Cat-Like Responses

       "One of the heros that toppled that poseur
emperor Kagato was discovered alive today," the news
broadcast said.  "When the space pirate Ryoko not only
helped lure the assassin Nagi out into the open where
she was captured by Galaxy Police forces, but also
rescued a native of the now famous planet Earth from
two slave traders."  The screen switched to a view of
an enraged Ryoko walking down the corridor of a Galaxy
Police craft.
       "Get that *bleep* thing *bleep* OUT of my
face!" Ryoko shouted full into the view screen before
stomping past the reporter.  "When did the *bleep* G
*bleep* P let you *bleep* on these *bleep* anyway!!" 
The camera followed her, its program obviously not
possessing a self-preservation sub-routine.
       "You seem upset about something," the reporter
asked through the automated drone.  "Aren't you
pleased to see Nagi captured and facing justice?" 
Ryoko whirled and reached out, grabbing the camera and
growling at it.
       "I will be *bleep* PLEASED when that *bleep*
*bleep* *bleep* are torn out and stuffed up her
*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* you *bleep* *bleep*." 
This was followed shortly by static and quick switch
back to the news room studio.
       "And so Ryoko sums up the general feeling that
populace has for the most-wanted criminal Nagi," the
anchor person said.  "Certain shortsighted officials
are even clamoring to reactivate the death sentence
for...*click*"
       "Ryoko is alive," Sasami said with wonder.  She
turned a reproachful look toward Washu.  "Why didn't
you tell us this?"  She wasn't, as it seemed speaking
in the Imperial third person, that was an affectation
Sasami left for formal occasions.  Unless she was
speaking for the Empire she felt uncomfortable with
such an attitude.  No, she was speaking for herself
and her sister.
       "I didn't want to get your hopes up," Washu
explained.  "By the time we found she had survived it
looked as if Nagi might have already killed her." 
Sasami nodded and sighed, looking very tired.  Even as
a virtual figurehead with other people to run most of
the day to day affairs of the empire, this task was
too much for her at times.  
       "We have bigger problems," Azaka said entering
the room.  "The ships escorting Nagi to the Galaxy
Police Headquarters have gone missing."
       "She's escaped," Sasami gasped, surprise and
then anger clear on her face.  That woman, that woman
had shared their hospitality, had pretended to be an
ally.  Then she had nearly killed them all.  She
sighed, trying to calm down.
       "She has half the galaxy looking for her, your
Highness," Azaka said.  "She'll be caught eventually."
       "I..." she paused.  "I think we should invite
Ryoko to the palace.  Before Nagi really does kill
her."
       "She might not come," Washu said.
       "She has to come," Sasami insisted, pleadingly.
 "If Ayeka...she has to come see Ayeka at least."  The
two adults looked doubtful.  "Please, I want to see my
all my family again."  She sighed, very tired.

