A  Not so average day in the life of Gosunkugi....

by Finmagik
Discalmer: The characters in this story are owned and
Created by Rumkio Takahashi

Rating: pg-13

wARNING: HUMOR

 ?Feh.? Was Gosunkugi?s only comment as he hit the
alarm clock?s snooze button again. He pulled the
pillow over his head and attempted to get some
sleep. Go back to those nice dreams. He closed his
eyes...

?Oh, I you?re just so wonderful!? Akane clung to his
arm. He smiled, he was a few inches taller then her
now.
?No, you?re wonderful.? He said they walked on through
a field of flowers.

?I?m glad I finally got rid of that other guy, that
jerk what was his name?? Akane asked.

?Oh, it doesn?t matter Darling. We can?t remember such
fools.? Gosunkugi smiled again.

?No I guess it doesn?t.? Akane smiled. ?Let?s kiss.?
She closed her eyes, he closed his, and their lips
were just about to touch when....

?HIKARU WAKE UP!? His mother. He removed the pillow
and sat up blinking. As she stood in the doorway. ?Oh,
good you?re up. I wouldn?t want
you to be late for school.?

 School, one of the reasons, he would like to go back
to sleep. Not that he was a bad student. No, he was
doing well enough. It was well his social life or
lack of it. The other students, didn?t like him
because he was different, he practiced magic, looked a
bit to disheveled and wasn?t a Bishenion. Ugh, school.
Well there was Akane She lit up his whole day. The
though of seeing her face, made him leap out of
bed...then he tripped on the sheets and fell flat on
his
face.

 It took him an hour to get dressed, eat breakfast,
get his stuff together and  was about to run a comb
through his hair, well he was about to then he looked
in
the mirror his collar was unbuttoned, he tried to
button it, but didn?t work, no buttons. Mother said
she?d sew them on but, they weren?t. He scowled at the
collar. First they didn?t have uniform in his size, so
he had to wear a size bigger, and then It fell apart!

 He got out the door with his mother calling: ?HAVE A
NICE DAY HIKI-CHAN!? Rather loudly. He hoped to
Kami-sama, that the thugs lounging on the
corner hadn?t...

?Well, hello there Hiki-chan!? One them said, smirking
and chuckling.  He looked around, five of them, much
taller and bulkier then he was closing in.

?Hey, there Hiki-chan, how about you give us you?re
money there.? One sneered.

?Or else...? Another thug, said pounding his fist into
his had.

?Ummmm money...? He knew this was the time to fight or
flee. Since he was out numbered and vastly out gunned.
He decided to flee. ?Here it is!? He
threw a few coins out and they scrambled to pick them
up. He ran.
?Come back, here, now!? One  called.

But he ran until breathless he was through the school
gates. And there was Akane! Oh, wow, that was amazing
luck! And she saw him! Yeah!

?Good morning Hikaru.? She said, it sent his heart a
fluttering. He?d have to say good morning back.
?Oh, umm Good-morn-ing.? He spat out.

?Yo, Gosunkugi.? He cringed at the sound of that
voice. Ranma Saotome! He snarled. An scowled and
Ranma, who didn?t see him scowling. So he kept
scowling head turned in Ranma?s direction until he
bumped into something hard. He stopped and looked up.

?Oh senpai Kuno, heh-heh Good morning.? He tittered
nervously.

?Gosunkugi, have you forgotten already our gentleman?s
deal?? Kuno said.

?Oh that! The plan to get Saotome,? He looked around.
He was unprepared totally. This was bad. ?Well, now
you see about that....Anou.... had
homework...and uh... stuff to do for my trying to be a
Shinto priest... you know...? Gosunkugi looked up.
Kuno was scowling and he looked angry as hell.

?FOOL! HOW DARE YOU BREAK OUR AGREEMENT!? Kuno
shouted. ?I SHALL SMITE THEE!? And Gosunkugi felt the
bokken hard against
his back, as it launched him through the air.

He landed on side. ?Where am I?? He asked himself.

?Well, well, if it isn?t Hiki-chan...? He heard from
above him. He had landed right in the middle of group.
As they closed in he realized there was on
escaping.

