Well, i'm back. It's good to see that the universe continues to unfold
despite tragedy and terror. Since morale is important in crises, here's my
little contribution to raising the spirits of my fellow fanfic enthusiasts.
C+C is always appreciated, MSTs, constructed criticism, whatever, anything
short of an out-and-out flame is good.

THE BET-A STUDY IN SCARLET

PART SIX

Based on an original idea by Gregg Sharp
Continuation by Dave Menard (menard5078@home.com) NOTE THE NEW ADDRESS!!!!

Featuring characters created by Rumiko Takahashi (All hail Rumi-sama!) and
others. No profit has been made from the production or distribution of this
work, and as such follows the spirit of copyright law, if not the letter.

WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: (Previous chapters available at
www.spghome.tripod.com) An alternate universe. Akane's mind has been
transposed with that of a much-older counterpart of hers who spent years in
the far-future world of Aramar, where she became known as a feared assassin
and warrior known as "Scarlet". Scarlet had lost her Ranma due to a
mis-phrased wish, and spent decades adventuring to earn another. When she
arrived back in the past, however, she found that things weren't happening
quite the way she remembered; Ranma had been engaged to first, Kasumi, then
all three Tendou sisters at the same time, Kunou believes that Ranma is
really a Chinese Amazon, Akane can defeat Ranma easily, and things are
getting weirder all the time!

 The Tendou sisters and Ranma have gone out dancing at Club Gojushii, the
hottest nightclub in town- little do they know that a certain Kendoist knows
of their plans!

PART SIX BEGINS HERE!

 The driving techno beat was almost a physical thing; pulsing and pounding
with tangible force. Couples and groups gyrated and writhed across the dance
floor like parts of some gigantic primal organism.

 The three-and-a-half girls from Nerima were almost in shock, some moreso
than others.

 Kasumi felt like a deer in the headlights. Somehow, she knew that everyone
could see that she was WAY out of her league here. The whole place smelled
of sweat, booze, and various species of smoke. It made her want to open a
few windows and get to scrubbing. Didn't anybody ever CLEAN in here?

 Nabiki's heart was racing. This was exactly the type of party she'd always
wanted to be invited to; beautiful people, loud music, celebrities
everywhere, and no parental supervision. It was a dream come true!

 Ranma's blue eyes were huge. She'd never seen, never even DREAMED of
anyplace like this before! She'd been inside bars and taverns before on her
ten-year-long training voyage; mostly to drag her drunken father back to
whichever flophouse or crash-pad they were currently squatting in before he
spent all their ready cash. But Genma's taste in bars ran to the
working-man's pubs and neighborhood taverns (and the odd soapland to
"relieve some stress".) Nothing like this! The sheer volume of people, the
driving music... She almost had an attack of agoraphobia before she brought
herself back under control.

 Akane surveyed the establishment with a practiced eye. It had precisely the
aura of debauchery and excitement she'd been looking for. In an environment
like this, Ranma'd be helpless before her feminine wiles! She reached out
and grabbed Ranma by the hand.

 "C'mon! Let's dance!"

 "What? No! I mean, I can't dance, I don't know how!"

 "Don't worry about it," Akane laughed. "It's just like a kata. Just stay
loose and move with the music; watch the folks around you for pointers, if
you're stuck. C'mon! Doesn't this music make you want to move?" She did a
slow, slinky hip-grinding wiggle that made the hair on the back of Ranma'
neck stand up. If he'd been male at the time, something other than
neck-hairs would have stood up as well. As it was, she froze up, pigtail
standing erect at a eighty-degree angle. Akane dragged her unresisting form
out onto the dance floor with a feral grin, leaving Nabiki and Kasumi
stunned in her wake.

 "Oh my..." Kasumi breathed, too quietly to be heard over the music. Louder,
she continued. "Nabiki?"

 Nabiki was frozen, staring at her kid sister and their mutual fiance as
they wove their way through the crowd to the dance floor, a small vein on
her forehead pulsing. "What?!" she snarled, causing Kasumi to jump.

 "I, er... Maybe we should find a table and get some drinks?"

 "Right. Drinks. Drinks would be good." Nabiki tore her eyes away from
Akane, who was currently attracting hungry stares as she practically made
love to Ranma, clothes be damned. Where the HELL did her baby sister learn
to move like THAT?!


********************

 Behind the bar, jaded eyes caught sight of the two girls on the dance floor
and cocked an amused eyebrow. He turned to the new waitress, presently
stocking her tray with a mix of cocktails.

 "Hey, Akemi-chan. Ya got a little sister ya never told us about?"

 Akemi Roppongi, severely overburdened with booze, followed the bartender's
gaze and spotted Ranma, her flaming red hair easily visible even in the
sardine-packed crowd. She did a double-take. "Wow. Nope, I'm an only child,
but she sure does look a lot like me, doesn't she?"

 "Yeah," nodded the bartender, "Only she ain't on the high side o' thirty.
Damn, who'da thought- HEY!" The rest of his observation was cut off by a
tray full of drinks being dumped over his head.

*******************

 Nabiki sipped at her Sapporo Biru-Wata as her eyes panned around the club;
people watching was a favorite sport of hers.

 Here and there she saw famous faces, and each time she would elbow Kasumi
and point them out to her.

 "Hey, isn't that that artist guy, whatsisname, Korn or something?"

 "I'm afraid I wouldn't know, Nabiki." Kasumi answered dolefully.

 "Aw, c'mon! He's a guest judge on Iron Chef all the time! Surely you'd
recognize him?"

 "I suppose..." Kasumi replied glumly, stirring the ice cubes in her ginger
ale with a short straw.

 "'Neechan, what on _earth_ is the matter with you? Be excited! We're here!
We made it! It's time to P to the A to the R to the..." She trailed off,
noticing her elder sister's complete lack of interest. "What's the matter?"

 "I... Imotouchan, I think I've done a very bad thing."

 "Hunh?" Nabiki blinked twice. As far as she was aware, Kasumi was incapable
of doing 'bad things'.

