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The FFML Refugee List
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Black EVA
An Evangelion Self-Insertion
By: Master Jahaj
---------------
Disclaimer:
The characters, situations, and other junk involved in this series belong
to other people. If they want to sue, they can have my computer full of
bootleg software.
* - * - * - *
" " - Spoken
< > - Thoughts
CAPS - Screaming
* - * - * - *
Last time on Black EVA:
"I'm not changing who I am to fit into NERV's idea of a nice little kid."
<Why do I have to end up with a bunch of wimps and assholes as pilots? >
"Name's Mike, 4th child."
"What do you mean 'I was right?!'"
"You're talking about Misato being some sort of pervert and you're saying I'
m rude for interrupting you?!"
"Here's a plug suit, change into it. You're riding with me."
"Asuka, It's headed this way. Let's move it!"
* - * - * - *
Chapter II: Fishing with Dynamite
* - * - * - *
"Hello, NERV delivery!" Misato said cheerfully as she entered the bridge.
"Would you like to order information on this enemy and countermeasures to
use against it?"
"This is a combat situation!" The Captain angrily stated. "No unauthorized
personnel allowed!!"
"This is just my opinion, but I'd say this was an angel attack." She
helpfully supplied.
"All Ships fire at will!" The Captain ignored her.
"Pointless," Misato smirked, already knowing the outcome. <Why would an
angel be here? Oh God, is it after the EVAs? > She thought as the torpedoes
impacted the Angel just before it downed another ship.
"Misato!" The comm crackled. "Are you there Misato?"
"Asuka? What are you doing? Where are you?" she asked snatching the mic away
from the Captain.
"I'm in my EVA," Asuka said as she prepared to move, "Mike and Shinji are in
his. Listen, we need the umbilicals connected so we can fight this thing."
Misato paled slightly, "Asuka, we only brought one cable."
* - * - * - *
Asuka paused, "One cable? You have two EVAs and only brought ONE cable?!"
Misato was about to respond when Mike cut her off. "Asuka, It's headed this
way. Let's move it!"
Not hesitating, Asuka jumped away from the cargo ship as the Angel tore
right through it. She landed on an adjacent Cruiser, holding the protective
tarp around her like a cape. "Alright Mike, head for WHAT THE HELL?"
* - * - * - *
Lets step out of this scene for a moment and take a look why Asuka is
scared/confused/surprised at what she's looking at something out of the
ordinary. First, she is looking at Mike's EVA. The fact that the EVA is
basically the same shape as hers and the two in Tokyo 3 (2 arms, 2 legs,
head and torso) isn't what has her in this state. Neither is the glossy
black paint job that made it look like a melted shadow. No, the thing that
has Asuka in such a state of panic is the large insect-like shell on the
back of the EVA. Take into account that no one really cared to look at Unit
03 while it was being loaded or that no one went to see it at any point
during the trip made it's sudden appearance a shock to almost everyone who
saw it standing on top of a missile frigate with it's glowing red eyes.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic already in progress.
* - * - * - *
"...the hell is THAT?" almost the entire bridge asked at the same time. The
almost is because Kensuke just started drooling and his eyes glazed over at
the sight of the two Eva units.
"MISATO!" Mike screamed "You've got 55 seconds ta get that umbilical hooked
up or Asuka's chum for the fishies!"
"You heard him" Misato whirled on the Captain, "Get that power cable hooked
up NOW!"
"But..."
"No buts! Just do it!"
The Captain looked about ready to protest when another ship went down.
"Commander."
"Already done, sir."
The Captain let out a deep breath, "I just hope you know what you're doing."
* - * - * - *
Meanwhile, back at the EVAs.
"Alright Asuka," Mike said, "You remember how to play hopscotch?"
"Of course dumkof."
"Then last one to the carrier wears a dress at the party later." With that,
Mike jumped onto a convenient Battle cruiser.
"Then you're goin' in drag arschloch." Asuka promised as she jumped to an
S&R vessel.
"YOU TWO ARE CRAZY!!!" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs.
Mike stopped the EVA and glared at Shinji through his sunglasses. "We are
not crazy jackass." Shinji let out a breath. "We're completely and utterly
insane, there's a difference!" Mike continued happily.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH!" Shinji screamed (bet you didn't figure that
one out) as Mike and Asuka landed on the carrier at the same time.
