The Long Goodbye
Part 2: Ranma
By: Stiffanie Flores and Restless Heart
- stiffanie@mailcity.com

Disclaimer:  Ranma 1/2 and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Homepage:
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/index.html




Five years was a long time.

The thought rang through his mind as he leaned back on his seat, watching as
the scenery passed by him in a blur.

Five years.  Five years was a sizable chunk of a lifetime.  So much had
changed, in the last five years.

What about her?  Was she-

He shook the thought from his head.  No, he wasn't going to think about that
right now.

But even as he told himself to stop, again he found his thoughts drifting
back to her.  Visions, memories of her filled his mind.  There was a brief
time, long ago, when he would curse the fates for torturing him with images
of the one thing he knew he couldn't ever have.  When he hoped he could go
to China and get Shampoo to do that tsubo technique on him to erase the
memories from his mind, so that he would not wake up and feel the searing
emptiness in his heart, so deep that he thought he could never feel whole
again, day after day after day...

Other times, though, he knew he would rather lose a limb than give up the
memories of her.  Even if he had the chance to go back and do everything all
over again, he would still love her, even knowing that he would lose her in
the end.  And he would never let go of the memories, all that he had left of
a wonderful, smiling girl he had once loved.

Ah, the days of youth, he thought to himself, a brief smile touching his
lips.  Five years ago, he never would have thought of admitting those same
feelings for her, even just to himself.  He would have been too scared -
scared of what might happen, scared of the changes it would bring - to even
ponder the true nature of his feelings for her.  

Now, it was all too easy to admit to himself that he'd loved her.  That she
was the only one he'd ever really wanted to marry.  That he'd loved her so
much, enough to marry her, enough to die for her, enough to...

Enough to let her go.

The bus came to a stop, and the passengers began filing out.  Ranma stood
up, hefting his huge backpack, and headed out along with the other
passengers. 

In front of him, groups of people clustered together, waiting for everyone
to get off before going inside the train station, to make sure that nobody
got left behind.  But Ranma was alone.  He'd always been alone.

His strides long and brisk, he made his way inside the train station, going
straight to the ticket booth to purchase a ticket.  After standing in line,
he gave his money to the teller and waited until she handed him a short
yellow stub.

Over the loudspeakers, he heard the announcer say that his train had just
come in the station.  Walking faster, he crossed the main hall to the
correct gate and shoved his ticket into the surprised attendant's hands.  He
made his way down to the platform just as the doors of the train opened, and
passengers began to unload.

Ranma jumped the last few steps and almost collided with an old man.  Bowing
a quick apology, he shifted his backpack behind him and slipped inside the
train, just as the buzzer rang and the doors began to close.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ranma unstrapped his backpack and put it down on
the floor beside him, as he took a seat beside the train doors.  He pulled
his backpack closer to his feet to make sure no one tripped over it
accidentally, since he sat so close to the doors and people passed in front
of him to get on or off the train.  

Ranma leaned back and put a hand behind his head, closing his eyes for a
bit.  The night before, he'd trekked all the way from the mountains down to
the village below, and he was feeling a bit sleepy.  His father had always
said it was in sleep where one regained his ki, and aside from having three
full meals a day, getting a full night's sleep was one of the most important
things in the world.

Ranma smiled to himself.  Of course, that was Genma he was thinking about.
Of course Genma would think that aside from eating and sleeping, nothing
else was worth his time.  Except for his son's training, of course, but ever
since they'd come back from Jyusenkyo, his father hadn't bothered him too
much about his training anymore.  Not that he'd needed to, of course.  Ranma
kept himself well in shape, what with fighting insane martial artists in
Nerima at least everyday.  His eyes lit up briefly at the memory.  He'd have
been lucky if he didn't get wet at least once everyday.  And if it wasn't
that old woman with the ladle, it was Akane who splashed him, as they stood
in the hall, holding buckets as detention for fighting in class.

His smile faded.  He recalled each time they fought, when he would tease her
mercilessly about her cooking, or her martial arts skills.  He'd teased her
so much, when he knew he should have kept his mouth shut, all because he
could never find the courage to tell her that he... he loved her...

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.  There wasn't a moment that passed in
the past five years when he didn't wish that he could go back and do things
differently.  That he could have found the courage to tell Akane how he
felt, instead of hurting her over and over again with his callous insults...
that he could have told her what she'd meant to him, before he lost her
forever...

But, he often wondered, would it have mattered?  Sometimes, he tried to
convince himself that it was better this way.  What if, in desperate hopes
to hold on to her, he'd told her that he loved her, and then she'd told him
that she didn't love him back?  It was one thing to know that she was in
love with another man, rather than to hear the words from her own mouth.

Other times, though, he cursed himself for his cowardice.  For giving up
without a fight.  There were nights when he dreamed, of meeting Akane one
day, when she'd already married and had children... and she told him
tearfully that it was *him* she'd loved all along, and if only he hadn't run
away and left her, it would have been *him* she'd married, his child she was
carrying in her womb...

Even now, five years later, he still wondered if he'd made the right choice.


Ranma closed his eyes as he leaned his head back on the glass pane behind
him, as the world in front of his eyes began to shift and blur, taking on a
new shape, hurtling him back through time to the moment five years ago,
which changed his life forever...

