Subject: [FFML] Re: Ranma Finally Decides
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 8/6/2001, 10:44 PM
To: "Cute Kitsune Kaydee" <fox1@colla.com>
CC: <ffml@anifics.com>

CKK wrote:


The dojo was utterly silent as Ranma stepped towards the crowd. He reached
behind his back and pulled out a small black box. Finding his beloved he
bowed on one knee and opened the box. He then poured cold water on his
head.
He became Ranma-chan for this.

"Will you marry me, Ono Tofu?"

Dr. Tofu became wide-eyed. Then he stammered. Then he fainted.

The women fianc�es just stared at her , at the doc , and then figured out
what he had said. Then all Hell broke loose.

Ordinarily I like to be more upbeat, but in this case I don't really know
what to say other than it was brief, which was a good thing. The punchline
is flat, I've seen the idea done dozens of times, and the execution on this
is poor. You could tell from the title and the set up that it was going to
be an 'unexpected choice,' and there's no effective build up for any humor
in this, IMO. I don't know what to say that would improve it, but as it is,
it doesn't work in the least for me.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

D.B. Sommer





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