Pokeball Run: The Great Race
Part 1 - Summoning
By C-Dogg
Inspired by Cannonball Run

Disclaimer: All unoriginal material is TM and (C) all respective owners. 
Please don't sue me. I have no money. Besides, my lawyer can beat up your 
lawyer.

Foul language, tasteless humor and sex jokes lie ahead. This one may not be 
for the kiddies. 

"/" denotes pokemon speak i.e. "/Duplica?"

----------
Day One...

We join our gang at their camp in a clearing in the middle of a forest. Ash 
and Brock sat facing each other playing a friendly game of cards. Pikachu lay 
on his back nearby sleeping and soaking in the sun's rays as Misty watched 
them all.

"Got any fives?" Brock asked.

"Go fish," replied his younger companion. The older boy drew a card from a 
small pile. Pikachu grunted and rolled onto its stomach.

Misty sighed. "You know, since we haven't seen in three days, everything has 
been so boring."

"Relax," Ash told her. "Something's bound to happen eventually. Something 
always does."

"Well, I wish it would hurry up," the redhead responded.

*POP*

As if on cue, a small wooden door appeared a few yards away. Its brass knob 
shined brightly and a gold sign said its piece simply: "Come In". The three 
stared blankly at this message. "Wow," Ash managed to say.

A broad smile crossed Brock's face. " I wish a beautiful girl would fall down 
from the sky for me!"

"Right Brock," Misty challenged, "like that's going to happen."

Just then, a shadow covered the clearing. The lack of sunlight caused Pikachu 
to awake, indignant that his sunbath had been interrupted. The group watched 
as a parachute slowly descended toward the forest. Gradually, an hourglass 
figure came into view covered by red leather pants and a tight red T-shirt 
with the phrase "I Love Brock" ironed on in black letters. A pale face, jade 
green eyes, and curly blond hair topped her lovely frame.

Brock gaped at the wonderful sight. As the girl touched down, her parachute 
faded away. She walked toward The Door and, as she opened, smiled her pouty 
red lips at Brock before disappearing through The Door. It closed silently 
behind her.

Brock leaped up and charged the door as he cried, "Thank you God!"

"Okay," Misty announced, "there's no way I'm walking through that door! That 
was way too contrived!"

Ash goaded, "Oh c'mon Misty. You said you were bored. Besides, what's the 
worst that could happen?"

*   *   *   *   *
Three days earlier...

The full moon shone brightly on the night forest. Crickets played their 
melodies for all who would listen. Fireflies flickered on and off, adding to 
the serene atmosphere of the scene. It oozed with romantic undertones.

Unfortunately, its three occupants could not enjoy it. Jessie, James, and 
Meowth bolted through the forest at breakneck speeds from an unseen enemy. 
All three were scared shitless.

"Do you think it's gone?" James asked without losing a step.

The trio bobbed and weaved through the trees and ducked low branches and tore 
through bushes. Nothing could hinder their dash for salvation.

"I don't know!" Jessie responded. "I can't even see it!"

Meowth missed a step and barreled face first into a tree. "Oh no!" he yelled. 
"Help me! Help meeee!" His screams ended abruptly.

Jessie and James now held on to each other for dear life. 
"Omigodomigodomigodomigodomigod," the redhead repeated.

"Snap out of it, Jessie!" her blue haired partner commanded. "If we stick 
together, we can get out of this!" He jinxed them. A hole opened beneath the 
girl's feet. She sank into it like quicksand.

"Don't let me go James!" she pleaded. He held on for as long as he could but 
Jessie slipped from his grip. Her sobs became more and more distant. Then 
there was silence.

James stood up slowly, never taking his eyes off of the evil hole. Then the 
hole burped. James returned to the original plan and took off as fast he 
could.
He ran and ran until he reached a lake. The boy dropped to his knees and 
leaned forward to take a sip. A distant rumble caught his attention and he 
bolted upright, looking around nervously. The rumbling got louder and nearer 
and the lake started to ripple. A ninety-foot wall of water shot high into 
the air. And as it fell away, James saw it what had been chasing them the 
entire time.

"Holy shit!"

*   *   *   *   *
The next day...

"No way!"

"I swear!"

"Was it really that small?"

"I'm not kidding."

"So what did you do?"

"I told him to come back when he hit puberty." 

The three ladies laughed together. They had converged on the Celadon City 
Coffee Shop for their mid morning breaks as they did on most mornings.

"Y'know Jenny, if you're that picky with every guy," Nurse Joy told her 
friend, you're never going to get any."

"Really." Ms. Ketchum chimed in. "You need to learn to work with what you 
have."

"Easy for you to say," Officer Jenny returned. "You're bedding Professor Oak 
every night. And we all know that man's hung like a cannon."

Ms. Ketchum smiled. "He sure fires like one. Got a Hell of a recoil, too."

Nurse Joy added, "Well I hope he's not as loud." They shared another moment 
of rich laughter.

Ms. Ketchum stood up from the table. "I'm going to go power my nose ladies. 
I'll be right back."

Jenny raised her mug. "We'll be waiting for you.

*****

"Raichu! Thundershock!"

Lieutenant Surge's voice echoed through his gym. His orange and brown 
rodent's body pulsed with bright yellow lightning. A powerful bolt exploded 
from raichu's fat frame and assaulted it's helpless, unprepared opponent, a 
measly squirtle. The shelled pokemon writhed in pain as the voltage flowed 
through its body. Raichu cut the power and the squirtle fell to the ground, 
charred and bruised.