****

His eyes unfocused, staring straight ahead.  The wind hissed eerily around
him, a strange presence in the air, but Ranma was mindless of it all.   

*I...I've been dumped... by Akane...*

He recalled the soreness of his cheek, after her palm smashed into his face.
He remembered just stopping dead, his body frozen in mid-motion.  He
remembered, despite his boneless shock, Akane staring at him, her eyes wide
with shock, as she glanced at her hand, seeming unable to believe how she'd
hit him...

Then, she'd said, "I'm sorry... Hit me back."

Feh.  Like he'd have been able to hit her back.  Like he'd be able to hit
her, *ever*.

He stood up and brushed the dust off his pants.  *I'll go back, I guess,* he
thought wearily.  *When I get back, I'll go on a training trip.*

He looked up at the sky.  The giant trees swayed gently in the blowing wind,
a melancholy rhythm in his ears, seeming to echo the sadness in his heart.

*Goodbye, Akane,* he thought sadly.  *I guess I'll never see you again.*

He stood for a moment longer, staring at the sky, feeling the weight of the
world on his shoulders.  He felt tears sting his eyes briefly, and he
blinked, brushing his fingers impatiently against his eyes.

Finally, he grabbed his backpack beside him and slung it over his shoulders,
and with one last look behind him, trudged down the mountain, feeling as
though he'd left his heart behind.

****

Ranma raced through the woods, his heart pounding in his chest.  He'd been
halfway down the mountain when he'd heard a loud crash, like a mountain
falling apart.  When he'd turned, he'd seen a huge dragon-like head rise up
into the clouds, spraying drops of water from its huge mouth.  And then, to
his horror, another head rose up, and another...

Thankfully, the light spray of water hadn't been enough to trigger the
curse.  Without a second thought, he'd turned and run back, only one thought
ringing in his mind: Akane.  No way could that clumsy slowpoke tomboy take
on something like this.

*Even if you really love Shinnosuke, I'll still protect you,* he promised
silently as he ran, feeling the brisk air on his face.  *I won't let you
die.*

He emerged into a small clearing beside the lake, and to his horror, he saw
the huge monster rise up from the water, seven heads writhing above it...
No, *eight* heads!  The body itself was the eighth head!

Eyes glazed with panic, he hurriedly scanned the clearing, and unconsciously
breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Akane, standing beside Shinnosuke and
his grandfather, dressed in a... a boy's uniform?!

And the men were wearing... women's clothing?  A wedding dress?  A
policewoman's uniform?!  And Ryouga... in a nurse's outfit?!

And then he noticed the bright tints of color on Ryouga's cheeks and mouth.
*Makeup?!* Ranma thought incredulously.  And he felt the insane urge to
laugh.

Then Akane snatched the long broom from Shinnosuke's hands and leapt into
the air, landing on the monster's head... and Ranma's heart lodged in his
throat.  In shock, he watched her jump nimbly from head to head, thinking
absently that if it weren't for the extreme danger she was in at this
moment, he'd have had the presence of mind to admire her lithe grace, her
quick movements...

Then a huge tongue slithered up and grabbed Akane, and she screamed, the
sound sending cold tentacles of fear wrapping around his heart, squeezing
painfully...

Ranma hurriedly tore off his backpack, and tensed himself to spring.  

Over to his right, he heard Shinnosuke's grandfather shout, "Akane!  The
whistle!  BLOW!"

Akane's eyes widened, and she grabbed an object dangling from her neck,
lifting it to her mouth...

The shrill cry of the whistle pierced the air, and a hundred things seemed
to happen all at once.  The monster's body writhed in the air, its limbs
flailing... Akane, still trapped within the monster's mouth, seeming
amazingly unfazed... her broom flashing out when she came within reach of
the monster's huge head, coming away stained with some green substance from
the creature's head...

Akane flung the broom away in the group's direction, just before the monster
hurled her away, screaming... and Shinnosuke's grandfather caught it,
shouting Akane's name... Shinnosuke and Ryouga springing into action,
leaping into the air, Shinnosuke catching Akane in his arms, as Ryouga was
turned into a pig from the water spraying from the monster as it sunk back
beneath the waters...

Shinnosuke landed on the ground and put Akane down on her feet beside him.
Then, he turned and grabbed her into his arms, seeming to laugh and cry at
the same time... and Akane, laughing joyously, telling him she was all
right...

Watching the scene unfold in front of him, Ranma felt the familiar, heavy
feeling settle in his heart.  He watched silently as Akane and Shinnosuke
broke the embrace, but their hands were still linked... watched, with a kind
of detached interest, as Akane looked up at Shinnosuke and smiled, her eyes
lighting up with laughter...

Forcing himself to look away, Ranma picked up his backpack again and slung
it on his back, and resumed walking downhill.

Minutes later, he felt the wind sting his eyes, and he closed his eyes and
lifted a hand to rub his face, surprised when his hand came away wet and
stained with tears.

****

"Ranma?"

He heard the door slide open behind him.  Silently cursing the train delay
which had wasted away so many hours, when he could have been miles away from
Nerima at this moment, he tried to ignore the voice, as if hoping that the
source of it would go away if he pretended he didn't hear it.