********

       "Where am I?" Ranma muttered as he blinked
awake.  He glanced around and found himself in the
wide crystal room looking out on to stars.  To his
left was a great round sphere streaked by huge bands. 
"Ryo-Ohki?"
       "Miao," the ship responded, speaking from all
directions.  Ranma nearly freaked again, almost
imagining cats everywhere.
       "Don't do that!" Ranma snapped.  "What
happened?  I was runnin' from that..." he paused as he
noted a small streak of red marring the otherwise
clean ground.  "Oh kami...where's Ryoko?"  A door
opened in the one of the formerly clear walls, showing
the starfield to be a projection on a crsytal wall.
       "Miao," this time the voice came from one
isolated crystal hovering near the door.
       "Through there?" Ranma asked.  The crystal
bobbed in what Ranma interpreted as a nod.  He strode
quickly across the room and walked in, nervous about
what he'd find.
       "Do you know what this is you little brat?"
Ryoko was yelling at Ran Ran, waving around a piece of
paper.  "This is called a subpoena!  Thanks to your
little fuck up I have to show up in court and testify
against those fuckin' flesh traders!"
       "You speak very dirty," Ran Ran said back. 
"You no proper woman.  You you..." Ran Ran paused and
spoke something in the Amazon version of Mandarin that
basically translated to gutter-crawling bestiality
prone freak of nature that didn't know honor from a 
latrine.  "Musk!!"
       "I don't know what that means," Ryoko growled. 
"But I KNOW it's an insult.  It is an insult, right?"
She turned absent mindedly to look at Ranma, who was
looking quite relieved at this point.
       "You're alive," Ranma said in obvious relief. 
Ryoko blinked.
       "Ehh?" she said.  "What are you talking about?"
       "There was blood on the..." he noticed the
sling around Ran Ran's arm then and blanched.  "That
wasn't me, was it?"  He asked nervously, pointing to
Ran Ran's arm.
       "Huh, she got shot," Ryoko said confused.
       "And the blood was from that?" Ranma asked.
       "Nope," Ryoko said.  "That came from the
nekojin you tore apart, along with their ship.  After
that all you did was follow me around and...stuff." 
Ryoko blushed slightly and quickly turned to face Ran
Ran, not noticing Ranma blanch and quietly leave the
room.  "As for you...what's wrong with you?"  Ran
Ran's face suddenly looked shocked.
       "Neko-ken Ranma no attack you?" Ran Ran sounded
dismayed.
       "Well, I guess he can recognize friends
either..." Ryoko turned toward Ranma only to find him
gone.  "Where'd he go?"
       "No way," Ranma muttered to himself in the main
room.  "Ain't no way."

