Okay, so TM is best known as a video game. But the first game had an OAV
and TM is huge in Japan so in my book that's close enough.



Key to A Locked Heart
By
Skyrocket

	


Tomorrow is graduation day. It�s strange. When I first entered high
school I dreaded every new day. There were even days when I was sure I�d
rather quite school then get up and endure another day. 
But it�s not like that now. Now, as strange as it sounds, I wish school
could go on forever. And it�s not because I�m afraid to leave the world
of high school or to finally go out into the adult world (well, maybe
the last one just a bit). It�s because school is the place I think of
when I think of�him. And now that school�s almost over it�ll mean that
we�re going to be separated, most likely for the rest of our lives. 
I have to be strong. I have to be brave. Tomorrow isn�t just graduation,
it�s also my last chance. My last chance to say what I should have said
months ago. My last chance�to tell him that I love him.
It all started so simply. It was a few weeks into the first semester of
the first year at school. I�d wanted to be alone so I�d gone up to the
roof of the school thinking it would be empty. I was right so I spent
some time staring down at the schoolyard, watching the other students
talking, joking, laughing and all the other things normal kids my age
did. But I wasn�t a normal girl. I was a �strange� girl. 
That was when the roof access door opened and I first saw him. I hate
myself for it now, but my first reaction to seeing him was annoyance.
All I�d wanted was to be alone and now someone had come along and ruined
it. He was wearing a gym outfit so I guessed he�d just gotten out of gym
class and had come to the roof to cool off. He gave me a glance and a
nod and then went over to the end of the roof far from where I was. I
gave a mental shrug and went back to looking at the school yard. As long
as he was willing to stay over there and leave me alone I could live was
with sharing the roof.
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I almost didn�t notice him when he
came over and spoke to me a few minutes later. I'm embarrassed to say
this, but I don�t really remember exactly what it was he said now.  It
was just a casual comment, the type you might make to a stranger on the
street, but it was the first time since I�d started school that anyone
had made any sort of an effort to talk to me. 
After that he introduced himself. I was honestly a little annoyed by him
talking to me. Couldn�t he tell by the way I was standing that I wanted
to be alone? I remember wondering if he�d picked on my feelings simply
by the way I�d said �My name is Kaori Yae�.
We chatted for a few minutes about unimportant things and then he said
goodbye and headed for his next class. I thought I was glad to be alone
again. But then it dawned on me. I couldn�t really remember the last
time I�d had a simple conversation with someone like that. People kept
their distance from me and I stayed away from them. But for some reason
I realized I�d enjoyed that little chat with the boy I�d just met. It�d
been a very long time since I�d enjoyed doing anything with anyone.
I thought that would be the end of it, but I kept running into him again
and again at school. And like before we�d talk a little, almost always
about some aspect of school life, and then at some point one of us would
have to go and that would be the end of it. I tried to deny it, but more
and more I started to look forward to those moments. They were little
things, but they reminded me of how my life was before�no, I�m not ready
to think about that just yet.
Then one day the phone rang. It was him and he was asking me out on a
date. A real date. I almost dropped the phone I was so surprised. I
managed to get control of myself and, with a bit of courage I didn�t
know I had, said yes. We then talked for a bit, agreed to go to a movie
and were and when we�d met. 
Once I hung up I went back to my room and stared into my fishtank. A boy
had asked me, the strange girl, out on a date. Could it be that he
honestly liked me, or did he do it because he felt sorry for me? I may
not have been the sort of girl who had friends, but it�s just about
impossible to keep anything private in our high school. Even I�d heard
that he�d already gone out on dates with Hikari, Akane, Miho, Kaedeko
and a few of the other girls at school. Now it seemed he wanted to go
out with me.
He�d called me about the date Sunday evening and we were to go out that
Friday night. But all though that week of school the question of why
he�d really asked me out kept eating at me. And then suddenly it was
Friday night. I remember getting ready for our date, thinking that
maybe, just maybe, this could be the first step back toward being a
normal girl. I stopped to look in the mirror one last time before I was
to leave to meet him. I actually smiled a bit, thinking that I looked
rather nice.
That was when a voice in my head said �Wake up, Kaori! You know he�s
only doing this because he pities you. Normal guys like him go out with
normal girls like Hikari. Not with strange girls like you!�
I actually shouted �No, that�s not true!� out loud and even hit the
mirror with my fist. But the damage was done. Was he doing this just out
of pity? Could a normal boy really see something he liked in a girl like
me? Was it all part of some horrible trick? God, no, please don�t let it
be a trick! I couldn�t take being hurt like that again. 
