Hmmm....to quote Ash from Army of Darkness: Groovy.
I actually liked this a lot. A hell of a lot. So much so, I sat there for
like 10-15 minutes trying to find what it was that struck me as off on it.
In fact, it wasn't until I read a couple of other works that it came to
me...
IF (and this is an IF the size of Jupiter) there is one thing I'd work on,
it's the whole flow of the work. The one-statement paragraphs...punch
lines, I suppose they could be called, don't seem to work entirely right to
me. By saying that, I mean they work 95%, there's just a little bit that
strikes me as off. My opinion only, and I'm willing to admit it could only
be my stylistic preferences getting the better of me.
A great work.
--
Christopher Angel
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'