As always a masterful piece of story telling. A great
read.

One _tiny_ nit to pick.
There are more guns in Japan than most people realize,
but they are primarily a "knife" culture. Much more
likely to use a blade . . .knife, sword, cross-bow
than a gun, and more likely to have a long-gun than a
pistol. NOT impossible, but for what you are doing...
seems to be a rather middle-class man in a fit of
anger I'd go with a blade. Just change sound of shot
to a scream and the rest can stay as is.

HOWEVER, it's not impossible for the man to have a
pistol. OTOH, a knife or sword is even more likely to
do the kind of damage you're describing, especially if
the Bad Guy does (as usually happens) multiple
strikes. 

As I said a wonderful read and this is a minor point.
I didn't find it at all dark.

If you wanted DARK, you would have used the recent
case in Japan of a 14 year old boy cutting off an 11
year old friends head and playing with it  before
leaving it on the street with a note attached,
taunting the police. Now THAT'S dark.
http://www.theage.com.au/special/asiaonline/japan/rs050797.htm




=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
 And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus

"A man is a small thing, and the night is large 
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany

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