DB Sommer wrote:

BR wrote:

   This story should be finished pretty shortly...

And perhaps my C+C as well:

  I'm certainly not going to complain!

Plene Evigilo

I know that one too. It was also the food theme for the Iron Chef this week.

  Er... no. It's an annoying Latin phrase that would give away too much of the plot in English, so the translations are provided in English in the epliogue.

  Or something like that. ;)

There were gods, and there were demons... And Senbei knew, there
were Concepts, too.

Like the one for 'The Real World.' Now that one had been scary.

  More evil than Old Scratch hisself!

Himself being little more than an especially powerful spirit, was in
no position to deal with a Concept. Things like... well, it was best not
to think of them too much, or their attention could be drawn.

And too much would be given away to the reader.

  Actually, I was more worried that the readers would find it boring.

The Concepts were divided into two groups, each being an opposite of
the other. Where there were many goddesses of love, there was only one
Concept of love, and then, she governed over each _kind_ of love...
though curiously, humans seemed to spend much more time and interest in
romantic love rather than any other kind

Odd. Most of the people I know are more into lust. They just claim they are
looking for romantic love. :)

  Senbei's being (for him) kind.

Worse, the concepts were subject to themselves, and each other in
ways too complex for Senbei to understand. As a rule, things that Senbei
didn't understand, but could casually destroy him, were a Bad Thing.

Works that way for most humans too.

  Yeah, but we get that whole, "Ignorance is bliss" thing, so...

So he considered simply laying low, hiding, and completely
disassociating himself from Mara for the duration. She never liked him,
anyway, only the things he could do for her. And that didn't suit him at
_all_.

Since it meant no nookie. Although given his size, that was either the
ultimate blessing or ultimate curse to a woman, depending on her mentality.

  ... Next question!

Belldandy pursed her lips thoughtfully, taking the cassette and
replacing it in its case. "I believe," she started cautiously, "that
Megumi... might be the lady."

Thought 'lady' was supposed to be capitalized.

  ACK! You are correct.

Two pair

pairs

  Whoops.

Belldandy interjected smoothly, "But he could easily make it so that
the Lord of Terror's attention were drawn

was drawn

  Whoops! I'll change it.

He wasn't certain where he was going, except that he would know when
he saw it.

Heh. Know that feeling too.

  I have to wonder what it was in search of. ;)

The trouble was, after all that they had been through together, he
couldn't help but feel that she had always done much more for him, than
he had for her.

Well, she came with Urd and Skuld attached, so she has at the same time done
things TO him as well as for him. :)

  That's very true, but he's not in the mindset to think that.

Something to prove his worthiness to her, he supposed, though he
wasn't certain what, yet. He idly wondered if he should have found a way
to bring Megumi along, but she was busy calling their parents, along
with whoever else needed to be told about the fire. So that left him
alone to find a ring... a ring for Belldandy.

Still think he should try and fine 'The One Ring.'

  It would take one look at Belldandy and kill itself.

  I have no idea how a ring kills itself, but it would, I just know it.

She sighed softly, clad one

clad in one

  Got it.

yesterday with her brother. Bought for her with money that he might have
been saving for an engagement ring for Belldandy, she noted guiltily.
The woman in question, however, was sitting near the back door, humming
idly, and knitting at a scarf.

I would think more like knitting a scarf than knitting at one.

  Ah... I had a very good reason for writing it that way, but as the story progressed, I realized it was a very bad reason.

  Then I forgot to fix it. >_<

Megumi's smile strengthened at that. Her brother was a good guy, she
thought, and Belldandy was great person, too. They deserved each other.

Ordinarily I would scoff and say 'If only it was that easy' but since O!MG
is fiction, it is. :)

  Ouch.

But that didn't make sense.

I think it will by the end.

  Well, one would hope, but keep in mind who's writing this. I don't think I exactly have a real reputation for 'good' endings to stories.

  Come to think of it, every fic ending I wrote generated more negative response than good.

  I should just write never-ending fics. Yeah, that's it...

The thick wooden floor bore a faint layer of dust, and assorted
antiques lined the walls, as short display cases littered the floor, dim
and failing lights showing various rings with their price tags. He
pondered briefly at the darkness, and faint chime sounding as the door
swung shut behind him.

Bit of a run on there from the feel of it.

  _And_ I mentioned price-tags, which the clerk mentions later they don't have!