He forced his hands to still, and he grabbed the nearest shirt and stuffed
it into his backpack.  He heard footsteps come up behind him.  He reached
for another shirt.

He heard her voice again.  "Ranma?" 

His hand trembled.  Annoyed at his show of weakness, he jerked his hand
back.  "Yeah?" he said, relieved when his voice came out steady.  

He heard her come up closer beside him, her footsteps light.  Her voice
sounded soft and hesitant.  "Kasumi said you were leaving?"

He closed his eyes briefly.  "Yeah."

There was a long, awkward pause.  "But- but why?"

*What do you mean, _why_?* Ranma thought inwardly.  *I'm leaving 'cause I'm
breaking our engagement, because I don't want to have to see you with him
again...*

He took a deep breath.  Finally, he turned.  Akane was looking at him, her
eyes wide with concern.  "Why did you come to Ryugenzawa, Ranma?" she asked
suddenly.

He shrugged.  "Your dad asked me to."  *In a manner of speaking,* he
thought, feeling a sudden, irrational impulse to laugh at Soun's theatrics.


*Man,* he thought suddenly, a heavy feeling settling in his heart, *I am
going to miss this family.  Kasumi, and even Nabiki and her scams...*

Akane's voice snapped him back to attention.  "Did you leave after I... I...
that is, I..." A blush tinted her cheeks prettily.  He hated himself for
having noticed.

"After you hit me?" he said finally, keeping the emotion out of his voice.

"Yes."  Her blush deepened.  He thought she was feeling embarrassed.  He
thought again of how cute she looked.  

*AAHHH!* he screamed inwardly.  *Get it over with!*

"Yeah."  He turned his back to her, hoping that it would be easier without
having to look at her.  What was she doing here, anyway?  He didn't think
she'd come down so soon.  

There was another long pause, and he could almost sense her gathering up the
courage for something.  When she finally spoke, he knew why.  "Did you... I
mean, is it because of Shinnosuke?"

He tensed at the mention of his name, and he cursed himself inwardly for the
weakness.  Damn, he hadn't counted on this!  He'd hoped to be able to leave
before she came home.  He hadn't wanted to say goodbye, it would have been
too hard.

He heard her let out a breath sharply.  "Ranma-" she said, her voice rising.

"No."  The word escaped from his lips.  No, he couldn't let her think that.
That the thought of her with another man broke his heart into a million tiny
pieces, and that the only way he could deal with it was to never see her
again.

"What?" she asked, surprised.  He steeled himself to face her again.  

"No," he repeated, looking into her eyes.  "Of course not.  Why would you
think that?"

She stared at him, her eyes widening.  "Ranma..."

He forced himself not to wilt at the look in her eyes.  Taking a deep
breath, he summoned the speech he'd prepared in his mind, during the long
trip home.

"I thought about a lot of things, on my way home," Ranma said.  "It was
high-time we did that, right, Akane?  Really sat down and thought about what
we really wanted."  

He looked at her, but she just stared at him silently, so he continued, "And
I decided I had the right to choose how I want to live my life, who I want
to marry.  And I wanted all of us to have that freedom.  After all, it's not
fair to let all you girls to put your lives on hold while waiting for me to
make a decision, right?"

She was still staring at him, her eyes wide, and he wondered inwardly why
she was so surprised.  After all, he was doing this for her, so that she
could be free to be with Shinnosuke.  

He met her gaze again.  "I've decided to break the engagements.  All of
them," he added hastily.

"All of them?" Akane repeated, her voice a soft whisper.

"Yeah," he said softly.  "Shampoo, and Kodachi, and -"  He closed his eyes,
sighing heavily, as he thought of another person, another talk he was
already dreading.  "And Ucchan, too.  I owe it to all of you girls, to tell
you myself."

"But why?  Why all of a sudden?"

"It's not all of a sudden," he said quietly.  "I've thought about it for a
long time.  This... it isn't fair, not to any one of us.  I have no right to
tie you down to me, Akane, not when you - *we* - have always protested our
engagement."  His voice lowered, and he practically forced the next words
out.  "And especially not now, when I would get in the way of your happiness
with Shinnosuke.  I have no right to ask that of you."

If possible, Akane's eyes widened even more, and her mouth gaped open.
Truth be told, Ranma was a little unnerved by her reaction.  What, didn't
she think he'd be able to figure it out?

"I'll talk to our dads," he told her.  "I'll make it clear it was *my*
choice.  I'm sure it'll all work out."  He started to get up.

"Wait."  He stopped dead at the sound of her voice.  Turning slowly, he
looked at her again, but Akane had closed her eyes, and she seemed to be
breathing heavily.  Ranma felt a lump rise in his throat, as he stared at
her, knowing that in a few minutes, by his own choice, he'd never see her
again.  

But he steeled himself from the doubts, knowing in his heart that this was
the right thing to do.  What he'd told her was true.  He had no right to
bind her to him, not when she didn't love him back.  Not when he could get
in the way of her happiness with someone else.

So what was family duty and honour, he told himself.  All the good reasons
in the world wasn't worth a damn when it came to matters of the heart.  

She opened her eyes then, and seemed to gather up the courage to say
something.  "Ranma, you don't have to leave," she said finally.  "I
understand about... about everything you said.  You're right, it is time we
worked out this mess."

