DB Sommer wrote:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  You know, I used to look at people mentioning e-mail/C&C backlogs, and wonder what they were talking about.

  I long for the days of my innocent youth. ;)

"Right." The Fixer sighed. His choice of transportation was his own personal
'Techno-Battle Pack', which looked like an oversized silver metal backpack
strapped to him by a metal harness that reached under the arm pits and
across his chest. Two tubes pointing outward from the rear of the device
shot out small jets of red flame, propelling him through the air. Though it
was louder than the anti-gravity propulsion system in Mentallo's flying
disc, the jets were more compact, which the Fixer preferred since that meant
more room for his weapons. A variety of multi-functional weapons were laced
through the entirety of the battle pack, each one capable of dealing with
any aggressive situation in a wide variety of ways.

  arm pits -- armpits

  Mentallo: Do you have the martial artist de-agressor beam handy?

In the eventuality the pack proved insufficient, he had a wide leather
weapon's belt that held a variety of cylindrical objects that resembled
grenades. Also attached to the belt was a specially designed gun that was
linked up to the targeting computer in his helmet, as well as having its own
independent tracking system. And those were merely his second line of
defense. He had the firepower of several army platoons draped on his person.
He could take on a tank division single-handed and probably end up
victorious. Having such power at his command made his heart race.

  weapon's -- weapons (I think. You're trying to indicate what the belt carries, right?)

The Fixer pointed to the set of goggles and headset attached to his helmet.
"Inside this multi-optics headgear is a super speed digital camera that is
recording everything that I see. Linked up as it is with my Techno Pack, it
has a sensor suite that would make the JSDF's best surveillance planes turn
green with envy."

  JSDF: Yeah? We can't even spot Godzilla half the time -- an old telescope and a CNN newsfeed would make us turn green with envy!

Mentallo took note of his partner stopping a moment to do a close up on one
of the people on the street that was staring off into space. Distracted, he
continued hovering, turning the corner of a street, only to come
face-to-tiny face with an unexpected factor in their experiment.

  face-to-tiny face -- face-to-tiny-face (I think. It's normally just 'face-to-face', right?)

"Oh my." Kasumi nearly collided with the flying man.

  'Oh my' or 'Oh, my'? If it were an exclamation, I could understand the lack of a comma more easily.

Staring at the tiny girl with wings that hovered directly in front of him,
Mentallo blinked once under his visor, then sighed. "I knew I never should
have listened to Honaga, but noooo. He just had to go on and on about how
drugs would make me forget all about Madoka. Just try the brown acid once,
he says, and now look at what I get: flashbacks a year later."

  Should Honaga's words o' wisdom be in quotation marks, since he's quoting someone? :p

The Fixer let out an irritated moan. "Are you still obsessing about
homosexuals? Didn't the Imperial Hydra warn you... Holy!" He activated his
telescopic lenses on the tiny girl flying in front of Mentallo. "It is a
fairy!"

  Might want to reword that a bit? Looks as though the lenses are on Kasumi, when I think you mean that they're trained on her, or oriented on her, etc.

Embarrassed by the attention she was suddenly receiving, Kasumi blushed. It
took her a moment to compose herself and remember the purpose of her flight.
"Ah, excuse me, but would either of you happen to know who's responsible for
making everyone just stand around? It's not you two, is it? It's really rude
to do this to people, you know."

  Isn't she still naked? In part B she started to put on some clothing, but got distracted by the wings, and then started trying to fly, so...

"Keep back!" Kasumi cried. As panic gripped her mind and her heart raced
like a triphammer, a tingling sensation built up in her forearms.
Instinctively, she pointed at Mentallo. There was a strange feeling surged
from her forearms and all the way down to her hand and fingers.

  Kasumi: Kame-ha-me-HA!

A crimson blast of energy leaped from her hands, catching Mentallo with a
glancing blow to his shoulder. Despite the fact the shot barely struck the
telepath, there was still enough force to send him spinning off his disc and
to the ground five feet below, were he landed on his back. He tried rising
to his feet, but fell back down, stunned by the combination of energy and
the fall.

  Repetition of 'feet'? One is a unit of distance, and the other is a reference to, well... feet... Nah. I'm probably just being nitpicky.

  Feel free to ignore me!