Then I ran back to my room, crawled under my bedcovers, buried my head
under my pillow and cried for a very long time. Why couldn�t I be
normal? Why was I always alone? Why couldn�t I have a normal boy like me
for who I am? Why couldn�t I join school clubs, have friends and go on
dates like a normal girl? Why did my life always have to be this way?
I woke up the next morning still wearing the clothes I was supposed to
wear for my date. I looked in the glass of my fishtank and saw that my
eyes were still red from all the crying I�d done. I then got myself
cleaned up, changed clothes and thought about what he happened last
night. 
Why had I done that? I�d had a chance to be something like a normal
girl, if just for one night but I�d run away from it. It�s not like I
had any evidence anyone was trying to trick me. Maybe he just wanted to
spend some time with me outside of school. Maybe I was strange, but I
wasn�t out and out unpleasant to be around. Right?
Whatever the case I knew that I could have handled last night better. I
then gave him a quick call apologized and even offered an excuse. If he
truly believed that excuse or just played along with me I don�t think
I�ll ever know. But once I�d said I was sorry he asked me out again,
this time to the park. 
I almost dropped the phone again. After what I�d done he still wanted to
go out with me? Again I managed to find the courage to say yes. One
date, one taste of being a normal girl was all I wanted.
The day of our date I made it a point not to look at anything with a
reflective surface. I fixed myself up as best I could and then headed
for the park where he was waiting for me.
For the next hour or so we just walked in the park. We talked about
school, the park and even people we just happen to see walking by. Well,
he actually did most of the talking. Not because he was any sort of
motormouth or anything; it was because I couldn�t find it in myself to
give anything more than a very short answer to anything he said. I was
so overwhelmed by the fact that I was out on a normal date that I could
barely speak. No, that�s not 100% true. The fact that I was enjoying
myself, that I was enjoying the company of another person the way I was,
that honestly scared me.
It was when we sat down on a bench by the river that things started to
go wrong. That�s when he stared to ask me questions. Looking back on it
now I can see how harmless those questions were. Little things like what
did my parents do for a living, what kind of activities did I like,
where did I go to school before our school and that sort of thing. I may
think those questions weren�t anything now, just the normal types of
things you ask anyone you want to get to know better, but that�s not
what I thought then.
Why was he asking these things? Did he really care about my life? Did he
know about my past? Was he someone I could trust? No, I couldn�t trust
him no matter how nice he seemed. Not him or anyone else. Not after what
happened in junior high. 
I�d managed to dodge his questions for the mostpart, but the turmoil
inside me eventually got to much for me. I said something curt to him
and simply ran off. Just like a strange girl like myself would.
Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep again that night. 
At that point I considered whatever might have been between us to be
dead. I dreaded going to school more than ever before. Because I knew
that sooner or later I�d see him in the halls and he�d look at me
and�and it would hurt even more.
For whatever reason I didn�t see him at school for several days after
our date. Was he avoiding him? I made it a point to eavesdrop on the
conversations of some of the more gossipy girl at school to see if there
were stories going around about what had happened. They were indeed
talking about him, but it was only about how he�d recently gone out with
Miyuki. Had he keep what happened on our date a secret?
I spent the whole day thinking about what I�d learned and by the time
the last bell rang I felt wound as tight as a spring. I decided to break
from my normal routine of going straight home after school and to try
and relax by swimming for a bit in the school pool. One of the nice
things about Hibikino High is that students can use it�s pool after
classes on days when the swim team wasn�t practicing. Lucky for me today
was such a day. 
After changing into the swimsuit I keep in my gym locker I headed for
the pool area. Luck was still with me as no one else was there. I
figured I had maybe two or three hours to swim before the janitor came
by to close the place up. 
I�m not sure how long I spent doing laps around the pool, diving to the
bottom and seeing how long I could stay there and things like that. But
eventually I started to get tired and decided to climb out and rest for
a while. I was sitting by the poolside, not thinking of much of anything
when I realized that someone had walked up was standing beside him. It
was him, also wearing a bathing suit.
Oh no, here it comes, I thought. This is were he�ll say something to me
about what happened on our date. Why did I have to stay behind at school
on today of all days!?
But instead he simply said hello and asked if I liked to swim. That was
the exact opposite of what I�d been expecting, but I managed to cover
and told him that I did indeed like swimming. We then began our little
ritual of small talk all over again. I couldn�t believe it. After the
way I�d acted on our date he was totally willing to pretend it never
happened. Could this be a sign that he did really like me?
