Part Three of Three
---Satellite of Love
Cambot pulled back, revealing Crow dressed in a baby's
jumper and a diaper. On his net was a red wig, covered by a
baby bonnet. He was imprisoned in essentially a large dog
kennel, clutching a rattle in one claw. A gag decorated his
mouth, and Crow was trying his hardest to get out of it.
Suddenly, Tom Servo came in from the right-hand side, and a
spotlight shone from above. Dressed in a bow-tie and a
rather cheap-looking toupee, he inched up to the microphone
left from Crow's "TomTrack" introduction and said, "Nene
Robotova, this is your life!"
"MMMPPPHHH!!" came the response from the cage, as Crow
tried to drop the rattle and shake the bars.
Tom cleared his throat and continued. "Yes, Nene, you've
had a rather tough go of it lately, but here is a possible
list of the people who could save you from this
embarrassment! Starting with..."
Mike entered the bridge, wearing a leotard and a long brown
wig. "Hello, I'm Linna Yamazaki!" Canned applause was
opened, and Crow shook the bars once again.
"Hello there, Linna! Now, what is the reason that YOU
can't visit Nene at her home and maybe save her from this
torture?"
Mike twirled a lock of the wig's hair as Crow cried from
the cage. "Well, I think it's because I have a class to teach
tonight! Yeah, that's it, I'm not one of those nasty salary-
women in an office..." Mike smiled to Cambot and jogged off
of the shot.
"Okay! Whom else might be able to get you out of that
cage, Nene?" Tom asked rhetorically to the tune of rattled
metal. "Whom, indeed... *psst! Joel! It's your cue,
man!*" Tom hissed off-stage.
A crash and a muffled cry later, Joel responded, "I can't
seem to get this stupid jacket on! Who did my wash last?"
"Crow, I believe," Tom answered.
"MMMPPHHH!! Mpph mpph mpppphhhhh MMMMMMPPPPHHHHHHH!" Crow
tried to yell from his cell.
"All the more reason for me to stall then, right Tom?" Joel
questioned. "Well, I might as well come out..." Joel
stepped out into Cambot's view in a jacket, slacks,
sunglasses, and a holster on his hip. "Hey folks, I'm the
ultra-suave Leon! C'mon, ladies, here I am!"
"Ain't he a beaut, ladies? And he's completely single!"
Tom announced into his microphone. "And Leon, tell us why
YOU can't see Nene tonight!"
"Daley invited me for a beer! It was a place called...
'The Lonely Sailor', I believe." Joel responded. "And boy,
am I thirsty! I guess Nene will have to stay alone. But she
has all her computers to keep her company!"
"MMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Crow's muffled
cries reached a crescendo, but still did nothing to dislodge
the gag... or for that matter, the red wig still perched atop
his net. The lights chose that moment to start flashing
wildly and the satellite shook with the impending...
"FIC SIGN!" Tom yelled as he cleared off of the desk.
"MMMPPHHH! MMPHH!!" Crow yelled from his cage...
(Door #7: the dog-bone raises and the doors separate)
(Door #6: a Dutch double-door. You open the top and fall
over the bottom)
(Door #5: Just to spite you, it's a window.)
(Door #4: it's a garage door. You have to open it manually)
(Door #3: "The Complete Works of David Eddings"... flame
works well)
(Door #2: It's a wardrobe. You open the door... but no
Narnia)
(Door #1: a vault door; after it shuts again, it effectively
keeps you inside)
(Mike entered the theater, carrying Tom. Tom was placed in
the fourth seat from the right, as Mike sat next to him.
After that was Joel.)
Crow [offscreen]: MMMPPPHHHH!!
Mike: Aww shoot, we forgot to let him out... be right back!
(Mike leaves the theater)
As soon as she finished the boomer entered the room. "Are we
all wet?" she asked in its sugary voice. "Did we wet our
little diapers?"
Joel <Nene>: Actually, they're big diapers. And they just
got bigger. Ahh.
Tom <boomer>: Can I possibly be any more patronizing?
Joel <Nene>: Only if you said your name was Fred Rogers.
That it proved Nene's theory about the boomer knowing she
was not a baby but treating her like one was cold comfort at
best.
Joel: The boomer must have dropped some ice cubes in her
diaper..
Tom: How did it prove it again?
Joel: Circumstanial evidence and lots of it!
Tom: I have three words for you. Shoot. Me. Now.
Joel: Here's three more: Shoot. Me. Too.
The boomer unbuttoned the bottom of the rompers and began
the unsnap the diaper cover. Nene tried to kick the boomer,
bringing her foot back and launching it at the boomer's
face. The boomer caught it with an off handed movement, even
as it was reaching for a carton of baby wipes.
(Mike reenters the theater and takes the third seat from the
right. Crow is right behind him, still wearing the wig and
baby bonnet, and sits in the far right seat.)
Crow: Thanks for leaving me out there!
Mike: Would you much rather be in here?
Joel <boomer>: Sure, I'm made of steel and Nene's foot
couldn't possibly damage me, but I'll humor her....
Tom: You mean the boomer is stronger and faster and so much
better in all ways than her? I'd have
_never_ imagined...
It then smiled at Nene and tickled its fingers down Nene's
leg and returned to its work.
Crow <boomer>: Well, it's been fun but it's back to the salt
mines for me! Call me sometime! Bye!
Tom <boomer>: Hmm, now what's a four letter word for
"margarine"...
Once it had the cover then the diaper off it quickly and
thoroughly cleaned Nene up. Beaten, for the time, Nene could
only lay there and cry, wondering why this was happening to
her.
Tom <author>: Hmm.. I got diaper fetish, restraints, bondage,
feces, golden showers... what do i need now? Oh yeah!
Tickling!
The boomer smiled and began smoothing a cream into her skin,
lifting her bottom up to cover her buttocks with the cream.
Then it put a fresh diaper under her and lowered her onto
it.
Mike: Intense... diapering... action!
Joel <Nene>: Wait a minute, this isn't moisturizer, this is
MAYONNAISE!
Tom <boomer>: Okay... a little to the left. Now a little to
the right. Up! Right there! Let her go!
