--- Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
Adrian Tymes wrote:
Anyway, the rest of the school day was predictably
boring. Almost the only reason I keep doing my
homework and taking those tests is to show my
contempt for this pitiful work...and so I can taunt
those losers in the lower 90%. Not that I bother
associating with anyone who scores as high as I do:
they're either stuck-up and pretentious, or they know
what they are doing and therefore dangerous. I like
to think of myself as the latter.
Generally, I thought that this fic was nothing
short of brilliant, with the possible exception of
this passage.
Does Usagi _need_ to be this smart for it to work?
It seems a tad jarring from the otherwise flawless
depiction of a tough-as-nails Usagi.
I liked this bit, and think it should stay. I'm really interested in learning what this Usagi would do upon meeting Ami.
Luna finished pawing through the dairy as the sun
came up, sneaking another nervous peek towards the
slumbering blonde before putting the dairy away.
"Well, she certainly is the reincarnation of the
princess. I just hope, when she meets Beryl again,
she does not channel her anger into another magical
blast large enough to wipe out civilization. We were
lucky to save life on Earth, even if it was at the
cost of the Moon Kingdom. Now that we're *on*
Earth..." She shuddered, for neither the first, nor
the last, time.
And this bit. Is the joke really necessary,
either? I think this alt carries its own weight
without the punchline just fine. Or, maybe the
delivery just didn't work for me...
For a spamfic, it works well. For a serious fic...maybe, maybe not.
Regardless:
I'm just disapointed it ended there! Excelent
work, Mr. Times, very thought provoking. Kudos!
Agreed, agreed. To that I'd like to add two words: continue this! Please! (Okay, so that was three words.)
I usually don't read Sailor Moon fics, but would gladly make an exception for this one. I want to know what happens with the other characters.
How would this Usagi react to Ami? Stuck-up and pretentious? Or might Ami actually earn slightly higher scores, thus generating a rivalry?
And I think it's safe to say that there would be none of the good-natured bickering between Usagi and Rei--not after the first time, anyway.
==
Defender of the Light
Elite Mage
junior member of the Inner Circle of the Mages Council
Contrary to popular opinion, magic and science do mix.
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