Subject: [FFML] [FFML][MST] FUMA Pilot
From: SSJGohan9544409@aol.com
Date: 8/6/2001, 7:05 PM
To: ffml@anifics.com


I'm back!!!  I was banned for a week, and I promise to never do it again, 
whatever I did.  So here is a MST I did.  It is a project in the works.  The 
name is stil being determined BTW.


-- HTML Attachment decoded to text by Listar --
-- File: pilot.html

 PILOT

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Author's note: This is my first real attempt at MSTing. So please tell me
howI did. Oh 
yeah, the stuff in bold is the fic itself.
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In a not too distant future
About 3000 A.D.
There was a guy named Wonderboy
Who's no different then you and me
He was a writer at fanfiction.net
He had his whole freakin' life all set
He was about to get to first base
But the writers didn't like him so they shot him into space

We'll send him bad fanfiction
The worst we can find (falala)
He's going to have to read them all
And it will really screw up his mind (falala)

Now keep in mind he can't control where stories begin or end
Because he used to those parts to make a phone and call up some of his
friends

Strange Friend Roll Call![0]

Dittodeth! (What's up?)

Burntice! (I do not like to fuck Pikachu!)

Weirdboy! (Smurfs? Where's those smurfs? Must kill em'!)

Maaaaaaaaage! (We can hang out and all that good stuff!)

If your wondering how they eat and breathes
And other science facts (falala)

Well guess what we don't give a damn
So shut the hell up and relax

For Fucked Up Mystery Anime 3000

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SOH (Satellite of HAL)

[Wonderboy, Burntice are arguing, Dittodeth, and Weirdboy are standing
around... Mage is nowhere to be seen.]

Wonderboy: What I'm saying is that Serena is the type of person who could go
in many positions.

Burntice: Naw, How about Mars or Jupiter?

Wonderboy: Oh hi, we were just talking about which Sailor Scouts would
betteroff as a slut.

[In background: No we weren't!]

Welcome, this is the Satellite of HAL. We are just guys who got shot up into
space with no way to get back to earth.

Burntice: You got shot up into space, we were teleported here for no
particular reason.

Wonderboy [Changing the subject]: Where's Mage?

Dittodeth: Last I heard, he was exploring the place. Not much to look at...

Weirdboy: Why were we sent up here anyways? All I remember is you using the
5way phone to talk to all of us and then boom, we're here.

Wonderboy: I was wondering the same thing.

[Mage enters]

Mage: Hey guys, there's a theater here!

Burntice: Well that's good. At least it can give us something to do [Glares
at Wonderboy] while we find out how to get back home.

[Annoying beep starts. No one seems to hear it.]

Wonderboy: I'm sorry, geez.

Mage: Um... Hello?

Burntice: Just a second. And another thing, who made you boss? I noticed it
was you who did the introduction speech.

Mage: Hello?

Burntice: Will you shut up? [Turns back to Wonderboy] And one more thing...
Will somebody turn off that annoying sound!

[Mage walks over and pushes the button which is flashing and the sound
stops]

Mage: I was going to say that someone should turn off the alarm, but...

[Screen turns on]

Weirdboy: Where did that come from?

[Xing appears]

Xing: Welcome. I hope your journey was pleasant.

Mage: You sent us here?

Xing: Yes. It was all part of my plan to make all of you suffer with your
friend.

Wonderboy: By sending us out in the middle of nowhere?

Xing: I'm not finished yet. You see we found a bunch of fanfiction and we
were able to send them to you.

Wonderboy: And your point is...

Xing: Does Orca ring a bell?

Wonderboy: Yeah, it was a stupid movie about a... YOU WOULDN'T!!!!!

Xing: I did.

Dittodeth: Do what?

Wonderboy: He just sent a bunch bad fanfiction.

Xing: And all of you are going to have to watch them.

Wonderboy: ...........

Mage: What's Orca?

Wonderboy: I'll explain later.

Xing: The first choice is a Pokemon lemon called Ganja Valley. It's ton of
fun. Enjoy.