Crow: 'Cold', 'wet', 'cool'... Do you notice a pattern here?
In a short time the diaper was tapped on, the diaper cover
in place and the rompers closed up again.
Crow <boomer>: Mind the tacks in your diaper, dear.
Joel: Was it...
*gasp*... with snaps?!
"There we go," the boomer said as she freed Nene's hands.
"All clean and dry." Then she closed up the crib and left
Nene alone.
Tom <Nene, singing>: Alone again... nat-ral-ly.
Nene lay in the crib and cried herself to sleep.
Joel: This is very educative, dontcha think? I mean, thanks
to this fic I know how to change diapers, forcibly feed an
adult, and so many other useful perversions!
Crow <Nene>: She... she didn't read me a bedtime story!
Waaahh!
Nene was not sure what time it was when she woke up.
There was some light coming through the curtains, but that
told her nothing, other than the sun was up.
Crow: Or a passing helecopter pilot with a passion for
peeping.
Mike <Eye in the Sky>: Yes! I knew traffic duty would pay
off! Hand me the telescope!
She had woken to a pressure on her bladder. She shifted
around, as if to get out of bed, then her feet rapped up
against the bars of the crib.
Tom: Wow, no mention of a diaper yet? I'm shocked!
Crow: Nene's Babysitter! With special guest-star Ol' Dirty
Feet!
It all came back in a flash to Nene. She had been hoping it
was some kind of bad dream, but the hard reality of it had
just hurt her feet.
Joel: Not to mention giving us headaches.
Mike <Nene>: Oh Priss, quit playing around! Oh yeah, it's
the boomer this time...
Again, futilely she pulled at the bars, trying to open them.
Crow: Hey guys, willing to chip in for a cutting torch for
Nene by now?
Joel: Hell, we should run a telethon.
Tom <Nene>: I
*knew* I shouldn't have refused that Gamma Ray
treatment! I could be green and free right now. dammit!
Then she held off for as long as possible. She knew that the
end was inevitable, but she wanted to hold out for as long
as she could. At least she could exercise that much control
over her body.
Crow <author>: Wanna bet?! By the power of my keyboard, I
force you to pee freely!
Mike <Nene>: Nooooooo!
Joel: Nene, Zen Buddhist master of "holding it in".
Finally she could hold it no longer, and her diaper began to
fill with urine, growing soggy and warm next to her skin.
Tom: Ah, good. I was worried the author had tired of
mentioning diapers.
Joel: You can almost FEEL the emotion! You can FEEL the
atmosphere! You can FEEL the conflict!
Mike: Ehh, it just makes me want to go to the bathroom too.
As soon as she finished the door opened and the boomer,
walked in. It was kind of funny Nene thought as she cried
softly,
Joel: Laugh, even though you're crying inside...
Tom <singing>: Tears of a clown...
Mike: Hey guys, anyone feel the least bit of levity from this
scene?
Crow: What a wide range of emotion... She laughed! She
cried! She wet herself!
the assassin boomer was using its rather impressive sensor
suite to check on the state of her diapers.
Mike: The boomer amused itself for hours drawing pink cabbits
all over it.
Tom: I know somewhere in Genom tower someone is saying,
'Twenty billion dollars in this state-of-the-art
surveillance gear and she's using it to check diapers...'
Crow: I don't get it, she wet her diaper, she was powdered,
what's left to do? Burp her?
Joel: No, the basting and preheating of the oven.
The boomer opened the crib up, but instead of starting the
change Nene, she picked her up and carried her from the
room.
Mike <boomer>: Let me take you away from all this....
Joel <Nene>: Oh, Thank you! Thank you!
It did not take long for Nene to realise where they were
going. Into the bathing room the Boomer carried her, setting
her down gently on a padded, plastic mat.
Crow: She's committing Nene!
Tom: Either that or training her to be an amataur wrestler.
Mike <boomer>: Now this is a headlock...
Joel: The "bathing" room? Nene's got a large apartment if
she's got a bathroom
*and* a bathing room...
She undressed Nene, finally taking the wet diaper off. She
then, much to Nene's surprise, removed the pacifier.
Joel <Nene>: About time.
*fffFFFFFF*... AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Tom: And in the furthest reaches of space, you could faintly
hear the primal scream of a young woman and the screeching
of a boomer.
While looking Nene in the eyes, she placed the pacifier
close by. The message was clear to Nene who did not say
anything or cry for help.
Tom: Why ruin a great situation with actual STRUGGLE?
Mike: The boomer even printed the message out on its hard-
copy output to make sure everything was completely
understood.
Joel: How can you cry for help without saying anything?
The boomer began to bathe her, making sure every bit of skin
was as clean. Nene blushed at the boomer's hands went to
some fairly intimate areas, making sure she was clean there
as well.
Crow <Nene>: Hey! Hey hey hey! You're not supposed to do
that to a BABY!
Mike: Anyone get the idea that they should manufacture these
sorts of boomers for the hospice business?
She even produced a tooth brush and brushed Nene's teeth.
Joel <Nene>: What about my Listerine?
Tom <boomer>: And... spit!
Mike: Y'know, it probably would have worked better with some
toothpaste.
When it was all done Nene was dried off and carried back
into the nursery. She was lain onto the crib mattress and a
new diaper was placed under her.
Tom: Did the boomer perform some serial experiments on her or
what?
Mike: A fetish is a fetish... but this is just plan dull.
Joel: And lo dist thine boomer lain Nene down!
The boomer then applied cream to her diaper area after which
she sprinkled powder all over her, gently rubbing it into
her skin. That done the diaper was pulled up between her
legs and fastened.
Tom: Come on, try to deny that the boomer was using meat
tenderizer!
Joel: I bet the author gets money every time he mentions
'diaper'. It's the only way it makes sense!
Crow: Just be glad we haven't read anything about diaper rash
The boomer put her into a different diaper cover, a soft
pink with frills along the leg openings.
Crow: Wonder how much of a market adult diaper covers have
anyway.
Mike: Gee, this fanfic changed my life! To think I didn't
know anything about diapers, and diaper covers, and snaps,
and creams before reading it. That wasn't life, man!