Ranma blinked, surprised.  Of all things, it was the last thing he'd
expected her to say.  "You do?" 

"Yes," she said, her voice rising.  "I'll help you talk with our dads - it's
only fair.  We... we'll tell them we don't want to get married.  And then
you can work it out with Shampoo and Ukyou and Kodachi.  But you don't have
to leave," she repeated.  "You can still stay here.  Nothing has to change.
We'll still go to school together, we can be ... we'll just be friends."

Ranma grew even more confused with every word she spoke.  "Friends?" he
echoed.  What, she didn't think they were friends now?

"Friends," Akane repeated.  "Just friends, without having to worry about
rivals, fiancees, pushy parents...  In fact, we're already friends now,
aren't we?"

*Ahh,* he thought inwardly, finally understanding.  Releasing them from the
engagements, thus they would finally be friends, nothing more.  But... "Why
are you doing this, Akane?" he asked her, softly.

"You don't have to leave," she insisted.  "Our engagements are too much to
handle right now - I can accept that.  But..." Her voice lowered to a
whisper.  "Can't you let me hope, that someday... maybe, someday..." She
trailed off, as she looked at him, trying to smile, her eyes imploring.   

Was she holding on to their engagements, just because of family duty?  He
couldn't let her do that.  *Oh, Akane,* he thought sadly.  *Don't ever
settle for anything less than love.  You deserve more than that.  Much more.
How can you ask me to marry you, while clearly knowing that it's not me you
really want?*

He stared back, his eyes infinitely sad.  "I... I can't marry you, Akane."

The smile died on her lips.  "Oh."  Akane closed her eyes.  He thought she
was on the verge of tears, and his heart constricted painfully.  "I'm
sorry."

"Don't be."  She tried to smile at him.  "Are you in love with anyone else?"

"Does it matter?"  

*Not to me,* he replied silently, answering his own question. *There's only
ever been you, but you don't love me, Akane...*

She shook her head.  "No.  No, of course not.  You're right, of course.  We
should all be free to choose."  

*That's right,* Ranma thought, looking at her.  *You should be free to be
with the one you love, to be happy...*

"So," she said, breaking the awkward silence.  "I guess this is goodbye."
She held out her hand.

"Goodbye," he repeated.  His hand closed around hers, squeezing tightly,
knowing that this would be the last time he would ever hold her hand.  And
then she let go.

****

Finally, he came to Akane.  He looked at her, his mind already forming a
picture of her, to carry with him for years to come, to remember exactly the
way she looked at this moment, the last time he would ever see her.

The gentle breeze teased her hair gently, and his eyes followed her motions,
as she lifted a hand to tuck a lock behind her ear.  He thought he'd never
seen her as beautiful as she looked now, right at this moment.  An
unconscious smile touched his lips.

Finally, he said, "Thank you, Akane."  Thank you for everything.  There
simply wasn't anything else he could say.

"You're welcome," she whispered softly, looking at him.  "Take care."

"You, too."

*And be happy,* he added silently.  *Please be happy.  That's how I want to
remember you, the smiling, happy girl I fell in love with...*

Feeling his resolve weaken, he hurriedly tore his gaze away from her, and
then he turned and walked down the street, forcing himself not to turn
around for one last look.

*Goodbye, Akane,* he whispered in his heart.  *I loved you.  Goodbye.*

****

It had been so easy, to finally be able to admit to himself that he'd loved
her.  He wondered if it was because it was only then that he'd realized that
he loved her. 

After he'd left the Tendo Dojo, he'd gone to work out his fiancee mess with
the other girls.  He'd thought it best to get it over with as soon as
possible.  So that he could go on with his life.  Although he'd had no idea
where to go next, not after spending so many months living with Akane, and
believing that he would stay with her forever...

He'd gone to Ukyou first.  Ukyou, with her cheerful smiles and sunny
disposition... she was a real friend, and he'd hated himself for hurting
her.

It hadn't gone well.  She'd cried and thrown herself in his arms, refusing
to give up, especially after knowing that he was breaking all the
engagements, including the one with Akane.  

"Please don't leave me, Ranchan," she'd pleaded tearfully.  "Let me prove to
you that I'm the right girl for you..."

Ranma knew that there was no way he could ever let her believe that he could
love her back, the way she wanted him to.  Not when he knew clearly, in his
own heart, that there was only one person he'd ever wanted, and he had no
idea if he was ever going to be able to forget her.

He'd gone to Shampoo next.  Shampoo, though, had been another matter.  She'd
alternated between bouts of tears and threats to harm Akane, even after
Ranma had told her he was also breaking his engagement to Akane.  Cologne,
who had been standing behind Ranma, made an attempt to touch Ranma's
pressure point, which would have made him collapse in a boneless heap, so
that she and Shampoo could take him back to China without a struggle.

Ranma had seen the movement from the corner of his eye, and he'd reacted
quickly, leaping out of the way and grabbing Cologne's outstretched hand,
flinging it out of his way.  Cologne and Shampoo had been surprised, not
expecting him to be able to dodge the attack.  

