DB Sommer wrote:

Looking over one last old message before I get back to writing:

   Fate and Destiny: Part Two

   Suscitatio

Ah, a title based on a late 80's Phil Collins tune. Excellent.

  Er... who? Was he the guy on Saturday Night Live?

Megumi remained asleep, as did Keiichi... though Keiichi should have
been up, by Belldandy's reckoning.

Why? He went through quite a bit as well.

  Ah, this is intentional. But I can't explain it without giving away more than I want to before the epilogue. :/

  Suffice to say that if you tripped over it, you are extremely perceptive.

   If he were awake, then she would be, too. And his sister would need
to remain yet asleep for his plan to work... So he slowed his awakening,
and used what subtle manipulations he could to effect

affect (I think)

  Nomenclature!

  But you may be right.

There was fire, and pain, and her very essence was _rent_ asunder,
cast to drift in the sea of chaos, and she could not wake...

Next time she would pass on the Ny-Quil to help her go to sleep.

  Well, a shot of pure chaos is probably not always the best thing for a given situation...

he mumbled for a

moment, then tossed a pile of clothing at her feet.

His own, or they would have been, had this been a lemon.

  ...

  Keiichi and his own _sister_?

Megumi stumbled her way into the temple's bathing area, unable to
repress a certain knowledge that something was... off. Different, in
some way.

   She couldn't place it, try as she wanted to.

That sounds a bit off. maybe a different word from 'wanted'

  Will reword.

the thought for the moment, turning her attention to the bizarre fire.

And then Sailor Mars appeared. So that was what was off. They had wandered
into Rei's temple from Sailor Moon. Now it all made sense.

  Only if it's a wild yuri orgy, and I'm pretty sure I don't write those...

  ... yet.

of day, and she remembered her fire alarm going of clearly.

off

  Whoops. :p

"Why? I shouldn't have been in danger from anything so stupid... why
did Keiichi have to rescue me?"

Hmm. Odd thought. Almost seems resentful.

  Yes. Yes it does.

Dim, blurred and smoke drowned

don't think 'blurred' is the right word to go there. Either that or
'smoke-drowned' perhaps?

  Will revise.

Her hair wasn't that long... With no small amount of trepidation she
crept over to the large mirror in the bathroom, and stared with wide
eyes. Her hair was long, easily past her waist now.

Megumi: Damn. Someone must have slipped me a Dragon's Whisker when I wasn't
looking.

But something simply felt... right... about it.

Never a good sign.

  Probably not.

Shivering, she dismissed it. Hair could be cut... and her life had
been odd enough. Some fluke of some sort, not something she should worry
about.

Heh. Her ability to blow this off is frightening by itself.

  Intentional. :)

Belldandy watched Keiichi lead his sister outside, and

not sure if you need that comma

  Will remove.

Urd frowned thoughtfully, noting, "Of course, now we have more
people to watch over, so this could be harder... at least the Yggdrasil

should the 'the' be there?

  Er... no.

She had even gotten all of the symbols right.    She hoped.

Heh.

  I couldn't resist a little bit of humor.

The spirit stirred, whisping into being near her warily. "What you
want? Senbei not happy.

Always nice to see Senbei and his happy dance. :)

  Sorry. :p

Senbei swallowed uneasily, muttering, "Senbei definitely not happy."

Guess we won't see the dance after all. :(

  Aww...

  Omake:

  Senbei sprang out of his bottle, prancing around the rim gaily. "Mara!" he exclaimed. "Is so happy to _see_ you!"

  Mara flinched back, worried. "Senbei?" she queried. "What's going on?"

  "Senbei been Touched by da MASTER!"

  Mara winced. The Lord of Terror had somehow returned... "Oh, no," she whispered.

  Before she could turn to run, the Lord of Terror's warning rang out -- singsong, as though the entire affair of him hunting down and systematically re-coding gods and demons were something any happy child could preform. "I love you, you love me..."

  And Senbei continued to dance happily.


  There you go!

Smiling to herself, she reentered the house, letting her happy
demeanor slip when she reached her sisters. Another problem was looming,
one that needed more attention. "So," she asked, forced cheer in her
voice. "What's the plan?"

Urd: Plan? Who needs plans? Let's wing it like we always do.

  Skuld: Sounds like a plan!

  Urd: Great! No, hey... wait a minute...

Skuld peered around Urd to look at the magazine, and stifled a
slight gasp.

Wonder why?

  Urd: HEY! You aren't old enough for that kind of magazine!

  Skuld: 1.5 Ghz processor... oh, sweet kami. Um, I, uh, have to gotomyroomnowbye!

  Urd: ... Ew.

Skuld nodded, an eager light in her eyes burning fit to match
Megumi's own. "Yes! If we get that, then we can find the Lady easily!"

   Megumi frowned. "The Lady? You mean the Lady of the Lake?"

Oh. That lady and OaFK. Duh. Should have seen that coming.

Hopefully will get to more before too long

  Hopefully. :p

  Thanks for the C&C!

D.B. Sommer