The attentive reader might notice I haven't posted parts 4 and 5.  This is
mainly because they don't exist ;-P

I'm leaving a gap as I'm jumping forward in the timeline for this post and
wanted to reserve the right to fill in the gaps at a later point.

The start of this section occurs a) Approximately manga 4, part 4 and b)
about 2 weeks after 'Training Kuno' side story part 4 (just before part
5).  Practically speaking, Nabiki has passed the 'high' point in her
struggle with Ranran and is on her way down to the calamitous part 5 of
the side story.

During the 'gap' Ranran's relationship with her fellow pupils has
improved significantly in a backlash reaction to her dangerous injury.

I've written Ryoga out of this section - he didn't play a really vital part
and it might have been a bit crowded with Ranran there as well.

Authors notes: Gender issues may get a little confused.  Ranma thinks of
himself as male in this story.  (And Ranran of herself as female) The
gender pronouns I use will vary depending on the viewpoint of the character
in question.  In other words just because I say 'he' doesn't mean 'he' will
be equipped with the typical parts of a man at that moment.

Yet Another Ranma Twin Story - Death and Marriage

9. AN OLD FRIEND CALLS

  Ranran came back to consciousness with a jolt.  *Aaargh!* "Get it off,
get it OFF!!" Ranran cried, frantically ripping the shirt of her
(currently cold, damp and _male_) body.

  Akane woke up from her dazed condition and sat up to see Ranma's sister
stripping.  The source of her discomfort looking like some portable
medieval torture device - metal bars, adjustable joints, straps and
padding.

  Ranma dropped lightly down from his position on top of the lockers,
still wrapped in a thick blanket.  His shorter form and damp hair showing
that, yet again, he had fallen victim to his cold water curse.  "What
sorta idiot are ya, sis?" He asked, as he dropped the blanket to help
Ranran escape her back-brace. "Ya know the doc said ya shouldna change -
how'd it feel with yer back grown half 'n inch in that thing?"

  Somewhere, nearby.  "Ranma, Ranran! Where hide?"

  In the locker-room two cold and damp figures sneeze.  The last thing I
need is to catch a cold Ranran though as she dropped the brace to the
floor and tentatively stretched.  "Thanks for worrying, Ranma, it doesn't
seem to have aggravated my injury.  I don't think I'll need to put it back
from now on, I'm just a little stiff."

  Ranma just shrugged, un-used to anyone noticing his sensitive side.

  "Aren't you going to ask how your fiancee is?" Ranran enquired.

  "Eh, take more than nearly drowning ta slow down that chunk of brute
force.  Still, I shouldn't ha lerra get involved with real martial arts
stuff." Ranma said.

  "She's right behind you, you know," Ranran pointed out.

  Fortunately (perhaps) for all concerned the wall collapsing distracted
Akane sufficiently that Ranma didn't get the metal trolley bed broken over
his head.

  "Ranma," the figure said, "kill."

  "Sha-Shampoo!" Ranma blurted, his pigtail standing up in shock.

  "W-When did Shampoo come to Japan..." Ranma said his voice shaking a
little.

  "Ranma, ki-" Shampoo started, her bonbori spinning down towards her
target - but her speech and action were both interrupted.

  "Stay away from Ranma you bitch!" Ranran said, from her position
protectively covering her brother.

  "Err... Isn't that the wrong way round?" Akane wondered out loud at the
sight of the unskilled male form of Ranran guarding Ranma.  Ranma was,
although she didn't like to consider it, the superior fighter.  Akane
could beat Ranran anytime, well most of the time, well maybe she had been
losing more before Ranran's injury but that was just bad luck.

  Shampoo's eyes narrowed as she glared at her new target, she lowered her
weapon and moved - faster than Ranran could follow - to look up into
Ranran's face from mere centimetres away.  Frozen in fear her victim did
nothing as she stood up on her toes and kissed Ranran full on the lips.
Her voice chill, she spoke three fatal words, "Wo ai ni."

