Most weapons are still traditional as well. There are a few rifles and
other firearms throughout Hyrule, but you'll rarely find anything more
sophisticated than a Bombchu in regular use - again, the more complicated a
machine is, the harder it is to use and maintain. Bombchus are typically made
to explode anyway, as are the more mundane (and much more common) bombs. It
helps that Hyrule hasn't had to fight a war against outside invaders in
several millenia, of course.
Which just begs the question (from me, at least): what lies beyond
the borders of Hyrule?
(hmm... story idea? Must consider this...)
As a result, it's still not unusual to walk through one part of the
countryside or another and see teenagers riding on horseback at nearly
breakneck speeds, swinging swords or nocking arrows to bowstrings, sometimes
throwing boomerangs or fragment-etched pots (to simulate the impact of bombs)
I had to think about this for a minute to realize what you
(probably?) meant. Granted, it's a nice turn of phrase, and a good,
succint description of the object in question, but 'fragment-etched
pot' by itself takes a fair bit of thinking to puzzle out. For me,
at least.
Perhaps something a bit more... expressive? Say,
... throwing boomerangs or fragile pots (to simulate ...
Or something along those lines, perhaps.
Just a suggestion.
to hone their skills. Most of the time these are just friendly competitions,
but you'll also find young warriors who are honing their skills in earnest,
for hunting or to try for a spot in the royal guard. However, the really
serious training is done indoors, where the trainees can be carefully watched
by those who are teaching them.
Or at least that's the idea.
Just a minor nit-pick, here, but I think you'd do better to put a
scene break between this and the following paragraph. It seems a
natural place for a scene break; much like the intro sections of
movies and anime, where the camera is slowly panning over the
countryside while the narrator starts the tale, the preceding
paragraphs feel like an intro. From this last sentence on, though,
it feels like the action has started.
That's just my opinion, though, and it's not like it detracts from
the tale as-is. ;)
Link took a few steps back, tightening his guard and watching both of
his opponents. "Yeah, well, if you want a Link, you've got him."
"Don't you mean the weak Link in the chain?" Lomar charged forward,
Boo! Bad pun! Boo!
bringing his sword down in an overhead slash that practically ignored Link's
defenses and drove the boy to his knees, shoulder throbbing. "Din's flames,
kid, you're *older* than any young hero in the legends, never mind Zelda's
own!"
The next slash came square across Link's shield, but with enough force
at just the right angle to send him sprawling flat on his back. "So count
yourselves lucky -" Link rolled away, hand clenched tightly around the hilt of
his sword. "- that we don't have any evil kings being resurrected this year!"
<cue ominous music>
"Oh, please," sighed Gill melodramatically as he closed in on his shared
opponent. "Like you'd stand a chance against Ganon if he walked up and
introduced himself by name?"
Link's hand tightened further. "You know as well as I do that that's not
how the legend -"
"Right, right," snarled Lomar, closing from Link's other side. "Evil
king gets resurrected somehow, princess is kidnapped or something, shadows
gather, monsters appear, yadda yadda rock-screwing yadda -"
"SHUT UP!!!" Link's sword flashed straight out in front of him just
before he pivoted around on one heel, light trailing behind the wooden blade.
"I've told you -"
The sound of two bodies hitting the padded floor cut him off in mid-
thought. Except for that and one whispered phrase of swearing, the room was
silent.
Link didn't let the silence last, dropping his sword and shield and
kneeling next to Lomar; Gill was already sitting up as the young boy ripped
Lomar's tunic open to reveal the welts which were starting to seep blood.
"Damn," groaned Link. "Kedan, get the emergency kit - and for all the
goddesses' sakes, *use the null-gloves*! The last thing I need is you soaking
up Hearts when Lomar needs them!"
With an audible gulp, the youngest student in the room dashed for the
wall alcove where the emergency treatment kit was stored, running back over
with it and pulling on the magically-insulated mittens which were kept next to
it.
"Don't move; Gill, hold him down," said Link to both of his erstwhile
opponents as Kedan knelt next to him and opened the white metal box to reveal
a row of softly glowing red crystals and an assortment of more conventional
medical supplies. "Kedan, have you - good. One Heart should stabilize him,
right there," he indicated the center of the injured area. "Be careful with it
but don't hesitate."