 It was a bit later when Gosunkugi, managed to crawl
back to the school, beaten up, bruised and bleeding.
He managed to stagger in his classroom. The
teacher looked up.?Gosunkugi, you?re late.?

?But, but you don?t understand I-I..?

?Their are no excuses, stand in the hall.?

Gosunkugi sighed, looking down in the buckets of water
he was holding. Another horrible start, to a horrible
day. He sighed.

 The rest of the day, wasn?t any better. He had a test
in one class, and forgot all the answers, just before
it! How, he had studied very hard? Why did these
things always happen to him?
 
 It was lunchtime, he sat alone as always. BUT there
was one bonus, he could watch Akane. He got out his
camera. And watched her eating lunch, clicking
pictures of her every step. Akane was so beautiful so
perfect. He mused. Now that Saotome was talking to
her, making her angry. He watched as she got up
leaving her lunch, to continue the argument. He
watched for a bit. Then he spotted Akane?s open soda
can. Her lips had touched it just a few minutes
before.
And if he took a sip-it would be  like...be like.. be
like. Kissing indirectly! He was so giddy, his hands
were shaking. He didn?t know if he could.

He took the can of soda and quickly took a large sip.
?Ha! HA! I did it! oh the pleasures of indirect
kissing...? He sighed.

?Ummm you know there was hornet fell in that soda can,
Gosunkugi.? Hiroshi interjecting interrupting his
moment of joy.

A hornet...oh A HORNET! NO wonder his throat was
hurting so much! He had to do something!
?AAAAAAHHH!!!!?  he screamed and ran around,
trying to find something to cool the burning. He knew
one person could help him and he ran off school
grounds. His throat hurt so much, as he ran through
the streets. Water he need to putt some water on it.
He found a jug of water, behind the Cat-cafe. He was
just about to splash on himself, when the waitress
called: ?Aiiyaaa! No touch that wa-?
It was to late h had splashed it on himself. Then
everything went black, to late.

 ~~~~~~
?Hey, wake up,? Gosunkugi heard. He looked around and
saw Doctor Tofu?s face. ?We put some salve on the
sting and gave you some medicine to make
the swelling go down.?

?Oh, thank you so much,? Gosunkugi said, in a voice
that was strangely high, all of sudden. ?Umm doctor
about my voice? Is it because of the sting??

?Well, you see Gosunkugi its actually...? Doctor Tofu
started.

?...You?re cursed boy.? Someone else ended in a harsh
voice. It was that shriveled  old woman from the
Cat-cafe.

?Cursed? How?? Gosunkugi asked, in the high strangled
sounding voice.

?Move you?re hands to you?re chest.? The old woman
said.
Gosunkugi did so, and suddenly his chest wasn?t the
same, there hadn?t been so much it before, it was like
he had breasts.. BREASTS! That meant... ?I?M
A GIRL!?

?Yes, the water you so foolishly splashed on yourself,
was water from spring of drowned girl. It was for my
Great-ganddaugther. But you
unwittingly squandered it.? She said.

?So I?m a girl now?!?

?No, only until you  get hot water on you then you
will return to being male, but cold water, will turn
you back into a male.? The old woman said.

?Hot water? Okay thank you. Doctor Tofu would you...?
Gosunkugi started.

?Don?t worry I?m already boiling some.? Doctor Tofu
said.

 ?Wait,? Gosunkugi looked at the clock on the wall.
?lunch is going to end any minute now, I have to get
back to school!? Then  rushed out the door.

~~~~
?Who is that?? Hiroshi asked Daisuke.

?Who do you mean??

?The new girl over there.?

?I don?t know, I?ve never seen her.?

?Ugh, look at that face, its hideous, yet I have this
strange feeling I?ve seen it before.?

?Face, who cares? Look at that body! Wow, she?s
stacked!?

?Why?s she in a boy?s uniform??

?I don?t know.?

 Gosunkugi, looked around. She knew they were talking
about her. Finding hot water had to be an imperative.
The janitor always kept a kettle on hand.
Upon finding it, everything would be back to normal,
Gosunkugi never though normal was so good. Then she
walked into someone. Senpai Kuno. This
could be trouble.

