I just recently found out that the FFML was back up, and I was not able to
subscribe for a long time due to the fact that my school is paranoid and
psychotic about its internet policies, so I am just now returning to the
FFML. No one remembers me, I know, but I was posting for a while before
the old list shut down. I used to be h40@sjnma.org, but my email address
changed when I got back to school this year. Anyway, just letting anyone
who might remember me (fat chance, but still) that I'm back. Other than
that...um...FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!
///////////////////////
Ha ha ha! I win!
//////////////////////
I'm ripping off Rumiko Takahashi's characters, again. I'm going to hell.
*************
Ranma trudged through the streets of Nerima, Japan, close behind her
father, Genma, who was in his panda form. Jusenkyo curses were weird;
Ranma was a girl at the moment, even though he had been born a boy. The
cold rain that was falling saw to that.
"Yo! Old man! Where the heck are we goin'?" called Ranma harshly. She
didn't like being out in the rain any more than she had to, but that was
not the reason she was inquiring as to their destination; she had been
following her father for three weeks without any idea of where they were
going, and she didn't like that. "Well?"
Genma snorted and held up a sign. 'We're going to a friend's house.'
"Friend?" asked Ranma. "You don't have any friends, Pop." She ducked
under the paw that sped toward her head and snorted derisively. "Let's
just go, okay?"
The panda growled to itself and turned to point at a house just two houses
away from where they stood. 'That's where we're going, Boy. Stop being
so impatient.'
The girl scowled. "Fine, let's get inside, then. I'm cold."
Genma held up a sign that said 'Weak' as he started walking toward the
house.
++++
"What's this about, Dad?" asked Nabiki Tendo lazily as she looked at her
father, Soun. Kasumi, her older sister, and Akane, her younger sister,
flanked her to the right and left, respectively.
Akane scowled and added, "Yeah, I could be out in the dojo practicing
right now."
Soun sighed. He didn't like deceiving his girls. "A friend of mine is
coming to visit. He has a son, about Akane's age." Akane tensed up. He
really didn't think Akane would react favorably to the pact with Genma
that had been made so long ago, which was why he was withholding
information from the girls. That didn't mean he had to like it, though.
"They're going to be staying with us for a little while. I just thought
you would like to know. You live in this house, too, after all."
Kasumi smiled at her dad as she said, "Thank you, Father. It was very
nice of you to forewarn us."
Nabiki's eyes held a predatory gleam in them as she said, "Is he cute?
Your friend's son, I mean." The girl licked her lips.
Soun cleared his throat. That look made him nervous. "I don't know; I've
never met him. I have known his father for a long time, though; I met him
when I was training in martial arts so many years ago. I understand that
Genma has been teaching his son martial arts, as well, so I can imagine
that he would be fit, if not necessarily handsome. Does that help?"
Nabiki smirked. The gleam in her eyes intensified, if that were even
possible.
Akane glowered. "As long as this...boy," the word was laced with
contempt, "knows to keep his hands and eyes to himself, I shouldn't have a
problem."
Soun grimaced, but turned it into a smile before anyone could notice. He
hoped, at least. "Don't worry, Akane. I don't think you'll have any of
that kind of trouble."
Akane was about to reply harshly when a knock came at the front door.
"Ooh! That must be...what's the boy's name, anyway?" Nabiki said as she
looked at her father questioningly.
"Ranma," said Soun as he stood to receive his old friend. It had been far
too long since they had last seen each other.
Kasumi reached the door before he did, though, and she opened the door to
reveal a large, wet panda and a young girl with red hair, just as wet.
"Hello," murmured the girl as she bowed politely. "I'm Ranma Saotome."
Soun stared. This was certainly unexpected. "Um...where's Genma?" asked
Soun cautiously before Kasumi could say anything.
Strangely enough, the girl blushed and muttered, "Could I please get some
hot water? I'll tell ya, but it'd be easier for you to believe if you saw
it."
Kasumi smiled sweetly; she was very good at that. "Certainly, Ranma dear!
You're a friend of the family! Come in, come in!" She waved the two in
and scampered off to get some hot water as Soun and his other two
daughters stared awkwardly at the pair of dripping figures.
