Continuing with the rewrite of my first Ranma fanfic, this chapter has
been rewritten to solve some characterization issues from the original
version, and to use a more mature writing style (who says a few years of
college doesn't change a person?).
Special thanks to Ginrai, Jeremy F., Darth Wader, and Jordan Malokofsky
for their astute comments and moral support. I could have done it
without you guys... but it wouldn't have turned out nearly as well as it
did. ^_^

Ranma 1/2 -- A Deadly Choice
Chapter 2: Naresome No Shiatsu: The Massage of Newfound Love

    It was, for the most part, a quiet evening in the Nerima District,
the Ranma-oriented action in the market district notwithstanding.
However, not far from that location, the quiet took on an eerie air in a
very dark room. The only light source for the gaunt figure within was
the strange brew simmering within the large black cauldron in the center
of the room. The glowing brew partially illuminated the figure's pale,
withered face, leaving the rest in ghostly shadow that gave him quite a
haggard appearance as he hunkered over the cauldron, stirring the
concoction with a wooden spoon.
    He stopped stirring just long enough to let the surface of the
mixture settle, reflecting his face like a mirror. He cackled softly at
the sight. "It's beautiful..." he whispered to himself. "Finally, I have
the means to achieve my greatest dream! My patience has paid off at
last, and now, this..." He raised the spoon from the cauldron and let
the thin liquid slosh around in the shallow bowl. "My greatest recipe
yet!" He lifted the bowl to his face and tilted the brew into his mouth,
rolling it on his tongue before swallowing it. He breathed deeply
through his nose, letting the brew slide down his throat, warming his
entire body as it went. Finally, when the sensation ended, he smacked
his lips decisively. "Needs more salt."
    As he groped on the kitchen counter for the salt shaker, the
overhead fluorescent light flickered to life. "Oh, good," said Hikaru
Gosunkugi. "The generator's back on. I was worried I wouldn't be able to
read my new book tonight." He let his eyes fall on the brown
paper-wrapped package on the counter and sighed happily. "The book that
will forever change my life is finally here... and the perfect dinner to
celebrate the occasion!" He casually turned the salt shaker over the
soup, so engrossed in his fantasy that he failed to see the top fall
off, spilling the entire shakerful into the cauldron. "Just imagine, a
dream come true for only three thousand yen, plus shipping and handling.
What a bargain!" He eagerly spooned up another sip of the broth,
wrinkling his face at the taste. "A bit too much salt, that..."
*************************************************
    Ranma had spent the entire trip back to the Tendo Dojo deep in
thought, but the events of the day were no clearer to her than they had
been when she had first experienced them. "Okay," she said to herself,
taking inventory once again. "First, Ryoga goes panty-snatching and lies
about it to Akane, and she believes him over me - but that's nothing
unusual. Then Shampoo tries to teach Akane how to be a better fiancee...
and then I wake up in an alley, and since then, I've been acting weird
myself!" She shook her head. "I'M not the one acting weird. Everyone
else is just as weird as I am today." She snapped her fingers. "Maybe
whatever happened to me also happened to Ryoga and Shampoo! But then
they would have said something... or would they?"
    She found herself at the gate. "Oh well. No sense trying to puzzle
it out on an empty stomach. I hope Kasumi's cooking tonight. Knowing
Akane, she might try to make me dinner as an apology or something..."
She trotted up the walk and opened the front door, sniffing the air
carefully. "That's Kasumi's cooking, all right," she decided. "The
smell's not bad enough to make my eyes water."
    The dining room door slid open, and Akane stepped out carrying a
teakettle. "Welcome home, Ranma," she said coldly, handing over the
kettle.
    "Well, gee, what's with you?" asked Ranma, as she changed back to
her male form.
    "What do you think?" Akane shot back. "You were kissing Kodachi
Kuno!"
    "Well, she's the one who was doing the kissing! You know I have no
interest in Kodachi! I was trying to get away from her the whole time!"
    "Yeah, that's just what it looked like," retorted Akane. She opened
her mouth to give Ranma a real piece of her mind... then froze. That HAD
been what it looked like, hadn't it? She'd been pretty mad at the time,
but looking back on the situation calmly, it had been Kodachi who
initiated the kiss, and Ranma had been trying to escape. And yet Akane
had spoken without thinking, and accused him of something that probably
wasn't his fault... Was that what Ranma had been talking about in Ukyo's
new restaurant? Never seeing his side of anything before starting
fights?
    Ranma waved his hand in front of her face. "You okay, Akane? This is
the part where you yell at me and feel a lot better, remember?"
    Akane stared at Ranma, stunned. He was totally serious! He actually
thought yelling at him would make her feel better... and he was willing
to take the abuse to get her out of her bad mood! The anger melted away,
and Akane hung her head in shame. "Ranma, I'm sorry. I should have
believed you before." There! A sincere apology, and she wasn't angry at
all. Maybe this would patch things over with Ranma once and for all.
    Ranma blinked in surprise. "Akane... you feeling okay? Don't tell me
they got to you too."
    "Who got to me?" asked Akane.
    "Never mind," said Ranma. "So, what brought this on?"
    "I've been thinking about what you said this afternoon..." she
began, trying to arrange her thoughts before she spoke. "You said that I
should try to see things from your point of view when I got angry
instead of starting fights..."
    "Yeah, that was pretty weird, wasn't it?" Ranma laughed aloud and
rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Imagine, you thinking things
through instead of getting angry! Like THAT would ever happen!" He
handed the teakettle back to Akane and doubled over with laughter. "That
was a good one..."
