Hi again!
My one and only pre-reader, V-chan (Kami-sama, Belldandy, Peorth and Urd bless her soul) has just informed me that the formatting has indeed messed up. It seems that all my ellipses (elipsees?) have been reduced to a microscopic dot called a "period". While they were intended to be "..."s, they ended up as a simple ".". She also mentioned that it seemed that I hated Akane. I don't actually. Besides the fact that she's worse tempered than a stepped-on badger, it was just fun to do for this fic. Apologies to whoever feels slighted.
As for the formatting, I apologize. I apologize for what I have done, what I have failed to do, and I apologize for Bill Gates and his software. If anyone knows how to fix this then please mail me, preferrably privately so as not to contradict the effaycue.
If it seems wrong, then maybe you can imagine two more little dots at the end of that lonely period to make them happy.
I promise, I'll fix everything up on the final post after all the C&Cs and before I release Part Two.
Oh yes, one last note. Many, many ideas of mine have been inspired and drawn from several other fics out there. Mirrors Multiplied, The Bet Fics, DnR, Comes the Cold Dragon, Hearts of Ice, Fist of the Pikachu, Destiny's Child and lot's more. These fics are all done by great authors and I'm glad to have read their works.
Thanks all!
-rndbau
It's messed up rnd.
v-chan@bigfoot.com
Sent October 25, 2001
I know.
-rnd
Good day all!
This is my first time to post on the FFML and this is my first released fic. I was watching several anime series over the weekend, ranging from Video Girl Ai to Gatchaman. (No, I won't include Gatchaman as a crossover. Ai and Youta? Maybe.) All that watching inspired me to write something. It also gave me a headache but that's a different story. I wrote this up in MS Word 2000 and directly cut and paste it into MS Outlook. I have no idea what the formatting will look like. If it's messed up, please say so and maybe you can suggest a way to fix it. Anyway, as I said, first fic alert so I expect a lot of errors, grammatical as well as story-wise. C&C please. If you must flame, flame constructively, preferably using sacred fire from the Cherry Hill Shrine.
<sounds and actions>, (my inane comments), [thoughts], {panda signs, streetsigns and other reading material}
None of these characters are mine, I never said they were mine and anyone who says they are mine would be wrong.
Two Steps Back, Three Steps Forward; Part One
By: rndbau
It was a sunny morning in Nerima. Birds woke up twittering to the morning dew while basking in the light of a brand new day. The skies were an azure majesty that stretched across the horizon to kiss the faraway mountains. Crickets were chattering in the background and everything else was as serene as they could possibly be.
"Ranma, you pervert!"
Serenity, just as in the Silver Millenium, died a grisly death.
"How is it my fault this time you uncute tomboy?!" Ranma shouted back. "You walked in on me. Again! I put the 'occupied' sign out this time."
"That's not the point," rebutted an irate Akane. "You saw me naked again. You always do this Ranma."
"'I' always do this? Excuse me Akane, but it seems to me that every time this happens in the bathroom, you walk in on me. Makes me think you're the perverted one here. I mean, don't you even check the damn door for the sign anymore? Didn't you even see my clothes on the floor of the changing room? Jeez..."
"Don't you dare lecture me in my own house you idiot! You're just freeloading here with your useless father!"
"What does that have to do with anything?" yelled back Ranma. He was getting really tired of this routine and of the tomboy.
He had thought that things would be better after Jusendo and the failed wedding attempt. Actually they did get better. for a while at least. He had a few relatively sane weeks following the fiasco and thought things would go on like that for quite some time. Boy, was he wrong. After three weeks of relative calm, Uchan had come over bearing okonomiyaki as a peace offering. Ranma had been hungry since he'd been training all morning and Kasumi hadn't even had lunch ready yet so seeing as he was a bottomless pit anyway, accepted the offer. This was of course, when Akane came home from a friend's house. Things had gotten progressively worse from then on. Ranma was malleted for flirting with Ukyou and was yelled at by the two idiot parents. Shampoo then showed up and glomped onto him just because she wanted to and this caused another hail of projectiles headed his way. Ryouga, for once, got to where he wanted to go and saw the carnage and decided to join in to pound Ranma. Happosai saw the girls fighting and wan
The arguments and fights were thankfully defused by a smiling Kasumi, who announced that lunch was ready and everyone 'playing' with Ranma was invited. So everyone ate in relative peace though a heavy silence settled over the table as Ranma noticed a certain miasma of hostility in the air. He saw from the corner of his eye each of the girls glaring at each other, a lump of pork glaring his way and a Peking duck glaring at Kasumi thinking that she was Ranma, to which the oblivious teen merely smiled back in return.
