At 10:31 AM 08-08-2001 -0400, James M. Zema wrote:

I can't really give you many details, as I didn't notice many
grammar errors that weren't deliberate.  Overall this was well
written and enjoyable.  You fit in the past history to back up what
had happened to Nabiki and the rest when it was needed and not to
much otherwise.  The only thing that was really jarring for me was
Ranma's speech, it was just a bit too rough in most places and
seemed rather out of place with the rest of his character.  Other
than that though, it was a nice story, well laid out and executed.

       More than a few people have commented to me that Ranma's
speech patterns are a bit too much. o_O  I guess I'll just have to
rethink things a bit concerning him.

       But I'm glad that you enjoyed the story.  Thank you for your
comments about it.  I'll definitely work on revising this story
even more with them in mind. ^_^

                                                       Lany
______________________________________________________________________
Delany Brittain
 turtyl@montana.com , turtyl@megami.net
 turtyll @ AIM, 19152118 @ ICQ
 http://turtyl.megami.net/

 Student, Uni. of Montana; Member, Studio YOGIPIGS; Aspiring, Author
-----

    Ranma-onna did her best 'Kawaii' routine, sparkles and all.
     "With a smile on my face and a song in my heart."
      --Saotome Ranma, "Kasumi and the Gaki" by Jack Staik

    "When it comes to hitting .400, (real) close is just like
     horseshoes and hand grenades, at least in the court of
     public opinion."
      --Rob Neyer, ESPN.com


The Megami Project -- http://www.megami.net/

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