    Akane's jaw dropped. Here she was, trying to be polite, and Ranma
thought it was a joke? His cruel laughter echoed in her ears until the
anger she'd been suppressing abruptly burst all at once, and she slammed
the teakettle onto Ranma's head. "You insensitive jerk! That's the last
time I try to be nice to you!" Despite the ferocity of her outburst,
Akane felt tears welling up in her eyes and quickly ran up the stairs to
her room. Once she was wrapped in the privacy behind the closed door,
she let herself cry freely.
    "What did I do wrong this time?" she asked herself. "Every time I
try to do something nice for Ranma, he twists it around and uses it to
hurt me!"
    "Maybe you're the one who reacts poorly to his kindness," countered
a soft voice from the closet.
    Akane quickly wiped her eyes dry. "Who's there?" she demanded.
    "Don't be mad," replied the voice. "I thought this was the monorail
station."
    "Ryoga?" Akane opened the closet door to see the lost boy hiding
behind the dresses. "What are you doing in there?" After a short pause,
she added, "Wait, never mind."
    "I'm sorry, Akane," said Ryoga. "I couldn't help hearing that you're
having problems relating to Ranma."
    "Do you know something about it?" Akane asked hopefully.
    "I think it's a psychological problem," replied Ryoga. "I've heard
that before Ranma and I showed up, the boys at Furinkan were always
trying to bully you into going out with them."
    "That's right," said Akane, brushing a stray droplet from her cheek.
    "Well, perhaps that experience affected your emotions," diagnosed
Ryoga. "Maybe, because all of your interactions with males were of a
violent nature, that's the only way you know how to respond to Ranma's
feelings for you."
    Akane gasped. "No way! Do you really think that could be the
problem?"
    "It's a possibility," replied Ryoga. Actually, he'd made the entire
story up with the help of some of those free pamphlets in the office of
a friendly psychologist he'd stumbled across a few weeks before, but if
it sounded plausible enough to Akane, who cared whether or not it was
true?
    Akane sat heavily on her bed. "What can I do, Ryoga? I want so badly
to tell Ranma how I feel, but every time I get close to him... it's like
I'm a completely different person! A person who can't stand to be around
him..."
    She drew in a sharp breath as Ryoga sat on the bed next to her and
put his arm behind her back, resting his hand on her shoulder. "You need
to loosen up, Akane. Think about something else for a while. Take a load
off and relax."
    "I -" She reached up and lifted his hand away. "I don't think I can
just forget about it."
    "I understand," Ryoga said considerately, turning his head away.
"Then perhaps I can assist you."
    "What do you mean?" asked Akane.
    Ryoga flexed his fingers. "I happen to know a very relaxing form of
massage therapy that I learned from an old master who used to live in
the mountains. It'll help you get rid of some of your stress."
    "Massage therapy...?" Akane looked down at her clothes. "But I'm
wearing a dress!"
    "A dress?" repeated Ryoga. "Why is that - oh, right. You need to
take your shirt off for the massage..." He hastily stood up and walked
to the door. "I'll step outside. Let me know when you're ready."
    "Ryoga, wait!" called Akane. "I'm not... I mean, I don't really..."
    "What's wrong, Akane?" Ryoga asked, while Akane was still hesitant
to decline. "There's no reason to be ashamed. It'll be just like a
massage parlor, except I won't charge you."
    "I'm not embarrassed," said Akane. "It's just that... you and me,
alone in the room..."
    "You don't trust me," Ryoga said, making it sound more like a
question.
    "No, no!" Akane protested. "That's not it either!"
    "Then... I don't understand." Ryoga forced a tear to his eye. "I
want to do everything I can to help you feel better," he said, staring
her in the eye. If there was one technique that never failed to win
Akane over, it was appealing to her sympathy.
    "Well, I appreciate the thought..." Akane began.
    "I just want you to relax, and you can't do that when you're so
tense," Ryoga interrupted, going for the strong finish. "I always find
that a massage helps me wind down after a difficult ordeal, don't you?"
He placed his hand on Akane's shoulder and rubbed gently, stimulating
the key pressure points that Happosai had shown him.
    Akane raised her hand to push Ryoga's encroaching hand away, but the
sensations in her shoulder were so warm and wonderful, instantly
alleviating pains she hadn't even been aware of. She sighed
euphorically. "That does feel good," she admitted. "I think you're
right. A massage will help me relax."
    "I'm glad I can help," said Ryoga, much relieved. "I'll just leave
the room so you can strip down."
    "Don't go anywhere," warned Akane. "Keep your hand on the door, got
it?"
    Ryoga nodded. "Don't worry. I don't plan to get lost right outside
your bedroom door." He stepped out of the room and waited while Akane
removed her dress. Even though he was unable to see, Ryoga felt the
blood rushing to his nose and quickly clamped down on his thoughts. Just
being in the same room as an unclothed girl whom he loved didn't make
him a pervert...
    "Okay, I'm ready," called Akane from within the bedroom. Ryoga slid
the door open and stepped back into the room. Akane lay on her stomach
on the bed with her eyes closed, her lower half covered with the
blanket. Her dress and brassiere were on the floor beside the bed,
leaving her torso completely bare.
    Ryoga wiped the spot of blood from his upper lip, cracked his
knuckles, then climbed onto the bed and straddled Akane's waist. "Just
relax and breathe slowly," he advised her as he set to work. He began
with a light, simple massage, working Akane's tense muscles with his
fingertips and knuckles, trying not to pay too much attention to the
feel of her naked flesh. Once she was relaxed enough, it would be time.
Time for Happosai's special technique... the Naresome no Shiatsu.
*************************************************
    A loud metallic clang resounded through the kitchen, distracting
Kasumi from her cooking. She turned around to see a figure stumbling
across the room with an inverted teakettle covering its head. As it took
a step forward, the teakettle smacked into a wall, producing a clang
identical to the first.