"Okay," Kedan nodded, resisting the urge to swallow again. His gloved
fingers closed gently around one of the red Heart crystals, lifting it out of
the padded case and pressing it to Lomar's skin; with a faint chiming sound,
the crystal melted and seeped into the boy's body, taking the blood with it
and closing the wound.
"And I would say that puts an end to today's training session," a grown-
up voice interrupted several sighs of relief. Link's father stepped down onto
the straw mats that covered the floor of the training room, looking around. "I
trust that this will put an end to unmonitored 'training' for the next three
months or so, particularly if that was bad enough to merit using a Heart to
treat."
"Father!" exclaimed Link as he scrambled back to his feet. "It wasn't my
idea -"
"I don't care whose idea it was, Link, you *know* the rules of any
training hall: no duels, practice or otherwise, are to be held without proper
supervision and equipment. If any of you were using sharp or metal swords I'd
already have your hides soaking in oak and water, but since I only see wooden
I can only presume that this is a Hylian euphemism for "I'll tan yer
hide, boy!"?
:)
It has a nice touch. I like.
swords - without padding, but not sharpened - I'll let you three off with a
month of daily clean-up duty, and no excuses if you're not here to do it. I
don't care if the Evil King," the teacher paused to trace a sigil in the air,
"does walk in here and demand that everyone bow to him: you three *will* be
here daily after lesson time, even if we don't have lessons on a given day,
and I'll personally make sure you have work to do. Understood?"
GANON: BOW BEFORE ME, PUNY HYLIAN SCUM!
KIDS: B-but Ganon, sir, we've got chores...
GANON: Oh, well, by all means, then...
"Yes," came the trio of answering sighs.
"Good. Link, stay here; the rest of you are dismissed. Gill, Lomar,
extra duty starts tomorrow for you. - Oh, and take the used swords to the
workshop for repairs; I see splinters on the floor."
"Your dad's got an eagle's eyes," Lomar whispered to Link. "Bet the
eagle's not too happy."
Link managed a wry grin as he handed his sword and shield over to Lomar.
"See you tomorrow, Loam."
I'd hate to have that as a nickname. I mean, really -- Smelly Dirt?
(well, that's ONE interpretation... ;)
Link's father waited until the other students had cleared the training
hall before motioning at the floor around where Link was standing. "Start
picking up those splinters - oh, close the emergency kit first, we don't need
to keep any extra injuries in there." As Link began working, his father
??? Not quite sure what that phrase means.
started asking questions. "What exactly happened?"
"The usual, with a few new variations," Link answered as he began
picking loose splinters out of the woven straw mats that covered the floor. "I
got teased about my name, I tried to come back with some good remarks, next
thing I know the teasing's gotten out of hand and they've strapped on their
shields, someone's tossing swords to us ..."
"So why did you use that technique?"
Link had to stop for a moment and think. "You mean the move you taught
me early in my training?"
With a sigh, Link's father sat down on the mats, handing a few splinters
to his son. "Link, I knew when we named you that we were saddling you with a
burden you'd have to shoulder for many years, maybe your whole life. Now, most
of my family and a fair portion of your mother's, at least among the males,
has been in the royal guard at one point or another; we've even had a couple
of Links in the family tree."
"And the Kaitengiri?"
"Our family's got as much right to use the Kaitengiri technique as any
warrior clan among the Hylians ... but I trusted you to have the judgement not
to use it unless you absolutely had to. It's on every damn shield in this
training hall, Link - the Triforce. Courage and Power you've got, but you make
me wonder about Wisdom at least twice a week, usually more. I was starting to
worry before today, you've been unusually sound in your judgement lately ..."
Heh!
Link looked up sharply before realizing that his father was teasing him,
and his scowl faded into a smile. "How many weeks did I make up for?"
"Not enough to get you out of cleanup duty." Link's father smiled back.
"Look on the bright side; you'll be done one day before those two oafs."
"They're not oafs, father. They're good students ... better than I am."
"Don't say that, boy; they've got height, strength, and experience on
you. Not talent, and definitely not the willingness to learn - you're a sponge
for knowledge, Link, and I'm really proud of you for that."
Link dropped his handful of splinters into the tightly-woven sack his
father held out. "I didn't see you at the doorway when I did the Kaitengiri."
"I wasn't," Link's father answered. "I heard the sound of a sword
sweeping through the air, though, and between that and Lomar lying flat on his
back and bleeding, I figured it out. One of these days," he mused briefly,
"I'm going to check to see just how much you do notice in the Kaitengiri ...
well, that's for another time; it takes forever to set up properly. It wasn't
invented just as an attack technique, you know."