  Shortly afterwards Akane forced open the battered door of the locker,
wondering just what would be revealed.  She noted with some relief that
the pair crammed into there had avoided being crushed by Shampoo's parting
blow.

  "Thanks for distracting her with that blanket," Ranran said gratefully.

  "Just what's between you and her?" Akane asked of the shaking Ranma.

  "Well, erm, it's a bit of a long story ..." Ranma started.

  "Cute girl, wasn't she?" Akane prompted.

  "Idiot! She's trying ta kill me!" Ranma shouted.

  "And ungrammatically," Ranran pointed out - to the annoyance of all
present, "surely that should have been 'Ranma die'?"

  "Why don't you tell me _all_ about it as we head home?" Akane asked.

  "It all started a few months back in China," Ranma started, "Our guide
from the training ground of cursed springs had led us to the village of
Nyuchezu*"

  [* - Spelling?]

  (Flashback: A panda, a short girl, and a tall boy walk with their guide
as he explained what sort of place the village was.  Two figures battled
on a log suspended by ropes a couple of metres above the ground.)

  "And that's we saw long haired and busty the first time," Ranran said.

  (Shampoo blocked the many blows of her opponents mace with ease, then
sent her flying.)

  "She was just finishing da last fight in some tournament while we snacked
on some food left lyn' about," Ranma said, taking back the story.

  (Ranma and Pop stuff their faces, then the guide notices what they are
doing.  Ranran takes in the scene - including huge sign saying 'Prize',
shrugs, and decides to finish the chicken wing anyway.)

  "So after that furry idiot, Pop and Ranma ate the grand prize we were in
a spot of bother."

  "Hey! You ate some too!" Ranma complained.

  (Ranma sits on Shampoo's bonbori, the prize table destroyed behind him,
as the guide translates for them.)

  "I was starving!  Anyway, Ranma comes up with the bright idea that if he
could defeat Shampoo he would be the champion and have the right to his
meal," Ranran continued.

  "And you came up with an even better idea, eh - sis?  Decided that as
it was an amazon village you, as a gal, should be the one to fight," Ranma
elaborated - watching his sister flush in embarrassment at her mistake.
"Odd sorta gal _you_ made."

  "Hey! I don't tease you like that!" Ranran pointed out, prodding
Ranma's chest (flat - again - thanks to an earlier stop for hot water).
"And it isn't as though I lost, technically."

  "Ya sure didna _win_." Ranma pointed out.

  *Sigh* "I thought I'd win pretty easily, when I got up on that log with
her," Ranran said, going over the day in her mind. "A half second into the
fight I knew it would be touch and go.  Half a minute into the fight I
knew I was going to lose."

  Ranma did his tactful best to raise his sister's spirits.  "She was
pretty hot stuff - it took me several seconds to beat her."

  "It got worse," Ranran said, glaring at Ranma for interrupting her
again. "After five minutes I realised she was toying with me like a cat
with a mouse."  Ranran watched her brother flinch with some satisfaction,
then continued, "It was then that it happened.  The rope broke on the left
side behind Shampoo - The log swung violently and we were both thrown to
the ground."

  "Ya should ha heard 'em," Ranma said, "Da crowd was muttering som't
awful - fights broke out over how to interpr't the result and whether it
had been sabotage.  Da guide told me the village elders were going to
'vestigate - but I wasna gonna wait for dat."

  "No, you just _had_ to fight Shampoo yourself, didn't you," Ranran
prompted.

  "Well one o da Saotomes had ta hold up da family honour - and it sure
weren't going to be Pop.  I must admit, I wazza little surprised by her
reaction after I won." Ranma said, remembering the moment with mixed
feelings.

  "Exactly how did she react?" Akane asked suspiciously.

  "She kissed me."

  Akane's kick bent the metal chain fence under him.  "Didn't you imply
you were both girls?!"

  "Guess you are listenin'," Ranma said, "Anyway, dat was when the guide
screamed like a girl, grabbed my hand and ran like crazy.  Apparently I'd
been given the kiss of death.  He said their pride was such dat if they
are defeated by an outsider they give the kiss of death.  A signal that
they will redeem their honour by killing ..."