 "I agreed to go on a date with Tofu-Sensei."

 "Really? That's great! He's had it bad for you for-ever! So why is this a
bad thing?"

 Kasumi simply gestured meaningfully to their fiance on the dance floor.

 "Ah. I see..." Actually, she didn't. To her mind, good ol' Tofu-sensei was
much more Kasumi's speed than Ranma. Surely Kasumi wasn't seriously
interested in him... Was she?

 Nabiki cleared her throat. "Err, well, I don't think Ranma would really
mind... He's pretty easygoing. Besides, it's only a date, right? It's not as
if you're gonna shack up with the doc, are you?"

 "Nabiki!" Kasumi gasped in shock. "I hardly think-"

 "Haha! Gotcha!" Nabiki teased. "C'mon, it's no big deal. Ranma won't mind."

 "I just feel like I'm betraying him. What if he has feelings for me?"

 "Kasumi, you'll never know unless you ask him."

 "I know, I know... "

 Someone cleared their throat, and the two Tendou girls glanced over. Two
guys had evidently noticed them, and were standing next to their table.

 One of them was obviously underaged, although he was well dressed in a
fashionable suit. He had short, well-groomed hair and a cheesy grin, as well
as a tie that was almost as loud as his cologne.

 The other... Nabiki felt her pulse race slightly. The other one was just
plain yummy. Warm brown eyes, long, sleek chestnut hair pulled back into a
ponytail, perfectly tailored suit and drop dead gorgeous bishonen looks
capped off with a friendly, if a little embarrassed, smile. Something about
him seemed vaguely familiar. Maybe she'd seen him around school?

 "Ladies... " grinned the short-haired guy enthusiastically, "Wouldja like
to dance?"

 The gorgeous one winced, and mouthed a silent 'sorry, he's got _no_ class'
behind his friend's back. Nabiki favored him with a smile and a wink, and he
blushed. Well, well, she thought to herself. Another shy guy.

 "Sure, we'd love to, wouldn't we, Kasumi?" Nabiki said, extending her hand
to the shy bishonen, who drew her to her feet, still blushing.

 "Ah, I, er..." Kasumi hemmed and hawed.

 "C'mon, Kasumi, this is just what we need. Live a little!"

 "Darn right," said the short-haired boy with a grin. "Let's boogie!"

 The long-haired boy smacked his forehead in dismay at his friend's cheesy
pickup lines, and Nabiki rolled her eyes. Still, Kasumi needed to cut loose
and have fun. A little dancing would be good for her.

 "Yeah, c'mon Kasumi! Seeya on the dance floor!" And with that Nabiki towed
her beau out onto the crowded floor.

 "So what's your name, handsome?" Nabiki practically had to yell over the
throbbing bass.

 "Ukyo Kuonji," he called back. "What's yours?"

 "Nabiki Tendou." She draped her arms across his slender shoulder and began
to dance with him; not so closely that he might get any untoward ideas, but
close enough that they didn't have to yell at one another to be heard.
"Where're you from?"

 "Well, Kansai, originally. I've moved around a lot... I live in Juuban,
now, though. Hey, I gotta say, sorry about my Sempai back there. He means
well, but he's kinda..."

 "Goofy?" The bishonen nodded and laughed. "Don't worry about it. I kinda
got the feeling he was embarrassing you."

 "Well, it was sorta his idea to come out here tonight; it's not really my
scene, y'know? But, Yuu's got money to burn, and he's my Sempai, so..." Ukyo
shrugged. "Well, you don't need to worry about your friend, there. Yuu's a
bit of a freak, but he's a good guy, he won't try anything perverted."

 "He'd better not, that's my big sister he's dancing with... Why didn't you
want to come out? You got a steady or something?" Nabiki asked, a little
worried. Not that she was _that_ hot for this guy already, but... Ukyo
blushed, and swallowed hard. Something about his neck when he swallowed
tugged at Nabiki's mind, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

 "Ah, no, no. No steady, just... Look, Nabiki? You seem like a nice girl and
all, but I think it's only fair to let you know that you're not really my
type. I mean, it's cool if you wanna dance 'n stuff, but-"

 "Who says I'm not your type?" Nabiki posed, mildly miffed. "We've been
talking all of two minutes, and you already know this?"

 "I mean that you, being a girl, aren't my type."

 "What d'you mean, 'being a girl'- Oh! Ohhh..." She bit off a mental curse.
Oh well, she thought, Ukyo was cute, and seemed to be a fairly good dancer.
And it's not as if she came here to pick up, what with Ranma being here and
all. A little perfectly safe male companionship might be the order of the
day. "Hey, that's all right. I won't hold it against you." Nabiki's laugh
sounded a little forced, but she recovered well and didn't pull away from
her semi-close embrace. "D'you just wanna dance?"

 Ukyo seemed to relax a little at that. "Hey, sure. Actually, that's great,
it'll keep Yuu off my back. The whole reason we came here was so that he
could 'make a real man out of me'".

 Nabiki laughed, dancing away for a moment, then pirouetted back to her
partner. "Kuonji, Kuonji... Where do I- Ah ha! NOW I remember where I've
seen you before! At the Tokyo Young Businessperson's Club party last
September! You run an okonomiyaki restaurant, right?"

 Ukyo laughed. "Guilty as charged. I think I vaguely remember you, too;
Nabiki Tendou, right? Weren't you running for Chair?"

 "Yeah, I lost, though; to Daitokujii." Nabiki sniffed in mock sadness. "Oh
woe, oh pain. Rejected by my peers!!"

 Ukyo laughed again, harder this time. "Well, I'm sorry I didn't vote for
you, but your position on supply-side economics didn't really hold water to
_my_ mind."

 Nabiki double-blinked. "Huh? How come?"

 "Well, it unfairly penalizes small business owners."

 "Penalizes? Now hold on a minute-"

 More dancing (and economic policy discussion) followed happily.