Mage: Where's a knife? [Stares at Wonderboy]

Burntice: I think a rack would be more appropriate.

[Switch scene to theater where all enter. Wonderboy is in the middle. On the
right are DittoDeth and Mage. To the left are Weirdboy and Burntice]

The author of this file takes no responsibility for any actions of others
Reading this file. The writer is in no way responsible for any possible
Injuries, property damage, and so forth. This file is for informative
purposes
Only.
[0]Weirdboy: The only injury you can get is from reading this.


Ganjaville part 1


Announce: Ash misty and Brock continue their journey searching for rare and
elusive pokemon lets join now.

Misty: Damn it Ash lost again

Ash: It's not my fault[0]

Burntice: It never is.

Wonderboy: Did you notice that he always loses?

Burntice: I think it's because it might get viewer wondering if he would
caught them in the next episode.

Mage: You could just slap him and he would lose. That's how much of a wussy
he is.

Pikachu: pika p[0] 

Mage(Pikachu): Ash hasn't fucked me yet. What kind of master is he?

Brock: according to this map We are in ganja valley.

Ash, Misty: GanjaValley[0]

All[bored]: Ganja Valley?

Brock: yes ganja valley home of the mystical herb witch makes any pokemon
obey[0]

Mage: Mystical Herb Witch?

Ash: maybe my charizard will obey me!

Misty: not likely

Togipi: preee!

(Ash falls on head for the one-trillionth time)

Ash misty and Brock start to walk till the reach the village

(Cut to team rocket)

James: hmmm a magical herb that's makes pokemon obey

Jessie: if we could get some we could capture pikachu[0]

Weirdboy: And have a three way!

[All of them look and Weirdboy strangely.]

Weirdboy: What?

Meowth: will you two knock it off? (Cut to village) Ash sea's a villager
holding a strange device that looks like a pokeflute[0]

Wonderboy: Mmmmm, Michelle...

Dittodeth: I wish she was here to do that thing with her flute.

Ash: excuse me but is this GanjaVille

Villager: (tokes up) cough cough man that's some good shit yeah man[0]

Dittodeth: Was he talking to Ash or just saying that to himself?

Brock: that must be the poke herb I have heard about where did you get that

Villager: over they're (points to building) at the dealer[0]

Mage: They're?

Wonderboy: Over they are?

[Both sweat drops]

Both: Like that makes sense.

Brock: the dealer hmm

Ash bolts on over to the house

Misty: ash wait up (she runs after him)

Enter Officer Jenny

Jenny: hey slow down what's the rush

Brock: ooooh sexy lady

Jenny: hey you what are you looking at

Brock: (trying to hide a huge erection) nothing

Jenny: doesn't look like nothing (she puts her hand down brocks pants and
plays with him)

Brock: err I got to go

Jenny: but this part doesn't want to leave (she continues to fondle him)[0]

Burntice: So wait. Didn't he want to fuck Jenny in the first place?

Wonderboy: I'm sure he does, but he a pussy when it comes to asking for it,
as you can see.

Mage: I thought Ash was the pussy.

Burntice: Ash is the wussy, Brock is the pussy. No, I take that back, both[0]
of them are pussies.

Wonderboy[Bored]: So which Jenny is it this time?

Dittodeth: There's more then one?

Mage: OK, the question is can she appear in Jerry Springer?

All: Yes!!!

Burntice: If they are all related...

Wonderboy: You better not finish that thought.

Weirdboy: This is so painful.

Dittodeth: The fanfiction or the conversation?

Weirdboy: Both.

Cuts to misty and ash at the dealer

Ash: wow look at all this stuff

Misty: yeah 

The dealer welcomes them and gives them some drinks spike with horny pills

Ash: (thinking) god misty is so hot I just want to fuck her know

Misty: (thinking) damn I am so fucking horny id even fuck seduce[0]

Dittodeth: Now I know what to get Weirdboy for his birthday.

Weirdboy: Bite me.

[Burntice laughs and everyone jumps him]

Ash: Misty fuck me!!!

