And continuing onward:

Nothing could keep him from exacting his righteous vengeance now.

                    ******************************

Ukyo felt an irrepressible sneeze suddenly assault her nose, a small
explosion of air erupting from her lungs that distracted her at a
critical moment.  There came the distinctive clang of flattened steel
impacting against the bones of her skull, knocking her to the ground.

Heh. One of the rare times a 'someone's talking about me sneeze' ends up
having a price. :)

A grinning Yumi was quick to admonish her niece.  "You've been acting
cocky all afternoon, thinking those other girls don't hold a candle to
your fighting skills.  But it's a mistake to underestimate an opponent
before facing them.

Yumi: Just look at the way Juri walked right over you. Of course that was a
case of mistaken identity, and she did have righteous anger on her side, but
she still beat you.

 If you truly think Ranma Saotome is a prize worth

fighting for, then I want you to show these other girls that they have
no chance against you.  You are a Kuonji Ninja, the heir to our clan's
teachings and techniques, and I will help you as best I can.

Yumi: It's time for the 'Special Kuonji School of Seduction' to begin today.
By the time I'm through with you, you'll have Ranma begging for your hand in
marriage with only the lightest of carresses.

Ukyou: If it's so great, why aren't you married?

Yumi: (smacks Ukyou in the head with a spatula) Stop asking stupid questions
and prepare for your first lesson. Repeat after me, "Why yes, honey, you
were the best I ever had, and your tool is the biggest I have ever seen.'
He'll be eating out of your hand after that one.

"I'm not going to lose my fianc� to any of those city-bred girls," Ukyo
stated defiantly.  "He's mine, and I've never lost a fight in my life
when it really counted.

Heh. Nice to see we throw in that qualifier.

  Ever.  I'll show those other girls that I'm

going to be the one that Ranchan is going to marry, and nobody better
stand in my way!"  To punctuate her point, Ukyo formed a tight fist
with her hand, causing the tendons to crack and pop menacingly

through the skin.

"Better get that checked out," Yumi said as she grabbed some bandages.

Yumi nodded.  She had come up during a brief break after the initial
dinner rush to see how her niece was doing.  The girl had been up here
training all day, practicing on her polearm techniques with the Kuonji
Clan's preferred weapon.

The javelin.

Admittedly, striking an opponent from behind in the midst of a sneeze
had been a sneaky thing to do, but Ukyo had to be prepared to deal with
any and all eventualities that could happen in a fight.  It was amusing
in a way that her niece was just like she had been at that age, full of
confidence that she could take on the world.  Yumi only hoped that Ukyo
found the happiness that she never had.

Sure, there had been plenty of sex, violence, and money, but no real
happiness. Just a lot of fun.

                    ******************************

"More tea, Tendo-san?"

Nabiki nodded in reply to Kenseiko's primly polite question from her
place at the dinner table, seated across from Tatewaki and next to a
simmering Kodachi.

Heh. Surpried Tachi didn't try to get her seated next to him.

Taking a brief break from eating the sumptuous meal

that had been set out before her, she observed one of the Kuno family
servants quickly hurrying to pour more tea for her.

already used 'her'. I'd say 'more tea in her cup.' or something.

Having been rather

I'd drop this 'rather'

unexpectedly invited along with Ranma to dine with the Kuno's had been
testing her diplomatic skills a bit, especially since she could not
manage to ignore

'since she was unable to ignore ' perhaps. Way you have it sounds awkward to
me.

 ignore the unmistakable vibes of hostility that she was

getting from both Kodachi and Lady Kuno, hidden beneath their polite
manners.  As to the lust-filled glances she was getting from Tatewaki,
even less needed to be said about how disturbed they made her feel.

Disturbingly exicted, that was.

getting from the young noblewoman, who had spent the entire meal gazing
at him just barely within the modicums of politeness.  Each one of her
smoldering glances kept causing him to make errors now and then in his
mental calculations and forcing him to start over.

Ranma's in his head: Damnit man, try harder to be as sexually unmotivated as
we are!

  At the same time,

he was also quickly consuming plate after plate of the delicious meal
set before him with polite gusto,

Is there such a thing as 'polite gusto'

attention, only to arrive at the wholly unwelcome sight of the middle
Tendo girl seated next to her, causing her fingers to whiten slightly
as their grip on her chopsticks tightened.

At least they didn't snap in her hands.

so captivated by the lowly knave now seated to his right?  What madness
filled these wonderful members of the fairer sex, that they would all
set their sights on such an ill-mannered peasant as Ranma Saotome?  It
was utterly inconceivable.

Appropriate, since he can't understand.

obvious that she had fallen in love with him.  And they made quite a
nice-looking couple together, which made the odd telephone call she had
received from Lady Karou even more puzzling.  The woman had somehow
become even more vacuous over the years, and she had gone on for some
time about inanities before finally coming to the point.  Even talking
with Nodoka had been less irritating,

Now that's saying something.

dealings among the nobility, she had found herself unable to simply say
no.  To do so would be to risk alienating an ally, and that she was not
prepared to do.

What was puzzling about the request was the indication that Kodachi and
Miki had already been spending time together, and Miki desired to spend
some more with her.

Kenseiko: Obviously my little Dachi is learning the art of seducing men and
twisting them around her finger. Good for her.

  It was all being done according to protocol, but

there had also been an undercurrent of threat to the matter.

Obviously Kozue wasn't invovled, or the threat would have gone the other way
in telling her to leave Miki alone. :)

 Since

Kodachi was not officially engaged yet, it would not be considered a
breach of decorum for her to attend a function with another young man,
so Kenseiko had eventually given her permission.  It was possible that
the Karou's were seeking to formalize their alliance with the Kuno's
through marriage, but the timing was inconvenient.

Although she might also think that it might light a fire under Ranma's
bottom if he thought someone else was putting the moves on Kodachi. Kenseiko
would probably realize that and might try probing him to see how he might
react to the matter. Likewise an errent thought about how well Miki and
Kodachi
got along as children might be worth throwing in.

with the way he treated Kodachi, and she knew he would make a fine
addition to the family as a future Kuno.  She could tell that he would
defend Kodachi if need be, and that was a great comfort to a mother who
loved her daughter like she did her precious Dachi-chan.  But it was
still astonishing how such a one as Ranma could have ever sprung from
the ill-mannered thug that Nodoka had always carried on like in her
youth, and most likely still was.

Heh. Cute. Love the acidity between them.

 But the boy carried a great deal of

her in his facial features and the structure of his frame.

Lord knows he doesn't look overmuch like Genma.

Kenseiko had been noticing the looks being exchanged by her daughter
and the Tendo girl, and she found it a pity that a daughter born of
grace and blue-blooded nobility should have to put up with interference
to her desires from such a one.

'one' seems a bit tame. Might want to add something appropriately derogatory
about Nabby from Kenseiko's thoughts.

have been capable.  She mused with a slight smile on the memories of
her three greatest nemeses in those past, gloriously misspent days of
their youth: Nodoka Himura, Achika Masaki, and Kimiko Nakakami.  How
she had despised Nodoka and Achika, and still did.  Only the soldier
cadet, Kimiko, had been an occasional ally at times, in innumerable
doomed plots seeking to finally crush Nodoka, schemes that always
seemed to unravel at the very brink of victory.

Typical for that sort of humor.

