Hello all! Here's a fanfic on FF8. I stuck to canon as much as I could--there's quite a bit of stuff in "Tutorial-Information" that I used, so if you have no idea who Hyne is, that's why. :)

Also, some things aren't clear, like Laguna's present age, Ellone's, and so on. Forgive me for what I made up.

I would love and appreciate any sort of C&C/feedback.  Drop me a note, no matter how long or short. . .I'd love it. Thanks to everyone who reads this for his/her time.

***

Griever

A Final Fantasy VIII Fanfic

Irene Ying


******************


Prologue

"Sleeping and Dreaming" -- Josiah Holland


I softly sink into the bath of sleep;
  With eyelids shut, I see around me close
The mottled, violet vapors of the deep,
  That wraps me in repose.

I float all night in the ethereal sea
  That drowns my pain and weariness in balm,
Careless of where its currents carry me,
  Or settle into calm.

That which the ear can hear is silent all;
  But, in the lower stillness which I reach,
Soft whispers call me, like the distant fall
  Of waves upon the beach.

Now, like the mother, who, with patient care,
  Has soothed to rest her faint, o'erwearied boy,
My spirit leaves the couch, and seeks the air,
  For freedom and for joy.

Drunk up like vapors by the morning sun,
  The past and future rise and disappear,
And times and spaces gather home, and run
  Into a common sphere.

My youth is round me, and the silent tomb
  Has burst to set its fairest prisoner free,
And I await her in the dewy gloom
  Of the old trysting tree.

I mark the flutter of her snowy dress;
  I hear the tripping of her fairy feet;
And now, pressed closely in a pure caress,
  With ardent joy we meet.

I tell again the story of my love,
  I drink again her lip's delicious wine;
And, while the same old stars look down above,
  Her eyes look up to mine.

I dream that I am dreaming, and I start,
  Then dream again that naught so real comes in dreams;
Then kiss again to reassure my heart
  That she is what she seems.

Our steps tend homeward; lingering at the gate,
  I breathe, and breathe again, my fond good-night.
She shuts the cruel door, and still I wait
  To watch her window-light.

I see the shadow of her dainty head
  On curtains that I pray her hand may stir,
Till all is dark; and then I seek my bed
  To dream I dream of her.

Like the swift moon that glides from cloud to cloud,
  With only hurried space to smile between,
I pierce the phantoms that around me cloud,
  And glide from scene to scene.

I clasp warm hands that long have lain in dust,
  I hear sweet voices that have long been still;
And earth and sea give up their hallowed trust,
  In answer to my will.

And now, high-gazing toward the starry dome,
  I see three airy forms come floating down--
The long-lost angels of my early home--
  My night of joy to crown.

They pause above, beyond my eager reach,
  With arms enwreathed and forms of heavenly grace,
And smiling back the love that smiles from each,
  I see them face to face.

They breathe no language, but their holy eyes
  Beam an embodied blessing on my heart,
That warm within my trustful bosom lies,
  And never will depart.

I drink the effluence, till through all my soul
  I feel a flood of peaceful rapture flow,
That swells to joy at last, and bursts control,
  And I awake; but lo!

With eyelids shut, I hold the vision fast,
  And still detain it by my ardent prayer,
Till faint and fainter grown, it fades at last
  Into the silent air.

My God! I thank thee for the bath of sleep,
  That wraps in balm my weary heart and brain,
And drowns within its waters still and deep
  My sorrow and my pain.

I thank thee for my dreams, which loose the bond
  That binds my spirit to its daily load,
And gives it angel wings, to fly beyond
  Its slumber-bound abode.

I thank thee for these glimpses of the clime
  That lies beyond the boundaries of sense,
Where I shall wash away the stains of time
  In floods of recompense;--

Where, when this body sleeps to wake no more,
  My soul shall rise to everlasting dreams,
And find unreal all it saw before,
  And real all that seems.


***


Chapter One -- Bend in the River


Balamb Garden, back in its place, was a huge, multicolored 
jewel in the malachite setting of a tiny island nation 
called Balamb, with the peaceful port city of Balamb City 
as its capital.  The school-town place shimmered in the 
clear morning air, with salty breezes of the sea blowing 
into its friendly walls.  The Garden seemed to hover in 
the air; in reality, it had settled down once again into 
its old, familiar place.

Inside the Garden, running through the bright, clean 
hallways, came a beautiful young girl.  Her hair was 
shoulder-length and layered, with a few golden-brown 
streaks near the front part of her hair.  Her eyes were 
almond-shaped and dark, chocolate brown.  Her face was a 
pretty, classic oval, and the eyes were bright with a 
warmth and vitality that spoke of passion for life, among 
other things.  Right now, the passion was for the name she 
spoke.  "Squall. . .Squall!"

Rinoa, wearing her usual blue duster, came tearing down 
the hallway, looking for the aforementioned young man.  A 
few SeeDs and SeeDs-in-training smiled at her as she ran 
down, exasperation and annoyance in her voice.  "Squall!  
Where are you?" She turned her head this way and that, her 
fringe of dark hair flying with her.  She stomped a boot 
on the ground.  "I swear!  He's supposed to be here!  
Where is he now?" Impatience in her tone, she looked both 
ways.  "Squall!"

"Rinoa?  Are you looking for Squall?" A clear, feminine 
voice said behind her.

Rinoa turned and smiled to see another girl standing 
there.  "Yes."

"Well." The older girl smiled at Rinoa.  She was about 
Rinoa's height, and looked to be only a year or so older.  
Her glossy hair was straight and chestnut brown, and it 
fell to her shoulders, where it was cut in a straight 
line.  She had some bangs, rather like Rinoa's.  Her face 
was heart-shaped and pale.  Her eyes, when Rinoa looked, 
were dark blue, and smiling.  She wore a SeeD instructor's 
gray, blue, red-and-gold uniform.  "I believe he is with 
Zell, training or something." More like fighting over hot 
dogs, she thought with a hidden smile.  "Or. . .they may 
be in the cafeteria, just chatting."

"Thanks." Rinoa ran a hand through her hair.  "You 
wouldn't believe the trouble I've had finding him--" she 
broke off and extended a hand to the other girl, who 
looked vaguely familiar.  "I'm Rinoa Heartilly.  You are. 
. ."

"Xu Lanhua." The woman smiled and turned in another 
direction, going down the hallway.

Rinoa nodded after her and started walking towards the 
training center, thoughtfully going over the name.  Xu.  
That's right, I remember her.  She was with us on the 
Ragnarok. . .isn't she pretty high up in the Garden 
hierarchy?  Hey, if she can give orders to Seifer, then 
she's definitely got something going for her.  She seemed 
to be in charge. . .she knows me.  Silly me, why don't I 
remember her?  Shame on me.

Hurrying down the hallway, Rinoa ran.  Xu was forgotten.  
She wanted to find Squall, and fast.

***

Xu went back to her apartment and threw herself on the 
twin-sized bed.  She was exhausted, although it wouldn't 
do to slouch and yawn in front of other soldiers and 
cadets at the Garden.  Besides being the Card Queen of the 
CC Group at Balamb Garden, she was a high-level instructor 
and was just one level below Squall, who was right below 
Headmaster Cid and Matron Edea.  As Quistis used to remind 
her, she had a reputation to uphold as a SeeD instructor.  
She was supposed to show herself off at the dance.

Right now, the reputation didn't need much upholding.  Xu 
didn't exactly have those groupies that Quistis had and 
was gathering more of every day.  She wasn't carefree and 
spunky like Selphie--whom she always admired.  Nor was she 
the beautiful, radiant woman that Rinoa was.

All in all, what did she have going for her? Xu tried to 
count her attributes and what she added to Garden as an 
instructor.  Marked intelligence.  Superior fighting 
skills, although she was always better at the 
administering level.  Confidence in herself.  Reliability.  
Hmm, hmm, that was it.  Her reputation was of a 
dependable, intelligent, and businesslike instructor.  
Though she passed the SeeD test easily, she was better as 
a leader than a soldier, and had been recognized as such.  
That was her. . .this was her future.  Much as she hated 
to admit it, she was jealous of those two girls.  She was 
Xu the instructor, Xu the Heart of the CC Group.  Well, if 
nothing else, that was an easy enough reputation to 
maintain.  Xu locked her door--as an instructor, she had a 
bigger bedroom than Squall had seen in years.  Then she 
took off the uniform and went into the bathroom for a 
shower.

Tonight was the big party, celebrating Ultimecia's defeat 
and Squall's victory.  She and Nida had piloted the Garden 
back to Balamb, and they had temporarily settled down.  
Construction began, lead by the engineering-minded cadets 
and SeeDs.  The construction was finished very quickly. . 
.the announcements made. . .and tonight, just three months 
afterwards, was the party.  Reporters from Timber and 
Esthar, the two biggest places on the globe, were going to 
be there, taping for future television broadcasts.  Wasn't 
this the biggest event of the millennium?

And everyone was going to be there, from the most junior 
students to the oldest instructors!  What was she supposed 
to wear, she wondered as she stepped into the fine, hot 
spray.  She wasn't a student anymore, so she could wear a 
formal to the dance.

Except, oh horror of horrors, she didn't own anything 
fancy.  She owned three uniforms, a special uniform for 
very special ceremonies, one nightgown, one pair of 
pajamas, and a few sweaters and skirts for civilian wear.  
The list didn't include a formal.  Nor has she ever 
desired one.  There was no reason for her to own a fancy 
gown.  Maybe it was tiem to invest in one.  Had she had 
time, Xu might have wandered into Balamb and picked up a 
semi-formal dress, something pretty but inexpensive, and 
worn it.  But, there was no time.  So she had to settle 
for the uniforms.  At least she could look official, 
professional.

With these thoughts, Xu shampooed her hair with some fancy 
new shampoo that Quistis had given her for a gift.  It was 
a new sort of herbal shampoo, smelling like violets.  The 
conditioner was much the same.  After that, she soaped and 
rinsed her body.  She turned off the water, wrapped a 
thick white towel around herself, and proceeded to stare 
at her closet.  After a while, Xu pulled out a uniform.  
She looked young enough to pass for a student, despite 
being twenty.  It would be all right.