She then put a matching dress on Nene. So attired, Nene was
carried out, into the kitchen, for breakfast.
Tom: I KNEW IT! She's gonna be cooked!
Joel: So all the milk it fed her was intended to get her fat?
At least there was not a highchair, Nene thought at she was
put into a normal, kitchen chair. The boomer started off
with a baby bottle full of water, then another full of milk.
Tom: Is it... Boomer Milk?
Joel: Then the boomer grabbed three more bottles, filling
them with screwdrivers, fuzzy navels, and R&Cs
After that it was baby food, spoon fed to a blushing Nene.
Then there was a last bottle of water and breakfast, and the
ordeal of it was over.
Crow: Man, the boomer just WANTS Nene to get wet diapers, eh?
Mike: Then... it was LUNCHTIME. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
After that it was playtime.
Tom <Nene>: Wow, this "Waiting for Godot" really is dull.
While sitting on the boomers lap, having a storybook read to
her, Nene thought that the boomer might indeed make a very
good caretaker to a small child.
Tom: Yeah, sign her up for Polka Dot Door and let's watch
Dennis sweat.
Joel: Ah, Polkaroo would kick it's ass, no sweat.
Nene's Baby Sitter part 2
A Bubble Gum Crisis Story
by Incognito Himitsu
Based on Characters and Situations owned by Artmic and used
without permission.
Crow: No wonder the author chose to remain Incognito....
Joel <Artmic>: Sure thing! Remember to wash them when you're
done!
Nene was not sure what time it was when she woke up.
There was some light coming through the curtains, but that
told her nothing, other than the sun was up.
Mike: Or that the streetlights were on. Or Priss was holding
a rooftop concert and the spotlights were unfocused. Or the
ADP was trying to take care of another boomer by exploding
the rest of Neo-Tokyo
Crow: Or a nice big H-Bomb was ignited and she was moments
from being incinerated.
Tom: Or that she was going to that white light in the sky.
Joel <Nene>: Get me! I'm Norman Greenbaum!
She had woken to a pressure on her bladder. She shifted
around, as if to get out of bed, then her feet rapped up
against the bars of the crib.
Tom: Foot rap, hip-hop for those with fetishes...
Crow: Or athlete's foot.
Mike: Her feet were immediately shot by the East Coast posse
as a preventive measure.
Joel: [ominously] Her feet made a rapping sound, rapping on my
chamber door, said the boomer, nevermore.
It all came back in a flash to Nene. She had been hoping it
was some kind of bad dream, but the hard reality of it had
just hurt her feet.
Crow <Nene>: Oh my god, I can like get killed if I go out in
a hardsuit. Like what am I doing?
Again, futilely she pulled at the bars, trying to open them.
Then she held off for as long as possible.
Mike: After years of denial, Nene finally admitted her
drinking problem and vowed to stay away from the bars....
Crow <Nene>: I must have my Jack Daniels! Or at least some
Smirnoff! OPEN UP, YOU BARS!!
She knew that the end was inevitable, but she wanted to hold
out for as long as she could. At least she could exercise
that much control over her body.
Mike: She, like us, just wants to give the boomer a good
"bii-dah", but can't get up the strength.
Tom <Nene>: Must... open... bottle... with... thighs....
Joel <Nene>: Urge to escape... rising... NO! Must resist...
Must do... nothing... must... sit on... my... ass....
Crow <TV>: Up next...The Tony Awards featuring Whoopi
Goldberg!
Joel <Nene>: Urge to escape...rising...
Finally she could hold it no longer, and her diaper began to
fill with urine, growing soggy and warm next to her skin.
Joel: They should've filled the diaper with Chex! They never
get soggy!
Mike <Nene>: Now. I'm. PISSED!
Crow: Literally.
As soon as she finished the door opened and the boomer,
walked in.
Crow: Kramer!
Tom: Boomer, James Boomer.
Joel: At this rate, I picture the boomer as Jm. J. Bullock.
It was kind of funny Nene thought as she cried softly, the
assassin boomer was using its rather impressive sensor suite
to check on the state of her diapers.
Mike <boomer>: I got nothing else do to in this farce.
Crow: [singing] Laugh, though you may cry inside...
Tom <Nene>: If only... I could access... WinME on the
boomer...
The boomer opened the crib up, but instead of starting
the change Nene, she picked her up and carried her from the
room.
Joel <Nene>: Hey, I didn't know this was 'Raising Arizona'!
Crow <boomer>: Just because I have a diaper fetish doesn't
mean I change them!
Tom: ...to run Nene up by her diapers on the nearest
flagpole!
It did not take long for Nene to realise where they were
going.
Mike: Straight to hell?
Joel: Straight to New Jersey?
Tom: Little did Nene know, she and the boomer were going to
go see the new assassin bot... the Belldandy X210 Sexaroid.
Crow <boomer>: We're taking this on the road! Think of it!
A different diaper change in every city! We'll make
millions!
Tom: ... of people retch.
Into the bathing room the Boomer carried her, setting her
down gently on a padded, plastic mat. She undressed Nene,
finally taking the wet diaper off.
Mike <boomer>: Gack! The smell, oh, Lord, the SMELL!
Joel <Nene>: Revenge of the babysat!
She then, much to Nene's surprise, removed the pacifier.
While looking Nene in the eyes, she placed the pacifier
close by. The message was clear to Nene who did not say
anything or cry for help.
Tom: Why add conflict to a plot contrivance that's moving
along so smoothly?
Crow <author>: Don't rock the boat, I always say...
The boomer began to bathe her, making sure every bit of skin
was as clean. Nene blushed at the boomer's hands went to
some fairly intimate areas, making sure she was clean there
as well.
Tom <Nene>: Eep!
Mike <boomer>: So clean, she squeaks!
She even produced a tooth brush and brushed Nene's teeth.
Crow: Yeah, but can the toothbrush act?
Mike: Can it clean the hard to get areas?
Joel: I dunno, Mike. That's quite a reach...
Mike <Ed McMahon>: Heyyo!
When it was all done Nene was dried off and carried back
into the nursery. She was lain onto the crib mattress and a
new diaper was placed under her.
