When the Twinkle Fades...

Something entirely new from Xelan Metallium 
 <xelan@linainverse.com> - <http://www.xelan.cjb.net> 

A "Twinkle Twinkle Idol Star" fic

(Certain characters belong to Hikaru Tooyama and others. No copyright
infringement intended. Remember: suing people is a bad thing.) ^_^

Note: This fic is not based in canon. It is an alternate universe
where Ayumi does crossdress for Marimo's sake, but things are nowhere
near as happy.

Special thanks to Ronald Chan. Thanks to him, I have corrected the slight error I made with the characters names. I shouldn't have made the error, because it is such an sloppy mistake, but I was due anyway.

*Warning!! Dark and Angsty*

---------------------------

The concert ends. We exit the stage. She exits first and while I take
up the rear. We both go to the dressing rooms. When we first started
we shared the same one, but have separate rooms now. She had said that
it was so the fans wouldn't get any strange ideas about us. "After
all," she had continued, "While you're like this, you're my singing
partner, not my partner." And she had smiled and went off to the brand
new dressing room that she had had them build for her. It had made
sense then, it might have even been true, but now I wonder.

Things were relatively quiet after that. For a long time, things
seemed to just stand still. Nothing changed, nothing got better or
worse. Then things did start to get worse. I just hadn't realized it
till now. Early on, after every concert, we always used to retreat to
our private single dressing room to be together. She'd help me out of
the costume, take off the wig, remove the make-up and after I slipped
out of the special panties and into my boxers, we'd kiss and caress
each other for a while. She liked to whisper things into my ears as I
sat on the sofa and just held her. Then, she was always thanking me
for all that I put up with and sacrificed for her. I always replied
that I was glad to do it for her and that I loved her. She would just
chuckle and scuffle my hair like a mother would do to a petulant
child. Those were some of the best days.

As time went on and the concerts became more routine, she stopped
being so affectionate. Oh, we still kissed from time to time, but
mostly she'd hug me around the waist and apologize that she was too
tired to come back to my room with me. By this time, we'd already
gotten separate room. She'd smile at me, and lightly chuckled as she
glanced at me one more time before heading down the short corridor to
her own dressing room. I felt a little sad, but there was still a lot
to do. We were making a lot of money, and after all I was secure in
the fact she was my girl and that she would never ever cheat on me.
How could she, when I was making such a huge lifestyle change for her,
dressing as a woman and posing as her singing partner. I remember
often thinking, 'What other man could replace me?'as I walked into the
old dressing room that we had once shared together. At first, it was
difficult taking off the wig, costume, and make-up, but I learned
quickly. After only a few months, my real hair had gotten long enough
that I didn't really need the wig anymore. All I needed was a dye job
and some styling every so often. A side-effect of this was that I
couldn't go out as a man as easily anymore. From then on, whenever I
went out, it was with a cap on my head or with something else to hide
my feminine hair cut. The costume became easier too. I had always been
a little more petite than most men, and because of this, we had been
able to buy only slightly larger than normal women's clothing right
off the rack. After a few weeks of dieting and a few months of
refraining from doing any exercises more strenuous than a leg lift, I
was even able to go down a size or two. Still, She had recommended
that I had better not lose too much weight. Her rationale was that I
needed to look like I had more of a bust than what I had naturally. It
was because of this, that I got my first wonder-bra. Let me tell you,
those things are a wonder. They aren't as comfortable as you might
think, but they do get results. I had always been a tad flabby in the
chest, but with the bra on, I looked like I had honest-to-god
cleavage. Not very much, mind you, but cleavage non-the-less. My make-
up skills had been terrible when we had first started, and she had
always had to do most of it for me. I almost had a handle on lipstick,
but anything more difficult than that was lost on me completely. It
was around our eighth show that she gave me a book on make-up. "Make-
Up for Dummies" I think it was. I can't remember very well, I don't
even use it now. I do all my own make-up, but for the last 20 shows,
she's been using a make-up artist. When I mentioned that maybe I
should get someone to help me with my own. She laughed lightly and
then said, in a more hushed tone, "Who could we get to help you?" And
then I realized that what she had said was true. There would be such a
scandal if anyone knew that the cute Miss Ayumi was really a man
in drag, that we'd both probably have to leave the country. I dropped
that thought from that moment on and quickly left her dressing room
out of shear embarrassment.