I was just starting to get into our conversation when he inadvertently
dropped a bombshell on me. He said he�d decided to join the school�s
volleyball team. I�ve loved volleyball since I was a kid, but with the
way I am around people I knew that actually joining at team would never
work. I knew I had the skill to be on a school team, but I also knew
that a team would never accept someone like me as one of them.
And now here I was faced with a boy who�d been very kind to me going out
and doing something I could only dream of. Somehow that just wasn�t
fair! Why should he be able to have those things and not me?
Just then he broke me from my inner thoughts by asking if I�d like to
swim with him. I got control of himself and said that had to be going. I
had just turned to leave when suddenly he asked me if I was free next
weekend.
Another date?! After what had happened the last two times he was still
willing to go out with me? Just what were his intentions toward me?
I don�t know if it was because I wanted to try and find out just what
his intentions toward me were, if it was to say I was sorry for the way
our late two dates had gone, if it was still that desire I had to be
like a normal girl, or some combination of all three but I again said
yes.
There was still about a week and a half before out date. I hadn�t even
talked to him about where we were going to go and yet I kept thinking
about it. And him. Maybe if I knew more about him I could figure out why
he keep asking me out.
I checked some of the school bulletin boards and found out that the
volleyball would be practicing in the gym that Friday after school. And
since he�d just joined the team it was likely that he�d be there. I
don�t know why, but for some reason I felt that if I could see him
playing the sport that meant so much to me I�d get some clue as to how
he felt about me. I know how silly it sounds now, but at the time it
made sense.
That Friday at practice time I snuck over to the gym and peeked in the
window. Sure enough, he and the rest of the volleyball team were there
and already in the middle of a practice game. I stood there and watched
him play. This may sound corny, but I believe that if a person truly
loves to do something then it will show when they�re doing it. I knew
that when I swam and played volleyball the happiness I feel shines so
that anyone who looks at me could tell I was enjoying myself.
I saw that exact same look on him as he played.
So we really did have something in common; a true love of volleyball. I
knew it was a small thing, but just for a moment then, I wanted to be in
that gym playing right by his side.
Just then he jumped up and slammed the ball over the net and straight
toward the floor. Two of the kids on the other team dived for it but
missed. As it turned out that was the point that won his side the match.
His team gave a victory cheer and I noticed one of the girls on his team
giving him an appreciative look. A look then said she was interested in
more than his abilities on the court.
After that I decided I couldn�t take it anymore and went home. I spent
several hours in my room alternating between staring into my fishtank
and glancing over at the volleyball that had lay unused for so long in a
dusty corner.
He called me a few days later to ask if I�d be interested in going to
the aquarium for our date. I smiled just a little when I told him that
would be fine. In addition to swimming and volleyball I also happen to
really like fish. All the hours I�ve spent staring into my fishtank can
certainly attest to that. Had he know somehow about how I felt about
fish or was this some lucky coincidence? I thought about that for a
while and then decided that just this once I wouldn�t care.
Considering how our first two attempts at going out had ended I was
nervous about what might happen this time around. But much to my
surprise the evening started off nice and stayed that way. The aquarium
had added several new exhibits since the last time I was there and we
ended up seeing almost all of them. We went to a dolphin show, the
penguin house, a small theater showing a documentary on some scientists
studying a deep ocean trench, several tanks with fish from all over the
world, the pens where the seals, walruses and sea turtles when kept and
even an exhibit on new types of undersea exploration vehicles.
  By then it was getting close to the aquarium�s closing time but I
wanted a last look at the tropical fish exhibit. Soon the two of us were
in front of the exhibit, staring at some fish that normally swim in the
waters of the Caribbean Sea. I remember whispering about how beautiful
the fish were. He then asked me if I liked fish. And that�s when it
happened. I turned to answer him but was stopped by his face. The look
in his eyes�it was so clear that even I could sense that he was truly
interested in my answer. I know it�s another thing that most people
wouldn�t consider very important but it cut me to the quick. 
I then got a hold on myself and managed to say that I did indeed like
fish very much. Then I found myself talking about the fish I kept in my
room and how I liked to watch them swim. I couldn�t believe I�d shared
something like that with him! I�d yet to tell anyone at school that I
liked fish, much less owned some.
But he only smiled and told my that my fish were lucky to be owned by
someone who must of cared for them very much. Once he said that I felt
my cheeks getting a bit warm? Could I be blushing�just a bit? No, I
couldn�t!