************************

 At the door, something of a scuffle was brewing. Two burly bouncers were
embroiled in an argument with a young couple that seemed to be escalating
rapidly into a physical situation.

 "Listen, pal. I ain't gonna say it again. Get in line, and wait your turn
like everybody else. I don't see your name on the list!"

 "And how, pray tell, would you know?" The young man asked, "I have not yet
given it to you!"

 "Fine! What's your name?" the bouncer sighed in resignation.

 "Kunou Tatewaki, but you may address me as Kunou-sama."

 "Uh-huh, right." The bouncer glanced down at the list. "Sorry Kunou-SAN,
but it ain't on the list. You ain't on the list, you wait in line. Those're
the rules."

 "IMPERTINENT DOG! I SHALL SMITE-" he was cut off by a delicate feminine
hand on his shoulder. "Unhand me! I must teach this cur his place!"

 "That's enough, brother dear," Kodachi purred mockingly, before turning to
the bouncer. "Forgive my foolish sibling, kind sir. Tell me, what would it
take for you to _find_ our names on your delightful little list?"

 "Sorry, babe. Even if you smacked me across the face with a wad of bills, I
couldn't let you in."

 "Is that so? Brother dear, your wallet please." She held out her hand and
tapped her foot impatiently. With a grumble, Tatewaki produced it and passed
it over. "Thank you."

 With a mighty swing, Kodachi belted the bouncer across the chops with the
majority of the wallet's contents.

 "Will this be sufficient?"

 Little yen signs flashed in the bouncer's eyes. "Certainly, madam. Go right
in." He bowed formally, western-style, as Kodachi swept past, her grumbling
brother firmly in tow.

 "You simply have to know how to address the lower classes, brother dear."

 "This is a travesty! To think that that churl needed to be _bribed_ to obey
his superiors... In days of old, such treatment was unheard of! Oh, woe! How
I weep for the downfall of our glorious civilization, I-" A ribbon snaked up
and wrapped his mouth shut.

 "Kindly keep silent, brother dear. Now, here is your allowance," She handed
back his wallet, leaving him about 5,000 yen and sliding the balance into
her purse. "Have fun pursuing your little trollops. I shall be mingling..."

 Kunou had succeeded in unraveling the ribbon from around his head. "Hold,
sister! I do not think it wise that you accompany me. This is a wretched
hive of scum and villainy, no place for a delicate flower such as yourself.
Please, return to the limousine, I shall join you anon, with my two
goddesses on my arms."

 "Dear, DEAR brother," she patted him on the arm as though he were a small
child. "I fear you misunderstand the situation. I am not accompanying you,
we are merely attending the same social function in separate capacities. And
should any ruffians attempt to take liberties with my person without my
permission, they shall learn that the Black Rose has sharp thorns! OH HO HO
HO HO HO!" She paused for a breath, then pranced off into the milling crowd.
"Ta-ta for now, brother dear!"

 He struck a pose of brotherly sorrow. "Truly, my sister is most injudicious
in her behavior," Cue pose of noble tolerance. "Ah, but I love her well.
Onward, to my Amazon goddesses, and victory!"

 And with that, Tatewaki Kunou was unleashed upon Club Gojyuushi.

****
 From her spot near the center of the dance floor, Akane shivered briefly.
Ranma-chan looked up quizzically.

 "Did you feel that too?"

 "Yeah," Akane nodded, casting a wary eye around at the surrounding crowd.
"Sort of like someone walking over my grave." She shook her head, and smiled
down at the smaller girl. "So, you having fun yet?"

 "Ehh..." Ranma shrugged noncommittally. "S'alright, I guess."

 "Well, now," Akane purred, "We'll have to change _that_, now won't we?" As
if on cue, the music slid from a peppy, synth-filled dance number to a deep,
raunchy bump-n'-grinder. With a fierce grin, Akane slid in close to the
petite red-head and began to grind.

 "Ah..." Ranma stammered, blushing furiously as Akane's closeness filled her
senses. The flowery scent of her shampoo, the clean sweat of her body, the
warmth of her torso as she slid against her. "Ah..." it was almost a moan.
"A-k-kane?"

 "Yes, Ranma?" she answered, warm breath tickling Ranma's ear.

 "I, ah..." the red-head shuddered as Akane slid down then up again, her
feel of her breasts through the thin material of her dress setting off
sparks in Ranma's mind. "I, ah, gotta go to the washroom. Can you run
interference?"

 "Huh?" Akane stepped back and blinked. "Uh, okay."

 "Great." Ranma seemed to relax slightly as they headed for the ladies' loo.

 Damn, Akane thought. I was really enjoying that. I could have sworn Ranma
was, too. 'Course, it would have been more fun if he was male at the time,
but... She mentally shrugged. I'll take him however I can get him.

****

 Ranma stared into the mirror over the sink. The washroom was empty, thank
goodness, and Akane was keeping six outside to make sure no one came in. She
blinked, then scowled at her reflection.

 "What the hell are you doin'? Huh? That girl out there's a nutjob! You
ain't got _no_ business gettin' all hot 'n bothered! Man... An' I thought it
was hard keepin' my hormones under control when I'm a guy, yeesh!" She
looked over longingly at the hot water tap. I could just do it, he thought,
be a guy again, at least I wouldn't feel like some kinda pervert...

 "Naw. Havin' enough trouble dealin' with _one_ fuzzy-thinkin' head right
now..."

****

 Kunou's eyes sparked with desire as his eyes alit on a mane of flaming red
hair bobbing through the crowd. With a triumphant "BANZAI!" he leapt upon
his prey.

 "Ah! My scarlet-tressed Amazon goddess! I have found you! Come to my arms
and let me sip the sweet nectar of love itself from your honeyed lips!!"
Kunou engulfed the redhead in a passionate embrace, sweeping her off her
feet and tilting her back in true Hollywood leading-man fashion. Her lips
were stiff for a moment, then quickly became soft and yielding, opening
slightly as their tongues began to duel fiercely. It was everything he'd
imagined it would be! Her ample curves pressed firmly to his chest, her arms
sliding amorously around his back, her sweet mouth tasting strongly of...