After that, it had been easy to convince Cologne that he was never going
back to China with them, ever.  Cologne then decided that Ranma would not
make an ideal Amazon husband anyway - he was too strong-willed - and the
Amazons left for China the very next day.

As for Kodachi - Ranma hadn't had the patience or the desire to go
straighten out the mess with the Black Rose, which he thought was neither
his nor his father's fault in the first place anyway.  

He'd left Tokyo the very next day.  His destination - unknown.  But Ranma
figured he'd find a place where he might belong again... someday.  And if he
was lucky, maybe he'd even be able to forget about her.  Someday...

****

"Really?  So where have you been all this time?"

Ranma shrugged, as he finished off the last of his rice.  "All over," he
mumbled, his mouth full.  "A really, really long training trip."

His companion poked at the bonfire with a short, thick branch.  "Don't you
have any family who will miss you?"

Ranma felt a brief pang of sadness.  "I'd never met my mom."  *Not in my
true form, anyway,* he added silently.

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  "And your father?"

"He understood."  Ranma leaned forward and put down his bowl and chopsticks
beside his backpack.  "My entire life has actually been one long training
trip."

"Hmm?"  The old man's forehead wrinkled in a frown.  "I thought you were
alone."

"I meant before," Ranma explained.  He leaned back and folded his arms under
his head.  "My pop took me from my mother when I was a little kid.  He
dragged me all over Japan to train me in the Art."

"Ah."

Ranma stared at the twinkling stars above him.  Sometimes, he'd look up at
the stars and think of her, and it had always given him a strange sense of
comfort.  That no matter how far away he was from her, they could still look
up at the same sky, and wish upon the same stars.

"It eventually stopped," he said suddenly.  "The training trip.  After we
came back from China-"

"China?!"

"Yep, China," Ranma replied, smiling briefly.  "After that, Pop dragged me
to a friend's house, to honor the arrangement he'd made with that friend
sixteen years ago."

"Hmm."  The old man smiled.  "A martial arts challenge?"

"Nope."  Ranma shook his head.  "Marriage."

"An arranged marriage?"  He chuckled.  "I didn't know those things still
existed."

"They do.  At least, they did."  Ranma's eyes lit up at the memory.  "My
fiancee... we didn't hit it off right away.  There was a long time when we
both protested strongly against our forced engagement."

The old man smiled knowingly.  "And then it - ah, how do they say it -
gradually grew on you?"

Ranma smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.  "She didn't love me."

"She broke it off?"

Ranma shook his head.  "I broke our engagement.  I let her go."  He closed
his eyes.  "That was five years ago."

"I'm sorry."  Ranma wondered briefly why people did that, saying sorry like
it was their fault.  Like those two simple words were supposed to assuage
the grief in his heart.

He shrugged.  "It was a long time ago."

"Ah, but time has nothing to do with it."  The old man smiled.  "Some
things, you remember forever..."

Ranma closed his eyes.  He was afraid of the same thing.

"...and some things," he continued, his voice soft, "you regret forever."

Ranma felt a strange foreboding creep up his gut.  "What do you mean?"  

"Perhaps this is the reason for the strange kinship I've felt with you,
since we met each other two days ago," the old man explained.  "Perhaps it's
because of the similar experiences we both share."

Ranma frowned.  "I don't understand."

He smiled briefly.  "I'm an old man.  I've lived a long, full life.  Even if
I were to die in my sleep tonight, I would be content."  He fell silent for
a moment.  "But what would life be without regrets?  There are some things I
wish I could go back and do again, even to this day."

He smiled then, lost in his memories.  "The three of us, we grew up together
- Hikou, my best friend in the entire world.  And... her.  My fiancee, my
future bride."

His smile faded.  "But she told me she couldn't marry me.  And I... I
thought it was because she loved Hikou.  She... she was kneeling in front of
me, sobbing, telling me she was sorry... Overcome with rage, I didn't even
let her explain.  I just ran away, like a coward.

"It had been raining for two whole days," he remembered.  "The houses in the
lower parts of the valley were already being swept away by the floods.  By
the end of the day, the flood was upon us.  It... swept away everything," he
said hoarsely.  "The houses, the people.  My family.  And... her.   But
Hikou..." His voice lowered to a bare whisper.  "I killed him myself."

Ranma sat up straighter, his eyes wide with surprise.  He started to say
something, but the old man went on.

"We were fighting over her.  It was raining so hard... Then the ground
crumbled underneath him and he would have been washed away by the floods,
but I grabbed his hand.  At that moment, I'd forgotten everything - the pain
of their betrayal, the anger and resentment burning in my heart.  Right
then, it was only the two of us, and all I knew was I had to save him, my
best friend.

"I didn't even see it... the thick branch that swam towards me, its edge
sharp and jagged... I felt a sharp pain in my left eye, and I... I..."

He bowed his head, his eyes hidden by the dark glasses.  "And I let go of
his hand.  He was washed down the river, screaming my name."  He paused,
breathing slowly.  "And eight years later, he came back, resurrected as a
demon god, to get revenge on me for killing him."

He looked at Ranma.  "Demons and giant floods.  You probably don't believe
me."

Ranma smiled.  "I do.  You've got the right person."