  "And now I appear to have joined you on that list." Ranran interrupted,
in some confusion.  "She didn't attack me when she caught up with us in
China.  Arrows, maces, whatever, they were always aimed at Ranma - not
that she seemed to care if Pop was in the line of fire.  But with me ...
she just looked at me."

  "Looked? What do you mean?" Akane asked.

  "Well, it's hard to explain.  It wasn't a nice look," Ranran said.  If
she had been a little more articulate she might have said it was a look
composed mostly of disgust mixed with something else - sort of how you
might look at a 100 yen coin you've just found that has fallen in dog
shit.

10. HOME STAY

  Ranran reached opened the door first, turned pale and quickly shut it
again.

  "Wha-" Ranma attempted to say.
        "Ranma, Ranran! We have a guest to see you," Kasumi's voice came
from the sitting room.

  "Honestly!  What's up with you?" Akane asked, impatiently, as she
brushed past Ranran and opened the door fully.  Her question was answered
by the sight of a certain girl with long hair, part of which formed buns
on either side of her head.

  Shampoo turned around, putting down her tea.  "Is blanket-girl - Why
helped Ranma escape?" Shampoo said, looking suspiciously at the figures
trying to hide behind Akane.  "Ranma?" She asked, having pushed roughly
past Akane, "Nii-hao".

  Ranma sweatdropped and lifted his hand in a feeble greeting.

  Shampoo patted up and down Ranma's chest - "Boy." she confirmed.

  "Eh-heheh... Yes." Ranma managed.

  Shampoo turned her attention to the other arrival.  "Ranran?" she
queried - reaching out towards her.

  "Hey!" Ranran exclaimed pressing back against the wall of the entrance
hall.  "I'm a girl, alright - you don't have to check _that_ carefully."

  "Ranma, Ranran won't you join your friend for some tea?" Kasumi asked
sweetly.

  A short while later.  "Ranma - not girl target Ranma." Shampoo said
looking at the person in question.  "Ranran - not boy chasing Ranran," she
continued, turning her gaze.

  "I don't know," Ranran said with a weak smile, "I _might_ chase boys but
I'm not a boy you were chasing*."

  [* - Just managing to lie while telling the truth, after all she was the
'not-a-boy' that Shampoo was chasing.]

  Kasumi frowned at Ranran for making fun of Shampoo's Japanese.

  Shampoo grabbed Akane and lifted her up against the wall.  "Where girl
target Ranma!  Where Ranran!  Where you hide them!"

  "I don't know!"  Akane lied.

  "Ranma hide person." Shampoo said, bringing up one of her bonbori.
"Ki..."

  "Wait!" A voice came.

  Shampoo dropped Akane and turned to see who was interrupting.

  "I think I can find Ranran." Nabiki said (drawing dark glares from Ranma
and his sister), "Why, he's probably much closer than you think." (Ranran
waits for the axe to fall ... while Ranma made frantic shushing motions)

  "Sit back down and finish your tea.  We can discuss prices and
arrangements later," Nabiki said with a superior smirk.

  "So where are you staying?" Kasumi asked with a smile, glad that they
were all going to be friends after all.

  "Shampoo not got place - tent in park while look Ranma, Ranran."
Shampoo explained.

  "Oh!" Kasumi gasped, "That won't do at all - why don't you stay here
while you wait to meet your friends?"

  "Sorry Kasumi," Soun interrupted - he and Genma having joined the group
a short while back.  "I'm afraid there aren't enough rooms - Ranma already
has to share with his sister."  Soun watched the cloud of disappointment
pass quickly over his eldest daughters face and felt a strong twinge of
guilt for having denied her.

  'Nonsense, Ranma will just have to share with Akane' The sign read,
the pair concerned had just had time to draw breath to shout when 'And
Nabiki can share with Ranran.'  Was revealed on the other side of the
sign.