"Get the Hell out of my gym." Surge yelled. A smug look fell across his face. 
"Come back when your pokemon is worth a damn." The small child called back 
his battered pokemon and ran crying from the gym.

"Surge, wouldn't it be nice if you were a bit more civil towards your 
challengers?" Blaine called as he stepped out of a dark corner.

Surge smiled. "Bah, it doesn't bother me. Let's go grab a bite to eat. I'm 
starving."

"I'm afraid I must intervene gentlemen," a voice announced as a mysterious 
figure entered the door.

Surge and Blaine turned to face the voice. "I'm on break, buddy. Com back in 
an hour," commanded the lieutenant. The stranger had no response. He only 
held up two poke balls.

*****

"Women."

Ms. Ketchum took note of the sign and pulled the door open. She was greeted 
by a swirling black vortex. The brown-haired lady closed the door and noted 
that the sign did indeed say "Women." She opened the door again. The vortex 
was still there. Ms Ketchum shrugged and gladly walked into it.

*****

"So you'll bring the carrots?" Joy asked.

"Don't I always?" Jenny returned with a smile.

"Alright then. I'll see you at eight."  A beeping sound captured the nurse's 
attention. She looked down at her waist. "Aw poo. They need me back at the 
Pokemon Center.

"Ms. Ketchum has been gone a while," commented the officer. "Do you think 
she's all right?"

"Of course. She is. Can you give me a lift?"

"Sure."

*****

Duplica posed for a mirror in an odd-looking clown ensemble. "What do you 
think ditto?" She squeezed the red nose and smiled at her pokemon.

"It's absolutely darling!"

"Why thank -- Hey! Since when could you talk?"

"Oh, that was me."

"Me who?"

"Come to the mirror."

Duplica cautiously approached the mirror and looked deep into it. "Hello?" 
Suddenly, a hand reached through and grabbed her by the collar. "The Hell?" 
The Hand yanked her in.

Ditto blinked twice. "/Duplica?" The Hand reached through again and beckoned 
the shape shifter with a finger. "/Me?" The Hand gave a thumbs-up sign. 
"/Finally! Some action!"

*****

"See you tonight!" Nurse Joy waved to her friend before turning to enter the 
Pokemon Center.

Jenny waved back. Her car started to shake violently. "Huh? What's wrong?" A 
hole opened up in the ground and her squad car fell into it, barely giving 
her enough time to yell, "Holy shit!"

*****

A chansey grabbed Nurse Joy's hand as soon as she stepped through the front 
door. It hurriedly dragged her through the halls and stopped at the janitor's 
closer.

"You want me to go in there?" The chansey nodded. Joy opened the door to a 
swirling black vortex. "Hasn't this already been done?"

The chansey shoved Joy inside the closet. "No need to be picky!"

*   *   *   *   *
Back at Day One...

Visions of the mystery girl, naked and waiting for him on a waterbed, teased 
Brock's brain as he ran through the door. He was sorely disappointed. Ash and 
Misty walked in shortly after their friend. All three had the same thing to 
say.

"What the Hell?"

Eight pairs of eyes turned toward them.

"Ah, welcome!" a masculine voice called. "Please have a seat."

The trio examined their surroundings. They seemed to be in a poorly lit 
warehouse. Fourteen chairs were lined in a row, half of which were already 
occupied. A short distance away stood a tall, brown skinned young man who 
appeared to be in his teens. He wore black sunglasses, loose black pants, and 
black shoes. A long-sleeved red shirt covered his top and short black hair 
rested on his head. His mouth was formed into a sadistic smile.

"Hi honey!"

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Ash called.

Ms. Ketchum answered, "I don't know. Why don't you ask the man in the red 
shirt."

"Untie us now!"

"We're human beings, dammit!"

"Speak for ya self!"

Misty pinpointed the familiar voices. "Team Rocket's here too?

"Hi Misty!" Duplica waved, still wearing her clown garb. Misty waved back.

The young man in the red shirt tossed two poke balls forward. They exploded 
in a cloud of dust and confetti. When it cleared, Blaine and Lieutenant Surge 
stood before the crowd, bewildered and pissed off. Surge aimed a meaty finger 
at the stranger. "You're that little son of a bitch from the gym!"

A hole opened up about five feet in the air. Distant yells became louder and 
louder until two familiar figures fell out. The girl was in a towel and the 
boy was in his underpants.

"What the hell?"

"Oh my!" exclaimed Nurse Joy.

"Gary? Giselle?" Brock tried to hold back his laughter. "What were you two 
doing?"

The girl hid behind her companion. Both blushed profusely. "Mind your 
business!" Gary charged in his nasal voice.

"Hey!" Officer Jenny shouted. "Is it cold in here or is it just Gary!"

The room erupted in laughter, except for Blaine and, of course, Gary Oak.

"Did it shrink in the water?"
   
"I think we found your missing pinky!"

"Doesn't look like an 'Oak' to me!"

Blaine massaged his temples as the slew of jokes were viciously spat out but 
could no longer stay quiet.

"Everyone shut the hell up!"

A hush shot through the room.

"Who the fuck are you?" the bald gym leader asked the still smiling stranger. 
The stranger raised a hand and snapped his fingers. The ropes constraining 
Team Rocket fell to the floor and Duplica, Gary, and Giselle were in their 
original outfits.

"I'm the author," he announced.

"Oh no!" Brock cried. "We're in a fanfic!"
----------

Questions? Comments? Flames? Praises? Send 'em this way. 
c-dogg@bigmailbox.net or bigc123485@aol.com
	     .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'