She dried her hair and slowly dressed, dreading going to 
the party.  Xu was not looking forward to the night, not 
at all.  What better way to be bored?  She wasn't social 
at all.  Squall and his team should have a lot of fun, 
although Quistis and Squall generally disliked crowds and 
too many people at one time.  Selphie, Rinoa, and Irvine 
would have fun all night.  Squall and Rinoa would probably 
ditch the party to have their own fun as soon as the 
formalities were over.  Xu smiled at the thought.

"Ahh, better get there on time," she muttered to herself.  
She had on her nicest uniform.  No one could complain.  
The skirt was an inch shorter than her usual knee-length 
skirt.  The outfit was navy blue velvet, and the trim was 
still gold velvet, but there was much elaborate silver 
embroidery on the wide collar.  Since the uniform was not 
meant for fighting, she put on some ankle-high black 
boots, and not the taller combat sort.  She laced them up, 
and looked at herself in the mirror.

Good enough.  She wasn't supposed to miss the party.

***

"Selphie, since when are you so. . .taken with Irvine?" 
Quistis, dressed in her usual pink shirt and skirt outfit, 
looked at her younger friend.  Selphie seemed fixated on 
watching Irvine's various antics--all involving women, 
naturally.  She frowned a little, and Quistis easily 
picked up the jealousy.

"Huh?  Dunno." Carefree as always, the perky girl jumped 
in front of the camera and started waving.  Her yellow 
jumper stood out, so the camera operator waved to her and 
focused on her dancing figure.  She brushed back her brown 
hair and started doing a little jig for his benefit.  Then 
she took the camera, focused it on her face, and claimed 
it for her own to use.

"Such a ham, isn't she?"

Irvine's voice came over Quistis's shoulder, and she 
rolled her eyes.  Count on Irvine to come in at this kind 
of moment!  "So what?  At least she can dance.  Can you do 
that, Irvine?"

The best shooter in Garden leaned back.  "But of course, 
Quistis!" He started an attempt at a cowboy sort of 
country-dance.  The only thing Quistis found impressive 
about it was that somehow, he didn't trip himself and fall 
down while he pranced around madly.

"Enough," she said, just as Selphie's camera turned 
towards them.  They talked and argued for a few seconds on 
the subject of dancing, before they noticed the camera and 
started waving.  Irvine, true to form, went up to the lens 
and started peering into it.  Quistis groaned, turned, and 
walked away to find some punch.  The hot atmosphere was 
getting to her.  She found Cid, talked to him, and Irvine 
came along just as Edea made her appearance as well.

SeeDs and SeeD cadets roamed around the hallway.  Those 
having a part in the proceedings were dressed in uniforms; 
those who did not wore formal clothes.  Quistis waved to a 
pretty girl wearing in a lavender moir� gown, past two 
nervous men in tuxedos, and another girl in a knee-length 
wine velvet dress.  She suddenly felt out of place, but 
ignored it.  This night was supposed to honor her, Squall, 
Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine.  Who cared how she 
looked?  She had showered anyway.  Nothing to complain 
about.

Quistis walked past Zell, who was stuffing his face, quite 
literally, on all the hot dogs he had wanted.  The 
"pigtailed girl", as the group knew her, from the library 
was sitting next to him, trying very hard not to laugh.  
Selphie and Irvine walked past just as Zell started 
choking, and they managed to save him before realizing 
that the camera had followed them.  Everyone but Zell 
fled, and when he got up and realized that he was alone, 
he aimed a nice thrust at the camera.

Squall and Rinoa had long tired of the crowded atmosphere.  
They were on the stone balcony, trying to steal a few 
private moments before the real festivities began.

It was a gorgeous night outside.  The sky was clear, and 
stars were beginning to show in the evening sky.  A cool, 
refreshing breeze blue past, sweeping back Squall's hair 
as he looked at Rinoa.  His face was lit up in the silver 
luminescence of the night, making him look all the more 
handsome to Rinoa.

"Look, a shooting star." Rinoa pointed to a white glowing 
streak above her, smiling as she turned to face Squall.  
Squall looked.  Indeed.  When he looked down, Rinoa's arms 
were around him.  He broke a rare smile and put his arms 
on hers.

"Rinoa." They pulled closer.

"What?" Rinoa murmured from the depth of Squall's shirt.  
"Hmm?"

"Rinoa. . .I hear them inside, and the formalities are 
about to begin.  I, um, wouldn't mind staying here, but. . 
.ahh, I don't wanna get in trouble."

"Silly." Rinoa kissed him, then grabbed his arm.  "Let's 
go in together, then."

***

Xu walked into the ballroom, feeling awed.  She had 
forgotten how splendid the place looked when properly 
decorated and filled with people in finery.  The domed 
ceiling worked in gold swirls, the huge crystal-paned 
skylight, the smooth-as-water, checkered marble floor, the 
delicately fine decorations on the walls and ceiling, the 
lush green plants on the walls.  There were huge banquet 
tables displaying every kind of food, with fresh flowers 
in crystal vases adorning the pristine linen tablecloths.  
She glanced around and watched people dancing and chatting 
around her.  Lights shone on everything, throwing a golden 
radiance into the vast chamber.

She was slightly late.  People were already enjoying the 
food, and some amorous couples were dancing.  An orchestra 
was playing some light classical music in one corner, a 
fanciful tune dominated by flutes and violins.  Friends 
grouped together, chattering about the event, laughing, 
and pointing around.

Now Xu felt more left out than awed.  She sighed and 
fingered the uniform.  She knew that the other 
instructors, who were probably in gowns and suits, would 
ask her about her choice of fashion.  Xu went to the table 
and picked up a small goblet filled with juice, then 
walked to a relatively empty area and stood, sipping 
slowly at the drink.  When would the festivities begin?  
As an instructor, she had to be present, especially since 
she was one of the high-level people.

*BUMP*

"Hey!" Xu lurched forward.  She didn't fall, but the glass 
went flying and smashed on the floor.  The wine-colored 
liquid spilled everywhere, a red stain on the white marble 
floor.  Darn it all! Xu turned around.  "Who--"

"Sorry, sorry," said a man, looking very sheepish and 
embarrassed.  He had shoulder-length dark hair, and wore a 
light blue shirt with khaki slacks.  He had two dog tags 
on a chain around his neck.  He'd been in the army, then.  
Besides, he looked quite strong.  Who was he, another 
recruit?  He looked a bit too old for that.  And yet, he 
looked vaguely familiar. . .behind him was a younger girl, 
slim and graceful.  She wore a blue sleeveless shirt with 
white lapels and a white skirt.  A long, gauzy green scarf 
went around her waist and draped down her arms.  Her hair 
was short and brown.  Her eyes were smiling with a 
strangely peaceful gaze.  Hmm, Xu thought, she must be his 
daughter.  Yes, something about that pair looked awfully 
familiar.

"It. . .it is no matter." Xu didn't want to clean up the 
mess, but she had to tell someone.  "Excuse me while I get 
someone to--"

"Nah, I'll do it.  My fault anyway." The man stooped down 
with a napkin and started to brush the glass shards.  
"Sorry.  I'm so clumsy.  Er. . .do you know where the food 
table is?"

"Yes.  It's right to your left." Xu pointed when he got up 
to look.  A long table, covered with a gold-embroidered 
linen cloth, was laden with platters and bowls of food.  
Rows of crystal goblets filled with various drinks grouped 
together on one end.  Clean plates and silverware were on 
a smaller covered table to its right.  "Help yourself 
before the real dancing starts.  Then you won't get a 
chance."

"Oh, of course.  Thank you." The man continued cleaning.  
Xu began to feel faintly amused.  The poor man didn't 
really have to be doing this. . ."I'm Xu.  Xu Lanhua.  
You?"

"Me?  I'm Laguna Loire, and this is my ward, Ellone." Both 
bowed, then shook each other's hand.  Laguna smiled at 
her.  "You're a cadet?  Or are you already a SeeD?" He 
gazed at her.  Quite pretty, he thought.

Xu flushed.  "I'm an instructor." It must be the uniform, 
she thought at first.  His next words proved her wrong. 
"Oh!  I didn't know they hired teenagers. . ." Laguna's 
mouth, as usual, was getting out of hand.  "Dang, you're a 
prodigy." He looked at her with admiration that made Xu 
blush.

"Uncle Laguna!" Ellone chided him softly, with a little 
laugh.

"I'm twenty," Xu informed him blandly.  Well, he looked 
young too.  She said so, anticipating a similar response 
from him.

"I'm thirty-six," Laguna replied, with a grin.  "Guess we 
both know how it feels." He laughed freely.

"Yes." Xu didn't know what else to say. "I. . .I see." His 
easygoing demeanor pleased her.

"Why are you in a uniform?" Laguna gestured to the other 
instructors.  "Didn't feel like dressing up?"

"No, I simply couldn't.  I don't own any formal dresses." 
Xu braced for his reaction.  Yep, there it was.  Laguna 
laughed, and Ellone with him.

"We're the same way," the girl said, with flushed cheeks 
and a smile on her face.  "Glad to know that we're not the 
only ones like that here.  Hey, were you involved in the 
missions at all?  I was on the boats for a little while, 
and I didn't see you. . ."

"No," Xu said, although it wasn't strictly true.  She was 
responsible for saving Cid, but she didn't particularly 
care to broadcast the fact.  "No, I stayed at the Garden."

"Ahh." Laguna nodded.  "Well, actually, I'm here for 
business purposes."

Xu didn't believe it, not with his attitude.  But anyway. 
. ."Oh?  What's on your agenda?"

"I'm the President of Esthar," he began.  Xu's eyes 
widened and she took a step back.  This bumbling, common-
looking (well, cute, actually) man was president of that 
huge, technologically advanced place called Esthar?  This 
man ran the entire country?  Unbelievable!  And--he was 
one of the people who had helped out!  Flustered, Xu 
started babbling.  "I'm so sorry I didn't know you, 
President Laguna!  You see--we are all aware of what you 
have done for us, but I never did see a photo or a name or 
anything--Esthar news doesn't really come here that often-
-and--and I--it's a pleasure to meet you, sir!" She bowed 
deeply from the waist, her back ramrod straight.  Then she 
look up, flushed and embarrassed.  "You're the president 
of Esthar. . ."

