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The FFML Refugee List
Well, it's me again with another story from a clone.... Wait! Don't run!
This one is nothing like the last one! This was written by my Good Clone,
Aerin.
It's written in a bit of an odd format, but it's for a good reason. When she
first decided to write this, Aerin wanted my help, but she didn't want me
peering physically over my shoulder, so I set up a network between two of my
computers and she used that to bounce ideas off me. I was going to put it
into a standard prose format, but somehow... it lost something. So I
tightened it up a bit, nipped away the time/date stuff, edited out all the
unintentional spelling errors, split it into several parts (for the sake of
those out there with short attention spans) and here it is.
*sniff* It makes me feel so madly scientific to think about how much my
clones have grown up. Why, just last night, Aerin beat me in a game of
Battletech. Me! And Eyewrin, my Evil Clone, created his first non-evil
character. Of course, I had to confiscate it for eighteen counts of
alignment infraction, but...
Sorry for rambling on a bit. You know how a gene-parent is about his clones.
On second thought, you probably don't.
A few warnings. This is a piece of fanfiction about characters, places, and
situations owned by a really kewl company named Gainax (among others), and
this is in no way meant to infringe on their copyright. Also, this story
does NOT endorse underage drinking in any way, shape, or form. I don't even
know where she got the idea from. Maybe she's been hanging around with my
younger sister too much...
Also, she tries to give Gendou some redeeming qualities. One of the problems
with Aerin is that she believes everyone is a good person.
Except for Asuka.
Anyway, on with the story!
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
HAPPY ENDING
Aaron: So, how do you want to start this? It's always best to begin at the
beginning, if that doesn't sound too redundant.
Aerin: I'm not really sure. Maybe after the series ends?
Aaron: Matte. We haven't seen past episode eight yet. How do you expect to
write something after the finale with any accuracy?
Aerin: That didn't stop you from writing Eight Months in Nerima.
Aaron: *clutches chest, mortal wound* That really hurt.
Aaron: How about this: Just start writing. It's cool if it doesn't lead to
anything, but you've gotta start before you can start.
Aaron: That doesn't sound right.
Aerin: Gendo sat at his desk, brooding. If anyone had asked him, he would
have said he was contemplating the latest expense reports for EVA-01 (which
were, in fact, in front of him) but actually he was trying hard to figure
out just why he hated his job.
Misato entered the office without knocking, as she was prone to do. "Hey
boss, I just wanted to remind you.... What's wrong?" Gendo knew he must look
pretty bad when even Misato could tell that something was wrong.
Aaron: Not bad so far. Keep going; no pauses!
Aerin: Gendo sighed. "I'm not sure, Captain. I just feel uneasy today, as if
something were about to happen." He shook his head sharply. "It's probably
nothing. So, what did you want to tell me?"
Misato handed Gendo a piece of paper. "Asuka and Shinji have to attend peer
counseling to teach them how to at least tolerate each other. Asuka tried to
kill Shinji last night over the last pork bun again."
Aaron: Well, I'm not too sure about the characterization there, but
fanfiction is fairly flexible in that regard. ^_~
Aerin: Gendo snapped his fingers. "I've got it! I know exactly what's
wrong!" He pressed the intercom button. "Six security guards to my office.
Now."
When they got there, Gendo steepled his fingers and said, "Bring me Asuka
Langley Soryuu. In one hour." The guards took one look at each other and
started running.
Gendo reached into his desk, pulled out a manga, and cracked it open.
Misato, curious about what the boss was up to, sat down in a nearby chair.
In forty-three minutes, Asuka stood before Gendo's desk, under full
restraints. "What the hell is going on here?!" she demanded.
Gendo, after a suitable pause, closed his manga. "I have decided," he
declared, "what is wrong with our current method of operation. Really, we
only need two EVA pilots, and I prefer to keep Rei and Shinji because they
are easily controlled. You are fired. Dispose of her appropriately." So they
tied stones to Asuka's legs and threw her into the ocean, and everyone lived
happily ever after.
Aerin: The end.
Aaron: ...
Aaron: ...
Aaron: ...
Aaron: SQUEAKY MALLET TO THE HEAD ATTACK!!!