The Carrier groaned and sank down a few dozen feet as the EVAs crash-landed
on the deck. After a second, it buoyed up and shifted under the sudden
weight.
"Plug me in." Asuka demanded as she handed Mike the umbilical.
Mike shoved the plug into Unit 02. "Got ya. Let's toast this thing."
"Mike," Misato came over the comm. "Shutdown and let Asuka fight this thing.
You don't have the battery life to attack."
Mike chuckled, "Misato, I've got a backup generator with 9 minutes 14seconds
left on it and I still have a full battery. As long as I don't really screw
up, I'm good to go."
<Backup generator? > Misato thought. Before she could inquire the Angel
jumped onto the ship, pitching it almost to the point of capsizing before
yawing back to a near-level position.
"DAMN! Mike, can you get to your Progressive Knife?" Asuka asked, pinned
underneath the aquatic Angel.
"Negative. The damn thing landed right on top of me. I can't even SHIT!"
The Angel decided it had spent too much time basking in the glow of the sun
and scooted off the carrier, dragging Unit 03 along with it. Asuka almost
joined them, but was able to grab hold of the ship before slipping off.
"MIKE!"
"SHINJI!" Asuka and Misato screamed respectively.
"We're alright Misato." Shinji replied. "The Angel has us in it's jaws. Mike
says he's going to try something."
"He won't do anything crazy will he?"
"Misato," Asuka deadpanned, "This is Mike you're talking about."
"YOU'RE CRAZY!!" Shinji came over the comm.
"Shinji, what did I tell you earlier about me being crazy?" Mike lazily
asked.
"What's going on? What are you doing Mike?" Misato demanded.
"Progressive Blade engaged." Mike responded, "Come on fishy, it's supper
time."
"WHAT?!"
"The core's inside the thing's mouth. I can't maneuver in the water so I'm
going to have the Angel eat me so I can stab it and blow it up." Mike
explained.
"Mike! That's suicide! Can't you figure something else out?" Misato pleaded.
"Here it comes." Misato could almost hear the maniac grin on Mike's face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH!" Shinji screamed again.
"Mike! Shinji! Are you there?" Silence only met her pleas. "Shinji? Mike?"
Silence.
Misato fell into a chair, her face turning pale at the thought of losing
both Shinji and Mike in the same battle. Her mind shutdown and she dropped
the microphone at the continued silence. The Commander wasn't going to like
this.
An explosion and surge of water pulled Misato out of her depression. A black
blur and wild rocking had her out of her seat and staring down at Unit 03
spread-eagle face-down on the deck.
"Misato," Mike's voice crackled through the comm system. "The Angel's dead,
can I take a break now?"
"Uh.sure Mike. What ever."
"Thanks. Computer, shutdown all systems. Goodnight." With that, Mike passed
out.
* - * - * - *
"The new pilot is full of surprises," Commander Ikari commented after
watching what little video there was on the battle with the Angel.
"That's because he's psychotic." Kaji stated while staring out the windows
of Gendo's office. "He shouldn't be a pilot. He takes too many risks and is
totally unpredictable. The worst thing is that STEELE can't find anything on
him."
"That is, unfortunate, but acceptable so long as he doesn't interfere with
our plans."
Kaji snorted, "He destroyed the deck of the carrier and numerous smaller
damages to other vessels. That should tell you something about his
stability."
"A minor concern. Most of the ships were scheduled for decommission or major
overhauls within the next few months." Gendo relaxed and opened the case in
front of him. "As long as we have this though, our plans are right on
schedule."
* - * - * - *
"And how are we doing this morning?" Ritsuko asked as Mike finally woke up.
"Blarg. I feel like I got in fight with a Scott and lost. How bout you?"
Mike groaned and draped an arm over his face. "Can I have my shades now?"
"I'd like to give you a quick exam first if that's alright."
"No problem Doc. But I can already tell you I'm healthy in body, but screwed
in the mind." Mike said as he opened his eyes and looked at her.
Ritsuko chuckled, "Let me make my own." Her clipboard clattered to the
floor. "Oh, God."
To Be Continued.
* - * - * - *
Author's notes:
Yeah, I save the day. So what, who cares? This is one of the few time's I'll
get something right. I did like the fishing thing from the show but really
thought the EVA should have been eaten so, I did it.
As for the thing with the glasses, that.is a secret.
Send any C&C to Starbase6@aol.com.
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Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee
anime fanfics available at
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