    Kasumi sighed. "Oh, Ranma... whatever shall we do with you?" She put
her utensils down and grabbed the teakettle in both hands. "How does she
manage to make your entire head fit into the tiny opening on top of the
kettle?"
    "Lots of force," replied Ranma. "Strength only a tomboy could
possess."
    "She must have been very upset to manage it," observed Kasumi.
    "As usual, Kasumi, you are the master of the understatement."
    "You seem somewhat bitter," said Kasumi, concerned.
    "I have a teakettle on my head. Of course I'm bitter!" Ranma lent
his own strength to the effort to dislodge the teakettle, quickly
removing it with a great deal of velocity. Both he and Kasumi flew to
opposite ends of the kitchen from the force. Kasumi despondently set the
misshapen kettle on the counter, shaking her head at it sadly.
    "This erratic relationship simply isn't healthy for our cookware,"
she told Ranma. "The manufacturers have added a new clause to their
warranties, voiding them if the object being covered comes within a
hundred yards of this house."
    Ranma wrung the last of the water from his pigtail. "Yeah, so? What
do you want me to do about it? Impress them with my power of attorney?"
    "Why don't you try being nicer to Akane?" suggested Kasumi.
    "That jerk doesn't deserve 'nice'," said Ranma. "Every time I try to
be nice to her, she turns it right around and throws it back in my
face."
    "Have you tried apologizing to her?" asked Kasumi.
    Ranma snorted. "Yeah, just this afternoon. She thought I was sick."
He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe I am."
    "When I saw her this afternoon, she seemed very concerned for you,"
Kasumi informed him. "She was worried because of something that happened
to you earlier today."
    "Her? Worried about me?" Ranma tossed his pigtail defiantly.
"Nothin' doin'. If she's so concerned, why don't she tell me herself?"
    "Because," said Nabiki from the kitchen doorway, "she's afraid of
the rumors."
    Ranma turned to face Nabiki, who ignored him in favor of the ice
cream cone she was licking. "When did you get here?"
    "Been here long enough to know what's going on," replied Nabiki, the
words coming out perfectly clearly even as she continued licking.
    "Oh dear," said Kasumi, picking up on Nabiki's true intent. "What
sort of rumors?"
    "Well," replied Nabiki, "there've been plenty of times when Akane
beat up a boy and carried him to Doctor Tofu's to get treated. And every
time, the kids at school would start a rumor that the two of them had
done a lot more on their little excursion than just going to the
doctor's."
    "Then the students at Furinkan think Akane is a -"
    Nabiki finally set the cone aside. "No, Kasumi. Most of them don't
believe the rumors, most of the time. But with Ranma, there's at least
some truth to the rumored relationship."
    "Says who?" asked Ranma darkly.
    "Well, you ARE engaged," Nabiki pointed out. "Of course, I'm pretty
sure the rumor that Akane is two months pregnant with your child isn't
ENTIRELY true..."
    "WHAT WAS THAT?" shouted Ranma, nearly strangling Nabiki in rage.
    She lightly pushed him away. "It's not as bad as the rumor that
she's already had your child, and you sent it to an orphanage in
Yokohama to keep it a secret." Nabiki took another lick of her ice
cream. "I don't think anyone really believes that one, though," she
speculated.
    "Then what you're saying," observed Kasumi, "is that Akane's
subconsciously afraid that if she starts to show genuine concern over
Ranma, the rumors will become even worse!"
    "Bingo," said Nabiki, returning her full concentration to her
melting dessert.
    "And since when have you cared about that?" asked Ranma.
    "Rumors are bad for business," replied Nabiki. "The more people
think they know the truth, the less they're willing to pay for it."
    "Shoulda known it was all about money," said Ranma.
    Kasumi put her hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Ranma, Akane is very upset
right now, regardless of the rumors. Don't you think you should have a
talk with her?"
    "A talk?" Ranma asked skeptically. "I don't care how she's feeling;
nothing I could say or do is gonna make her any less mad at me."
    "Perhaps she does blame you," agreed Kasumi. "But a sincere apology
would help to clear the air between you, don't you think?"
    Nabiki nibbled at the cone. "I'd give it odds of fifty to one
against."
    Kasumi sighed. "Why don't you stay downstairs for a while and
organize your thoughts?"
    "Sure," Ranma conceded. "What have I got to lose?"
*************************************************
    Ryoga continued to knead the sinews in Akane's back, feeling the
muscles loosen beneath his fingertips as he worked. Akane's breathing
grew slower and deeper as the calming massage took effect. "Oh, this is
so good," she murmured. "It feels incredible."
    "The best part is yet to come," Ryoga assured her. However, there
was a precaution to take first. Continuing to rub Akane's neck with one
hand, he deftly untied his bandana and secured it under his nose. What
he was about to do would surely result in a nosebleed...
    "You know, Ryoga," Akane mused as the rubdown continued, "there's
something... different about you tonight."
    Ryoga briefly paused in his work. "Hmm? How so?"
    Akane breathed deeply and sighed. "Oh, I don't know. You're... like
a whole different person tonight. A lot more confident, for one thing."
    "It's probably just your nerves," Ryoga assured her. "When you're
tense, things seem different."
    "Oh," Akane parroted immediately. Actually, something about that
statement seemed fishy to Akane. In fact, something was wrong with this
whole situation. If only she could figure it out... but the massage felt
so good that she couldn't bring herself to think about such stressful
details. She slipped even further into the relaxing shiatsu-induced
delirium and forgot all about her unease.
