Don,

While _Comes_the_Cold_Dragon_ in general is an excellent, near masterful
work, I do have some points I think you should consider.

In both the Bar Fight, the scene describing the refuge of the Revered
Grandmother, and numerous other "high description" scenes, I can't help but
feel you're getting carried away.  You're getting so focussed on description
that you're losing the general feeling of the scenes.

Now, I'm not the best person to be talking about this.  In fact, I tend to
go the other way, getting so focussed on the feelings I'm trying to invoke
in a scene that I leave far too much of the scene to the imaginations of the
reader.

In other words, if you're trying to tell us about a forest, don't spend
quite so much time on the trees.

Just a bit of C&C.

--
Chris Angel
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