"I know I don't much look the part," Laguna said, 
laughing, "and yes, Esthar used to be quite xenophobic, 
but anyway--we need a new military commander is all.  When 
the Lunar Cry came, the army attacked the monsters before 
they could overrun the entire place.  A lot of the army 
was destroyed, and many were trapped in the skytube for 
days. . .but anyway.  Cid said he could spare a few 
commanders from his group, and so did Martine."

"Martine's back in business?  That's good to hear," Xu 
interjected.  "No longer at Fisherman's Horizon?"

"Nope, he's back at Galbadia Garden, with his own agenda.  
He's a changed man, that Martine is.  Anyway.  Where was 
I?  We have enough of the original army left and a big 
enough population to keep the army going, but we don't 
really have that much leadership talent on our side.  I 
used to be in the army, but I was a soldier, not a 
commander.  So I talked to Cid, and he said that I could 
come over sometime and take my pick of talent."

Xu nodded.  "You chose a good time to come.  With all 
these people here, no one important will be missing."

"That's what Cid told me, too." Laguna looked over the 
crowd and caught sight of Cid with Edea.  "Good idea, I 
guess.  I just got here, though."

"Oh?"

"Well, we got the Ragnarok back from space, y'know.  So I 
tried to fly it."

"Did it crash?" Xu was becoming more amused by this man 
every moment.

"No.  It just needed some parts replaced, and it was 
fine." Laguna sighed.  "But it took us a bit of time, so I 
just got here now.  And Ellone too."

"Mm-hm." Xu nodded.  "Why do you want to fortify the army 
anyhow?  The battle is over with Galbadia.  The place is a 
wreck anyhow." She sounded rather sober.

"There will be future battles." Laguna sounded faraway and 
regretful, as though he were speaking of something he 
loathed yet respected.  "I always did and always will hate 
the principle of fighting and battle.  But as long as we 
humans exist on Earth, there will continue to be fighting 
and discord.  My hope is that we, well. . .we can settle 
it on the side of justice."

Xu nodded. She liked him, and his attitudes were right in 
line with hers.  The president didn't act like a pompous 
jerk, the way the Galbadian guy had done before he was 
killed.  No, Laguna was caring, he acted normal, and he 
was ready to be friendly.  No wonder Esthar had elected 
him.

"Besides, I need people in command under me.  This is an 
excuse to ship in new faces so that I'm not handling the 
whole place alone." Laguna looked harried.  "The place is 
big, and I know I screw up a lot.  I need people to help 
out."

Ellone poked him.  "You have Ward and Kiros."

"Aw, yes, but. . ."

Xu laughed.  "I understand.  Anyway, the ceremony's going 
to begin--I see Cid and Edea talking to the group.  You--
I--we might want to get closer if we want to see 
anything."

Agreeing, Laguna and Ellone followed Xu as she worked her 
way closer to the front of the ballroom.

A million chandelier lights and their little rainbow 
prisms shone on the party of six that stood in the front 
area of the ballroom.  They were dressed in casual 
clothes, yet easily recognizable to the crowd gathered 
there.  There was Quistis, her groupies whispered.  Squall 
was there, making just about every girl blush.  Rinoa was 
hanging on to Squall's arm and waving with the other.  
Irvine was making eyes at the girls, and Selphie just 
hopped from one foot to the other, trying to use up her 
excessive energy.

"To the family and friends of Balamb Garden, I bid you 
welcome," Cid said, his voice booming over the 
loudspeakers.  Heads turned towards him.  "Tonight is a 
special occasion, as we celebrate the accomplishments of 
those in our midst and those from other Gardens.  Please, 
a round of applause for these brave young men and women!"

That was hardly necessary, as applause drowned out much of 
his speech, and whatever there was after the first part.  
People jumped, clapped, stomped, and generally cheered 
until Xu thought blood would start coming out of her ears.  
Whistles shrill enough to shatter glass filled the air.

"And let us also welcome President Laguna Loire of Esthar, 
and the wonderful Ellone!"

The two made their way through the respectful crowd of 
people.  Xu smiled to see them up there, as they were 
clearly flustered and not used to all this attention.  Cid 
made more remarks, but Xu stopped listening.  It wasn't as 
if she could hear anything.

She peered through heads and watched Cid pin gold medals 
to everyone on the raised platform.  Squall and Laguna 
received special medals and extra words of praise.  Rinoa 
received a special medal as well, but it was from Edea and 
not on the behalf of Balamb Garden.  She smiled, watching 
them blush and try to shake off the applause and praise.

"Xu?" She heard Cid's voice.  "Darnit, didn't anyone tell 
Xu to be up here?  She's supposed to receive something 
too!"

Xu tried to hide behind a pillar.  She didn't mind the 
recognition.  She minded not having known she was supposed 
to be up there.

One of her female students hauled her out and gave her a 
good shove in the direction of the stage.  Sighing with 
resignation, Xu went up and bowed stiffly.  Laguna smiled 
at her.

"Miss Xu here saved my life during the rebellion at 
Garden," Cid continued.  "Without her, I would not be 
standing here, talking today." Wild cheers erupted.  Xu 
smiled a little and bowed.  She hated posturing before 
people.  Why couldn't Cid just say thank you in private?

She got a medal too, and a warm handshake from Cid.  
Laguna glanced at her, as if to say, why didn't you tell 
me this before?

The ceremony over, Xu stepped down with relief.  She 
wanted nothing more than to go back to her apartment and 
sleep.  She was terribly tired.  Besides, the next batch 
of cadets had the field exams in another month, and she 
was in charge of designing the field tests.  Since there 
were no current conflicts, they would have to settle for 
obstacle courses while fighting monsters in the forests of 
Balamb.  Well, there was that little civil war going on 
over in Rumie, but she wasn't going to touch that one. . 
.an obstacle course it would be.  She had to get to work.  
With those thoughts, she walked out of the ballroom, 
feeling rather dazed.

"Xu!  Xu!  Wait!" Squall was calling after her, and Laguna 
was by his side, looking rather puzzled.  But Xu did not 
hear, and she went back to her room.

***

"Alone at last."

Rinoa glomped Squall.

"H-hey now, don't go at it so. . .fast," Squall said 
awkwardly.  Rinoa's weight could send him tumbling from 
the balcony if she wasn't more careful when she ran at 
him.  But oh, well.  Squall put his arms around her and 
hugged her.

"Congratulations, Squall," Rinoa said as she drew back, 
playing with the medal now hanging on his chest.  The 
solid gold disk displayed a relief of Griever, the 
"ultimate" GF whom Squall had to fight at the last battle.  
"Well done back there." Images flashed through her mind, a 
slideshow of Squall's heroic actions in that hateful 
future.

"You too," Squall replied, looking at her medal, with the 
emblem of the Sorceress on it.  The same symbol had been 
passed down for generations.  "I'm glad we made it here."

Glomp.  "Of course you are." Squeeze.

"Rinoa, I. . .I'd like to breathe." Squall could barely 
say it, so strong was Rinoa's embrace.  Her muscles had 
gotten a lot stronger from their near-continuous battles, 
he thought vaguely.

"Sorry." She lessened it.  "Do you wanna go back in there 
and dance?"

"Nah." Squall still didn't know much dancing.  "You can.  
I won't be offended."

"It's no fun if it's not with you," Rinoa said with a 
little pout.  "I suppose I could dance with Seifer, but. . 
."

"Don't even think about it!" Squall sighed, giving in to 
Rinoa's wheedling.  "I thought you _wanted_ to be alone."

Rinoa shook him a little.  "I also want to dance. . ."

"All right, all right.  But you know I can't dance."

"Good enough for me.  Let's go!" And Rinoa dragged him 
out.

***

"The President of Esthar was right there!  And he was so 
cute too!" Two giggling SeeD girls were prowling around 
the dance floor, dodging waltzing couples as they 
attempted to locate Laguna.  "His name was Laguna Loire.  
Heck, I hope I get stationed at Esthar someday!" Her face 
took on a dreamy expression.  "It's worth the Lunar Cry to 
get a chance to see him directing the action!"

"You bet!" The second girl hugged herself.  "Didja see him 
up there, looking so embarrassed?  He's so modest for the 
president of a huge place like that!  I'd love to meet him 
and just chat in private.  Wow. . ." Her brown eyes went 
misty, as she swept back her short blond hair.  "I wonder 
if he'll even talk to us?  We're just soldiers without any 
other position."

The first girl, with brown hair and dark black eyes, 
smiled reassuringly.  "I hope so.  Besides, we can ask him 
about all the stuff that went on with the battle.  He's 
had first-hand experience."

"Look, there's Mr. Loire!" The first girl started jumping 
up and down in excitement when she spotted the dark 
ponytail of hair.  She closed her eyes and took a deep 
breath.  "Can you come with me when I go and just say hi?"

"Course!  I wanna talk to him too!" And so the two girls 
went quickly across the floor, pausing at the very last to 
check their pulses and breathing in front of the esteemed 
President Laguna Loire of Esthar.

He and Ellone were together, chatting with a smaller girl 
dressed in a yellow strapped dress.  Selphie Tilmitt waved 
at the two girls.  "Hi guys!  Have you met Sir Laguna?"

Laguna laughed.  "Sir?  I, um. . .don't know about that 
one."

"Oh, but come on!  It sounds so cool!" The first girl 
jumped in.  "I just wanted to say hi to you!  I'm so 
honored to meet you. . ." she wasn't exactly gushing, but 
she was sincerely admiring the president.  Laguna had to 
smile, while Ellone hid a smile with her hand.  Selphie 
looked slightly miffed.

"Yes, yes!" The second girl nodded, bobbing her head 
eagerly.  "What's Esthar like?  I heard it got closed off 
for seventeen years!  Is it a cool place?  What's it like 
being president of a huge country like that?"

"Well, um, it's hard to explain," Laguna started.  "Well, 
it's nice, I guess.  You've got a lot of responsibility, 
but it's also nice to be the president.  Esthar elections 
are every ten years.  I'm running again in about three."

"Oh, I'll be sure to vote for you!" The first girl smiled.  
"What's the voting age in Esthar?"

"Huh?  I don't really know.  We. . .I let others take care 
of that stuff." Laguna looked slightly embarrassed.  
Ellone cut in.  "Eighteen."

