Christopher Angel wrote:
Brian,
I want to like this. I really do. But it's just a little...well...TOO
much of what it is.
How can I explain....here's a good example. Take fog in a game. Now, let's
say you're trying to generate a sort of horror-movie surreal environment in
said game. Too much, while in truth might be more scary, ruins the game.
Too little, on the other hand, will in fact lessen the effect.
In my above example, Brian, you've got so much fog you can't see the end of
your nose.
Hence the 'surreal' note.
I was trying to write in the style of Doug's 'Soul of Ice', or Nanashi's
unoficial SoI, "Deus ex Machina".
http://fanfic.tass-anime.com/Soul-of-Ice/
http://www.rakhal.com/hosted/Nanashi/ranma.deus-ex-machina
Beyond that, it tackles some -- frankly -- confusing issues, the least
of which is the nature of Dao.
Now you can see why this story was removed from my website... and
evidently shall remain so removed. I can't really re-write it to be
clearer without disrespecting Durandall, and he, well... I lost him to
make it. Changing it... *sigh*
--
Chris Angel