TRYING TO COMPREHEND
A short Sailor Moon fanfic by Andrew Dynon
Sailor Moon created by Naoko Takeuchi
Any & all C&C needed and appreciated
With deepest sympathy for the victims of terrorism, their families and their friends.
*
"Setsuna-mama?"
Hotaru stood in the doorway, dressed in her pajamas, wide awake despite it being the middle of the night. Anyone looking at her would be able to tell she was deeply shocked. Setsuna knew exactly why.
"Setsuna-mama, a lot of people died, didn't they? In America? Four planes crashed?" Her voice was too numb to be anything but calm.
"Hai. It will be all over the TV. Do... do you want to see?" Setsuna's voice was pained, more pained than Hotaru had ever heard it before.
"No." Seeing the crashes once in a dream was one time too many. Perhaps, someone who had been such a large part of the coming of Pharaoh 90 should have been less vulnerable to the terrible feeling of numbness. Hotaru didn't think so, though. Any other feeling would have meant she had been somewhat desensitised. She looked at Setsuna.
"Setsuna-mama, you knew this would happen, didn't you? You could have prevented it."
"Yes, I knew. But no, I could not have stopped this. There are rules that dictate when and how I may use my powers, and they bind me as much as the universe is bound by the laws of physics and chemistry. They're not like human laws that can be broken, they're a part of what... who I am."
"Hotaru, I envy you. I envy the innocent look in your eyes." Her voice was cracking, now. "This is nothing new to me. I've seen so much death... disasters, wars, genocides. I was at Hiroshima and Nagasaki when the atomic bombs were dropped. I witnessed the Nazis' genocides, and the flood that entered the mythology of the Hebrews, Sumerians, Greeks and others. And every time, I was forced to remember an even more tragic event." Hotaru didn't need Setsuna to say what this event was. The reminder was visible every night, as clear as the moon in the sky. For the first time, she saw tears well in Setsuna's eyes.
"I don't... grieve... when I can act, Hotaru. But when I cannot, I must... allow myself this... selfish feeling of... helplessness."
"What will happen next?"
"You understand that I cannot reveal the details to you?" Hotaru nodded. "The Americans will take revenge for this, of course, but the underlying hate will not be vanquished - more than likely, its power will increase. It will be transferred between people and nations, and eventually awaken a force that embodies the darkest parts of humanity."
"Death Phantom. I saw it in my dream."
Suddenly, Hotaru started to walk toward the phone. When she was within an arm's length of it rang.
"Moshi-moshi."
"Hotaru-chan?"
"Usagi?"
"Have you seen it?"
"Yes."
"Me too. All I could think of... when I saw it... it was - sort of - like Fiore. They were so angry that they did this... I just wish..."
"Usagi-san..."
"I just wish... that I could have talked to them before this happened."
AUTHOR'S NOTES
At approximately 1 AM Australian Eastern Standard Time on Wednesday morning, I was woken by a phone call from dad saying that there had been a terrorist attack in America, but he was okay. Then, last night as I had just gone to bed, I got the idea of Hotaru waking after seeing the terrorist attack in a nightmare, and knew I had to write it the next morning. I have tried to convey the feelings that ran through me in the wee hours of the morning as I learned of this tragedy. I know fiction can never begin to approach the horror of real devastation, but I can only hope that I have managed to convey some sense of what it was like on a personal level, in a passable story.
Once again, my deepest sympathies for the victims of terrorism, their families, and their friends.
________________________________________
Andrew Dynon
"No! Don't bring back the terror!!"
- Miharu, _Gasaraki_
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