********

       Shampoo was a mess.  Pacing back and forth
through the back room of the Nekohanten as her
extended family watched nervously.  Her normally
flawlessly sculpted hair was dissarrayed and heavily
mussed.  Tufts of the purple stuck out at odd angles
as Shampoo ranted in alternately enraged and worried
Mandarin.
       "This is our fearless leader?" Ryuu asked
dryly.  He turned to see the effect of his joke and
immediately noted two glares being leveled his way. 
The master of the Yamasen sweatdropped and shrugged. 
"Just kidding."  
       The sound of someone knocking on the front door
seemed to galvanize Shampoo into motion.  One moment
she was there, the next she was gone, apparently
trying to compete with Ranma in the speed category.
       "Yes?!" Shampoo shouted as she opened the door.
 On the other side of the door were those friend's of
Ranma's new "wife."  Both were wearing some sort of
uniform that looked reminiscent of this countries
police forces, though there was something odd about
them.  "What you want?"  She paused, closed her eyes
and got a hold of her speech.  "What do you want?"
       "We came to tell you about your daughter," the
blonde one said.
       "That's sister, Mihoshi," said the dark-haired
one irritably.  Shampoo noted the green hair and idly
wondered if the woman was of Amazon stock.
       "Oh right," Mihoshi said.  "Anyway, your sister
is fine and -urk!"
       "What you know about Ran Ran!!" Shampoo
demanded angrily, throttling the blonde woman.  "You
tell Shampoo now or...let go!" Shampoo glared back at
her husband and brother in law, each holding back one
arm, as her target got her breath back.
       "Let them talk before you tear them to pieces,"
Mousse said.  Kiyone sweatdropped at the words as she
helped Mihoshi stand up.  The green-haired woman
smoothly unbuttoned the holster of her gun, making it
ready to draw.
       "You let go of my arms right now," Shampoo
growled.  Mousse and Ryuu glanced at each other before
obeying the command.  Shampoo straightened her back,
took a deep breath and glared at the two visitors. 
"Where is my little sister."
       "She's fine," Kiyone said quickly.  "She should
be back any moment."
       "Oh," Shampoo said, giving a sigh of relief
before returning to a glare.  "How do I know you're
telling the truth?"
       "Because Ryoko and Ranma saved her from a
couple of slave traders," Mihoshi gasped out.  Shampoo
twitched.  "She got shot in the shoulder," Shampoo
twitched again.  "But they had a medic fix her right
up."  Mihoshi unnoticing of Shampoo's reactions
continued along blithely as she got her breath back. 
"Lucky she wasn't on the bad guy's space ship when it
blew up..." Shampoo twitched, and Mousse was backing
away from her, giving Ryuu signals to do likewise. 
Right by Shampoo, Lin Lin had arrived and was somewhat
mirroring her big sister in reactions.
       "Mihoshi," Kiyone moaned, with her hand in her
face.
       "And Nagi could have really hurt her too,"
Mihoshi said.  "Imagine a little girl trying to
challenge the most wanted criminal in galaxy." 
Shampoo and Lin Lin almost face faulted.  "I mean Nagi
blew up half a space fleet and demolished the palace
of the strongest Empire in the galaxy just to get at
Ryoko.  I couldn't imagine what she would be willing
to do to a little girl like that."  Shampoo and Lin
Lin both seemed to freeze into pale marble statues
before toppling over.  "Anyway, we might have to call
her to testify later, okay?  Hey what happened to
them?"
       "Mihoshi," Kiyone muttered.  "Next time I'll do
this part, okay?"
       "It's good news," Mihoshi said.  "Why are they
acting like that?"  Kiyone groaned and then looked up
into the dark sky and at the glittering purple
structure she could barely see above them.  Then the
ship vanished.
       "Hello, Kiyone," an angry voice said behind
her.  Kiyone turned around to see Ryoko glaring at
her.  Ranma was a little back from her, looking
troubled about something.  The other Amazon sister
stared around for a moment before seeing her sisters
in a faint and rushing towards them.
       "Now Ryoko," Kiyone started nervously.  "I was
just trying to protect you."  Behind her, Shampoo and
Lin Lin had recovered and were giving Ran Ran a
scathing Mandarin lecture.  Mousse was providing a
great deal of help on this task, causing the
background to be filled with loud, angry, Mandarin. 
The sound changed to that of interrogation after Ran
Ran said something.
       "Oh, yes," Ryoko said tightly, walking forward
angrily.  "I know that."  She snapped out a fist and
sent the police woman sprawling to the ground.  "Thank
you!" she spat, before starting to stalk down the
street away from the scene.
       "Hey wait, Ryoko!" Mihoshi shouted.  "What was
that for?  Nagi would have kille..." She was stopped
by Kiyone placing a hand on her shoulder.
       "She barely tapped my," Kiyone said, wiping her
mouth.
       "Wait!" Shampoo called out, rushing towards the
silver haired woman.  Ryoko whirled to face her,
barely noting Ranma moving to back her up.
       "What is it!?" Ryoko demanded.  
       Shampoo regarded the woman closely, cautiously.
 From what she had heard, Ranma and this woman had
battled each other to a draw after more than a day of
fighting.  That meant that Shampoo herself had no real
chance in a battle against her.  Fortunately that
wasn't what Shampoo had in mind.
       "Ranma-Neko liked you?" she asked coolly,
watching both Ranma and Ryoko as she asked the
question.
       "Eh?" Ryoko said, taken aback.  "You mean when
he was acting like a cat?"  Shampoo noted the worried
and embarrassed look on Ranma's face and the slight,
but discernible blush on Ryoko's face.
       "I see," Shampoo said, straightening her back. 
She smiled briefly.  This might blow Ran Ran's chance
out of the water, hopefully she knew that, but it
meant something else for someone else Shampoo cared
about.
       "You see what?" Ryoko asked cautiously.  Then
to her surprise Shampoo suddenly gave her a
companionable hug, backed off and bowed to the
confused space pirate.  All this provoked a shocked
yell from Ran Ran behind her.  Shampoo's smile
faltered a moment, but returned as she said something
in Mandarin.  Then she turned about and began to stalk
toward Ran Ran again.
       ~This girl will have to learn about recognizing
opponents that are too dangerous,~ Shampoo thought to
herself.
       "What was all that about?" Ryoko demanded from
Ranma.  Ranma stared blankly for a moment, looking
flustered before answering.
       "Uh, she was talking too fast," Ranma said
hesitantly.  "I couldn't get it."
       "There's something about this 'Neko-ken' you're
not telling me," Ryoko said coolly.  She turned about
and stalked down the street a few moments before
lifting slightly off the ground and floating.  Ranma
took a relieved breath before following.
       "Ryoko," Kiyone called out.  Ryoko hesitated a
moment and glanced over her shoulder.  "If I weren't a
police officer, I'd probably agree with you.  I do
what I have to do."
       "So do I," Ryoko snapped.
       "Maybe you should talk about this when you're
both less upset," Ranma suggested, hoping to get away
from the Amazon's before they explained to Ryoko just
what Ranma was leaving out about the Neko-ken.  ~It
had to be some kind of fluke.~
       "Whatever," Ryoko muttered.  "All day wasted on
this crap."  She huffed, crossed her legs mid-air and
then vanished.
       "Great," Ranma muttered.  "Now where'd she go?"
       "Miao," Ryo-Ohki answered at his feet.  He
glanced down at the cabbit, one of two Kiyone noticed
and rolled his eyes.
       "Great," Ranma said.  "That means mom's gonna
lecture me about 'lover's spats' or something."  He
threw his hands up in mild disgust before jumping to
the rooftops, followed by the cabbits.
       "Since when did Ryo-Ohki connect with anybody
other than Ryoko," Kiyone wondered quietly.