  By the time Genma had dragged his furry self out of the pond it was too
late - Kasumi had persuaded her father to share with his old friend Genma
so Shampoo could have a room of her own.  She wasn't sure why Ranma and
Ranran were so set against her staying, but Shampoo obviously was looking
forward to meeting them a lot - even if only in their alternate forms
(slightly puzzled look).  She giving their secret away wouldn't be nice,
but they'd be bound to slip up sooner or later.  Shampoo did seem to be a
little energetic and over enthusiastic (somewhat worried look) but that
just meant she'd be likely to get on well with Akane - Kasumi was glad
she'd been able to give her little sister a chance to make a new friend
(radiant smile).

- Nabiki's room later that evening.

  "Come in," Nabiki said cheerfully.

  Ranran entered the room with a sour look on her face.  "How much?"

  "How much for what?" Nabiki asked with well faked innocence.

  Ranran's glower increased perceptibly. "How much for you _not_ to tell
Shampoo about me."

  "Oh, I don't know ... I think Shampoo might be able to outbid you."

  "How do you know?  You haven't even asked how much I can pay?"  Ranran
asked angrily.

  "I know _exactly_ how much you're worth," Nabiki said.  "But that isn't
really the point - Shampoo can include something in her deal that you
can't afford."

  Ranran looked at her 'nemesis' and waited ...

  "The special ingredient," Nabiki said - her eye's glinting maliciously,
"is revenge.  I'll just let you sleep on it shall I?  Pleasant dreams."

- The following morning

  Ranma woke up to the chill morning breeze, his eyes blearily focussed
on the ground passing rapidly beneath him and his brain caught up with
what his ears had last heard.  'Lazy boy, time to get training!'

  The whole household (apart from Genma who was already up) woke up to the
desperate scream.  "NOT THE POND!!"

  Shampoo rolled over in the first bed she had slept in over two months -
whatever it was could wait, she decided, and went back to sleep.

...

  Kasumi brought another drink to the breakfast table.  Nabiki must be
feeling thirsty this morning, Kasumi thought, she had so far asked for
chilled orange juice, a long glass of water and an iced tea.

  "Thank you Kasumi - Oops!  My, I'm clumsy today.  Do you think you could
possibly get me another glass, please?"

  Ranran decided it was time to go.  This was doing wonders for her
reflexes, but the same couldn't be said for her nerves.  "I think I'll go
to school early today," she said.

  "Good idea, sis, I'll join ya." Ranma declared, his hair still damp from
the unscheduled early morning hot bath.

  Akane mumbled something under her breath - it might have been 'good
riddance' before a satchel appeared in her hand and she found herself
outside the open front door.  "Don't forget your fiancee!" Genma cried.

  "Mercenary girl tell where Ranma and Ranran yet?"  Shampoo asked, for
the fifth time since she had woken up.

  "No, but I think I know where you should look ... about 3pm today."
Nabiki said putting the last part of her plan into action ...

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Rambling post story notes.
--------------------------

  OK, I plead guilty to 'evil cliff-hanger'.

  Yes, that was 'Wo ai ni' directed to Ranran.  No, none of the characters
know what's going on (apart from Shampoo).  Yes, I _do_ have an
explanation that fits the story told by Ranma and explains why Shampoo is
claiming Ranran as her husband.  No, Shampoo isn't very enthusiastic about
it.  Yes, everything will be revealed in the next episode.

.
.
.

  Well, maybe not _everything_ ;-P

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Silly spamfic (as already posted) to make this post look a little longer
than it really is.

                        *** OMAKE ***

Rules are made to be ...

Scene: Teachers Lounge
Participants: A number of men, grabbing a biscuit or a smoke before
  heading back into the fray.

Science Teacher: ... and then there's the Saotome kid.  Why haven't we got
  him wearing uniform?

English Teacher: If I mention it he just mumbles agreement and turns up
  in that Chinese shirt anyway.

Maths Teacher: I've given up disciplining him - I think he prefers
  standing in the hall to sitting in class.

History Teacher: I'm not paid enough to worry about stuff like that.

Geography Teacher: And besides, haven't you noticed how hot he looks in
  that outfit?

(Other's edge away slowly)

Geography Teacher: What? What did I say?

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