"Then we can both vote for you next year!  Can non-
citizens vote?"

"Er. . .I dunno."

Selphie, feeling more left out than ever, left in a huff.  
She kept taking looks back.  Sir Laguna. . .well, she 
could probably talk with him in the future.  Maybe she 
could get herself stationed at Esthar, along with the rest 
of her friends.  Wouldn't that be nice?

***

"That's right," Cid said.  In a corner of his office, Cid 
and Laguna were poring over profiles of the various 
officers and instructors of Balamb Garden.  Edea was in 
charge at the party.  SeeD parties tended to go all night, 
so Cid had no worried about interruptions.  "Yes, Shie was 
one of our earlier instructors.  She's considerably older 
than most."

"Hmm." Laguna pondered it.  He could use someone mature, 
with experience to back her up.  "What about him?"

"Matyas?  He's all right, but he's a lower-level 
instructor.  Don't know if you'd care to have him." Cid 
pushed that one aside and flipped around some more.  "You 
could have two, you know.  It's not as if I'm trying to 
get rid of them, now, but. . ."

"Of course." Laguna pulled another sheet towards him.  
"Quistis.  Ah, that's the girl up there.  Don't want to 
take her from you."

Cid laughed.  "Thank you.  What about this one?  Dabir.  
Hasn't been around that long, but showed himself to be 
very capable.  Also very self-controlled.  Look at this--
he worked as an aide to the former president of Timber the 
year before he enrolled.  I think he was fifteen then."

"Political experience!  That sounds good." The young man 
looked bright and honest in his photo.  "Hmm. . .hey, what 
about that young lady up there?  Xu, I think her name was?  
I wanted to talk to her, but she left early. . ."

"Xu!" Cid smiled broadly.  "Ah, that's right.  How could I 
have forgotten her?  Let's find her profile." He shifted a 
massive binder and went to the first-class Instructors 
list.  "She's first-class.  That's right with Quistis.  
Commander Squall is in mostly charge of the Garden now.  
He answers to me, but really, he's much more capable than 
I am.  He's at the Administrator level.  Xu is right below 
that." He opened the binder, a much thinner one--twenty 
instructors, ten male and ten female, were at this top 
echelon.

"Xu Lanhua. Instructor #64." Laguna looked at the profile.  
"Twenty-one years old. . .native of Lian?  Haven't heard 
of that place."

"It's a small nation on the Eastern Continent, to the far 
east of Esthar," Cid replied.  "Keep reading."

"Level: First Class.  Position: Instructor for elite 
cadets, science lecturer.  Previously held positions 
and/or education: studied at the Lian Academy starting at 
the age of eleven.  Transferred to Trabia Garden at 
twelve, and Balamb Garden at fourteen.  Became SeeD at 
seventeen, and became an instructor as nineteen.  
Indicated a preference for scientific research and 
strategic planning. . ." Laguna stared.  "Hmm, not bad."

Cid nodded.  "Yes, she was a wonderful addition to our 
ranks.  Armies around the world come to the Gardens, so we 
only train the best." Cid leaned back in his armchair and 
smiled.  "I suppose you'd like to hire Xu?"

"What's she like?" Laguna asked the question, although he 
had gotten to know her a little.

"Well. . .let's see.  Very polite, you'll find that out 
quickly.  Earns and gives respect.  Although I've seen her 
give tongue-lashings to students being expelled from 
Garden, she's nice almost all the time.  Very intelligent, 
obviously, and she's quite the businesslike person.  She's 
quite suited for the general position you mentioned, 
seeing as she made a good leader in her classes.  But I 
have to warn you: she is not easily distracted from her 
mission." Cid laughed.  "She likes to get everything, and 
I mean *everything*, in order before she enjoys herself.  
Very goal-oriented girl, you see."

"She is a good person?  Honorable, honest, and the like?"

Cid nodded.  "Very much so."

Laguna smiled.  "Then you will be short one teacher, sir."

***

"Irvine, I'm warning you!"

Quistis laughed as he started to recite more poetry at 
her.

"Enough, enough!" She slapped him on the chest, all the 
while laughing.  "What will Selphie think?"

"Selphie's mad!" The reply flew across the ballroom floor 
and slapped Irvine in the face.  Selphie jammed his 
beloved cowboy hat into his mouth.  "You done flirting 
yet?!"

"Mmph ght yr," came the eloquent response.  Irvine calmly 
took the hat out of his mouth.  "C'mon, Sefie. . ."

"Don't 'Sefie' me," Selphie snorted.  "Casanova.  Can I 
call you that?"

"Be my guest, Selphie."

"Good.  Goodnight, Quistis.  Drop dead, Casanova." Selphie 
stalked out, her boots clunking on the floor.  Stamp, 
stamp, and she was gone from sight.

"There, what did I tell you?" Quistis looked at Irvine 
with a severe gaze that only teachers can mimic.  "You 
better go talk to her before she makes it into the women's 
dorms.  You're staying here temporarily, until you go back 
to. . .wherever."

"Timber," Irvine said.  "I've got a cousin there, name of 
Danice.  If I pitch in with the housework, she'll let me 
stay, no problem."

"Not to another Garden?" Quistis looked surprised.  "What 
about your training?"

"Soon as Trabia is back up, I'm moving out and re-
enrolling there." Irvine sighed, and turned more serious.  
"This place is too big.  And I don't fit in.  I want to be 
a student, not a hero.  People go too easy on you, or they 
expect too much.  I don't want to live up to those kinds 
of expectations."

"Perhaps," Quistis agreed, now wondering about her own 
position.  "But we'll all miss you here.  Selphie doesn't 
want to transfer back to Trabia, you know.  If you want to 
be around her. . ."

Irvine frowned.  "After that last display, I'm not sure 
she wants me around."

"Hmm. . .good point." Quistis thought about it.  "That's 
Selphie for you.  Impulsive as always.  I'd suggest you 
ignore it.  It'll blow over by morning."

Irvine stared at the floor in deep contemplation.  "Maybe 
I better tell her sometime."

"That you like her 'in that way'?  Yes, you better, before 
someone else takes her from you." Quistis smirked. Boy, 
she thought to herself with a sinking heart, do I know the 
feeling. . .an image of Squall rose for a moment, but she 
squashed it down.

"Do you speak from experience?"

"That's my business." Quistis played with the flail around 
her waist.  "Anyhow, I do suggest that you go and talk to 
Selphie.  It's too late now.  If she went back to the 
dorms, she's in her room already.  Wait for her in the 
caf� first thing tomorrow morning, if you want a chance to 
talk to her."

"Sure thing.  Thanks, Quistis." Irvine bowed 
exaggeratedly, then he was gone.

Quistis stayed behind, frowning to herself. "Ah, yes.  
Alone as always." She signed.  The only person in the 
whole group who was unattached. . .

With that thought in mind, Quistis turned and glanced at 
the ballroom floor, where a new couple was dancing.  She 
smiled.

"Owww!  Don't step on my toes, Squall!"

"Can't help it!  I told you, I don't dance!" Squall fought 
to keep from falling as Rinoa pulled him through another 
reel.  "Ah, I'm so dizzy I could puke.  Rinoa, let go.  
Stop.  Now."

When he spoke in that tone, Rinoa quickly released. Squall 
stood still for a moment, sighing at last.

"Sorry," Rinoa said timidly.  "We--you need waltzing 
lessons."

"Not at this moment," Squall replied.  His head had 
started pounding, and he didn't want to be around this 
hot, milling crowd anymore.  He needed to be alone just 
for a little bit, to catch his breath and to unwind.

"Okay then.  Back on the balcony." Rinoa grabbed him.

Squall resigned himself.

***

"Rinoa, it's cold out." Squall shivered for a second as a 
chilling wind blew.  He shook his head a little, as a 
slight ache throbbed in his right temple.

"Yeah, so?  All that dancing warmed me up.  Rinoa hopped 
around to prove it.  Her cheeks were still flushed from 
the excitement.  She kissed Squall square on the lips.  He 
smiled at her, but pulled away, much to her 
disappointment.  "Besides. . .with me here, I'd hope 
you're not cold."

"I'm cold," Squall complained.

Rinoa stepped closer to him.  "It's not that cold, Squall.  
What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. . .it's just cold out." Squall sighed.  "And I'm 
all tired from the ceremony.  Crowds get to me like that.  
I couldn't even breathe in there."

"Stop whining, Squall. . .crowds get me all excited." 
Rinoa hugged herself.  Then she peered at him.  "But if 
you're tired and it's cold out, you should go back in.  I 
want you alive tomorrow, not a frozen ice cube.  I'd hate 
to have to cast a firaga on you." She patted him on the 
head.  "Sorry for making you go through all that." She 
hugged him.  "Warmer?"

"Yes," Squall said, a smile tugging at his lips.  Rinoa 
watched his face change from handsome to unbelievably 
gorgeous as he smiled at her.  "Anyway, the dancing was 
with you, so I'm not complaining as much as I would have."

Rinoa rolled her eyes.  "Yes, Mr. Antisocial."

"That's me."

She touched his arm, more gently this time.  "Let's go 
in."

***
Next Morning
***

"What do you MEAN, President Laguna hired me as--" Xu fell 
back into her bed, still in her nightgown.  Trust Cid to 
call her in her own room!  "I. . .I didn't apply for the 
position, sir!"

She listened a little longer.  "No, no. . .I--I know it's 
quite the honor, and that President Laguna is a kind man.  
It's just that I--I wanted a say in it and--oh, is that 
so?  TWO HOURS?  I can't pack in two hours!"

Yes, she probably could.  Xu had few possessions.  After 
her parents' death when she was four, she had lived with a 
rarely present aunt and a strict nanny.  To escape them, 
she applied for and made it into a boarding school, on a 
full scholarship.  Since then, she had mastered the art of 
living out of a bag.

"I--I see.  Yes, sir.  General Xu?  N-no, I don't think 
you need to call me that.  And Esthar is. . .no, please 
don't do that. . .right, sir.  Yes.  Understood.  Good-
bye."

After she heard the click, Xu slammed the telephone down 
so hard that that plastic cracked.

***

"Squall's sick?" Zell arched his eyebrows in surprise.  
"The Man of Steel?"