?Excuse me.? Gosunkugi mumbled.

 Kuno looked down at the person standing before him.
?Excuse me Ms., do I know you??

?No, I don?t think so.? She mumbled again, in that
soft voice.

?For some reason, you seem familiar, strange maiden.?
He said.

?I guess, I have that effect on people.? Gosunkugi
said. Moving away.

 Kuno watched.  What a strange shy girl. He thought.
She has such a plain face. But I find myself drawn to
her. So shy, so delicate, so demur and some
unexplainably dark charm. I must have her! He thought.

?Ugly girl! Could you holed you?re place!? He rushed
up to her. Then grasped her hand. ?You are new here
and unfamiliar with the twists and turns of
the hallways. I Tatewaki Kuno, feel it my solemn duty
as a gentlemen to guide you through the school!?

?No, t-t-that?s really all right. I?m sure I?ll find
my own way.? Gosunkugi, withdrew her hand, and said
walking away.

?Shy flower, you have stolen my heart, I must retrieve
it from you!? Kuno said, giving chase.

?No, I-I-I No!? Gosunkugi ran strangely incredibly.

?Aaah, the chase! What games she plays!? Kuno cried
out. ?This is exhilarating, modest little thing, how
she teases me so!? He ran after her.

 Gosunkugi stopped to catch her breath against an oak
tree. Kuno was gone, she had lost him. Now to find
that hot water and-
?Aaaah! So I?ve got you at last!? Kuno  appeared.

?No I-I-I...? Gosunkugi dodged as Kuno?s arms swept
in.

?Do not be so modest come and embrace love!? He said,
attempting another grab.

 Gosunkugi dodged again, and again but Kuno was
getting closer. The thought of Kuno?s groping hands,
made Gosunkugi wince. Kuno was so close.
Gosunkugi closed her eyes and braced for the worse.
Then there was nothing, expect a resounding POW!
Gosunkugi opened her eyes. Standing in front of
her was Akane. Her fist raised.
?That pervert Kuno, picking on girls who can?t even
defend themselves, Akane sighed. Then she turned
around. ?Oh, excuse me, my name is Akane Tendo
who are you??

Gosunkugi was speechless, Akane was speaking to her!
And she didn't recognize..?Uh uhh my-my Anou.. m-m-my
well, my name is H-h-h,? No she/he
couldn?t say Hikaru. ?H-Hi-Hi- Hikari, yeah that?s it,
Hikari.?

?Oh welcome to Furikan high school, why are you in a
boys uniform??

?W-w-well, they didn?t have girls uniforms in my
size.?

?Oh, that's to bad.?
The bell rang.
?Well, my next class is Gym, you want to come??

?Y-yeah sure.? Gosunkugi smiled nervously.

?Great!? Akane said, giving a friendly slap to her new
friend?s back. Gosunkugi stumbled forward, and
blushed.
 It was very hard watching the girls change for Gym,
and one of them was nice enough to lend a spare Gym
outfit.

?Is there something wrong with you?re nose Hikari??
Yuka asked. ?Why is it bleeding??

?Umm well, I guess its the humidity, I just well I..?
Gosunkugi blushed.

