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Enjoy!


The FFML Refugee List

Disclaimer time: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz Communications
own Ranma 1/2. Hideaki Anno, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Gainax and ADV Films own
Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Yes, posting this is still Ginrai's fault.  ^_^  Umm, and C&C will be nice.
Remember, if you don't C&C, I can always inflict more of this upon you.

Hmm, that didn't quite sound right. Oh well...

Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il or corwin@virtuallyjeannie.com)
http://www.virtuallyjeannie.com/ranma.html

--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------

Azure Hair, Ruby Eyes

Chapter 1

"We have a new student today, class. Why don't you introduce yourself,
Mr..."

"Taro. Pan... Shit!"

"Mr. Taro Pansy," the teacher said, barely concealing a smirk.

"It's shit! I mean, Taro Shinji, you idiot!" the boy cried out in
indignation, scowling at the older man.

The whole class snickered at the exchange, but Shinji's glare quickly
quieted them down. The lesson on the Second Impact was about to begin, when
a mummy entered the class. On closer inspection, said mummy turned out to be
the albino Evangelion pilot. Ranma looked like he'd been through hell and
back. In fact, it was a wonder how he was able to stand. Acting casual, he
apologized for being late, and silently wobbled over to his seat.

Shinji felt a tingle of guilt, as he saw his classmate struggle with his
crutches. If he'd piloted that purple robot in Ranma's place... he'd be
crippled instead! Any guilt he'd been feeling over his refusal to pilot left
Shinji's mind in an instant.

--------------------------------------------------

"Sweet-o!"

Shinji cringed at the old man's war cry, which was immediately followed by
colorful expressions of feminine fury. Muttering a few choice words of his
own, he followed the sounds of battle to find the perverted Captain and get
back home. The only other choice was to walk home, and it was raining pretty
heavily...

Shinji smacked his forehead in disgust. As if there was a choice! Hoping the
girls broke his guardian a bone or dozen, he stepped out into the rain.

Unfortunately for the boy, that put him directly in Happosai's path. Using
his head as a springboard wasn't difficult for an experienced martial artist
like Captain Katsuragi, but the girls were normal junior high students.
Shinji could only stare at them in terror for a few moments, and then they
were upon him, trampling him with their numbers.

But the true horror... the true horror didn't start until he was
sufficiently stomped into the ground. One of the girls that were bringing up
the rear actually noticed his prone form and thought to apologize to the
poor boy.

Everything changed once she noticed a pantyhose sticking out of Shinji's
pocket. The girls, as one, were upon him in an instant, beating the pervert
to a pulp. At the end, they tied the pantyhose around his head, since it
didn't seem to belong to any of them.

As he lay there, near death and smelling the undergarment that was in dire
need of laundering, Shinji made the mistake of saying that his situation
couldn't get any worse.

"Ooh! Kawaii!"

Shinji used his remaining power reserves to squeal in abject horror. He
wouldn't inflict that... that... thing... even upon the Commander bitch or
the pervert that made his life a living hell!

"Come with me, Mary-Antoinette!" the same female voice gushed, grabbing the
pantyhose and dragging it and Shinji, by proxy, across the schoolyard.

'Damn it!' Shinji thought dejectedly, as spots started to appear all over
his vision. 'Why couldn't that kid just have a vendetta against me for
hurting her relative or something?!'

--------------------------------------------------

Bruised and battered, Shinji managed to stumble to Captain Katsuragi's
apartment. Standing in front of the door, he shuddered, wishing to be
anywhere else... even the beating he took from the girls was nothing
compared to what hellish nightmare awaited him on the other side...

His hand shaking despite all of his efforts to steady it, Shinji reached
towards the doorbell and rang it one, hoping that the old lecher won't hear
it.

Alas, but all of Shinji's hopes were dashed, when he heard footsteps
approaching the door. Someone on the other side fumbled with the lock, and
then the door opened, revealing a mummy.

Shouting in fear, Shinji jumped high into the air, hanging onto the ceiling
for dear life. The cycloptic mummy looked at him coldly through its one,
unblinking eye, before walking back inside the apartment and closing the
door behind itself.

Suddenly remembering that he couldn't hold himself suspended in the air only
by holding onto the ceiling, Shinji dropped to the floor unceremoniously,
letting out a yelp as his posterior met with the unrelenting tiles.

"You're back, m'boy!" Happosai exclaimed excitedly, opening the door and
rushing over to Shinji. "I saw you having fun with all the pretty ladies.
So, tell me, did you bring something back to your guardian?"

"You ain't my guardian, old goat!" Shinji shot back agitatedly, stalking
into the apartment past the Captain's shrunken form.

"Pantyhose..." Happosai called out, his eyes tearing. "Why won't you share
your treasures with me?! The only person who took you in, and let you stay
at my place..."

"That frigid bitch made me stay here, you idiot!" Shinji yelled opening the
window and pointing at the two armed men standing outside.