That got Link's attention. "It wasn't?"
"Well ... the truth is, nobody's too certain, but there are more
efficient ways to strike out with focused power than to swing your weapon
Hinting at some new abilities for later on, I hope? :)
I always thought it sucked that the move changed from throwing a
blade of energy at your foes (Zeldas I, II, maybe others) to
swinging your blade in a circle around you, trailing energy behind
(Ocarina of Time, Mask [I think], etc).
around in a circle. My theory has always been that the Kaitengiri was intended
for use in the middle of a big battlefield with fighting going on all around;
the elite knights who waded into the thick of the enemy's forces would need to
check their surroundings, but they couldn't do that without letting their
guard down."
"So they developed a technique that would drive any opponents back for
that split second," Link realized. "I never thought of it that way."
"Still, it takes a few seconds to prepare, and it requires full
concentration while you're getting ready to unleash the Kaitengiri. The
technique may have grown some weaknesses since its origin, for all we know."
Hear, hear! I've beaten all the Zelda games (and yes, I do realize
that this is not *exactly* based directly on any of them), and lemme
tell ya: the only thing I really used the Spin Attack for was to cut
down a bunch of bushes at once so I didn't have to walk around and
whack 'em all! :)
"It didn't really feel like it." Link looked around, placed another
handful of splinters in the sack, and stood up straight again. "Although I
guess without going back and seeing how some of the legendary heroes did it,
we'll never know."
"Yeah." Link's father slowly drew his gaze along the floor, searching
for any splinters his son had missed; he didn't see any. "How's your hand?"
Although his hands were still covered by leather practice gloves, the
fingertips of Link's right hand brushed against the back of his left hand.
"It's still there."
"The hand, or the mark from that sting?" Link's father looked concerned.
With a faint sigh, Link reluctantly answered, "Both. I told you it
wasn't an insect's sting or bite, father; I'm sure that was a fairy touching
me."
"Link, whatever it is, that was a whole week ago - and nothing I know of
leaves splotches *around* the sting for a mark while the point of contact
itself keeps the appearance of normal skin."
Link looked down, remembering the sudden flush of warmth that had seared
from his hand through his whole body when the floating ball of light had
touched the back of his hand. "You don't believe me either."
"I didn't say that."
"You don't have to say it, father; I know that's what you think about
it. Fairies don't exist; everyone knows that - except there's nothing else it
could have been!"
"This 'everyone' you mention must have a penchant for denying reality."
Link's father scowled, but this time the scowl was directed at empty air.
"Look, you know about Heart crystals backwards and forwards; you always make
sure to handle them with null-magic gloves or tongs, something that won't
conduct the energy back into you. Even ordinary metal or dead wood carries the
life-essence back to the living being holding it. Now, where do Hearts come
from?"
"They're crystallized life-essence," answered Link dutifully, "in a
loose matrix which remains stable until it comes into contact with a living
flow of life-force energy."
Y'know, I just want to say that this is the best take on the whole
Hearts concept I've seen in Zelda fanfiction -- not that I've seen a
whole lot of it, mind you -- and I really like it.
Also: I like the whole setup you seem to have going here -- ie, the
Hylians aren't backwoods hicks, they know about and understand
technology, they just choose not to use it unless needed. Very
spiff!
TO BE CONTINUED
You had better! :)
Author's notes:
This is actually my first independent fanfiction work in some time; I
wrote what may have been my last episode of MTCFF Ultra a month or so ago, and
I have a couple of other projects simmering at the moment, including the
DHY/BtVS crossover which is in a holding pattern (it's set between seasons 3
and 4 as far as the Buffy angle goes, so no worries about her being dead), but
I really wanted to do a Zelda fanfic - something which I don't think there
have been many of.
Why write about The Legend of Zelda? It's been one of my favorite game
series, in one way or another, ever since the original game on the original
Nintendo Entertainment System; unfortunately, it wasn't until this summer that
I actually *finished* a Zelda game.
The problem has been that I've never had a video game system of my own,
so until recently, I could only play video games on rented systems. "Recently"
dates back roughly to the American release of Pokemon Red and Blue, when I
finally marshalled my resources and bought a Game Boy Pocket; I considered
buying Link's Awakening, but I was never totally sure about it ... and then
the Oracles games came out for the Game Boy Color - by which time a friend had
given me a GBC, and I finally dove back into the Zelda canon.