It was perhaps ironic that Kimiko's ghost was still frustrating her
plans from beyond the grave, in the personage of her daughters.  Her
old ally was having one last laugh at her expense, but Kenseiko would
turn the tables if she had any say in the matter.  Ranma would marry
her beloved Dachi-chan, completing her revenge against Nodoka by taking
the boy's names from the Saotome register when he became a Kuno.

Heh. Good luck. Although would Nodoka really feel that strongly about it
since she alrady changed her name and Kensaiko changed hers. It would be a
moral victory, but not much of one.

 And

as for Nabiki Tendo, she would be wise to leave Ranma to Kodachi.

Which means she'll stay involved with him up to her neck. :)

Kenseiko studied Ranma speculatively between bites of her meal, her
thoughts on her daughter's recent request.  The Kuno's maintained a
fairly sizable pineapple plantation in the Prefecture

should 'Prefecture' be capitalized there?

 of Hawaii, and

Kodachi had asked if she could take Ranma there on a vacation during
the upcoming class break in a month or so.  A romantic getaway in an
island paradise would give her daughter time to cement her hold on the
Saotome boy, likely by Kodachi seducing him into her bed.  It was a
bold scheme, and she was secretly proud of Kodachi for having come up
with it.

Hehehehe. We'll see how that goes.

Ranma came near to swallowing his chopsticks when Kenseiko suddenly
burst out into a loud gale of evil, feminine laughter.  He glanced at
Kodachi, thinking it was her at first, but she was eating her food as
if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  A glance at Tatewaki and
Lord Kuno showed the same calmness.

Evidently this happens frequently.

Lord Kuno looked down the table and smiled at his wife affectionately.
It was always nice to hear Kenseiko laugh like that, and it usually
meant she was plotting something fun.

One person's fun is another person's pain in the butt. :)

                    ******************************

A staccato pattern of heavy thudding sounds resounded from one of the
exercise rooms in Furinkan's gymnasium.  The sound occasionally sped up
in its rhythm and then slowed back down, but it never stopped.  And on
the lower edge of audibility was a single muttered word, like a mantra.

Shampoo.

Something Mina, Pink, Perfume, and Sakura now have in common: someone they
want to destroy. And Shamp's still hasn't met Ranma and pissed off his girls
yet. :)

on the bus with Akane.  She had only half-listened to Akane's happy
babbling about how much fun it had been to visit the Arena during the
long trip back, contributing the occasional grunt for her part of the
conversation.

Yeah. I'm surpsied Sakura maintained her composure considering Ryu will now
be trapped in the Arena for sometime.

"Shampoo."  Picturing it as the other girl's face, Sakura drove her
fists hard into the punching bag with all of her strength, again and
again, trying in vain to distract herself from the ache filling her
heart.  Her hands, toughened over the years from her training, were
starting to go numb from her efforts, but Sakura didn't care.

but she didn't care.

Her beloved Ryu-senpai would be fighting in the Arena for the next six
months, unless he had been crippled during his fight with that Chinese
bimbo.

Nah. She didn't beat on him that bad. She's learned how much it takes to
knock them out and how much to break them in her time there.

 Nobody would tell her anything when she had left Akane to try

and find out how he was, and she had been tempted to start breaking
heads until someone did.  And it was all that damned Amazon's fault!

Well, she's right about that.

If she hadn't run across that nice doctor who had been treating her
Ryu-senpai, she was not sure what she might have done.  He had calmed
her down enough to allow her to reclaim her focus enough to continue

two 'enough's. Change second to 'focus and continue'

continue

calming on her own, or she might have gotten herself into some real
trouble.  Unlike Akane, she did not have any family to pull strings if
she had given into her impulses and started trouble.

End two sentences in a row with 'trouble'. I'd change one of them

"Shampoo," Sakura growled, low in her throat like an animal.  Her feet
slammed into the bag, rocking it back and forth on its chain as she
spun back and forth to add power.  She would start by smashing into
pulp Shampoo's pretty features, so that no man would ever desire her
again.  She would break every one of the Amazon's limbs into so many
places that she would never be able to fight again.  When Sakura was
through, that damned Shampoo would be lucky if she could still eat
through a tube.

Shampoo: Gee, that sound vaguely familiar. Perhaps Sakura is channeling Link
spirit.

Ryu Kumon's return to consciousness was a slow process, and he

I'd make this into two sentences. 'process. He'

 blinked

his eyes open to behold a plain ceiling overhead, in a room dimly lit
by light leaking under a door.

He can make the details of the ceiling out with only light from under the
door coming through?

fuzzy and disjointed, like his brain was wrapped in cotton batting or
something.  His face also felt oddly numb, and his nose appeared to be
plugged up, as he quickly discovered when he made an attempt to take a
shallow breath.  Feeling a throbbing pain in his ribs, experience told
him that a deeper one would be a definite mistake.

Had his chest kicked in before, I see. :)

 Various areas of

his body were bandaged, an intravenous tube was hooked to one of his
arms, and he was attached to a monitoring device by several wires.  It
gave off a gentle beeping sound in time with his heart rate.

My. Shampoo worked him over all right.

The memory of his fight with Shampoo suddenly blossomed in his brain,
and he hung his head in angry dismay, almost gnashing his teeth.  He
had failed!

Resoundingly so.

left of his family legacy, and he had now dishonored it by his absolute
failure to defeat the Amazon, a loss that had been seen by countless
millions of people across the globe.  He could almost feel his father's
spirit staring at him disapprovingly from the shadows, adding to his
tremendous feelings of grief.

Actually his father's spirit was haunting a high school girls locker room in
Hokkaido. The man had been something of a lech, and being a disembodied
spirit, the opportunity seemed to good to pass up.

Why had he failed?  Why had he weakened in his resolve?

Heh. Nice to see the idea that she was simply better than him isn't
conceivable.

The answer was

galling to him when it came.  Having finally come face to face with the
famed Amazon, after studying numerous tapes of her fights for weeks in
search of the slightest flaws to exploit, he had discovered in himself
an unexpectedly strong desire for her, and his carefully cultivated
focus had been lost.

Oh? I thought he was hot and horny for her before the match. Could have
sworn that was why Sakura originally didn't like Shamp's

 All of his many sparring matches against Sakura

Kasugano, in order to inure himself against any sort of hesitations
when fighting against a girl, had apparently been for nothing.  He had
felt similar pangs of desire for Sakura, but not quite as strongly as
those he had felt for Shampoo on the floor of the Arena.

Curious.

  Simple lust

for the barbarian girl had cost him his victory, as well as his chance
to glorify his family's name, and he found himself hating Shampoo for
that, with a level of passion that he had never before felt for any
opponent.

Shampoo: Great now Shampoo have new name to add to 'People that want to Kill
Shampoo' list. Is bigger than Ranma's by now.

"Shampoo," whispered Ryu into the quiet darkness of his room, his voice
dripping with barely-suppressed rage.  "I will see you defeated for
what you have done to me,

Well, he might end up being right in the first part, but definitely not for
the second.

as utterly humbled as you have left me, and

then, when I have attained that revenge, the barbaric customs of your
own tribe will make you my bride."  He laughed softly at that pleasant
thought, salving his wounded ego with thoughts

two 'thought's close together. Second could be 'fantasies'

Ryu lapsed once more into silence, his mood darkening even further for
several moments.  Then a wolfish smile crossed his face.  The challenge
of defeating a strong opponent was all that he had ever lived for, an
attitude that his father had gone to great lengths to beat into him

Oh, I have a feeling he'll have plenty of people like that around to play
with.

over their many years of wandering the Empire together, while his sire
trained him to be the greatest martial artist that the world had ever
known.  And he would show everyone that he was the best, or all of that
pain and effort would have been for nothing.  So if the Amazon desired
a man to conquer her,

Shampoo: No, actually Shampoo would rather never lose, win tournament, and
just sleep with whoever she like.