The guards noticed Shinji and waved at him. With their semi-automatic guns.

Hurriedly closing the window, Shinji shook his head slowly to get his
thoughts under control and took a few reassuring gasps of air.

"Anyway, I told you before, and I'll tell you again! I'm not interested in
your silky darlings!"

"Oh?" Happosai asked innocently, his demeanor changed in a second. Plucking
something from Shinji's head in one smooth motion, he asked, "And what's
this?"

Looking at the pink, frilly panty that was dangling from the Captain's right
hand, Shinji suddenly recalled all the horrors he went through as Azusa's
Mary-Antoinette. Hours upon hours of nightmares were crammed into his
conscious mind in a manner of seconds.

Screaming in utter terror, Shinji took off to the bathroom, shedding his
clothes as he fled to the shower to get himself cleansed. Happosai was hot
on his trail, begging him to stop hogging everything to himself and at the
very least hand over the matching bra.

The forgotten First Child blinked, and looked at the window. A red-headed
girl stared back at him, reflected from the glass.

Ranma Ayanami blinked again, and left for his home, figuring that his weekly
lesson with the Captain was concluded.

--------------------------------------------------

Shinji was furiously scrubbing himself, when he felt a sudden chill grasp
his nether regions in a way only a proctologist could. Shivering
uncontrollably, the boy looked over the bathroom carefully.

There were no Angels to scare him like that - not that he was scared of them
in the first place! And those agents weren't here to keep him company with
their big, shiny guns.

Shiny...

How come the small tile he was looking at wasn't as shiny as the rest of
them?

And did it just... blink?

Tiles didn't blink; normally. Or at all. Not where he came from, anyway.

Several more tiles on the opposite wall chose that moment to blink as well.
Shinji approached them out of morbid fascination, noticing that the closer
he got to them, the more they blinked.

One of the tiles was slowly drooling.

Screaming his head off, Shinji ran out of the bathroom. Bumping into
Happosai in the living room, the boy fell backwards on his back, nursing
his... shin... that was sore from the collision with the Captain.

Happosai calmly took out a pantyhose and wiped his face of the water Shinji
got over it, before sighing at the ruined undergarment in his arms.

'Sacrifices must be made,' the diminutive man thought stoically, discarding
the pantyhose.

Taking out his pipe, he asked the Third Child sympathetically, "So, what was
the problem? Panty withdrawal?"

"Why you... perverted little gnome!" Shinji growled angrily.

His fear forgotten, he lunged for his guardian. There was a flash of light,
and Shinji found himself sprawled on his back once again, while Happosai was
shaking his pipe at him disapprovingly.

"I am not that kind of pervert, Pantyhose!" the Captain said angrily,
sniffing.

Shinji was about to strangle him, when he realized that he had tried to
assault Happosai while being completely naked. Screaming out in fury, the
boy grabbed the closest piece of cloth available and hastily tried to put it
on.

While he was technically covered afterwards, Shinji was still nowhere decent
in the eyes of a modern society.

"Tiles... bathroom..." was all he could say with the rapid beating of his
heart.

"Oh, that?" Happosai asked with a smirk. "I see you have met the True
Enemies of Tokyo 3."

"Angels?" Shinji squeaked out.

"Worse, m'boy! Butt-ugly women!"

Happosai shuddered, shaking his head in an attempt to cleanse it from the
unpleasant memories.

"Ugly women?"

Shinji wasn't sure what his guardian was talking about, but he felt very
unclean for some reason. And that reason had nothing to do with Azusa
Suzuhara this time.

"Not just ugly... they are the very epitome of ugliness!" Happosai cried out
in despair. "The Commander had scouted the entire country for them, and even
imported several from abroad! They live here, occupying this entire complex!
Oh, woo is me!"

His eyebrow already twitching, Shinji grabbed Happosai by the lapels of his
uniform and hauled him upwards until they were able to meet face-to-face.

"Explain, old man," he said, narrowing his eyes in warning.

"Those perverted women... they wear hideous, ugly undergarments worthy of
their bodies!"

Happosai was sobbing in earnest now.

"I had to find that out the hard way, when I drilled all those holes in the
bathroom! In my foolishness, I thought to peak at the panties to get the
most out of my miserable existence..."

Shinji's arms had suddenly gone limp, and he released his guardian, unable
to hold him anymore. Rearing his head backwards, he screamed in utter rage,
shaking even the reinforced glass of the windows in his apartment.

Armed agents immediately showed up in the apartment, breaking down the door.
Seeing all these guns trained at him made Shinji raise his hands high into
the air, causing one appendage to stick out in return.

Everyone's eyes traveled slowly to the pantyhose Shinji had put on himself
earlier.

There was a collective blink, before someone snickered.

This time, the windows did shatter under the force of Shinji's scream.

--------------------------------------------------

End of Chapter 1.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
                     desaix@sysnet.net
Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee
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