Heya all!

In my continuing movement to post my stuff here and hopefully get honest and objective C&C, I post yet another fic. As I do this, I feel the fear of knowing I am probably going to draw many flames for this from a certain segment of the Ranma crowd. But as someone once said, "It's a fic, get over it."




FAIR WARNING: The following fic could be termed angsty, as well as being an alternate universe fic(meaning, the future is different that different than would normally be envisioned). Oh, and it's also a parody of type of fic, and one specific fic in particular.





Ranma 1/2
The Better End?






     My name is Ranma Saotome and I'm a martial artist.

     It's all I've really known, and it's all I wanted to do with my life. I've spent my whole life trainin' and fightin' with almost everyone I've met.

From my pops and Akane, to Ryoga and Mousse. I've never felt more alive than

when I learned a new technique, or beat someone who seemed unbeatable. Like I said, it's what I know best, and it's what I can deal with.

     In fact, since I don't deal real well with emotional stuff, I show how much I respect or care about someone by fightin' and teasin' with `em. What can I say? It's fun. When I was engaged to Akane, we used to fight a lot of the time. When my good buddy Ryoga came around, I fought with him. Pops was a lazy bum, but I kinda cared about the old goat. `Course I couldn'ta said that aloud, it wouldn't have been real manly, so I settled for a good round of heavy sparrin'. It's what pops would've preferred after all.

    `Cause I'm a martial artist, see? I like to fight; conflict is a part of who I am. If I don't train and fight often, I lose my edge, and I had to fight all the time. At least, I used to...

    "Honey?" comes my wife's voice from outside. "Are you done?"

    "I'm almost ready," I respond. I stare at the outfit that I've had to wear for the past decade and sigh, but put it on anyway. A husband should be respectful to his wife, at least, that's what she tells me.

     Oh yeah, I'm 30 and married now, so I suppose I should tell ya how I got to this point in my life. It all started when I was 16, and pops and I dropped by his old friend's house, who goes by the name of Soun Tendo.

     Wait, you already know that part, about how I was engaged to Akane, and all the crazy stuff that happen to us. How I got four women after me, three of them fiancee's.

     Oh yeah, no matter what you hear, Kodachi was never a fiancee! I'm REAL glad about that, too...

     Anyway, there was Akane, of course. She was cute when she smiled, and we got along just fine. Some people think we fought too much, but they didn't understand that's just the way we were. We were just kids after all, what'd ya expect? That we'd be all nice nice to each other all the time? How often do you get upset with the people ya live with? I didn't realize until later, how much I really loved her.

     Next came Shampoo, who was violent and deadly. Fightin' is one thing, but she took it too far by showin' she was willing to kill. Shortly after I beat her as girl, she relentlessly pursued me and pops, tryin' to kill us! She came close a coupla times, as well as tryin' to kill Akane and almost anybody else she thought was an obstacle in her path. Always wonder why I didn't do nothin' `bout the fiancee problem? Well there's your answer. Between her and the old ghoul, they could've done almost anything to people I cared about, and usually did.

     Then there was Ucchan, good old Ucchan. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood were when we were kids together and fought over okonomiyaki. I had a good friend, a sparrin' partner, and some good food. I only found out later that the boy I knew, was a girl, and then I felt real bad when I heard how pops left her behind. No one deserves to have that happen to them. So when she showed back in Nerima, I tried ta be real nice to her and be her friend, but she had changed. I couldn't spend five minutes with her, without some mention of how she was the `cute fiancee', or how perfect a wife she would be for me, etc. She even tried to get in my bed! And I thought it was just Shampoo who did that stuff. I felt real bad, `cause it seemed I lost the friend I knew.

    "I'll be opening soon!" my wife's voice calls again. "Hurry up Ranchan!"

     Sigh. "Comin' Ukyo."

    "What?" Her voice sounds a little... upset.

    "I said I'll be right there, Ucchan!"

    "Okay!" comes the happier response.

     Thought I was married to Akane, right? *Sigh* I wish I was. Not that I don't care for Ucchan, I do, but, well... *sigh.*

     You see, I always thought I'd get married to Akane and we'd run the dojo, but it didn't quite happen that way. Even after the failed weddin', I'd figured it was only a matter of time.

     Anyway, I was a little angry at what all the loonies did at the attempted wedding, and I decided to do somethin' about it. I was gonna start with Ucchan, but she disappeared for a week after the wedding, so I started with Shampoo instead.