Misty: oooh ash.

Dealer: here's a room you two

(They enter the room)

(Cut to Jenny and Brock)

Brock: ooh jenny 

Jenny: come on lets get going to my house 

(Brock gets in jenny's sidecar and they then enter the house) [0]

Mage: In which they crash into it. 

Wonderboy: And die a slow and painful death. 

Weirdboy-Burntice and Dittodeth: It's like they can read each other minds. 

Burntice: Well minions from hell usually can. 

To be continued[0]

Dittodeth: I hope not. 

(Play opening) 

Announcer: Will Brock Finally get laid? And will Misty and Ash screw their
brains out? [0]

Weirdboy(Announcer): Will Dittodeth finally get some? 

Dittodeth: More then you ever will. 

Stay tuned to for the next exciting episode of pokemon[0] 

[All of them leave the theater] 

[Back at the SAH] 

Mage: Well that was pointless. 

Wonderboy: At least it wasn't a Sailor Moon Hentai 

Mage: You read one? What was it like? 

Wonderboy: Weird, no very screwed up. It's about the scouts imagination
thesefantasies of Ami and this other scout fucking. 

Mage: Never mind... 

Wonderboy: And even stranger, it could[0] of been good. 

[Both shutter] 

Mage: What is Orca? 

Wonderboy: Huh? Oh this B-Movie that I saw about a killer killer whale. 

Mage: A killer killer[0] whale? Wonderboy: Trust me, you'd want to shoot
yourself before seeing it. (Mutters) and the director, and actors, and
producers and... 

Mage: So basically it's bad? 

Wonderboy: Goes up there with Mitchell, Invasion of the Pod People, and Plan
9 Form Outer Space. 

Mage: Ah... Will Xing... 

Wonderboy: No, thank God! 

Mage: Good. 

[Xing appears on the screen]

Xing: How is it so far?

Weirdboy: You mean it isn't over yet?

Xing: Oh, I forgot to tell you?

[Everyone groans]

Xing: Oh yes, there's a teleport near the wall, so you can send me your
reports on these "projects."

[Mage leaves]

Xing: Anyway, I hope you enjoy the... Just a sec, I'm getting a call.

[Presses buttons and trash flies out all over the room]

Xing: What the, HEY!!! What son of a bitch...

[Dittodeth turns off screen. A few minutes later, Mage reappears.]

Dittodeth: Where did you go?

Mage: I had to test the teleport. We can't use it to get home,
unfortunately.

Dittodeth: Yeah, too bad. By the way Xing got your "report."

Mage: Does he know who it was?

Dittodeth: I don't think so, but I know he'll find out soon enough.

[The screen moves to Weirdboy whose alone.] 

Weirdboy: Well I guess I'm left. Time to do the Time Warp! 

[Time Warp starts playing as he does it then the screen fades] 

Weirdboy (In darkness): Hey, I'm not finished! 

[Back at theater] 

Ganja valley part 2 Announcer: Last time on Pokemon Ash, Misty, and Brock
where in the strange land of GanjaValley where they where searching for the
magical pokeherb. [0]

Weirdboy: Where O.J. Simpson jumped out and stabbed them to death. 

Then Ash and Misty got stoned and Brock and Officer Jenny where about to get
it on.

(Jenny and Brock at Jenny's house)

Jenny: ill be right back let me go change into something more comfortable[0]

Wonderboy: In which she reappeared with a outfit with very sharp objects.

Dittodeth: Sharp objects?

Wonderboy [Shrugs]: I saw it in a Far Side once.

(Jenny ducks into the bathroom)[0]

Mage: When Brock suddenly blows up for no real reason.

Brock: ooh ok

(Cut to Ash and Misty)

Ash: Misty your so hot with those nice little tits and that hot tight little
ass.

Misty: Shut up and fuck me

(Misty jumps on top of Ash and rips off his clothes)[0]

Weirdboy: Did you notice that the clothes they were in these stories are
cheaply made?

Dittodeth: I think that's record time. Impossible in real life, but still
record time.