"Hikou... he tried to kill me and my friends." The old man's gaze was
faraway.  "But I'd vowed to myself that I wouldn't let him die again.  I
couldn't.  I would release him from the evil god's spell, even if I died
trying.  And together, we will go be with her.  The three of us, together
again."

He paused.  "He died.  But I lived.  I had released him from the dark magic,
and before he died, he... he told me all he'd done was to steal a kiss,
because he was jealous and he loved her too, but she didn't love him, and
she was so virtuous that, after kissing him, she'd felt soiled and unfit to
be my bride..."

He shook his head.  "And I let them both die.  The two people I'd loved most
in the entire world... I lost them both in one day.  And Hikou... I killed
him myself.  Twice."  He sighed heavily.  

"I've found a lot of peace during my travels for the past years," he
continued. "But there are still some nights when I lie awake, weighed down
by memories of the past.  If I could do just one thing differently..."  He
trailed off, taking off his glasses and rubbing a hand over his eyes.  Ranma
waited patiently.

"I loved them," he said finally.  "Both of them.  That was why it had hurt
so much.  But even so..."  He turned to Ranma, his eyes sad, and Ranma
stared at the thin white line that slashed across his left eye.  

"This scar is the only reminder I have left of them.  Even though Hikou no
longer blamed me for killing him... I shall carry the memory of it until the
day I die," he finished.  "Maybe even longer."

They finally lapsed into silence for a long time, as Ranma pondered his
words.  In a way, he could see where he was coming from.  Loving someone
that much, and then finding out that she didn't love him back... Ranma
sighed, as he rubbed his eyes wearily.  

"Do you understand, boy?" the old man said suddenly.  "Sometimes, even the
simplest choice you make can change everything and everyone around you.  And
if it ended up destroying everything you love..." He shook his head tiredly.
"You will carry the burden of that for the rest of your life."

Ranma felt a strange foreboding creeping up his spine.  "But how do you know
if you're doing the right thing?"

He smiled wryly.  "Ah, but that's the dilemma now, isn't it?" 

"I understand what you're trying to say," Ranma said slowly.  "It was the
easiest conclusion to make.  And if the flood hadn't come and washed
everyone away..." He paused, struggling for the right words.  

The old man nodded.  "I would have wanted them both to be happy, even if at
the cost of my own."

"I know how that feels," Ranma said softly.  "Even though you can't bear to
let her go, in your heart you know it's the right thing to do."

"Only I was wrong," he whispered softly.  "She had never betrayed me, but I
let her go.  I let her *die*."

He replaced the glasses on the bridge of his nose.  "I thought my life had
ended that day.  Maybe it had.  I left the village and drifted from place to
place, without desire or purpose.  Many years later, I'd finally found a
semblance of peace.  I'd met and made new friends, who gave my life a new
meaning.  When Hikou came to kill me eight years later, it was for these
friends that I fought him again, vowing that I could never let anyone die
again.  I'd already seen so much death.  Too much."

He smiled sadly at Ranma.  "Those were the days.  We were all so young and
vibrant, so full of life.  It is only with age that wisdom comes, and when
you grow old, it is my wish for you that you should not lie awake in your
bed haunted by dreams of the past.  As I do."

Deep into the night, long after the old man had fallen asleep, Ranma lay
awake in his tent, staring at the canvas ceiling.  The old man's words
echoed in his mind.

He'd loved Akane with all his heart, believed that he would spend the rest
of his life with her.  But she'd loved another man.  And even more than he'd
loved her, he had wanted her to be happy.  So he'd let her go, believing it
was the right thing to do.  

But what if it was the wrong thing?

For five years, the doubts had continued to whisper relentlessly in his
mind, and the voices grew stronger with each passing year.  He had never
asked Akane if she really did love Shinnosuke... what if she hadn't?  

The possibilities were frightening, but he'd tried to shut them out.
Because he refused to consider the possibility that he'd done the wrong
thing.  Because he was... scared beyond all reason.  

For the past five years, he'd travelled all over Japan, visiting training
grounds and honing his martial arts skills whenever he could.  But mostly,
he'd just drifted aimlessly from one place to another, like a lost soul.  

He'd learned a lot of things, met a lot of people, in the past five years.
A lot of women.  Each time, he'd hoped in his heart that it was finally time
to move on.  Time to put the past behind him, and start building a new
future.

But she was always there, always in his heart and in his mind, and even
after all these years, he could not find the strength to betray her.  And no
other girl he'd met could ever measure up to the image of her he kept in his
heart.

In his darkest moments, he still wondered what would have happened if he had
chosen a different path.  He had given up all chances of a future with her -
had it really been worth it?

But she hadn't loved him, he reminded himself.  And it didn't matter that he
wandered on aimlessly, day after day, feeling like the rocks beside the
ocean - year after year, a piece of him was slowly washed away.  Never mind
that there was a hollowness inside of him that he knew could never be
filled.  The sacrifice of his own happiness was for the sake of the one
person he loved the most.  As long as Akane was happy.

But if he was wrong... what reason would he have to go on now, in this
meaningless existence, if the very purpose of his life turned out to be a
horrible mistake?

By the time morning came, Ranma was still lying awake in his bed, his mind
overwhelmed with possibilities, each more staggering than the last.  But at
last, for the first time in the past five years, he knew what he had to do.

