Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this
fic... right now... if -when-I take control of Marvel I'll sue myself
so that justice is served, in the meantime, rest assured that it is
slowly on it's way.
X-mon: (The Strangest of Fics)
A Spamfic by Wanderer D
"Dr. Strange has become more... strange than normal..."
- Rad, after hearing what I had planned.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
A swirl of magical energy engulfed the room as Dr. Strange invoked the
spirit god of the sun; RA
At long last, Strange was strangely prepared for his strange battle with
the strangest of evils: Mephisto, otherwise known as Nicky.
True to his name, strange energies fluxed by, gathering around his circle
of strange protection.
[The actual rant was muttered in a dark and esoteric tongue unexplainable
and non-dubbable, so, we have taken the liberty of actually... making it
up. So... it's probably not what he said, although it's the gist of it.]
"Ra, I, Dr. Strange, invoke your power! Let the force of light force it's
way into the deepest cavern and home to darkness!"
The sun flared as Ra answered Strange's call and a ray of light sped
towards earth.
At that moment, though, Norin Rad, better known as Silver Surfer, was
orbiting around the planet that had turned his universe upside down.
Namely: Earth
Ra's ray, being light, hit the Surfer's head with a resounding lack of
sound -it's space, after all- and the silvery head reflected the light
into New York and more precisely, towards one of those abandoned
warehouses that seemed to be available every time a Super-villain needs
it for a fight or world conquering.
At that moment, The Super Villain formerly known as Magnus, now known
as Magneto, formerly friend of Xavier, now father to Pietro, was
fighting the superhero team known as the X-men, and their mentor, his
former friend.
Ra's ray transcended dimensions, and somehow managed to pass through the
ceiling and hit the X-men.
"What the?!" Wolverine, the local brawler and slasher muttered as he,
Jean, Storm, Beast, Jubilee, and Xavier were bathed in light, which
started to turn an unhealthy shade of Green.
Up in space, a battle was taking place. Silver Surfer had pissed off
his enemy, Thanos, and both were wreaking havoc with the Mystical
energy Ra was sending.
The afro mentioned god of the Sun wondered why his energies were not
arriving with Strange and decided to heighten the dose, sending waves
and waves of eldritch sunny energy which sped steadily towards the earth.
However, Thanos' shinny buttocks reflected this second wave and sent
it speeding through time and space, arriving at the nightmare world
for some people, and paradise for trainers...
Frustrated that his attempts were being thwarted by unknown forces,
Strange rose to the heavens and *demanded* Ra to get the f*** done
with it, which pissed the Egyptian to no ends, and he called his
godly powers, calling back the stray energy -which now glowed red-
and shot it back towards earth, and doubling the power in the process.
Thanos noticed a red beam coming his way and decided that he was
being attacked. Grabbing the Surfer's foot, he swung Norin Rad and
batted the energy, scoring a direct hit on the abandoned warehouse.
The light bathed the X-men again, and they... mutated... again.
When he saw his darling Jean becoming smaller, Cyclops, who had
avoided the beam, jumped forth mightily in a heroic and commendable
attempt to save his one true love... only to become dust when he
touched the beam.
Magneto, noticing this, wisely kept away from the beam as it flared
and bathed the area in light, preventing him from seeing anything.
When the light receded, he smirked, then grinned, then turned around,
trying to suppress laughter... and failed.
Where the once mighty group called the X-men stood... now stood the
'EX-MEN!'
***
True to villainous standards, Magneto left the place, intent on stopping
laughing some day.
"Wolverine? Jean? Storm? Jubilee? Beast?" A voice said hesitantly as
they started to regain sight.
"Professor?" Asked a female voice shakily. "I feel strange..."
"It's okay, Jean," Xavier answered, his vision still blurry. He could
make out small forms around him.
"SQUACK!"
"Yes, Ororo, I too feel..." Xavier stopped in mid-sentence.
"Did she just squa-" Jean stopped and stared at everyone. Like Professor
X, she had just recovered her sight, and she couldn't tear her eyes away
from the scene.
"Meowth! Meow!" Wolverine cursed.
Somehow, Jean could understand what he had said. "Well, Logan, you
shouldn't swear like that!"
"..." A mass of blue tentacle-like vines walked around staring at the
others.
Where Storm had stood, now stood a yellow bird, a cat, Wolverine, was
standing protectively next to a crying pup. Jubilee. A strange, cat-like
creature was struggling to stand next to the professor's overturned chair.
Finally she looked down at herself. And fainted.
***
"Zzzz"
"ROGUE!"
"Zzzz -snort- zzz"
"ROGUE! THIS IS THE PROFESSOR!"
"Uh?! Ah!" Rogue fell back and struggled to get to the computer.
"What is it, Prof?" She asked to the communicator.
"We have a situation here..."
"Ah, what kinda situation?"
"... just come and pick us up, will you?"
"Ah... sure, professor."
***
***
And thus, the new adventures of the EX-MEN are born!
Will they return to their original form?
Will Rouge become a Trainer?
Will Magneto stop laughing?
This, and many other questions -such as: 'IS Wanderer D drunk?'-
will be answered in the next part of...
THE EX-MEN!
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