Joel <Nene>: Don't worry, next time I'll be sure to fill it
with something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT just for you....
Tom: Cherry filling.
Crow: Or peach.
The boomer then applied cream to her diaper area after which
she sprinkled powder all over her, gently rubbing it into
her skin.
Mike <Nene>: That's corn starch! CORN STARCH!
Crow <Nene>: Waitaminute... this is flour!
Tom: And now from the guy that brought you the first part,
more of the same!
Joel <boomer>: Now, how to properly prepare a hundred pound
ADP dispatcher...
That done the diaper was pulled up between her legs and
fastened.
Crow: This time with baling wire and duct tape.
Joel <boomer>: Duct tape, is there anything it can't do?
Tom: Why, match the sheer adhesive power of SNAPS!
Mike <Nene>: Owwwwie! Haven't you done ENOUGH, you brute! A
diaper wedgie is going too far!
The boomer put her into a different diaper cover, a soft
pink with frills along the leg openings. She then put a
matching dress on Nene.
Tom <boomer>: There! All dressed up for first communion!
The boomer put her into a different diaper cover, a soft
pink with frills along the leg openings. She then put a
matching dress on Nene.
Mike <Nene>: Baby fashions in MY size? Japan is SICK!
Tom: Straight from the Sesame Street collection!
Joel <boomer>: Lessee... you're Big Bird-sized!
Crow <Nene>: I got Elmo on my ass!
So attired, Nene was carried out, into the kitchen, for
breakfast.
Tom <Kasumi>: Oh my! Father, it appears we have guests!
Crow: She WAS powdered in flour!
Mike <Nene>: Why's the oven preheated? Hmm?
Joel <boomer>: YOU ARE THE OTHER, OTHER WHITE MEAT.
At least there was not a highchair, Nene thought at she was
put into a normal, kitchen chair. The boomer started off
with a baby bottle full of water, then another full of milk.
Joel: And then another full of Mobil 10W30.
Mike: Then the boomer went to town with baby bottles of
Cherry Coke, single-malt, and battery acid.
After that it was baby food, spoon fed to a blushing Nene.
Then there was a last bottle of water and breakfast, and the
ordeal of it was over.
Crow: The horror of Breakfest?
Mike: Coulda fooled us. So far it's been going and going and
going...
After that it was playtime.
Tom <Nene>: I call Flintstones phone!
Joel <boomer>: We'll start with Henry V and work our way up
to Macbeth!
While sitting on the boomers lap, having a storybook read to
her, Nene thought that the boomer might indeed make a very
good caretaker to a small child.
Crow: Or maybe a good undertaker to a small child...
Mike <boomer>: Now let me tell you a tale of when the good
company Genom and its honorable boomers fought the Evil
Knight Sabers...
Joel: Of course, thinking of ESCAPE might be a better
option...
She was very efficient in her job and had infinite patience.
Tom: The readers, on the other hand....
Joel: Amen.
Of course while that might be true, Nene hated the thing for
what it had done to her.
Crow <mock horror>: NOOOOOOOO!
Joel <Nene>: I can't BELIEVE it didn't burp me after
breakfast! I'm outraged!
Mike <boomer>: Y-You mean you DON'T want me to treat you like
this? Why didn't you just say so?
Through the day she thought of a hundred ways she might get
away, might shut down to the boomer, but nothing really
worked.
Tom <Nene>: Activate voice commands. Format asterisk dot
asterisk.
Crow <boomer>: Sorry, I'm protected by DOSShell.
Tom <Nene>: But that's completely implausible!
Crow <boomer>: You expected less?
Tom <Nene>: Damn it, my master hacker skills are no match for
a plain-jane boomer...
When the boomer put her into the playpen for a nap before
lunch, Nene tried to sneak out but no sooner did she begin
getting to her feet the boomer looked out of the kitchen at
Nene.
Joel <Nene>: Look, you pile of non-commissioned military
metal, my knees are sore! I need a stretch!
Mike: Go for it! Go down fighting! Better to die on your
feet than piss in a playpen!
She then looked at the pacifier and padded straps that lay
close by. Nene took the hint and lay back down in the
playpen.
Crow <Nene>: Umm, can I at least have a lifeline? I'd like
to call a friend... SYLIA, HELP!
Tom <author>: In case you were wondering...I crossed Nene
over with Shinji Ikari, just so she can be spineless enough
to put up with this crap!
She looked at the smiling teddy bear that was in there with
it. She punched it hard.
Crow: Pooh, NO!
Joel <Garfield>: Hey, get your own Pookie!
Mike <bear>: What the heck am I, a Ranma plushie?
"Stupid bear," she muttered.
Joel: It's the anti-Yogi.
Tom <bear>: I beg to differ, I ain't the one in diapers.
Crow <bear>: I'm just as much a victim as you and the
readers.
After lunch Nene knew she had a new problem. She had to pee,
but that was only part of the problem. I will not have a
bowel movement in these diapers, Nene told herself.
Crow: And then, to make matters worse, the boomer came in
with some scrambled eggs and stewed prunes.
This time I will not give in. She sat on the floor, watching
children's programming that the boomer had put on, telling
herself she was not going to soil the diaper.
Joel: Until the first few telling bars of "I love you, you
love me" wafted through the air.
Tom <Nene>: How can I possibly control my bowels with Barney
on the television?
She lasted almost an hour, and then finally gave in.
Mike: Quitter!
Crow: Coincidentally, it was during Jerry Springer.
Joel: Let's take a look at that in super slow motion!
Crow: Uggh, let's not and say we did, please?
It took her a few minutes to actually do it. She ended up
squatting on the floor, pretending she was using the toilet.
Tom: Does that mean she staked out a piece of the bottom
land?
Joel <Howard Cosell>: Well...as you can see Nene has indeed
taken a movement of the bowels...one that hasn't been seen
since of Alex of Macedonia...
It came quickly then and at the same time her bladder
emptied. The mixture felt horrible to her and she began
crying.
Mike: Um, why is she
*feeling* it?
Tom: For the record, this fanfic has nothing wrong with it...
that judicious use of the Delete key can't fix.
