So, was there an actual plot to this, or were you just being sick?

It was originally Akane being raped at the Nekohanten, but there were so
many holes in the story like how four guys would be able to overpower her,
how Mousse would have the ability to arrange for the restaurant to be
emptied, the fact that Cologne would definitely know better than to have
such a thing happen to a popular girl in her place of business...  So, this
is quite a bit better than the original as far as what little plot there is
goes.  It's still really sick, though, as far as the content goes.

As a simple PWP lemon, there are lots of little things that could be changed
to make this better.  Having this happen at school would be one of them,
since it's unlikely that Ukyou would close down her shop in order to have a
girl who's never done her any harm raped.  Also, taking Kasumi out of the
picture completely and just having it be a simple rape motivated by a desire
for revenge would help as well, since it wouldn't require such outrageously
unbelievable actions on Kasumi's part.

Even looking past the plot and the poor subject manner it isn't a
particularly good fic, since the rape itself isn't quite detailed enough to
be good masterbation material.  Also, the one saving grace that is usually
present in rape fics (the few lemons I've read that have rape in them,
anyway, most of which are tentacle-rapes rather than the more ordinary type)
isn't around at all; Nabiki doesn't get even the slightest bit of pleasure
out of her treatment.  It's completely non-consentual and there isn't even
the slightest indication that she is enjoying herself.

Something that would make the story a little bit less jarring and a little
bit more believable would be to have more Japanese names for the rapists,
and adding indications within the fic that they are all boys from her school
that were eager to do this in retaliation for being blackmailed by Nabiki.
Using all English names is just distracting.  Having them be boys from
school would add a little bit of realism (not much) by giving the rapists
more concrete identities and motives, and it would also lower the sympathy
for Nabiki a little bit by making it appear (again, not much) that she
deserves what's happening to her.

So... to sum this up; I'm not saving this and putting it into my folder of
lemon stories.

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