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____________
Opening Theme - "Endless Strength"
Watashi wa hitori de
(I am alone)
Yami no naka de aruite
(Walking through the darkness)
Kono kagayaku no te wa
(With this shining hand)
Mugen no aozora ni hirogaitai
(I want to reach for the infinite blue sky)
DAAKU YU NAO!
(Dark you now!)
Genkai made, UI UERU FURAI HAI
(Until the limit, we will fly high)
Mugen no chikara, mugen no BURUSHITTO
(Infinite power, infinite bullshit)
Kono ore no naka, kitto aru!
(Truly exists inside of myself)
___________
[ The scene opens up at night, in the wide expanse of a courtyard somewhere. Traditional oil-lamps light the
circumference of a perfectly circular pit set in the courtyard. Somewhere off in the distances, drums are
playing rhythmically in a steady, but excited pace. People are lined up all against the walls of the
courtyard, some of them pacing impatiently. A lone warrior stands in the middle of the ring itself... he is
a tall, muscular man perhaps 5'9", wearing a dignified red cloak that conceals his entire body. His hair is
also obscuring his eyes from sight. The man is standing completely still. ]
SPECTATOR: He's late.
SPECTATOR: It's already past nine o'clock... where *is* he?
[ A shrimp of a man appears from the crowd, grinning and laughing like a hyena. ]
SHRIMP OF A MAN: Maybe he chickened out already, knowing that he was going up against the great Master of
Earth himself, Baru Kaisa!
[ The man in the red cloak barely nods in acknowledgement. ]
BARU: We must be patient. Even if the world shall end, there will always be chaos.
[ Time passes. The crowd begins to become gradually more restless and rowdy, until suddenly, Baru looks
upwards at the sky. Some of the crowd looks up as well. ]
BARU: This feeling... what is it? I sense distress.
[ There is a subtle rush of air... subtle, that is, until it grows louder as something black and huge streaks
from the sky towards the courtyard. ]
SPECTATOR: What the hell is that?!
SHRIMP OF A MAN: It's him, it's him! It's gotta be him!
BARU: Stay calm, everyone.
[ Baru takes a firm horse stance, poising himself as the thing streaks closer towards the assembled people.
The thing comes crashing down in a massive explosion of dust and debris, causing a huge rumble to echo
through the courtyard. People file around aimlessly as they try to regain their field of vision. Baru, on
the other hand, just stays there. Gradually, the dust clears away... to reveal a tall, black-haired man
wearing a black cloak wrapped around his body. He has some sort of weapon slung on his back. ]
BARU: It's you...
SPECTATOR: Took you long enough! What was the holdup?!
MAN IN BLACK: There was traffic on the 60.
[ He unslings the weapon from his back. It's a finely crafted six-string guitar, black in color. The body is
black. The strings are black. Even the frets are black. Across the bottom is the word "ASHURA" printed in
elegant, Gothic Sans MS 35-point font. However, since the letters are black, the word itself isn't
visible. ]
BARU: The time has come. We have challenged you in order to recompensate for the grievous offense that you
bestowed on us. Now, face the repercussions of your action, and prepare to back your words with your
mettle!
MAN IN BLACK: ....
[ The Man in Black turns his back to Baru. ]
MAN IN BLACK: You're already dead.
BARU: ... what?!
MAN IN BLACK: You just don't know it yet.
[ The Man in Black looks up just enough so that a corner of his left eye can be seen. He sets his guitar on
the ground and leans one foot on the body as he starts to talk in a quiet, deathly voice. ]
MAN IN BLACK: You were doubtlessly distracted by my entrance into the arena. During that time, I took the
liberty of working the most lethal of my Koutetsu Kamo Hokutoshinken style upon you. So quick
was my fist, that you did not even feel it - and now, indeed, it is far too late. This
technique -
SPECTATOR: *gasp* Koutetsu Kamo Hokutoshinken?! The Steel Duck's North Star Godfist? Impossible!
SHRIMP OF A MAN: T-Th-there's no way! You can't know the Koutetsu Kamo Hokutoshinken!
MAN IN BLACK: - and so, while you were already undergoing the effects of accelerated aging, I rearranged the
tachyon flow of your neutrinos so that your particle flux began to slide backwards. Do you
understand now... Baru Kaisa?
BARU: Silence! It does not matter what your style is, or even if your master was once the greatest, most
power Limiter alive! All that counts is this moment, this -
MAN IN BLACK: You will die in three seconds.
BARU: ...
MAN IN BLACK: Three.
SPECTATOR: What have you done? What's going on?!
