Well, this is something I thought I would never, ever see -- Rakhal writing
a fic!

Bravely done, Sir Knight! I hope this is the first of many more to come! ^_^
(Like that one you were thinking about with the MKR/R5 crossover perhaps...)

In general, an amusing piece which I quite like.

Anyway, please see some more comments below ^_^

Cheers

Alex

It had been a fine week at the seaside and a happy party made their way
home to the Tendo Dojo at the end of it. Nabiki was in the lead, reaching
the front door first, Kasumi was close behind and, bringing up the rear,
Soun and Genma came, struggling with the bags.

-- I think this might sound better.

...was close behind, and bringing up the rear, struggling with the bags,
came
Soun and Genma.

"That is if Ranma is still living," Nabiki commented. "A week of Akane's
cooking, and the only service that Ranma may need will be the

mortician's!"

...will be that of a mortician's!

"So, how many holes do we need to repair then?" Nabiki commented, looking
around the house. Surprisingly there weren't that many new holes, far

Surprisingly,

"I don't know where that baka has got to. For the last couple of days he
seems to be avoiding me! How am I supposed to improve my cooking if he

...he seems to have been avoiding me! (past tense ^_^)

the Ucchan's a couple of times, and the Nekohanten once, but he doesn't

I think you can drop the 'the' in 'the Ucchan's' - it sounds a bit... odd.

"What's wrong, Ranma? What have you been up to?!" said Akane. "It can't
be anything good, or you wouldn't be scared!" If anything Ranma looked
more scared.

But if anything, Ranma looked even more scared.

Nabiki eventually broke the silence. "Saotome-'jisan, I think Akane's
cooking is as effective as a pit full of starving cats. Wouldn't you
agree?"

Giggle!



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