"I'm pleased to see that you're already awake, Kumon-san," said the man
cheerfully as he walked closer, setting aside a clipboard.  "I'm Doctor
Tofu Ono.

The only physician that will be appearing in this fic. (He does get around)
^_^

"I'm all right, Ono-sensei?" Ryu asked, curious.

Tofu smiled again.  "Well, I wouldn't say you're all right.  When they
brought you in, you had a moderate concussion and some deep contusion
damage, not to mention quite a few bruised and cracked ribs.

And testicular cancer. The balls have to come off, I'm afraid.

"  Tofu

paused for a moment, and then he pressed several points on Ryu's torso
in rapid succession.  He then began removing the IV drip and cardiac
sensors.  "However, your concussion's already faded after only a couple
of hours of rest, which is quite good, and I've done what I can to
relieve your pain and speed healing of your other wounds.  But you're
still going to be injured for some time yet."  Tofu suddenly paused a
moment

You had 'Tofu paused for a moment' earlier in the paragraph. I'd get rid of
this one.

"I guess the Amazon proved to be a bit too much for you, eh, new meat?"
suddenly

You're using a few too many 'suddenly's in this. I'd really use different
adverbs, or just cut a lot of them. This one I would cut and just start with
'said' for instance.

said a coolly sardonic voice from the doorway.  Both Ryu and

Tofu glanced over to see an athletically-built youth with pretty-boy
handsome features casually standing there in the opening, leaning one
shoulder against the door frame as he stood posed with arms folded and
hip half-cocked.  He was dressed well, in black silken pants and shoes,
and a silver leather vest of costly material.

And only a vest, flashing his abs for any girl to see "Brad Pitt ain't got
nothing on me' he said with a smile.

"I'm sort of the welcome wagon around here, new meat," casually sneered
the stranger.  "The name's Tarou, and it's a name you'd be well-advised
to remember from now on with respect.  After all, in just a few months
I'm going to be the crowned champion at the upcoming annual tournament,
so consider yourself pretty lucky to be meeting me, especially outside
of an Arena match.

"I wouldn't have gone easy on you, like Shampoo did."

Tarou disdainfully puffed out a brief burst of air after Tofu had gone
past him.  He glared intently at the doctor's departing form, incensed
that anyone would ever try and ignore him.

And incensed that so many did.

But he quickly calmed

himself by casually slipping a hand inside one of his pants pockets,
his fingers fondling the sheer silk of one of his latest acquisitions.
The touch of pantyhose was his secret pleasure, but it was one that no
one could ever discover or reveal.

Heh. Was going to ask you if he would have a pantyhose fetish here since his
name isn't Pantyhose.

After all, he was known in the

Arena rolls as Ikasu Tarou (Cool Guy Tarou).

Thought most people called him 'Slime Guy' Tarou, though never to his face.

 He had carefully chosen

that name for himself when he had first started out in the dog pits,
where every Arena legend had begun.  It reflected a certain image he
wished to present to the world,

That he was a cool guy. 'Loser' Tarou just didn't have the same ring to it.

When Ryu did not join Tarou quickly enough for his tastes, the Chinese
boy smiled coldly and went into the room.  Ryu glanced up just as Tarou
came near, and he was surprised when the other boy suddenly grasped him
by the front of his shirt and hauled him to his feet.  His ribs flared
with pain at the sudden movement.

Lucky he didn't just give him a rabbit punch in the ribs or something.

"When I tell someone to move, new meat," said Tarou in a conversational
tone of voice, "I expect them to be quicker."  Seeing the defiant look
in Ryu's eyes, Tarou smiled even more.  "I'd teach you proper respect
for your betters, Citizen Boy, but the Director's waiting for you.  So
get going!"

Tarou: I'll kick the !#$ out of you later.

When they arrived at the outer office of the Arena Director, Tarou had
Ryu sit in a chair by the simple expedience of shoving him down into
it.

Tarou: And mind you, I'm treating you nice. Just wait and see what I do when
you tick me off.

 He went over to the secretary, an attractive woman with red hair

pulled back into a ponytail, dressed in a conservative business suit.
The name on the desk plaque read "Mai Shiranui."

Sounds familiar. What's she from?

"Go right in, Tarou-san."  She nodded primly at the set of double doors
leading into the inner office.  "You know how the Director hates to be
kept waiting."  She then turned her head back to her work with a sniff,
pointedly ignoring the Chinese boy.

Tarou: I'm starting to get the impression people don't like me around here.

Grinning, Tarou stood up straight and glanced at Ryu.  "Follow me," he
commanded.  He glanced back at Mai briefly.  "When I'm done in there,
how about you and I going out for some tea, gorgeous?"

"I don't think so, Tarou-san," replied Mai coolly, as if it was a line
she had delivered often enough to have grown tired of it.  Noting Ryu's
regard of her,

Ryu staring lecherously too?

she added, "You know I don't date younger men."

Or violent jerks with pantyhose fetishes.

"Your loss, sweetie."  Tarou grabbed Ryu by the back of his collar to
hurry him along and opened the door to the Arena Director's office.
"She wants me," he whispered so that only Ryu heard.  "It's only a
matter of time until I break down her resistance."

Yeah. It'll probably get her about the time he grabs her and ties her down
to the bed, then her resistance might be gone. :P

Stepping into the Arena Director's office, the first thing that caught
Ryu's attention was the decor.

A giant ant farm filled one entire side of the room.

shoulder, lithely muscular, and well-endowed.  They each wore their
long manes of hair pulled back into a single thick braid that ran down
almost to the small of their back.  The single distinctive feature
between them, aside from their catlike ears, were their catlike eyes.
Both of them had mismatched eye colors, one eye blue and the other
green, but one had a blue left eye and the other had a green left eye.

Hmm. Wonder if that's particuarly common.

Dressed in short-sleeved dark-green uniforms similar to those worn by
the Imperial Arena's security forces, they stood with arms folded
beneath their breasts, solemn expressions on their faces.  From where
he was standing, he could just barely make out the names stenciled into
patches on the right-front breasts of their uniforms, "Ana" and "Uni."

Heh. Neat cameo.

"Come in, Kumon-san," said the man with gruff affability.  "I'm sure
that you've guessed who I am by now.  I am Kakedo Sasaki, the Director
of this facility.  Please, come in and have a seat.  You and I have a
few items to discuss regarding your fulfillment of the specified terms
of your contract.  Tarou, you're dismissed."

Well, at least he didn't ignore Tarou. Wonder if Sasaki specifically sent
Tarou so he could treat Ryu so roughly.

At a nod from the Director, both Ana and Uni broke ranks and strolled
over to the door, one Puma less than gently shoving a surprised Tarou
back out the door before closing it in his face,

My. A bit abrupt.

and the other grabbing

Ryu up by the back of his collar and almost frog-marching him towards
the chair in front of the desk.  She then shoved him down into the
seat.

Heh. And here I thought Tarou had treated him shoddily. Now that with Ryu's
current dark thoughts I feel all that sympathy for him.