I'm in my dressing room right now. Actually, I'm still in the doorway.
I get like that when I'm thinking... I kinda zone out. She used to say
that was one of my biggest flaws, and after everything started, she
used to joke that I was a real air head. Every once in a while, she
even quipped that maybe I should have died my hair blond instead of
red. Heh. We don't speak like that anymore. It used to be that we
spent time together before and after each concert, but now we only see
each other during the concert. After that, I'm never sure where she
is. Either tucked away in her dressing room trying on some new dress
for a date or out on one of the dates that she was buying the dresses
for. Out on a date. That still sounds so weird when I say it. "I'm her
boyfriend. I'm the one she loves." I tell myself, even though I'm not
sure it's true anymore. When I found out about her dates, I had
confronted her about it. Full of anger and hurt and betrayal, I had
stormed over to her dressing room and barged in without even bothering
to knock. She was laying on top of her bed covered by red silk covers.
After I explained my grievances with her, she laughed for a bit and
then proceeded to explain that I had nothing to worry about. Her dates
were only with other stars, and they were only for the purpose of
quieting some rumors that had popped up about her being a lesbian. Her
explanation had been very convincing and after I had calmed down a
bit, I smiled at her and tried to hug her as a way of saying I was
sorry for ever having doubted her. She grimaced slightly when my arms
reached out for her. She stopped my effort by saying that her back was
sore and that she didn't feel like a hug at that moment. I felt a
little let down by this, but I tried again by asking her if she'd like
to have dinner with me that night. She smiled and shook her head.
Apparently she had a date with the new bishonen star of some movie. I
asked her if she should still go, because an injured back is nothing
to laugh about. She shrugged and told me that it was nothing too bad
and that she'd be fine by the time it was ready to go on her date. I
nodded at this and left for my own dressing room. I was glad that she
still cared for me, but I didn't feel happy. I guess, it was at that
time, I began to worry just a little.

No wig to bother with anymore, so I move on to my costume. Another
short sleeve blouse and miniskirt combination. I seem to be wearing
blouses and skirts all the time now. This time, it's all pink. I don't
mind the feminine colors anymore, after all, my closet has more
women's clothing than men's. Besides, I don't get much chance to wear
my guy clothes anymore. I look too feminine. I'd look funny in long
pants and a dress shirt. I remember when I tried on a pair of jeans
after I'd finished a concert. I'd lost so much weight that I had to
cinch the belt all the way to the last hole and the pants were still
too loose. Anyway, with my blouse off, I consider whether I want to
take the effort to take off the wonder bra. When I first got it, I
took it off every evening. That got to be very tiresome very fast.
Although it works well, it is a bitch to get off. I can barely reach
the hooks and it takes forever to get all the hooks undone. It takes
even longer to put it back on. Lately, I seem to leave it on for as
long as possible. I only take it off to change into a new one. I think
that's what I'll do tonight. I don't feel like going through the
aggravation, anyway. I think I might take off my hose, though. Full
pantyhose is nice, it creates a nice even look for my legs, but it
gets itchy right around the edge of my panties. I try to wear thigh-
highs whenever I can, but tonight I had no choice. Miniskirts tend to
require pantyhose. I slide them down and sit down at my make-up table
to take them off. Without thinking I also slip on a pair of white
thigh-highs. I hadn't even been aware that I'd done so. I'd done that
exact same thing so many times while sitting at my make-up table that
I guess it was a conditioned response. I looked at my feet and wiggled
my toes. The stockings weren't uncomfortable and the nylon did feel
nice against my skin, so I decided to leave them on. No one was around
to see my in my state of undress anyway.