Soun broke the proverbial ice. "How has your trip been?" Soun was sure
that Genma had said he had a son. And where was Genma, anyway? This was
far beyond strange.
The girl shrugged her shoulders. She must have been shy.
"Where do you live?" asked Nabiki innocently.
Ranma fidgeted. "Well, I don't really...live...anywhere." At the
confused looks she got, she expounded. "Me and pop have been on a
training trip for a while now. We camp out most of the time. That's what
I mean."
Akane seemed interested at that. "How long has this trip been going on?"
"Most of my life." Ranma shrugged. "Well, if you were wonderin' how my
trip was," he said to Soun, "then I guess you mean the trip from China,
right?"
"Wow! China!" exclaimed Nabiki. She seemed genuinely impressed.
At Soun's nod, Ranma responded, "It's been good. Not a whole lot of
trouble, I guess." At that moment, Kasumi came back in with the hot
water.
"Here you go, Ranma," said Kasumi with her ever-present smile.
Ranma took the kettle and grinned nervously. "Don't get freaked out,
now." She turned to pour some of the hot water on the panda, and then
poured some more on herself.
Soun definitely DID get freaked out, and then passed out.
++++
"Let's go over this again," said Nabiki, confused slightly. The entire
group of people was sitting at the dining room table, each family taking
up sides facing each other.
Genma sighed and adjusted the bandanna on his head; the bandanna was
white, to match the gi he had put on. He patiently began anew. "I'm
Genma Saotome, and this is my son, Ranma." The boy bowed slightly at the
waist as his name was mentioned. "We've been on a training trip for a
number of years, now, and we've most recently been in China. While there,
we came across an accursed training ground called Jusenkyo."
Akane frowned at the boy, but turned her gaze to his father in order to
ask, "If it was cursed, why'd you train there?"
"We didn't know it was cursed at the time, Akane." Genma frowned right
back at Akane. Soun was pale, and Kasumi was basically holding him up as
he swayed left and right, but Genma turned back to him and spoke again
despite the indications that he was not feeling too well. "Anyway, we
were training there when I fell into one of the pools. The curse of the
place is that once someone falls into one of the springs, he or she takes
on the form of whatever drowned in that pool. I fell into the pool of
drowned panda, and Ranma into the pool of drowned girl. The curse works
in such a way that when cold water is poured onto the victim, the curse is
activated; hot water reverses the transformation."
Nabiki frowned. "Okay. Well, that settles that." She stood up and
stretched. "If you don't mind, it's pretty late. I'm gonna take a bath
then go to bed. G'night." She lazily waved at everyone before leaving
the room.
Akane stood up immediately and said something similar before leaving the
room, as well.
Soun turned to his eldest daughter and asked, "Kasumi? Could you show
Ranma to the guest room? He'll probably want to get some sleep, too."
Kasumi smiled in acquiescence and led the younger Saotome up the stairs.
As soon as they were gone, Soun leaned closer to Genma and whispered
conspiratorially, "Does Ranma know?"
"No," said Genma, whispering just as quietly. "Do any of your girls?"
"No, and let's hope it stays that way until we can figure out what to do."
Soun frowned and scratched his moustache. "First things first: who should
Ranma marry?"
Genma sat back and shrugged his shoulders casually. "That's your call,
Soun. I don't know your daughters."
The man sighed. "You're right, of course. Although I don't know your
son, either, Saotome."
Genma frowned. "Tendo, it's your dojo."
"Fine, fine," grumbled Soun. He frowned in concentration for a moment.
"Well, I guess Akane would be the best for him. I mean, they're both the
same age, and they both practice martial arts." Genma nodded, and Soun
continued. "Okay, so now that that's settled, how are we going to get the
two married?"
Genma smiled slightly. "How did we make the contract in the first place,
Tendo?"
Soun echoed Genma's smile. "Sake."
The two friends jumped up and embraced each other, tears of joy flowing
down their faces. "Our families will be joined!"
