Hi all!

This is part 2 of "Griever", a FF VIII fanfic. I have a website; I need to upload everything. The previous chapter is available upon request. I have *not* finished chapter 4 yet, due to time constraints.  I figured I might as well get some feedback on this. Good, bad, whatever, I'll take anything. ^_^ C&C would be much appreciated. I just want to know how I can make things better.

Thanks to everyone who wrote back the last time, and I apologize to those letters to which I did not reply! I was *really* busy, so know that I read all of them and I was very glad for all the encouragement I received. ^_^

Okay, here we go. Read on!

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Disclaimer: Come on, sueing me is not worth it. I *know* this stuff doesn't really belong to me.

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GRIEVER


Chapter Two -- Preparation


In a certain town on the Western Continent, there was a small 
dock.  Two men and one woman were fishing there, chatting as 
they sat on the sun-bleached, dry wooden planks of the gray 
docks.

One man was large and big-boned, wearing a faded and stained 
gray trench coat.  There was a red sort of cross painted on 
it, with dirty gashes in it.  The man was tall, with an army 
haircut in his orange hair.  He held a fishing rod and sat, 
fidgeting the entire time.  Something about him spoke of 
tremendous, suppressed energy.

The other man was a bit shorter, but with more muscle and 
looked quite heavy.  He was considerably darker, with black 
hair and eyes.  He wore a dark denim vest and loose, baggy 
pants.  He had just caught a fish and was dancing in joy on 
the precarious wooden dock.

The woman was standing stiffly, at attention to some 
invisible general.  Her hair was silver and in a short bob.  
A black eyepatch covered the left eye.  Her clothes were 
impeccable--a fitting, light-blue jacket with a mandarin 
collar, and navy-blue slacks with black boots.  She had a 
cold, wry emotion on her face.

Raijin resumed his victory dance over the catch. "STOP." 
Fujin gave Raijin a good kick.  "UNNECESSARY."

Raijin looked at his fish, then at the scowling Seifer.  "Not 
true, ya know?  It's a good catch and we gotta eat 
*something*, ya know?  Can't starve. . ."

Seifer looked over at Raijin.  "Boy's got a point." He 
grunted a little as he got up, leaving his fishing pole in 
the water.  "How long have we been stuck in Timber?  I'm sick 
of this place.  And of eating fish three meals a day."

"Well, if you didn't insist, ya know, on goin' to the bar, 
maybe we'd have the money to go somewhere else, ya know." 
Raijin's sensibilities annoyed Seifer, but he gave them a 
thought.

"Where would we go?"

Silence.

"REJECTS."

"Yup," Seifer said with a twinge of sadness and a streak of 
anger.  "Rejects.  Galbadia isn't gonna want me there.  
Balamb Garden. . .ha, Squall will have me sliced and diced 
with the Lion Heart before I set foot on Garden soil.  Not to 
mention all the others.  I can see them dividing up parts of 
me to mutilate.  Guess Irvine could practice his sharp-
shooting on me." He brooded some more, staring at the 
undulating waves of water.

"EXAGGERATE."

"No, I don't." Seifer focused his attention on the red-and-
white bob.  "So what do you think will happen if we go back 
to Balamb?"

There was a nice, long pause.  "UNKNOWN."

"Exactly." Seifer looked at his trench coat, now in tatters.  
"Hmm, I might want a new coat some time. . .never mind that.  
Wanna go out tonight, have some fun?  Forget our troubles. . 
.same as always, I know.  Still, you guys wanna?"

"Get drunk, you mean, ya know?" Raijin nodded.  "Heck, I'm 
all for it!"

"START WALKING."

Seifer smiled grimly.  Certainly this habit was destructive, 
but lots of ethanol proved the only way to forget their 
problems. . .well, night after night, it was always the same, 
but was there any other way?  No one to help them, no one to 
lend a hand, no one to support.

"Guess it's just us three," he sighed to himself.

***

"Hey, hey!" Selphie gave Squall a light hug.  "Glad to see 
you up and about again." She grinned in her usual friendly 
fashion.  "Guess it was just a lil bug that got you."

Squall nodded, still slightly fatigued.  "Still kinda tired."

Rinoa grabbed his hands.  "Well, you sure seem better." She 
felt his forehead, then looked at him.  "Hey, you're in top 
shape!  Zell's in the cafeteria. . .wait, better not disturb 
him.  He's on his first 'date' with that girl, you know.  The 
one from the library."

"Ahh. . .congratulations to him." Irvine grinned.  Then he 
put an arm around Selphie and looked at her affectionately.  
"Should we follow the leader, Sefie?"

Selphie pretended to consider.  "Maybe.  Only if you behave 
yourself, Irvine!" She giggled at him.

Quistis rolled her eyes and looked at Rinoa, as if to say, 
"That pair has way too much energy for its own good."  Rinoa 
winked back and pinched Irvine, who immediately thought that 
Selphie had done it.  He looked at her in surprise, while she 
looked at him with a blank stare.

Squall laughed.  It was good to be back among his friends.

***

[One Month Later]

***

"General, there's something we'd like to talk with you about. 
. ." Laguna's voice, apologetic to be interrupting, came 
buzzing over the intercom.  "But if I could just have five 
minutes with you in your office, um, I'd appreciate it."

"Yes, yes." Xu pressed the "off" button on the intercom and 
stood from her desk.  Papers were spread all over the 
mahogany surface.  With a sigh, she pushed her chair aside 
and walked to the heavy door.  As she walked, Xu glanced at 
her uniform, hanging silently on her bedroom wall.  It was a 
black velvet blouse, with a sailor collar that in the back 
was cut into two triangles.  The collar and lapels were edged 
with silver and embroidered in gold.  The skirt was narrow 
and knee-length, with a gold edge and a two-inch slit up the 
left and right sides.  She wore knee-high, black leather 
boots, and sometimes carried a ceremonial sword.  Stupid 
outfit, she thought.  Then she glanced down at her blouse and 
skirt.  Who cared if she didn't look like a general. . .

One month had changed few opinions for her.  Laguna was a 
good president, but he shouldn't have invited her to do this.  
Esthar was a cool place to live, but she would rather be at 
Garden.  The homesickness had abated to a bearable level, but 
she missed home still. . .

She didn't mind being General at all.  She rather liked 
wielding authority, for leading people gave her the only 
feeling of control she ever had.  Xu was pleased to find a 
well-trained army and good leaders under her, although, she 
always added silently, no one could measure up to Balamb 
Garden.  The silent qualifier was always there, dangling in 
her mind.

The Lunar Cry was impending, and Xu could sense the pervading 
fear in her troops and in much of the city and the country.  
After all, Esthar was always the target, thanks to the 
presence of the immovable Lunatic Pandora.  Then again, where 
could they move that hunk of junk?  Better it be out in the 
desert than near a city.  Still, it made people nervous, 
although "Tears' Point" was a favorite among tourists who 
wanted a thrill.

They had even gotten help for the control of monsters.  Xu 
had telephoned Cid, and he had agreed to send a few groups of 
SeeD cadets to Esthar for their field exams.  Supposedly, 
three groups were coming to Lunatic Pandora.  Too many groups 
made for confusion, as SeeD cadets were trained to fight in 
small groups, between two and ten.  With each group holding 
from three to five, three groups were about the maximum 
possible in one locale.

Xu sighed.  What could Laguna want to talk about now?  She 
opened the door and he came in, wearing an unbuttoned dress 
shirt and pressed khaki slacks.  His usual attire, which Xu 
had become accustomed to, very fast.

"Dr. Odine," he began.

"I don't want to know," Xu murmured softly.  She hated that 
name, Odine.

"--thinks that he discovered something about the composition 
of Lunatic Pandora, relating to Esthar's infrastructure.  He 
says that after the Lunar Cry and the events afterwards, he 
would like you to join him in the lab."

"And be a guinea pig?" Xu inquired.

"Nah, probably as an assistant."

Xu's pride flared.  "I didn't study quantum mechanics for 
three years to be an assistant.  I thought I came to be a 
general.  What about the soldiers I supervise?  I won't let 
them die while I'm screwing around with little hunks of 
crystals in a lab.  And I don't anticipate working with Doc 
Odine to be any pleasant experience for me or anyone." She 
looked sorry that she had spoke up, but couldn't stop.  "I 
just don't think that it's appropriate at all, under the 
circumstances.  You told me to freely speak my mind.  Well. . 
."

"Yes," Laguna said with a smile, "I did.  I was hoping that 
you'd refuse Odine's offer.  But I was also worried about the 
Lunar Cry."

Xu nodded, feeling better already.  "What about it?"

"There are going to be casualties and wounds, you know. . 
.maybe. . .the soldiers would appreciate it if you went 
around the hospital later, doing some rounds with the nurses.  
I doubt that anyone would kick you out." Laguna scratched his 
head.  "Y'know, just to boost their morale, and to let 'em 
know that their general cares about them." He wasn't sure how 
she would take this.  It might be a step down for a general 
to do this kind of thing, but if she had any compassion in 
her, then she could do it.  He remembered what it was like as 
a soldier, with a cold general in the lead.

Xu smiled, a warm feeling growing in her chest.  Laguna cared 
that much for the soldiers?  Laguna understood the needs of 
the individual as well as the army machine?  Of course, Xu 
thought, Laguna understood what it felt like, after all, 
since he had been a soldier himself.  "Yes, I'll definitely 
do that.  I'm very glad you brought it up." Her smiling face 
said as much.

Laguna looked at her.  The excitement on her face was 
unmistakable.  She had a passion for her work, as he did for 
his.  He respected passion in life, especially for the things 
he held dear.  Now he knew that they shared some of the same 
values--love and concern for fellow human beings and their 
emotions.  He had chosen well for this job and mission.

"I'm glad I hired her," were his last thoughts as he walked 
away, towards his own office.

***

"I-I'm leading a SeeD cadet group?  But I'm not even an 
Instructor!"

Squall's protests were more or less in vain.  Cid was firm.  
"Squall, I made sure that you'd be leading the most promising 
cadets.  They look up to you, you know that?  You're the 
Commander.  All of them are so excited and honored to be in 
your group. . .I'd hate to tell them no."

Squall muttered darkly.  "Whatever.  Where are we going?"

"Your group is headed to Esthar.  Sorceress Adel has been 
discovered to reside on the Moon, and is sending down a Lunar 
Cry in about three days.  We're sending over three SeeD units 
to help them take care of the crisis.  Of course, and I have 
not told anyone else this--we'll probably recruit you and 
Quistis especially to help with, er, taking care of Adel 
later."

"What about Matron?  Or Rinoa?  Adel's a sorceress."

