Ah, was hoping to see this soon:
$Things on my end are going to be a little different from now on. I no
longer have a job, I've got a fairly easy class load this semester, and
I've got this itch to finish my backlog and stay current on fics.
Good luck. Lord knows I have a hard enough time trying.
And boy do I have a lot to catch up on.
Heh. I know that feeling too.
"I'll win, just like last week, and the week before that, and every
other
time."
"I wish I had your confidence."
$Jaddo: Yeah, but try carrying around that ego.
Heh. That would be a reply worthy of him.
Having such a person to talk to, and even help comfort, showed Shampoo
$Not to mention the readers.
Yes. Convienent, that.
had so desperately wanted. Just as Jaddo had told her, she had found a
'clique' to belong to. The one that she fit in best was obvious, and
they
had accepted her with open arms. While it was true that the six people
that
composed their clique were what might be termed odd,
$Figures. She'd fit right in with the freaks.
I've always held the opinion very few of the R 1/2 cast would function well
in mainstream society for very long.
just
a touch on the manic depressive side. Well, more like a foot over rather
than a touch, but she was still the most normal of the group. Currently,
Chingmy was operating on the depressive side, making Shampoo careful not
to
let it affect her own mood.
$That's the bad thing about having depressed friends. They tend to
bring you down.
True.
return to their homelands or stay and find a job in Hong Kong. Most
would
probably do the latter, since making it to this level of the fighting
circuit were more than enough credentials to carve out a living in any
number of physically-oriented jobs, the majority of which would pay well
for
a fighter of their caliber.
$Like what? Bouncer? Thug? Maybe even a Goon?
Bodyguard. Security. Spokespeople for products if they are recognizable and
charismatic. Things like that.
Still, it saddened Shampoo to think that, after
the eight months or so it took to accumulate enough victories to advance
to
the big Arena, she would probably never see any of them again.
$Hey, Jaddo still sees Beef. Lots of him, in fact.
Heh. True. And seemingly more each time. But you'll not Jaddo didn't stay in
touch with any of the others, though.
The reassurance seemed to bolster Chingmy's determination. "You're
right. I
just have to stay focused. You always give me good advice. Thanks,
Shampoo."
$Not much advice. I'd be wanting something like 'When he throws a
right jab, step to the left and kick him in the nads, he falls for it
every time.'
True, but Chingmy is easy to cheer up when someone tries to do it for her.
"You're welcome."
Chingmy tensed up slightly. "But how do you think you'll do against
Crippler? He broke another fighter's leg last week. It was a compound
fracture. That makes five out of the last seven opponents he's broken at
least one limb on."
$Heh, I just got a Bloodsport flashback.
Been too long since I've seen it, but I think I know what you mean.
Shampoo turned to confront their speaker, one of the more notable
members of
their clique. He was a Greek, tall and swarthy-skinned, with a fiery
halo of
$Should greek be capitalised here?
I belive so. I'm mentioning his nationality.
Apollo held his hand up to his brow in understanding. "Ah, no doubt you
once
again are leery of drawing too close to divinity and being burned by He
Who
Is The God of Light and Truth. Fear not, you may bask in my presence as
any
other worshipers would. Apollo is not so thoughtless so as to ignore
your
mortal frailties."
$I don't get it, what's his quirk? He's greek, so I'd suspect some
sort of deviant sexuality, but I know it's wrong to stereotype.
You're just plain evil. I like it. :)
serious in his declarations. No one knew if it was the result from
having
been hit in the head too many times and the act became a genuine
delusion,
or if he had always been that way.
$Or, if Zeus really was the practical joker and he was.
Yep. That is the scary thing. It's not completely outside the boundries that
he is the real deal, given how the R 1/2 verse, even this one, works
sometimes.
"We are not your worshippers, stupid," Shampoo informed him in a tired
voice
that projected tolerance rather than any anger.
$Shampoo is Taoist, dummy!
Heh. Cute.
"Ah, Apollo sees you still maintain that conflict with your own belief
system and the One True Way. Have no fears. Regardless of how misguided
you
are in believing there is any power beyond that of Olympus, I am not
vengeful. I shall forgive you for your ignorance when the day of
judgment is
upon you."
$Shampoo: Just as we forgive you of your ignorance now. Isn't it
great to be friends?
Words I live by everyday. :)
"A mere mortal hardly worth my effort. A warrior reminiscent of my own
sister, Artemis, insofar as she is ugly, ill-tempered, and enjoys the
company of other women. Her name is Donna Cheng, or something. It
matters
little. I shall go easy on her."
$Heh heh heh.
I did clear this with Donny, in case anyone was wondering. It just seemed
so... appropriate, somehow.
*shakes head* Although... Hmm. This poses an
interesting question. We all know what a SI is, so what's this? IBA
(Inserted by another)?
Hmm. Never thought of that. As good a name as any, I suppose. Given my track
record, I hope no one decides to put me in one though. There's no telling
what they'd do to me. :)
The soothing effect of the compliment was lost on Apollo. "Surely this
is a
poor jest on your part. Apollo is a god, while Donna is naught but a
mere
mortal."