"Yes." Quistis frowned.  "Rinoa said that the party last 
night really got to him.  She said that he looked really 
worn out afterwards, and went back to the dorms by himself 
around midnight.  We were all here till three or so, 
including Rinoa.  That girl can sure dance. . ."

"Maybe he was already feeling sick before the party, and 
it just aggravated things," Selphie suggested.  "Either 
way, I feel kind of bad for him.  Is Dr. Kadowaki taking 
care of him?"

"It's not like he's on his deathbed, Selphie!" Rinoa 
frowned.  "And yes, she is.  She was in there this 
morning, Zell said, and gave him some medicine.  He'll be 
fine in a day or two."

"That's good to know.  Commander Squall would be mortified 
to be out longer than that," Selphie said with a giggle.

"I can see him staggering around on the bridge," Irvine 
put in, and they shared a good laugh.

"Xu!  Xu!" A voice shouted behind them.  The group turned 
and saw a stony-faced Xu, with a rolling luggage cart 
behind her.  A black footlocker was on it, and she carried 
a dark green duffel bag in the other hand.  Behind her was 
one of her students.  "Don't leave!"

Xu paused and looked back wearily.  "I said, it's not my 
choice." The girl stood still, while Xu grimly stalked 
onward.

"Xu?" Quistis touched her friend's arm.  "You're leaving?  
Cid would never fire you. . .did you find a better 
position?"

"No," Xu said glumly.  "One was found for me, courtesy of 
Headmaster Cid and President Laguna.  I'm to be his new 
general.  He stopped by Galbadia a few weeks ago, and 
Martine also gave him two male instructors." She kicked 
the ground with her boots.  Quistis saw that she was still 
wearing a SeeD instructor's uniform.  "It's kind of an 
order.  I don't want to leave Balamb Garden. . .but. . ." 
Quistis could see that Xu was fighting tears.

"I'm sorry," Quistis said softly.  She knew the pain of 
uprooting from a place one loved.  "Can't you visit?"

"I hope." Xu didn't look inclined to say much more.  "Is 
the Ragnarok anywhere around?  I'm supposed to go with him 
on that."

"Yes, it's right out the front gates.  Xu, I'm sorry.  
Please don't be so sad.  I'll get the other instructors to 
write you anyway."

Write me?  As if I had any friends to do that, Xu said 
with her eyes to Quistis.  Quistis understood in a flash, 
and was sorry she had said anything.

"Bye," Xu said with a soft smile.  "Where's Squall?  I was 
hoping to talk to him for a little bit."

"He's indisposed," Selphie said.

"Oh." Xu looked disappointed.  "Well, tell him that. . 
.that he did some very admirable things, and that I hope 
to hear of his accomplishments even in Esthar." She bowed 
to them all.  "Farewell."

"Don't say that," Quistis protested.

Xu made no reply, as she walked towards the gate and left.

I don't want to go.  Never put down any roots with anyone, 
never felt like I belonged anywhere.  First place I 
stayed, first place that accepted me, and first place I 
ever made a name for myself.  First place I had friends 
and not just competitors or people gawking at me.

First place I ever really thought of as my home.

It's not fair, Xu thought angrily, as she dragged her 
luggage up the inclined plane aboard the Ragnarok.  It's 
not fair that as soon as something happy comes my way, 
something has to take it away from me or I have to leave 
it.  Does Laguna even care?  Did Cid tell him "You can 
have her" as if I were a pet or something to be sold?

Does anyone *ever* care how I feel about things?

***

Squall made a mumbling noise and pulled the sheets tighter 
over him.  He was shivering all over.  The shirt and 
sweatpants he usually slept in did nothing to alleviate 
the nasty chills.

"Squall?" Rinoa was there, bent over his bed, looking 
concerned.  "Any better?"

He shook his head.  "Still feel sick." He added some 
mental curses.  The effort made his brain complain, and he 
coughed, hard and painfully, into his hands.  "Ugh. . .I 
wish it would just go away."

"I'm sorry." Rinoa dragged out two chairs, and Zell 
materialized next to her.  Both sat down.  "We're here to 
keep you company, until you feel like you need a little 
more rest."

"My head is killing me." Squall closed his eyes, trying to 
ignore the pulsating, burning sensation that ripped 
through his cranium constantly.

"Didn't the aspirin help?"

"No." Squall got to the point.  "I really want to sleep."

Rinoa and Zell exchanged looks.  "Okay.  Feel better, 
okay?  Drink lots of water. It'll bring the fever down.  
See ya." With that, they exited the room.

Squall smiled.  At least they cared.

Now if only his head would follow their esteemed example. 
. .

He turned over and tried to make the pillow feel halfway 
comfortable for his head.  The pain refused to abate.  
Pounding, throbbing, a wrenching pain was burning in him.  
Sleep he thought he could not, but he did.

As if something was tearing his insides out. . .

~~~

"My child."

A woman, tall and slender, with her long dark hair, 
rippling like shadows as they floated in the air and 
across the floor.  Her robes thin and spider-web-silk 
like, fluttering, gauzy, almost without substance, yet 
clinging to the woman's thin frame.  Her eyes two darkly 
glowing spheres, with a loving passion stored up in their 
lights.  Her face a delicate oval, pale and soft.  Her 
hands that stretched out, slim and fine, with a mother's 
gentle touch, reaching out for her child.

"My child, wake up."

Squall opened his eyes.  Oh, where was he?  He slept in a 
trundle bed, crudely carved from wood, its rough-hewn 
surface smoothed with use for many years.  The mattress 
was dark and lumpy.  A worn cotton comforter was all that 
covered his feverish body.  The bed squeaked softly in 
protest when he slowly sat up.

The room was tiny, small, and had walls and floor made of 
wood planks.  It was dark, frightfully dark, and Squall 
could see nothing.  The air was cold and still.  A sort of 
tension was humming softly in the atmosphere, telling 
Squall that someone else was present.  There was a single 
square window in the wall, from which evening light was 
spilling into the room.  The room was pitifully bare.  
There was a single table in a corner, with a half-burnt 
candle.  Tattered curtains were drawn to the sides of the 
glass.  There was no carpet, no clothes in a bundle.  
There was a single wooden chair by the bed, where Squall 
had been sleeping.  When he looked down, he saw no bed, 
but an old wooden cradle, broken to bits from its age.  
Squall could see that the wood was old and rotten.  Soiled 
blankets lay in a dirty pile.

Something twinkled in the air.  Something crystalline, 
sparkling, and pulsating.  Squall could feel the tension 
jumping, sparking in the room.  He didn't see it.

And then he saw her.

"Who are you?" The tall teenager carefully got out of the 
bed, throwing aside the sheets.  He searched for a 
gunblade, wondering whether in his condition he could 
fight something so ominous as this dark woman in front of 
him.  It was not there, and he could do nothing but watch 
the woman.

"Your cradle is gone, my child.  I am so sorry, I have 
none other." She spoke softly, quietly, with a sense of 
regret and powerlessness.  Squall heard despair in her 
pretty voice.  No harm, anything malevolent, was to be 
found in her musical speech.  There was no need to be 
saying what she spoke, but she said it simply, as though 
the words would do some good, perhaps comforting her.

"I don't need a cradle," Squall informed her.  "Look at 
me."

The woman didn't see him.  She saw someone else.  She 
looked at him with a loving gaze in her hazy and worn 
eyes.  "I am sorry, my child.  You can no longer rest.  
You look ill.  Please, I will help you. . ." She wrapped 
her soft, slender arms around Squall and gave him a 
genuine maternal hug.  "Your fever is grown worse, my dear 
son.  I am so sorry, that I have no medicine, and no money 
to buy it with."

Squall stared.  Her face, so pale and smooth, was fraught 
with lines of worry.  She looked at him, tears in her 
eyes.  "Do not die, my child.  There will be a hope for 
you, see, I will make you one with my own hands, though it 
costs me."

"No, please.  You don't need to." Squall backed away, 
bumped his head on the wall, and winced as he fell to his 
knees.

"I will go into my garden and gather you herbs," she 
continued, in her pitiful manner.  "I shall gather the 
wood and boil a broth, and then you will be all better, my 
beloved child." She looked at Squall.  "For these years I 
slept on the floor, for your sake, child.  I will have you 
live!  Please wait for me, and be here when I return. . ."

"I'm--I'm fine!" Squall jumped up and stared at the woman.  
He looked at himself, around him, under him, above him.  
There was no infant to whom the lady could have been 
speaking.

But at last the woman gave Squall a warm kiss on both 
cheeks, then the forehead.  She gathered her skirts and 
went out a wooden door.

Squall stared at himself.  Then he ran out the door, 
perhaps to see if he could help her.  The door opened, a 
blast of frozen air hit his face, with a flash of 
brilliant light, and then--

~~~

***

Xu sat, sullen and silent, throughout the duration of the 
trip.  Laguna was piloting it anyway, and Xu pretended to 
get lost on the very small aircraft.  Not very convincing, 
but she was beyond caring.

Therefore, she sat with her baggage for the whole trip.

The Regnarok was very nice.  Since she had escaped to it 
during the Ultimecia battle, she was vaguely familiar with 
it.  Laguna was a decent pilot, she thought to herself.  
Now if only he gave more thought to his hiring process.  
Such as giving advance warning, and giving the employee a 
choice in the matter.  "Rot this mission," she thought, 
not very nicely.  "First chance I get, I'll start a war 
with Balamb just so I can go back." Xu sulked in that 
fashion for the entire trip, with a mindset totally unlike 
her usual can-do approach.

She covered her trembling face with her hands.  What kind 
of a man _was_ Laguna?  Why didn't he even ask her about 
going?  Or was there some special reason that he wanted 
her or needed her there?  He had seemed to kind at the 
party.  Son gentle, with his eyes reflection something 
deeper within--

Xu flushed.  She hated Laguna at this moment; she had to 
remind herself of that.  Yet, she was his subordinate.  Xu 
was unswervingly obedient to her superiors.  Despite her 
current disfavor for Laguna, he hired her.  She earned her 
living from him.  Therefore, she should obey him.

It was amazing how things calmed down when reduced to bare 
logic, and emotion was suppressed.  Xu fell asleep, 
overcome by weariness.