****

Ranma opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.  The train swayed gently as
it sped along the tracks, bringing him closer to his destination.  To a
place he had avoided for the past five years, but now he was finally coming
back.  He was coming home.

Funny how he still thought about it that way.  He was twenty-one years old.
He'd spent almost twenty years on the road, wandering from one place to
another.  He'd lived in Nerima for only a few months, but it was the longest
period of time that he'd spent in a single place.

And it was the only real home he'd had in his entire life.  

Home.  That was where you had family and friends, where you have a feeling
of... of *rightness*, that this is where you should be, where you belonged.

Only one place fit that description in his heart:  the Tendo dojo.

Akane.

She was what made everything worth it.  She'd brought peace and happiness
into his life.  And he'd thrown all of it away.  Chased after a dream for
five whole years, thinking that he could find another place where he might
belong again, feel *alive* again, only to look back now, five years later,
to realize that the only place he'd ever really wanted to be was by her
side, for the rest of his life.

It was stupid, he knew.  Five years ago, he'd breezed in through the door
and told her he was breaking their engagement, without even letting her have
a say in the matter.  He'd left her life as abruptly as he'd entered it.

And now, here he was again, coming back to a place he hadn't seen in five
years, chasing after a wild dream, hoping against hope that...

No, Ranma reminded himself firmly.  He refused to set himself up for more
disappointment.  Even if he had done the wrong thing - even if she really
*had* loved him - five years was a long time.  For all he knew, maybe she
was already married, with a family and kids of her own.  And he would be
nothing more than a reminder of a painful past.

Maybe she even hated him for leaving her like that five years ago.  He
couldn't blame her if she did.

But his talk with the old man had made one thing clear: he would never make
any peace with himself until he laid his ghosts to rest.  As it was now, he
felt like his life was put on hold, his entire future hanging in the balance
of what he might discover here.

Akane... had she been real?  Had she been *his*?  Or was she just an image
of a perfect girl he'd created in his heart?

If he'd been right - or even if he *had* been wrong, but as long as Akane
was happy and content right now - maybe then he could let go of the insane
hope in his heart that continued to burn brightly, even after all these
years.  Maybe he could finally move on with his life and not compare any
girl he met with Akane, knowing that he couldn't ever have her.  Maybe he
could finally have peace with himself, knowing that all he'd done was worth
it.

He wouldn't have long to wait.  Above him, a voice announced over the
loudspeakers that the train was entering the Nerima station.  Ranma stood
and took up his backpack from the floor, shouldering it with familiar ease.

The train slowed to a stop, and the doors slid open.  Ranma stepped off the
cab, his hand tugging idly at a strap on his bag.  

Five years ago, he'd also left Nerima through this station.  He'd bought a
ticket and hopped on a train, not caring where it took him.  As long as it
was somewhere far and away from Nerima...

Ranma felt like he was one of those men who'd been stranded in the middle of
an ocean for weeks, and now, he was finally coming home.  Deep inside, a
part of him had waited for this moment for five years.

Everything looked just the same.  The air in the underground station was
cool and smelled a little dank, just as he remembered.  Slivers of light
flitted through the roof, like thin beams of sunlight from the sky just
before the clouds parted after a storm.

Ranma paused in front of a picture of the Tokyo Tower.  He'd lived here half
a year, but he had never been to the tower.  This time, he told himself,
he'd see it before he left.

Maybe he could even go see it with Akane...

*Aww, shaddap,* he thought, mentally smacking himself, as he turned to go.
*Already told ya not to hope -*

Then, as if the thought of her summoned her presence... a picture of
blue-black hair and warm brown eyes flashed in Ranma's mind, and he stopped,
turning sharply...

And the world skidded to an abrupt halt.

People continued to move around him.  Once, someone bumped against his
shoulder roughly, and he took a couple of steps, moving away from the crowd.
His hand slipped inside his pocket and gripped at his pants pocket tightly,
a nervous habit he'd developed during the past few years.

He stared, his eyes unbelieving.  And yet, there she was.  Dressed in a
soft, yellow-print sundress, she looked exactly as he remembered her.  Short
dark hair, tossing in the wind, brown eyes sparkling with laughter...

After five years of longing, five years of fragile hopes and dreams, she was
finally there, standing right in front of him.

*Akane, did you love me?*  He wanted to shout the question, to fling all
propriety and common sense into the air, not caring about anything except
her answer to that one question.  *Let me know, so I can finally figure out
what to do with the rest of my life.*

The loud sound of a horn pierced the air, and Ranma jumped in surprise.  All
of a sudden, the buzz of people around him grew steadily in volume, and
Ranma turned sharply, gaping at the train which was coming into the station
from the other side, slowly coming to a stop, in front of...

"Akane!"

Beside him, an elderly matron jumped in surprise.  People standing beside
him turned around to glare at him, but Ranma just craned his neck, straining
to catch another glimpse of her...

And then he stopped dead, his mind careening as it came to another
realization - that was *Akane's* train!  And she was probably getting on the
train right now, and then it was going to leave, and he was going to...

Run.