"That's precisely it.  You may not want to fight her on her 
home turf, with magic.  Besides, if Adel decides to pull some 
more tricks that affect sorceresses but not people like you. 
. .you two will be the best choice." Cid looked at Squall for 
his opinion.

"Okay, I guess." Squall had no idea what to say.  Him leading 
a group?  He'd have nothing to say to them.  He could see 
himself already.

~~~

Squall: Okay, you know what you're doing?

Cadet A: No. What?

Squall: Idiot.

Cadet B: We're going to Esthar.

Squall: So why are you asking?

~~~

He flinched.  "Anyway.  Where's Rinoa these days?  I hardly 
ever see her."

Cid smiled.  "That's because she's training in sorcery with 
Edea.  She decided that she would like to learn to use her 
powers.  Edea says that if she's any good, one day we can 
call her a descendant of Hyne.  Only as a title, of course.  
Sorceresses inherit fragments of her power, but it's not a 
bloodline issue."

Squall nodded.  That was an interesting topic, but he didn't 
have the patience or the desire to pursue it further.  He 
needed his time to plan his trip to Esthar, and something to 
say to his five cadets.  "Understood, sir."

"That's good to hear," Cid said with a smile.  He handed 
Squall an envelope.  "Tomorrow night you will head to Esthar, 
where the newly-appointed General Xu will give the groups 
their various missions briefings.  I expect that your group 
will be put in the most difficult zone, so be prepared.  
These are the papers from Xu.  I looked over my copy with 
Edea.  It is very thorough, and I see nothing wrong with it.  
Therefore, I expect you all to obey them to the letter."

Squall nodded.  He wondered how Xu liked her new position.  
"I see."

Cid nodded.  "Good.  Dismissed."

Squall gave a final, formal bow as he left the Headmaster's 
office.  He walked away, nervous, and finally went to his 
room, where he closed the door and lay down on his bed.  The 
familiarity of the room comforted him in the face of 
uncertainly and pervading self-doubt about the upcoming 
mission.

Lead a troop of SeeD cadets to destroy monsters from the 
lunar world. . .be their leader, Squall. . .Commander Squall. 
. .you're our only hope, Squall. . .he was starting to hate 
all this pressure people put on him, just because he could 
wield a gunblade.

Well, too bad!  He didn't want to be a leader.  He had never 
_wanted_ to be a leader in the first place.  He did not enjoy 
leading--it was simply too much responsibility and too big a 
task, especially since he was Commander of Garden.  Cid ran 
the place, but when war threatened, Squall was supposed to 
take over.  That responsibility was a huge, unseen burden on 
his back, pushing him down whenever he thought of it.

Sorceress, huh, he thought.  Perhaps he should go and visit 
Rinoa a little.  He hadn't seen her for two days.

***

"Arghhhh!  C'mere, like I said!  Reveal. . .aiiii!"

Rinoa held her hand up and made a circle with one finger, 
then used another to draw a triangle.  "Draw together within, 
take thy form!  Reveal!" She closed her eyes, a glowing 
diagram in her mind.

Not a very exciting spell, but it took Rinoa four exasperated 
tries cast it right.  A pretty starburst of confetti came 
into being and scattered itself all over the carpeted floor.  
Edea, wearing her plain shirt and long dress, smiled.  "Good 
job, Rinoa."

"Thanks." Rinoa looked at her efforts, lying on the floor.  
"Is that all magic is?  Making stuff and learning to speak in 
old words?"

"I wouldn't say that." Edea smiled.  "Doesn't it seem boring 
at first?  Well, you have to learn to control that power, you 
know.  If you let power just spill into a spell, it will 
either degenerate from instability, or it will recoil on you.  
The latter of which can be quite painful.  I advise you not 
to try it."

Rinoa nodded.  "Won't even think of it."

Edea shook her head.  "It's not a matter of thinking that you 
want to mess things up.  Drawing diagrams in the air is one 
way of focusing your power.  If you don't do that cleanly, 
the power will just go everywhere, and not into an orderly 
pattern.  That's what causes things like a spell 
spontaneously breaking." She pulled out a text.  "I think you 
know enough terms to understand this textbook--oh, hello 
there, Squall!  Came to visit Rinoa?"

Squall stood, rather awkwardly, in the doorway.

"Squall, Squall!  Did you know that sorceresses first came 
from Centra, where the ruins are?  Supposedly the Lunar Cry--
"

Squall smiled.  "Yes, I know.  We learn those things in 
class."

Rinoa pouted.  "Well, I didn't go to school.  I had a tutor, 
but after I ran away when I was sixteen, I never had school."

"You didn't miss too much," Squall muttered under his breath.  
Then he looked at Edea.  "How are the lessons coming?  I just 
wanted to ask. . ."

"Great!" Rinoa bounced over.  "Float!"

Squall mumbled something as he floated into the air.  He 
looked at himself.  "Dispel." He gently came down.  Rinoa 
made an annoyed sound.  Squall smiled.  "We all know para-
magic, Rinoa.  Silence!" At that, a cloud wrapped itself 
around Rinoa, going down her mouth and clogging her throat.  
Annoyed, Rinoa made a gesture to Edea, who laughed as she 
cast an Esuna spell at Rinoa.

"Squall," Edea said with a humored expression, "we are doing 
other types of magic.  Like this.  Reveal, take thy form, 
materialize." She uttered more words, in a strange, ancient-
sounding tongue.  She put out a hand and focused on the air 
in front of her face.  A moment later, a hologram of Selphie 
tap-dancing appeared.  It was so lifelike that Rinoa had to 
squint to make sure it wasn't some sort of teleportation and 
controlling spell.

"Hi, my name is Selphie Tilmitt!  I'm a SeeD cadet at Balamb 
Garden!" She twirled a little more.

Rinoa stared.  "You can do illusions?"

Edea nodded.  "A basic spell.  You will learn better.  
Dispel!" The image flickered, Selphie said goodbye, and 
turned slowly to mist, which thinned and soon dissipated in 
the room.  Squall didn't look particularly impressed, but 
Rinoa was clapping and cheering as if it was the best thing 
she'd ever seen.

"Wow, wow!  I wanna learn that one sometime!" Rinoa grabbed 
the textbook and clasped it to her chest as a precious item.  
"If I read and understand this book, this that mean I get to 
understand illusions?"

"No, not quite." Edea shook her head.  "That's a rather 
useless spell.  In the book are principles behind things like 
lighting fire, setting up a ward or a seal, or detecting 
enchanted objects in a large area.  If you read the book 
carefully, you might piece together things like searching 
spells, or spells to counteract certain spells.  Would you 
like that?"

"Yes!" Rinoa smiled fully, then turned to Squall.  "Hey, do 
you want to learn magic? Wanna help me with the book?"

Squall frowned.  "I think this is for people who have innate 
talent and magical power.  Not just the ability to cast para-
magic that anyone can use.  I'm not a sorcerer." He looked at 
Edea.  "Isn't that how it works?"

Edea nodded.  "Sorry, Rinoa, but Squall can't help you with 
this one.  In fact, I would recommend that you read this 
alone and in silence.  True spells are delicate matters, and 
if you forget a word here or a twist of the diagram there, 
you can end up with something completely different, and the 
nature may be drastically changed. . .for the better or 
worse.  Therefore, it would serve you well to be very careful 
with magic." She smiled.  "I assure you that the effort is 
worth it in the end, when you are a full Sorceress."

Rinoa nodded eagerly.  "Okay, I got it." She looked at 
Squall.  "Well, can I show off to you when I finish?"

"Sure," he replied, with a nod.  "But I sorta promised a 
couple of my cadets that I would train with him," he added 
apologetically.  "I'm supposed to, um, lead a group tomorrow 
on our way to Esthar, and I guess I should make sure I'm in 
top shape."

"You always are," Rinoa complained.  "Why do you have to go 
now. . .oh, well.  Guess I'll go read the book.  Then I can 
blast you for ditching me." She got a sideways glance from 
Edea for that last phrase.

Squall nodded.  "Whatever," came to mind, but he said 
nothing.

"See ya!" Rinoa left the room.  Edea smiled at Squall, who 
paused a moment, then nodded awkwardly to Matron and slowly 
went out of the room.

***

"Whoa!" The young cadet ducked a savage sweep from Squall, 
then aimed a flying kick for his head.  Squall blocked with 
his blade, and held off from firing.  He had taken all the 
bullets out just in case.  He wasn't going to injure anyone 
in training.  Not like Seifer, he thought with a repressed 
shudder.

Squall went with a butterfly-sweep of the blade and tried to 
avoid the recruit's sword, but failed.  The two gunblades 
collided.  Squall's Lion Heart didn't even flinch, but it 
left a good dent in the cheaper blade.  The fighting stopped, 
as the young man looked at his weapon.  "Darn.  You sure were 
strong."

"Sorry," Squall mumbled.  He should have remembered to use 
his cheap practice wrapon, not his precious gunblade, for the 
job.  "Tell the weapons guy that it was my fault.  You 
shouldn't have to pay for a new one."

"Okay." The boy looked glum, but his eyes lit up again when 
he looked at Squall.  "Thanks for training with me, sir!  It 
was an honor!" Admiration fairly flew from his sparkling blue 
eyes.  Sweat dripped from his forehead, and he wiped it away, 
wetting his dark brown hair.  "Thank you so much!"

"An honor?" Squall wondered.  They really think that highly 
of me?  Geez, I didn't think of it that way. . ."Umm, thanks.  
Glad to. . .be of service." He left immediately, not sure how 
he would answer any follow-up questions like "Where's you get 
*that* gunblade?" He took a quick look back, and watched the 
young man go into practice with himself, with a concentration 
rarely seen in those his age.

Squall walked back to his dorm to clean up his weapon.  And 
he needed to come up with a plan of action for visiting 
Esthar.  He wasn't looking forward to it, but that was his 
job as a SeeD.  Complete the mission handed to him.  Obey the 
orders.  Do as the client wills.

He shrugged.

Squall was a SeeD, through and through.

***

"Hyne was the First Sorceress, according to Centra Legend.  
People migrated from there to every other place on this 
Earth.  Some say Hyne created all mankind, but others 
disagree.  However, all agree that she was the first 
sorceress.  When she died, a portion of her powers wandered 
to other females in the world, and they also became 
sorceresses.

"Magic continued to develop in this manner. . .oh, who 
cares!" Rinoa shut the book and threw it at her pillow.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. . .Hyne died without any descendents, so 
we know that magic is not hereditary genetically.  The second 
documented Sorceress was Sayth. . ." She could recite that 
part already.