++++
Kasumi had gone out shopping, and Nabiki had been given money and told to
go out and have some fun, so the only people in the house were Akane,
Ranma, and their respective fathers. Akane wasn't too happy about that,
but she didn't have much of a choice, seeing as all of her friends were
busy. So she had to improvise.
Akane screamed in exertion as she shattered another concrete block. "Ah.
That's better," she smiled as she dusted off her hands. It was a nice
day, and she had always enjoyed breaking things by the koi pond on nice
days.
Ranma smiled as he watched her from just outside the dojo. There was
nothing better to do, really, and he was curious as to how good this girl
was, anyway. Besides, she was kind of cute. Not that he cared about
stuff like that. All he cared about was the Art. Still...
Akane sensed something behind her and whirled around, assuming a defensive
stance. "Who's there?" When she saw Ranma, her demeanor became even more
defensive despite the fact that she relaxed out of her stance. "Oh. It's
you. What are you doing there?"
Ranma shrugged. She didn't have to be so hostile. It's not like he was
gonna kill her, or somethin'. "Just watching. Wanted to see how good you
were."
Akane smirked, but it was not a happy smirk. "Well, if you want to see
how good I am, why don't you spar with me?" This would teach
that...boy...his place. After she beat him into the ground, he'd know who
was in charge around the Tendo home.
Ranma shrugged. "Sure. Come on in to the dojo," he said as he turned and
entered the building.
Akane fumed. Why couldn't they spar outside? What made him think that he
was entitled to choose the place for their sparring match? Akane would
show him... When she entered the dojo, she saw Ranma at the far end,
standing in a relaxed pose, calmly regarding her. "What are you doing?
Aren't you gonna stretch?" Ranma shook his head, causing Akane to become
even angrier. What did this guy think he was, some kind of superhero?
Showing off by not stretching? Well, after she mopped the floor with him,
he wouldn't be nearly so casual when it came to sparring with her. Damn
boys... "Fine! Here I come!" The youngest Tendo immediately launched
into a flurry of punches, closing the distance between them in virtually
no time at all, hoping to catch him off guard. She was surprised when she
failed to connect. At all. Not one of her punches landed. So, he was
quick. She'd have to predict, huh? Akane leveled a punch at Ranma's gut,
and he leaped into the air to avoid it. Akane smirked as she immediately
kicked into the air, again expecting to catch Ranma completely unawares.
Ranma easily twisted out of the path of the attack, though, and calmly
waited for her to attack again. "Well? Aren't you going to attack?" she
asked belligerently. The fact that this guy wasn't taking her seriously
was annoying her. She'd have to REALLY let into him, then.
Ranma calmly assessed the girl. She wasn't too bad, but she telegraphed
her moves quite a bit, and she definitely needed to work on her control.
Other than that, though, she had a lot of potential. She would...his
thoughts were cut off as Akane attacked again, driving her fist toward his
chest at double the speed she had previously been punching at. She wasn't
too bad at all. He was better, but that didn't mean that she was bad. He
calmly jumped over Akane, completely avoiding the attack and landing
behind her. He smirked to himself as he tapped the back of her head to
signify the end of the sparring match. They'd have to spar again
sometime. This Akane girl would benefit from his instruction.
Akane was astonished when her hand broke through the wall. Where had
Ranma gone? She felt a tap on the back of her head and her stomach sank.
Ranma was really good! He was a lot better than she was, that was for
sure! This did not bode well. Before he could see her face flushed with
anger and embarrassment, she turned and walked toward the exit. "Next
time, fight back." How had he beaten her so easily?
Ranma was about to call to Akane, to ask her to come back so he could show
her what she had done wrong, when Soun and Genma appeared at the door of
the dojo and smiled. "There you two are!" they chorused. "Come on! It's
time for our celebration to start!" The two teenagers were dragged into
the dining room by their respective parents and set at the table, facing
each other. In the center of the table, several bottles of sake and four
cups were arranged neatly.
Soun practically beamed as he said, "Genma, Ranma, I am honored to have
you staying in my house. I would like to welcome you to my humble home.