 Sake and cigarettes?

 He pulled away gently and nuzzled her ear. "My darling, do you not realize
what a filthy habit the demon weed tobacco is? And surely, you are too young
to be drinking..."

 Akemi Roppongi opened her eyes wide. Not old enough to..? Ooh, handsome, a
good kisser AND a flatterer! Yum! So what if he was a little... tender...
Judging by the feel of that suit, she'd bet he had money to burn! Laughing
huskily, she breathed into his ear: "Well, why don't you tell me all about
it back at your place, stud?"

 Kunou blinked in turn, pulling away from his nuzzlings to get a good look
at the redhead. Those were not the dulcet tones of his love!

 "Egads!" He dropped her unceremoniously on her caboose. "You are not she to
whom I have pledged my love!" He struck a pose of manly grief. "To think
that I have soiled these virgin lips, kept pure and chaste for my twin
loves, on the dried and desiccated mouth of an old woman such as yourself!
I-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" His soliloquy abruptly became a high soprano wail as
Akemi demonstrated (via the ever-reliable foot-to-the-groin method) exactly
what she thought of being called "old"...

****

 Nabiki caught sight of Akane standing by the door to the ladies room.
"Hunh. Why's she standing all by herself- Oh. Ohh. Hee."

 Ukyo looked at her quizzically. "What's up, sugar?"

 Nabiki attempted to restrain a giggle, but only succeeded in turning it
into a very unladylike snort. "Nothing, really."

 "D'you know that girl?" the chef asked, noticing the object of Nabiki's
attention.

 "Yeah, she's my kid sister. C'mon, let's go talk to her." Nabiki grinned
ferally and proceeded to drag her confused dance partner over to the door.

 Akane glanced up at her sister's approach. She was towing a fairly cute guy
in her wake; he looked _very_ familiar to her, but she couldn't quite place
the face. "What's up?"

 "Oh, nothing much, little sister. Just wondering what happened to your
'date'," Nabiki smirked.

 Akane scowled. "Ranma's using the facilities. I'm just making sure no one
interrupts-"

 "Ranma?!" Ukyo practically spat. The young chef was vibrating like a
plucked bowstring. "Did you say RANMA?!"

 Nabiki was startled to say the least. "Er, yeah. Ranma Saotome. Why, you
know him, er, her?"

 Ukyo produced a spatula the size of a polearm from nowhere and brandished
it furiously, causing not a few patrons to duck and cover. "Saotome ruined
my life!!"

 Akane groaned internally. Ukyo. Of course. And so early, too. She should
have recognized her sooner. Time to take quick action. She tensed her
muscles in preparation for putting the okonomiyaki maker down hard and fast
when Nabiki interposed herself between the two.

 "Whoa there! Hold up a minute! What do you mean, Ranma ruined your life?"
Nabiki asked, mingled curiosity and annoyance in her voice.

 Just then, the door swung open, and Ranma stepped out, face still slightly
damp. She blinked hard as she took in the scene before her. "What's goin'
on? Somebody call my name?"

 "Ranma Saotome... PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!" Ukyo cried, bowling Nabiki over as
she dove at the confused redhead, who, unprepared, tumbled back through the
swinging door into the washroom.

**********

 Kunou paused in his contemplation of a true objet-d'art (the scantily-clad
young lady currently writhing about in simulated sexual ecstasy inside one
of the suspended go-go cages) when he heard the commotion begin.

 "Zounds! This tavern is truly filled to bursting with the very lowest
sorts. No doubt brawling like the petty ruffians they are ..." He snagged a
cocktail from the tray of a passing waitress in what he hoped was a truly
debonair and dashing manner and began to make his way through the milling
crowd towards the scene, sipping leisurely from his drink as he went.

 Pausing only to extract the cocktail umbrella that had lodged itself into
his left nostril as he sipped blindly, he managed to find his way to the
center of the action just in time to see a red-haired form get bowled
through the washroom doors by someone wielding a large... Spatula?

 "Hmm. Doubtless that uncouth serving woman has angered on of the chefs.
Nothing for me to be concerned about- Wait! What is this that mine eyes do
espy? Could it be..? The fair Akane Tendou!" He noted the rumpled and mad as
a wet cat form of a second girl clambering to her feet. "And her
somewhat-attractive-yet-completely-untrustworthy-and-mercenary sister,
Nabiki Tendou!"

 Nabiki mercifully missed Kunou's narration as she picked herself up and
strained to regain some semblance of dignity. Scarlet, however, had been
less fortunate.

 "Oh, just marvelous. Kunou."

 "Akane Tendou, my love," Kunou yelped, leaping forward, "Come, let me
embrace you and wash these loving lips clean of the taint of that aging
doxy!" His spring was cut short by a serving tray caroming off the back of
his thick skull like a discus.

 "I heard that, you little creep!"

 The Blue Thunder pried himself off the floor with an aggrieved expression.
"Pay her no mind, Akane Tendou, she is but jealous of your hold over mine
own noble heart."

 "Uh-huh. Right." Scarlet sniffed as she stomped over to the prone kendoist
and hoisted him into the air by his tie, not incidentally cutting off his
air supply. "Now listen up, you blithering idiot. I haven't the time or the
patience to deal with your foolishness right now."

 "Ack- Akane... T-Tendou... I cannot-"

 "No, _I'm_ talking now, and you..." she punctuated each word with a sharp
jerk on his tie, pulling the slipknot tighter each time, "Will! Listen! For
once in your misbegotten existence, _understand_ what I am trying to say!
Neither I, nor Ranma, have _any_" another, harder, jerk, "Interest in you
what-so-ever!" She dropped him, gasping and scrabbling to loosen his tie, to
the floor.

 "Uh, Akane?" Nabiki asked worriedly, keeping her distance from her sister's
enraged form. "Wasn't that a bit excessive?"