    "That was a close one," Ryoga whispered, wiping sweat from his now
bare forehead. Certain that the bandana was properly placed to soak up
the impending flow, he returned both hands to Akane's shoulders, patting
down her back. "How's that?" he asked. "Should I go a little lower?"
    "Yes please," said Akane. "I really appreciate this, Ryoga."
    "Sure, no problem." Ryoga let his hands travel down to her armpits,
then to her sides, lightly rubbing her skin in small circles. "Just let
me know when I hit the spot."
    "You're going the wrong way," said Akane, pushing herself up from
the pillow. "Don't tell me you're getting lost on -"
    "Now's my chance!" whispered Ryoga. His fingers descended to Akane's
now-exposed chest and poked into her ribcage just below the breasts.
    Akane grunted. "Ryoga, that hurt!"
    Ryoga leapt backwards, landing on the foot of the bed. "What? It was
supposed to -"
    Akane turned completely around, raising a fist to punch Ryoga. "What
were you trying to do to -" Suddenly, her eyelids drooped, and she
slumped forward in a daze.
    Ryoga quickly caught her and held her up. "Akane! Are you okay?
What's wrong?"
    Akane lurched to life in his arms, her breathing fast and furious.
She arched her back and threw her head back, emitting a quiet moan that
reminded Ryoga of the few nights at home that his parents had both
managed to find the bedroom. Ryoga found himself staring at her erect
breasts and quickly turned his head away, feeling the first trickle of
blood seeping into the bandana at his nose. He let go of Akane, but she
leaned forward and threw her arms around him, squeezing with all of her
might. Ryoga could feel her naked breasts pressing against his shirt,
her heart beating so quickly that he began to worry that she was having
a heart attack. Yet she was still breathing, fast and deep, like...
    Her palms pressed against his ears, and she forcefully yet gently
turned his head to face her. He opened his eyes in time to see the
lustful look in her eyes before she pressed her soft lips to his in a
passionate kiss. Then, one hand grabbed the back of his head, holding
him in the kiss, while the other crept down his back, pulling upward on
the fabric of his shirt as if trying to remove it. Ryoga's nose gushed
blood, quickly saturating the bandana and dripping onto Akane's face.
    'This is not good!' he thought to himself, fighting to remain
conscious. 'This isn't what was supposed to happen!' He waved his arms
frantically, but couldn't even try to free himself without risking
hurting Akane. 'What am I going to do?' Then, it hit him. The release
point! Happosai hadn't been sure exactly where it was, since he'd never
bothered to use it; but he'd given Ryoga enough of an idea that, if he
could get his hands into the right place, he should be able to break the
mind controlling power of the Naresome no Shiatsu.
    Unfortunately, getting to that spot might prove to be a problem...
*************************************************
    Ranma clenched his fists, took a deep breath, pushed the door open,
stepped into the room, and bowed his head. "Akane... I'm really sorry. I
never thought about how tough I've made your life. I understand now that
you're tough on me sometimes because you're concerned about me, and...
I'm concerned about you too. I don't want you to get hurt, not just
physically, but emotionally as well. But I don't want to alienate you
either. So, just remember that, whatever happens, you're the one I - I
always care about you, Akane. And no matter what I say or do, like
calling you names and stuff... I don't mean none of it! I just... can't
bring myself to say... that I... I..." He looked up to see his
audience's reaction.
    Kasumi applauded. "Bravo, Ranma! What a beautiful speech!"
    "What do you know?" said Nabiki, somewhat impressed. "Maybe he
poured it on a little thick at the end, but it just might be enough to
get Akane out of her funk."
    Ranma sighed. "When it's just practice, it's one thing. But when I
actually try it on Akane..."
    "Don't worry so much!" advised Kasumi. "I'm sure you'll do fine."
    "You only rehearsed it thirty times," added Nabiki. "Even YOU can't
screw up too badly with all of that practice." She paused to reconsider
her last statement. "Why don't you think of it as Martial Arts Talk-Fu
or something?"
    "Martial Arts Talk-Fu?" repeated Ranma. "It's brilliant! Why didn't
I ever think of it before?"
    "I can't imagine," Nabiki replied flatly.
    Ranma ignored her in his celebration. "If it's Martial Arts... I can
do anything! Even... even apologize to Akane!"
    "Whoo," said Nabiki with little enthusiasm. "You go, Martial Boy."
    Ranma triumphantly stalked out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs
to Akane's room. He threw the door open jubilantly. "Akane, I've got
something to -" He froze as he saw what was going on in the room. Akane,
naked except for a pair of panties, and Ryoga, his usual outfit complete
with a bloody bandana tied under his nose, were sharing a passionate
kiss on top of her bed. Ranma made a sick face, unwilling to look any
closer but unable to stop himself. Yep, she was slipping him the tongue.
And Ryoga's fingers were groping at her tiny breasts in a perverted
frenzy, eagerly poking at every erogenous inch, while she tried to
remove his shirt without breaking the kiss.
    Ranma stormed into the room and grabbed Ryoga by the shoulders,
resisting the urge to beat him to death where he sat. "What's the
matter, Ryoga?" he asked sarcastically. "Her panties weren't enough for
you?" He pulled Ryoga off of the bed and out of Akane's arms. As soon as
Akane's grip was broken, she began to whine like a dog separated from
its master. "Akane, what's wrong?" asked Ranma.
    In response, Akane leapt off of the bed and bodily tore Ranma off of
Ryoga, then proceeded to grab Ryoga in a bear hug once again, kissing
him like there was no tomorrow. She wrapped her bare legs around his
waist and clawed at the bottom of his shirt, tugging it out of his belt.
Ryoga let out a single startled gasp before his hands darted right back
to her chest and continued prodding away.