While I was dealing with that he reached into his coat and took out a
small blue box wrapped in yellow ribbon and handed it to me. He said it
was a thank you gift for all the fun he�d had on our dates. He said it
was also a belated birthday gift since he hadn�t known my birthday until
just recently.
I just stood there silent trying to figure out what to do. Should I open
it now? Later? What was it? How did he find out my birthday? And how
could he want to give me something after the way our previous dates had
gone?
I guess he read my indecision as embarrassment because he said that it
wasn�t anything special and that I could open it later at home if I
wanted. I just nodded, said a little �Thank you,� and slipped the
package into my pocket.  
Once I got home I headed for my room, sat down on the bed and opened my
gift. Inside was a small but beautiful piece of jewelry shaped like a
cat. I love cats just as much as I love fish and again I wondered if him
somehow knowing just the sort of thing I would like was just luck or if
he�d somehow gone to the trouble to find out my tastes. And if he had
gone though all that trouble why? Could it be that he liked me that
much?
As soon as that thought went though my head I discounted it. I suddenly
remembered that the school gossip mill had said he�d also given gifts to
the other girls he�d been seeing on their birthdays. And that whatever
they�d been given, the girls and been very pleased with it.
So what did that mean for me? That he was treating me the same as the
other girls he was going out with? Was that really a bad thing? If he
was going out with them and giving them birthday presents then he must
have seen something in them that he liked. What could it be that he sees
in me? Does he see anything in me, or was I right before and he�s just
spending time with me because he pities me?
It was all just to much to think about right then. No matter what
happened I�d have to thank him for the gift the next time I saw him.
Whatever his reasons for giving it to me, I couldn�t deny that I liked
it.
I sat the jewelry by my fishtank and then went to bed. In my dreams I
kept seeing fish swimming in the air interspersed with images of him
smiling.      
Things continued on like that for another few months. He�d call me up
every few weeks and we�d go someplace like the public pool, the
botanical garden, a movie or some such place. As before he always seemed
to pick some place that I�d like. And every time we�d do something I�d
find myself talking a bit more, smiling a bit more feeling�normal just a
precious bit more.
I enjoyed spending time with him, that much I was willing to admit to
myself. But was I started to have feelings for him? After what happened
in junior high was I really willing to let myself start to feel those
sort of things again? I found myself looking into a mirror a lot then,
trying to convince myself that it wasn�t true. But even I could only lie
to myself for long. Eventually I was able to admit it to myself; I did
have feelings for him. 
God help me.
I knew he was going out with other girls besides me and honestly that
didn�t bother me. He asked them out about as often as he did me so it
wasn�t as if anyone one of us was receiving any sort of special
attention from him. Besides, I was enjoying the time I spent with him.
And as sacred as I was about what I was feeling I didn�t want to stop
being around him.
At least that was how things were until that faithful ski trip. It was
just after new year�s and I�d found that my feelings for him were
getting stronger. For Christmas he�d gotten me a very nice pair of
volleyball shoes in just the right size and in a color I liked. I felt
like I wanted to die when I explained that I hadn�t gotten him anything.
He just smiled and said that if I�d agree to go on a ski date with him
next week that would be present enough.
I (with a little blush on my face) agreed and soon found myself digging
my old ski outfit from the back of my closet. I considered myself lucky
that I�d actually skied a few times before. I wasn�t very good, but at
least I�d be able to walk in my skis without falling flat on my butt.
Hopefully.
On the day of our date he picked me up in his parent�s car and we headed
for a ski lodge a few hours away, our usual small talk filling up the
drive. Once we arrived and secured out ski passed it was time to hit the
slopes. I felt my heart pounding a bit harder than normal then. Was it
because I was with him or was it in preparation for the skiing to come?
Whatever it was I started to feel better once we started skiing. To my
relief he wasn�t much better at it than I was. On our second run down an
easy slope he took a turn to fast and ended up in a snowbank. I remember
feeling scared that he may have been hurt as I skied over to check on
him. But just as I got there he managed to dig himself free. He then
turned at me and chuckled as he brushed some snow from his hair. I
remember thinking how he happened to look really cute then.
That thought made blush again. I hoped the cold on my face had hidden
it. I then said since he was okay we should get back to skiing. We then
did another three runs with no problem. But the fourth run was when it
happened.
I was almost to the bottom of the slope when I hit a rock and took a
tumble. As soon as I stopped and regained my wits I realized that my
left ankle hurt. I reached back to examine it to see if it was broken.
Over a lot of years of playing volleyball I�ve had my share of sprained
ankles so I know quite well how to tell a sprain from an actual break.
