At 13:02 10/24/2001, Danna Sean wrote:

Gaijin

    Part 4

    The Tower

       <snip>

++++++++++++++

Carrot smirked as he exited the bathroom and
adjusted the dull gray ball cap that rested on his
head. He was dressed in the overalls and was
actually washed now. He smirked to himself; he'd
forgotten how good it felt to be clean. The soap
in the dispensers and the sink had been enough to
do him considerable good, even if the soap was
watered down.

       Just a short stylistic note here, Carrot..
It's been my personal experience that most janitorial
closets in large public buildings (at least the central
closets) tend to have both a large sink and a simple
shower. Emergency towels, both bath and hand (albeit of
the disposable paper sort) are also often kept in the
larger closets.

       This is mostly in the event that the janitor
is splashed with something disgusting or possibly
toxic. It does, however, make things a little simpler
for your character.

       I know it seems altogether too conveinient for
your character, but it is quite real, as anyone who's
worked in the janatorial business or in the military
can tell you. (Trust me, GI's do a LOT of sweeping,
mopping, and waxing of halls, and more than once I've
had to hustle into one of those emergency showers to
wash off some nasty floor-wax-stripping chemical I'd
accidentally been splashed with.)

       It's a small detail, but often it's the small
details that give your story the power to grip the
reader.

       Just a thought...

       Ed Becerra

       "Dreamers may die, but the Dream is eternal..."

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