    Ranma planted his elbow in the back of Ryoga's head. "Get your mitts
off her, pig-boy!" he shouted.
    Ryoga tore his face away from Akane's just long enough to blurt out
"What do you think I'm trying to do?" before she pulled him back in.
    "That does it!" shouted Ranma, putting his hands on Ryoga and
Akane's foreheads to force them apart. Akane kicked him, sending him
through the roof and into the Nerima sky.
    Seizing the opportunity while Akane was distracted, Ryoga pushed
Akane away from his body and jabbed his fingers into her cleavage in a
last desperate attempt to find the release point for the Naresome no
Shiatsu.
    This time, it worked. As his finger poked into her chest, Akane
gasped, heaving air in halting breaths as her heartbeat slowed to
normal. Her arms drew even tighter around Ryoga's torso as she shivered
in the sudden cold of her nakedness. Ryoga froze in shock, afraid to do
anything for fear of upsetting Akane, but even more afraid to wait for
her to figure out what was happening.
    It seemed like hours before Akane could work up the nerve to look up
and see who her arms were wrapped around. When her eyes met Ryoga's, she
screamed and quickly thrust her palm into his chest, throwing him to the
far end of the room. She covered her chest with her arms and backed away
until her back hit the wall, drawing in breath for another scream.
    Ryoga covered his face with his arms. "Please, stop screaming!" he
begged. "I can explain!"
    Akane's jaw worked up and down as she tried to form a question.
"Wh... wha... what..."
    "I, um... I..." Ryoga stammered. "Well, actually..." He uncovered
his face, only to find himself staring at Akane again. He felt a fresh
trickle of blood dripping into the bandana, but was too shocked to turn
his eyes away. Akane leapt across the room and smacked him in the face,
then quickly grabbed the blanket from her bed and wrapped it around
herself.
    "You were staring at me, you pervert!" accused Akane.
    Ryoga rubbed the back of his head bashfully. "I should probably go,"
he said. He slid the door open and stepped through while Akane glared at
him. As soon as he had shut it behind himself, he slid it open again.
"This is the closet," he announced unnecessarily.
    "Ryoga, what happened to me?" Akane finally asked, now that her
brief loss of temper had driven the shock from her system. "The last
thing I can remember is you giving me a massage. What happened after
that?"
    Ryoga's heart leapt into his throat. "You don't... remember
anything... after that?"
    Akane shook her head, her expression softening. "No. You were
rubbing my shoulders, and then... we were on the floor, and you were
holding me." She shuddered involuntarily.
    "Well, I..." he stammered again. How could he explain his way out of
this one? If Akane didn't remember, he could make up any excuse he
wanted! So why the hell couldn't he think of anything?
    "Ryoga..." Akane's voice took on a pleading tone. "Do you know what
happened?"
    Ryoga's mouth opened and closed several times before any words came
out. When they did, they were as much a surprise to Ryoga as they were
to Akane. "No... I, uh, don't remember a thing either!"
    "Oh." Akane deflated. "Then I guess there's no way to know."
    "Yeah, what a shame," said Ryoga, although the tone in his voice
would have worked better with the sentence that was on his mind: "I'm
glad THAT'S over with!"
    "It's just like what happened to Ranma..." Akane mused. "First
Ranma, and now us... everyone's memories are being erased! But why...?"
    Ryoga's entire body tensed up. Ranma! He'd seen what had happened...
who knew what he was thinking?! By now, he was probably already planning
Ryoga's demise... "Um, Akane, I think I should go see what I can find
out about these strange events," Ryoga said nervously.
    Akane nodded, too distracted by her thoughts to pay much attention
to Ryoga. "That's a good idea, Ryoga. And if you see Ranma... don't tell
him what happened. It'll just make him worry."
    "Of course not," Ryoga assured her, although 'worry' was hardly the
word for how the truth would affect Ranma. "I won't breathe a word of
this to him." He gracefully bowed and swept out the door, shutting it
behind himself.
    "You're in the closet again," Akane informed him.
    "I knew that," replied Ryoga, making his way to the correct door and
letting himself out.
    Once he was gone, Akane dressed herself and went to close the
closet, but a strange book on the closet floor caught her eye. "What's
this book doing here?" she asked, picking it up. "Did Ryoga leave it
here? Or maybe... it has something to do with what just happened to us?"
    She read the book's title, then turned it over to read the back
cover, scratching her head. "'Change your life for the better today. Get
everything you ever dreamed of, and more, or your money back?' This must
be Ryoga's. I don't think it would explain why we lost our memories,
anyway. But why would Ryoga be reading this?" Suddenly curious, she sat
down at her desk, opened to a random page, and began to read the strange
book with interest. If it did even half of what it claimed to do, it
certainly was a life-changing book.
*************************************************
    "Aah, that was good," said Hikaru Gosunkugi, patting his stomach
contentedly. "Success always seems to make me hungry." He turned to the
package on the counter. "And speaking of success..." He grabbed the
package and tore the wrapping off eagerly, allowing him to finally gaze
upon the cover of his new book. And even better, the untold treasures
within...
    Well, they would be untold no longer! Hikaru cracked open the volume
and scanned down the table of contents for the chapter that would teach
him everything he needed to know. This plan... This plan would work. It
was GUARANTEED to work. And if one thing could be said for Hikaru
Gosunkugi's luck, it was that he had never in his life been able to
claim a money-back guarantee.
*************************************************
    "Well, that could have gone better," mumbled Ranma as he sat on a
bench in the park, nursing the bump on his head with an ice pack. "I
can't believe that jerk Ryoga and that idiot Akane would do something
like that... right in front of me! And they didn't even have the common
decency to be ashamed!" He pounded the bench with his fist. "I don't get
it. One second, she's apologizing to me, and then she's up in her room
making out with Ryoga! What could she see in that guy, anyway?"