     I was gettin' sick and tired of all the deceptions, mind tricks, and `3000 years of Amazon history' attitudes that I've had ta deal with. I didn't mind a straight up fight, but magic and mind games were just plain cheatin', and those explosives could've hurt Akane. She'd almost died twice shortly before, so I was feelin' a mite bit more protective of her. I didn't want to see her get hurt.

     I stormed into the Nekohanten and told Cologne I'd never marry her great-grandaughter, and she bopped me on the head and told me to `respect my elders'. Then I told her to either take Shampoo and go, or else.

     She chose, `or else', and challenged me to a final fight. If I lost, I would marry Shampoo. If I won, they'd leave.

     To make a long story short, I won. It wasn't easy, but after Saffron, Cologne seemed old and weak. They left shortly afterward.

     I was planning on takin' care of the Kuno's next, but something else happened, Akane disappeared.

     Her friends said she left school one day, and she never made it home. Me an' the families searched all over for her and Nabiki pulled in all her connections and favors, but we didn't find any sign of her. No one seemed to know what happened to her.

     After a month or so, Pops and Tendo-san tried to pair me up with either Nabiki or Kasumi, but I wouldn't hear of it. My engagement to Nabiki was not somethin' I wanted ta repeat, and Kasumi was too nice and too much like a big sister for me ta want ta marry. Besides, we all knew she liked Tofu, and Tofu liked her, and I didn't want ta come between `em.

     Of course, pops then tried to give me the old `duty and honor' lecture, but I was just so tired of everything, I told him to stuff it. We fought, naturally. It was a grueling match, and even though he wasn't technically as good as I was, he did know how I fought. After all, he taught me most everything I know. He pulled out every dirty trick he knew, just short of actually using his Yamesenken and Umisenken techniques.

     After ten minutes, I left him in the pond, battered and broken. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be able to follow me for at least a couple of months.

     You see, bein' at the Tendos reminded me too much who was no longer there, so I moved in with Ucchan instead, who had moved back a day or so ago. She never did say where she went.

     Anyways, I still thought of her as a friend, and she had been a nice shoulder to cry on during this time. Plus, I wanted to get out of Nerima and continue the search. Ucchan said she could sell the restaurant, get another yatai and leave anytime, and that sounded good ta me. I wasn't thinkin' real straight, then.

     In fact, I didn't stop to think until later about what happened to Konatsu. Ukyo didn't talk about him, and by the time I realized he wasn't there, I didn't much feel like asking.

     We left shortly afterward, not tellin' anybody about it since they'd probably try ta stop me. We wandered around Japan, sellin' okonomiyaki to people, while I looked for any sign of Akane. I showed her picture and talked to lots of folks, but nobody remembered seein' her.

     It took a couple of years or so, but I was eventually forced to give her up. It wasn't easy; kami-sama, it hurt a lot. With each passing day, my insides twisted more and more. I came too close to ending my life several times after that, figurin' I couldn't go on without her, but Ucchan stopped me every single time. I never expected I'd have to face the heart-wrenching agony of losing Akane all over again, just like Jusendo.

     Only there was one difference. At Jusendo, I knew she was dead. Now, I didn't have a clue what happened to her. Did she die? Was she kidnapped? What?

     I even snuck by the Tendo dojo late one night, but I didn't see any sign of her, except for the addition to the family shrine in the dojo. It was for Akane. Apparently, the Tendos had held a funeral service and given her up for dead.

     I left then and I ain't been back since. Eventually, I decided to start livin' again, after havin' a wierd dream where Akane made me promise to live for her. So, I began lookin' for a dojo and a sensei I could study under and probably end up inheritin' one day, only it never happened.

     You see, after awhile, Ucchan suggested we get married. We were already engaged, and she said she loved me, and we was basically livin' together anyway... I shrugged and thought, `Why not?' There was the matter of of honor there, not that I cared much at the time, and it would've made my old friend happy.

     So, we tied the knot, she became a Saotome, and my life hasn't been the same since.

    "Come on, Ranchan! The customers are waiting!"

     I sigh yet again, and exit the tent. Ucchan nods and smiles at me, approving my current state. Ya see, I'm female at the moment, and wearing a drop, dead, sexy blouse and skirt. That's was Ucchan's idea, and at first I went along with it since it drew in the customers. But over time, I realized I was spendin' more time as a girl than a guy.