$Well, at least he believes in himself. Wouldn't want to blaspheme,
now would we?
Good point.
"I have chosen to fast and pray all day to my father to grant me victory
in
my upcoming match."
$As I recall, Zeus helps those that don't piss him off. He also helps
himself to anything that moves and catches his eye.
Too true.
As she looked her selections over, she found that not one of the dishes
was
remotely appealing. It was as she fingered a gray substance that was
some
sort of mystery meat (the mystery being if it was actually some kind of
meat) she felt a pang of sorrow that she didn't have time to eat at
Beef's.
There was always great food there, and since she had made such a
favorable
impression, there was never any charge for her meals.
$The perks of picking on Jaddo.
Heh. True. Not that he doesn't pick back, though.
charming talker. Shampoo could understand how he might still be able to
charm women with such sincerely delivered flattery, despite his
impressive
girth.
$That and his belly probably isn't the only thing that got bigger over
the years.
Could be, but we're not going there in this lifetime.
pulled
her eyes until they were fixated on the yellow-hued substance. It was
unbelievable that one would be left this late in the lunch period, even
with
the sign positioned in front of it. But there it was, in all of its
high-calorie glory. Shampoo's hands were around the plate and in a
heartbeat
it ended up on her tray. The last one was hers!
$Such simple pleasures. I mean, it's not like it's chocolate or
anything.
True. A line has to be drawn.
conversations
with others. Not wishing to intrude on anyone, Shampoo sat down alone
and
began to eat her food quickly, saving the dessert for last. After her
appetite was sated, she could take her time and enjoy the best of the
lot.
$Fool. I can tell that's a bad idea already.
Sort of. Ye shall see.
When they were still young children, Pink's mother had made her promise
to
look after her younger (even if it was only by five minutes) sister. Her
mother had always thought Pink was the more level-headed of the two,
$Thus confirming her feeblemindedness, or possible insanity.
Yeah. Obviously their mother was not the best judge of character, or simply
was as screwed up as Pink is.
get away with her blatant insults to Pink, that meant a more subtle
approach
to revenge would have to take place. That left Pink hovering in the
background, waiting for an opportunity to gain vengeance in a more
roundabout way.
$Heh. I'm getting some hilarious mental images out of this, almost
like watching the anime. Very nice job.
Thanks. Glad it's working.
Seeing Shampoo sitting alone, the final touches of the plan quickly
coalesced in Pink's mind. Silently, she sneaked to a table halfway
across
the cafeteria from Shampoo. Seated there was a friend of Pink's, Gin
Kwong,
who was busy eating a hearty meal that was composed of some tasteless
looking gray goo, that Gin seemed to enjoy. Pink sneaked up behind the
girl
$gray goo that she seemed to enjoy. I think. Pfeh, I finally find a
grammar comment I and flub it.
Dunno. I think you're right. Will look it over, in any case.
A low growl escaped Gin's lips. "The last time I did you a favor, I kept
getting hit on by butch girls for a month because everyone thought I was
a
lesbian."
$'Donna' strikes again, eh?
She's a sneaky thing.
"You're not?"
Gin was barely able to refrain from slugging Pink. "Of course not!"
"But you were so good at acting like one. Maybe you should consider it."
$Heh. Nice dialog. Very typical of your style.
Thanks. Nice to know I have a style, and that it's recognizable. And doesn't
completely suck. :)
Gin waited until Pink was in position, then gave a shout at Shampoo. The
lavendar-haired girl looked up from eating and stared curiously at her.
As
further encouragement, Gin waved her over. After a moment's hesitation,
Shampoo rose from her seat and walked over and said, "Yes?"
For a moment, Gin was speechless. She hadn't thought about what to say.
$The best laid plans...
Too true.
blame. Still, the bimbo had never stood a chance in any case. After all,
she
was nothing but a pair of tits and a bunch of air in between the ears.
She
didn't have one tenth the brains, skill, or cunning of Pink. She had
been
hopelessly outclassed from the beginning.
$It was indeed a Good Plan.
Heh. I see someone hasn't forgotten some of my previous works. :)
physical pain, she had ruined Link's chance to date Komimasa since he
thought he'd been stood up and still refused to speak to her even a
month
later. One of these days Link would get revenge. She was just waiting
for
the right moment. Then Shampoo would be sorry. Oh, how she would be
sorry.
$Shampoo: Sorry. I thought you were your sister.
Like that would help. :P
"He dumped me in the middle of our date and went out with another woman
he
met during it," Gin said acidly.
"What about Ruffero? He was handsome, gentle, understanding-"
"-previously a woman," Gin finished for her.
"Right. So if you don't help me out, I'll set you up with another
loser."
$Again. This stuff's great.
Thanks again.
"I... see," Shampoo lied. And she had thought Apollo was weird. She
turned
away and headed back for her seat. It was for the best to get some
distance
between her and the strange girl before she tried something funny.
Besides,
she had heard Gin was a lesbian, and the girl might be trying to hit on
her
in some weird fashion.
$The awkwardness of a crush. How sweet.
I thought so too.