Ash: oh misty

(Ash then removes Misty's clothes)

(Misty then shifts her body into a 69 position)

Misty: Ash my flower of love is dripping with nectar come and enjoy its
sweetness.[0]

Mage: Oh god...

(Ash then eats out Misty while she starts to suck him off)[0]

[All pretend to throw up.]

Mage: Oh the HUMANITY!!!!!!!!

Wonderboy: Someone shoot me now!

Burntice: What's wrong with it?

Wonderboy-Mage: What an idiot!

[Mage nods]

Burntice: I meant crap! What the hell is this?

[Both nod at Burntice]

Dittodeth: I will never read another porn again.

Weirdboy: Want to see the new Hustler?

Dittodeth: Hell yeah!

[They read it while everyone else is trying to do something else to avoid
thepresent scene]

(Cut to Brock and Jenny)[0]

Mage: It's over!

All: Yaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WE hear a champagne bottle being opened.

(Jenny comes out dresses in some skimpy lingerie)

Jenny: Do you like this? 

Brock: Jenny you are so sexy.[0]

Burntice (Jenny): Do you like this?

Mage(In some strange girly voice) Jenny you are so sexy.

[All laugh]

Jenny: Brock I have been so horny lately lets just cut the crap and get down
to business.

(Brock undress)

Brock: ok know your talking.

(Begin Cheesy porn music)[0]

Wonderboy (Imitated an announcer at an award show]: And the winner for most
unoriginal score heard in a porn or Hentai fiction is... this fic!!!

[Weirdboy stands up]

Weirdboy [In strange voice]: I'd like to thank the Academy and my producers,
you were so important to my work.

[Sits down]

(Begin explicit sex scene)[0]

Wonderboy: After that Ash/Misty sex scene, I thought I was in hell.

Dittodeth: We all thought that man, trust me.

(Cut to team rocket)

(Team rocket walking down the streets of GanjaVille)

James: So this is GanjaVille?[0]

All [Bored]: Yes, it is.

Jessie: Look at all the Mary J Wanna.

James: You know about this place Jessie?

Jessie: oh yeah my friends and I used to come here all the time to score us
acouple of lids.

Meowth: I am going to be looking around for a friend of mine c ya later. 

James: you to Meowth?

Jessie: Cya later Meowth.

(Meowth walks off in search of his friend)

Jessie: Come on I got something I want to show you.[0]

Burntice: This story!

James: ok

(Cut to Meowth)

Meowth (thinking): oh man it feels good to be back in the old neighborhood.[0]

Mage: The drugs, the sex...

Burntice: You're thinking of Fritz the Cat by R. Crumb

Wonderboy: Which was ripped off by Ralph Bashki.

(Meowth turns around a corner and enters a building)

Meowth: hey you got any acid?

Counter dude: yeah man how much you want?

Meowth: whatever you got.

Counter dude: all we got is 3 hits

Meowth: ill take it[0]

Mage: Then the counter dude takes a huge mallet and smashes Meowth's head
three times.

Wonderboy: Thus spurting out his brains.

Burntice: Who here knew they were going to say that?

[Everyone raises their hands]

Counter dude: that will be 15 bucks.

(Meowth hands the guy 15 bucks the guy hands mouth the acid)[0]

Wonderboy: Hand mouth the acid?

[Dittodeth whispers to Wonderboy]

Wonderboy: Ah. I see.

(Meowth is about to leave when Cassandra walks in)

Meowth: ahh Cassandra (his eyes light up and kind of resemble hearts)

Cassandra: Oh Meowth I missed you 

(Cassandra then gives Meowth a big kiss)

Meowth: meeooth ya ya ya wahoo[0]

Weirdboy (Meowth): Get me away from her!!!

(Meowth Calms Down)

Meowth: so what are you doing here?

Cassandra: I'm looking for a ingredient to use in my potion. Excuse me sir
doyou have any acid?