 >

hear the sounds of a raucous party drifting across the hall, and he was
a little tempted to join in the festivities.  After his interview with
Furinkan's new headmaster,

The one that could freeze the blood in a man's veins just by staring.

Besides, if he did well, it would likely mean a promotion.  A higher
rank would bring with it the opportunity to move into a much larger
apartment by means of a greater subsidy allowance, and it would finally
enable him to satisfy his parents' urgings for him to settle down with
a good woman.

As opposed to the bad ones he had in his relationship.

  As things stood now, Yusaku had very little to offer a

woman, other than an embarrassingly small apartment in a dumpy little
rooming house, with a shared bath down the hall.

Heh. And some things remain the same.

Slumping up against the inside of the door, Yusaku smiled in a rather
self-deprecating fashion.  Maybe he really was only a tin soldier, but
he was also a man of dreams and ambitions.  Someday, he would realize
them.

Right around when Hell froze over.

As he began walking deeper into the light gloom of his apartment, he
turned on the lights with an absent flick of his finger against the
wall switch.  He pulled off his jacket and carefully hung it up in his
closet, briefly recalling the proud look in his father's eyes when a
not much younger Yusaku Godai had first returned home, dressed in the
uniform of an Imperial officer.

Father: In that thing, most people won't think you're a loser on sight.
They'll only think it when they get to know you.

"Congratulations, Godai-san," said the anonymous female voice.  "You
have been selected to receive a wondrous gift, and I am authorized to
bestow it upon you at your earliest convenience, should you choose to
accept it.  You can be assured that there is no obligation involved,
and I will be available at any hour of the day to deliver your gift in
person."  The voice went on to recite a fourteen-digit telephone code
that he could use to reply to this message, before wishing him a good
evening and hanging up.

Heh. I think I know what this is. Very interesting way of getting your wish.
:)

Shrugging his shoulders, figuring he had nothing to lose, Godai played
the message back a second time and quickly scribbled down the telephone
code.  He idly wondered who the voice represented, not to mention why
they were going to give him a gift, but maybe it was a sign that his
luck was about to change.

Oh, I'd say that's a given. It's just a question of if it's changing for
better or for worse.

He was still staring at the telephone in his hand when he suddenly
noticed a faint glimmering coming from the mirror on his closet door.

Godai: Odd, I didn't think it was magical. The only time I thought it talked
to me was the one time I did the brown acid.

her tresses were held in place by a scarf.  She poked her head clear of
the surface of the mirror and smiled innocently at him.

Bell has no other kind of smile. :)

                    ******************************
"And the fates of both Heaven and Earth shall become intertwined," she
whispered, ever so softly.

Godai: Intertwined? Yahoo! I'm going to score for once in my life.

Yusaku stared for several moments at the unexpected vision that had so
suddenly appeared in his room, but then his training took over.

He curled into a fetal ball and shouted, "Don't hurt me! I give up!"

 His

hand dropped to close on the butt of his sidearm, still holstered at
his waist, even as he felt an odd reluctance to draw it.  He gazed in
awed rapture at the sight laid before his eyes, before

two 'before's close together. Could probably drop the second.

 slowly removing

his hand from the weapon.  A sensation of peace filled his soul as he
beheld the beautiful girl finally emerge fully from the glass to hover
in mid-air before him, her feet suspended several centimeters above the
floor.

Godai failed to notice the wires dangling upward from her limbs, which was
why she was suspended off the floor. It turned out it really wasn't an
Angel, but a giant marrionette Yotsua, Akemi, and the others had whipped up
to play with Godai's mind. And it had worked like a charm since he fell for
it, and was about to make a 'wish'.

The vision before him smiled gently, bowed her head slightly, and she
replied, "Good evening, Godai-san.  My name is Belldandy, and I am a
goddess.  You have been chosen from among all other mortals to receive
a great gift, a wish for anything that your heart might desire."

Godai: I can't dance, so therefore I wish to have rhythm.

Yusaku's brain came close to stalling out for several moments as it
attempted to process that particular input.  A wish?  For anything he
desired?  Anything at all?  Instantly, visions of fame, power, and
wealth, not to mention crowds of adoring women, washed across his mind
for a brief moment.

Fool. Should have kept ahold of them. Now you'll wish for something stupid,
like true love.

The entire world had just been offered to him, and

his imagination savored the possibilities.  But then he quickly shook
his head.  This could not be real.  He was just an ordinary man living
an ordinary life in an ordinary world, and such things as goddesses
appearing and offering wishes did not happen to men like himself.

She was probably a foreign agent sent by some sinsiter power to bend him to
her will. Obviously time to call the Mobius Institute and get her put under
lock and key.

"You're wrong, Godai-san," reproved Belldandy gently, still smiling her
sweet smile.  "Any of your desires could be met.  You have been offered
this gift as a reward for having a good heart and a kind nature.  All
you have to do is wish for it, and whatever you desire shall be yours."

Godai: I want you to be my sex slave.

Belldandy: Too late. Twoflowers already wrote that story, though with
Keichii. Try an original wish.

"A-are you reading my mind?" Yusaku stammered out.  A thought suddenly
occurred to him.

Then he realized she could read it, so he then stopped thinking altogether.

"He looks so cute, just sitting there and drooling,' Belldandy remarked.

Perhaps the woman was an agent sent from the Mobius

Institute for some obscure purpose.

 Heh. yep. A logical conclusion.

  That could explain her abilities.

Perhaps this _was_ some sort of Security Directorate test.  He saw a
look of mild consternation lightly brush across Belldandy's beautiful
features, and he smiled suddenly.  He was certain he knew just how to
turn this situation around and show this woman from the Institute just
what he was made of.

And thereby having the meaningful results from this act based on a stupid
assumption on his part.

Yusaku pointed at Belldandy and said with a smile, "I know what I want
for my wish.  I wish that a beautiful girl like you would fall in love
with me and stay with me forever."  He lowered his pointing finger and
waited for the strange woman's act to end.

Belldandy slapped him. "I am not some trollop that's going to have sex with
some complete stranger just because he wished for it. Call CanCan Bunny or
one of those other hentei wish granters if that's what you want!"

After looking quite startled for a moment, Belldandy's smile returned,
but now with an added element of shyness added into it.  The marks on
her face flared brightly, and an aura of divine power suddenly surged
up around her.

Godai said, "Oh my gosh. It's real. I change my mind. Give me billions of
yen and a small island of my own, like Austrailia."

  Yusaku quickly averted his gaze from the intense burst

of brilliance, trying to shield his face from the light with upraised
hands.  What was happening now?

Might want to throw something in about him wondering if he had passed the
'test'.

Within the Mobius Institute, a young woman with pale hair, barely more
than a girl really, blinked her eyes open suddenly

More suddenly's. I'd drop this one too.

The sorceress known as Frost would know what it was, and if it was a
threat to the Empire she had sworn upon her honor to serve.

Interesting addition to the cast.

                    ******************************

Ayaka Kisaragi blinked in pain at the sudden headache exploding behind
her eyes, abruptly halting her drifting off into sleep.  She cursed out
loud from the pain, immediately regretting having spent another weekend
of drinking and partying with her three best friends in the world: Yui
Ikari, Natsumi Tsujimoto, and Miyuki Kobayakawa.

The group affectionately known as 'Sluts Incorperated' throughout the
Empire.