***

It was a good hour before the Ragnarok, the fastest 
airship in history, finally crossed the ocean and landed 
on the Eastern Continent.  The lights and glassy 
infrastructure of Esthar appeared below them.  Xu could 
see it through a window in the luggage compartment.  From 
her times piloting the Garden over Esthar, she had seen 
its amazing beauty, but she'd never been inside the 
country.  It would definitely be interesting to have 
command over this place. . .

Xu shook herself.  Why was she thinking these thoughts?  
She hadn't asked to come here.

***

Squall muttered something as he drank a glass of water.  
Stupid dream had ended just as he had opened the door, and 
seen nothing except bright white light.  He woke with a 
worse headache than before.  To his surprise, his friends 
and the doctor were standing there, discussing him.  He 
pretended to be asleep, listening in on the conversation.

"Lung infection?" Rinoa looked surprised.  Dr. Kadowaki 
nodded.  "Pretty bad.  The throat culture was. . 
.unpleasant, I'll tell you."

"How'd he get so sick overnight?"

"I don't know," the doctor said with a shrug.  "If it gets 
worse, I suppose we'll have to take him to be hospital in 
Balamb.  We're not equipped for extensive medicine care 
here."

"No way Squall's that sick," Quistis objected.  "He beat 
Ultimecia!  He's strong, I tell you. . .maybe it's just a 
minor cold or something?"

"Maybe bronchitis," Dr. Kadowaki said with a shrug.  "All 
I'm saying is, you better stay away from him for a few 
days.  Let him recuperate in his dorm room, and I'll make 
the rounds to his room a few times a day, okay?  I can't 
have an epidemic raging through Garden."

"True." Selphie considered the point.  "Aww, poor Squall."

Rinoa looked sulky.  "And we were supposed to go out on a 
date in Balamb too. . .guess we'll have to cancel those 
plans."

"C'mon, Rinoa," Zell chided.  "Think of something besides 
your romance with him.  Besides, I doubt he would be that 
much fun if he's dead." He ignored Rinoa's glare.  "He's 
just worn out from all that fighting.  Let 'im have a 
rest, that's what I say." He looked around.  Everyone 
except Rinoa agreed.  That is, she said nothing, but her 
face plainly wished it wasn't so.

"Can't help it, Rinoa," Quistis said in a gentle tone.  
"The best thing you can do is to be with him for a bit, 
maybe bring him something, and just try to cheer him up.  
You were always good at that."

Rinoa brightened at that thought.  "Yeah!  That's what 
I'll do." She smiled happily and clapped her hands.  "I'm 
going to cook for him!  Isn't chicken soup good for that 
kind of thing?"

Selphie nodded.  "Yes it is.  Go for it.  Squall will 
appreciate it."

"Wait. . ." Rinoa frowned.  "Um. . .I don't know how to 
cook.  I never learned."  Quickly, Selphie grabbed her 
arm.  "That's okay!  I'll help you!"

Rinoa placated, the group disassembled to train, teach, 
treat, and cook.

When the group had left, Squall coughed violently, and 
grabbed the glass of water by his bed.  Dr. Kadowaki had 
been nice enough to let him remain in the dorms, although 
she promised that if his symptoms dragged on longer than a 
week, she would speedily transfer him into the infirmary.

He wondered about the dream.  Was it a flashback from his 
childhood?  No, his infancy was passed during the war, in 
a war-torn village called Tyre, which was nearly in 
Trabia.  There was no way it was that peaceful where he 
had grown up.  His mother had taken him on a refugee boat, 
attempting to escape the war.  They managed to get 
shipwrecked in Centra, instead of ending up in Galbadia.  
When his mother died, Squall was taken to the orphanage.  
Who was the father?  Squall hadn't known that.  He only 
knew what his dying mother had managed to gasp out to Edea 
and Cid before she expired, dead of starvation.  She had 
done her best to keep her baby boy alive.  Now she could 
do it no longer, and the job belonged to someone else.

Smiling, he remembered those times.  Edea had treated him 
as a special charge, for some reason he never found out.  
She liked him a lot, and talked to him.  She was severe to 
him if he did wrong, but there was a strange gentleness in 
her manner that seemed reserved for Squall.  Why?  Had she 
known that he would grow up to be the Commander of Garden?

Thinking made his head hurt more.  Squall downed the 
water, and got up to fill the glass again.  His lungs were 
scorched, what with the coughing.  Besides, fluids were 
good for him.  He didn't particularly feel like eating 
anything.

Sighing, he laid the water down on the stand and got back 
into bed.  When he lay down, the pounding in his head 
abated briefly, then went back to full force.  Squall 
could swear that the GF in his head was probably squirming 
in pain as well.  Sorry, Ifrit, he thought with a wry 
grin.  Can't help this one.  The aspirin hadn't helped 
anything at all.  He was supposed to be getting some 
antibiotics, just in case.  He knew enough to know that 
viruses were not harmed by those medicines, but there was 
enough progress in medicine to put some antiviral effect 
into the antibiotics.

The door opened a crack.  Was it the good doctor with the 
long-awaited medicine?  Squall sat up and squinted, trying 
to focus his blurred eyes.  He saw a tall, womanly figure 
carrying something. . .but she was holding a big metal 
something, not a paper bag of pills.

"Squall!" Rinoa's cheerful voice rang into the room.  
"Selphie and me made you some soup!" Well, Selphie's 
handiwork made up most of it, but Rinoa figured that 
Squall might enjoy it more if he thought that she'd made 
it.

"Rinoa?" Squall was pleased, if surprised.  His voice 
cracked, and he winced and put a hand to his throat.  
"Thanks.  But I'm not sure how much I can actually eat of 
that thing."

"That's okay, so long as you try some." Rinoa set the 
medium-sized pot down, and carefully spooned out some of 
the steaming contents into a white ceramic bowl.  It 
smelled quite nice.  "Here, Squall.  Give it a shot?"

"Sure." He pushed himself closer to Rinoa, taking a 
perverse pleasure in having her take care of him.  Heck, 
it felt good. . .like he had a mother, taking care of her 
sick child.  With that thought, he opened his mouth and 
let Rinoa feed him the soup.  Open mouth, receive, taste, 
swallow.

It was good.  A tad salty, but he liked it that way.  Some 
spicy herbs made it more fun.  The noodles were soft, so 
they didn't hurt his throat going down.  The chicken was 
soft and in small pieces.  Overall, a tasty concoction.  
If only he had more appetite.  "Hey, good job, Rinoa."

"Thanks!" She beamed.  "Selphie helped me with it.  She 
advised me on a lot of it, so you should thank her too, 
later."

"I will when I get better, or when she comes to visit," 
Squall promised.  "By the way, how'd you manage to get 
into the male dormitory?"

"Heroine's privilege," she said with a smirk.  Squall 
laughed, as the pain started to go away.  They were right.  
Laughter really was the best medicine to take.  Rinoa, 
glad to see his cheer, sat down at a chair by his bed.

Squall looked at her.  "I don't want you getting whatever 
I've got, Rinoa." He coughed up something sticky down his 
lungs.  "You sure you want to stick around like this?"

Rinoa grinned.  "I took a ton of zinc tablets." She stuck 
out her tongue.  "Dr. Kadowaki gave me the advice."

"I see." Squall smiled.  "Thanks for visiting."

"You getting lonely?" Rinoa playfully waggled a finger.  
"Don't tell me that the Lone Wolf of the Garden wanted 
company. . ."

Squall only made a face.  "Not funny, not right now."

"Okay." Rinoa folded her hands primly in her lap.  "So, 
guess I'll talk to you and keep you company.  Wanna hear 
some recent news?  Like, from this morning?"

"Sure." Squall hadn't paid attention to any announcements.  
Not like he ever did.  Maybe, he thought, it was time he 
started actually caring.

"Laguna came last night, you know.  Well, turns out he was 
looking for some staff at the Palace over in Esthar." 
Rinoa sat back like a storyteller.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, guess who he hired?" Rinoa waited for a reaction.

"You." Squall didn't dare think of the possibility.

"Nope." Rinoa swatted at him.  "Like I'd accept if you 
didn't come with me!"

Squall smiled.  "Quistis?  Zell?"

"No.  This person isn't in our group."

"Oh.  How would I know her?  Maybe that girl in the 
library that Zell likes?"

"Nah, not her."

"I give up," Squall sighed.  "Sorry.  My throat's too dry. 
. .I don't wanna talk too much."

"Then have some more soup." Rinoa started to spoon a 
little more into the bowl.  "Anyway, it's Xu.  Laguna had 
her out of Garden by six this morning, and Cid managed to 
wake up half the Garden with his announcement.  I guess he 
wanted to let us know before the rumor mill started 
cranking."

"Smart Cid.  And I don't feel like eating anything."

"Gonna puke it up?"

"No."

"Then it's good for you."

Squall sat up and went for the bowl, but Rinoa held it out 
of his reach.  She was taking a maternal pleasure in 
feeding him now.  "Anyhow, she wasn't too happy about it, 
Zell said."

"He saw her?"

"We all did.  We were kind of training early this morning. 
. .well, Zell called all our dorms and said that if we 
wanted any hot dogs, we'd better get up early.  Anyway, we 
saw Xu on her way out.  She looked really glum about.  
C'mon, swallow." Rinoa coaxed him.  "She said she didn't 
really want to leave, 'cause it was home to her or 
something like that.  Guess I understand.  She left on the 
Ragnarok.  She was gonna talk to you a little too, but we 
said that you were indisposed."

Squall forced his aching brain to take in the information.  
"Oh.  Huh, I feel bad for Xu." He knew now it felt to be 
yanked away from familiarity, from love, from a place of 
belonging.  "Is it a permanent position?"

"I would think so, unless Xu screws up big-time."

"Which she's unlikely to do," Squall thought.  "I see."

Rinoa sighed.  "Feel kind of bad for her.  I hope she does 
all right in Esthar.  She should like the authority she 
gets, right?"

Squall thought about it.  "It's not just the authority.  
She's also got more responsibility than she ever did 
before.  Esthar's a big place, and General is a big title.  
I'm sure she'll live up to it.  I just don't know how much 
she'll enjoy doing it.  It's not like being an 
instructor." He smiled at Rinoa.  "That's what Quistis 
told me, when I asked her that question."

