To reply, post publically or e-mail the author at taliesin03@yahoo.com
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The Ranma Fanfic Gets Run Through the Spellchecker

Disclaimer: This fic is short and pointless.  It will probably be
funniest to anyone who has either (a) consumed nothing but Jolt Cola
for three days, or is (b) stoned on OTC painkillers.  Not that I
recommend either of those things.  The spellchecker is Microsoft
Word, and is set to US English.  Everything else is not my fault.

It was a peaceful day in Nerima Ward.  Peaceful, expect inside
the Tendon Dojo, where Ranker Saitama was busy arguing with his
fianc�e, Akin Tendon.  Their shouting was overheard by their fathers,
who looked up from their game of shaggy in irritation.

"Ranker!" shouted his father, Genome.  "You should treat your
fianc�e with more respect!"

"Don't yell at my daughter, Ranker!" yelled Soup Tendon,
Genome's friend and the father of Akin.

Ranker turned to glared at the adults in irritation, which gave
his fianc�e time to pull out her mallet and send him flying into the
Oki pond.  "Ranker no baker," she muttered angrily.

A wet, female Ranker pulled herself from the Oki pond,
muttering something about uncut tomboys.  She had barely dragged
herself back to the dojo when she heard a familiar cry of "Ranker!
For your crimes against Akin, you will pay!"

She turned.  Standing in the yard was her rival, Yoga Hibachi.
Yoga's umbrella was held in a fighting stance, and Ranker sighed
irritably.  "What do you want, P-Chan?"

"I want your life, Ranker!"  With a cry of rage, Yoga charged
at Ranker, yelling "Bakes Tensest!"

This was too easy.  Ranker dodged the first blast, then waited
until Yoga had closed in.  Then, with a loud cry of "Mocha Taikisha,"
she sent a ball of kid hurtling toward Yoga.

Yoga dodged, but barely.  He charged forward again, and Ranker
led him around and around, always dodging, until the last moment,
when the spiral was completed, yelled "Hire Shorten Aha!"  It was
more than enough, and Yoga was blasted over the wall and out of sight.

Ranker fidgeted irritably.  He went inside and got some hot
water, and then decided he needed to get away for a bit.  He left the
dojo, walking along the busy streets until he saw the restaurant
belonging to his old friend, Ukyo Kong.

He smiled.  That was precisely what he needed.  He walked in,
and saw his friend standing behind the grill.  "Hey, Urchin."

"Rancho!" she shouted happily.  "It's good to see you!"  She
gestured to the grill.  "The usual?"

"That'd be great, Urchin."  He smiled, and sat down.  No sooner
had he sat down, though, than the stool leapt away, shouting, "You
shall not steal Ukyo away from me, Saitama!"

Ranker sighed.  It was Tubas Cornea, a master of disguises and
a major pest around the Urchin's.  "Hey, Tubas."

"You shall not steal Ukyo away from me, Saitama!" shouted the
seat.

"Leave me alone, Tubas!  I was never yours to begin with!"
Ukyo shouted angrily, and with a solid whack from her spatula she
sent him spinning through the restaurant wall and into the distant
blue yonder.  "Don't worry, Rancho!"  She smiled dreamily.  "You're
the only one for me!"  She leapt forward, glomming Ranker eagerly.

Ranker finally worked his way free from Ukyo's grasp, and after
finishing his food and saying good-bye to Urchin, he left.  He
decided it would be safe to return home now.  Akin would probably
have cooled down a bit, anyway.  He got home, and jumped to the roof
in order to avoid Genome and Soup.  He crawled through the window to
his room, and made his way to the bathroom.  No one was inside, so he
stripped down and washing himself off first, finally slid into the
hot bath with a sigh of bliss. Nothing felt better to him after a day
in his crazy life than a nice, hot soak in the furry.

            ------------------------------------------------

Author's Notes: I got this idea spellchecking another fic, and so
rather than doing actual work like I should have done I did this.
I apologize to any Japanese speakers (or English speakers, for that
matter) I might have offended.  It may be idiotic, mindless drivel,
but hopefully it was amusing mindless drivel.  Oh, doctor, I'm
ready for my medicine now....

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                     desaix@sysnet.net
Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee
              anime  fanfics available at
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