********

       "Okay, listen," Ukyou said irritably.  "You and
I may agree on the goal, but that doesn't mean
tricking my ninja into doing something for you, under
my name!"
       "It is all for the greater good," Nodoka
insisted.  "And it certainly worked.  They have not
been seen all day."  A light appeared in her eyes as
she continued.  "I am certain that my son is proving
his manliness right now."
       ~Man, she's scary sometimes,~ Ukyou thought.
       "Excuse me," a new voice interrupted.  Ukyou
and Nodoka turned to see Ryoko floating there in
mid-air.  "There's something about this Neko-Ken that
no one's told me about yet.  Maybe you could fill me
in."
       "Errr..." Ukyou watched the hovering woman
nervously.  "What do you mean exactly?"
       "Neko-ken?" Nodoka repeated.  "What is that?" 
Ryoko and Ukyou glanced at her in surprise.
       "Nobody's ever told you?" Ukyou gasped.
       "I have heard it mentioned," Nodoka said. 
"When I asked, Ranma said that it was a technique his
father trained him in that didn't quite work."
       "He didn't explain more than that?" Ryoko
asked.
       "I do get the feeling that he was afraid I
might take issue with his father over it," Nodoka
said.  Ryoko smirked viciously and vanished for a
moment, reappearing with a slim book.
       "Take a look at this," she said tossing the
book to her rather odd mother-in-law.  As Nodoka
started to peruse the book she turned to Ukyou.  "Now
what is so big about Ranma liking me while he's
looney?"  Ukyou blinked and then cracked a wide smile.
       "Excuse me ladies," Nodoka said tightly,
walking to the side to grab her sword.  "I must have a
word with my husband."  Ukyou and Ryoko smirked as she
left the room.
       "You haven't answered my question," Ryoko said,
irritable again suddenly.
       "Well," Ukyou said, smiling.  "To my knowledge
the only two people that have been safe around him
like that were this little old lady he knew as a kid,
and..."
       "And who?" Ryoko demanded, a smouldering fire
in her eyes.
       "And Akane," Ukyou said.  Ryoko blinked,
suddenly not sure of what to say.  The silence was
broken by a scream of effeminate terror, followed
shortly by a panda rushing out through the room
holding a sign reading "I was tricked into it!  I
swear!"
       "Get back here, Genma!" Nodoka was screaming as
she followed after the panda, blade out.  "If you
think I'm letting you near our next child!"
       "Next..." Ukyou blinked, watching after them. 
"Wha-"
       "So you're saying he's got the hots for me is
that it?" Ryoko said in disbelief.  She laughed
nervously.  "Not that I'm not the hottest thing in
twenty galaxies, but you think that cold, emotionless
prude is capable of that?"  She laughed again. 
"Thanks for the joke lady, I needed that after today."
 She alighted on the ground and walked past Ukyou,
still chuckling and sweating slightly.
       Ukyou watched her go with a slight smirk on her
face.  She turned again at the sound of the door
opening to see Ranma walking followed two of those
little rabbit things and looking nervous and
perplexed.
       "Is there a reason Mom's chasing Pop through
the town?" Ranma asked.  "I mean a specific reason."
       "Ryoko showed her the Neko-ken manual," Ukyou
said.  Ranma flinched.  "So, I hear you've been a good
kitty."  And Ranma flinched again.
       "She told you," Ranma guessed.
       "Mmhmm."  Ukyou nodded, giving him a knowing
smirk.
       "And you told her," Ranma guesssed.
       "Mmhmm." Ukyou nodded again, her arms crossed.
       "Great," Ranma said, deadpan.  He looked at
Ukyou and then frowned.  "Oh come on, it doesn't mean
anything.  I never attacked you, or Kasumi or Nabiki."
       "None of us have ever been stupid enough to get
near you," Ukyou said.  "And I don't think anything
would attack Kasumi."
       "Yeah, right," Ranma said.  "Look, it doesn't
mean anything okay!"  He walked past her toward his
room.  "Tomorrow we're getting this thing annulled and
we each go our separate ways, got it?"
       "Right," Ukyou smirked.