BARU: ...
MAN IN BLACK: Two.
SHRIMP OF A MAN: Stop it! Stop this stupid bluffing game of yours, it's not going to seal your victory!
BARU: ...
MAN IN BLACK: One.
BARU: NOO! No, I don't want to die! I've got so much to live for! I'm still a virgin, thanks to the Order of
the Godly Fist I joined sixteen years ago to purify my soul of the material things in this world, but
since then I've renounced that way of life and have moved on to use my powers in a wholly materialistic
fashion despite the vows I took at the start of the initiation rites where I was forced into - hey,
this is more than a second -
MAN IN BLACK: ....
[ The Man in Black flings his cloak open as he spins his guitar once, twice around and back onto his sling.
Silence falls over the courtyard for a split second before Baru begins screaming in unholy agony. The Man
in Black merely keeps walking towards some indeterminate destination, even as Baru's body begins contorting
and bulging in various places that would be best left undescribed. ]
BARU: NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYY?!
[ Baru explodes in a shower of chunky goodness. The audience is splattered. ]
MAN IN BLACK: ....
[ The Man in Black looks upwards towards the sky, then flings his guitar in the air with a smooth motion. The
guitar goes flying... ]
SPECTATOR: Wh-who are you?!
[ The Man in Black barely turns towards him, then blows a puff of air from an upturned lip, so that some of
his long hair falls away from his eyes. ]
MAN IN BLACK: I am Accord.
[ The guitar begins falling back to the ground. ]
ACCORD: Ashura! Dark Morph, now!
[ And with that, the guitar begins to quickly shapeshift in an impressive display of computer-rendered
graphics, until it becomes smaller, more squat, and definitely more animalistic. The neck of the guitar
shrinks, as the very top bends into a bill-like shape. The body twists and curves, forming feathery wings,
as two webbed feet shape themselves from the very bottom. ]
SHRIMP OF A MAN: That's... that's...
ACCORD: ....
[ When all is said and done, the guitar finally flashes once more to resolve into the shape of a duck. It is
almost two feet high, standing deathly still on two feet, and black all over save for its eyes, which are a
steely blue. ]
DUCK: Kvaak.
ACCORD: *nod* Kwan-Kwan. Darkness Flight, now.
KWAN-KWAN: Kvaak!
[ Accord leaps onto Kwan-Kwan's back, as the duck spreads its wings and takes off towards the sky. It's a
rather precarious ride given that Kwan-Kwan's body is the size of just one of Accord's boots. ]
KWAN-KWAN: Kvaaaaaaaak!
[ The people in the courtyard are silent. One of them wipes a piece of Baru off his cheek. ]
SHRIMP OF A MAN: ... well, what're you waiting for, you idiots! After him! *furious pointing*
SPECTATOR: Yes, sir!
[ The "spectator" flings off his plainclothes, revealing a muscled and tan body underneath. This can be
ascertained by the fact that said body is clad in only a yellow thong. ]
SPECTATOR: I, the great Jobboski, shall take on this "Accord". He may appear to be a threat, but NO ONE has
managed to stand against the power of my Whack Prong!
[ Jobboski takes out what appears to be a barbeque prong from... somewhere, and flourishes it. The right tip
of the Whack Prong glimmers in the night with an audible SFX. ]
JOBBOSKI: I'm going to need... the Ship.
SHRIMP OF A MAN: The Ship?
JOBBOSKI: Yes, the Ship!
SHRIMP OF A MAN: Which the Ship?
JOBBOSKI: Accord is flying in the sky, is he not? Therefore, I, the great Jobboski, have come to the
irrefutable conclusion that I shall need some means to fly up where he is! For that, I need... the
Ship.
SHRIMP OF A MAN: The Ship?
JOBBOSKI: Yes, the Ship!
SHRIMP OF A MAN: I see!
[ The Shrimp of a Man pushes a button on a remote control that wasn't in his hand a moment ago. The ground
begins to rumble and open beneath them, as the courtyard splits in half to reveal what appears to be a
large bathtub with two wings on each side. An intricate control panel is in place of where the faucet would
be. ]
SHRIMP OF A MAN: Use this Ship to extract revenge for our fallen comrade, Baru Kaisa! Do not disappoint me,
Jobboski!
JOBBOSKI: Have I failed you before?
[ Jobboski leaps into the bathtub, presses some buttons at random, and blasts off into the sky. He is gone
from sight in seconds. The Shrimp of a Man clasps his hands as he looks upwards at the sky, eyes
shimmering with hope. ]
SHRIMP OF A MAN: Please come back safe, Jobboski...
