Kevin B. wrote:

This is going to be my entry into the Second Bet, once I get it into final form.  C&C is welcomed, and possibly begged for on bended knee.

  A bet entry, eh? Interesting enough. I'm a fan of Ranma crossovers, so let's see.

There were a few things that hinted that the room might be something more than it appeared, though.  The glowing moss that draped the walls of the room was one such hint, lighting up the area with a soft, sourceless illumination.

  Repetition of 'hint' doesn't work to well. I think you could drop it and word around it.

"For many things are more than they seem, here in the twilight zone."

  Should 'twilight zone' be capitalized?

The fox climbed to its feet, fully awake.  "Hey Rod, long time no see."  he commented, stretching idly.

  see." he -- see," he  (though a lot of people ignore this convention, you might be one of them.)

Rod, the god of dramatic entrances, dramatic exits, and, oddly enough, can openers, slowly faded into view at the entrance to the room.  At the moment, he was wearing the form of one of his most famous followers, a tall, thin man in a dark suit.  Thunder crashed as he stepped closer to the well in the center of the room.  "Toltiir, Great Fox, I wish to enter in your Bet."  he boomed in a deep, dramatic voice.

  Bet." he -- Bet," he (I'll stop mentioning it, since you might be using it intentionaly.)

  I like Rod. Very funny. :p

"Sure."  The cat waved his paw over the pool of water.  The surface rippled for a moment, before calming.

  I hate to say it, but the comma in that sentence isn't really neccesary. I hate to see a good comma be put out of commision like that...

Gods did it all the time.  It was like television for them, except without the funny commercials with the talking frogs.

  Frog1: O...

  Frog2: ...lymp...

  Frog3: us...

"This timeline okay?"  the cat asked, peering at the images flickering over the glowing surface of the pool.  "In this one, right after Ranma and his father get back from China, Genma decides to follow up some stories of a shrine where they practice a unique fighting style before going to the Tendos.  However, he and Ranma end up getting lost in the woods, and eventually end up in Nerima without ever finding the shrine.  After that, it merges with one of the innumerable timelines where Akane manages to make a dish that ends up killing Ranma before her cooking begins to improve."  He squinted.  "It looks like it's the rat poison in this one."  He paused for a moment, as he continued to scrutinize the Well, then winced.  "And the turpentine."  Another moment passed.  "And I think that's some old lead based paint.  And that looks to be-"

  Yech. Sounds like my stepmother's cooking.

Paladine, god of truth, justice, and all that good stuff, was currently cursing the fact that he was unable to muster enough concentration to find his destination, as he stumbled through door after door.  He was cursing a lot of other things, too, as he tried to reach his destination.  Several of those things he had been cursing all through the dinner that his friend Bacchus had served, and all the wine he had drunk to try and forget those things was the reason for his current inability to concentrate enough to set his own destination.

  Ah. One of the Dragonlance gods, eh?

    He was cursing how he had been kicked out of his native universe by his father, along with all the rest of the gods there, for doing the celestial equivalent of stealing the car keys and locking his father, Chaos, in the basement.  It was accepted celestial procedure!  After all, just look at all the Greek gods!  They had done the same thing, and you didn't see them getting punished for it.  No, they were having a grand time over on Olympus, with no end in sight.

  Repetition of 'all'. Why is this paragraph indented, but others not?

    But the one thing that Paladine was cursing even more than the deserted state of the halls was how Bacchus had decided to put his bathroom in a completely different place from the rest of his house.  That, and the fact that Paladine had not thought to ask someone else for help getting around.  (Not that it was likely that anyone else at Bacchus's party would have been able to concentrate enough to use a doorway, either.  Bacchus was the god of wine, after all.)

  And another indented paragraph.

This is probably a good time to interject with a brief note.  Bacchus wasn't just the god of wine.  In fact, his full title was something more like "God of Wine, Whiskey, Vodka, Beer, Mead, Ale, Bourbon, Gin, Fermented Mare's Milk, Those Drinks with the Little Umbrellas in Them, Pieces of Fruit That Have Been Left Sitting Out Too Long, Various Intoxicating Magical Potions, Miscellaneous Brightly Colored Liquids with Insects, Lizards, or Bits of Fruit Floating in Them, Along With Any Other Drink That Makes Your Head Seem Like It's About To Explode, Either When You Drink It or The Morning After".  Considering this, it should be no surprise that some of the drinks that Bacchus mixed up had worse side effects than a mere hangover.  Some of his drinks could cause you to grow extra limbs, suddenly outline you in light of various colors, randomly teleport you somewhere else, or even turn you into a newt.  (Of course, you'd get better.  Eventually.).  And Bacchus never hesitated to serve these drinks to guests at his party.  It was one of the things that made them so interesting.

  Heh. Quite a title.