"I wonder what Hyne was like," Rinoa mused to herself, 
thinking over the experience with Ultimecia.  Was she a 
frightening sorceress, ready to level the universe?  Or. . 
.was she a kind, gentle soul, who hesitated to use her 
powers?  Why didn't she have any children?  That was 
unexplainable.  Rinoa wanted children--lots of them.  With 
Squall or whoever. . .at that thought Rinoa blushed.  A girl 
of seventeen, she thought, certainly. . .did she really know 
who she wanted?  After nearly a year's worth of knowing and 
loving Seifer--

You and Squall went through so much together, she mentally 
told herself.  Is that the only reason you love each other?  
Was is because you were pushed into so many things where you 
had to depend on each other?  Or am I just the first woman he 
had ever looked at?  Sometimes I have to wonder to myself.

She shook her head.  Love was a mysterious thing.  But 
whatever the case, she was in love with Squall, and she had 
reason to believe that he reciprocated her feelings.  She had 
awakened feelings he never knew he had.  She had thought that 
she was just going through a fling, but it sure seemed like 
more than that.

No, Rinoa thought.  It's more than that.  He kissed me.  He 
waited for me.  He came after me in space.  He promised me.  
We mean so much to each other, Rinoa mused as she tapped her 
finger on the worn book cover.

***

"Seifer?  Seifer!"

Raijin woke from his drunken sleep.  He and Fujin were both 
slumped against a wall, behind some random bar in Timber.  At 
least he hadn't drunk that much.  Fujin was still out cold.  
Raijin was surprised at how much the woman could hold.  And 
where was Seifer?

Seifer was up and about, and came back to the two with some 
food.  "Yo, people.  Had a good nap?  I told ya not to drink 
that one all at once."

"Shut up, ya know, Seifer?  Who was the one to insist on 
buying so many cocktails?  Huh?" Raijin muttered something.  
At least he wasn't sick.  The hangover was nasty, but there 
was no nausea.  A marked improvement from last time.  Still. 
. ."Seifer, I think it's time we quit this bar-hopping.  
Let's go back somewhere."

"That's an idea." Seifer played with his gunblade, the only 
neat thing he possessed anymore.  "Sure.  Where to?"

Raijin hesitated.  He knew that this idea wasn't going to fly 
very far, but he had to give it a shot.  "Back to Garden.  
You and Squall should make up with each other, you know. . 
.right?  I know you were rivals, but you two always, you 
know, saw how good each other were." He stood, awkward, 
revealing for a few moments his thoughts, as he rarely did.  
"What's the point of stayin' here and rotting to death behind 
random pubs?  Wouldn't you rather go home?"

"Home.  That's an interesting way to describe it." Seifer 
glowered at his gunblade, suppressed memories finally 
fighting their way to the surface.  "I'm a reject there, 
Raijin.  I told ya already, they don't wanna see me there.  I 
could get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, and 
Squall would still pull his renzokuken on me." He frowned.  
"And Rinoa's there, remember?"

"Ain't she the girl you went out with last summer?"

"Yeah.  We. . .I wanted to get pretty serious, see if we 
might even go steady, but along comes puberty boy with his 
pretty face and she's all his." Seifer swung the gunblade and 
it cleanly sliced a cobblestone in two.  Raijin flinched at 
the bitterness in the last phrase.  "Fought me.  I saw the 
hate in her eyes.  She hated me for who I was.  She just 
wanted Squall.  I'm used, and she's onto something new.  
Something better." He pulled out the weapon and swung it in a 
dizzying, complex pattern above his head.  "She had her fun 
with me, so it was time for hot and heavy stuff with good ol' 
puberty boy, 'cos he's more fun than me." The blade crashed 
down on the street and made a neat, long crack.  Raijin 
swallowed and backed away.

Suddenly the blade stopped flashing.  The gunblade clattered 
on the ground with a resounding, metallic clang.  It rolled 
around a few times before coming to rest.  Seifer did not 
bend down to pick up his precious weapon.

Raijin thought he saw Seifer crying, but he banished the 
thought.  No.  Almasy doesn't cry.  He's a man, strong, 
tough, cold.  Not a weak girlish figure.  No!  That couldn't 
be Seifer!

"I lost her." His voice cracked, and he shut his eyes as he 
leaned back against the grimy brick wall.  "Lost her to him.  
Did she know how much I loved her?  Or was I just. . .passing 
through to her?  Wasn't serious enough?  Wasn't good enough 
to her?  Was a total and complete jerk to her?  Yeah, that's 
probably it." Seifer hung his head.  "That's it.  Must be 
it."

Fujin was beginning to stir in her corner.  "Whassat?" Slowly 
she opened her eyes, staring blearily at Raijin and Seifer.  
"Seifah?  Issokay." Fujin brushed off her blue jacket and 
slowly rose to her feet.  "SEIFER."

"Shut up," Seifer ordered, new hate in his voice.  This time, 
it was tinged with pain, not pride or arrogance.  Just fresh, 
raw pain, from his realization.  "You two don't know nothin' 
about this!  You ain't never had that kind of thing, 
somethin' you loved that much, taken 'way from you!  You jus 
wait till it happens, then you'll. . .then you'll understand 
why it hurts." He stared blankly at his two friends.  No, he 
thought bitterly, they had never loved like that.  They could 
not understand the wounds.

"Okay then," Raijin said, "forget that I ever made that 
suggestion, ya know." He looked nervous.  "But I just 
thought--that it would be nice to belong somewhere, ya know. 
. .we used to be a real family at Garden, ya know.  They were 
our. . .family." It was so darned awkward to say these 
things, but somebody had to say them sometime, and it wasn't 
going to be Seifer.  "We belonged there."

"You two can still belong there," Seifer said, sincerity 
mixed with regret, "but I'm dead to them.  I won't blame you 
for going back, though."

"WITH SEIFER." Fujin stood, adamant.  Amazingly, all traces 
of alcohol were wiped from her features.  "RETURN."

Seifer glared at her.  "Why are you two throwin' away your 
lives on account of me?  It ain't worth it.  Go back to 
Balamb.  I'm tellin' you, I don't mind.  I want you guys to 
have good lives.  Don't turn out like me." He gave a 
merciless laugh.  "Remember that, and you'll turn out just 
fine." He shook his old coat and picked up his gunblade.  
"Oh, wait.  Do me a favor, would you, Raijin?"

"Huh?  Okay." Raijin was too surprised to say anything else.

Seifer reached into a deep recess of his gray coat and pulled 
out a little pouch, made of wine-colored brocade and held 
shut with a silken drawstring.  "When you get back to Garden, 
give this to Rinoa and tell her that I. . .that I. . ." he 
paused and looked at it.  "Go on, take it."

"Tell her what?"

"Nothing.  She'll be there for sure, with Squall there and 
all." His eyes went cloudy at that last thought.  "Give it to 
her, don't forget. . ."

Then Seifer jumped up and ran.  He went between two packing 
crates and went down the muddy path, narrowly wedged between 
two tall brick buildings.

"Come back here!" Raijin jumped up and latched onto Seifer's 
coat.  Surprised at the force of reaction, Seifer twisted out 
of the lock and started running down the street.  Fujin, 
startled, followed.

Down the streets they went, through mazes of cobblestone 
streets, ducking under plastic awnings, and jumping over pets 
and owners alike.  Seifer dodged down a dark alleyway where 
he had once gone, in an attempt to kill the president.  He 
knew this place.  He just had to lose his ex-friends so that 
he wouldn't be a burden anymore.  It was time to let go.

Fujin and Raijin followed Seifer into the small, squalid 
alley.  The smell of garbage was overwhelming, and Seifer was 
nowhere to be seen in the darkness.  They carefully moved 
down, trying not to trip over the cans and send rodents 
flying everywhere.  It was hopeless, and they managed to make 
it through with a few spills.  They looked around the tiny 
cul-de-sac in which they found themselves.  Quaint houses all 
around, but no Seifer.

Seifer was long gone, through an abandoned house and into 
another back street.  He could hide for a few hours until his 
friends gave up.  Praying that they would head back to Garden 
and get their lives mended, Seifer breathed a last farewell, 
and started aimlessly down the dirt path.

"Have a good life," he whispered, with no mirth.

***

Xu winced as she looked at the agenda she had just composed.  
"Take teams A (Pravos) and B (Marta) to equidistant positions 
around Lunar Pandora, so that the three points are collinear.  
Take team C (Squall) above Lunatic Pandora and watch for 
Adel's possible appearance, and to destroy any monsters that 
come within range."

Thoughtfully, she considered.  It sounded reasonable.  The 
army of Esthar would be stationed in a circular formation 
around Tears' Point, and they would have massive backup all 
behind the circle.  If all went as planned, there should be 
no problems, and the monsters should be exterminated rapidly.

Too bad things rarely work out just like that, Xu thought 
wryly.  All this meticulous planning and organizing was 
giving her a massive headache.  If she wanted to be clear-
headed for tomorrow's mission, then she should probably take 
a rest.  President Laguna trusted her enough to let her take 
care of everything.  Which was flattering, but not altogether 
reassuring to Xu.  She had enough experience from the last 
mission in Dollet to know that not every situation is as 
simple as it appears.  What if Adel had something bigger up 
her sleeve?  Perhaps Xu should ask Edea to make an appearance 
as well.  Then again, possession was always a possibility, 
and not a pleasant one.

"Hmm, no way around it," she thought, annoyed.  "I'll have to 
get a few magic-trained people around here.  Rinoa?  Nah. . 
.is she proficient enough?  Squall's here, so she certainly 
won't refuse to come.  Then again, she got possessed last 
time, so I can't have it happen again." Xu sighed.  "Well, 
guess we'll have to set up a ward or something around the 
Tears' Point area.  That should do it." She got up from the 
chair and went to find President Laguna in person.

***

"Sounds good," Laguna said with a nod.  "Good plan.  I'm glad 
you thought of the magical ward.  Would you like the 
scientists from the Sorceress Memorial to set it up?  They've 
all had magical training to work in a place like that."

Xu shrugged.  "I wanted to ask for Edea to come, but I don't 
think this is big enough of a deal, and she's just settling 
back into Garden.  Is this worth pulling her away for a 
little while?

Laguna sighed.  "Well, we're not even that sure that Adel 
will show up.  We haven't detected her energy patterns just 
yet, so she might stay behind while the monsters come.  
Anyhow, I don't think it will be necessary.  We'll put up 
shields on everyone so that at least possession isn't 
possible.  Magic is not a huge deal.  We should be able to 
take care of that easily."

Xu nodded.  "I like that.  Can we put in an email today?  
They should know as soon as possible what's planned."

Laguna agreed with her.  "I'll send in a message with the 
presidential account.  They should read those immediately." 
He sat down in a chair.  "Now, let's just get this down so I 
can input this into the official logs. . .and can we have a 
detailed report to hand out to the other leaders, including 
the SeeD leaders?"