Gym class was really tough, it was tumbling and Akane
picked ?Hikari? as her spotter. Gosunkugi could hardly
keep the blood from pouring.

~~~~~~
?Come on Hikari, it was a hard work out, we have to
shower. You don?t want to all sweaty.? Akane said.

?Oh a shower well I couldn?t really..? Gosunkugi said.
 

?Trust me after a nice hot shower you?ll feel so much
better.?

 ?No, no I would feel so embarrassed and...?

?Oh, come on, we?re all girls here.?

If she only knew, Gosunkugi thought. the consequences
would be to great. But so far, there was no way out.
?Okay I didn?t want to admit this but..?

?Yes?? Akane said blinking, looking so innocent.

?...BATHING WITH OTHERS IS AGAINST MY RELIGION!?
Gosunkugi shouted. The biggest lie in the world. Would
they buy it?

?Oh, I?m so sorry I didn?t know.? Akane said.

?Well, its my religion, I know its  not a main-stream
one and stuff but well, you see. I?ll wait outside.?
Gosunkugi said and ran outside the Gym.

 Gosunkugi paced back and forth, what to do? What to
do? Suddenly a familiar voice said: ?Yo,? Gosunkugi
turned Ranma, would Ranma know? No
probably.. ?Gosunkugi.?

?R-R-ranma, how did you know?? Gosunkugi said.

?The falsetto voice, the body suit, what are you up to
Gosunkugi?? Ranma asked putting his hands on his hips.

?N-Nothing.? Gosunkugi replied.

?You can drop the voice now, and this dumb fake body
suit. The breasts don?t even look real, I bet their
foam or..? Ranma reached out and grabbed on
Gosunkugi?s breasts. His expression changed to shock.
?Their.... their real!? Ranma exclaimed.

?Yes I-? Gosunkugi didn?t get a chance to finish, that
statement. Kuno came charging up.

?SAOTOME HOW YOU HARM MY SHY FLOWER! I?LL-?  Ranma
booted Kuno away.
?So, how did it happen, you haven't been traveling to
China or nothing?? Ranma said.

?Well actually...? Gosunkugi explained exactly what
happened. Omitting that he drank the soda for an
indirect kiss with Akane.

Ranma stared at Gosunkugi. ?Well, I have some tips for
you. One, always carry an
umbrella when you see its raining, two NEVER  go into
a public bath and finally stay away from the old woman
who sprinkles water at her gate.?

?Okay.? Gosunkugi nodded.

?Now I bet you want to be guy again?? Ranma said.

?Hai, good thing I changed back into my school
uniform.? Gosunkugi said.

?Okay, now this is gonna be awfully hot.? Ranma
warned. As he pulled out a kettle.

Shortly after he changed back, he saw Akane coming
around the corner. Ranma smirked.
?Please don?t say anything Saotome, please keep
quiet.? Gosunkugi whispered.

?Okay.? Ranma said.

?Hello Guys,? Akane said. ?Have either of you seen a
girl in a boys uniform around, she kinda looked like
well, Gosunkugi.?

?W-w-wwell, ummmm you see A-a-a-a-a-Akane. That was my
cousin Hikari. Her parents are on a business trip and
she?s visiting us. But ummm there due
to come back shortly so she might not be around much.
In fact they come back today even.? Gosunkugi tittered
nervously.

?Oh well, tell her I said Hi, she?s a really nice
girl. Its to bad I wanted to see more of her.? Akane
said.

?Oh..Uhhh I will.? Gosunkugi said. Feh, she likes me
better as girl, oh what a horrible life. He thought.
But she likes me! His mind added with glee.

 The rest of the day, went by without incident. He was
starting to walk home. When he was met with Kuno.

?Konnichi wa, Kuno Senpai.? He said.

?Come, we need to get to My house!? Kuno grabbed him
by the collar.

?Why?? Gosunkugi asked.

?Its that damned Saotome, not only has he enslaved my
pigtailed goddess, and is engaged to Akane Tendo but I
spied him harassing my newest love that
strange, shy, ugly, girl, being harassed by him! Ugh!
Womanizer cretin! You have to help me beat him!? Kuno
said.

?Oh, okay.?  Gosunkugi shrugged.

?And also do my homework. It is the servants day off
and alas, It is even beyond my capilities.? Kuno
added.

 Gosunkugi sweat dropped.

~~~~
Gosunkugi set to work, getting the homework done, it
was a few grades higher up, but it seemed easy to him.
Finally he was finished. He went out to find
Kuno to tell him.
He spotted Kuno practicing his technique in the middle
of the courtyard. Gosunkugi ventured out. ?Kuno I-?
Then the sprinkler system went on.
Kuno turned around.
?MY SHY FLOWER YOU HAVE COME TO VISIT ME!? HE shouted.
?I knew you couldn?t resist me!?

?NO! I EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!? Gosunkugi screamed
and ran, searching in vain for some hot water, As Kuno
chased after laughing.

 Gosunkugi found a door, she ran in, she locked it
behind her. Heart pounding.

?Who exactly are you? And What are you doing in my
Gymnasium??
Another Familiar voice. Gosunkugi turned around.
Kodachi.