    He pictured the scene again, cringing as he did so. Anger filled him
at the mere thought of Ryoga groping at Akane's breasts, and Akane
getting a good taste of the inside of Ryoga's mouth... and yet, somehow,
it wasn't worth wasting the energy to be angry at them. Instead, Ranma
found himself wanting to think this situation through and figure out why
Akane would go behind his back like that.
    Come to think of it, that was a pretty good question. Even though
she was always losing her temper with him, he was pretty sure that she
wanted a better relationship with him... so why would she make out with
Ryoga? It just didn't add up. She couldn't have given up on Ranma
completely... she wasn't the type of girl who would give up anything
that she wanted, especially not over something as trivial as a couple of
casual insults. So her little tryst with Ryoga was probably not serious.
Ranma caught himself sighing with relief and quickly stopped himself. He
hadn't figured it out yet...
    Okay, so she wasn't serious about Ryoga. So what? What reason could
she have for getting so intimate with someone if she didn't have any
feelings for him - particularly a level of intimacy that she'd never had
with Ranma? He was just barely missing the connection... In a few more
seconds, he was ready to bash himself on the head for his idiocy. She
was doing it to make him jealous, obviously! She wanted a relationship,
but Ranma was reluctant, so she was trying to bring out his desires by
acting them out with Ranma's greatest rival. Now it all made sense!
    "Uncute tomboy," Ranma said aloud. "Like I'M going to get jealous
over HER. More like SHE'S jealous over ME. At least the other girls who
want to marry me are cute. Who's chasing after her? Kuno, Ryoga,
Gosunkugi..." He spat. "What a bunch of losers. I don't have anything to
be jealous about. Akane should be BEGGING me to marry her."
    Then, was that the reason for...? Was it Akane's way of asking Ranma
to be more forward? Maybe she was just too proud to admit that she was
scared - scared that Ranma would choose another girl over her. He
chuckled. What a ridiculous idea! No way Akane was feminine enough to be
THAT sneaky!
    Which meant... what? That she really was in love with Ryoga? That
Ranma had insulted her one time too many, and lost her for good? Come to
think of it, she had been a great deal more serious that evening than he
had ever seen her... and he'd treated it as a joke! He laid his head in
his hands and groaned. Had he really pushed her too far? Was there
nothing he could do?
    "NO!" he shouted as he leapt to his feet. "I don't care what it
takes... I'll find a way to fix everything!" His stomach rumbled,
reminding him that he hadn't had a chance to eat all day, but he ignored
it. The setting sun cast its fading light on his back, the long shadows
reminding him of the times he had walked through this very park with
Akane. He wasn't going to let her go. She was HIS fiancee! He wasn't
going to lose her to Ryoga!
    Ranma clenched his fists as he walked. "You'd better get ready,
pig-boy!" he declared to the unheeding heavens. "The next time I see
you... you're going to wish you'd never messed with my fiancee!"
*************************************************
    Deep in thought, Ryoga wandered, not even caring where he ended up.
It didn't matter, now. He could never go back to the Tendo Dojo again.
Not after he'd taken advantage of Akane that way, and then lied about
it! How could he face her, knowing what he'd done? How could he look at
the girl he loved without being reminded of his secret shame? Worse,
what would happen if Akane ever found out the truth?
    The truth... Ryoga wasn't sure he knew the truth himself. What had
gone wrong with the technique? Happosai had assured him that it was a
foolproof way to get Akane to fall in love with him! That was what the
name meant - Naresome no Shiatsu: The Massage of Newfound Love.
    No... wait. Those hadn't been Happosai's words. He'd said that it
would bring Ryoga the love of any woman he desired. Well, THAT put a new
spin on things. In retrospect, it was painfully obvious. Happosai's
definition of love was as perverted as the man himself! The Naresome no
Shiatsu had nothing to do with romance... it was just a technique that
made girls horny. No wonder Akane hadn't been able to keep her hands off
of him!
    Well, that was a lesson learned. He'd never trust Happosai again.
But there was a bigger problem left to deal with: explaining the
situation to Ranma. They'd had a healthy rivalry going ever since they'd
met, but this time, Ryoga had a feeling he'd overstepped the bounds of
common competition. Akane had been a sort of tacit goal of their rivalry
since it had moved to Nerima, but she'd never been an active part of it.
Ranma was probably looking for him at that very moment, ready to wring
Ryoga's neck on sight for desecrating his fiancee. Not that Ryoga was
afraid, of course. He was ready to accept his punishment like a man and
take responsibility for his mistakes.
    Wait... no, he wasn't! That wasn't how Ryoga Hibiki dealt with his
problems! It sounded more like something out of that book... The book!
He thrust a fist into his mouth to keep from screaming. He'd left it in
Akane's room! If she found that book... Well, no chance of finding his
way back there in time. His only hope now was that she didn't put the
facts together and realize that Ryoga wasn't quite as innocent as he
seemed. Then again, this was the girl who still hadn't figured out that
he and P-chan were one and the same, despite the abundance of blatant
clues. And there wasn't anything particularly incriminating in the book,
anyway. Akane would never guess that he had anything to do with what had
happened during her memory loss.
    That still left the problem of how to deal with Ranma, however.
Somehow, it didn't feel right to fight him over something that wasn't
his fault. But Ranma would want to fight, of course, and Ryoga couldn't
back down from a challenge. To fight or not to fight, that was the
question...