"That's right. The next fight involves that little tramp." Pink pointed
toward the far side of the waiting area where Shampoo stood next to the
ever
depressive Chingmy and the weirdo who thought he was a god. For some
reason,
Shampoo looked quite irritated as she handed her shorter friend what
appeared to be a considerable amount of money.
$Ah, so he did last fifteen before 'Donna' took him down.
Oui.
It was too late as Crippler cheerfully waved back and joined them. "Hey
there, you two."
Snakebite opened the conversation by asking, "Break the legs on any
small
animals today?"
$Always a good opener. He's smoother than I thought.
I rather thought so. It's the way I usually start my conversations.
Snakebite let out a low whistle. "I'm impressed she could figure you out
so
easily. And as we both know, anyone who's taken a shower with you can
certainly vouch for the last part, Tiny. Sounds like Shampoo's just as
good
a judge of character as she is attractive." Snakebite smiled as he
hooked
his little finger and waved it in front of Crippler.
$Cute.
Thanks. Thought it would be appropriately demeaning.
"Break a leg, and maybe an arm or neck while you're at it," Pink said
cheerfully.
$I'm sure he will.
Heh. True. Hadn't thought of it in those terms.
"Want to bet?" Pink asked.
"Sure," Snakebite said. "If I win, I get to wear the chaps tonight."
$Heheh. I like.
What? He just wants to play cowboy tonight. What's wrong with that? ^_^
"And make horsy noises."
"It's a deal."
$But no spurs.
Obviously not, if chaps were out of the question.
"You two are the most disgusting couple I have ever met," Link said,
failing
to stifle another yawn.
$Prude.
Mostly because she ain't getting any.
fists and was injured badly enough that she would be unable to fight for
at
least a week, according to the doctors. The next time Pink fought Ka
Shin,
she would even the score, but the majority of her rage would be reserved
for
the one that was truly responsible for the whole situation.
$Or not, as the case may be.
Yep.
cutting through and sabotaging all of the supports. Once Pink heard the
sound of the ceiling straining from the weight that was currently
resting
above it, she halted her work. Judging by the noises it was making, all
it
would take was Shampoo's additional weight to push her floor past its
limit.
$It'd have been funnier if she had gotten carried away and toppled it
in on herself.
Nah. It has to happen this way for a reason. That'll become obvious next
chapter.
Within a matter of hours, once Shampoo was finished with her usual
afternoon
workout, the impudent, sneaky, little tramp would be little more than a
$I don't think little works in the flow. Suggest removing it.
Okay.
"No!" Link gnashed her teeth together in anger over that stupid fiasco.
Miraki was a charming, handsome, and debonair man that anything female
would
have swooned over.
$Chicks dig guys that don't dig chicks.
Too true.
Link was barely able to suppress sinister laughter. Instead, she posed
sexily and gave Snakebite an enticing look rather than the contemptuous
one
she reserved exclusively for him. "Hello, Thomas. It's so wonderful of
you
to drop by."
$Well hell, she blew it right there.
Eh? How?
"...and then the damn floor came out from under me. I landed on my leg
bad.
The doctors say I was lucky that, after that fall, and with all of that
concrete landing on me, all I suffered was a simple fracture. Still, I'm
going to be out for at least a month, and it's all that bitch, Shampoo's
fault. Everyone else thinks I'm nuts, but I'm telling you her
unreasonable
hated of me is so great, that when she found out I was being temporarily
assigned to her room, she went ballistic and tried to have me killed by
sabotaging her floor. You believe me, don't you Sis?"
$Heh, and here I figured Pink would have gotten the wrong room.
Nope. Again, it has to happen this way, though.
"It's just the sort of set up she would lay for you, the tricky bitch!"
Pink
bristled at the sight of her sister, bedridden and with a cast on her
leg.
Again, Pink did not bother her sister with the details as to her being
the
one to actually sabotage Shampoo's floor.
$Of course not.
Why burden Link with useless details, after all?
It was obvious somehow the bitch
had ferreted out the trap and set up Link to take the fall, literally.
$The truly funny thing is that she doesn't follow this through to the
obvious concluion that Shampoo is smarter than she is.
Heh. Well now, that is an unacceptable idea.
her sins, especially by using Pink as a tool in all of these insidious
plans
of revenge against Link. All Pink needed was to wait for the right
opportunity and come up with another plan, this one would be foolproof
for
sure. She would see to it personally...
$But not next part, unfortunately. How long do we have to wait for the
big fight? And when does Shampoo fight Snakebite?
All comes to a head next chapter and your questions will be answered. Should
be posting part one of that in a day or two.
Anyway, amusing chapter, nice dialog, very very few mistakes (Try to
make a few more so I have something to do, okay?)
Since I'm going with prereaders for this series, they're catching a lot of
the mistakes, which is why it's harder to spot them. It's not due to any
actions on my part, I assure you. Be happy you found any at all.
Not much in the way
of plot that I saw, just building up the rivalry.
Well, that is actually part of the plot, as were the indights into Pink and
Link's minds. Again all will become clear next chapter.
And now it's off to the next part, which I'm about halfway through
with.
Cool. Already looking forward to it.
D.B. Sommer
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'