Since I was at my make-up table, I decided I should take off my makeup
too. After a few minutes, some tissues, and some cotton swabs, my face
was as clean as I could make it. I looked at my self in the mirror,
trying to see if I'd missed anything, till I noticed that I'd
forgotten to take my earrings out. I was surprised. I'd never
forgotten to take out earrings before. These were my heaviest ones
too. I couldn't believe that I'd had those enormous pieces of gold and
diamond in my ears and hadn't even noticed them. They'd just been too
comfortable, I guess I'd been wearing them so often that I'd become
used to them. As I took one off and reached to take off the other, I
realized that my head felt funny without them on. Almost as if my head
was too light without them. It struck me as funny that I should feel
strange without earrings on, after all, I am a guy, but I put them
both back on anyway. It felt better, and no one was there to see my
anyway.

I got up and went over to my clothing on the floor to put them in the
hamper to be dry cleaned. I looked up at the clock. I hadn't realized
that it was so late. I'm usually changed to casual (women's) clothing
and on my way home by now. By the look of things, all my introspection
had put me almost a full hour behind my usual routine. As I deposited
my clothes in the hamper, I heard a sound coming through the wall. My
dressing room was right next to Marimo's. The wall were thin, so I moved
closer to the wall where the sounds were coming from. I listened, and
God I wish I hadn't. At first I thought someone was having a fight in
Marimo's room. After I'd listened a little longer, I realized it was her
and not someone else. I prepared to rush over in case she was being
raped, but then I recognized those sounds. She was in ecstasy. I'd
heard her making those kind of noise many times before. However, I
used to be the only one she'd allow to touch her. Apparently all that
had changed. As she called out the name of her current 'flavor of the
month' I turned away. My fists were clenched and my eyes were shut
tight. I wanted to cover my ears and will the sound and mental
pictures away. But when my eyes were shut, I saw her naked and with
some other man. She was happy and she didn't need me anymore. I
started to cry. As her moans of pleasure got louder, so too did my
sobs. Finally, my legs gave way, and I collapsed in a heap, silently
sobbing. I deserved better, was my last thought before I took the
diamond earring out of my right ear and quickly slit my wrists. As the
blood began to pool and soak into my white stockings, I glanced at my
make-up table. There, in a silver frame, was a picture of the two of
us. 'I still love you' was my final thought, before my eyelids slowly
slipped shut...

-----------------------

Comment of kind intent are welcome. Comments from uncaring, idiots are
not.

Author's Notes:

     Alright, you're probably saying, "What the heck was that?"
Well, I'm here to answer. This fic was created by taking some basic
elements from the series, 'Twinkle Twinkle Idol Star," and perverting
them into what you've just read. I've never seen Twinkle or found any
translations for it. What I have seen is one single, solitary fansite
that has a few scans and one or two sentences of plot explanations. If
I took only the information from the site, I wouldn't have been able
to create a fic at all, but I just took some of the information and
combined it with a Ranma plot I've had in mind for a while. I could
have used any number of transgender series', but Ranma has been used
ad infinitum and "Futaba-kun Change" and "Mintna Bokura" didn't have
the necessary elements in them. Besides, I knew too much about them to
screw up the characterizations and plot, as I've done here, without
feeling guilty. So, in short, the characterizations, plot, character
description, and virtually everything else is not part of Twinkle
canon. Just so you know, yes, Twinkle is shounen. Essentially, the
only things that I did use is the name of the series, names of the
characters, and rudimentary physical descriptions of said characters.
Now, I was lying when I said only one site had anything on Twinkle.
Otakuworld has one sentence and one link to the already mentioned
Twinkle fansite. However, that Twinkle fan site was a xoom.com page
and has stopped functioning, as well as the nbci.com page that it was
transferred to. I am planning on uploading the scans of the Twinkle
manga covers that I downloaded from the Twinkle site onto my own site,
because the original site went down. I will try and give whatever
credit I can find, but since the original site is down that may be
difficult. You may have noticed a trifle bit more angst in this fic than
in my other pieces. All I can say about that is... I was depressed!

Some pictures of the cast can be found at the Modern Reader's Manga Guide. http://www.artistic-inks.net


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