"Got it already." Xu handed him a crystalline disk.  "I wrote 
down every team's assignment, so that everyone knows what 
everyone else is doing.  Diagrams are included, and so are 
the names of the people in charge, so that anyone with 
questions can ask freely.  A tentative timeline is there too.  
Anything else I left out?"

Laguna smiled.  "Can't think of anything.  You're quite 
thorough, Xu.  I must commend you on that."

Xu smiled.  "That's only due to my SeeD training at Balamb 
Garden, Sir." Where I would love to be headed once this is 
over, she added mentally, but showed no outward sign.  "You 
should be complimenting Headmaster Cid for that."

"I will.  You know, if the three teams are as well-trained 
and efficient as you are, we'll have the Lunar Cry taken care 
of in no time." Laguna nodded to her.  "Good job, and thank 
you very much!  Dismissed."

Xu saluted and left the room, feeling a sense of 
accomplishment.  She took pride in always doing her job as 
well as possible.  At least she had managed to do that here.  
If nothing else, she could have a spotless record of 
accomplishment at this job.

***

Next up, soon as the Lunar Cry was over: Xu would be headed 
for the labs.  She was none too eager to do so, but again, it 
was her job.  She took orders and carried them out to the 
best of her ability.  Xu pondered that as she went back to 
her rooms.  It was strange to be here, in change of so many 
people, without Cid looking over her shoulder, without her 
friend Quistis, without hearing about Squall's latest 
mission. . .at that, she laughed aloud.  Well, *that* part 
would be taken care of soon enough.  Squall and two other 
SeeDs would be at the mission.  Xu was looking forward to it-
-seeing old friends, and the soon-to-be SeeDs.  It would be 
good to have some contact with her old life.

***

Knock, knock.

"Come in." Squall looked up from his sheets of papers--the 
mission briefs, courtesy of Xu.

The door opened.

"Matron!" Squall stood, surprised.  He looked back at his 
papers.  "Is, um, something the matter?"

"Matter?" Edea smiled.  "Not at all.  I was merely coming to 
check up on you, to see if things were going all right." She 
looked at him with a warm smile.  "You were always the self-
reliant one, even back in the lighthouse."

"Oh." Squall wasn't sure where the conversation was heading, 
so he decided to cut it off.  "Anyway.  Here are the plans Xu 
emailed over.  They look pretty good to me.  Anything you 
suggest?"

Edea took the papers and skimmed the information.  "Very 
thorough, that Xu." She handed them back to Squall.  "I meant 
your health.  You. . .were ill for a while, and nothing came 
of it?  I merely want to make sure that you will be all right 
during the mission.  Perhaps Cid was wrong to have sent you. 
. ."

"I'll be fine," Squall said hastily.  "That was nearly a 
month ago, and anyway, I'm fine." Well, a little tired at 
present, but that was different.  He stared at the papers, 
doing his best to avoid further conversation.

"Squall, Squall, I don't know how Rinoa got through to you if 
you don't care that others care for you." Edea--no, Matron 
stroked his hair a little, and Squall saw a hint of the 
mother in her.  "Quistis said that you seemed tired lately.  
I wanted to make sure."

"Wh-what?  I'm fine, I tell you." Squall didn't know what to 
say, or how to prove his statement.

Edea nodded.  "All right, then.  Squall, you were always. . 
.a special one to me.  Let's just put it this way: if any 
harm comes to you, I don't know how I'll face your mother on 
that day." She smiled warmly, her slate eyes boring into his 
cerulean ones.  "Understood?"

A fleeting sense of warmth ran through Squall, giving him a 
shiver and a fragment of memory, beckoning at him from a long 
time ago. . .but it left as fast as it had come.  So he 
ignored it.  "Yes. . .Matron."

Edea smiled and patted him.  "All right then.  Better get 
back to preparing your speech for your group." She got up and 
was out the door in a few seconds.

Squall shook his head with a slight smile.  "Matron. . 
.always looking out for us. . ." he flopped down on his bed 
and wondered about her words.  A speech.  Was he supposed to 
make a speech?  He hated talking.

"I don't know how I'll have your mother on that day."

Edea face his mother?  Was she going to try time compression 
and meet Squall's long-dead mother?  Something in her tone 
had sounded strained.  She was loving as always, especially 
to the SeeD cadets who had been her changes back at the 
orphanage.  There was something extra in her voice, calling 
to Squall, calling out to him to. . .

"Weird, I'm so dizzy." Squall realized that his heart was 
racing badly.  It jumped around, pounding in his chest 
cavity.  He could feel the vibrations thumping through his 
body.  With every beat, he felt the rush of hot blood through 
his fingers and toes.  Panic set in, as adrenaline flooded 
his system and went flying through his blood vessels.  His 
head started pounding, pulsating in pain with each lub-dub of 
his cardiac contractions.  Something was going wrong with his 
heart.  Why had the thought of Edea and his mother brought 
this?

Now the room started wavering again.  The pulses made his 
vision tremble and blur as he closed his eyes and put his 
hands over them.  Surely this would pass.  He wasn't' sick at 
all.  Just overly excited. . .that was all, just a sudden 
rush of adrenaline into his body, making him react like this.  
Squall tried to take a deep breath, but found that he 
couldn't.  He just couldn't catch his breath.  His lungs 
mocked him, telling him to breathe more, and harder, and 
faster. . .

. . .and his vision blurred for a moment. . .

~~~

Crying, always crying.

The woman hurried back into the house and looked at her 
child.  "Hush now, son. . .here are the herbs.  We will make 
you well, my dear. . ." A spicy smell wafted through the air, 
pungent in a way, fragrant in others.

Squall lay on a makeshift bed composed of dried grasses, 
covered with the threadbare blankets, the best this woman had 
to offer to her child.  Strange that she was giving it to 
him.

He could hear some sort of bubbling sound.  Steam rose into 
the air in thick white clouds, before dissipating out of the 
windows that were simply crude blocks cut from the frame of 
the house.  He winced at the sharp odor of the brew, and felt 
something strange in the air again.  There was a fractured 
quality about the atmosphere.  As if there were something 
crackling in the air, snapping like rocks in a molten pool of 
lava, or a water and oil mixture, popping in the air.  A 
tingle on his skin announced the strangeness to him.

"Drink." Her soft, fluid voice beckoned him.  Squall could 
not stand, and she came to him, her movements sure but with a 
strange reserve, as though she were in some sort of pain.

The thin woman came back to him, smiling sadly, and put a 
chipped clay bowl to Squall's lips.  The hot, strong-smelling 
liquid burned his tongue and assaulted his throat.  He 
coughed and gagged as the nasty brew fought its way down his 
throat into his stomach.  It roiled and grumbled as it 
settled down.

"So sorry, child, I know this is painful and undesirable," 
the woman murmured, "but it must be done, right, child?  If 
you wish to survive, you must drink this.  I am so sorry that 
you are so weak. . .it is my fault for not taking care of you 
while you were still inside of me." She cupped his chin with 
her hands and stared into his eyes.  "Your eyes are just like 
mine.  I am so glad, child.  Your father had so little part 
in you.  You are almost descended from myself only.  Oh, that 
there were more of your father in you. . .I wish he had not 
died. . .and why did I say what I had said to him?" She shook 
her head, remembering what she had said, and it was not 
pleasant.

Squall stared at her.  "Who are you?"

"Hush, child.  No need to try to talk.  You need rest.  You 
will be better, you will see.  And maybe soon, we can go 
somewhere else.  Somewhere with beautiful flowers and trees, 
somewhere with wide plains, under the golden sun.  Won't you 
like that, child?" She carried him back to the bed and set 
him there.  "Now rest.  Perhaps the herbs will yet work, if 
you are careful." She drew the covers over him and knelt on 
the cold dirt floor, watching him.

She hummed a tune softly, her breath coming shaky, warm and 
moist.

o/~

Baby, baby, child so sweet,
Close your eyes and fall asleep.
Moonlight shines in darkened sky,
Starlight gives you wings to fly.

Will you stay here right by me?
Clasp my hand; follow my feet.
I your mother, you my son
Two hearts together as one.

o/~

Squall's eyes opened wide as the simple cadence and lilting 
tune floated on air, from the woman's crystal-clear, 
unaffected voice.  His own mother, he was sure, had sung that 
song to him as a child.  No!  Edea had sung it to her 
children as a lullaby!  He remembered.  Selphie had always 
loved it and begged Edea to teach it to her.  Edea had 
consented, of course.  Did Selphie still know that song?  
Maybe he could ask her where it came from--or rather, who.

He felt himself lulled to sleep by the peaceful tune.  It 
sang of childhood dreams gone by. . .of sugar-white beaches 
with soft, fine sand, where Selphie built her fortresses to 
play her "war" games.  It spoke of the stone houses where 
they played hide and seek with Matron and her husband.  The 
melody brought back memories of sitting, huddled together, 
while the rain pounded on the roof and howled around the 
stones, and the children sat warm and comfortable, wrapped in 
thin blankets, around a fire, listening to Matron tell 
stories.  Squall thought back to roasting chestnuts with 
Seifer and Zell, and then getting into fights over the food.  
He remembered Ellone helping out, especially affectionate 
with him, always talking to him, giving him a little piece of 
candy, or comforting him when the tears came.  Memories flew 
back, of Edea tucking in the children, taking them to her 
flower field, letting them work and play in a small garden, 
and distributing the goodnight kisses at bedtime.

Strange, that a song could evoke all the memories which were 
once erased.  Something about the words were always 
melancholy to Squall.  Why was the mother begging the child 
to stay?  What kind of kid would leave a loving mother?  He 
certainly would never have.

The woman's eyes closed as she sang, and she stroked Squall's 
hair and his face, as though he was the baby she always saw.  
She gazed at him then, and her lips formed words, but he 
could not hear nor read them.  She whispered something into 
the air, and Squall flinched, as the crystalline aura became 
stronger.  Then she closed her eyes and murmured something to 
Squall.

She leaned down and kissed him on both cheeks, and bid him 
sleep well. . .

~~~

Squall's head jerked up, then back.  Where had that come 
from?  Slowly, he shook his head.  Better not get weird 
dreams right before an important and dangerous mission.  
Maybe. . .maybe it came from Ellone?  No, he had seen her at 
the party, and she was in contact with him through Esthar's 
system--and she had said nothing to him.  Surely she would 
*tell* him if something was going on.  SO it was just a weird 
dream, a figment of his imagination?  That was more likely, 
but. . .

But that song!  Where was Edea now?  He wanted, urgently, to 
talk to her, to beg her to tell him about that song, and to 
tell him, and maybe the entire orphanage gang at Garden. . 
.stories.  He suddenly realized that not every memory from 
his childhood was painful.  This traumatized child still had 
a few bright spots in his past, and he wanted to know them.