Almost instantly she was scooped up by the boomer who was
very reassuring, in an adult to baby way, as she carried
Nene into the nursery.
Joel: To start this whole vicious cycle yet again.
Crow <author>: And now, for your reading displeasure, I will
take ten paragraphs to show a boomer wiping Nene's butt!
Tom <boomer>: Obey me or the Fisher-Price collection gets it!
She lay Nene down, holding her bottom up so it would not
squish the mess there, and quickly removed the diaper cover
then the diaper.
Mike: The resulting stench fouled up the boomer's sensor
suite, and it began to field-strip Nene.
Joel <Nene>: Ouch! That arm's not reconnectable, you know!
Crow <boomer>: Hmmmm, been eating your greens, I see....
Tom <boomer>: Gah... the wallpaper's peeling! Jeez, you
could fertilize IDAHO with that load!
Crow: The defiant load.
Once they were off the boomer cleaned her up and got her
into a new diaper.
Crow: And THIS one had purple ruffles, a cotton leak-guard,
AND glow-in-the-dark Disney Babies!
Joel <Nene>: I'm step two, you know! Step two!
While it was still a diaper, it was a clean diaper, and Nene
was glad for it. She flushed as she realised that, but she
could not argue it. A clean diaper was much better than a
dirty one.
Joel: Y'know, even a REAL baby would be fed up by this
point....
Mike <Nene>: But NO diaper would be better... hint hint...
Tom <Nene>: And a clean hardsuit is the best of all!
The boomer carried her out on the nursery and sat down in
one of the chairs in the living room. She began rocking Nene
gently in her arms, and she began singing softly.
Crow <boomer, singing>: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto!
Tom <boomer, singing>: Rock-a-bye Nene...
Mike <boomer, singing>: When the bow breaks, the cradle will
fall, and down will come Nene....
Joel <boomer, singing>: Du! Du Hast! Du Hast mich!
Crow <singing>: Sleep my friend and you will see, the dream
is my reality... San-a-tarium!
Nene had stopped crying earlier and was now beginning to
feel almost happy. The soft singing, the gentle rocking, the
feeling of bulk between her legs, it all seemed to be taking
her back to a simpler time.
Crow: The first part of this story, as a matter of fact.
Tom: No. Just... no.
Mike: Oh, COME ON! The author can't POSSIBLY expect us to
buy this!
Joel: Mike, the author couldn't even GIVE this away.
She almost felt as if she could go on forever like that.
She could not though. For a number of reasons.
Crow <Jim Carrey>: Like trying to escape... MAYBE!?!
Tom: So, does anyone know where the other Knight Sabers are
right now?
Mike: Seeing which one of them can pick up Daley Wong first?
Tom <Priss>: Feh, I'll wait till 2040 when he actually picks
up a fashion sense!
It was time to try one of her plans.
"Status," Nene said softly.
Mike <boomer>: You are wearing your third diaper, you have
soiled yourself twice, and you are my bitch.
Crow <boomer>: 9998 HP and 999 MP.
Joel <boomer>: Status? Uh, I'm not Majel Barrett-
Roddenberry, y'know?
The boomer stopped singing, and stopped rocking her as it
paused. "Overall functioning at ninety percent," she said,
then paused again.
Joel <Nene>: Hmm, insane killer robot or babysitting
Nanny...I'll take my chances with the killer!
Tom <Nene>: Activate self-destruct sequence.
Crow <boomer>: Self-destruct sequence activ... hey! I'm not
falling for that again!
Tom <Nene>: Shit! Even in the future, nothing works!
"Core programs completely integrated." It then reached over
to where the pacifier was.
Tom <Nene>: Damn auto-installer...A pox upon thee!
Mike <boomer>: Must.. suck... pacifier...
Joel <boomer>: I wish I had a smoke, guess this'll have to
do....
Nene almost panicked, but kept her cool. "New orders,"
Nene said.
The boomer paused. "Unable to accept orders from child,"
the boomer said, then grabbed the pacifier and moved it
towards Nene's mouth.
Crow <Nene>: New fanfic!
Mike <boomer>: That I can do. In this fic I'll be an elderly
care worker, who has to take care of you and place you in a
diaper daily...
Crow <Nene>: ......
"I am not a child needing this care," Nene said.
The boomer paused again, the pacifier a few centimetres
from Nene's mouth.
Tom: And it only took us one and half chapters to get to this
point!
Crow <boomer>: Okay. Then I must eliminate you.
Mike <Nene>: Goo goo?
"I am not a child needing this care," Nene said again.
"You are in error."
Joel <Nene>: You are imperfect! You must destroy yourself!
Crow <boomer>: I am Nomad?
Joel <Nene>: Yeah, ain't it cool?
Crow <boomer>: Sterilize! STEEERRRIIIILLLIIIZEEE!!!
After several seconds the boomer placed the pacifier on
the table. "This charge is not an eleventh month old child.
Current method of care giving is in error," it said.
Crow <boomer>: Suitable age level, teenage...Recommended
method of handling... turning over credit card and car keys.
Mike <Nene>: Sweeeet!
Joel: Until Jack Elam comes to town.
Yes, Nene thought to herself. She had won.
Crow <Nene>: It's about bloody time, too!
Joel: I dunno, I've got a bad feeling this isn't over yet....
Mike <boomer>: Okay, now you be the mother and I am the baby!
WAAAH! WAAAH! I need my diaper changed! Feed me! Give me
burpies! Put me in my Johnny Jumper!
Nene, Naoko, and another woman from the communications
sections were the last ones to leave the restaurant. Nene
finished her sake and put the glass down as she pushed her
feet into her shoes.
Joel: Uhh, later that day in a entirely different place!
Crow: And now for something completly different, a
unannounced scene change!
Mike <author>: Scene changes are for wimps!
Tom: Look, guys... would you rather be in that LAST scene, or
this one? Hmmm?
Joel: Good point, and well made.
"See you tomorrow," Naoko called as she led the other
young woman from the restaurant. She had had way too much to
drink.
Tom <Naoko>: Those hemlock shooters... whew!
Crow <Nene>: Can't sleep, nanna boomer will kill me...Can't
sleep, Nanna boomer will kill me...
