Nicely done.  One nit...

"Robert Haynie Jr." wrote:

 Bell nodded and smiled.  "I'm sure you'll do very well, Urd-chan.
But don't you think the firearms are a bit... excessive?"

 Urd blushed, and sheepishly set the twinned Uzi's down.  "Sorry.
Got a little carried away there."

"You haven't seen their file." would seem a more likely response in
this situation.

Robert Haynie, who really really wants to find 
a working technique for making beer out
of cheese.  Why?  Why ask why?  I just want
to...

Use cheese to help fertilize grain.  Turn grain into beer by the usual
means.  (Cheese, by itself, just doesn't ferment in the right ways.)
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