Thermopyle wrote:

I do have to admit that I didn't read the original story all this discussion
is springing up over.

Ano...the stories *are* going in the FFML archive, right?

ObFic:

---

Life sucks.

Everyone else lives life in a rainbow of emotions.  Chaos is theirs to
command.  Surprises, joy, sorrow...

...and I get the grey.

Sure, I can play the violin like nobody's business.  From a sheet, no
problem.  "By heart"?  Sure, just let me memorize it.  Michirubot is
happy to serve.

Except I'm not happy.  I'm not anything.  Except maybe bored.  And
bored of being bored.

Oh, I suppose if I really want a thrill, I can go Neptune whenever I
want.  Luna may have cowed the Inners into thinking there's a time
limit, but I know better.  Fifty days at a stretch is my longest, and
then I only went back because I thought boredom would be a nice change
of pace.  I *could* just change and stay Neptune forever if I wanted,
and perhaps someday I will.

Oh, I fake it well enough when Haruka gets fiesty.  Just 'cause I'm
bored doesn't mean she has to suffer.  Unless I'm punishing her...but
that would require being non-bored enough to care.  And I can give
presentation after presentation on my art without suffering the onset
of mind-numbing boredom because I'm already fucking THERE.

Whoa...that was wierd.  I got angry, for a moment.  Let me see if I can
recapture that spark...nope, gone.  Too late.  Oh, well, back to
boredom.

Funny.  Before I started chasing daimons and the like, most of my time
as Sailor Neptune was spent painting.  Yes, that's right, painting.  Do
you know how hard it is to paint when you don't have any imagination
with which to envision what you're painting?  Neptune has no problem
with that...and once I'm plain old Michiru again, the world thinks I
painted it 'cause I say so.  Well...it's true, kind of, that I did
paint them, for certain definitions of "I".

Maybe I should just transform and be done with it.  Goodbye forever,
Michiru, hello Neptune.  But that wouldn't work.  Even Neptune gets
bored...of being Neptune.  And taking the other way out would let
Haruka down, not to mention the other Sailors.

I wish I knew why I cared.
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