     Don't get me wrong, I don't mind my female half much anymore, but I was born a guy an' I feel like a guy and ain't nothin' gonna change that. As I spent more an' more time as a girl, though, and see the male customers leering and staring at me, I began ta get disgusted with the idea. But I figured I'd only have ta put up with it until we found a dojo, or had enough money ta build our own.

     Ucchan had other plans, however, and said we should save the money for a nice house, and maybe a chain of yatai's and restaurants. But I needed my martial arts, they were a huge part of my life. So, whenever I found a nice dojo and sensei to train under, Ucchan would tell me that we didn't need it. We had a yatai and each other, and a dojo just didn't fit into the plan right now.

    "What plan?" I asked her.

     She smiled, and I got the impression that she was humoring me. "Why, our family of course! We need to make plenty of money so we can support a family." She said it as if she was explaining things to a five year old.

     This happened several times, and at one point, I attempted to put my foot down and tell her that we were going to stay at one. That's when she began to cry and complain that I didn't love her, and that I was only using her.

     If there's one thing I can't deal with, it's seein' girls cry. So, I relented, and we moved on. I didn't really press the issue after that, altough I tried several times

     Oh yeah, we do have a family now, two girls. They're at home, while we're roamin' around with the yatai. We take these trips every other month or so, an' Ucchan calls `em trainin' trips. Not martial arts trainin', but makin' okonomiyaki. I'm a pretty good chef now.

     But where was I? Oh yeah, we had a few kids, though I was the one raisin' `em. Whenever we were at home, Ucchan insisted I should be the `mother' of the household, since she was earning the income ta support us. I reluctantly backed down. After all, I certainly wasn't earnin' any money to support our kids, and I wasn't about to steal like my old man.

     So here I am, flauntin' my scantily-clad body while serving and entertaining the customers and takin' orders. It's what I've been doin' for the past several years, except when I'm takin' care of the kids, and always as a woman. I haven't been a man for a long time. The only times I can remember, are when Ucchan's in a mood to show off her husband.

    "Ranma! Prepare to die!"

     I turn at the familiar shouted taunt, then break into a wide grin. "Ryoga you pig! How long's it been? Ten years?"

     Ryoga's grin easily matches mine. He's still wearing the stupid tiger-striped bandanna and yellow shirt, but other than that, he has changed. He was big and strong when we were young, but now he's literally a mountain.

     He suddenly breaks out laughing.

    "What's so funny?" I demaned to know.

     He points at my clothes. "What the hell are you dressed up like that for!?"

     I realize I'm still female and dressed in the skimpy blouse and skirt. "It attracts the customers." I offer the rote answer. I almost believe it now.

     He shakes his head. "Akane was right, you are a pervert." I scowl, and he somehow realizes he has overstepped. "Sorry. Hey, are ya free for awhile, so we can catch up on old times?"

    "Ryoga-san." I didn't even hear Ucchan step up. I notice the area is free of customers, so she must've turned off the grill for awhile. "It is... good to see you again."

     I notice Ryoga tense up a bit. Most people would miss it, but I've been trained since birth to read people. That same sense tells me Ucchan is a bit on edge. I push those thoughts aside for the moment.

    "Ya mind if I take a break to talk with Ryoga a bit?" I ask my wife.

     Ucchan doesn't respond right away; she's currently locked gazes with Ryoga. She breaks it and gives me a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Sure. Have fun." She walks away, but I know she's hanging around nearby.

    "So," I begin walking with him. "What have you been doin' with your life? Didja ever marry Akari?"

     He nods. "A couple years after you left. I've been livin' at her farm. It's been good."

    "I glad. She was always crazy about you."

    "And you married Ukyo. So, how's married life treatin' ya?"

    "Not bad. Yourself?"

     Ryoga grins a little. "Pretty good."

    "Still change into a pig?"

    "Yeah. It ain't so bad anymore, since Akari likes it."
     We walk in silence for a bit. I can tell he's a bit uncomfortable bein' around me with the getup I've got on. I don't blame him.

    "So, I hope married life hasn't made you soft," he states.

     I read the implied challenge. It'll be good ta tangle with someone like Ryoga. I haven't fought anyone in a long time. "Just let me get changed and I'll show you how soft I am!" I boast.

    "Sure, whatever, Saotome!"

    "Hey!" I sound indignant. "Stay right here, and I'll be back!" I start to walk off. "And don't move! I don't want you ta get lost and wimp outta this fight!"

    "Don't worry, you won't get that lucky!"