 "You try being hounded by this creep for awhile and see how _you_ like it,
_dear_ sister. And don't think I don't know who's been supplying him with
his stroke-off material, either!"

 Nabiki paled. It was true that she'd been selling candid snaps of Akane in
action to Kunou and certain other interested parties, but she had no idea
that her normally oblivious kid sister had known... "Aha, er... I can
explain..."

 "I'm sure you can, but I don't particularly care right now. I'm displeased
with you, Nabiki," Scarlet growled, cracking her knuckles for effect. "It's
bad enough you've been supplying this fool with dirty pictures, now you sic
a psychotic okonomiyaki chef on Ranma? What in the Nine Hells is _wrong_
with you?!"

 Nabiki quickly found herself backed up against the wall. "H-hey, I didn't
know Ukyo was going to flip out like that! And the photo thing? It was just
a lark! Y'know good ol' Nabiki, right? Just a slave to money, that's lil'
ol' me..." she finished with a wan, frightened grin.

 "Right. Slave to money. Like that excuses everything." Scarlet growled
softly. "I'm warning you, Nabiki. I didn't want it to come to this. You're
my sister, and I love you, but remember this: Ranma belongs to _me_. Not
you, not Ukyo, not the Chinese bimbo or the crazy gymnast whenever they get
around to showing up, not even Kasumi. He is MINE, and I mean to keep him.
GOT that?" She punctuated her point by driving her right fist through the
wall directly to the left of Nabiki's head.

 "Yep!" Nabiki squeaked, perilously close to soiling her panties in terror.
The was a wild, desperate light in Akane's eyes that told her that her
little sister was deadly serious.

 "Good!" Akane answered, suddenly all sweetness and light again, and flashed
Nabiki a cheerful smile. "Now let's take care of the trash, shall we?"

 Humming a jaunty tune, Akane picked up the gasping Kunou and jabbed him
hard with an extended finger just above his belt. "There. THAT should keep
you from waving your little wooden sword about where it's not wanted."

 "OOOH-HO-HO-HO-HOOOO!!!!" A shrill laugh echoed through the club,
shattering glasses and causing the DJ's records to skip noisily. A purple
ribbon snaked out of nowhere to envelope the prone kendoist, jerking him
suddenly out of Scarlet's grasp. "No common wench will inflict pain upon a
scion of the House of Kunou," A high-pitched voice called from nowhere.
Obligingly, one of the lighting crew turned a spot on the source of the
voice, a stunning young woman dressed in a skin-hugging black vinyl dress,
who perched ludicrously atop one of the go-go cages. "That's _my_ job," she
finished, laughing merrily.

 "Kodachi Kunou, but you may call me The Black Rose, peasant girl!
OOOH-HO-HO-HO-HOOOO!!!!"

****

 "Hold it! What did I ever do to you?" Ranma yelped as she rolled nimbly out
of the way of a spatula thrust that would have taken out her kneecaps had it
connected. Her opponent merely snarled and swung the gigantic kitchen
utensil again, this time barely missing the pigtailed martial artist and
slicing open an overhead water pipe, sending cold water spraying about the
room.

 "Gyaah!" Ranma yelped, springing to the top of a stall, her white top
soaked through. "C'mon, man! At least tell me why you want me dead!"

 Ukyo laughed humorlessly as she stared at Ranma through soaked chestnut
bangs. "You have the gall to ask me that after what you did to me,
'Ranchan'? You BASTARD!!" she punctuated the last with a snarl and swung up
her battle-spat into a ready stance. "Come on down and fight me, coward!"

 "Now, hold on a minute, buddy," Ranma snapped, springing down to stand
ready, just out of reach of the strange polearm. "I don't know what your
problem is, but you got some nerve callin' me a coward!" Ranma's blue eyes
flickered briefly as she scanned her opponent's stance for any weakness, any
similarity to any fighting style with which she was familiar. The spatulas.
He'd only ever seen one person fight with one of those... And... he called
her... Ranchan? "Hold up, hold up. Ucchan? Is that _you_?"  All the anger
left Ranma's face immediately, to be replaced by a huge grin. "UCCHAN! How
the hell are ya?"

 Ukyo blinked hard and almost lost her grip on her spat. Saotome was glad to
see her? What the hell? Angrily, she shook her head to clear it. "Don't play
dumb with me! You left me behind! I was supposed to be your FIANCEE!!"

 "What?!" Ranma's mouth began to flap open and closed like a fish out of
water. "B-but... But.. W-we're b-both g-g-"

 Ukyo's eyes bugged huge as she glanced briefly down from Ranma's eyes to
her chest, very evident under the soaking wet white cotton top. Breasts?!
Big ones! B-but... the voice of eight-year-old Ukyo cried in her head, you
were supposed to be my...

 Years of righteous anger cracked briefly under the evidence of her senses.
Ranchan was a girl! Her father had engaged her to a girl! But... "Hey! That
doesn't explain why you and your shiftless bum of a father stole my yatai!"

 "Stole it? We didn't steal nothin'! I..." A memory bubbled to the surface.
"Oh. Oh crap. Geez, Ucchan, I didn't know it was stolen! Heck, Pop told me
your Dad _gave_ it to us!"

 "Heh." Ukyo laughed mirthlessly again. "A likely story! You two creeps took
advantage of me an' my Dad, and now I find out it was part of some sick plot
to turn me into some kind of hentai pervert?!"

 "Hunh?" Ranma said cluelessly. "What are you talkin' about?"

 "Heheheheheh... Hahahahahahah... HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Ukyou's laugh grew
louder and louder as everything fell into place in her mind. Gods, they were
even worse than she'd thought! "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this!! But not here,
no..." Ukyo produced a flat squarish box and lobbed it to Ranma, who caught
it easily. "I've been waiting for years to give you this! Tomorrow, at Tai
park, Furinkan-cho! Be there!"

********

 Nabiki goggled from her position backed up against the wall. Black Rose?
Did she have something to do with that nasty move Akane had used on
Ranma-baby, the 'Black Rose Torture Fist'? She certainly looked like the
type to use that kind of sicko maneuver... Then again, she thought, seeing
Akane's dumbfounded reaction, Akane looked as surprised as anyone.

