Raye Johnson wrote:

********************
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Prologue: For Want of a Nail

"For then, I would have a nail. But if I didn't have a nail, it wouldn't
have changed anything, so it really doesn't matter after all,"

----------------------------

     "Happi bursdai toe yuu, happi bursdai toe yuu, happi
bursdai deero Kasumi, happi bursdai toe yuu!" everyone sang
in very badly pronounced English.  Even Ryouga, who could
speak English intelligibly (or at least could ask directions
in the language) went along with the horrible
mispronuciations, even as he wondered *why* everyone always
sang this song in English.

That's easy: so they have an excuse for their terrible singing. :)

     Everyone said something along the lines of "You're
welcome, Kasumi," but the sheer number of people meant that
it came out as something akin to a louder swell of crowd
noise.  That didn't matter to Kasumi.  She knew what
everyone had meant.

Translation: "Open the damn presents so we can eat cake."

use cliched imagery and classic lines.  A shame; if he ever
moved past that tendency, Kunou Tatewaki might well become
one of the better Japanese poets of the early 21st
Century....

Or at least one of the more infamous ones. :)

     Grandfather Happousai and Cologne were sitting at the
table, eating and arguing.  Kasumi had taken the precaution
of secreting a poster of a young woman, wearing a few wisps
of almost nothing (and that extremely suggestively)

bit awkward. I'd reword that end part.

among

the streamers and buntings on the wall, so that the clearest
view was from the table.  That had the effect of gluing the
old man to his seat all night.  She had then approached
Cologne when the Amazons had arrived and asked her to
please, as a favour to her, keep an eye on the old Master
and keep him from disrupting the party.  That kept Cologne
out of trouble herself,

Actually Cologne doesn't really cause much trouble.

and she spent the night being waited

on by Konatsu ("At last, a Japanese boy who knows how to
treat women properly," she had said, patting Konatsu on the
head, and if Ukyou had not dragged her gender-confused
waitperson back into the kitchen before he blurted out his
usual "But I'm a girl!" response to that statement, Kasumi
didn't know *what* would have happened), bewailing how
children never respected their elders any more, and arguing
with Happousai about events that nobody else had been alive
to remember.

Now that, I can see.

They were both having a very good time.

     The Saotomes, Father, and Miss Hinako were chatting
away in another corner.

     And she... she was alone.

Well, blame Takahashi for writing Tofu out of the series. :P

     It was her twenty-first birthday, and everyone here
were her sisters' friends.

     Akane and Ranma were graduating from high school this
year.  They weren't going to get married, and the only
people who didn't know it were their parents.  They were,
however, very good friends, and old enough to run the doujou
on their own.

Oh ho. A surprise. I also wonder why Ukyou's been left out up to this point.

     Nabiki was going to university and had long since moved
out.

     Father had Miss Hinako, who was a very nice woman and
sweet.  Nothing like Mother, of course, but Father had been
a different person when Mother had been alive, with fire and
energy.  He had needed a shelter then.  Now Miss Hinako was
the firey,

I think that's mispelled, but I'm not completely sure.

     None of the people in the room behind her had mothers.
And Kasumi had become the quintessential Mother.  She even
thought of the children as her children.

Interesting, but it makes sense.

     /But they have grown up. And so must I./
Kasumi realized.

     It was time to go.  Whether to a career, to a family
(Kasumi felt a warm surge at that - a family, a baby, of
*her* own) or just to manage a boarding house somewhere, it
was time for Tendou Kasumi to take off The Apron.

And hence we have the title.

     Ranma didn't blame Kasumi for her escape.  Considering
the housework (it wouldn't *kill* Pop to pick up his dirty
underwear after he took it off, after all) and the cooking
(the alternative was letting Akane into the kitchen, and
Ranma was rather fond of living,

Bit harsh. Change it to 'fond of not having an upset stomach' or somesuch.

     Sitting down as she waited for the water to boil and
start the whole process of turning rice, tealeaves, soybean
paste and fish fillets into breakfast, Ranma sighed and
slipped into what was rapidly becoming her favourite
daydream.

Being covered in Jello while being licked clean by the girls cheerleading
squad. No, wait, this isn't a lemon. Too bad. :(

     <"Oh, Ranma! How was your class?" Ryouga smiled at him.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes....">

Some daydream. :) But you did warn us.

      /'Hey Pop? I know you want me to marry Akane, but me'n
her have talked it over, an' me'n her have decided that we'd
kill each other if we did.

Ranma: And that since I'm gay, she just doesn't have the right equipment to
satisfy me, if you know what I mean.

     "You *are* in love.  Just not with me."

I vote for Konatsu. :)

     Ranma nearly sliced his finger off.

Hmm. He usually isn't that sloppy. Still, the disagreement with his father
could have distracted him.

     Kasumi shook her head.  "Ranma, Akane will never
improve.  Not because she doesn't have the capability but
because she doesn't want to."

     He stared at her.  "Kasumi!  You're wrong!  You're -
you've got to be wrong!"

She can do a mean curry.

  He stood and went over to the

stove.  "I can't cope with this!  I can't keep doing most to
all of the housework and my schoolwork and training and
everything!  Kasumi, she's got to improve - I'll go crazy if
I have to keep doing it all...."

     "I know, Ranma," Kasumi said sadly.  "Why do you think
I was known for being 'The Perfect Housewife'?

Ranma; Actually, I thought most people referred to you as 'The One That Was
a Ticking Time Bomb.' Oh, wait, we never said that to your face. Nevermind.

     "It's this, Ranma."  And with that, Kasumi held out a
folded bundle of cloth.  "An apron?"

     "Not just any apron, Ranma. When someone puts on this
apron, it immediately enhances all their housewifery skills.

Hmm. Interesting.

     Ranma was at his wits' end.  Training before school,
school, training after school, homework, and now all the
housework.... he felt like screaming!  Kasumi's words, [it
gives serenity and patience to those who wear it]

Just like the 'happy pills', I have tucked in my sock drawer. Now I see.

     It was funny, she reflected as she tripped down the
stairs, she'd never seen before that if she scrubbed the
clothes in a circular motion, rather than her usual up-and-
down motion, it was exactly like one of her blocking katas.

     Humming softly, she stepped into the laundry, for the
first time ever looking forward to doing the washing.

Hmm, interesting. Prose flowed well. Can't think of anything else to say
right now. Will keep my eyes open for more.

D.B. Sommer

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