And so he ran, dodging past people with the skill and familiarity of five
years ago, when he would dash through the streets of Nerima, with two or
three psychotic martial artists fast at his heels... once or twice, he'd
crash into another man's shoulder, sending the other person stumbling over
his own feet.  He threw back a quick shout of apology, as he continued
running, and then taking the stairs two steps at a time.

Crossing the huge lobby, he darted to the other end of the train station,
his heart beating a furious rhythm in his ears.  He raced down the steps,
working his way through groups of people.  Finally, he stepped onto the
opposite platform just as the train started to leave, speeding steadily down
the tracks.

Panic started to grip his heart.  Maybe she'd already left, gotten on that
train and sped out of his life, just as he'd walked out of hers five years
ago...

"Akane!" he shouted, his steps quickening.  He moved quickly through the
throngs of people, his eyes darting anxiously from face to face, tension
mounting inside him with each second.  "Akane!"  People were starting to
look at him.

Just then, his eyes caught a glimpse of blue-black hair, and he skidded to a
stop.  He started to call her name again, but then he saw her shoulders
stiffen, and then rise and fall as she breathed sharply, as if she'd felt
his presence behind her.  Then, with deliberate slowness, she turned around.


His gaze swept lovingly over her features - her short hair, ruffling gently
in the lightly blowing wind.  Her eyes wide and unbelieving, as she stared
right back at him.

There were so many things to say.  Too many.  All through the long trip,
he'd prepared a short speech for exactly this moment, when he'd finally see
her again.  But now she was standing right in front of him, and he couldn't
remember a single damned word.

But even so, he knew that there was no other place he would rather be at
that moment, than right there beside her.  And as he looked into her
shadowed eyes, Ranma was sure that he'd done the wrong thing in letting her
go, five years ago.

It was like a great burden released from his shoulders.  As much as he was
ashamed of it, in his darkest moments, he had longed for this exact same
thing.  

Because now, he'd finally have a chance.  And this time, come hell or high
water, he was going to make it up to her.  He would set it right.

His heart swelling with joy, he smiled at her, a smile full of promise and
hope.

"Hello, Akane."

					<The End>

****

Author's notes:

This fanfic is in draft mode only.

This second instalment of "The Long Goodbye" was inspired by another song by
Westlife, entitled "What Makes A Man."

Okay, you guessed it.  The old man is a modern-day version of "Houjun," or
better known as Chichiri, of the seven star warriors of Suzaku.  There, my
secret's out.  Yes, I did watch Fushigi Yuugi.  =)  My adaptation of the
story of Houjun/Chichiri was entirely based on the FY OAV2, however, as I
have never read the FY Manga.  And as you noticed, I replaced Chichiri's
smiley-face mask with dark sunglasses.

Certain passages in this story are inspired by the ff. works: "What I was
Once," by Alan Harnum; "The Shadow Chronicles," by Mark MacKinnon; "Hearts
of Ice," by Krista Perry; "Perfect," by Judith McNaught.  "Atlantis: The
Lost Empire," Disney's latest movie.  And some lines are translated from the
Chinese series "Cold Blood Warm Heart."  

Now, comments about the story.  I got a lot of comments from Part 1 about
the ending being too easy.  I hope you don't think that.  It is in no way
easy - five years have passed, and a lot of things have changed, even if
Ranma and Akane still feel the same for each other.  Ranma, for his part,
has a LOT of explaining to do.  And who knows what Akane will do?  

"Fate only takes you so far, and you have to do the rest on your own." -
Can't Hardly Wait.  

I have always meant for this story to end here (ie. to have them meet again)
and I leave them both to work out everything else by themselves, and I have
every faith that they will. =P  I do not think I will be writing any sequel
(part 3) since this will ruin the overall "tone" of the story, which, in
case you didn't get it, was inspired by the ff. lyrics in the song "My
Love":

"So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love."

Hope you all enjoyed reading this story.  As always, any and all C&C are
welcome.

****

WHAT MAKES A MAN - by Westlife

This isn't goodbye.
Even as I watch you leave, this isn't goodbye.
I swear I won't cry. 
Even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry.

Any other girl I'd let you walk away.
Any other girl I'm sure I'd be okay.

Tell me what makes a man, wanna give you all his heart.
To smile when you're around, And cry when you're apart.
If you know what makes a man, wanna love you the way I do.
Girl, you gotta let me know, so I can get over you.

What makes her so right?
Is it the sound of her laugh, that look in her eyes?
When do you decide?
She is the dream that you seek, that force in your life?

When you apologize no matter who was wrong.
And you get on your knees if that would bring her home.

Tell me what makes a man, wanna give you all his heart.
To smile when you're around, or cry when you're apart.
If you know what makes a man, wanna love you the way I do.
Girl, you gotta let me know, so I can get over you.

Other girls will come along, they always do.
But what's the point when all I ever 
Want is you...

****

MY LOVE - by Westlife

An empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart.
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,
The days we had, the songs we sang together.

And all my love, I'm holding on forever, 
reaching for the love that seems so far.

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

I try to read, I go to work, I'm laughing with my friends,
but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,
the days we had, the songs we sang together.

And all my love, I'm holding on forever,
reaching for the love that seems so far.

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

To hold you in my arms, to promise you my love,
To tell you from the heart, the love I'm thinking of.
(Reaching for the love that seems so far...)

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

****

	     .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'