 Scarlet's next words bore out Nabiki's observation. "B-black... R-rose?
Y-you? HA! A-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" Akane's laugh didn't quite
have the same insane quality as Kodachi's, but there was a tinge of hysteria
to it. "That's right! The loony little gymnast! Oh, you don't even _begin_
to be worthy of that name, you inbred tart!"

 Kodachi's flawlessly pale complexion flushed red with fury. "Who are you,
foolish girl, to mock my nom de guerre?"

 Akane snarled, a red battle-aura springing to life around her. "I'm the one
who's gonna kick your ass, bitch," She assumed a hard kempo stance. "Come
get some."

 The purple ribbon shot out and snapped hard against the floor at Scarlet's
feet, cracking the hard linoleum with the force of the blow. Scarlet merely
stepped aside and grabbed the ribbon, jerking Kodachi towards her. The
startled gymnast cried out in surprise as she left her feet, but prudently
released the handle halfway through her trajectory, turning a headlong
plunge into a graceful dismount. The crowd, who had obligingly spread into
an open ring for the combatants, applauded politely.

 Kodachi smiled indulgently, accepting the applause as her due. "OH HO HO
HO!!! Foolish girl! You think to disarm the Black Rose so easily? A true
mistress of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics is _never_ without a weapon at
her disposal! Observe," she called, producing a pair of clubs from seemingly
nowhere.

 "Neat trick, bitch," Scarlet growled, tossing the captured ribbon aside and
stalking forward, pausing briefly to kick Kunou's prone body out of her
path, "I've got one too. Watch me make an overbred obstacle disappear!" Her
casual stroll turned into a headlong charge in the blink of an eye, a
freight-train fist hurtling towards Kodachi at speeds that a radar gun
would've clocked at just under the speed of sound.

 The gymnast tried to move aside in time, but even her Olympic-level agility
wasn't enough as the blow caught her right in the sternum with a resounding
crunch, picked her up and sent her crashing through the black-painted
windows at the front of the club.

 "And that's that," Scarlet finished, dusting off her hands and turning to
face a white-faced Nabiki. "Now, who's ready to dance?" she finished with a
sweet smile.

 Nabiki gave a sickly laugh, the crowd murmured amongst themselves, and the
DJ obligingly started up the music once more.

 Okay, Nabiki thought feverishly, Akane has gone completely 'round the bend.
She practically _killed_ Kunou, punched his little sister into orbit, and
now she's all... chipper? Beating on Kunou, while not unusual in and of
itself, usually left her little sister steaming with a sullen anger that
would smolder for hours. Not to mention the way in which Kunou was
eliminated was far more brutal than usual... Nabiki could admit it in her
heart of hearts, if not out loud. Her sister had changed. She wasn't the
same person she had been a month ago, and she could trace the strangeness
all the way back to the day Ranma arrived.

 What was it about the pigtailed aquatranssexual that caused Akane to flip
out? And it _was_ that serious. Nabiki prided herself on understanding
people's patterns of behavior, and Akane's were completely out of whack. She
needed a moment- no, an hour or two, in private to think.

 Unfortunately, the universe at large seemed to be conspiring to deny her
that opportunity, as someone tapped her on the shoulder.

 "WHAT?" she yelped, her voice tinged with hysteria.

 "Whoa, take it easy, sugar," Ukyo backed up a step. "You looked kinda
dazed. What the heck happened out here?"

 Nabiki shook herself and tried to massage some feeling back into her hands.
"Oh, just a massive brawl, nothing to worry about..." A thought occurred,
though the haze of shock. "What the heck happened to _you_? You just dove
into the bathroom yelling something about Ranma-baby!"

 "Yeah, well, I'll settle things with Saotome later. You'd better stay away
from that whole bunch, Nabchan. Bad things happen to families who take them
in... Anyway, I've gotta find Yuu and get out of here; I've had about as
much fun tonight as I can stand." Ukyo took a moment to straighten herself
out and re-stash her spatula. "I'll see you around, okay?" She passed Nabiki
a business card and a brief smile. "Give me a call sometime, we'll network.
Ja ne."

 "Ja," Nabiki answered, examining the card as the okonomiyaki chef fought
her way through the crowd. 'Ucchan's Okonomiyaki- Ukyou Kuonji, Proprietor',
and a Juuban-cho address. "Interesting," Nabiki muttered, sliding the card
into her purse.

 Kasumi found her way back to Nabiki's side, looking a little pink, a fine
sheen of sweat on her forehead. "What happened with that boy, Imotouchan? He
and Yuu-san left in such a hurry..."

 "Long story, 'Neechan... We've got to talk about Akane."

 "So that _was_ her fighting. I was on the far side of the club."

 "Yeah, she-"

 "What _about_ me, Nabiki?" Scarlet asked, joining her two sisters. "Say,
where's Ranma?"

 "Right here," the redhead answered, stepping out of the washroom as she
finished off the last bit of the okonomiyaki. "Mmm. Tastiest challenge
letter _I've_ ever received. What's up?"

 "What happened?" Nabiki asked, confused. She peered through the doorway and
took in the devastation. "What the hell happened in there?"

 "Let me guess," Scarlet sniffed. "Ukyo wants to pound you because of
something your moron of a father did?"

 Ranma blinked hard. "Yeah, how'd'ya know?"

 "I must be psychic." Inwardly, Scarlet was furious. Ukyo could screw up her
plans by showing up this early! She needed to be taken out of the equation,
one way, or the other...


***********

 Ryouga Hibiki scratched his head as he looked around. The garish neon signs
were Japanese, and so were the passers-by, so it seemed likely he was back
on the home islands. Beyond that, he wasn't sure. He turned the map upside
down, but it didn't seem to make anymore sense than it had before. He
grabbed a random pedestrian.

 "Where is Furinkan High School?!"

 "I have no idea. Please let me go..?"