     I chuckle to myself as I head back to the tent. I grab the kettle on the way, and douse myself once I've shed my female clothing. I reach into my duffel bag, and pull out a new set of clothes, or should I say, an old set of clothes.

     I slip on a black pair of pants and a sleeveless red Chinese shirt. I've carried this particular outfit with me everywhere, but it just now dawns on me how long it's been since I've worn it. The disturbing thing is, it fits perfectly. I mean, it should be tight or something, because I've supposed to have grown. I've noticed that several times in the past 10 years. On the rare opportunities I become male, I still appear as I did when I was seventeen.

     I end that line of thought for now as I snap on my bracers, slip into my shoes, and exit the tent. "Gonna have a fun little match with Ryoga." I respond in answer to my wife's questioning gaze.

     She frowns, but nods her acceptance.

     Ryoga's right where I left him, and he starts when he sees me. It's obvious he's noticed my lack of growth. "What-?"

     I shrug. "I fell in the spring of drowned _young_ girl, remember? I think that means I don't age while female." And I've been female a lot in the past ten years or so. But I don't say that.

    "Whatever." He grins a toothy, fanged grin. "I'm still gonna kick your butt."

    "Dream on, pig-boy," I retort, and spring to the attack.

     Right off, I know something's wrong. How?

     I miss.

     Ryoga dodges to the side and I feel a painful stab in my gut. I twist away and launch an Amagurkien, but to my eyes, it doesn't seem all that fast. After I punch him several dozen times, I grab an arm and execute a judo throw to toss Ryoga several meters away.

    "Ha!" I grin in triumph. "Take that! Now who's gettin' soft!"

     Ryoga gets to his feet, an odd look on his face. "I barely felt that. Is that all you've got?"

    "Shut up, P-chan!" I snarl as I charge.

     I up the speed at close range, trading various blows and attacks. At first, I seem to have the upper hand, but it's clear I'm not doing much damage and Ryoga seems faster than I remember. I take a couple of his powerful piledriving punches and go flyin' to the ground.

     Ryoga looks at me, pity on his fast. "What happened, Ranma?" he asks quietly. "I would've thought you'd been training all this time, and be much better than this."

    "I ain't through yet, bacon-breath." Deep inside, I know he's right. I haven't done much martial arts training in awhile, nor faced any good opponents. It's obvious Ryoga has done both.

     But I'm not ready to admit defeat. I'm the best, I've always been the best, and I always will be.

    "Go get him, Ranchan!" my wife calls from the sidelines.

     Hightened by confidence, I let loose my signature ki-blast. "Moko Takabisha!"

     The sphere of ki-charged air plows into him, though he was able to cross his arms in front of his face before it hit. He's pushed back several yards, but he remains on his feet.

     I don't give him time to recover as I leap at him. "Is that all you've got!?" I'm a blur of fists and feet, driving Ryoga back under my merciless assault. He can't touch me, as I'm pouring on every ounce of speed and strength I've got, only my arms and legs feel sluggish and awkward.

     I'm trying to remember how to ride a bicycle, and not doin' so well.

     For a split second my eyes meet his and we both understand something: I'm not hurting him at all. Ryoga was always built like a tank, and agin' and trainin' has only solidified his rock-hard muscles.

     He clips my side, sending pain shooting up my torso. That slows me down for his backhand that knocks my head to the side. A punch to my gut doubles me over, then a two-fisted slam sends me down to the ground.

     I spit out some blood and attempt to rise, but my shakey arms and legs won't respond very well.

    "Stay down, Ranma," I hear Ryoga's worried voice. "It's over. Rest."

    "NO!" I scream. "It's not over!"

     I drunkenly regain my feet and Ryoga shakes his head. "Maybe we could do some training and get you back into shape..." The look of pity comes back into his eyes for a moment, but he forces it away.

     It was too late, anyway. I saw it. "Go ta hell, Ryoga! I can beat you any time I want, bacon bait! I was always better than you!"

     Ryoga shakes his head again and for the first time I notice that he never once raised his anger in response to my insults. "Maybe... another time..." He turns to go. "It was good seein' ya again, Ranma."

     I shakily try to follow, but collapse to my knees. "Yeah, run away and get lost! It's what you've always been good at!"

     He doesn't retort or respond, but disappears into the forest.

     Tears are coming down my face now, but I don't pay much attention to it. A long time ago I ceased ta care about what was manly, ever since... I lost Akane. I collapse to the ground as I sob, and then Ukyo is there, holding me and whispering soothing words to me.

