Quoting MadPsyence@aol.com:

Standard disclaimer, see part 1.

Just did, but I don't have a lot to say about it. It sure made me raise a 
metaphorical eyebrow and wait for this part, though. ^_^

    There had been an increase in violence all over the world, as of
late. It didn't take a genius to notice the disturbing trend of
anger and tantrums. He had known this, and had know it for a while;
although he couldn't distinguish how long. Time had really no meaning
to him or his kind. To him, time was a thing of comfort. It was
either dark or light, too hot, too cold, warm or cool.

Now, I don't know why, but I have some problems with the last sentence. I think 
using "night or day" instead of "dark or light" would help the transition 
between the two sentences, since such concepts as day or night does not imply a 
time-sliced base like we use. Well, that's just my .02c...

    Currently it was light, and pleasant out. It was a good day. He
paused in his trek to sniff at the breeze. It held a welcome smell.
The smell of youth, of health, and his secrete favorite: cookies.
He paused long enough to sniff around the base of a trash can and
piss on it, then padded off in search of cookies.


    Kasumi hummed to herself as she walked home, groceries in hand. She
had Cascade's song 'Strawberry Moon' playing in her head on repeat,
but that was okay, it was a good song.

It was around 11 in the morning and she would have to make lunch when
she got home, maybe make a snack for her sisters and Ranma a little
before school was out. It just depended on how much she had to do.


    He rounded a corner, a huge massive beast, and trotted up behind the
young woman. He was closing in, so close he could almost pounce her if
he wanted...Then it happened. There was a throop sound as air rushed to
replace a large space suddenly vacated. A large broad mussel shrank to
become small, delicate and slightly pointed. Powerful paws became
dainty and fearsome visage became ... cute. 

Some things here...
"mussel" should be "muzzle", I think. The last sentence need a "," 
between "dainty" and "and fearsome", or the readers might think, on the first 
reading, that the paws became dainty and fearsome. I know I did. Now that's a 
strange concept. ^_^

Oh, and... "fearsome visage"? I don't know if it's because english isn't my, 
er... primary language, but it does strike me as odd, speaking about a dog. 
Even if it is Dog. Dunno how to change that, though. ^_^;

       His tail started to wag uncontrollably and self disgust washed
over him. His head and chest sunk to touch the ground leaving his butt
in the air; tail moving like he was readying for take off.

Why use a semi-colon? It's not like it's a new idea or something.
Nevertheless... Good Omens? ^_^

He inhaled
a deep breath before he barked and whined and made his dark eyes grow large
and sad looking.

    Kasumi started and turned around. There pawing at her feet, trying
it's hardest to look cute and not trying to look hungry, but looking
so all the same, was a rather small -- about the size of a Pomeranian
- dirty looking dog. He was crouched in, what was to her opinion, a
groveling pose. The little dog let lose a series of pathetic whines and
looked up at her.

    "Oh, aren't you a sweet little thing," Kasumi cooed as she bent down
to scratch him behind the ears. "I'm sorry I can't play with you. I must
be getting home now." She stood and turned to continue home. A small yelp
followed by a sad howl made her pause. She glanced behind her at the
'crying' animal. And Kasumi, being Kasumi, felt her heart melt.  She
turned once more to the dog and motioned to him. "Come on. Let's go home
and get you something to eat... Maybe a bath too. Oh dear, I hope father
won't object." And with that Kasumi and dog, trailing close behind,
returned to the Tendo dojo.

~~~~~

    The week, Ranma decided, had been the same crap as the one before. A
few over zealous fiance, followed by Ryoga and Mu Tsu, a vampiric teacher,
and Kuno. Yep, it got old.  He, Akane, and Nabiki were finished with school
for the day. They reached home chatting amongst themselves.

"We're home!" Akane shouted, taking her shoes off before entering the
house proper.

There was the sound of clicking claws on wood flooring, followed by the
sight 
of a small black fur ball rounding the corner
barking, tongue lolling out of it's mouth.
The next thing Ranma knew; was dog slobber on his face and the rancid
smell of bad breath. The dog, it turned out, was a great jumper.

Once again I wonder about the use of a semi-colon. It just doesn't do it, I 
think.

"Yaaaaarg!" Ranma squirmed, prying the excited furball from his face.

"Oh wow," Akane snatched the dog from him and crushed it to her chest.
"You are soooooo cute!" 

"Oh my, bad puppy!" Kasumi, arriving at the entrance, admonished. The
dog paid no attention and struggled against the death grip.

You should decide once for all if you're going to go with "the dog" or "Dog". 
Here, in the last sentence, we got things from his/its pov, so it should 
be "Dog paid no attention..."

Nabiki, unimpressed, headed for her room. She, as always, had business
to attend to.  

"Where did you find him? Can we keep him? What's his name?" Akane
asked.

"He followed me. It's okay with father. I haven't named him." The
answers came in short reply.

Now, it's Kasumi speaking. I don't think she ever talked like that, be it in 
the manga or the anime. But it's a nice counterpoint to Akane's storm of 
questions, I must admit. ^_^

Akane for all her hidden girlish glee, squealed. 

Hidden. Suuuuuure. Try something else, Akane. We don't _quite_ believe you 
there. ^_^

Ranma made a silent gagging motion.... Ooooooh, that dog saliva was
nasty..

Er... There's a superfluous point, and it lacks one just after. Me? Nitpicky? 
Nah.

Sticky, smelly, badness. His stomach lurched strangely and the bathroom
became his destination. Hopefully before his lunch revisited him.

Yummy. ^_^

Dog watched. The male/female, according to his nose, human entered a
door down the hall. The door clicked shut.

Well, I would have prefered "The male/female human, according to...", but I 
think it depends on people.

Hnnn, now what...There was a lot of information to puzzle through. And
in this form it was quite difficult. There were too many interferences.

The tail, for one , was driving him nuts... It had a mind of it's own.
All that wagging. Maybe later he'd teach it a lesson.

Sure, but first, he'll have to catch it. I can't wait to see that. ^_^

 For now he was
busy. The girl squeezed him again and he thought his eyes would pop
from his skull. 
Ouch.

Verily. One can only wonder how P-chan survived her repeated assaults. Though 
it could be worse. The name Shiratori Azusa comes in mind. Now that's a scary 
thought. Perhaps a rematch against the golden pair with Dog as the prize? ^_^

Ranma splashed water on his face. That had been unpleasant-very.

I might suggest a space before and after the "-". Just for the visual effect.

Oh, and one question... Did he use hot water? Because, usually, when you're 
feeling queasy, you're using cold water, no? I know I do, but I'm not cursed, 
so...

He scrubbed a bit. He had never smelled anything so rank in his life.
Deadly doggy breath. Even the smell of the boys' locker room, or Genma's
sweaty form in close quarters was preferable to that....smell.  

He stood, grasping a towel, dried his face. Ranma glanced in the mirror
and froze. It cost him dearly.  A hand shot out from the mirror with
incredible speed, and gripped hard and fierce at his neck.

Hummm... Can't wait to read the next one. It gets better and better.

Oh, it's in my mail box. Coooool. ^_^

OrcRys - http://orcrys.free.fr
-------
"What is this 'Reality' thing everybody's talking about?"
-------
"I haven't lost my mind. I'm pretty sure I backed it up on tape somewhere..."
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