As the pain in her head gradually receded, she sensed that the brief
surge in the local ambient ethereal energies was already beginning to
fade away.  Ayaka lurched out of her bed to her feet, weaving only
slightly, her body clothed in one of her favorite silken nightgowns.

One with only a handful of stains on it.

Something major had just happened, and it was nearby.  She stumbled
over to her window

and fell out, dying when she hit her head. Thus ended Ayaka's place in this
fic.

just as her cellular telephone rang shrilly.

Grabbing and ripping out her eardrum in the process, since that was what all
phones did when one had a bad hangover.

Ayaka replied, "Yes, sir."  She heard an acknowledging grunt from the
other end of the phone and then it was abruptly hung up.  She clicked
off the cellphone with her thumb, her attentions still probing outwards
into the surrounding night.  She would discover the source of that odd
energy and determine if it was malevolent or not.  If it was, then she
would destroy it.  It was part of her job, after all.

Along with sleepin with the Director. That seemed to be part of the job for
all of the attractive female members and some of the younger boys, though.

Going over to her nightstand, Ayaka opened the drawer and pulled out
several items: a small bottle of pills, a gun, and a metal cylinder.

Filled to the brim with 150 proof liquor. Couldn't go out on a job the least
bit sober, after all.

She gingerly popped open the bottle and quickly shook out a couple of
pills from within.  She dry-swallowed them and braced herself.  As the
chemical concoction abruptly hit her system, she snapped fully upright,
feeling her body burning off the toxins remaining within her.  The
experience quickly passed, leaving her mind clear and her body ready
for action.  Combat drugs were a wonderful invention, but she knew in
the back of her mind that she was going to regret this later.  Still,
for an hour or so, she would be at the top of her abilities.

As long as there are drawback to this quick cure.

Ayaka continued her preparations, feeling her stomach burble once or
twice in complaint, but she ignored it.  The pistol she picked up was a
short-barreled 9mm automatic in blued steel, standard Institute-issue
for an undercover operative like herself.  However, the cylinder was a
family heirloom, the Red Dragon Spirit Capture Star Sword.

Which only looked like a tube of lipstick.

 After

quickly ejecting the magazine currently in the gun, she reached into
the drawer and pulled out a different one.  The bullets contained in
this magazine were special-issue ammunition made by the Institute, the
tips composed of a unique alloy of silver and orichalcum.  Very faint
runic traceries added to their lethality to supernatural beings.  Each
round was very expensive to create and was only meant to be used in
emergencies.  However, the current situation seemed to warrant it.

Since she doens't really know the current situation, might want to rephrase
it as 'given the lack of information, it seemed a wise precaution' or
somesuch.

Ayaka slapped the magazine into her pistol and worked the slide, easily
chambering a round.  Flicking the safety on with her thumb, she set it
down on her bed with the sword pommel and went over to her closet to
find something appropriate to wear.

Something that showed a lot of skin, save her thighs, which were fat.

                    ******************************

Ghost Sweeper Minami blinked and gasped suddenly, her attention yanked
from the textbook spread open in front of her.  Something big had just
happened nearby, and that spelled an opportunity in her eyes.  Other
than Kisaragi-sensei, she was the only Ghost Sweeper (albeit still a
trainee) in the local area.

That she's aware of, unless she can sense them all. Obviously they engage in
some undercover work from time to time.

 So it was her duty to investigate whatever

had caused such a disturbance, and she hoped that it was something a
little bit challenging.

Since you use 'bit' in the opening sentence of the next paragraph, I'd
reword this as 'something challenging'

"Uh, hello?  Mano residence," came the distracted-sounding voice of
Yohko Mano.

"Yohko, this is Minami.  Get dressed and bring your stuff.  I'll be
waiting at the corner near your house.  We've got a case."

Heh. And all the Dogs converge on the same spot.

"Your wish has been accepted by Yggdrasil, Godai-san," said Belldandy
pleasantly.  "I knew you would make a good wish."

Godai: you mean I can have hot sex with you?

Bell: Only after we've spent several months in an awkward relationship
before it blossoms to one of true love.

Godai: So, I have to wait several months before hot sex?

Bell: Yes.

Godai: (wailing) I am such a loser.

Belldandy smiled her shy smile

'smile's too close together. 'unleashed' for the first doesn't feel right,
but nothing's coming to mind right now.

"I think that might be for me," said Belldandy thoughtfully.  She went
over to the telephone and picked it up.  "Hello?"

The voice on the other end said, "You've just been granted a wish,
Belldandy. A wish to leave that loser. Take it before it's too late."

"Skuld, is that you?" Belldandy asked.

"That was Kami-sama," replied Belldandy in a matter of fact tone.  "He
had some instructions for me, so that I might best fulfill your wish
and also take care of another task he wishes for me to do while I am
here on Earth."

Heh. Killing two birds with one stone.

Ayaka paused on a street corner and looked around.  The night air was
cool against her skin, typical for spring weather, and she was grateful
that she had dressed more warmly than was her usual wont.  She belted
her trenchcoat shut for a little more warmth and grunted.  While a low-
cut evening dress was her preferred outfit when the weather was warmer,

To fight in? My, she is quite the fashion bitch. :)

she was glad she had opted for practicality over style in her present
situation.  That was also why she was presently

two 'present's near each other. Drop this one.

wearing a light suit of

body armor under her coat, just in case.  Not only was it quite
comfortably warm on such a cool night, but Ayaka would be the first to
admit that she struck an attractive figure in it.

Since it hid hips that looked like she could give birth to cow.

The source of the etheric disturbance had been nearby, of that much she
was certain.  However, the trail she had been following, the dwindling
echoes of the initial immense pulse of energy, had finally faded away
almost completely.

'away to almost nothing' sounds better to me.

She had gotten here as quickly as she could, but
still

was still

 too late.  Her quarry was proving to be more elusive than she had

been expecting.  Still, if she was lucky, perhaps it would give itself
away again.

It was at that moment that

think you can drop this 'that'

something else suddenly

another suddenly. I'd drop it.

Frost alighted softly on a rooftop as she paused to cast her senses
about.  The white silken robes she wore billowed slightly in the faint
breeze, giving her a ghostly appearance.  The glowing staff she held in
one dainty fist

Heh. Don't hear 'dainty fist' too often. It's all right. Just unusual.

 > The normally bland expression she wore on her face took on the faintest

note of perturbance as she looked back and forth without sensing her
target.  Her powers were not as well refined in such things as sensing
as she was in her mastery of other magics, but she would begin working
harder to overcome that flaw at her earliest opportunity.  Luckily, she
had the resources of the Institute to draw upon for improvement, adding
to her already impressive capabilities as a sorceress.  With perhaps
one or two exceptions, she was far superior to anyone else near her age
when it came to the mystic arts.

And would soon become 'Sorceress Supreme' and take over the world.

Minami gazed in mild surprise at the unexpected figure walking up with
a battle-ready Yohko and blinked.  "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Kasuga-kun was at my house when you called," quickly declared
Yohko in explanation,

Yohko quickly declared in explanation (sounds better)

And I wonder what he was doing with, or should I say, to, her? :)

"Yes, that's right.  I was studying with Mano-san.  She and I have a
big test tomorrow."  However, the fact that he and Yohko had not been
studying right at the moment Minami called went unspoken.  It had just
been a brief break from the books, but one innocent kiss had quickly
led to much more passionate ones.  If duty had not called in the form
of Minami, who knew what might have happened between himself and Yohko?