    Ryoga didn't have time to ponder the answer. He looked up to find
himself in a familiar park that even he couldn't help but recognize. And
through the comic graces of whatever gods were looking for amusement on
this otherwise peaceful winter evening, Ranma was just coming down the
path now, on an intercept course with Ryoga. He hadn't seen the lost boy
yet, but any second, their eyes would meet, and when they did, Ryoga
would know exactly what Ranma had planned for him.
    Ranma looked up and saw Ryoga, and Ryoga screamed and leapt behind a
bush. Those eyes... Ryoga had never seen an expression like that before,
no matter how angry Ranma had been! There had been something there, a
glimmer of some emotion, so terrifying that Ryoga just couldn't face it.
    "Hey, Ryoga," Ranma called out emotionlessly. Far from being the
threat that Ryoga had expected, this was merely a greeting, a bit cold,
but not vengeful in the least. Startled, Ryoga peered over the top of
the bush. Ranma looked much calmer now, as if just seeing that Ryoga was
afraid of him had mollified him somehow. But Ryoga wasn't fooled for a
second. He knew it was just a trick to lure him out.
    Still, what good would it do him to hide from his problems? Better
to come right out and face Ranma like a man and pay the price for what
he'd done. He stood up and stepped out from behind the bush. "Ranma, I
know you're mad at me," he began. "I could try to explain what I did,
but in the end, it's my fault just the same." He bowed his head. "So I
won't fight you. Do whatever you want to me." He braced himself for the
pounding of his life.
    Ranma stared at Ryoga for a few minutes as if trying to fathom his
purpose. "Nah," he finally said defeatedly. "It ain't worth it."
    "What?" Ryoga looked into Ranma's eyes, expecting a surprise attack
now that he was off guard. But Ranma appeared to be totally serious.
Ryoga grabbed him by the collar. "Who are you, and what have you done
with the real Ranma?"
    Ranma merely shook his head. "I don't know what's stopping me from
beating you up either. Normally, I'd have torn one of your legs off and
beaten you to death with it for what you did to Akane. But for some
reason, I feel like violence isn't going to solve anything anymore.
Fighting just hurts people."
    Ryoga released his grip, mulling over Ranma's words. They sounded
familiar, somehow... but Ryoga had better things to do than wonder why
Ranma sounded like a therapist. He had an overwhelming burden of guilt
to absolve. "What do you mean, it's not worth it?" he demanded angrily.
"If Akane was MY fiancee and I caught you having your way with her, I'd
be pounding you senseless!"
    Ranma just shrugged. "What would that accomplish? It happened; it's
over. Akane'd probably be even more pissed at me if I beat you up
anyway."
    Well, there was that... but... "What kind of man are you, anyway?"
Ryoga asked pointedly. "You should be defending your fiancee's honor!"
    Ranma shrugged again. "If you insist." He grabbed Ryoga by the
collar and lifted him off of his feet.
    "Hey! What are you doing?" Ryoga protested.
    "Anyone who would take advantage of Akane like that is no man," said
Ranma. "Someone like that... is more of a pig!" With that, he hurled
Ryoga over his shoulder, right into the park's ornamental fountain.
Ryoga landed with a splash and bobbed to the surface, fighting his way
out of his clothes and squealing indignantly.
    Ranma fished Ryoga out of the fountain. "Like I said, it wouldn't do
me any good to beat you up. But at least this way, you'll be wandering
around for so long trying to find home again that I'll have time to make
things up with Akane."
    Ryoga oinked bitterly.
    "Of course, you did offer an explanation of just HOW you got Akane
so excited over you..." Ranma mused aloud. "But you can't exactly talk
when you're a pig..."
    Ryoga nodded and oinked eagerly. Ranma was going to make him human
again!
    Instead, however, Ranma placed him on the ground and dropped a pen
and a sheet of paper next to him. "Here you go, Mr. P.," said Ranma.
"You can write your explanation."
    Ryoga grabbed the pen unsteadily in his teeth, then leapt up and
swatted Ranma on the head with it. "Bwee bwee bwee!" he oinked angrily.
    Ranma rubbed his head. "Huh. Can't write either, can you? Oh well."
He picked Ryoga up and tucked him under an arm. "Guess we'd better get
you some hot water."
    Ryoga settled into Ranma's arm and let himself be carried out of the
park, wondering a bit about Ranma's odd behavior. He was definitely not
his usual short-tempered self, that was for sure. But what could it
mean? More importantly, how could Ryoga take advantage of it? Could this
change in Ranma be the ticket to Akane's heart? And if so, was it
Ranma's or Ryoga's ticket? One thing was certain, however. He was going
to have to choose his next source of dating advice a little more
carefully.
*************************************************
    Kodachi stormed into her bedroom angrily, nearly forgetting in her
temper to duck as a boom swung down from the ceiling through the space
where her head had been. Once safely inside, she breathed deeply of the
aroma of the black roses that covered her walls and ceiling like
wallpaper. The sweet perfume helped to calm her nerves after her
harrowing evening. Her search had turned up no trace of Ranma, and the
pigtailed harridan was also nowhere to be found. An entire evening of
searching the city, wasted...
    She glared angrily at the book lying open on her desk. "You've been
no help at all," she said to it as she seated herself in front of her
vanity. She frowned at the image of her sole-marked face in the mirror.
"Change my life for the better?" she continued sarcastically. "I think
not. I'll be sure to reclaim the purchase price through the advertised
money-back guarantee." She plucked a rose from the wall with a slight
air of frustration, pulled off a few petals, and dropped them into a
mortar. "All I wanted was my Ranma darling! Yet even with the aid of the
advice in that book, he still rejects me!" She snatched up the pestle
and angrily ground the petals into paste. "How dare he disgrace the face
of the Black Rose with his heel!" She scooped the paste out of the bowl
with a soft cloth and applied it to her face, instantly masking the red
footprint. "I will win his heart yet! All I need is a new approach..."