Nene waved goodbye to her, then leaned over to tie up her
shoes.
She got to her feet, swaying a little, she had also had a
little too much to drink, and set out of the restaurant.
Tom: Drunk Nene attempting self-bondage. THAT'S new...
Mike: Is this life imitating art or what here?
Crow <Nene>: Yessh, I'm dunk! Oh gawd, leff me alawn!
Joel: Of course she promptly fell over but what can you
expect from a drunken Nene?
Tom: [singing] What can you do with a drunken Nene, drunken
Nene, drunken Nene... What can you do with a drunken Nene-e-
e-e... early in the mor-ning?
Not long afterwards she was sitting on a train, near
sleep, as it sped her back towards home.
Crow <overhead voice>: And in the weather tomorrow... the
forecast calls for a seventy-percent chance of hilarity!
Joel <Nene>: I like those odds!
Tom: This isn't 2040 Nene or Red Haired Nene, It's Zombie
Nene!
All in all things had gone fairly well. She had retrieved
the information that Sylia required, and had made sure that
no one missed the boomer assassin that had gone missing from
the evidence vaults. She was in the clear. Life was good.
Crow: Not until this fic ends, little one.
Mike: As a matter of fact, life was so good the next sentence
reads, "The End".
Tom: Keep trying.
Joel: Oh, why even deny it? Cut to Nene's apartment, and
WOW, the boomer's there ready to resume taking care of Nene,
and GEE, it's such a big surprise and...
She was brought out of her self congratulatory mood by a
computer generated voice telling her that the train was
about to pull into her station. Nene got to her feet,
shuffled to the door, and waited for the train to come to a
stop.
Tom: [singing] Yessssss, sir! Yesssssss, sir!
Mike: Nene's done a lot of soft-shoe practicing lately,
hasn't she?
Once it did she stepped out, onto the platform. After the
air-conditioned interior the humid, outside air hit her like
a wall.
Joel: Then she realized it was a wall, as she was facing the
wrong way again.
Crow <Nene>: Night. Twenty-hundred hours. I heard a
scream... it was me. Again.
Tom <Nene>: Oww, damn it, why can't all the stops be on the
same side?!
Nene pushed forward, heading down the stairs towards the
exit. She turned on her way out, walking into the ladies
room.
Mike <Nene>: WHose idea was it to put the bathrooms OUTSIDE
the train station?!
Crow: Man, this author films EVERYTHING!
Joel <author>: It'll all be on the special edition DVD, with
over 30 hours of diaper changing action cut from the
orginal!
Tom <author V.O.>: Yes, and this is the diaper changing
scene, I liked that one... and here, another diaper change,
I was very fond of that angle....
She stepped inside one of the stalls, closed the door, and
hung her backpack on the hook inside the door.
Tom <author>: Supplies are... not getting sold.
Crow: INTENSE... PADDING... ACTION!
Joel: I thought the padding action was the diaper scenes.
Crow: Well...
Mike <Nene>: Ohh, for a good time I can call S at...Hey, this
is the Silky Doll number!
She pulled her skirt up, then pushed her panties down her
legs. Squatting over the toilet, she relieved herself,
letting out a small sigh.
Joel <author>: ANOTHER piss scene! I ROCK!
Crow: Don't they have videos dedicated to this sort of thing?
Mike: I think it's going to become part of the X-games next
year...
She pushed the panties all the way down her legs so the
bundled at her ankles. Carefully, putting a hand on the door
for balance, she took one foot out of her shoe, balancing on
the other foot.
Mike <Nene>: I am... a tree! See me germinate from a tiny
seedling into a strong cedar!
Tom: Geez, Nene, if you're THAT backed up, eat some prunes or
something!
She reached down and slid the panties off that foot. She
repeated the procedure with the other foot and had the
panties completely off.
Joel: She then twirled them on her finger, and tossed them to
the crowd.
Mike: Any other fic and I might be turned on right now,
but....
Tom <Nene>: Good thing these are edible panties, I could use
a snack...
Nene shook them out, looking at the lacy white panties.
Inside the waistband was a Silkydoll label, where all her
big girl panties came from.
Tom <Nene>: Hey, they're orthopedic, give me a break!
Nene giggled softly as she thought that, then she folded the
panties up, opened her backpack and put them into it.
From another pocket in the pack she removed another set
of panties.
Crow: She's carrying her bureau on her back?
Tom <Nene>: I'm sick of red tropical heat, I think I'll try
white satin for a change.
Crow <Nene>: And it's all thanks to Panties in a can!
Joel: Well, it beats the hell out of reading about diapers.
There were white as well, but more of a brief style, and
instead of being sheer silk they were a thick cotton. They
were also decorated with an anime print.
Tom: What will they NOT do to market Gundam Wing?
Mike <Nene>: I always wanted to get Sailor Jupiter down
here...
Tom <Nene>: I just couldn't say no to the Dr. Slump
print...They even have Arale-chan running around with Poo on
a stick!
Crow: [shaking head] Man, you guys are horrible.
Joel: Anime. Giving you quality Japanese-produced cartoons
and panties for over fifty years!
Reversing the procedure she had used to take her other
panties off, she put those on.
Joel: Hey, the author's learned how to reverse film! Bravo!
Then she took off her jacket, hung it over the pack, and
removed her blouse. After folding it up and placing it in
the pack she removed another blouse.
Tom: Is the author hoping to get a ringing endorsement from
Happosai or what?
Mike <Happosai>: SWEET-O!
Crow: No one will be admitted during the breathtaking
CHANGING scene!
Joel: Meanwhile, there's a half-dozen irate women all waiting
to get into this bathroom stall...
Crow <woman>: What's taking so damn long in there?!
Joel <Nene>: Uhh, I'm changing into Superman?
This one was pink, with a Peter Pan collar. Around the
collar and the cuffs were white lace.
Crow: To complete the outfit, Nene grabbed a pair of green
tights and a feathered cap.
Mike <Nene>: Now to find some lost boys! Heh heh heh...
She put it on and tucked the tails into her dark green
skirt. The skirt stayed.
Joel <Nene>: Obedience school worked wonders for my clothes!