    "It's okay, Ranchan," Ukyo tells me. "Ryoga's always been a bully. It doesn't matter that you lost; winning or losing doesn't mean anything. You still have me, and the kids, the yatai and the restaurant. What more could you want?"

     Good ole Ucchan, I think to myself. You just don't understand my need to be the best, nor what it really means ta be a martial artist. I sacrificed so much to be good at what I do, always looking around for the next challenge or opportunity to advance my skills. It's obvious, though, that it would take years to even match Ryoga's strength. Hell, even Kuno could probably give me a good run for my money now. I'd have to do some serious training to regain my the skills I had when I was younger.

     However, it's unlikely to happen now. After all, I've got the kids to take care of and the restaurant to help run. Where am I going to find the time to do some serious training?

     And for that matter, can I even get those skills back? I wanted to be the best, so where did I go wrong? Are all the good fights with good friends behind me now? Do I really have to give all that up? Is there any way for me to happy with the way my life is now?

     I am no longer what I was, so just who am I now? This question scares me the most, because I don't know anymore.

     My name is Ranma Saotome, and I... I used to be a martial artist...






---------------------------------------------

Author's notes:

"Where did this come from? What in the world were you thinking?"

Well, everyone knows Akane's dark side, and quite a few people believe R&A aren't good for each other because of the way they see her treating him. So, I asked myself the question, `what about Ukyo?' Most fics I read where he ends up with her, they tend to have a normal, mostly happy life with not many problems whatsoever. Based on the manga, what kind of life would R&U really have if they got married? The result is the fic above, just to show people that a marriage between R&U might not be a good thing, either.

"Why didn't Ukyo show much interest in a dojo or martial arts? She's a martial artist too!"

Yes, but hers is a family art that revolves around cooking and making the best okonomiyaki. Her art stays in the family and is not something she would teach others. Her art at it's core is cooking; she's a chef first and a martial artist second. From her viewpoint, why run a dojo when a restaurant or yatai suits her needs much better?

"But she does know what it means to be a martial artist!"

She knows it means to be a master okinomiyaki chef and to expand those skills for attack or defense, but like I said above, she's a chef first. There is an anime episode and a manga episode that illustrate this concept very well. The anime episode is called "The Iron Chef", and is where Crepe Joe tries to outcook her. Being as it's her cooking skills and restaurant being threatened, she leaps to the fight (And incidentily, you'll notice Akane trying to help by keeping Ukyo's restaurant open while she trains, while when the situation is reversed in the "The one to carry on", Ukyo's only thoughts were of getting rid of Akane while she trained. Now the manga episode is where the Octopus Balls dude, Hayato Mojin shows up. They had a fight when they were younger, and she won, so he trained to beat her. Pure, simple, fighting. At the end, he beat her, but she didn't much care, nor say anything about retraining to beat him. It shows her pride is in her cooking skills, and not her fighting skill.

Oh, and I really do like Ukyo. She does have her good moments, moreso than Kodachi or Shampoo. She does tend to care about others when Ranma is not in the picture, but once Ranma enters, most other concerns go out the window.

But, as a matter of fact, I like all the characters, because that's what makes Ranma 1/2 so funny and entertaining. It wouldn't be very entertaining or interesting if the characters got along perfectly and had no faults.

Anyway, this fic actually turned into being about Ranma and where he's coming from. Midway through writing this, the subject shifted somewhat and I just went with the flow. It turned into a way to shed some light on his character, and why he does what he does. He's martial artist, first and foremost, and 90% of his actions revolve around that. Fighting is as natural to him as breathing. As a martial artist, he's always looking for the next challenge, the next fight, while enjoying the ones around him. Take that away from him, and you can see what happens.

What worse for him? Hitting him all the time? Or taking away his martial arts and with it, his sense of identity?

Now, notes about a possible sequel to this:

I've been thinking about it, and have some ideas plotted. And since I don't particularly like sad and angsty fics, I may engineer the sequel to brighten it up a bit. After all, what really happened to Akane? How about Konatsu? There seems to be a little something unpleasent between Ryoga and Ukyo, what is it? Let me know what you think. Would you like to see more? A happier ending? Is it fine the way it is?


As always, send C&C here:

oddball22@hotmail.com

Another fic by Brad Angell, aka Kaiphantom (just because I have to have a funky handle)
www.geocities.com/kaiphantom2000

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