"Snap out of it and reestablish mental contact with the populace!" the Fixer
shouted as he drew a gun from his belt. A narrow cable connected it with his
multi-optics helmet. With his weapon currently in battle mode, a head's up
display appeared in his goggles, a targeting sight dominating his vision. He
lined the sights upon the flying girl, barely able to manage a general lock
onto her because of her small form. He fired four times, sending a quartet
of 'tracker shells,' of his own design, after her. Once locked onto a
target, the tiny computers in the slender projectiles would follow until
they hit an object, presumably what they were aimed at. They were like tiny
heat seeking missiles, and could even perform intricate maneuvers if they
had enough time to react and reacquire their target.

  I _think_ that's 'Heads up' display, hearkening back to the phrase, "heads up", but I'm not sure...

  heat seeking -- heat-seeking (?)

  And this guy probably worked for Daitokuji industries before. Biiko would have loved it, I betcha! :p

The fourth tracker shell evaded the deluge of water and reacquired its
target heading right for her. The sight of the huge object, which appeared
to be the size of a small rocket to her altered perspective, filled her
vision as it whipped towards her at deadly speed. Calling on every ounce of
strength she had, she twisted her body away from the speeding missile. The
projectile rushed past her, the heated surface of the metal side gently
caressing her flank and nearly catching on her tiny garb and ripping it from
her body.

  Yeep. Uh... first sentence, I would recomend a comma between target and heading.

  Second sentence, you say it's large, and then say that she thinks that it's large... is that right?

The tracker shell continued onward, striking an empty store and shattering
the wide picture window in front. The blast it unleashed destroyed the
displays within. Kasumi cringed when she was the remains of a mannequin that
was hit dead on by the shell.

  dead on -- dead-on (?)

She was very, very, angry.

  Kasumi: Please don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me, angry...

Seeing his partner was fully revived, the Fixer said, "Get these people back
under your control before they break free and figure out who wiped their
brains out for the last half hour."

  half hour -- half-hour

It took only a moment for Mentallo to reestablish control over the populace
and returned them to their previous mindless state. Finished, he turned to
his partner, still trying to get the nauseating fumes from out of his nose.
"What was that? A super-reviver gas you designed? An un-unconsciousnator
device?"

  'un-unconsciousnator'?

  I think I just found a new favorite word!

"I am very upset with your behavior," Kasumi softly intoned, hands on her
hips.

  Kasumi: Kasumi SMASH!

Mentallo sent out a telepathic command and Kasumi felt the scratching
increase in her skull. She wavered for a moment, but then forced herself to
concentrate. Using a song she had learned in school as the base her focus
would anchor upon, she expanded her consciousness outward from there,
forcing the presence trying to affect her mind, out.

  I'm getting, 'Volunteers' flashbacks, here...

  "Fight fight fight, for Washington state!"

"Then we do it the old-fashioned way." The Fixer's hand was a blur as he
pulled one of the spheres from his belt and hurled it in Kasumi's direction.

  Fixer: Pikachu!! I choose YOU!

Seeing the ball would miss her by a couple of meters, which seemed like a
couple of houses away to Kasumi, she pointed her hands once again towards
the pair and tried to  make the strange energy burst come forth again. It
took a moment, but the tingling sensation began to make its way through her
forearms and towards her hands.

  Extra space between 'to' and 'make'.

Suddenly, the ball stopped in mid-air instead of sailing past. The
unexpected change in its trajectory caught Kasumi's attention, and she
paused to give it a closer look. It was jet black with a smooth glassy
surface, the only flaw in its texture were two strips of wires embedded
under the sphere's glazed exterior. They circled completely around the
object, one towards the top and the other towards the bottom, each was the
same distance away from the nearest end, giving perfect symmetry to the odd
design.

  I'm drawing a blank on this one. The balls from phantasm? That one Angel from EVA?

"It's a portable gravity well," the Fixer informed her. "Its area of effect
is limited, but it's particularly useful for making bullets, grenades, and
even small rockets veer off course. And as you can tell, it's also useful
for taking care of pesky insects."

  Bullets? You do realize that... comic book physics... comic book physics...

Seeing the results of her handiwork, it occurred to Kasumi that perhaps she
somehow maintained her 'normal' strength despite her diminutive stature. It
would explain how she could force her way so easily out of the man's grasp
and tear off the strips of her dress. However, there were more important
issue to resolve before testing her theory. "Take that!" she cried out as
she blasted the rod and circle components of the Jericho Tube from the
Fixer's Techno Pack, destroying the weapon beyond repair.

  issue -- issues

The Fixer held out his hand for the bottle. "Let me. I'm good at getting
those childproof caps off. It comes from having skilled hands in designing
all of these complex weapon systems."