Quick recap here: I've played part of the original Legend of Zelda, a
little bit of The Adventure of Link (I didn't like the changes), about the
first half of A Link to the Past (through the fight with Agahnim in the
castle), and both Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons, in both individual and
continuation modes. Link's Awakening and the N64 Zelda games I've only
heard/read about.
Bwah? Okay... I gotta say, you've really got a feel for the Ocarina
of Time continuity, then. Especially for never having played it.
Nintendo's own website for the Zelda universe would have you believe
that all of the Zelda games take place over the lifetime of a single Link; I
Nintendo can go spit up a rope; we fans know the truth. :)
have a hard time believing that based on what *I* know, and some of the other
Zelda players I've met online (who have more knowledge of the actual games)
don't believe a word of it. With that thought in mind, I considered the series
title: The Legend of Zelda. And I thought about the way the timeline seems to
be arranged when you look at the major games (at least if you define "major"
as those in which Link actually fights Ganon).
[snip era discussion]
That's my take on it as well, with the caveat that I've yet to
marshal the resources to purchase Majora's Mask (although what I've
read about it leads me to believe that the safest way to think about
it, in terms of how it fits into the whole Zelda storyline, is to
treat it as an excursion into a parallel dimension! ;), and as such,
I tend to leave it out of my, er, calculations. :)
Here you see the first part of the results, and I really hope that (1)
you've enjoyed it so far and (2) I can keep myself up to this kind of
standard. Part of the reason I'm writing this *now* is to keep myself from
getting homesick while I'm in Japan for my year of study-abroad.
Actually, the being-in-Japan part is a more direct contribution ...
because, as a nice little side effect of being in Tokyo, I got to go to
Nintendo Spaceworld last weekend with some of my IES classmates, and the Smash
Bros. Deluxe page in the guidebook included a Japanese phrase which I'd been
searching for: the original Japanese term for Link's infamous Spin Attack.
Hopefully you figured it out in the reading, but if you didn't, that's the
Kaitengiri. ^_^;
This is some excellent work. I've only seen one other Zelda fanfic
cross the FFML since I came on board back in... um... '98, I want to
say? At any rate, this is technically superb, and if the plot lives
up to its prologue, the story will blow my doors off. :)
I couldn't find any problems with this piece, although there are
several items that leave me wondering. I believe I'll list them
here, but don't worry overmuch about answering them; this is just me
being excited about something. :)
1) What was Link's father's name? About halfway through one section
of this chapter (measured from where we first see him to where he's
been put on ice), I found myself becoming slightly -- very slightly
-- irritated that we didn't know his name. Why, I couldn't tell
you... that's just the way I felt.
2) This is more approving than disapproving, despite what I'm about
to say, so take it as such, please. :) I found the use of language,
specifically epithets and cursing, to be somewhat jarring,
considering the source material. Zelda canon, AFAIK, *never* used
any sort of swearing whatsoever. Now, bear in mind that I've only
had experience with the American releases of Zelda games, and the
American market is well-known (perhaps infamous would be a better
word?) for 'cleaning up' Japanese originals to fit cultural mores.
I personally prefer the more mature theme you've portrayed here...
but it IS, again AFAIK, going against canon. Whether you want to do
that or not is, of course, up to you. :)
3) Moblins? I'm familiar with most Hyrulian monsters, but this one
just doesn't ring a bell.
4) The thought of using Bombchus as weapons of war just scares me.
Does the term 'friendly fire' mean anything to you? ;)
5) I was somewhat disappointed that Twinrova offed Zelda's parents
so quickly. Given, the Hyrule people haven't seen war in -- well,
quite a while -- and as such, aren't likely to be too well prepared
for this sort of thing... but, still. A final death scene where one
or the other entrusts Link (who's the only one left around, everyone
else having fled in panic) with Zelda's safety or the quest to
return the Triforce or some such, would justify their quick demise,
in my opinion. As is... well, to be blunt, it feels as though you
trotted out some stock characters and killed them just to drive home
a point (ie, Twinrova's a bitch). This may be what you intended,
but I'd like it more, I think, if they were a bit more important to
the story. I mean, they ARE the King and Queen, after all. :)
At any rate, I'm eagerly looking forward to more of this!
Brian Payne
sofaspud@sofaspud.org
Sofaspud's Couch - helping otaku avoid reality since 1999...
http://www.sofaspud.org
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