"Ahh." Rinoa nodded and sighed.  "Well. . .we'll have to 
visit her sometime.  We can see her in her fancy-schmancy 
general's uniform.  Maybe she'll give us a tour of Esthar!  
The city was so much fun.  Too bad we had to fight while 
we were there."

*ZZZZZZZZZZ*

"Squall?" Rinoa looked down.

"Geez, he sure fell asleep fast." She left the soup on the 
table, patted his hands, and drew the blanket over him.  
"Sleep tight, and sweet dreams," she added before she left 
the room.

***

". . .and these will be your quarters." Laguna smiled.  
"This completes your tour.  Do you like it?"

Xu was completely, totally dazed.  She had been used to a 
Spartan existence.  How she had a whole 'suite' of rooms 
to herself?!  A meeting room to discuss plans--a meeting 
room for her guests---a HUGE (by her standards) bedroom 
with a lovely bed--a private bathroom--a library for 
books, material, maps, and such--and attendants.  She 
didn't know that a general had servants.

"Wow."

Laguna chuckled.  "Glad you like it.  Took me a while to 
get used to it too, after barely scraping by as a 
journalist." He looked at her.  "Did you ever read 'Timber 
Maniacs'?"

She nodded.  "Yes, now that I think of it!  Fairly recent 
magazine. . .you're still somewhat new to this job?"

"Just got elected this year.  Great birthday present, 
too." He smiled.  "Didn't know that it would pull me into 
that messy war, but still."

Xu nodded.  Yes. . ."I remember crying when. . .when I 
read about Raine." She looked down.  "That was her name?"

Laguna nodded.  "Yes.  There was Julia too, but she 
thought I was dead.  I was twenty-nine or so when I 
married Raine."

"Ah." She paused, something stinging at her eyes.  To live 
through this kind of tragedy. . .and yet still to be so 
content and successful in life.  What kind of person *was* 
this Laguna?

Laguna touched her gently.  "No crying now.  We never had 
any children. . .but Ellone more than made up for that 
fact.  She was my adopted niece, my ward, I suppose you 
would call it legally."

Xu nodded again.  "A sweet girl.  I thought she was your 
daughter."

"Haha!  With me at thirty-six, and she at twenty-one?" 
Laguna doubled over in laughter, while a mortified Xu 
thought over the implications.  "I'm sorry, President. . 
.Sir!  It wasn't meant to. . ."

"I know, I know." Laguna smiled at her.  "Would you like 
some time to unpack?  I know that Ward and Kiros kind of 
want you 'outfitted' properly for the job, whatever that's 
supposed to mean."

A heavyset man and a thinner one appeared behind Laguna.  
"He means, you need to go to the tailor's to get your 
measurements, 'cause there's a uniform issue.  That being, 
you need one." The thinner one nodded and extended a hand 
to Xu.  "My name's Kiros.  This here is Ward."

"Pleased to meet you both," Xu said with a deep bow.  Then 
she shook hands with Ward as well.

"Ah, here she comes." Laguna nodded.  He pointed to a 
woman standing in the hallway.  "The advisors say that you 
need a. . .formal wardrobe for your position, especially 
as we're having a small party to celebrate the additions 
to our staff.  It's, um, tonight.  Sorry for the short 
notice."

"Another party?!" Xu was incredulous.  No no no. . .she 
didn't want to go through another one.  "Well, okay."

"Hey," Kiros said as he slapped Xu on the back, "you're 
one of the guests of honor!  C'mon, it'll be fun.  If it 
gets too boring at those stuffed-shirt parties the way it 
always does, Ward and I can tell you tons of stupid Laguna 
stories.  Like about his leg and--"

"Enough, you two!" Laguna looked terribly embarrassed.  
"Xu needs to go to the tailor!" He motioned for her to 
follow the woman.

Smiling, Xu left to get a new wardrobe.

***

Laguna fumed while his two best friends laughed.

"Why did you say all those things to her?!"

"All what things, Laguna?" Kiros grinned.  "I didn't say a 
thing to insult you.  Just said that we had some stories 
stored up about you.  What's wrong with that?  I'm sure 
you could remember a few too.  Like that vase and--"

"Stop it already," Laguna muttered.  "Look, I know I've 
done stupid things, but you don't really have to flaunt 
them in front of my new general!"

"Ah, that's the general?  Good, maybe she'll get the army 
in good order."

"She's also scientifically inclined," Laguna added, glad 
to have changed the subject.  "So I thought we could, you 
know, replace Doc Odine with her. . .she's be a whole lot 
more humane than he is.  Don't need him around anymore."

"Uh-huh. . .so where will you dump the Mad Scientist of 
Esthar?  You're only going to inflict pain on other 
countries.  Not that I wouldn't mind being rid of Odine."

"Send him to Galbadia as punishment for both parts," 
Laguna promptly said.

"Maybe." Kiros laughed.

***

"Rinoa, Rinoa!"

Rinoa was sitting in the quad, enjoying the refreshing 
breeze.  It was a very nice day out.  Too bad she couldn't 
be sitting here with Squall by her side, just like they 
had done back at the orphanage. . .

She shivered.  Much as she hated to admit it, she probably 
had a better childhood than Squall or any of the others 
had known.  She had a father and a mother.  Perhaps they 
were distant, but they were there.  The others had been 
orphaned during a terrible war, brought up in an 
orphanage, with two parents spread over goodness knew how 
many children.  They had grown up without the comforts she 
had--she lived in a mansion, probably a palace by their 
standards.  They had grown up knowing fear.

Rinoa grew up being dissatisfied with her surroundings.  
It was really too bad that she never got along with her 
father. . .she knew that she was right to disagree with 
him, but perhaps she didn't have to be so ungrateful 
towards all he had done.  After all, he had told everyone 
to take care of Rinoa.

So he still loved her, with a father's endless love.

"That man--no, my father," she thought ruefully.  "We used 
to get along so well, until our opinions flew apart. . ."

She reached down and touched the first ring that hung on 
her necklace.  It was a gift from her father, on her 
sixteenth birthday.  Flowers and vines were carved on the 
solid silver band.  Rinoa had always loved flowers.

Mother.  Julia Heartilly. . .who was she?  Rinoa hardly 
remembered her mother, except that she had been a warm 
soul.  However, there were times, said Father, that Mother 
wasn't there mentally.  She didn't love him, he sometimes 
murmured to himself under his breath.

Rinoa couldn't understand it.  Why would Mother have 
married a man she didn't love?  She could never force 
herself to marry someone she only liked.  What were they 
thinking when they stepped up to that altar?

Smiling, Rinoa touched the other ring.  A replica, a 
fairly good one, of Squall's ring.  Griever was the name 
of the most powerful GF, the one Ultimecia had when they 
fought.  Rinoa shivered at the flashback, then focused on 
the present.  Squall. . .they'd only known each other for 
several months, but already, she was head-over-heels in 
love with him.  Oh. . .she didn't even know why!  He was 
such a jerk at the beginning, and she had to admit that 
only his good looks attracted her at that time.  But 
fellowship began to change him, and her heart went out to 
him so often. . .

"Squall. . .you've missed out on the best part of life." 
She had said those words to him, meaning them all the way.  
He had grown up a lonely child.  More than she could ever 
know.  More than anyone could ever know.  Always searching 
for someone he could cling to.  First Ellone, then. . 
.then who?  Surely not Rinoa.  He had stopped looking a 
long time ago.

"Poor Squall," Rinoa murmured to herself.  Then she 
thought of the others.

Her mind jumped to Seifer first.  Ah, the fearless rebel, 
the one no one controlled. . .the impetuous one.  The one 
she had gone out with until Squall came along--well, maybe 
not quite like that. . .or maybe it was?  Then there was 
Quistis.  The soldier and instructor, with her own fan 
club.  She was really so capable, Rinoa thought.  Why did 
they reject her as a leader at Garden?  Oh, spunky little 
Selphie.  Even Rinoa didn't have as much energy as the 
Tilmitt girl.  They were good friends.  Zell, the martial 
artist. . .he was the only one of them who found a happy 
family, or so it seemed.  None of the others even spoke of 
family.  Irvine. . .Rinoa didn't know what to think.  A 
womanizer, but caring for Selphie, the one he seemed to 
have settled on.

They had all grown up under such hardship, but flourished 
as hardy seeds do.  A good gardener can use hard soil to 
produce beautiful flowers.  Those were Cid and Edea, Rinoa 
thought.  The loving surrogate parents who brought up 
these wildflowers of children.

Then she sobered.  Seifer hadn't come back to Garden.  
Heck, she hadn't heard about him in the three months that 
they'd been back in Garden.  She had caught a glimpse of 
him from the flying Garden, on the way home.  He was 
fishing on the docks in Balamb.  Fujin and Raijin, the 
rest of "The Posse", were with him.

She almost wished that he could come back.  Would he ever?  
He was proud, and would be reluctant to admit a mistake.  
His temper probably couldn't stand the ribbing from every 
student in the Garden.  And would anyone accept him back, 
after all the trouble he had caused?

Her mind went to nearly a year ago.  How they had spent 
their summer together, sometimes visiting the Great Plains 
of Galbadia. . .sometimes nights out in Timber. . .just 
having fun.  Always.

Seifer wasn't a jerk to her.

What had made him that way?  Was it failing the SeeD exams 
three times?  Was it because Squall always overshadowed 
him, and his pride was so bruised he turned somewhere 
else?  Did Rinoa pacify something lurking within him?

Rinoa tried to ignore the thought of Seifer.  Instead, she 
listened to the pleasant chatter of students all around 
her.  Junior students were wondering if the rest of their 
education at Garden was going to be so eventful.  Older 
students were wondering what Cid and Edea were going to 
do.

Selphie was in one corner, the newly-elected Head of the 
Garden Committee--the social committee of the school.  
They were in charge of every festival and party that came 
around.

Everyone had such a deprived childhood; they want to make 
the best of whatever's left, Rinoa thought.  She thought 
of the passion for life everyone in her little group had.  
She loved them.  The experience they went through had 
knitted them close together as nothing else could.

She smiled.

Then her thoughts went back to Squall.  Oh dear, she 
thought.  Was he feeling any better?  Did Dr. Kadowaki 
give him effective medication?  What about their date?