 Ryouga sighed as the man ran away. The first hot lead he'd had in months,
and he couldn't even take advantage of it because he couldn't find the damn
school!

 Hot tears of rage streamed from closed eyes as he threw his arms up to the
heavens.

 "Curse you, Ranma Saotome! You'll pay for what you did to me! I'll kill
you! I'll kill you! I'll- YOOPS!"

 The lost boy blinked down in surprise at the vinyl-clad girl who had
dropped from the sky into his arms. He was about to pop a nosebleed and
faint at the sight of such scantily-clad feminine pulchritude when he
noticed the flecks of blood around her lips. She coughed briefly as he
watched, spitting up another few drops of the red fluid.

 "Omigosh, what happened to you? Can you hear me?"

 The girl coughed again and her violet eyes flickered open, meeting his.
"W-who..?" she asked weakly, gazing up at the scruffy, yet... rather...
handsome fellow who held her close.

 "I'm Ryouga Hibiki... But that's not important right now. You're hurt,
we've gotta get you to a doctor!"

 In truth, Kodachi _had_ felt better. The pain in her chest was rapidly
lessening, though, superseded, no, _replaced_ with a blazing fire in her
heart. She choked out a sob and clung to her savior's brawny frame. "Oh, I
was so frightened!"

 Ryouga had seen enough movies to know his next lines. "Uh, there, there...
You're okay now, don't cry. What's your name, miss?"

 Kodachi pulled her face away from his strong shoulder and fluttered her
long eyelashes. "Oh, Ryoga-sama! You may call me your darling Kodachi!"

 "Er, what?"


****

___/A CONSIDERABLE DISTANCE AWAY, TEMPORALLY SPEAKING...\___

 Akane stepped through the portal, the red rose she'd used as a "key"
crumbling into powder.

 Her mind swam for a moment as the universe seemed to go topsy-turvy in
front of her, before flickering like a glitch-ridden video and resolving
into a small glade with a pool of water in the center. The clearing was
surrounded by tall conifers and shivering aspens, rustling pleasantly in the
soft breeze. She glanced around for her companion, the neko-musume called
Kiira, but the tawny-furred liongirl was nowhere to be found.

 "Well, that's just terrific." Akane grumbled, taking a deep breath. The air
was sweet and clean, scented heavily with pine boughs and green growing
things. Birds sang pleasantly in the branches of the trees as fluffy white
clouds scudded across the crystal-blue sky.

 If one absolutely _must_ be cast across dimensions with no hope of return,
there were worse places to be stuck, she decided. First things first, she
decided and strode through the tall grass towards the pool in search of a
drink.

 Her reflection's ability to startle her was fading, but it was still odd to
see the face of her analogue looking back at her from the clear waters. She
was still pretty, lovely, even; almost a mirror image of her mother, if one
discounted the different hairstyles. The face was that of a woman in her
mid-twenties, yet Baron had assured her that she was far, far older. Looking
closer, Akane noted the tiny telltales of a life long-lived; miniscule
crinklings around the eyes, creases on the forehead denoting time spent in
serious reflection... There were, however, too many frown and worry lines,
and not enough smile and laugh lines as far as she was concerned. Even if
Baron, the Magus and Kiira hadn't filled her in on a few of the details of
her counterpart's life, Akane would have been able to read something of
Scarlet's history on her face.

 "What happened to you?" Akane asked, touching her reflection in the water
and watching the ripples spread out across the... pond? Spring? Well?
"Sometimes what I find out about you turns my stomach, and others... I just
feel sorry for you..."

 "I wouldn't touch that, if I were you," a voice said from behind her.

 Akane whirled, drawing her sword in one smooth motion, placing her back to
the water.

 "Hmm. Well _that's_ about par for the course..." said the small black cat
who sat just out of the reach of Akane's sword. "Same old Scarlet..."

 "Darn it, I'm not her!" Akane snapped. Waitaminute... "Did you just talk?"

 "Feh. You've ridden on dragonback, met harpies, elves and leonines,
travelled through time and space, and a talking cat surprises you?"

 Akane double-blinked, lowering her sword. "Sorry. It's my first day..."

 The cat gave a sneezing laugh. "Not bad. Guess you _do_ have a rudimentary
sense of humor, after all."

 "What ARE you?"

 "Who, honey. I'm a who, not a what."

 "A Who? Like in that book by Dr. Seuss?"

 "Er, no-"

 "Like that funny curly-haired gaijin who used to consult with Dr. Tofu?

 "No, no no. _Who_ as in a person, as opposed to an object."

 "You're not a person, you're a cat!"

 The cat sniffed. "You won't get very far in this world if you insist on
such narrow definitions of personhood. As it happens, I'm not a cat, either.
I'm a god."

 "Great..." Akane muttered, standing and sheathing her sword. "Talking
felines with delusions of grandeur. It's 'Akane-chan in Wonderland'..."

 "Well, if you're at all inclined to listen to reason, (which is doubtful
considering who you are,) don't play with Mimir's Well. It's not a toy."
Thunder rumbled in a cloudless sky, making the small black cat glance up
sheepishly. "Well, it's not _supposed_ to be one, anyway. You especially
shouldn't be posing rhetorical questions while touching it; the Well has a
nasty habit of removing the 'rhetorical' part of the equation. See?"

 Akane glanced back over her shoulder and gasped. In the pool, playing out
like some sort of film, were images... of herself!

 "What the..."

 "You asked the Well what happened to Scarlet, so it's showing you." The cat
twitched his tail in irritation. "This sort of thing isn't really for mortal
eyes, y'know."

 "_You're_ watching."

 "I'm not a mortal, am I?"

 "You're asking me?" She couldn't help it. Something about this cat set her
teeth on edge. She could feel waves of, -well, not malice, really, more like
disapproval- from the little beast. "What's your problem anyway, cat?"

 "My problem is that one of my least favorite beings in the multiverse is
mucking about in my backyard. What are you doing here, anyway?"