Rob was also lucky though, in a sense.  Sure, the rock that he was going to place his bet with had just been blasted by a fireball.  However, at least it hadn't been destroyed.  Instead, the fireball had imparted an enormous amount of momentum to the rock, sending it flying out of Rob's grip with the speed of a bullet.  It bounced crazily off the walls, leaving a series of dark patches where it scraped off the glowing moss.  It clipped the end of Great Fox's tail, ripping off a few hairs as the Native American god dove for cover.  Rebounding off the floor, it headed straight for Toltiir's face, only to bounce off a transparent shield raised by him at the last moment.  Continuing to ricochet wildly off the walls, the rock tore the phrase "hi mom" into the front of Pladine's shirt, though it was unable to harm the immortal flesh beneath.

  hi mom -- Hi, Mom (?)

  Paladine's name seems to be misspelled, too.

Mr. Fuzzykins was not a happy cat.  Of course, with a name like Mr. Fuzzykins, this was no surprise, but his discontent extended farther than that.  In fact, it extended all the way back to his childhood, when he was just a cute, wide-eyed kitten.

  Oh, so the cats involved in the neko-ken training get traumatized, too?

This is the point where most psychiatrists would immediately diagnose it as depression and blame it on his parents.  Then, they would proceed to prescribe two drugs to deal with the symptoms, four more drugs to take care of the side effects of the first two drugs, and then another seven drugs to reduce the side effects coming from those drugs and their interactions with each other and the original two drugs.  At this point, the patient would be such a quivering wreck from the massive overmedication that the psychiatrist, panting heavily and more than a little wild-eyed from dealing with the patient's constant complaints about what the drugs were doing to him, would feel fully justified in having him committed to an asylum.  (Whether the doctor or the patient would be the one committed is unclear.)

  Digressions can be amusing, but this one's a little too convoluted, I think. :/

  Ending in a parenthetical aside doesn't help it much, either...

  But then, that's just my opinion. You can feel free to ignore me. :p

At first, the newly-wed couple who had picked Mr. Fuzzykins had seemed perfect.  They had adored him, buying loads of cat toys for him, giving only the highest quality cat food, and generally pampering him silly as they debated on what to name him.  He had been happy living the good life, until the couple finally settled on Mr. Fuzzykins as his name.

  newly-wed -- newlywed (?)

Still, life had remained pretty good.  He still was pampered silly, and it was starting to look like that would continue forever, even though he still winced whenever he heard his name.

  Repetition of 'still'.

Then came the second strike.  A strange little creature, about his size, had suddenly appeared around the house.  HIS domain.  On top of that, the humans who he deigned to allow to feed and house him had, instead of driving out the intruder and restoring him to his rightful place as lord of the household, pushed him and the tiny creature closer together!  What did they think he was, a chew toy for whatever chose to wander into the house?!

  I'm getting "Lady and the Tramp" flashbacks.

They had wandered in the woods for a few days, hungry and lost.  (Genma had snuck into their packs and eaten most of the food the first night.)  Earlier that day, they had finally come across a small town.  Genma still hadn't spent the money to buy a map, but at least they had been about to stop at a restaurant to get some food in their stomachs, possibly followed by getting some supplies at the local grocery store.

  'possibly'?

Of course, Genma, being the kind, compassionate father that he was, was now tracking down the boy, hoping that he wouldn't get too far away while in the throes of the Catfist.  (The move caused an incredible fear of cats in anyone trained in it.  When the fear became too great, their minds retreated to get away from it, leaving them with the mind of a cat.  While they were like that, they had enhanced senses and abilities, and were able to manifest claws of pure energy.  Ranma usually used those claws to get back at the person who had put him through the torture required to actually learn the technique).  Even though his son would probably attack him again, Genma was nobly tracking him down to prevent him from getting lost or hurting others.

And besides, his wife would kill him if he managed to lose Ranma.

  Heh.

There was the fact that the broken crystals that surrounded where her core lay on the lake bottom were slowly disappearing, as they were absorbed back into her structure by tiny probes she had sent out.  Other probes, small crystalline orbs that flew around on miniature gravity repulsion drives, had left the lake and were wandering the vicinity, absorbing plants and small animals as a source of vital organic molecules.  Like a teenager who consumes large amounts of food in order to fuel rapid growth in their body, Ryo-Oki was absorbing large quantities of materials in order to rapidly regrow herself.

  Hm. I thought Ryo-oh-ki was more mineral than animal or vegetible.

With a small puff of displaced air, a black tomcat appeared in the garden.  Looking around at the strange place it found itself in, it wondered where the interesting grey cat-toy that had been floating in front of it a second ago had gone.  A moment later, such thoughts were forgotten as it became distracted by what a0ppeared to be a fuzzy pink mouse fleeing through the grass.

  a0ppeared -- appeared

However, there was one thing that she had remained absolutely certain of for all the time that she had been here, and that was her name.  She brought it to mind again as she petted the black cat that she had just come across.  "Hello," she said, sitting down and scooping the tomcat into her lap, where it began to play with strands of her long brown hair.  Tickling its nose with a strand of the long blue grass that grew in this area of the garden, she said to it "I'm Ryo-Oki.  Nice to meet you."

  Huh... Interesting.