Dismissing the man for the moment, Keiichi turned to the rows of
display cases, peering closely at the nearest selection of rings. "Hey,"
he complained after a moment, "none of these things have prices."

Man: Everything has a price. The tender is simply not always money. My name
is Leland Gaunt, and I think I can help you.

  That name should ring a bell.

  Needful Things? I think I listened to the audio version of that book on a road trip once. A long road trip. Do you know who wrote it?

Coughing softly, the man behind the counter approached, eyeing
Keiichi distastefully. "Of course," he murmured. "My general clientele
have no need of 'prices'."

See. I was right.

  Well...

There was a sensation in the pit of her stomach... the feeling of
impending disaster. But she pushed it away. Belldandy said that Megumi
was the Lady. With the Lady, nothing could go wrong, she told herself.
Nothing.

What, things didn't go wrong with her being present before? Sounds like they
did. Sounds suspiciously like Skuld is trying to convince herself of
something.

  Probably because she is.

Keiichi looked up slowly, sensing something approaching him. He
wasn't certain how, but he sensed it. Pulling to a sudden stop, he
glanced around the empty street. No more jewelry stores,

Why would he need another jewelry store?

  I have no idea.

  Keiichi: They're easy to rob. I have to support three goddesses _somehow_.

A voice alerted him, and he spun, seeing the demoness from the day
before again. "Mara," he said levelly, trying to push the images of her
at the hot springs out of his mind. Why did they haunt him like that,
anyway?

Because you're not gay? :)

  Keiichi: Well, yeah, but ASIDE from that?

The second nodded, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Yeah.
I did. We should probably go home..."

Hmm. The summoning of knights is beginning so soon?

  It all begins around a single figure...

  And if you mention, 'Ta'veren', I will be forced to weep publicly.

The clerk looked patently bored, handing him a key.

Hmm. This is potentially interesting. Wonder if he'll go through with it.

  Keiichi: I am _so_ there.

Belldandy gently placed her hand against Megumi's forehead,
retaining her ever-present warm smile. "I told you that you would
remember when it was important," she said cheerfully, as Megumi's entire
being was suddenly set afire

Yeah. I'd say that's important all right to remember when one is an inferno.

  I think there was a comic book character named the 'Human Torch' or some such... wasn't there? We should ask him. ;)

It was as though she could feel the very floor beneath her, not
against her skin, but against... itself, as though she were suddenly
become

becoming

  Will adjust.

  Was intentional, but it looks really bad in retrospect. :/

She walked across the yard to her brother, who was reading a book,
and he smiled at her.

Oh? Not Keiichi?

  Well...

She presented the Once and Future King with his blade. He dubbed it,
'Chrysaor', 'Durandal', 'Sanglamore',

Pigsticker, Gutcutter, and other fun, lovably names.

  Depends on the mythos. The name isn't very important, really. People tend to make it seem more important than it is. ;)

She watched with horror as her brother defeated her again, sending
an adder to end the life of the King. Arthur, Parikshit, Marduuk

Akio Ohtori. Of course, everyone cheered when he died.

  Heh.

Mara lay tired, catching her breath.

Would have been more amusing had she been disappointed with his performance.

  Yeah, but this isn't that kinda story. ;)

"Mmm..." she began, biting back her first word. "Are you mad at me?"
she asked instead.

Keiichi: If I were, you would be dead.

  Mara: I love it when you talk like that.

"Think you, then," he began, "that that meant nothing to me?" He
shook his head. "You think wrongly. I care for you. Deeply.

Keiichi: I would kill you if it suited my purpose, of course. But I would
snuff out your life lovingly.

  Ah, he seems more evil than he is. He's a great big cuddly puppy, really.

  Keiichi: But a great big _evil_ cuddly puppy.

And suddenly, the blinding optimism of the love that Belldandy felt
as her doublet partner wasn't such a nuisance anymore. Sighing softly,
she retreated into the chamber her master had prepared for her --
replete with fresh clothing, so that she wouldn't need to expend any of
her own energy to create them -- and rest.

Ohh. Things are moving on. Will get to the rest at some later time. I'm
going to bed for now.

  Thanks for going through so much and C&Cing it -- it helps a lot!

Very nice work, as always.

  �_�

  I wouldn't say 'always'... but thanks! :D

D.B. Sommer