Tom: The tails, however, continued to smile at passerbys....
Mike: Nene has not one, but two tails! Vegeta is insanely
jealous.
While their were animals sewn around the hem, the thread was
almost the same colour as the skirt so hardly anyone ever
noticed them.
Tom, Crow <animals>: Such are the lives of bit players...
Joel <passerby>: Is that a water buffalo on your skirt, or
are you happy to see me?
Mike <Nene, singing>: Animal crackers in my soup, zebras and
elephants loop de loop...
Properly attired she put her jacket back on, pulled the pack
over her shoulder, and left the stall then the bathroom.
Crow ...only to be confronted by an angry mob of squirming
women who immediately trampled her to death.
Joel: Hey! Nene! You have a piece of toilet paper stuck to
your shoe!
As she walked towards her apartment she considered where she
had made her mistake. It had been in still referring to
herself as a child, not thinking about the children that had
been part of the family the domestic boomer had served.
Joel <boomer>:
*sigh* Geoffrey told me they're be days like
this....
Tom: The boomer had served the children the way it had tried
to serve Nene in the kitchen.
Mike: Ah, the W.C Fields method to child care.
If she was not the eleven month old baby, then she must be
the other one. A the six year old daughter.
Tom <Nene>: Just wait 'till I hit puberty! You'll see!
Crow: Yeah, I could see how you could mistake an 11 month old
baby for a six year old... huh?!?
Mike: Genom at its finest.
When Nene opened the door to her apartment the boomer,
her nanny, was waiting for her.
Joel <Nene>: Hey now! Why aren't you wearing the green
striped socks I bought for you!?
Mike <boomer>: Now Nene, DON'T trip over the ottoman today!
Four months in a row is bad enough!
"How was school," her nanny asked. It always asked that,
Nene could be gone for a few days and it would still ask her
that. It had pigeonholed her and that was that.
Mike: Yep, that was that. Why bother trying to fry its power
source, or reprogramming it, or even holding a frigging
magnet to its memory source, or PUTTING ON YOUR FRIGGING
HARDSUIT?!?
*pant, pant*.
"Fine," Nene said as she placed her backpack on the floor.
"Come along," nanny said, taking Nene's hand and leading
her towards the bathing room.
Tom <boomer>: You've got a toilet to scrub, young lady!
Joel <Nene>: Wash this! Scrub that! Mend this! Fix that!
What am I, Cindernene?
She undressed Nene and then washed her. As Nene sat on the
stool, allowing her nanny to scrub her back, she decided
things weren't so bad.
Crow <Nene>: I have an insane boomer in the house with a
distinct possibility of it going rogue... yes, life is
grand!
Tom <Nene>: When the boomer tries to diaper my head, then
I'll become concerned.
Mike <Nene>: Remember kids! Even thought it may seem like
harmless fun at first, fooling around with boomers is NOT
COOL and can be VERY DANGEROUS! What happened to me could
happen to ANYBODY, so be careful! Knight Saber Nene says!
<giggles>
After that was over her nanny dried her off and carried
her to her room. The nursery remained, for the baby that
that boomer knew existed, but Nene was not taken in there.
Crow <boomer>: Now, where did I leave that darn baby? I was
microwaving the bottle and changing the infant... oh bloody
hell..
Joel <Nene>: Quickly now, take me to the most expensive suite
in Tokyo! Baby deserves nothing but the best!
She was taken into her own room, which was as she had always
had it. Obviously her nanny considered it childish enough.
Nene was a little insulted by that.
Mike: Look, it AIN'T the nursery. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.
Tom <Nene>: I can let the Care Bears slide but a plastic tea
set?
The boomer lay her down on the bed and began to dress her
for bed. It started with diapers.
Joel: It starts with diapers, it ends with diapers, and it's
diapers all the way through.
Crow: A truly pampered Nene.
Tom <author>: Lessee... DIAPERS! The readers won't see THIS
one coming! BWAHAHAHA!
The six year old must have been a bed wetter.
Mike: And so, in the year 2032, it is acceptible for parents
to denegrate children by making them wear diapers to bed?
Joel: Or is it just a mad boomer fetish?
Mike: I'd agree with "fetish", and I'd even throw in for
"mad"...
Crow: Stop bed wetting! Make sure YOUR roof is weather-
sealed every three years or three thousand miles!
It did not matter that Nene was not one, every night she was
diapered for bed time. The boomer then put her pyjamas on
before tucking Nene in.
Crow: I didn't know boomers wore pyjamas.
Tom <announcer>: And these runway fashions are the latest
from Frederick's of Genom... boomer lingerie!
Mike <Nene>: Why the author didn't make it this simple in
part one, I'll never know....
Crow: Why the author didn't STOP in part one, I'll never
know.
As Nene lay in her bed, the diapers, which had become a
pleasant thing, rustling ever so slightly,
Joel <Nene>: Screw lace panties, I want HUGGIES!
Mike: Nene! Don't be enticed by the dark side! Remember,
there's NO NEED FOR DIAPERS! Unless, of course, you're as
old as Quincy...
Tom: Diaper Muyo? DON'T give this guy anymore ideas...
she thought about shutting the boomer down. It was time she
did something about it.
Tom: Like calling the Knight Sabers?
Joel: Tossing it into the crusher?
Crow: I favor a stump grinder personally.
Mike: Hell, even the ADP would do! Well... maybe not...
Crow: So she took it to the dump and buried it. Many years
later, it was unearthed by a old codger and repackaged....
Joel <boomer>: How'ya doing Mistah J?
And then, as nanny began to read her a story, she realised
that she would find some reason to put it off. She snuggled
deep into her covers and was soon asleep.
Tom <boomer>: Finally! I thought she'd never drop off! Time
to call the ladies, it's BINGO NIGHT!
Crow <boomer>: With Nene asleep, I can crack open a quart of
Quaker State and watch the Appliance Channel! Yeah, BABY!
The End
All: WOO-HOO!
Joel: Sweeter words were never spoken!
Tom: Two little words, two wonderful, wonderful words....