 "Aren't you God? You tell me. And what's all that rot about being your
least favorite?! I've never even met you before in my life!"

 "I'm _a_ god, not _The_ God. I'm not omniscient, am I? If I was, I wouldn't
need the Well, would I? And as for why I dislike you, well, let's see..."
The cat paused and scratched briefly behind an ear with a hind leg. "You're
short-tempered, sex-obsessed, violent... You take grave offense at the
teeniest provocations, in nine out of ten timelines you engage in a vaguely
sado-masochistic co-dependent relationship with a kid _I_ happen to think
can do _way_ better than you-"

 "Oh, screw you!"

 "Not on a Bet, honey."

 "Whatever. You don't know me, you're just making assumptions!"

 "Hey, I've seen thousands of your analogues make the same stupid mistakes.
You'll forgive me if I don't put much stock in your chances."

 "Fine! I make mistakes? What are they? Tell me, and maybe I'll do better!"

 "Sorry, no can do. That'd take all the fun out of seeing you make an ass of
yourself. I _love_ a good joke. Speaking of jokes, I ask again: Why are you
polluting my personal space?"

  Akane was rapidly losing patience with the so-called god. It was all she
could do to keep from lashing out at the little black cat, only she wasn't
going to give him the satisfaction. "If you must know, the Magus found a
portal which would lead me to 'the author of my misfortune'. Of course, I
was expecting it to take home so I can deal with Scarlet, but... here I am."
A thought occurred. "You little furball! This whole mess is _your_ fault!"

 "Lady, do YOU have the WRONG cat. I'm merely a bystander to your
misfortunes, kiddo." His ear twitched. "Say, do you REALLY want to meet the
author of your misfortune? 'Cause she's around here someplace, if you wanted
to stick around for a few..."

 "Is it Scarlet?"

 "Um... Maybe?" The cat winced.

 "No, that's okay. I think I'll find my own way, thanks."

 "Suit yourself, red." The cat yawned and stretched, pausing momentarily to
chase a butterfly fluttering by before he resumed his grooming.

 Akane sniffed disdainfully. Snotty little critter. She returned her
attention to the Well, where a scene of Scarlet savagely fighting her way
through a phalanx of female warriors was playing silently. She tapped a
finger to her chin.

 Now, she thought, if this thing can _show_ the past, maybe it can take me
there, too...

 "Well, show me my home."

 The pool rippled, then cleared, displaying the Tendou home and dojo. It was
late evening, and she could see her father sitting on the back porch playing
Shogi by lantern-light with a heavyset man in a white gi and kerchief.

 "Okay, and this is my home as it was, accounting for the time that's passed
since Scarlet and I switched bodies?" She said that last hesitantly, but the
Magus had warned her that it was important to be specific when dealing with
magic.

 The Well didn't answer aloud, nor did she expect it to, really, but the
picture didn't change, so she assumed it was correct. Okay then. She plunged
her hand into the pool and cried out: "Well, take me home!"

 She expected a flash of light, or maybe the shimmering disorientation she'd
felt when passing through the Magus' portal. Instead-

 Nothing happened.

 Zip. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Naught. Nil. Squat. Jack.

 Actually, that's not entirely true. SOMEthing happened. The little black
cat fell over laughing.

 "What's so funny?"

 "Y-you-" the cat snorted, "you didn't actually expect that to work, did
you? I mean, come ON! You're stupid, but not THAT stupid."

 Akane growled low under her breath, stood up and stalked over to the
snickering pseudo-cat. "Y'know, I'm getting sick and tired of your attitude,
buster. You've got some nerve!"

 The little black cat was suddenly a not-so-little black panther. "What was
that, lunchmeat?" it growled, showing a significant amount of
spittle-dripping fang.

 "Yipe!" Akane yelped, leaping back into a warding position. Unfortunately,
she underestimated her springing power and tumbled, ass-over-teakettle, into
the Well. The panther blinked in surprise as the ebony-haired warrior
disappeared into the waters with a sound not unlike a flush.

 "Hmm," said the cat, blinking once as Akane failed to surface. "THAT'S
never happened before..."

 Lloth's shapely humanoid form materialized next to him, bearing a six-pack
of Yebisu and a bowl of pretzels. "Hey Toltiir, what's with the panther
form?"

 "Oh, this ol' thing? Borrowed it off one of Bailesu's moon-cats."

 "Oh, okay. So, what'd I miss?"

 Toltiir glanced over at the ripples forming in the Well. "I'm not quite
sure..."

***

NEXT TIME: Ranma may have escaped the wrath of Ukyo for the time being, but
there's still the siblings Kunouu and Ryouga to deal with! Also, has Yuu
been a gentleman with our Kasumi? Where exactly has Akane been flushed to?
Will Nabiki figure out what happened to her Akane? Will you see another
chapter before you're eligible for social security? Tune in next time, same
Bet time, same Bet channel...

AUTHORS NOTES AND RAMBLINGS: Is this an Akane gets Ranma fic? Maybe, maybe
not. Which Akane? And what do I mean by "getting" Ranma? Who knows? The
story evolves on me every time I re-read previous chapters. We shall see.
One thing that IS certain is that no one will get Ranma easily. Dammit,
they're gonna hafta WORK for it!

Tai Park comes from various MUSHes and MUCKs, named after David Tai. I
needed a park, thus I borrowed (stole?) the name. Better writers than I have
used it before, so no offense meant. Consider it... an homage. (Yeah, yeah,
that's the ticket...)

This chapter is dedicated in loving memory to Reid Vipond, loving father and
grandfather, wise cleric, and my only Grampa, who passed away March 12th
2001. I'll miss you, Ojisama.


Dave J. Menard
------------------------------------------------------------
fanfics www.spghome.tripod.com
------------------------------------------------------------

"All outward forms of religion are almost useless, and are the causes of
endless strife... Believe there is a great power silently working all things
for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest." -- Beatrix Potter

"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent."
--Jean Kerr

"Still crazy after all these years..."
--Paul Simon


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