?I-I Anou...?

?Oh yes, How could I have forgotten. ?Kodachi said.
?Those fools of servants, had the nerve to take the
day off so, You must be the temporary
replacement, I must have hired.?

?Yes, that?s it.? Gosunkugi was getting a bad feeling
about this, Kodachi?s servant, for today the notion
was fear inducing.

?Oh, in that case you should get started
immediately...? Kodachi was trailing off, giving
orders, she had turned around. Gosunkugi quickly,
opened the
door a crack preparing to exit. Then saw Kuno looking
around cluelessly and shut the door tight.

?Did you understand all of that dolt?? Kodachi said.
?Hai, mistress.? Gosunkugi bowed. Anything had to be
better then Kuno.

 Almost anything, no wonder the servants needed a day
off! Being target practice for Kodachi, getting
paralyze powder used on you, and trying to get tat
gym equipment out, never being fast enough for her.

?That is enough of training for me today.? Kodachi
said, flicking her hair back. ?Don?t you agree...um
What was you?re name again? Oh yes Hikari.?

?Hai...mistress...? Gosunkugi panted.

Kodachi chuckled. That was the end of that.  Then
Gosunkugi, felt a ribbon wrapped around her ankles,
and she feel.

?Where are you going, you are not done yet.? Kodachi
said.

Gosunkugi sighed a she was dragged into the... the
bathroom ?Ummm mistress, I don?t think I can...?

?I hired you, to be my servant not talk back.? Kodachi
snarled. ?Now, could you reach back there and unzipped
my leotard, I can?t quite reach it.?

Gosunkugi gulped and nervously fumbled with the
zipper. Finally doing what she was told. But turned
away as Kodachi finished undressing. Gosunkugi
was bright red. And about to leave. When she heard.

?Hikari, hand me the wooden bucket, please.?

?Anouuu...?

?Oh, come now we are both women here.? Kodachi said.

Gosunkugi got the bucket, turning  handed to
her.Gosunkugi saw her, her hair was down, black
flowing over her shoulders. And the rest of her.....
Gosunkugi watched as she poured the cold water over
her head and briefly shook herself.
?Hand me the soap Hikari and washcloth.? Gosunkugi
watched totally absorbed in seeing her clean herself.
Gosunkugi handed her other various objects,
to wash with. As it was traditional to get cleaned off
before actually getting in the hot water. Hot water?
Uh-oh.
Gosunkugi watched as, Kodachi stepped up to the furo.
she dipped her toe in.
?Mmmmm this could be to hot, Hikari test it for it
me.?

?No. I can?t I-? Gosunkugi said stumbled around,
before being cut off by Kodachi.

?DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!? Kodachi said, backing
Gosunkugi, up to the furo, the tub of hot water. ?YOU
WILL TEST THE WATER!? She
pushed Gosunkugi in.

 Gosunkugi winced as the hot water, covered his body.
He finally poked his head, up and spit out mouth full
of water. Looking up to see Kodachi, whose
expression quickly changed from puzzlement to anger.

?Anou..you look Beautiful.? it wasn?t appropriate but
it was the first thing that popped in his head.

?GOSUNKUGI! HOW DARE YOU! SNEAKING IN HERE TO TO-TO-
HENTAI!? Kodachi shouted.

?Gomen nasai, Gomen, nasai.? Gosunkugi said as he
stepped out of the bath, He tripped on soap, and ran
into her, he found he wa clinging on her breast.
He turned bright red.

It was to late Kodachi was shouting Hentai and
throwing things at him.  He was chased out of the
bathroom, into the Gymnasium. Soon she had her
weapons. Kuno was a in their. When he saw his sister
wrapped in a towel, attacking Gosunkugi and shouting
Hentai. He knew what had happened and
grabbed his bokken and attacked Gosunkugi.

 Finally, somehow, Gosunkugi had lost the Kunos. he
got out of the Mansion and now was limping home. What
a day. It was dark already, dinner would be
over and now he felt something for Kodachi, he was
becoming like Kuno no! Then as if it couldn?t get any
worse it began to rain.

~fin/Owari~


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