Ranma was thinking again. He was unused to the activity since in battle, if you had the time to think, you were already dead. He was used to just doing things based on instinct and familiarity. While this situation was indeed familiar, he wasn't enjoying any second of it. He thought of all the times the actions of this morning were repeated and calculated that they happened at least three or four times a week. This was troubling to the martial artist since he didn't want this to be the pattern to his whole life. He had come to a decision. He would take control of his life immediately. Well, maybe as soon as he finished dinner. (Kasumi's sukiyaki was to die for after all.)
After dessert had been served and consumed, Ranma stood up and cleared his throat dramatically. "I have an announcement to make," he nervously managed to squeak out. "As you all know, my life is as messed up as it could possibly be. I have been attacked almost every day of my life by either blind fools (while glaring at Mousse), idiot parents (staring at Soun and Genma), dishonorable, stupid pigs lacking a sense-of-direction (guess who/what he looked at) and uncute tomboys." The last was said, not with a glare, but with a rather sad and wistful look at Akane.
"I have come to a decision," Ranma managed to blurt out with a little more conviction. What happened next was not in the plan.
"Oh happy days! The families will now be joined!" shouted a dancing Soun with the customary rising sun war-fans and confetti. Genma soon joined the dance and chant adding a beach ball and unicycle from his bag of panda tricks.
"Oh Ranma honey! Thank you! I accept. We can get married this afternoon," squealed an enthusiastic okonomiyaki chef.
"Wo ai ni! Wo da ailen! <blah blah>," giggled a bouncing Shampoo who, in her excitement had reverted to her native Chinese. (I don't know how to speak Chinese, I know some people who do but I'm quite sure they don't speak the Joketsu dialect.)
The scenario was mostly universal, affecting everyone in the room with almost the same results. Kodachi had clung onto his arm proclaiming that her Ranma-sama had made her so happy by choosing her. Ryouga had screamed out a standard "Ranma, prepare to die", this time for agreeing to marry all of the girls. Mouse had attacked with his fist of the white swan screaming that he'll never have his Shampoo and unfortunately hit a water pitcher on the table. Needless to say, with all of 'em being the water magnets that they were, the Jusenkyo gang got wet. Instant zoo, just add water.
Ranma was stressed. He was angry. He was also a wee bit frustrated since he was a now technically a she, a buxom redhead and he didn't even get to make his announcement! P-chan was biting down hard on his leg. Akane, apparently not noticing the pig transform, was swinging the table Ranma's way. Ukyou and Shampoo were trying to kill each other. The fathers had brought out the sake and were celebrating the wedding. Kasumi was pouring tea. Thank the Kami that Nabiki was out of town or else he'd have to pay for all this. Cologne was ROTFL. Shampoo was clinging to his pant leg with her claws. "Wait a minute. shampoo + cold water, factor in claws and clinging to his leg. Hmm. What does this mean anyway?" Ranma mused. Shortly, a startled but quiet "oh" was heard.
"CAAAAAAAAAAT! Get it off me! Get it off me! AAAGH!!!"
As we said before, Ranma was stressed, angry and frustrated. It only took stress and the presence of a c.c. feline to induce the catfist state, coupled with the other factors, he got there in record time.
"Rrrroowww.," hissed an angry Ranma-neko. This was apparently enough to make everyone back off for a while. Akane, thinking that Ranma would, as per the old days, come to her and sit on her lap went forward and knelt down near Ranma and tried to coax him closer. Unfortunately, she called him with a much louder voice than you're supposed to use when trying to cajole an angry feline to calmness. Ranma attacked.