[ Meanwhile, Accord is still flying upwards in the sky on Kwan-Kwan's back, staring off into the blackening
sky as he crosses his arms over his chest. He seems to hear something, though, as he turns his head
around to see... ]
JOBBOSKI: WAAAIT! *brandishes Whack Prong threateningly*
ACCORD: ... hmph. Another fool come to meet Death...
JOBBOSKI: You can't escape me, Accord! I will not allow the death of Baru Kaisa to go unpunished!
ACCORD: Then come, if you think you can defeat me. Kwan-Kwan! Darkness Glock, now!
KWAN-KWAN: Kvaak!
[ Accord leaps off of Kwan-Kwan's back, as the duck begins to glow with black energy again. As Jobboski
watches, the duck slowly shifts into the rough shape of an "L", forming the trigger guard with its webbed
feet and the muzzle with its beak. There's a final flash set to SFX #80 when the stock footage finishes,
and Accord reaches out to grasp the duck - or, rather, the Glock - in one hand. ]
ACCORD: ....
JOBBOSKI: *eyes widen* I see. You are truly a master of the Koutetsu Kamo Hokutoshinken, are you not? I,
Jobboski, will then have to resort to my *lethal technique*!
[ Jobboski leaps out of the Ship, his weapon arm extended and aimed at Accord. Without the support of flight,
both Accord and Jobboski begin a freefall back towards Earth. Given that they're somewhere in the
stratosphere at this point, they're going to have quite a ways to go. ]
JOBBOSKI: Try this watermelon!
[ Jobboski pushes a previously non-existant trigger on his Whack Prong, and twin lances of golden energy
fire out from the ends of the prongs. ]
ACCORD: ....!
[ Time stops. Their descent comes to a sudden, unannounced halt. Accord spins himself so that he's out of the
way of the blast by shifting his body so that he's not spread-eagled anymore. Time starts again. ]
ACCORD: Your style is familiar. The Ayashi no Boroboro Ken, is it not?
JOBBOSKI: ... how - how did you know?!
ACCORD: *eyes narrow* I killed them.
JOBBOSKI: ...
JOBBOSKI [voice slowed down to about 1/8 its normal pitch]: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[ Jobboski begins firing wildly. Time stops again. Accord twists and turns, tucking his body into a ball,
sentai-posing, twirling like Tanya Harding, and doing the splits as each lance of light streaks past him
narrowly. However... ]
ACCORD: ....!
[ The crotch of Accord's cloak splits, a second after the last streak of light passes. ]
ACCORD: ....
JOBBOSKI: You will PAY!
ACCORD: You have managed to harm me.
JOBBOSKI: DIE!
ACCORD: You have touch my cloak.
JOBBOSKI: SUFFER!
ACCORD: I just washed this cloak yesterday.
JOBBOSKI: SCREAM! BEG FOR MERCY!
ACCORD: You will die.
JOBBOSKI: I WILL TEAR THE FLESH OFF YOUR BONES!
ACCORD: You shall suffer.
JOBBOSKI: I WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!
ACCORD: Koutetsu Kamo...
JOBBOSKI: NOW, I KILL YOU SO HARD YOUR *ANCESTORS* WILL FEEL IT!
ACCORD: Hokutoshinken...
JOBBOSKI: I - huh?
ACCORD: Hissatsu!
[ Accord raises the Glock, aiming directly for Jobboski. Time stops. The camera is suddenly limited to a
narrowed slice that only depicts Accord's narrowed eyes. This happens three more times, each at a different
angle. ]
ACCORD: Stampede Finger!
[ And the sound of gunshots fills the air. Jobboski screams in terror; a shot grazes the top of his thong,
causing it to fall off. Another strikes his hand, forcing him to drop the Whack Prong. A third hits him
where the sun doesn't shine, making him keel over - in theory, anyways, since they were still freefalling.
The final bullet catches him directly in the middle of his forehead. Blood gushes out and goes streaming
above the body of Jobboski, before the cooling corpse starts warming up as it defies the law of physics and
falls towards the Earth quicker than Accord does. ]
ACCORD: ....
[ Accord begins entering the atmosphere. ]
ACCORD: Such is the destiny of darkness...
[ Accord begins staring down at his hand as a Darkness Forcefield cues up to prevent him from burning up upon
reentry. ]
___________
bellreisa
-- lain (underscore) iwakura (at) softhome (dot) net
homepage: http://bellreisa.cjb.net
If you were a seagull flying over the ocean,
I would be a fish longing for your kiss under the water.
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