They might have made the 110th generation of Devil Hunter. :)

Madoka Ayukawa, even while he was kissing with her.

Ohh. Yohko finds out about that, it's over for him for good.

Yohko would have

surely decked him, or worse, cried, had she known where his thoughts
had been.  But it was almost as if the street-tough Madoka had cast a
spell over his feelings of late.

 Obviously he shall have them both.

Yohko yawned in boredom, even as her longer legs easily kept pace with
Minami's stride, regretting having been interrupted from her quality
time with her boyfriend.  She eyed the redheaded Ghost Sweeper and
wondered how much longer this was going to take.

Oh, I think their night's going to be nicely toasted after this. :)

"Well, it's about time," grumbled Yohko.  The sooner this was taken
care of, the sooner she and Kyosuke could get back to more important
matters, like some serious snuggling time.  A girl her age had certain
needs,

like shopping, spending her boyfriend's money, etc.

The Ghost Sweeper paused and said dramatically, "A powerful presence
disturbs the ether."  As she looked around, she was surprised to see
Kisaragi-sensei going into one of the buildings, the very same one that
she could sense spiritual emanations coming from!  Seeing her, Minami
abruptly cursed in her thoughts in an un-ladylike fashion.  "Quick!
This way!"  She grabbed Yohko by the arm and took off running as fast
as she could, almost dragging the taller Devil Hunter.  Kyosuke kept up
as best he could.

It's going to be a real shoot out now.

                    ******************************

Frost happened to glance down and spotted Minami and her little posse

Heh. Very little, since she only has a posse of two.

as they made their way down the street towards one specific building.
She cocked her head slightly to one side as she considered her options
with this new development.  Minami was well-known in the Institute as a
glory-hound and something of a hothead, her personality far from having
the emotional reserve that a true mistress of spellcasting should have,
like Frost herself had in abundance.

True. They are rather the opposite extremes.

                    ******************************

Yusaku lazily blinked his eyes open, feeling a very pleasant warmth
suffusing his body.  He glanced upwards and realized that his head had
been resting in Belldandy's lap,

and that her skirt was hiked up and she wasn't wearing panties. It was a
dream come true.

Of course he then woke up for real.

 a soft glow emanating from her hand.

At that moment, she looked so kind and maternal that he could not bring
himself to move from this position.  It was a perfect moment.

No doubt about to be lost forever in cries of pain and blasts of energy.

This was a _goddess_ before her, and Ayaka was not sure how to act now.

drop 'now.'

Not too far away from the apartment building, in a quiet section of a
nearby park, a glowing sphere of energy swelled up and then just as
quickly dissipated, revealing Mara, Demoness First Class.  She took a
deep breath of the crisp air, doing impressive things for her figure,
if anyone else had been around to notice.  An evil smile lit her face.

Does she have any other kind of smile.

"First order of business is to destroy Belldandy before she can get
settled," Mara commented out loud to herself.  Her body rose into the
air as she took a brief sniff of the air, sensing the faintly lingering
traces of a recent etheric energy discharge.  Her skills at tracking
prey had always been among the best of her kind, comparable to those of
a shark sensing blood.

Makes sense. Nice comparison.

"Uh, can I get up?" Yusaku asked the strange redhead, wondering if this
utterly bizarre evening was going to end with him getting shot in his
own apartment.

It's a possibility. I can see him taking a bullet for Bell.

Ayaka glanced at Yusaku, suddenly feeling even more uncertain about her
present circumstances.  She was in a strange man's apartment, holding a
gun pointed at a goddess.

Which was perfectly normal for her. What was strange was that she didn't
have a drink with her at the time.

being forewarned as to her approaching doom.  Now, it was all going to
be so easy.  With a laugh, she quickly began forming a ball of energy
between her hands, feeling the power surging in strength within it as
she fed all of her rage and hatred into it.

Hmm. She didn't bother too take a closer look at the human with the gun.
That's going to cost her.

"Damn!" cried Minami suddenly, sensing the power building up outside.

Fortunately, prepared for combat as she had been, Ayaka's own senses
gave her a moment's worth of warning that there was any danger,

I'd drop 'any'. Uneccessary.

"Red Dragon Spirit Capture Star Sword!" shouted Ayaka, the blade of the
weapon immediately igniting in response.  She desperately wove it in a
pattern that erected a defensive rune in midair, praying it would be
powerful enough to deal with what she sensed was coming.

But it won't be.

Belldandy had been caught by surprise by Mara's merciless assault, and
she could see the grinning demoness hovering in the air outside when
the smoke quickly began to clear.  She cast a brief glance at Yusaku,
grateful to see that he was only stunned.  She also noted that both of
his arms were half-wrapped around the strange redhead.  Could this
woman be the one to fulfill his wish?

Hmm. I had assumed it would be Bell again, as in OMG! Wonder if she's off or
not.

But now was not the time to

dwell upon such things.

No. It isn't.

senses.  Things were becoming more serious, and the region could be
severely damaged if the situation was not contained quickly.  Minami
was in way over her head, along with the Director's grandson and the
Devil Hunter, so it looked like it was up to her to rescue the Ghost
Sweeper trainee from her own arrogance.

Why do I think Miss High and Mighty is going to get taken down a few pegs
here?

During the momentary lull, Yohko and Kyosuke entered the room, standing
almost shoulder to shoulder.  Behind them, readying one of the wands
from her kit was Minami.  All three had serious looks on their faces.

Heh. Good luck. Power level seems a bit much for them to handle.

Yohko stepped forward and brandished her soulsword dramatically.  "I
hold no enmity against those coerced into evil.  But to those vile
beings who toy with the hearts and souls of men, since the time of the
Ancient Gods, we have been your destroyers!  Now, the 109th Devil
Hunter, Yohko, is here... Beware!"

"Oh, how cute," taunted Mara.  "One of you human vermin still wishes to
play.

Hmm. One would think Mara's heard of the Devil Hunters and would be at least
wary.

                    ******************************

Frost hovered outside, a spell of invisibility concealing her presence
from both sides of the combat.  There was a second entity inside the
building, apparently defending itself against the one hovering outside.
She studied the situation, coolly analyzing her options.

Running for it seemed the best.

"You ignore me at your peril, hellspawn!" shouted Minami, unleashing a
blast of lightning from the wand she was carrying.  Mara danced lightly
to one side in mid-air with a gleeful laugh, deflecting the lightning
with one outstretched hand.  The Ghost Sweeper winced as her attack
spell lanced downwards and blew up a second parked car.

Heh. The MI is going to be shelling out some cash.

 > it flared to life in her hands once again.  She stepped back into the

battle just as Yohko missed a parry with her soulsword, and a blast of
lightning knocked the Devil Hunter out of the fight.

Mara is in a kick-ass mood, I see.

"Yohko!" cried Kyosuke.  He ran forward to pick up the girl tenderly,
noting her injuries.  Luckily, her Devil Hunter form seemed to add to
her natural resiliency, and she did not appear seriously harmed, only
knocked unconscious.  Sensing sudden danger, he redoubled the strength
of his shield, a mere moment before another of Mara's blasts would have
rendered the couple into ashes.

Very kick ass. :)

Frost had finished her analysis of the situation, and things did not
look promising if she did not enter into the combat.  She began a spell
that would weaken the entity's defensive barrier before she launched
into her own repertoire of attack spells.

 Attack from behind. Good thinking.