What came next was the most graphic, gratuitous, and gruesome display of Anime violence the world (or the FFML) had ever witnessed. It was also rather therapeutic.
Akane was still. She was sprawled out in the middle of the Tendo dining room with her clothes all tattered and torn. Her stomach, arms, legs and face were crisscrossed with triple parallel lines, which were lightly bleeding. Her hair was a tangled mess, some of it several meters from where her body lay chopped off by a molecule thick ki-claw. In the room full of people (and animals), not a creature was stirring, not even a Mousse.
Ranma was wondering why everyone went still all of a sudden and staring at him so he decided to just look for a good place to rest and maybe take a catnap. Bounding over on all fours, he snuggled into a comfortable lap and began licking his 'paws', cleaning them of the blood and gore that now smeared them. [Hmm, this not taste good. Mental cat-note; do not lick paws after attacking violent short-haired girl. Almost as bad as her cooking.]
Kasumi looked at the body in the middle of the room. She saw that her little sister was still breathing so figured that she'd be okay. With Doctor Tofu out of town, she had to care for Ranma and the others when they were injured so she had considerable experience with tending and diagnosing injuries. This one wasn't so bad. She was jolted from her thoughts when a sudden weight pressed down on her legs from her kneeling position at one end of where the table used to be.
"Oh my," Kasumi breathed out. "Ranma, are you alright? You've never come to me before and this is the twenty-sixth time you've been in the cat-state already."
"You counted?" asked a bewildered Ukyou.
"Well, yes. At least I think it's twenty-six. Let's see. There was the one at school, the one at the beach with Elder Cologne, one time at the market, once when Midori-chan form next door chased her cat here, once when. ," counted Kasumi while ticking off the numbers on her fingers.
"We get the idea Kasumi," mumbled Ukyou while folding Kasumi's hand closed to stop her counting.
"It seems that son-in-law no longer trusts Akane," stated Cologne. "He wouldn't come to Kasumi if that were the case. He must like this Tendo girl the most now among all of you."
"My Ranchan trusts me!" shouted an emphatic Ukyou. "I'll show you."
<swipe><swish><slice>
"Um. maybe not right now." mumbles a slightly pale Ukyou while holding what was left of the handle of her battle spatula.
"I would suggest you not make any quick and sudden movements right now Kuonji-san," advised Cologne.
"I agree," whispered Ukyou.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Several hours later, a male and non-neko Ranma is in the dojo contemplating. "If that happened before I even told them my decision, what would they have done if they actually heard it? Maybe I should just leave. The Saotome Secret Technique! I could use that and leave until I can get a better idea of what I want to do! This is perfect!"
While Ranma was lost in thought, Akane walked in carrying P-chan and sat beside him. She had changed into a gi and had one of Genma's spare toupees taped on her head. "What were you going to tell us in there Ranma? You said you already had a decision." Akane was fidgeting heavily and clasping her hands together. Something seemed to be really interesting with her hands since she was just staring down at them.
"Well Akane. It's like this. I've been thinking and."
"Oh here you are Ranma. I've been looking for you. Here, drink this," ordered Kasumi while handing him a cup of tea. "It should make you feel better and a bit more calm after that incident before. "It's chamomile tea. Supposedly, it helps ease nervousness and stress. You too Akane."
"Thanks Kasumi," replied Ranma while taking the offered cup. "I think I'll need this and maybe a lot more for today."
"You're welcome Ranma."
"Thanks oneesan. I'll bring the cup back to the kitchen later," said Akane. "What were you saying before Ranma?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Many miles away, at the Nerima Mall...
"Hey Yuka! Won't that just look great on Akane?"
"Ugh! Yellow again? Doesn't she have enough yellow sundresses Sayuri? Honestly, It seems like she just has five different outfits. Maybe we should get her something in green or purple, maybe even black. Just as long as it's different."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This being an anime world, the inevitable happened.
A-choo!
"Gesundheit, Akane," Ranma automatically replied.
"Ooh! Someone must be talking about me," Akane giggled after the forceful sneeze. She looked at Ranma and noticed that his eyes had gone wide and were staring at her front. [Why that pervert! He's staring at my breasts! Wait... Ranma's staring at my breasts? Cool!!! I have to act angry now or he'll think I'm enjoying it.]