  Hehe...

"What?! You think people would pay that much for something that has only one
purpose, and a simple one at that?"

  In America? They'd pay ever so much more.

"Oh, I think so, if they want what's inside the bottle, " The Fixer waved
the container temptingly at Mentallo. The tablets made a hollow noise as
they rolled around in the half empty container.

  half empty -- half-empty (?)

"Why you little!" The Fixer shouted at the bottle as he proceeded to beat it
against the ground, his anger against his flying foe temporarily forgotten
as a much more insidious opponent was presented before him.

  Heh. Thought it would fail, somehow. He should have used a laser cutting torch.

Kasumi flew on, dazed by the powerful telekinetic blow. The invisible blast
had caught her completely off-guard, and she had suffered fully from its
effects. It was obvious she could not fight both men alone and save her
neighbors from becoming a bunch of mindless drooling zombies. There was no
telling what sort of havoc those two strangely dressed men -who were almost
certainly 'super-villains' like she has seen on the news lately- had wrecked
on the city. She might be the only person left in the entire country  who
still possessed her identity, and the ability to resist. But she wasn't
strong enough to do so and win. Maybe it was her size. If she could use the
machine to make herself big again, while keeping her wings and energy
blasts, perhaps she would be strong enough to defeat those two menaces, or
at least drive them off and free all of the people.

  she has seen -- she had seen

"Dr. Tofu! Dr. Tofu!" Kasumi cried out as she flew up to his face and looked
past his glasses and into distant eyes. Now that she thought about it, aside
from the slight bit of drool from his open mouth, and the fact he tended to
make a lot more noise, the look wasn't all that different from the one he
sported most of the time.

  Ouch...

The distance to the clinic was not far, though it took five times longer
than normal to get there due to the doctor's plodding pace. Several times he
almost stopped, but all it took was Kasumi flying up and pleading with him
to prod him onward once again. Eventually, the duo ended up in the lab
behind the clinic, next to the equipment that had turned Kasumi's world
upside down.

  Or just made it a lot larger.

"Can you make me grow again?" Kasumi asked, constantly repeating the word
Tofu seemed fixated on.

  I could say something here, but... I won't.

  I'll be good and resist temptation.

"Grow," he said, moving over to a dial marked, 'Mass Increase,' at one end,
and 'Mass Decrease,' at the other. It was currently on the latter, so he
spun it to the left, almost to the maximum of the increase side.

  Must... resist...

"Grow."

  ...

It was too late as the purple rays struck the doctor, bathing him completely
in their eerie light. Instantly, his mass began to increase as he grew in
size. Kasumi's eyes turned as wide as saucers as she witnessed firsthand the
power of Pym Particles. Tofu's normal five eleven frame became tripled. His
clothing tore, shredded into dozens of pieces as his head brushed against
the ceiling. He continued to grow, increasing to twenty-four feet. The roof
gave out then as his head, then shoulders and chest burst through the top
and destroying it. He gave no sign of feeling the effects of driving through
the plaster and brick of his addition. And still he grew, expanding to the
size of forty feet before at last his growth stopped. Dr. Tofu stood alone
in the rubble, the slack-jawed expression at last disappearing as his senses
slowly returned.

  Commage?

  And, dare I ask, what about his clothing? ;)

As the building collapsed, the machines sparked and whined as shattered
pieces of roof smashed the equipment beyond repair. Kasumi was forced to fly
with every ounce of speed she could summon to avoid falling pieces of brick
and mortar. It was a difficult flight, but she managed it, exiting the
building and suffering no injuries. The fight with Mentallo and the Fixer
had been long enough ago that she had recovered her energy. She was in
perfect health, despite the beating she had taken. Again she wondered if her
recuperative powers had been increased as well when she was smaller.

  First sentence: Repetition of 'as'.

"Oh... my." Kasumi quickly covered her eyes, a shudder spreading down her
spine. Tofu had gotten larger in every sense of the word, and with his
clothes torn to shreds among the debris, she could assess that there was
nothing physically wrong with him and all the body parts that men should
have were present. It wasn't the first time she has seen that particular
part. Back in high school a friend had talked her into being naughty once
and they had peeked in the boys' showers after baseball practice. But it had
been nothing like this. But what was before her eyes now was inhuman, and
from her smaller perspective, downright disturbing.