Darn, he thought.  Was that from my dreams--am I remembering 
Matron in my younger days?  Squall tried to think.  Perhaps. 
. .the rooms were awfully small and cramped, and the 
infirmary *was* wooden, and there *was* a flower field 
outside, with flowers and plenty of herbs.  Maybe. . .and 
that song. . .but no, I'm not Edea's son.  Maybe this is from 
my mother, before the war?  These must be mixed-up memories, 
and I have to separate the real from the fictional. . .the 
true dreams from the nightmares, the truth from the lies. . 
.I have to talk to Matron now. 

He brushed his hair out of his eyes, and went to search for 
Matron.  Besides, he could use a little help on that speech 
he needed to write.

***

"Quistis. . .are you _sure_ you're all right?"

Selphie peered into her friend's piercing blue eyes.  Those 
eyes looked a little haunted, as if by something unseen.  
This bothered Selphie, always the sensitive one.  "What's 
wrong?  Or should I heave you alone for a bit?"

The two friends sat at a little table in the cafeteria.  The 
open-air center was wonderful, seeing as Balamb usually 
didn't have snow, and even then, only a little.  Breezes 
gently swished through the courtyard, picking up bits of 
leaves and flower petals.

Quistis glanced at her caring friend, and smiled.  "No, no. . 
.it's all right.  Sit with me for a bit; maybe I'll tell you 
later." She tugged at her clothes.  "For one, I'm no longer 
an instructor.  While we were fighting, it didn't matter, but 
now. . .I feel so useless."

"That's crazy," objected Selphie, quite shocked.  "You helped 
us defeat Ultimecia.  What do you mean you feel useless?" She 
counted on her fingers.  "You trained Squall, you helped us 
get Adel, and helped Edea, and helped save Rinoa, and 
everything. . .how can you say that?"

Quistis smiled.  "Well, I always wanted to be an instructor.  
Fighting is fine, but if there's nothing being taught in the 
process, it's a waste.  Here I am, a mercenary soldier for 
hire, and no meaningful mission.  That's why I wanted to 
teach."

"You did teach for a while.  What happened?"

"'No leadership qualities'," Quistis quoted with a hint of 
bitterness.  "I wasn't a good teacher.  I think it came down 
to my being too easy on the students.  I don't get it, seeing 
as Squall was my star, and look what he accomplished." She 
fiddled with her fingers.  "Well, anyway. . .I could try 
again in a few more years, if I'm not already dispatched 
somewhere else."

"Oh, c'mon!" Selphie exclaimed.  "This should be exciting!  
We can see the world, we can travel, and we can fight for 
justice!  What's wrong with that?"

Quistis patted Selphie on the back.  "I love your 
cheerfulness, Selphie. . .but I never wanted to travel that 
much.  I wanted to stay here.  Many armies recruit from 
Garden, and I could have been out of Balamb the day I passed 
the SeeD exam, if I had wanted.  But I wanted to stay close 
to home.  This is my home."

Selphie nodded.  "I know what you're saying.  But if I hadn't 
left Trabia, I never would have found you guys and Irvine!  I 
never woulda gotten a chance to fight in all those big 
battles!" She sobered a little.  "I guess. . .change sucks, 
yeah, but sometimes, it's good.  I liked Trabia.  I loved the 
year-round snow, and all my friends there.  But when I had to 
transfer, I had to transfer.  I didn't like it, but I told 
myself that I would deal just fine, and that maybe something 
good would come out of it.  And that's what happened."

"Why _did_ you have to transfer?"

Selphie winced.  "Well, actually, that Garden got really 
small.  Too many students, so the ones ready to leave--those 
who finished training already--basically got kicked out and 
we were all handed transfer forms.  Everyone wanted to go to 
Galbadia 'cause Trabia Garden actually split from them.  I 
didn't really have any friends in that group, so I came to 
Balamb."

"That's terrible," Quistis murmured.  "Cid should have a talk 
with the headmaster of that place.  We're the main Garden in 
the world, so perhaps we could contribute a little to the 
rebuilding of that place."

Selphie nodded.  "Irvine said that he wanted to go there 
sometime.  I can't imagine why he's want to go there."

"What did you tell him?"

A sudden flush came over Selphie's innocent face.  "I. . .I 
wanted him to stay, but I just told him that he can do 
whatever.  I guess that wasn't the best way to go about it. . 
."

"No, it certainly wasn't," Quistis agreed with a little 
laugh.  "Irvine. . .he does like you, I think."

Selphie looked away.  "Whatever."

"Now you're beginning to sound like Squall!" Quistis chided 
her friend.  "What's up with that?  I thought you liked 
Irvine."

"Sure I do, but if he doesn't quit chasing after skirts. . .I 
don't want somebody like that!  He's such a jerk that way." 
She frowned and glared at the bench.  "If it weren't for 
that, maybe. . .maybe I would have said something different." 
She started playing with her fingers.

Quistis laid an arm on Selphie's shoulder.  "I know.  But if 
you show that you're serious, maybe he'll stop searching and 
settle on you.  Isn't that so?" She sat back and smiled.  
"Seems to me he wants to find someone out there who loves 
him.  If you're the one, then--"

"All right, all right!  I get the idea." Selphie grinned.  
"Anyway!  You said that the instructor business was 'to begin 
with'.  What's the rest?"

"Huh?" Quistis felt annoyed at the younger girl's presence of 
mind and sharpness.  "That one is my own business.  I'll take 
care of it myself."

Selphie clucked her tongue.  "Now who's acting like Squall?  
You were his teacher, after all.  Maybe you're just picking 
up what he does!"

"Humph. . ." Quistis smiled.  "That would be interesting to 
see.  Wonder what Squall would say if he saw us like that?"

"Whatever." Selphie laughed, as did Quistis.  Three girls 
walking by waved at the pair, and they laughed and waved 
back.

***

"Give it here, Kinneas!  That's *my* hot dog!" Zell dove for 
the place, only to have an Exeter block his path.  Irvine 
grinned.  "Hey!  I've been at this place for a month and a 
week, and I haven't even tried one of these yet!"

"Try someone else's food, not mine!" Zell tried to use an 
Aikido throw on Irvine, but the sharpshooter apparently knew 
how to block that, too.  He flicked the plate with the barrel 
of the gun and the hot dog flew into the air.  The gun 
pointed up and shot it.  With a neat snap, the food broke in 
two and each person received a half.  "Ha!  Not bad, huh?  A 
trick I learned at Galbadia Garden."

Zell grinned as he swallowed.  "Nice!  Will you use that next 
time Squall gets to the food before I do?" He grabbed a 
napkin and started to wipe his face.  "Cause that would be 
pretty useful, since he gets up earlier than I do."

"Maybe, maybe not." Irvine ate more slowly, and savored the 
flavor.  "Hmm, they sure don't fight over nothing.  These hot 
dogs _are_ good." He picked up his gun.  "Sorry.  Gotta do 
some practice at the shooting range.  Cid found two guys who 
said they would practice with me."

"Nice!  Yeah, it wouldn't hurt if I went sparring a little 
too," Zell noted.  "See you later!" He grabbed his tray and 
plates, went to the trash disposal, and tossed the refuse in.  
He set the dark plastic tray on top, and wondered what to do 
next.

"That's right!" His girlfriend-to-be was a student of the 
staff.  Maybe they could go to the martial arts training room 
together.

***

"Squall, Squall. . .why are you asking this?"

Matron Edea sat at her desk, a slight furrow between her 
fine, dark eyebrows.  Her white hands thoughtfully played 
with a pen on her mahogany desk.  She turned in her swiveling 
chair to face Squall.

He swallowed.  In the dark violet blouse and the dark gray 
dress, she was the same Matron as the one of his childhood.  
"Because I. . .remember it, and I thought that we sang it 
once.  Or, well, you sang it.  I just want to know if I'm 
right.  You know, I want to know about that song."

"Is that so." Edea thought about it as she carefully studied 
Squall's face.  He looked nervous.  There was, obviously, 
something behind his question.  Besides, there was no way 
Squall of all people would come to her, asking about a simple 
childhood lullaby.  "When did you remember?"

Squall fidgeted.  He didn't want to talk about the dizzying 
experience, nor the heart-racing that worried even himself.  
"I was just thinking, and I sort of remembered the words.  
You sang it, right?" Something about him seemed desperate, 
hoping that Edea would say yes.  He wanted confirmation that 
he was right, that he had caught a fragment of his childhood 
memory.  Something about him called out to Edea, and she had 
a growing suspicion.  Perhaps. . .

"Yes, I did sing it to the children." She smiled gently.  
"You and Selphie, especially, loved that song.  I sang many 
lullabies, but for you, that was the only one.  You wouldn't 
sleep if I sang anything else."

"Oh." Squall looked a little embarrassed now.  "Where'd it 
come from?"

Edea arched an eyebrow.  "Well, my mother taught it to me." 
As far as she could remember, her own mother--who had died 
when Edea was just ten--had sung that song to her, every 
night, without fail.  "She died when I was a child, so that 
song had special significance to me.  I sang it to you 
children because of that.  Does that answer satisfy you?"

A smile broke out on Squall's lips.  "Yes, Matron.  The 
memories are coming back."

"Ah." Edea had a sudden thought, and gestured to a hardwood 
chair.  "Sit, Squall.  I sense that there is something more 
you are after.  Come on and ask the question.  I won't 
begrudge you an answer."

"All right." Squall bit his lip.  *Why* wasn't Selphie here?  
"I was wondering. . .about the orphanage and all.  I was 
trying to remember events from that time, and I could hardly 
think of anything."

"Searching for your past?" Edea smiled.  "That's a noble 
enough goal, Squall.  So you've come to find out more about 
your childhood and history, I take it?  From the look on your 
face, I'd say yes." For Squall had a hungry, searching 
brilliance in his dark blue eyes.  Something was burning in 
the back of his mind, spurred on by the shattered bits he had 
found in his dreams.  "Certainly I can tell you stories.  
Such as the day I found you. . .or if you would, more 
cheerful stories, like our first New Year's party, or the 
time Seifer teased Quistis and you beat him to a pulp. . 
.which stories would you like?"

Squall considered, and fought back a strange sting in his 
eyes.  "The day you found me, I suppose." He wasn't sure he 
wanted to hear it that much, but he had to know where he was 
from, who he was, and Matron's strange fondness for him.

"All right, then." Edea acquired a thoughtful, faraway look 
in her eyes.  "Well, you must have been about four at the 
time.  It was the last, but the worst and bloodiest year of 
the Sorceress War, which you will recall, was started by 
Esthar. . .ahh, that's for later.  Cid was away, doing some 
odd jobs.  I was in our lighthouse, thinking about how I had 
started this orphanage.  I had Quistis by then. . .certainly 
Zell, Seifer, Irvine, and Selphie were all there.  Yes, you 
were the last.  Ellone was my first charge, but that's 
another story."