Because I am so honored and pleased to have my best friend and his son
living with me and my family, I am throwing this party for you." He
reached over, poured four cups of sake and distributed them. He then held
his cup up, waiting for the rest of the people in the room before saying
"Cheers!" and draining his cup.
Akane was preoccupied. How had Ranma beaten her so easily? Had she been
telegraphing her moves? She absently drained her cup. She was gonna have
to get Ranma back. That...that...BOY...was gonna pay for this. She was
too busy glaring at Ranma to notice someone refilling her cup. She
absently drained it again, planning out how she was going to train in
order to beat Ranma.
Ranma shifted uncomfortably. He didn't drink. He didn't really like
sake, truthfully. When the rest of the people at the table drained their
cups - even Akane! Ranma was surprised at that; she had seemed such a
straight shooter - he just swirled it around in his hands. Genma, after
swallowing, looked askance at Ranma, noticing that he had not downed his
drink, yet. He leaned over and whispered to his son, "Ranma, drink your
sake. You don't want to offend them by not accepting their hospitality,
do you?" Ranma blushed and drank his sake. He didn't know anything about
behaving around other people; his father knew what was best in those
situations, though he was a moron about just everything else. The liquid
burned as it went down his throat, making his eyes water, but he drank
again and again as his cup was refilled, not wanting to offend Mr. Tendo
or Akane.
++++
Akane and Ranma swayed in place as they stood in line to register their
marriage with the state. They were totally smashed. Akane had thrown up
twice already, and Ranma was busy singing some J-Pop song he had heard on
the radio earlier. Genma shushed his son and Soun supported his daughter
as they were called up to the desk after a LONG hour-and-a-half wait.
Soun struggled to get his daughter to the desk, while Genma had to keep
Ranma from getting up on the counter and singing karaoke. The man behind
the desk just sighed and asked, "May I help you?"
"Yes," replied Genma while keeping Ranma from stealing his bandanna,
"these two would like to get married."
The secretary slowly looked at Ranma, who was counting incorrectly in
English and apparently finding it very funny, then looked at Akane, who
was as pale as a sheet and swaying from one side to the other, and asked,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," replied Soun hastily, "they've been seeing each other for almost
two years now." He smiled uncertainly.
The man sighed again. He hated this job. "Okay. I'm assuming you have
the fee?" he asked as he extricated the marriage form from its folder in
his desk. When Soun had deposited the money on the counter and Genma had
filled out the form, the man double-checked all of the info. on the sheet
of paper and said, "Okay, now all I need is their signatures or stamps,
and they will be married." Both fathers assisted their children in
signing their names, but even so, Akane barely finished her name, and
Ranma drew half of a horse and two little stick figures around the kanji
for his name. The clerk sighed a third time and took the certificate.
"Okay, that's that. They're married. You'll receive your copy of the
certificate in the mail as soon as we can get it to you, and your family
registries will be updated. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Saotome."
Ranma giggled and prodded his father's face with his thumbs; Akane lurched
and threw up on the floor. The marriage was off to a grand start.
*************
MWA HA HA HA!!! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I DON'T LOSE! I
WIN! I WIN! I oh, hell...
This story is gonna deal with Ranma and Akane's life after marriage. I
don't know how this idea came to me, but it intrigued me, so I wrote it.
Sue me. (Kidding. Please don't. You'd waste more money than you'd get.)
The whole premise of the story is gonna revolve around the fact that
neither of them was ever able to have incorrect assumptions about the
other, so their relationship is forced to develop quasi-normally. Well,
as much as a relationship in the Ranmaverse can, I guess. The fiancee
problem has been dealt with (except for Shampoo), and most of the jealousy
problems have also been dealt with, but the conflict still remains since
they don't know each other before being forced to marry. I like the idea:
tell me what you think. Or don't. Whatever.
Feh to yeuh and yeuh and yeuh. That's all I have left to say.
Well, except for this: C&C POR FAVOR! ONEGAISHIMASU!!! SI VOUS
PLAIT!!!!!! BITTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please and thank you.
A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies
Humanity: A Haiku
Tiny floating leaf
Calmly drifting on water
Under mushroom clouds