Mara was rapidly growing tired of these irritating humans with magic
swords.  It was looking like it was time to get up close and personal
in this battle, if she was going to be able to finish it anytime soon.
She knew she could not afford to waste any more time and risk Belldandy
coming awake again

Belldandy awakening (would be fine)

Expecting a fresh round of fire from their enemy, Ayaka was surprised
to see the demoness suddenly disappear from where she had been hovering
outside, only to blink back into reality less than a meter from where
the tall redhead was standing.  A lightning-fast swipe of Mara's hand
removed Ayaka's weapon from her grip, and the Ghost Sweeper watched it
spinning away with dismay.

Oops.

At that moment, there was the distinctive sound of a pistol chambering
a round.  Mara looked over at Yusaku with evident bemusement.

Wonder if it's Ayeka's gun.

"You're not hurting anyone!" cried Yusaku.  He quickly drew a bead on
the center of Mara's body, aiming right at her chest.

Angered by Mara's taunt, Yusaku squeezed the trigger three times in
rapid succession.  However, each bullet was deflected away from Mara's
body at the last instant, bouncing off of some sort of invisible shield
around the demoness.

 Guess not.

"Now it's my turn," said Mara calmly.  She fired off a blast of energy
that forced Yusaku to dodge.  Smiling, she brought her aim closer with
each succeeding blast.

Oops. Playing cat and mouse is going to be her downfall.

"Deflect this," said Ayaka angrily, and she pulled the trigger.  She
had sensed Mara's shields weaken, and the silver and orichalcum-tipped
slug ripped through what was left like it wasn't even there.  A couple
of centimeters further over to one side, and it would have taken a good
portion of Mara's head with it.  As it was, it only managed to graze a
shallow furrow across one side of her skull.  A second shot quickly
rang out from Ayaka's gun before the echoes of the first had faded,
narrowly missing Mara's chest as the first shot spun her around.

Heh. Mara's having a really bad day.

Frost hovered in the air outside, still invisible, allowing the attack
spell she had been holding to dissipate.  Her first spell had weakened
the demoness' shield without her presence being noticed, allowing the
others to deal with it more effectively.  But the creature had escaped,
and she was the only one with sufficient mobility to follow.  Her body
streaked away into the night.

Off for round 2, I see.

                    ******************************

In the aftermath, Yusaku sat a bit stunned, staring at the remnants of
what had once been his apartment.  Belldandy sat next to him, looking
quite exhausted as she slept.  She had managed to heal everyone, even a
suspicious Minami and Yohko, before passing out.  It was a shame that
she could not have done the same for his room.

Actually she might be able to in time. She is quite powerful.

He saw Ayaka talking

with someone on her cellphone, but the trio of teenagers had already
left.  A sigh escaped his lips.  Where was he going to live now?  Why
was this all happening to him?

"Wow, Godai-kun," came Akemi's slurred voice from the doorway.  "No
wonder you didn't want to come to my party."

Heh.

                    ******************************

Reappearing in an alleyway located in a somewhat disreputable section
of Tokyo, Mara cursed the recent turn of events.  She sagged against a
grimy wall as the pain in her head threatened to overwhelm her, and

not sure if you need that comma

buckle, she struggled to stave off shock and forced herself to remain
conscious by sheer will.  Her mind slowly cleared as her magics took
hold, beginning the torturous process of knitting her tattered flesh
back together.

Yeah. Destructive magic is easy for a demon, healing would be a bit more of
a drain though.

"I would have won, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids,"

^_^

The figure was silent as it stared at Mara, gazing dispassionately from
out of the shadows as the last of her reserves finally gave out, her
eyes rolled back in their sockets, and the demoness quietly slumped
down unconscious against the wall.

Wonder what bad guy that was.

                    ******************************

The last syllables of the incantation rolled off of Hikaru's tongue,
the tome he had been reading from laying spread out before him on his
desk.  He was surprised when a sudden wave of weariness overcame him,
for such a thing was not supposed to be part of the spell.

Heh. I wonder what else wasn't mentioned in the book.

 Even as his

eyelids drooped, he somehow managed to stand up and take two faltering
steps towards the door before falling unconscious.  His last thought
was oddly of Minami, certain that the redheaded Ghost Sweeper would
have berated him harshly for attempting something so risky.

Probably.

As Hikaru's body collapsed limply to the floor of his room, it was
silent for several moments, then a robed and cowled figure emerged
soundlessly from the wall, translucent silver in coloring, its ethereal
shape hovering slightly in the air.  Without any delay, the ghostly
apparition dove into Hikaru's slumbering body, vanishing within his
body and causing it to jerk once slightly before it fell still once
again.

two 'once's close together. I'd get rid of the second.

The tome resting on the desk shimmered slightly, swiftly transforming
itself back into its true appearance, that of a more ordinary-looking
book, the words on the open page reforming into a dry dissertation on
the history of Gnosticism.

Heh. Cute.

                    ******************************

Frost had come up empty on her search of the nearby Tokyo area.  It was
as if the demonic entity she was seeking had somehow been swallowed up
by the city,

Probably.

The still figure on the bedroom floor suddenly began to move, blinking
open his eyes.  Then, a throaty chuckling emerged from the throat as
hands shifted to beneath the chest, slowly levering the body up from
the floor.  Standing up shakily, the figure gazed about the room, a
smirk adorning his face.  A faint glimmering could be discerned in the
irises of Hikaru's eyes, like minute electrical storms.

Wonder what's in ole Hikaru now.

"At last," said the figure, an almost rapturous expression on his face
as he moved about the room, somewhat clumsily at first.  He held one
hand up before his face, sparkles of energy dancing from fingertip to
fingertip.  "

Well, he's going to be a surprise for Ranma in his current state, all right.

I know that you can't hear me right now in your slumbering

state, Hikaru Gosunkugi, but I thank you for the loan of this body.  It
will do nicely for my needs.  My apologies for the subterfuge, but even
your will was too strong for me to overcome in my current state.  And I
need the access your body will give me to the Mobius Institute.

They don't have wards that can detect possession, or is this guy powerful
enough to bypass them.

  This

is a matter of life and death, Gosunkugi-san.  Mine, to be precise.  So
know that you have the gratitude of Simon Magus, the Lord of Illusions

Not familliar with the name.

and the greatest wizard who has ever lived.

And died, evidently.

Using this body, I will

finally obtain the key to my long-sought victory, the Nanban Mirror,
and Simon Magus will live again."

Heh. That old thing. We shall see.

Frost paused on her way back to the Mobius Institute, suddenly sensing
a surge in etheric energies nearby.  Banking sharply, she circled the
building she had just passed, an apartment complex near the Institute.

Uh oh. Trouble for either her or Gos.

She quickly zeroed in on one window in particular and swooped up to
peak

peek

inside.  She hovered just outside the glass, holding her staff

across her body to render it less visible, only her head rising high
enough to see inside.

end two sentences on 'inside' I'd drop this one, I think'

                    ******************************

It was at that moment that Simon Magus chose to fling open the window
to Hikaru's room for some fresh air.

Heh. Nice timing.

  He was quite astonished to see a

white-robed albino girl with pretty Asian features and white-blonde
hair hovering just outside the window.

That he would have ko'ed her by accident.

Frost backed away from the window when Hikaru suddenly vanished from
before her eyes, even as she raised a defensive screen.

Well, she is tensed for combat. She might have the edge.