So many stories, buried in the broken pieces, shattered 
remains of the past.  Squall nodded.  "Who was my mother?"

Edea sighed.  "A woman named. . .Raiha. . .brought you to me.  
She was from the town of Tyre, she said.  She was a beautiful 
young woman, with golden hair and dark brown eyes. . .but 
very young, and very tired." Her peaceful eyes bore into 
Squall's troubled ones.  "She was dying of starvation, 
Squall.  She and you were the only survivors on a shipwrecked 
refugee boat from the north, in Trabia.  Seems that she gave 
all she had to feed you.  And you, too, were very ill and 
dying.  So she gave you to me, and begged me to raise you.  
Of course I said yes.  She told me your name was Squall, and 
said that her last name was Lockport, but she would prefer 
that you have a lion's heart, and so, together, we named you 
Squall Leonhart." Edea, too, felt a prickling behind her eyes 
and a slight burn.  She paused, then continued without 
faltering.

"She gave me to you, and I asked her to stay a little, since 
I had food for the children and I still had enough space for 
one or two people.  She declined, and I asked why.  She said 
she did not need it."

"Why?!" Squall fairly jumped from his chair.  His mother 
could have survived then!  She could have stayed on and 
helped Matron.  He would have had a mother, then.  He would 
have known love, a true mother's love.

"She went outside, and after I had given you some food and 
medicine, I went out to see where she was.  Raiha was in the 
flower field. . .and she was already dead.  When she came to 
me, Squall, I saw death in her eyes.  She brought you to me 
with her last bits of energy.  She knew she would not last 
much longer, and wanted you safe, and not in the hands of 
goodness-knows-what." Edea finished painfully, regret and 
sadness weaving threats of tension in her smooth voice.  
"Squall, your. . .mother. . .loved you very much."

Squall sat, silent.  So his mother was a Raiha Lockport.  
Yes, she was from Tyre, which Edea had told him before.  She 
had loved him.  Yes, somebody had loved him in his forsaken 
childhood.  Now he knew what she looked like.  Pretty, with 
blond hair and brown eyes.  A woman weak in body at her last, 
but still strong in her spirit.  A woman who had loved her 
child, to the point that she gave all she could to make sure 
that he was safe, warm, and loved, even if she could not be 
so or do so herself.

"We buried her," Edea said, anticipating a question of that 
nature.  "The flower field. . .on its outskirts is a 
graveyard for those we found, or the children we found. . .or 
those who did not survive." She swallowed a little.  "To tell 
the truth, Squall--you were so sick at the beginning, I 
thought you might end up there yourself."

"Oh." Squall was feeling a wave of sadness sweep over him 
again.  His mother's body was lying, under earth, under dirt, 
somewhere, under a carpet of green grass and beautifully 
delicate flowers.  And he might have joined her?

"Ellone was seven or eight at the time, and a very good 
little helper.  She watched you when I could not, Squall.  I 
think that's why you were so fond of her.  She saved you." 
Edea had a look of fond remembrance on her face.  "She gave 
you the medicine, and fed you broth when I was attending to 
the other children.  And you, Squall!  You clung to her as 
though she were your mother.  You started calling her 'Sis', 
and all the other children followed." Edea sighed.  "I'm glad 
that Ellone is back in Esthar with Laguna."

Squall nodded.  He dared not speak, for fear of tears.  He 
had never cried yet.  "Doesn't she have a place in Winhill?"

"Yes.  She and Laguna lived in one house--she was his ward, 
and a very loved one, you'll remember.  Yes, they still go 
there for vacations, or just to relax.  Since Laguna was 
married to Raine, Ellone's adopted 'mother', they really 
share a special bond." Edea's voice, a mother's voice, spoke 
fondly of the children she had raised.  "Yes.  That's that 
story.  Anything else you would like to hear, Squall?  I will 
refuse you nothing." She smiled, slight dimples on both 
cheeks.  "You were always my favorite, even at the 
orphanage."

"Why?" The strange question popped out.

"I do not know." Edea placed her hands in her lap.  She hid a 
flinch at the question.  Some memories were best left for 
another time, another place.  Now was not the time for 
answers to those questions.

Squall stood.  "Thank you for everything, Matron.  I think. . 
.I think I'd better get back to my own work." Yeah, right.  
More likely, he would be ruminating over the information he 
had just heard, thinking about his mother and trying to grasp 
more of his elusive childhood.

Edea knew exactly what he was thinking.  "Do that, Squall.  
And please, there is no need to worry.  The cadets love you, 
and you will lead them to a wonderful mission in Esthar." She 
stood and bowed a little.  "I will see you later."

"Goodbye, Matron." Squall could not help calling her that as 
he walked across the floor, opened the heavy wooden door, and 
walked out.

***

"NO!  I already SAID!" Xu glared, exasperated.  "I'm going to 
supervise, not to sit around in the office and watch the 
battle from my liquid crystal screen!  I'm the general.  I'm 
supposed to be there, fighting with them!"

Kiros backed up a little.  "President Laguna would feel safer 
if you remained safe, General. . .Ma'am. . .Miss Xu?" He 
fidgeted, eyes on the katana in its sheath on her belt.  "I 
really think that he has a point there."

"No." Xu drew out the blade with a lightning-swift motion, 
and a soft scrape of steel announced the presence of the 
ancient, antique weapon.  "I'll be there, with the rest of 
them.  Maybe not in front, but I'll be there.  They should 
know that I am in charge, and that I care for the mission." 
She looked at Kiros with a critical glance.  "At least, I 
thought that's how it went."

Kiros nodded.  "I feel the same. . .President Laguna said 
that you could choose.  In his own words, 'I don't want her 
dead as soon as I've hired her.  It looks pretty bad.'" He 
laughed, as did Xu.

"Well, well.  When do the SeeDs arrive?"

Xu smiled as she organized some papers on her desk.  "Tonight 
and tomorrow morning, depending on the transportation.  
Squall's A-team gets to take the Ragnarok, which I'm piloting 
personally.  The other two are taking the supersonic jet that 
these two students over at Balamb Tech University designed 
just for the Garden." She smiled.  "Gotta love technology."

Kiros agreed heartily.  "Hey, we're in Esthar after all.  
We're the country of technology." Then he scowled a little.  
"Thanks to mister Mad Scientist Odine."

Xu made a face.  "Rot him.  I think is Esthar citizens had 
their way, he'd be up there in space right with Adel."

"They'd get along just fine.  Odine would have something to 
research." Kiros laughed as he looked at Xu's sheaf of 
papers.  "I take it we're all ready for the Lunar Cry?  The 
signals are intensifying at the usual rate.  We know that 
they should reach the maximum tomorrow noon."

"Good." Xu replaced the katana carefully, smoothed her 
general's uniform, and took one last look around the room.  
"It's 1400 hours right now.  Have the Ragnarok prepared, so 
that at 1700 hours it will be ready for a trip to Balamb."

Kiros saluted.  "Yes, General."

***

"Curses!" Rinoa kicked the spellbook, which smugly stayed 
shut and didn't budge from its position on her bed.  "I hate 
this!  Studying magic is the stupidest thing!  Why am I even 
doing this?  Why can't a sorceress just know inherently how 
to use her powers?  Why?" She flung a finger at it, and a 
little stream of flame came spurting out.  Rinoa looked at 
her hand in surprise.  "Wow.  I did learn a little something 
back there."

"Good job." Zell came into the room.  "Hey, uh, sorry to 
bother you, but have you seen Squall this afternoon?"

Rinoa shook her head.  "We had breakfast together, but then I 
had to study, and he had to work on the mission or something 
like that.  He said that his team is leaving for Esthar this 
evening at six o' clock."

"Oh.  Mind if I come in for a bit?" Zell didn't want for an 
answer, knowing that he wouldn't be needing one.  He dropped 
into a chair.  "Dang, but I'm tired.  I sparred with Safiya 
for a good two hours."

Rinoa giggled.  "Wow, what's it like to fight with your 
girlfriend?"

Zell frowned.  "We were being friendly.  Maybe too much so.  
Anyway, practice went great.  She trains in the bo-staff, so 
we both did bare-handed fighting for the two hours.  She's 
great.  I can't believe she invented that new technique, the 
Flying Spiral Punch.  Gotta learn it from her sometime." He 
looked at her.  "And I saw those fireworks.  Nice work."

Rinoa smiled.  "Thank you.  You too." She sighed.  "Yeah, I'm 
looking for Squall too." She put the book away.  "I got a 
call from that man.  He really wants to see me, and he says 
that Watts and Zone put in some calls to him too.  I guess 
it's time I went back, just for a week or so, and said hi to 
everybody I left behind." She suddenly looked a little 
guilty.  "I've been neglecting my friends too much.  And I 
owe that man an apology, at least.  He did bail me out." She 
held a letter from her father in her hand, a letter she 
clutched tight until the thin paper was near tearing from her 
fist.

"Ah." Zell nodded.  "That's a good idea, Rinoa.  Family an' 
friends are important." He looked down.  "Especially when 
they're your real family, by blood, ya know?  Then you really 
gotta love 'em."

She remembered that he was adopted.  "Yes," she replied 
softly.  "Guess that's right.  And Watts and Zone are pretty 
happy that Timber is finally with Dollet again, now that 
Deling's been taken care of. . .Galbadia is back to its 
former size, more or less.  Dollet didn't make any 
unreasonable demands, thank goodness.  We don't need another 
war to break out over there.  It's messy enough over there 
already."

"Guess so.  I grew up in Balamb, though.  It was a nice city, 
always warm and friendly, but kinda boring at times.  I think 
I passed the time trying to beat up on stuff.  Like the 
punching bag Ma finally bought me at a junk shop."

Rinoa laughed.  "I grew up in that big ol' mansion.  Pretty 
nice, but empty at times.  And after Mom died, it wasn't the 
same." She sighed.  "But I guess I at least know who my 
mother was."

"Oh, I know who my mother was." Zell nodded.  "After I 
remembered all that junk about the orphanage, I went to Edea 
and asked her.  She told me that a couple from Balamb dropped 
me off.  They were on a loaded refugee boat in from Balamb, 
and I was the only kid who survived the voyage.  She also 
said that the next boat brought Squall over." He looked at 
his hands thoughtfully.  "Funny, it always seemed that 
genetically, I'm just like my adopted parents."

"That's all right." Rinoa smiled at him.  "But I've got to go 
now.  I want to find Squall and tell him that I'm leaving 
tomorrow morning."

Zell stood up.  "Okay.  See you later, then."

***

"Leaving tomorrow, huh." Squall smiled.  "I'm glad you're 
going to see your father again." He certainly wished that 
he'd known his own father.