Crow: And as for a response... There were so many different
contrivances that all seemed to create the plot of this
story. When your believability is hurt like that, especially
in the beginning, it can really take away from the story.
Tom: And the fanfic seemed to hit a repeat in the middle where
Nene was doing the exact same things over and over.
Repetition like that could really hurt reader morale and make
them turn away from the fic.
Mike <boomer>: The End? Do I see a naked rear here? It looks
like you need a diapering too!
All: Don't make us hurt you, Mike!
Mike: Sorry, sorry!
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Crow: Cheat and lie.
Joel: Sob and cry.
Tom: Or, just go to Ebay instead.
Crow: Oog, guys, let's get out of here while we can.
Mike: Diaper lemons...
--Satellite of Love
Joel and Mike were dragging as they left the theater. Of
course, just behind them, Crow T. Robot toddled around and
attempted to break as many things as he could get his hands
on, all the while laughing and carrying on just like an
infant would.
Mike sighed and addressed Joel, "Why don't we just take the
baby bonnet, wig, and diaper off of him?"
"He's probably vaporlocked," Joel replied. "All that would
do is make him madder."
Meanwhile, Crow snuck up on poor Tom Servo. "Hey... HEY!
Get off of me! What do I look like, your Johnny Jumper?" Tom
yelled as Crow leapt right on and held tight.
"Goo!" was the only response Tom received.
Mike shook his head slowly and then looked on the desk.
"Holy... check it out, Joel, we have a letter to read."
Joel grabbed the letter, and held it up for Cambot. "Can
we put that up on still-store? This is from Alan, and he
writes:
"Overall, your MSTing [of Blood of Heroes] was quite good.
You used a good variety of sources, and didn't resort to
cliches. I saw the influence of Megane (in Crow's
characterization and the host segments) and possibly a little
Joseph Nebus. Not everyone can pull that off. If at all
possible, keep working on projects like these.
"A few odd and catty comments...
"'Daffyd and Eowyn'? Sure, most self-insertions have weird
relatives and backgrounds, but this sounds deeply wrong.
Almost an Eyrie Productions sort of improbable.
">Nabiki Tendo Investment Firm (NTIF)
"So the author got funding from a fictional character? Or
maybe it's stretching--really stretching--into a Nuku-Nuku
crossover.
">(Door #3: "The Complete Works of David Eddings"... flame
works well)
"Someday, after I figure out what'll happen to me after
December 2000, I'll read Eddings' books. I need something to
put me to sleep.
"That whole first scene in the story was really weird. I
had no clue what was going on, or any idea what its purpose
was. Did you get anything out of it?
"'The Profound Darkness'? I can't believe the author made a
Phantasy Star IV reference. Or maybe it was just an accident.
"That's it for now. I gotta go on to more productive
things. Y'know, things involving can openers. Thanks for
listening.
"-Alan (rarely called Gekiganwing)"
"WAAAAHHHH!!" Crow cried, still hanging on to Tom's
hoverskirt and sucking on one of Tom's hands. His eyes
slowly turned right, to the paper that Joel was holding in
his hands. With a leap that was positively catlike, Crow
grabbed the paper and started happily tearing it to shreds.
"A-goo! Goo ga gooo!"
"Uhh... thanks a lot for the feedback, Alan, glad you
enjoyed it!" Mike responded.
The red light started flashing. Joel, still looking a bit
shell-shocked, touched it. "You rang, sirs?" he asked.
--Deep Thirteen
"Yes, Lurch, we did! Frank, let's show the Satellite how
mad scientists can help each other!" Dr. F beckoned. "I
present to you, the community, and all poor proles
everywhere..." Frank held up a sign, reading "Shady Acres
Ol'-Folks Home", as Dr. F smiled. "Our new partnership with
Genom! We supply the old folks, they supply the babysitting
boomers, and we all make money! And if Genom is smart, they
put the programming of a nanny boomer on the sensor suite of
an assassin, but hide it in the body of a sexaroid! We'll
make millions from all the old men alone!"
"But sir," Frank protested, "where are we going to find all
these old people outside of 'Cocoon'?"
"Simple, Frank. Tell the AARP that their next meeting will
be held here! Now go push the button while I make the
peanut-butter squares..."
Frank nodded and put the sign down. "As you wish, Dr.
Rosenkreuz..."
--POOF!--
"Oh, and Frank... go get our box of Golden Girls reruns.
That'll get 'em!"
o/~ "Na na na-a-ah, na na, na NA na..."
All comments and criticism about this MST will be gratefully appreciated
and accepted at:
zoogz@yahoo.com
Thus concludes our MSTing broadcast. For this one, I must
thank all of the coauthors listed above, for this was
originally going to be a group project co-MST with host
segments written by both Knight and I. However, that
fell through and I really had to publish this poor thing
since I asked the author in
*FEBRUARY* for this fic. I'm
sorry, Incognito Himitsu, for taking so very long editing and
writing this, but I really hope you and the rest of the
readers appreciate our efforts. And again, thanks to the
assembled talent that stuck with this fic through thick and
thin, they really deserve some kudos.
I especially thank Megane 6.7 and Jack Acid, two friends
who have provided me a needed lift through the last couple
weeks. Look for Jack's new MST, "Bubblegum Pink: Raging
Fires", along with Meg's MST "Raw is Oro", two great MSTs
that can be found on the webpage I maintain for them and
myself:
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
Also be on the lookout for a fair bit of fanart, both from
Jack Acid and myself. When I get to upload it, that is...
Still to be released is the Anime Central live-action
MSTing, which I still have secreted away in a set of floppy
disks and a neat red-cover notebook. I know I've received a
lot of inquiries as to its completion... well folks, with
this group project done I can now officially start it. Look
for this project, a MSTing of the Sailor Moon self-insertion
fic "Battle Royale", along with my latest in-progress solo
work: another MST that I've been working on, "Nyquil DOOM" (a
Gundam Wing yaoi lemon) along with an undisclosed shorty, on
weblists soon.
Special thanks to:
Teachers of America (and the world!)
The Authors of the 1st Amendment
Best Brains
The boomer lay her down on the bed and began to dress her
for bed. It started with diapers. The six year old must have
been a bed wetter.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics...
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