Hey S.P.M.! Thanks for continuing to c+c.
Im keeping my eye out for a post from you and will return
the favor. Outlook always makes my e-mails look nice
and pretty when I get them, and its hard to know until I post
how my chapters are going to look on the web.
Uh, I think I am now reminded of that famous Star Wars blooper where Han
Solo bragged that he had made the Kessel Run in only 5 parsecs (The mistake
in that being that parsecs are actually a unit of distance rather than of
time). My knowledge of racing whether foot, horse, or auto is slim but
isn't
a lap a circuit of the course rather than a unit of time? If I'm correct
you
might want to have Screw say something like, 'A driver like me could do it
in half the time that takes, etc., etc.'
Actually, I think I failed to explain the Turbine properly
here, as I was worried I'd do. The Turbine is a mammoth
basalt gear that surrounds the city and is constantly
spinning at a little over two hundred mph, ground relative
at the Inner wall. The city is circular and contained entirely
within, [except for a smaller 'colony' city outside, Lanz Island.]
The Turbine has two high walls, separated by maybe
a half mile of space, and connected by five giant 'spokes',
equally high rock walls. Two concentric circles, both
larger than the city itself, rotating by huge tracks of underground
machinery. I think this will become a lot clearer later on.
The Turbine race (not the practice track one) starts by
lowering the cars along metal gates down the front face
of one spoke, and dropping them onto the asphalt
speeding below. For this reason the cars must start out
going at least 220 mph, and even faster the farther out
from the inner wall they start. They then race within the
Turbine, bounded to either side by the inner and outer
walls, and to the front and back by the spoke they started
on and the next one up. Since the Turbine itself is speeding
right along, It takes several 'city-relative' laps around to
catch up with the next spoke. But if you drive really fast,
you can catch up with the next spoke in less time, and
consequently before the Turbine spokes have made
all those complete circuits of the city. It's like greyhounds
following the mechanical rabbit: if the rabbit always goes
the same basic speed, fast dogs could catch it with in a
few laps, while slower ones might take many more to
catch up. I hope this doesnt come accross as confusing
as it was to write.
The practice track in question though
is not moving, and winning is determined by running a
set number of laps in less time than your opponent,
like in any normal race..
Either Screw's kidding himself, or he's been away too long, or else there's
been sabotage (&, unless you're taking this story in a different direction
than I'd thought, I'm betting on the 3rd!). But in a high competition field
like racing, especially a form where 'dirty tricks' seem to have already
been sanctioned, I'm surprised that the possibility hasn't already occurred
to him.
Well, sabatoge was certainly his first idea, and the
other two you mentioned are things he doesnt want to
admit to himself either, but then Diago usually
doesnt let those kinds of things happen to his cars,
so Screw doesnt know. Maybe it is going in a
different direction...
Diago’s face popped up again and I could see he was pointing at my
hood. I raised my hands and mouthed the words, ‘what’s
happening?’
'What's'
BTW, it looks as though you may be having some formatting problems.
it's like a disease
Overall, both this one and chapter 3(My apologies for not getting to that
one) flowed nicely! I especially liked the way you handled the fight scene
and I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
- S.P.M.
thanks again for the feedback! I hope this helps.
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