"I. . .I don't know how much I really *want* to see that 
man," Rinoa admitted, doubt creeping into her voice.  "I 
hated him and his policies, and everything he did. . ."

Irvine cut her off.  "I know, but he's your father.  Not 
'that man'.  Rinoa, he's family." And if you can't be 
thankful that you know where you came from, he added 
silently, then you should try having no past to look back 
upon at all. . .

"He did all those nasty things!"

"He was a general, Rinoa," Quistis said gently.  "It wasn't 
right, but that's a General's job--to carry out the mission, 
to fight for his country.  What did he think of Deling?  Did 
he really like that guy?  Or was he afraid of execution?  I'm 
sure he's proud that his daughter is so brave.  When he 
visited his house before we went to Esthar. . .you weren't 
there, Rinoa, but he told us to look after you.  Rinoa, he 
loves you.  Go back to him, say hi, make up with him.  It's 
the least you can do for your own father."

Squall broke in awkwardly.  "They're right, Rinoa." He didn't 
know what else to say.  He didn't know what he could say 
without offending her.  Ambitious, but still, General Caraway 
cared for and loved his daughter.  He wanted her to be safe, 
and he had gotten her out of jail instead of letting her rot.  
Didn't Rinoa understand all those things?

Rinoa looked at Squall angrily.  "Don't tell me that you're 
against me, too."

"Against?" Squall shook his head.  "No. . .I just think that. 
. ." He didn't want to say something wrong, so he fell back 
on his old trick of saying nothing at all.  He hoped that 
Rinoa could guess his thoughts, and the thoughts of her 
friends around her.  "You know."

"No, I don't know!" Rinoa stamped a foot.  "I'm going back 
because he wants to see me, okay?  I don't know what to 
expect or anything, but. . .but I'm going to do whatever I 
think is right.  He's my father, okay?  Just like you all 
said.  So I know him best, and I'm gonna deal in the best way 
for me."

"That's all we ask." Quistis nodded.  Rinoa was getting in a 
temper, and most of it seemed to be directed at Squall, who 
was saying little.  Well, now, he was saying nothing at all.

Squall sighed.  Rinoa didn't know what it was like to have no 
family.  How could she underestimate the importance of 
heritage?  He wanted to say something about it, but still, 
the right words just would not come.

"You guys don't understand what it was like, growing up in 
the same house, under the same roof as that man!" Rinoa 
glowered.

"That's 'cause we grew up in an orphanage," Selphie offered.  
"I'm sure your dad loves you, Rinoa.  He isn't abusive, is 
he?  Anyway, I believe that inside every parent, no matter 
what, still lies love for the child.  His or her own flesh 
and blood.  How could he hate you?  No way.  He did the wrong 
things, but d'you really think he did 'em 'cause he hated 
you?"

Rinoa's dark eyes clouded over.  "But we. . ."

"Did you ever talk with your dad?" Quistis put a hand on 
Rinoa's shoulder.  "I know this is painful for you, but. . 
.you like to talk, don't you?  You're not shy.  You offer 
your opinions to anyone, no matter how unfamiliar.  You 
should not hesitate to speak your mind to your own father."

"I did, but he. . .we. . .I gave up." Rinoa stared at her 
feet.  "I figured that it was hopeless, so I ran away and 
joined the Forest Owls.  Watts and Zone were glad to have me 
'cause I brought a lot of money with me.  They thought of me 
as a sister.  I felt more at home with them than I did with 
my own father."

"And that's understandable," Quistis replied.  "So long as 
you don't forget that you came of your father, Nicholas 
Caraway.  Look, I hate to say this, but maybe he thought what 
he was doing was right.  Maybe he wanted to expand Galbadia's 
borders was all.  Maybe he didn't dare to go against 
President Deling for some reason or other.  You'll never find 
out if you don't go back there and talk to him about it.  
Right?" She cocked her head.  "I don't like his policies any 
more than you probably do.  But the general of Dollet, where 
Timber was, acted the exact same way." She paused.  "General 
Caraway did wrong.  But that doesn't mean you should shun him 
and never talk to him, when he clearly cares for you."

Selphie spoke up again.  "Maybe if you'd talked to him more 
instead of running away, you would have had a bigger 
influence on him, you know?  Deling was a nasty president.  I 
doubt that the general felt like getting executed because he 
didn't do as the guy ordered.  Isn't that what happened to 
the Secretary of State?  Riles didn't want to post 
propaganda, and bam!  He got executed pretty fast.  Just like 
how they were going to execute Seifer."

Rinoa cringed at the mention of Seifer, and at the thought 
that her father might have been acting under threats.  Then 
she sighed.  "Yes, you guys are right.  It's just that. . 
.well, I guess I disagreed so strongly that it got hold of 
me.  I still don't get along with him, but it's worth a try.  
After all, like you all said, maybe there's a reason." She 
sighed and stared at Squall.

He nodded, almost imperceptibly.  His friends had made a good 
argument.

"And, and," Selphie added, "now that the war is over and 
Deling has been imprisoned by the temporary government, 
perhaps you can talk to your dad and make him realize how 
wrong he was."

Squall nodded.

Rinoa sighed and played with her hands.  "All right.  You've 
made your point.  That man--um, my father *did* apologize for 
neglecting me and for following some policies. . .he wrote a 
nice letter to me."

"See?" Zell smiled encouragingly.  "You'll get along great 
with him.  That's important.  Get along with your dad." He 
nodded.

"Okay." Rinoa, without any more words, turned and ran back 
towards her room.

Squall stared after her.  "I hope she makes up with him."

Selphie nodded.  "Hope they have a good time together."

Quistis sighed.  "Maybe he can be normal now.  I heard he was 
a pretty decent general until Mr. Fascist Dictator Deling 
rolled around."

Irvine nodded.  "Hey, if Julia Heartilly married him, he had 
to be a good guy at the time.  They fell in love, after all."

Zell just smiled.

***

Xu sighed as she got into the piloting area of the Ragnarok.  
If nothing else, it was easy to pilot.  Besides, she had an 
assistant to help her out.  They should reach Balamb in no 
time.  This was good, because Squall was supposed to have 
dinner with President Laguna, just as a chance to talk with 
each other.  Xu was supposed to join in as well.  She figured 
she might enjoy it.

"Read for takeoff!" Xu noted that everything was in order, 
and fired up the engines.  With a smooth, high-pitched noise, 
the red Esthar ship started to move forward, down the runway.

***

Squall swung his gunblade.  The solid-silver Griever image 
whirled in a circle on its silver chain as Squall cut 
patterns in the air with his blade.

It made a satisfying sound, as it sliced through the air, 
buzzed in his hands, and broke the sound barrier.  For such 
was his skill and expertise.  He would need it all for the 
upcoming battle, especially if Adel, unexpected, put in her 
appearance.  The weapon was at home in his hands.  Squall 
reluctantly put it down, but help on holding it.  Traditional 
holsters and scabbards wouldn't hold a gunblade, so he had to 
hold it at the ready if he wanted to use it.

The roar in the sky was the Ragnarok coming down for a 
landing.  Squall shielded his eyes and looked up.  Six o' 
clock, as promised, and on their way.  Xu had made good her 
word.

The ship touched ground a few miles outside of Garden and 
gracefully glided down the specially modified roads right 
outside of Garden.  With a loud, screeching sound, the ship 
slowed down and came to a nice halt right outside of the 
Garden Gates.  Within a minute, the back door opened, and Xu 
came out, dressed in a uniform with a katana in a scabbard by 
her side.

"Squall!" Xu was so happy to see Garden again that she 
practically skipped all the way from the ship to the Garden's 
gates.  "Ready?"

"Yes." Squall looked at her and the way she was taking in 
Garden, trying to store up some quick, precious memories 
before they had to head back for Esthar.  "We're all ready.  
Five cadets, and myself." He gestured to the neat line of 
students behind him, three male and two female.  "Also, Ma--
um, Edea wanted to know if you would like her to come along.  
To help out if Adel showed up."

Xu frowned.  "Tonight we can use the HD cable network to 
communicate online, or I can put in a call or two." Esthar 
was one of the only nations with special HD cables that 
weren't cut by monsters.  Balamb, having SeeD, were always in 
correspondence with other countries.  Communication was no 
problem.  "How does that sound?"

Squall nodded.  "Great.  Let's board the ship." He glanced 
back.  Three figures were running up to the Garden gates.  
"Um, wait a sec.  I see someone coming."

They looked back, and saw Rinoa, Selphie, and Zell, trying to 
reach the party before the Ragnarok took off.  The three 
waved, and they arrived, panting and slightly out of breath.

Rinoa hugged Squall.  "Have a good time in Esthar, okay?  
Please be careful when you're fighting those monsters and 
Adel. . ." she smiled at him, and Squall smiled back, knowing 
that they would miss each other.

"Yes, do take care." Selphie smiled and clapped.  "Wow, it 
must be so exciting!  You'll have to tell us everything when 
you come back!"

"Squall, man!  Enjoy yourself.  An' Quistis and Irvine said 
take care too, but they're kind of busy." Zell nodded and 
laughed.  "Anyhow, enjoy Esthar."

"Bye." Squall waved to his friends, and started to board the 
ship.

***

Edea sighed as she poured herself a little coffee.  Cid had 
convinced her to drink a little occasionally.  They could 
just sit in their own room, at the dining table, drink 
coffee, and just talk about anything.  Good bonding time.

She wondered about the upcoming mission.  Squall had defeated 
Adel once already.  It should not be a problem for him to do 
so again.  He was supposed to single-handedly take on Adel 
while everyone else destroyed the monsters she brought down.  
Not a problem for him, right?

But Edea was still uneasy.  Squall was an accomplished 
fighter and could use para-magic like a pro, but he wasn't a 
sorcerer.  With the ward up that Laguna mentioned in their 
last correspondence, that should not be a problem, but Edea 
did not want to underestimate the enemy.  She had known Adel 
for a long time, every since her childhood and her discovery 
of her magic powers.  Adel was evil, but she was intelligent 
to boot.  She had the idea to work together with Ultimecia in 
the end.  She possessed Rinoa and gave her the sorceress's 
power in order to accomplish her goal.  Adel had ideas and 
she knew to use them.

Should Edea go to help the SeeDs just in case?  Cid would be 
very worried, but Edea knew how to take care of herself.  She 
could prevent Adel possessing her, but would Adel try it?  It 
seemed unreasonable, and there was no present goal.  Wreaking 
havoc in general seemed to be the only possibility of Adel's 
motives.  There was no chance of her conquering Esthar.  Xu, 
Laguna, and of course, Squall, would see to that.

She sighed.  There was plenty of things that she didn't know.  
If only she knew what Adel was thinking, then she could take 
more preventative measures.  But Edea didn't want to possess 
Adel, not with the possibility of it being a trap to ensnare 
her mind and combine her power with that of Adel.