She wanted so badly to have some fun with him.  That was 
all!  Just a night in Balamb, or perhaps sitting on the 
balcony together, watching the stars just like last night.  
When he had smiled at her, and then kissed her.  When she 
had felt that the eyes of the heavens were on them as 
their lips touched.

She ached to be with him again.  But she didn't want to 
make him uncomfortable.  He needed his rest, after all.

***

Xu turned this way and that, staring at herself in the 
full-length mirror.  Ignoring protests, she had gotten 
dressed herself.

She was in a full-blown evening gown, something she had 
never worn before.  It was sapphire-blue velvet, and was 
sleeveless and strapless.  A wide circle of gauze white 
flounce went around her shoulders, front, and back.  There 
was a cutaway skirt of white illusion starting at the 
waist.  Little rhinestones were scattered in the pale 
folds of the sheer fabric.  She wore matching heels.  Her 
hair was pulled back with silver clips.

The dress was beautiful.  But Xu didn't feel that she was.  
Therefore, she felt out of place in the dress, and did not 
like it.  She was posturing.  Xu did not belong in an 
evening gown.  She was a soldier and instructor, not some 
princess decked out for a night's dancing.

But nobody else was going to believe it.  Swallowing her 
annoyance, Xu observed herself in the mirror.  She looked 
decent, if out of place, in the dress.  She had to admit 
that the sewing went by very fast, though it was by hand.  
She shuddered to think that the woman was probably working 
on more clothes, like the general's uniform, while Xu was 
dancing that night.  Well, not like Xu would really be 
*dancing* or anything.  She could just stand and look like 
a general.

Thus decided, Xu took the long, transparent scarf that was 
supposed to go around her waist and arms, Ellone-style, 
and draped it around herself.  At least it felt nice and 
soft.

Time to par-tay, Xu thought grimly.

***

Evening came and went in Balamb.  Quistis spent it helping 
the instructors design the SeeD exams.  They had to look 
at Xu's notes--the ones she hadn't taken with her to 
Esthar.

Zell and Irvine spent it training, after eating hot dogs.  
Supposedly they had wreaked some havoc in the training 
center.

Selphie spent it with Rinoa, and finally coaxed her into 
joining the Garden Committee.  Rinoa was also wondering 
about her status as a member of Garden.  She was a 
sorceress in the making, but not a fighter.  Edea wanted 
her to stay and train, and Rinoa had finally agreed.  Her 
magical abilities might come in handy in the future.

Squall. . .Squall spent it in his room, hacking up his 
lungs, Quistis thought with a sigh.  Dr. Kadowaki had 
administered the medicine, and with Squall's constitution, 
he should be fine by the next day.  They all hoped.

Quistis felt a tad sorry for Rinoa as well.  They were 
finally getting around to enjoying some time together.  
They could pursue a relationship without worrying about a 
Blue Dragon getting in the way.  Of course, Rinoa playing 
nurse to Squall was rather cute.  Quistis felt a twinge of 
jealousy, remembering her fondness for her top student.  
Then she swallowed it.  Squall was in love with Rinoa, and 
she with him, she reminded herself.  No need to remember 
past emotions.  Besides, he's your student.

Not any longer, her mind reminded her, but Quistis shoved 
that thought out of the way.  If she wasn't going to do 
any productive thinking, then she might as well get back 
to work.

***

Xu sighed.  Her back killed from standing for so long, and 
her heels were murdering her in those high heels.  The 
dress, what with the bare shoulders and all, made her feel 
woefully undressed.  Besides, everyone was coming over to 
her, talking to the new General of Esthar.  She was the 
guest of honor, the star, the center of attention.

While she liked being in charge, Xu hated this kind of 
public affairs.  People paying homage made her nervous.  
She had absolutely no idea what to say.  Well, she said, 
"I'll do my best", but seeing as no wars were coming up, 
that was a rather useless statement.  Rumors flew that she 
was supposed to work in the laboratory a little as well.  
That suited her fine.  Xu loved science.  It was the part 
with everyone bowing and offering a handshake that 
unnerved her.  She was a figurehead, not a person.  She 
was "The General", not Xu Lanhua.

She had to admit that Esthar was a good place to work.  
People were generally intelligent and kind.  Laguna and 
his crew were doing their best to put everyone at ease.  
The citizens were dressed in evening clothes, not the 
night-robe sort of clothes they seemed to favor for 
ordinary days.

Now, if only she could get to her job, and away from this 
party.

Laguna came over, dressed in a tuxedo.  Xu nearly gasped.  
WOW, but he looked good in a tuxedo.  His long hair made 
him look. . .well. . .Xu had never been attracted to a man 
in her life.  And she wasn't to him, not in that way.  But 
he sure looked handsome.  Besides, he had given her some 
remarks she cherished.

"If anything is ever unsatisfactory, come to me.  Don't 
hesitate to speak your mind.  I used to be a journalist, 
you know.  If you don't agree with me, let m know.  
Something can always be worked out."

At least I'm working in a positive environment, Xu thought 
with a smile.  She turned to acknowledge two more people 
who were staring at her.  They left and she sighed.  
Laguna was waving from a distance, trying to get her 
attention.

"Ah, Xu!" He called to her.  "I need to have a talk with 
you about your immediate mission."

"Yes, sir." Xu bowed.

***

Squall yawned, pleased that most of his symptoms had 
disappeared.  Dr. Kadowaki's medicine had worked wonders.  
All that was left was a low fever and a slight shortness 
of breath, but he knew that those would go away in good 
time.

He had hardly eaten anything all day, except for the soup.  
He looked at his desk and saw that it was still there, 
courtesy of Rinoa.  Happily, he got out of bed and poured 
a little.  He drank it.  Not bad, he thought.  It was nice 
of her to go to all that trouble.

Alone in his room.  Squall liked that.  A loner by nature, 
although he had learned to enjoy company, Squall still 
liked being by himself best.  He got out of his bed and 
pushed open the windows.  The sky was a dark blue mantle, 
stretching above him.  Stars were glittering there again.

A meteor shower seemed to be going on.  Squall watched it, 
a smile lurking at his lips.  He had watched a meteor 
shower with Ellone once back at the orphanage.  Just like 
Irvine said, he always wanted Ellone to himself.  She was 
only a little older than himself. . .how many years older?  
Yes. . .two simple little children, innocent victims of a 
brutal war, standing in a ravaged land, forgot their 
impoverished surroundings to watch the heavens and the 
wonders contained there.

Squall watched the silver-lavender flames shoot from the 
sky, tiny tongues of celestial flame dancing in the dark 
sky.  Just as they had been, eleven years ago in that 
broken-down lighthouse by a stormy sea.

He loved stars.  Squall liked the rain and he liked the 
stars.  There was no real reason he could pinpoint.  Just 
the fact that he did.  He liked to stand outside on the 
stone ground and watch clear teardrops fall from the sky, 
or to watch twinkling dots in the velvety night sky.

"Libra," he thought.  "And there's Orion." The hunter 
reminded him a little of himself.  Reckless but proud, 
fighting to the end.  Yes, that was him all right.  He had 
always been that way.  From his sparse and unpleasant 
memories of his childhood, he remembered kicking Cid when 
he first arrived at the orphanage.  Was bullied by bossy 
little Quistis and went crying to Edea.  Fought with 
Seifer for bed privileges and everything else that there 
*was* to fight over.  Was so insensitive, even then, to 
Selphie that the cheerful little girl cried when little 
Squall didn't respond to her words.  Followed Ellone 
around with a puppy-dog crush kind of love that made him 
search for her for months after she left.

That was his life.  Rinoa had improved it, he thought with 
a faint smile.  She taught me to enjoy other people's 
company.  He had never felt attracted to any girl before.  
Rinoa was quite the first encounter, and she had him.

Stretching his arms a little, Squall gazed at the stars a 
little longer.  They twinkled, beckoning at him.

***

"Adel," Xu muttered angrily, slapping her thick sheaf of 
papers.  So that was it.  That was why they needed a new 
general who understood science.  Because Adel was thought 
to be defeated, but she was *living* on the Moon, wreaking 
havoc.  Another Lunar Cry was predicted to arrive shortly-
-in perhaps five weeks, in fact.  Xu was supposed to 
strengthen the army, and to see if something could be done 
about it.  Figure out what exactly called the monsters--
what was it about the Lunatic Pandora.  Then try to 
eliminate that property, eliminate the problem, and hire a 
few SeeDs to exterminate Adel once and for all.  A simple 
job, the way Laguna put it.  Such a straightforward job.

"Easier explained than done," she muttered under her 
breath.  Well, it beat Ultimecia returning.  Adel hadn't 
been that powerful anyway.  It was the research aspect of 
her job that bothered her.  Xu didn't mind putting on a 
lab coat and playing with some rock samples, but she had 
no desire to work alongside Odine.  Frankly, the man 
frightened her, with what she considered good reason.

Xu was back in her room, dressed in a simple white 
nightgown.  She had showered and washed her hair.  She 
threw herself into her queen-sized bed with the soft 
sheets and down pillows.  Besides, she could swear that 
the fabric was silk.  The bed was big enough for her to 
lay spread-eagled if she felt like it.  These were 
luxuries she had never experienced.

Hey, might as well get what she could out of a job like 
this.

She only wished that Cid had hired someone else.  Like 
Squall.  Come on, surely the Commander of the Garden was 
more fit for this kind of job.  He could banish Odine, 
destroy Lunatic Pandora by summoning Eden, and everyone 
would be happy.  Xu didn't want this job, never had wanted 
it, and never would desire it.

For Heaven's sake, she thought to herself wearily, I came 
to command armies.  Not to beat up a sorceress and mess 
with minerals and machines.  Ah, well.  At least I'm 
getting paid about ten times the salary of a Garden 
Instructor. . .

But she missed Garden with a deep, painful ache.  There 
was a hole in her heart.  Strange that a place would have 
such a hold on her, but it did.  She called Balamb Garden, 
not Esthar City, her home.  She didn't want to be here.  
She felt almost ludicrous--here she was, her first night, 
after a big extravaganza with her at its center, and she 
was homesick to the point of tears.

Xu turned off the lights, closed the door, and started to 
cry softly.


End of Chapter One

***

^_^ More coming. I've got plenty prepared.

---Irene

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