What Akane missed (well she is quite oblivious) was that when she sneezed, her toupee slipped off showing an ugly bald patch and more importantly, she spilled her tea. Chamomile tea is best served really hot. Really hot tea means really hot water. Akane sneezed. Water spilled. Akane was carrying P-chan. Guess what happened.
"R. R. Ryouga?" stammered a wide-eyed, short haired, uncute, tomboy.
"A. hehe. he," chuckled Ryouga while scratching the back of his head. [Something wasn't right here. A minute ago he was taking a nice nap in Akane's arms. Now he was sitting on her lap, looking up into her angelic face. also, he was a bit wet. Hmm. Oh yeah, he was naked too. ]
"You. you.. YOU PIG!" screamed the aforementioned tomboy.
"Akane! Stop! No, don't! It's not what it looks like! I can explain!"
<WHAM><WHAM><WHAM>
"Ryouga you jerk! Not only are you P-chan, you also peeped at me, lied to me and worst of all, YOU BROKE MY FAVORITE MALLET!!! AAAAARGHHH!"
<WHAM><WHAM><WHAM><SPLASH>
"Good thing I had a spare," finished Akane after bouncing Ryouga off the compound wall and into the koi pond.
Ranma was looking wide-eyed at all the destruction and mayhem in the Tendo Dojo and out into the yard. He knew Ryouga was tough, he learned the Bakusai Tenketsu after all. Hmm. maybe Ryouga needed to take the advanced course.
"RAAAAAAANNMAAAA!!! You jerk! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Uh-oh," said a certain pig-tailed full-time martial artist and part-time projectile.
<WHAM>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Hmm, I wonder where I'm gonna land this time?" He calculated his velocity, angle of launch, licked the tip of his index finger and held it up and guessed his approximate landing point. He saw that he was heading for the NFPF, or the Nerima Fluffy Pillows Factory. He breathed a sigh of relief then since there was a chance he would land in something soft. Unfortunately, Ranma had a guardian angel and his name was Murphy. There was a sudden gust of wind and he was thrown a few meters to the right. He checked his trajectory again and saw his new landing spot. "Oh no." He had been saying this a lot as of late, but he had a very good reason now. The factory to the right of NFPF was the NFMC. Yup, the Nerima Fireworks Manufacturing Co. "This is gonna hurt."
<BOOM>
Once again airborne, though not as high as the last time, Ranma saw that he was heading for Juuban Park. "Perfect! I'm headed right for that fountain. The water should break my fall even if it does turn me into a girl. Hey, who's that walking down there. <splash> glub glub."
"Don't move!" commanded the silhouette. The sun was behind her and he couldn't see her face. All Ranma could see was the katana drawn, glinting in the sun and laying against his exposed throat.
"Ranma? Is that you?"
"Mom?" Ranma couldn't believe his luck. His mom was just the person he wanted to see right now.
"Son, why are you playing in fountains at your age? That isn't manly you know."
<Gulp>
"Uh mom. never mind. Can we go to your place? I need to talk to you."
"That would be fine my son. I need a favor from you also."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Several dry towels and four cups of tea later, Ranma was wrapping up the story of his day.
"So that's what happened mom, and that was just today."
"That. that... that's absolutely insane!" exclaimed a shocked Nodoka. "Wait, we are talking about your friends. I guess it's normal enough. And it is Nerima after all."
"Yeah, too normal. It happens every other day! It's getting to me. I'm afraid if it doesn't stop I'm really gonna hurt someone. I nearly maimed Akane this morning while in the catfist. I've never done that before, to Akane at least. She was always the one I went to when I was neko-fied. I'm scar. afra. I'm. I'm worried mom."
"Hmm. This might not be so bad Ranma. Remember what I said before about needing a favor?"
"Yeah, but what does this hafta do with."
"Hush child. My sister over at Hinata Springs is the caretaker of an Inn there. Our mother left it to us when she disappeared several years ago while travelling the world's hot springs. She's busy taking care of her restaurant so she needs someone to take care of the place as a kanrinin for the summer. Your summer vacation has just started so I told her I'd ask you if you were willing. I realize that this will take you away from all your fianc�es, your father, Ryouga and all your friends, but please consider this request. You don't have to answer right now, think about it fir."