  Heh!

Tofu spun his head back and forth. That was odd. By all rights, if he was
hearing Kasumi's voice, it should have been near the ground, not near him.
"Where are  you?"

  Extra space between 'are' and 'you'.

The voice sounded as though it was right in front of him, but still no one
was present. It made no sense, and he was about to say so, when the reality
of the situation hit him full force. The answer was obvious; he could hear
Kasumi's disembodied voice next to his ear because Kasumi didn't have a body
anymore. The building had crushed her and it was

  Something's missing here, I think.

"No, I suspect I'm too big," Tofu admitted while being overjoyed at the
reports of Kasumi's death being greatly exaggerated.

  Oww...

Kasumi looked to the sky while pointing downward.

  I thought he couldn't see her?

"Oops." For a moment, he was going to cover himself up, but then a wave of
pride shot through him. He was not what women would call a 'man among men,'
in certain departments, which had always bothered his ego, especially when
it came to courting women, but now he was beyond a doubt the 'manliest' man
of them all, even if it was simply because all of his overall dimensions had
increased.

  Oh... that's _so_ bad. Hehe...

Mentallo finally managed to say said, "I don't know about you, but I
suddenly feel very inadequate."

  ...

  Well, at least he doesn't get mad about it. ;)

While the duo formulated their battle plan, Kasumi acted. Seeing Tofu sway
under the telepathic assault, she flew closer to him. "Are you all right?"

  Great plan.

  I find myself actually liking the Fixer and Mentallo bits a good deal, though.

"I think I prefer being called Wasp. Fly Girl has all sorts of connotation I
don't want associated with me."

  ...

  I never even saw it coming.

During the start of the fight between telepath and human insect, the Fixer
found himself opening combat by flying up towards his opponent in order to
stand on at least semi-even ground with him. Once he had drawn closer to the
forty foot Goliath, the genius began to have second thoughts. The man was
even larger than the statue in front of 'Big Boy's.'

  forty foot -- forty-foot (? Not sure about that one.)

  I will refrain from making a Doctor Evil joke.

  It wouldn't be nearly as funny as this story is anyway.

Refusing to be intimidated, the Fixer opened up by firing four stun discuses
with depleted uranium cores from his Techno Pack, and hit Tofu fully in the
chest. Together they had the combined force to knock over an elephant, but
Tofu withstood what would have been bonebreaking force to a normal person.
The impacts did cause him pain, and struck with enough power to cause
bruises to form immediately upon abused flesh, but after teetering for only
a moment, he quickly righted himself. In retaliation, he brought his hand up
and snatched his surprised opponent out of mid-air in unknowing parity to
what the Fixer had done to Kasumi less than half an hour earlier.

  Aahhh... comic-book physics.

  Otherwise I'd mention the whole 'cube:square law' thing... you know.

"This isn't good." The Fixer backed away in caution.

  Observant, isn't he?

The two blasts she loosed were on target, however Mentallo recovered enough
to dodge shakily with his flying disc. Rather than hitting him, one of the
blasts struck the mental amplifying helmet, damaging the casing and causing
sparks to fly. The second blast struck his flying disc dead center, punching
a hole clean through its propulsion unit. Bereft of the power of flight,
Mentallo fell. Fortunately for him, he had been staying close to the ground,
and only fell a single meter and landing on his bottom once again.

  Sheesh. How hard do those bolts hit?

"And there's more on the way," the Fixer moaned as Tofu approached him,
obviously intent on punting him even further away, most likely somewhere
around China. With no time to consider which weapon might come close to
enabling him to survive the blow, Hiroshi Karigiri did the first thing that
came to mind and prayed.

  Which is a lot closer than America, thankfully. :p

"Then where's the other, oh." Tofu squeezed slightly and discovered what his
hand was resting on. "Uh, I didn't accidentally crush him, did I?"

  Suggest a dash or elipse instead of a comma. But then, I abuse those, so my advice is suspect. ;)

Her heart racing with trepidation, Kasumi landed on the ground, closed her
eyes, and did as she was bade. When she opened them again, the world had
returned to its original dimensions. She was about to give a cheer of joy
when she felt something was missing. Peering over her shoulder at her back,
she saw that her wings had disappeared. Feeling a momentary surge of
unexpected panic, a surge worse than the one where she thought she was
trapped at her small height, Kasumi willed herself to shrink again. It
worked as she returned to her 'wasp' form, and was delighted to discover the
wings had returned as well. Once again she willed herself to her original
height. "Oh, Dr. Tofu. It's wonderful. My wings only appear when I'm small,
and I can make myself tiny and big as much as I want..."

  bade -- bidden (?)