    The petals of the roses on the walls rustled abruptly, startling
Kodachi. "Just a breeze," she said once she had regained her breath.
"Obviously, my brother needs to be taught a lesson about entering my
room and leaving the window open." She stood up in a huff, directing her
recently-subsided anger at her intrusive brother as she crossed the room
to close the window. She pulled the curtain aside and reached up to
close the sash... only to find it already closed. "That's odd," she
said, turning around to verify that the roses were no longer being
touched by the mysterious breeze. SHE certainly hadn't felt a draft. "It
must have been my imagination," she decided. "The day's hectic pace has
taken its toll on my poor nerves."
    So reassured, Kodachi sat once again and studied herself in the
mirror. "What is not to love about this beautiful face?" she asked
herself. "It is obvious that Ranma does not find me a suitable fiancee,
but what, in his esteem, do I lack?" She hummed thoughtfully, frowning
at her ponytail. "Perhaps he has grown weary of this antiquated
coiffure. After all, he himself sports a pigtail. But what new style
would appeal to him?"
    Her eyes lit on the pair of rose-adorned hair clips on the vanity
stand, and she smiled. "Ah, yes. Those will do nicely." She pulled the
hair from the left side of her head into a ponytail, securing it with
one of the clips, then did the same on the right side. "There. This
childish style perfectly complements my youthful face."
    She turned her head to examine herself on one side, then the other.
"Hmmm... it is lovely, but I don't think it would appeal to Ranma. He
would be more attracted to an older woman." She removed the clips,
shaking her head to let her hair fall back naturally. "Let's see... what
style is popular among adults?" She wound her hair into a bun and used a
long hairpin to secure it. "There. This should add just the right amount
of maturity and womanly grace to my appearance." She paused to admire
her reflection again. "I must say; like a fine wine, I certainly age
well."
    Once again, the rose petals rustled in a nonexistent wind, falling
silent as Kodachi turned to investigate. Her trained eye spotted nothing
out of the ordinary in the room. She licked a finger and held it aloft,
feeling the air for signs of a breeze. However, the air was perfectly
still. "What a strange phenomenon," said Kodachi, turning back to the
mirror. What she saw drew her breath out in a single gasp. The roses on
the opposite wall were bulging outwards, stretching across the room
toward her. Kodachi rubbed her eyes and turned around, staring in
disbelief at the floral projection as the flowers from the other three
walls and ceiling shifted to join the main mass at the back of the room.
The bulge grew and stretched with the increased mass, reaching for her.
    Kodachi took a step backwards, brandishing her ribbon. "What is
going on?" She snapped the ribbon at the still-forming mass, tearing it
apart. The flowers quickly rearranged themselves to fill the gap, as the
blob continued to take shape. A pair of long tentacles grew from the
bottom, and another pair emerged from the sides near the top of the
blob, quickly taking rigid forms. A fifth extension popped out of the
top of the main mass, this one a round bulge connected to the lower part
by a short, thick tube. Kodachi lashed out again with the ribbon, but
one of the upper projections caught the cloth, pulling it out of
Kodachi's hand. Kodachi stumbled backwards, groping on the top of her
vanity for something, anything to use as a weapon against the living
anthropic bouquet.
    Before she could strike again, however, the entire mass of roses
exploded outwards, filling the room with black petals, blinding Kodachi
and making it difficult to breathe. She coughed out a mouthful of petals
and slowly edged her way around the vanity, toward the bedroom door. A
strong arm grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back to the center
of the room. Kodachi screamed and swung a fist at her captor, but felt
nothing except for a brief sensation of intense cold, as if she were
reaching through a cloud.
    As the rose petals began to settle to the floor, the bedroom door
flew open. "What is going OOF!" shouted Tatewaki, the final cry of pain
in response to the boom smashing him in the face.
    "Brother!" cried Kodachi. "Help me!" The cold air behind Kodachi
swirled around her, engulfing her completely. She opened her mouth to
scream again, but the cold air rushed into her throat, choking her.
Kodachi reflexively inhaled to cough the foul air out of her lungs, but
that merely filled her lungs with it even faster. She felt her entire
body growing colder as the fog worked its way into her bloodstream, and
then everything went black as she finally lost consciousness.
    Meanwhile, Tatewaki had recovered from the blow to his head and
staggered into the room, swinging his bokken randomly as he waved his
hand to clear the rose petals from his path. He could vaguely see a
human silhouette in the middle of the room, and charged at it, slashing
it right through the center. The figure, unfazed by the attack, leapt
backwards, right through the window. Tatewaki ran to the window, opened
what remained of it, and climbed onto the sill to leap down to the
ground below. As he looked down to gauge his jump, he caught sight of
the intruder fleeing toward Mr. Green Turtle's pond. The figure, clad in
a red shirt and dark trousers, its black hair tied into a pigtail,
stopped at the pond's edge and turned to stare up at Tatewaki. For a
split second, their eyes met, and a chill ran down Tatewaki's spine.
Then, before he could react, the figure vanished, leaving no indication
that it had ever existed at all.
    Tatewaki's hand clenched the handle of his bokken tightly as a few
stray petals blew past him out the window into the Nerima night. He spat
the name that was on the tip of his tongue as if it were poisonous,
eager to rid his mouth of its filthy taste. "Ranma Saotome... for this,
you will die."

--------------------------------------------------

TIM: What made you decide not to be a mime?
WILSON: I talked myself out of it.

My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp



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