Nodoka's words were cut off abruptly as she found herself being swung around the room by an enthusiastic Ranma.
"YES! YES! I'll do it mother! When do I leave? Is tonight early enough? I can pack real fast! What'll I wear? Should I take my long-sleeved Chinese shirts? The silk might shrink in the hot water. I need to buy a new toothbrush. Maybe that blue one with Pikachu on the handle.or should I get the red one with Bulbasaur? Oh no! However shall I choose? I must have them both!"
<SLAP>
"Ranma! Control yourself," scolded Nodoka putting her hand down.
"Gomen mother," said Ranma. He then made a mental note to himself; break Kuno's jaw at the earliest opportunity.
"Um. I think tomorrow will be good enough son. You'll like it there. We stayed there a few times when you were little. I'm not sure if your friends are still there though."
"I had friends there?" wondered Ranma. "How long ago was that?"
"It was thirteen years ago I believe. We stayed there with my mother and your Aunt Haruka for the summers when I wasn't teaching. You made a lot of friends there. Maybe they still live over at Hinata Springs."
"This sounds just like what I need mom. Imagine that. Two whole months without being threatened, attacked, malletted, poisoned and etc. Two months with nothing but HOT WATER around me. Two months without pops! This is gonna be great!" exclaimed an obviously jubilant Ranma.
"It's settled then. I'll just call your Aunt Haruka and confirm that you'll do it. He said she wanted to see you since she missed you so much. She was often your nanny you know."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<ring-ring>
"Moshi-moshi, Hiantasou. Haruka speaking."
"Haru-chan, this is Nodoka. I'm just calling about that job you had for Ranma."
"Doki-chan! Did he accept? I was just about to call Kaori to ask if her son Keitaro would like to volunteer."
"No need for that sis. Ranma's agreed. He'll be there tomorrow. How's the little pest by the way?"
"Do you mean Keitaro or his mother?" chuckled Haruka.
"You're still the same Haruka chan," replied Nodoka while sighing wistfully. "I meant Keitaro of course, but I guess it does apply to our little sister."
"She said that Keitaro was still pushing for Todai but he flunked the past three entrance exams. She's losing hope that he'd ever get in but is still pushing him to find a job first."
"That's our sister. Impractical as ever. I just hope poor Keitaro doesn't suffer too much because of it."
"Let's get together sometime, just the three of us. No husbands OK! I don't want to feel left out. Seta-san and I didn't actually part on happy terms you know. Though I still see his sister's family once in a while, Seta hasn't called me in over a year."
"Don't worry dear, we'll get together soon. I've got to go. We still need to get Ranma packed and ready for tomorrow. I wish I could accompany him but I have work tomorrow so you'll just have to greet him. Don't worry, he's hard to miss."
"Really? And why is that dear sister?"
"The pigtail is a dead-giveaway. He'll probably be wearing a red Chinese, silk shirt and black pants. Take care of him OK? I'll see you soon."
"Alright. Bye Doki-chan! I'll call Kaori to tell her that the position's already filled."
"I told you not to call me that Haru-chan. I hated that nickname. Tell Kaori I said "hi" and thanks sis! Goodbye, see you soon!"
<click>
"Alright, Ranma. Everything's arranged. You're to go straight to Hinatasou and your Aunt Haruka will meet you there."
"Meet me there? Doesn't she live there too?"
"Yes, but she mostly stays at her restaurant. You'll be the manager and handyman of the inn so you'll be alone most of the time unless you have guests. I think she has a couple of residents at present' but I'm sure you'll get along with them as well."
"OK. I can handle that. It gives me more time to train and practice. The repairs are easy enough to handle since I've got a lot of experience at the Tendo's place. This'll be great! Thanks mom."
"You're welcome my son. Now let's head to the Tendo Dojo and pack your things. You need to catch the train early tomorrow morning."
"Alright. Let's go!"
End Part One
Part Two; coming soon (if my boss doesn't catch me at the office)
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