 She could not

tell if he had gone invisible or teleported.  But, either way, seeing
the esper boy do such a thing had caught her off guard.  Her eyes
scanned the air around her, seeking her foe.

She should be changing her own position. Remaining still might cost her .

Appearing behind the girl, Simon saw the globe of energies forming on
the tip of her staff.  Good.  The albino girl

can drop this 'girl.'

still had some fight in

her after all.  Casting a quick spell, he smirked and whistled to get
her attention, waving when she turned his way.  Despite his cocky look,
he could feel his energies beginning to lose cohesion.

Oops.

"Nice spell," remarked a familiar voice right behind her.  "You must be
an elemental wizard."

Heh. She's going to lose bad.

"I win, you lose," remarked Simon jauntily.  He had a moment to enjoy
his victory, and then Frost's shields collapsed, discharging their
energies into him.  The unexpected surge of power into his system had
disrupted his astral form, and he could feel his soul coming apart at
the seams.  The ground began rushing up, a moment of terrifying deja vu
that enabled him to focus enough to teleport himself and the girl back
to his room.

Oops. Too cocky for his own good as well, I see.

Even as she slipped into unconsciousness, having been defeated through
the basest of magical trickery, Frost still had the satisfaction of
hearing her foe gasp as her defensive screens discharged into him, a
special modification she had made to her shield spells long ago, just
in case someone ever engaged her in melee combat.  Her body went limp
in the arms of her conqueror as her staff went spinning away into the
darkness to drive half of its length into the ground far below.  The
finest Amazon sorceress in generations, bested by an outsider!  As her
thoughts fell into darkness, she vaguely recalled that that should mean
something to her.

Heh. Wonder if she'll care to be married to Gos, though. Especially since he
wasn't the one calling the shots.

Moments after reappearing in Hikaru's bedroom, Simon clasped his hands
to his skull, feeling a tugging that rapidly grew stronger.  It wasn't
fair!  He had won!  But his mental cries went unheeded by the universe,
and he could feel his astral form beginning to be pulled back through
the millennia, to when history recorded his death in the marble streets
of Rome, having tried and failed to defeat the magics of Simon Peter,
the Apostle.  He fought with all of his strength, latching every ounce
of his magical powers into this body to hang on against the tides of
history that pulled against him.  But that proved to be a mistake, and
he felt his powers wrenched free of his astral form to lodge within the
body he had sought to inhabit for a time.

Hmm. Almost anti-climatic with what Gos had originally been planning and how
long he wanted revenge on Ranma.

"Are you sure this is going to be all right?" Yusaku asked the redhead
currently driving the vehicle he was riding in, a taxicab that had been
commandeered for this trip.  Next to him in a small suitcase were the
few pathetic remnants of his life that he had managed to salvage from
his shattered apartment.  Luckily, his spare uniform had survived.

Heh. Nice to see he had his priorities straight.

Belldandy was still slumped unconsciously but apparently comfortably
against his shoulder.  However, after seeing what the slumbering deity
sleeping next to him had been capable of, her nearness was making him
nervous, like sitting next to an armed nuclear warhead or something.

Hmm. Not a good foundation to a relationship.

from this point on, Lieutenant Godai.  My boss has arranged for some
semi-permanent lodgings in the area for you and your... companion, and
that's all you should be concerned about.  In a way, she's a visiting
dignitary of sorts, and she's going to be treated as a special guest of
the Mobius Institute."

Though I'm certain the MI thinks of her as merely an entity of another plan
of existance rather than divine. Perhaps a benevolent, very powerful plain,
but still not under any kind of actual celestial authority, since that would
imply a higher power that could conceivably order around with an authority
higher than that of the Emperor.

Realizing he was not going to win this argument, Yusaku settled back
into his seat and waited to arrive at his destination.  He watched the
streetlights going by, musing at how quickly his life had been turned
upside down.  Why was this happening to him?

The author likes you and is going to make your life hell.

No, he had asked for none of these things.  All Yusaku Godai had wished
for was for a woman to fall in love with him and stay with him forever.
It had been a surprise to Ayaka to hear those words come out of a man's
mouth.  Based on her experiences with men, that would have been about
the very last thing she would have expected one to want above all other
things in the world.

It's only because he's a wussbag. ^_^

Dropping her gaze back to the road in front of the car, Ayaka shook her
head.  Maybe it had all been as Yusaku had claimed, that he thought
this was some sort of scam being run by the Institute.  Even if it had
been some sort of loyalty test (and Ayaka found it hard to believe that
the Mobius Institute did not have better uses for its resources), he
could have asked for something else equally innocuous.  But all he had
asked for was the love of a woman.  As she continued driving, she kept
wondering why his asking for that kept nagging at her.

Heh. I see someone is going to have women nipping at his heels soon.

                    ******************************

"Tendo-san?  Ono-san?

Took me a moment to remember this is Kasumi's last name.

shift at the Arena tonight, she knew that he would not return until
morning, unless he used one of the cots at the hospital as he had been
doing more often of late.

Definitely a marriage on the rocks.

It was odd that the Tendo household would be taking in a boarder on
such short notice, but apparently it had something to do with some sort
of Security Directorate business.  Kyoko found herself wondering what
the young man who would be staying with them was like.  Perhaps he was
some dashingly handsome agent of the Directorate, and the woman was a
foreign spy defecting to the Empire.  She smiled at her brief fantasy
as she gathered up the bedding materials.

Well, she's going to be in for a disappointment.

While she was finishing up the second room, she heard the sounds of the
front gate opening and closing.  Kyoko hurried out into the hallway and
down the stairs in order to meet their new guests properly.  Pausing
before the hallway mirror, she checked her appearance for a moment.  A
good first impression was important.

Hmm. History going to apparently repeat itself, I see.

                    ******************************

"Your guests are here, Father," said Kasumi, hearing footsteps on the
front walk.  Kyoko was still upstairs working on getting the bedrooms
ready, so she stood up.  "I'll go let them in, if that's all right."

Oh, my bad.

Yusaku shifted the small suitcase he was carrying to his other hand,
worried about his first meeting with Assistant Director Soun Tendo.  He
struggled to hide his nervousness, and a brief touch on his arm from
Belldandy was surprisingly calming.  If only he could meet a mortal
woman who was as kind and sweet.

And couldn't vaporize a city block if the mood suited her.

That thought had barely registered when the door slid open and an angel
stood there.  For a moment, Yusaku felt a sort of electric shock surge
through his entire body, and an odd half-smile appeared on his face.

The vision of immaculate loveliness then spoke, while smiling gently.
"Welcome to the Tendo household.  My name is Kasumi.  Please, come
inside and be welcome in my father's home."

Hehehehehe. Well now, this is a switch. And an interesting one too. I
approve.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Well, it's been a long time between chapters, but another one is at
last completed.  Between work and my recent addiction to Everquest my
time spent writing has dwindled significantly, but I still kept poking
away at this story.  This chapter ties up a few lingering plot threads
and adds a few more.

Yep. Done much of both. One Gos plot thread tied up, but more troubles of a
different nature on it. Little bit more of everything across the board. At
160K, that's not surprising. Story flowed well, though I'd have released it
in two different parts. More characters introduced and some underused ones
appearing again. Lot of plot threads still around, so beware of using too
many, though I'm able to follow things pretty well. But then, I'm a big fan.
:)

Already looking forward for more. Definitely well worth the wait.

D.B. Sommmer




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