What to do, what to do?

Edea thought about Squall.  Poor thing, he wanted to reclaim 
his memories.  Well, Edea just had to be careful about what 
she revealed--the horror that was the Sorceress War, what had 
caused it, and all the layers of bitter tragedy that had led 
to each child being placed in her orphanage.  Certainly, they 
could handle the truth, but they were still children 
themselves, in a way.  They would always be *her* children.  
She could never let them go.  A smile played around her lips.  
Edea could not have any children, and so she had resorted to 
this.  The fond mother, trying to walk the line between being 
too hard on her children and letting them out into the world 
without her protection.

Ahh, the children were growing up.  They had left behind the 
cradles and were going into the wide world. . .the dangerous 
world, but a world full of love and affection nonetheless.  
Evil and dark, but also bright with hope.  Edea and Cid had 
devoted themselves to raising the seeds, the hopes, and the 
future.  That was their mission, and Edea, always motherly, 
reveled in her position in life.

"They will do well," she whispered to herself.  "They are my 
children.  I have done my best, and it is time to see how 
they grow up."

Her role now was to wait, to watch, to hope, and to pray.

***

"Are they comfortable in their quarters?"

Xu and Squall were taking a stroll down the glassy corridor 
of the Palace, on their way to the President's private 
banquet room.  It was rather small, as he liked privacy and 
casualness.  Crowds and the formality of state banquets made 
him uneasy, as did the planning of those affairs.

"Yes.  They got settled in their individual rooms, and I got 
mine too." Squall thought of the nearly opulent quarters the 
SeeDs had been given.  He had never slept in a room that 
large before, and it was for himself only.  At least Xu got 
to enjoy a few luxuries here in Esthar.  "It was good."

"Laguna prizes himself on hospitality." Xu smiled.  "I hope 
you enjoy it here. . .and I don't really remember where this 
dinner is supposed to be.  We haven't had anything like this 
yet."

Squall shrugged.  "Whatever."

They walked in silence down the plastic tube.  The cadets 
would be served collectively as far as dinner was concerned.

Squall looked outside, taking in the bright lights, the pale 
colors of glass and plastic, the shiny glint of metal, and 
all the wonders that surrounded him.  "Esthar's weird.  So 
technologically advanced, but still shut off from the world, 
and it's got so many problems, what with the Lunar Cry and 
all."

Xu nodded.  "Rumor has it that Hyne, the Great Sorceress, is 
entombed somewhere beneath Esthar's infrastructure, and 
that's why the monsters all collect there.  Silly tales, but 
they may have truth in them.  I'd like to see Odine drill 
into the rock base to find a sorceress's remains.

"Would he every try that?"

"Maybe.  If he tries, we won't let him." Xu shuddered at the 
thought.  If those stupid stories were true, then they would 
have more on their hands than a mad scientist.  "It's 
probably not true, though.  Even the remains of a sorceress 
would give off a certain wavelength of magical energy.  
There's none of that under the rocks in Esthar.  Adel was the 
only sorceress in Esthar, and she will be taken care of 
tomorrow." She looked at Squall.  "Assuming she shows up."

Squall nodded.  He noted that there was no doubt on Xu's part 
of his success in dispatching Adel.  "We will do our best." 
He was not very nervous anyhow.  This would be the second 
time, and this time, it would be much easier, because Rinoa 
would not be in the way, junctioned to Adel and making things 
hard.

"Good." Xu nodded, and they turned around a corner.  They had 
arrived at the room.  Xu pushed a button and a combination 
into a glassy control pad, and the metal door slid open with 
the hiss of cold air.

Laguna, Kiros, and Ward were waiting inside, sitting at a 
glass table covered with a white tablecloth.  The symbol of 
Esthar was embroidered in blue thread.  The three looked up 
at the visitors and waved, with friendly smiles.  A waiter 
sort of person was standing off to one site, holding a pad of 
paper.

"Our guests are here," Laguna said with a smile.  He waved 
them over.

Xu and Squall looked at each other, somewhat unsure of what 
to do.  Then they walked over to the table and sat down on 
two wooden chairs.  Kiros and Ward smiled at them.  "Just ask 
for whatever you want to eat.  We're just here to chat a 
little, and to relax a bit before the big event tomorrow."

Squall fidgeted.  He hated this kind of thing.  What was the 
point in putting on a show right before the actual battle?  
"Thanks." He felt rather left out--on the outside again, just 
looking at Laguna and his close friends, and even Xu, who 
belonged in Esthar, who was their general.  He was the 
tagalong.

Xu felt much the same, though she had no idea of what was 
going on in Squall's mind.  This is a waste of time, she 
thought, a little sullen.  Why can't we just sit together and 
plan?  Or do you have to make this into a family get-together 
deal?  You guys may be close buddies, but we're sure not. . 
.even after a month and a week or so here, I still feel so 
strange to be sitting here at the table.  I'm the only girl 
here.  Squall must be so much more comfortable here, with the 
boys.  He must enjoy it.

"May I take your orders?" The man finally came over and stood 
at the ready.

"Coffee," Xu said.

"A hot dog," Squall blurted out, then tried to fight his 
embarrassment.  Nobody even blinked.

"Shrimp salad," Kiros said.  "And Ward says he wants some 
chicken casserole."

"Don't you guys want to eat _anything_ good?" Laguna 
demanded.  "I'll order some actual food!" He did as he said, 
and the waiter went off to get the dinner.

***

Rinoa stared at her black suitcase.  Her train ticket for 
Timber left at twelve noon, so she would have to get out of 
Garden a little before them.  Well, I can get some news about 
Squall before I leave, she decided.  She checked her things.  
Clothes were all set.  She had some gifts for Watts and Zone.  
She had the letter from her father.  She had train tickets to 
and from Timber and Deling City.  She had her weapon 
concealed inside a handbag, just in case.  And she had the 
sorcery textbook to read during her ride.  It couldn't hurt 
to practice.

She wanted a photo of Squall to carry with her.  Selphie had 
made that videotape, but she had run out of batteries before 
filming Squall and Rinoa on the balcony.  Rinoa wasn't much 
of a photographer anyway.  Now that Squall was gone, she was 
going to have to hope that someone in this Garden had a photo 
of Squall from somewhere.

Quistis!  Squall was her student; she should have _something_ 
on her.  Rinoa jumped up from her bed and went to look for 
the woman.

***

"LAGUNA!  Who orders stir-fried rice, beef Stroganoff, and 
onion soup for a single dinner?  Are you nuts?" Kiros groaned 
as he looked at the spread.  "I mean, they're great, but I'm 
not so sure they belong together."

"Heck, eat up," said Laguna, a little embarrassed.  "It's 
good stuff."

Ward just shook his head.

Xu and Squall glanced at each other, faint smiles on both 
faces.  They were thinking the exact same thing about Laguna: 
"What a goof."

"Eat up." Laguna got up from his place and started shoveling 
some food onto his plate with a silver fork.  "They make real 
good food at this place."

"Do they." Xu tried to be polite.  She allowed Laguna to 
serve her, and then he heaped the food on everyone else's 
plates as well.  They sat back, passed around the coffee, and 
started eating slowly.  At least, everyone but Laguna ate 
slowly.  Ward and Kiros could only shake their heads..

"I dreamed I was a moron," Squall repeated to himself with a 
sigh.  Laguna was a good guy.  Now if only he could learn to 
be a little more normalized.  That would settle many issues.

Xu ate very slowly, and sipped the coffee more than she 
touched her fork.  She didn't really feel like eating, though 
she had to admit that the food was amazingly good.  What she 
ate, she did like.

"All right!  Now, we're here to get to know each other, so 
let's just talk." Laguna waved his linen napkin in the air.  
"Squall!  Are you ready for tomorrow's mission, Commander?"

Squall looked a little nervous, now that the serious talk had 
started.  "We've all done our best to prepare for this, Sir.  
We have trained long and hard, and I just hope that it can 
work out well." He glanced at Xu.  "And I'm sure that we are 
organized and ready."

Xu nodded, unsure of what to say.  "I think the planning can 
only go so far, and that we must rely on each individual 
soldier." She drank more coffee, poured herself another cup, 
and stirred in cream while the conversation hung in air.

"Yeah, that's always good, to recognize that." Laguna sounded 
casual, but by now Xu knew that this tone of voice meant that 
he was dead serious.  He was just incapable of sounding 
serious in the traditional sense.  Laguna thoughtfully ate 
some of the rice.  "That's why we have to motivate them as 
well as we can, all the time!" now he waved his fork in the 
air, making passionate and dramatic gestures while Kiros and 
Ward looked at each other and steadily continued eating.

Xu drank more coffee.  Squall looked at her.  In a very soft 
tone he whispered, "Is that guy always like this?"

She considered.  "More or less.  I don't know what he's like 
when he's asleep.  Kiros says he snores a lot and talks in 
his sleep, but I wouldn't know." She smiled at Squall and 
shrugged.  "Whatever."

Squall nodded.  "I. . .see." It was ludicrous, really, but he 
had no idea how to react.  He didn't want to be rude, but it 
was just too stupid. . ."You like working here?"

Xu said nothing.  Squall wondered.  Had he had asked the 
wrong question?

"I miss Garden," she said quietly, and didn't look at Squall 
again for the rest of the evening.

***

"No, I don't carry around photos of my students." Quistis 
smiled at Rinoa.  "I'm sorry, but you'll have to do without.  
We don't keep a garden directory.  You'd have to go find a 
publication that printed pictures of SeeD if you wanted any."

"Oh, darn," Rinoa sighed.  "Well, that's all right." She 
yawned.  "What are you going to do tomorrow?  Are you guys in 
Balamb going to do anything about the Lunar Cry that I keep 
hearing about?"

Quistis shook her head.  "We're going to sit around and train 
the students who are not applying for SeeD.  At least, the 
instructors are." She sighed a little, regret coming into her 
soft voice.  Then she tried hard to look cherry again, 
knowing she would fail.  "I might apply to be instructor 
again, but for now, I just train and get my salary. . .we 
don't have any missions coming up."

"Oh, I see.  Well then. . .I'm going to bed."

Rinoa bounced away, and Quistis shook her head, smiling to 
see the girl's energy radiating through her.  It was really 
amazing how carefree she was.  Quistis could never be like 
that. . .oh, she wasn't the way Squall used to be, but she 
was serious and always took things seriously, as though she 
expected everyone else to be the same.  With bad results, 
naturally.  If only she were looser, or just more willing to 
have fun. . .

Quistis shook her head.  Enough with the self-criticism.  She 
had work to do.


End of Chapter Two


*********

Thank you for reading! ^_^

---Irene

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