Linda Shen wrote:

hey all, i haven't posted in a while, and this just came to me last night, short and sweet. =)  All commentary welcome. =)

 On this list, when isn't it? :p

DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi.  No profit is being made from its use in this work of fiction, and no infringement is intended.

ARCHIVE: Phu, Reddeath, and Rakhal have my express permission.  Everyone else please ask (echonymph@msn.com).

RATING: G (wow, I think it's my first one!)

SUMMARY: introspection and water

 Missing caputalization on that first 'i'.

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There are little things sometimes that surprise me.  Hints of affection and odd bits of kindness that startle me out of my careless reverie.  And in those moments, it's very hard to bite back the curiosity that seizes me each time those mercurial blue eyes glimmer in friendliness.

 Kasumi.

But it's okay, it doesn't happen very much.  The temptation fades, as does the low ache in my heart, it all goes away, with time.

Do I love him?  Not yet.

 Uh-oh.

But am I fascinated?  Very.

It would be nice if I had the opportunity to find out more about him, to share with him more than simple day-to-day pleasantries.  Sometimes, I'm tempted to sit down at his side and just incite a long, lazy conversation, to see where it leads us.  He has the perfect voice and perfect disposition for lengthy, rambling talks.  The type of inane chatter that you share with a close friend when both of you are in a good mood.  The type of chatter that leads to laughter and carefree idiocy, the type of chatter for which everyone that has ever been lonely yearns.  He must have so many stories, so many things that he could talk about.  He's been everywhere, seen everything.

I'm certain he wouldn't be adverse to it, sometimes, it seems like he stops himself short of starting one of these conversations himself.

 Undoubtedly his 'people' skills are a wee bit undeveloped, when you consider his training and life on the road...

I think we both know that we can't be friends.

Not friends like that.

 And _I_ think she's giving him a little too much credit. Which ties in nicely with the idea that she loves him more than she's ready to admit, when you really _look_ at this piece.

 People in love do that, you know.

 Er. So I hear. ^_^;;

Personalities are strange.  I was once told that I was like a brook, soft, liquid, smooth.  When I face adversity, I merely flow over and around it, slowly wearing the sharp points away until nothing but a rounded, yielding curve is left.  Ranma has always been characterized as whitewater, rapid, forceful, overwhelming.  When he faces a problem, he fights it every step of the way, blowing his opponents out of the water.

 Whitewater rapids are most dangerous because of under-cut rocks, from what I remember. The intense current just grabs you and takes you into the depths without letting go.

 That's awfully apropriate to that image, too. At least, that's how it works in my mind. :p I liked it.

I have always thought that it was symbolic that brooks often flow into whitewater, and that whitewater often flows back into brooks.  They're both made of the same material, same composition, but they react so differently to the world.

 Essentially rapids are more compressed -- same intensity, tighter focus. Again, this works well with the symbols you've chosen.

And when I let myself think about it more deeply, I realized that when one  mixed whitewater and brook, one created eddies, small swirls of concentrated  force, and fast river.  Should Ranma and I ever interact, should we ever mix  and meld and fall, we'd make an exciting body of water indeed, possessing  both the pace and peace that any of a million people desires.

 Woo! Kasumi, you wild-woman, you!

But both brooks and whitewater are still bound to the earth, the lumbering, immovable structure of loam and stone.  We're still directed by the way that ground is shaped, made wider or thinner based on how long the Earth tolerates our existence.

 Not entirely.

 Rivers change course, they adapt to the environment. They cannot truly be contained, and if they are, they simply build until they can overcome the obstacle. Ironicaly, that still fits, because it might not be something Kasumi sees.

Akane is our earth.

 Should 'earth' be capitalized here? It is earlier.

I love her; she's a wonderful girl.  Bright and kind and funny and warm, perhaps a tad *too* vivacious for Ranma's well being, but she never means it.

 Never means it... the double meaning of that bit is... harsh, if unintentional.

Akane and I have an agreement, she lets me flow where I will, as long as I take my time carving my path.  We are comfortable with each other, familiar.  My actions are age-old, the same they as are today and tomorrow as they were when she was six years old.  I will always be Kasumi; I will always be her kind and loving older sister.  I will always smile at her, regardless of what she's done.

 Whee! I got it right! What's my prize? ;)

But Ranma -

Ranma fights.

He is not used to being confined, to having someone control or care about his actions.  His furious waves and incredible speed keep slamming against the rocks that Akane has so carefully placed about his boundaries, angry and confounded that someone would try to contain him.  He wants to run; he wants to be free; he wants to tease and jeer and yell, but he also wants the earth to nourish him.  He has not learned to bend, he has not learned to accept, and he has not learned to be gentle.

And I fear he never will.

 Somewhat. There has to be some give on both ends -- the rocks stem the tide, even as the waters soften the stone.

But for the time being - the earth still loves him.  Still cares for him, is still as possessive as always, cutting two clear and divergent paths for my brook and his wild water.

 Capitalization on 'Earth' again?

"Here you go, Ranma-kun.  Please, have some tea," I say.

Maybe one day Akane will learn that wild water is not made to be tamed, that Ranma will not be the Ranma that she is fond of if his crashing waves are broken to tiny ripples.  Maybe one day Akane will see that she cannot care for him the way that she wants to, not without crushing his spirit.

 Heh. The essence of something I won't mention here, since it would be a shameless plug. :p

 But in my mind, again, a very nicely done bit.

Maybe one day Akane will let the brook and the whitewater come to a delta together, and maybe she will forgive them if they create eddies and fast rivers.

He smiles at me, blue eyes flashing and the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin.  "Thank you, Kasumi."

But until then, the brook will just cut a different course around it, saying, "Please," and the whitewater will keep rushing, a smirk on its face, always whispering, "Thank you."

 It would be interesting to see Ranma's side of this same piece, if he's aware in any fasion of it. Or perhaps a bit from further down the road, should it become possible...

 Or perhaps you're done with this bit, and can lay it to rest. :p

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Notes:

Wow, this one was short.  Amazingly short.  I don't know where the inspiration came from (but if I was to hazard a guess, I would have to blame this story on siaru *cough*oott*cough* < inside joke, don't worry about it ^_^).  I do, however, remember that the reason I started writing this story was that I couldn't get the words "please" and "thank you" out of my mind.

 Interesting where we find inspiration.

That politeness, it's a killer.

Also, I find that music obviously doesn't affect my mood at all because  while writing this I had the B52's "Love Shack" on repeat on winamp.  *lol*

 Music affects me a lot, so milage may vary. ;) Just try 'Canta per Me', and 'Salva Nos' as your background music at some point.

 Ultimately... a very well written, enjoyable piece. I liked it a lot, and apologize  if I can't add anything more constructive. Well done, Shen-san.