"That is if Ranma is still living," Nabiki commented. "A week of Akane's
cooking, and the only service that Ranma may need will be the

mortician's!"

...will be that of a mortician's!

Actually, the original is correct grammar, and this is not. 

"What's wrong, Ranma? What have you been up to?!" said Akane. "It can't
be anything good, or you wouldn't be scared!" If anything Ranma looked
more scared.

But if anything, Ranma looked even more scared.

Again, the original is correct, the correction is not.

Never begin a sentence with a conjunction (such as "and" or "but")



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