  What about clothing?

Kasumi trailed off as she saw that Tofu was lying on his back, face up to
the sky. Blood was trickling from his nostrils in two tiny rivulets. For a
moment, she feared it was a delayed reaction from an injury that had gone
unnoticed, but then she heard him mumble, "So beautiful. Like a pale,
newborn angel."

  Ah. Of course.

Perhaps Dr. Tofu would want to use his abilities too, rather than hide them.
To help others, of course. She was hardly going to use her powers for
something as self-centered as fame or fortune. Just the thrill of having the
abilities and using them was enough reward for her. Perhaps she could even
become one of those super-heroes who seemed to be cropping up all over the
country. Just the other week they had discovered two more costumed heroes.
What where their names again? Oh yes, Captain Japan and his sidekick, Bucky.
Already everyone was trying to guess their secret identities and when they
would appear again. Kasumi wanted to be like them, fighting awful people
with fantastic powers, just like she had tonight. It might be dangerous, and
she could possibly be hurt, but someone had to do it. It might not have been
the same sort of responsibility cooking meals for her family was, but it was
an obligation nonetheless, one to society. With great powers came great
responsibility. At least that was how she felt about the matter.

  Which reminded her. Dinner was burnt.

  'Captain Japan'? Captain America spoof? I have _got_ to read the previous chapters...

With her more flamboyant identity decided, all that was left was to figure
out what sort of costume she should wear, and what size to make it. The
size-changing would make things a bit on the difficult side. She was no
exhibitionist, like that Bucky person, flashing her breasts on nationwide
television and such. The clothing was going to be tricky, all right, but she
had time. All the time in the world, or at least until the next super
villain tried to take over the minds of the population of Nerima.

  Super-Villains local 105: Nerima is off limits. Severely off limits.

And then an errant thought occurred to her which ruined her mood.

"Oh no! The meat!"

  She _had_ to use that word.

The most ironic thing about the whole matter was it never had been her idea
to run things in the first place. She would have been perfectly content to
be a married woman and raise her brood of children, not even wanting a job.
She was old-fashioned that way. But then came the day when the youngest of
her children had finally started college and she stumbled upon her husband's
real source of income. A door-to-door mattress salesman her foot, he had
actually been the leader of one of the world's most reviled terrorist
organizations. She knew she should have suspected things were odd when he
kept bringing in nearly sixty million yen a year; no mattress salesman in
the world made that, even as smooth a talker as her husband could be when
the situation demanded it.

  ...

And that was part of her problem. She was getting too old to run things.
Though she was still in perfect health, the fact was she was at the age
where her heart could give out at any moment. That meant the time had come
to pass the reigns of command on to someone else. Since running Hydra had
been a family business, it would be best to give it to the next generation
of her offspring. There were some difficulties. All but one of her children
had married. While it was true her oldest was to the point of frustration
with his marriage that he would probably welcome the opportunity to become a
terrorist, his first act would probably be to kill his own family, and she
was rather fond of the grandchildren. So that meant offering the position to
her youngest first. It was not as though he was doing anything important,
like getting married and providing her with grandchildren to dote upon. It
was time the useless layabout did something important with his life, like
try to take over a large portion of the world.

  God, I wish my grandmother were that cool.

But Mentallo and the Fixer were far from the most important thing on her
mind. No, that honor belonged to another. The old woman closed the secret
panel on her portable shrine and hefted it once more upon her back. What was
of far more concern than even the loss of the prototype and the loss of two
operatives was the identity of the giant man, and the questions surrounding
him, one first and foremost on the Imperial Hydra's mind.

  It's the ladle-lady, isn't it?

How on Earth did her son, Tofu Ono, get involved in the super-hero business?
And more importantly, what was she going to do about it?

  Ack! Kin Ono? Hmm...

Special thanks once again to William Morse and Gary Ee for looking this
over.

  I came into this fic C&Cing something I expected to be good, and was simply floored by hor great it really was

  _EXCELENT_ work, Mr. Sommer. I am _very_ impressed, and eagerly awaiting more. :)

D.B. Sommer