Lucky for me it was just a sprain.
That was the moment he skied up asking if I was okay. I looked up at him
to assure him I was okay but the look in his eyes stopped me cold. I saw
concern which was to be expected. But what I didn�t count on seeing was
fear. He�d honestly been afraid that I might have been seriously hurt.
He was probably feeling the same way I�d felt when I saw him crash into
that snowbank. 
But I�d felt that fear for his safety because�because�I was falling in
love with him! If he was worried about me in the same way could in be
that he felt the same way toward me?
No. No. No! It couldn�t be! Normal boys don�t fall in love with strange
girls! Not with girls like me! That�s just the way things are and I was
foolish to think otherwise! 
I quietly assured him that I was all right and said that we should get
going. Tomorrow would be our first day back at school and if we wanted
get back home in time to get enough sleep we should leave now. He seemed
a bit puzzled by my attitude but agreed.
It was on the drive home that I told him I didn�t think we should see
each other anymore. He actually almost lost control of the car for a
second but quickly regained it. Then he started to ask me why. I knew
this part would be hard, but god, it was more difficult than I ever
thought it would be. I wanted to ask him to tell me how he felt about me
right then and there more than I ever wanted anything in my life. But if
I did that and it turned out he didn�t feel the way I though he did
about me�I couldn�t even think of that it was so horrible.
All I would say in regard to his questions was that I though that this
would be best for both of us. After a while he gave up asking me things
and we finished the trip in silence. Neither of us said anything when he
dropped me off at home either. I remember watching him drive away and
just for a crazy moment wanting to run after the car and tell him that I
didn�t mean what I said and that I cared for him.
Instead I went back inside the house, changed, made myself a quick
dinner, watched a bit of TV and went to bed. I cried myself to sleep
again that night.    
The next day at school I found myself dreading seeing him in the halls
again. But by the time class was over I�d yet to see him. In a way I was
glad since I didn�t feel the pain I knew would come once I laid eyes on
him. But in another way I was scared, since that meant I�d have go
though tomorrow feeling the same sense of dread I�d had all of today. As
if that wasn�t enough it turned out that it was my day to help clean the
classroom. Normally this is done by two students, but the girl who was
supposed to help me was absent. 
 I was cleaning the chalkboard when I heard someone rapping on the class
door behind me. I turned and somehow I knew who would be standing there.
It was him. He said hello in a manner more reserved that his norm and
asked if we could talk. Part of me wanted to just start crying and
apologize to him right then. Instead I just turned back to the chalk
board and said I didn�t think I had anything to say to him.
Then he said if that�s how I felt that was fine, but that he had
something he wanted to say. I stopped washing the board and turned to
look at him again. He then said that if he�d done something to make me
mad or hurt my feelings that he was sorry. He said that he considered me
a friend who he liked to spend time with and whose friendship he didn�t
want to lose. And once more he asked me why I didn�t want to be around
him anymore.
Unbelievable. He was blaming himself again for my reactions to my
feelings for him. I couldn�t believe I didn�t realize it sooner. In
wanting to protect myself from my feelings for him I�d ended up hurting
him. I�d hurt the only person in so many years to show any real amount
of kindness. I�d hurt the person I�
While I�d been thinking all that he�d been waiting for me to say
something. I asked him if he really considered me a friend. He nodded
and said he considered me a very good friend at that was why he didn�t
want to stop seeing me.
And I knew, in my heart, what he�d said was absolutely true. He did
consider me a friend and he did like to spend time with me. After so
long I�d finally found one person whose words I could believe no matter
what. I�d found someone I could trust again.
I said that since those were his words I couldn�t help but believe them.
I then told him that what I�d said in the car was just an overreaction
to being embarrassed about him seeing me hurt myself skiing.   
   This time I was sure he didn�t believe my story but he let it pass
and offered to help me clean the classroom. The extra set of hands
helped the work go quicker, but not as much as the newfound lightness I
suddenly found in my heart.
Once we were done we walked to my house together, talking about everyday
things just as we always had. We when reached my house he asked me if
I�d be interested in going to the aquarium again this weekend. I
accepted, this time not even trying to hide the blush on my face.
I remember laying in my bed that night, turning the day�s events over
and over again in my head. I remember actually feeling scared whenever I
thought about just how close I�d come to driving him away. I thought
about how safe I suddenly felt knowing that I now had at least one
person I could trust. And I remember finally admitting to myself that I
was truly in love with him.
I went to sleep smiling that night. 

Skyrocket
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