Dude: Knah some talking Meowth bought the last of it

Meowth: Cassandra I got some you can have (hand her the tabs)

Cassandra: Meowth how can I ever repay you. Hey I know (she then picks up
Meowth and runs over to her Hotel room.

(Cut to Brock and Jenny)

(Continue fucking)[0]

Mage: Straight to the point I see.

(Cut to Ash and Misty) Ash: ooh Misty you taste so good. Misty: ahh oohh Ash
I'm gonna cum. Ash: yum yum munch munch slurp ahh.[0]

[Everyone shivers]

Misty: Fuck me know.[0]

Weirdboy: MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!

Ash: yes Misty.

(Ash then takes Misty doggie style)[0]

Mage: Which Misty would know so well.

[All stand up and applaud Mage]

Ash: Misty your so tight.

Misty: ahh my tight little pussy cant take much more[0]

Dittodeth: So she's a dog and a pussy?

Wonderboy: Is that possible?

Mage [Shrugs]: Who knew.

(Ash and Misty then screw each other's brains out)[0]

[All scream in terror]

(Cut to Meowth and Cassandra)

Meowth: I know your going to like this (she removes her top revealing her
firm round breasts and her rich pink nipples.)

(Meowth nosebleeds)

(Cassandra pulls off her pants and then strips the rest of the way)[0]

Mage: I wonder if this is possible.

Cassandra: Meowth I have always wanted you ever since you helped paras
evolve.

Meowth: Cassandra I want you to.[0]

Dittodeth: To what?

Weirdboy: To stop this fic!

(Begin mindless screwing)[0]

Dittodeth: I think they're trying to make a point.

Weirdboy: Which is?

Mage [In deep voce]: Seeing Pokemon fuck is fun and educational!

(Cut to peeping tom)

Peeper: look at those monsters!
She's Insane![0]

Mage (Cassandra): At least he's getting some and your not.

Weirdboy: And neither is Dittodeth

Dittodeth: Shut up!

(The peeper looks down at his pants)

Peeper: Shit anyone got a towel?

Announcer: well it seems Brock Finally got laid. Misty and ash screwed the
bejesus out of each other and Meowth got some pussy. [0]

[Everyone makes a raspberry at that bad joke]

But what about Team Rocket? What is this thing that Jessie wants to show
James?[0]

Mage: Who cares?

To be continued

Well that's it for know don't know when the rest will be done 

MST are welcome [0]

Wonderboy: Already covered.

---- Cyrax777 [0]

Weirdboy: Hey the robot from MK3 with 777 added.

you can e-mail me any comment at cyrax777@hotmail.com [0]

[Burntice starts making a email bomb, but fails]

'Flames will be deleted[0]

Mage: [DELETED]

if you do mst this please send me a copy[0]

Mage: Trust me, we will.

[Everyone leaves the theater]


[Back at the SAH][0]

Wonderboy: We are free!

All: Free! Free! Free! Free! Free! Free! Free! 

[Xing appears]

Xing: I see you got through the first project.

Burntice: And that's the best you could do?

Dittodeth: Don't provoke him.

Xing: It's ok, that was just a test.

Wonderboy: A test...

Dittodeth: Which means...

Mage: That we hafta...

Burntice: Go through this...

Weirdboy: Again?

Xing [Not looking] : Exactly.

[All faint]

Xing [Turns back]: So I was thinking that... Hello? Is anyone there?

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyrighted by Best Brains

The story is from Cyrax777 (cyrax777@hotmail.com) I have his permission to
MST it.

An apology to Cyrax777 also.

FUMA Theme by Wonderboy (Sorry, I don't know who did the original for the
show, Joel Hodgerson I think.)

This fic was inspired by Silent Steel's stories. But I don't know her email,
but you can read her stuff at
http://www.darknessrising.com/Fanfiction/SilentSteel/

I have no idea who did Mitchell, Invasion of the Pod People, or Orca. Plan 9
>From Outer Space was created by Edward D. Wood Jr. All of these are real
films and if you actually want to see them, then check your local video
store. Mitchell and Invasion of the Pod People were actually used in MST
episodes and are also out on video.



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