********

       "That friend of yours told me something funny,"
Ryoko said as he entered the room.
       "Oh yeah?" Ranma said.  "Well don't believe
it."
       "Right," Ryoko said dryly.  "That's what I
said."
       "Yeah, there our tons of people I haven't
attacked like that," Ranma said.
       "That's what I thought," Ryoko said, gaining
back something of her footing.  "Must be able
recognize allies for allies or something."  She lay
back on the bed, relaxed, but vaguely disappointed.
       "Guess so," Ranma said, sitting down next to
the wall and getting ready for a night's rest. 
"Akane's the only one the cat ever kissed."
       "Urk."

********

       Ran Ran paced in her room listening to the
giggling from her twin's room.  She frowned and
considered her punishment.  House arrest, though
Shampoo had called it "being grounded" for some
reason.  It was probably something she picked up from
these outsiders.  How dare Big Sister Shampoo punish
for doing what any Amazon would do, get rid of an
obstacle?  And why was she so happy about this
sorceress and HER Airen?
       She paced a few more times and looked toward
the mirror.
       "Of course know," she muttered.  "THIS mean
WAR."  She tried to pose and jerked her shoulder. 
"After shoulder all better."
       And with that she grabbed one of those silly
outsider disc things her sister had brought back from
her "honeymoon" with that Ryuu person.  She seemed to
remember a couple of stories that had some good ideas
for winning someone's heart.  Something with a black
and white cat chasing around some other black and
white cat while things kept turning white and falling
apart around them.
       "Rabbit funnier though," she muttered as she
found the proper disc.

********

       "Do you have a fiendish sorcerer and a fair
damsel in need of desparate rescuing registered here?"
a heavily bandaged samurai in a rather ratty hakama. 
The innkeeper blinked in confusion at the figure
before her and then checked the log.
       "No sir," she said, confused.  "I don't see
that name registered anywhere here."
       "Then perhaps you can show the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan ab open room so that he might recoup from the
battles laid before him by the most foul Saotome?"
       "Well we have one such room," the innkeeper
said.  "This way mister Blue Thunder?"  She turned and
walked toward the corridor, a lurching mummy with a
bokken behind her.  "Be careful of the doll on the..."
       "What foolishness is this woman!" Kuno
demanded.  "Some child has left their playthings
scattered about the hallway, you should take care to
be more thorough in your cleaning."  The woman winced
as he brushed the doll off the pedastal to the floor."
       "...pedastal."  She sighed and shook her head. 
"I suppose this means you will not be enjoying your
stay at the Vengeful Spirit Doll Inn."

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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