Using fanfiction to satisfy a personal grudge against a character is both
low and dangerous! Don't you read revengefics?
Aerin: ...
Aerin: I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just not ready for this.
Aaron: Don't stress. It took me a lot of practice to write as well as I do
now, and I'm still not as good as I'm going to be. Besides, you're still
only a few months old! Give it time.
Aerin: *sighs* I am SO tired of hearing that.
Aaron: *chuckle* Understood. Look, I'm gonna run to the store and get some
sodas. I'll be back in, say, twenty minutes. Try starting over from:
So, what did you want to tell me?"
I'll leave my connection up; just keep sending stuff to it. Ja.
Aerin: I wonder how you do it. I've seen you chuckle at a funny idea, sit
down at the computer, and have nine pages finished before an hour is out.
How do you do it?
Aerin: "Just write." Well, it couldn't hurt.
"So, what did you want to tell me?"
Misato handed him a blank birthday card. "Shinji's birthday is today. Some
people and I are throwing him a party around twenty hundred, and I thought
you'd like to give him a card, sir." After Gendo hesitantly took the card,
she said, "Gotta scoot. The party's being held at my place, and it's a pit!
Shinji finally learned how to play jankenpon.... Besides, I'm responsible
for the catering and the drinks." She shrugged. "Too bad most of the people
attending are underage. Que sera, sera." She waved and left.
After the door had closed behind her, Gendo looked at the card she'd handed
him. The front held a picture of a cartoon dog saying via speech-bubble,
"Sorry I missed your birthday, but..." Without opening it, Gendo knew it
would have a pithy joke inside, meant to lift the gloom of an absent parent
from a child's birthday, if only for a moment.
Absently, he tried to remember how many times he'd signed cards just like
this. Presumably sevem times, since that was the number of birthdays Shinji
had had since their separation; but he couldn't recall doing it even once.
It wasn't that he hated his son, though he had no doubt more than a few of
his subordinates thought just that. It was just that... whenever he tried to
go near his son, he just couldn't seem to tolerate the weakness covering
Shinji's strength.
Of course, he'd never really tried...
Gendo nodded as he resolved to do his best to tolerate and, maybe, bond a
little with his son. Starting tonight, before the party...
****
Misato kicked the last of the empty beer cans into the hall closet, closed
the door, and dusted her hands dramatically. "Well, that's that. The house
is clean for the first time in I don't know how long. Now, to cater." She
rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I wonder if Ukyou's House of Pancakes
delivers?"
The doorbell rang. Misato, wondering who it could possibly be, moved quickly
through the apartment to the door. Upon opening it, she was surprised to
find Rei standing there, wearing a nice dress and holding a gift-wrapped
package.
"What are you doing here, Rei?"
Rei held up the gift. "i was told the party was at eighteen hundred. i
wished to arrive early."
Misato looked at her watch. It read 1740. "Well, the party doesn't actually
begin until twenty hundred, but I guess you can hang out until then."
Rei shrugged. "very well." She entered, took her shoes off and went straight
to the couch. Before sitting down, she said softly, "do you have anything to
drink?"
Misato frowned. She'd meant to go buy sodas or something before the party,
but with the arrival of one of the guests, that pretty much precluded
leaving the house. Which meant... "The only things I've got to drink are
beer and water. Shinji guzzled the last of the Fizzygoos this morning."
"could i try a beer?"
Misato said, "I don't see why not. One beer isn't going to kill you." She
moved to her beer fridge and retrieved two cold ones. As she reentered the
living room, Misato tossed one can to Rei, who caught it handily.
"thanks."
Misato would've answered, but another ring of the doorbell distarcted her.
She rolled her eyes. "Another mistaken partygoer?" She walked back to the
door and opened it again. This time, Asuka was standing behind it.
"Is Shinji-baka here yet?" At Misato's negative gesture, Asuka visibly
relaxed a bit. "Good. I wanted to get here early, in case it really was a
surprise party." She held up a rubber mask with entirely too many fangs,
feathers, tusks, tentacles, noses, and slime drippings. Asuka grinned. "I'm
gonna make him crap his pants."
Misato counted on her fingers as she spoke. "One: It is _not_ a surprise
party. Two: The party is at twenty hundred, not eighteen. Three: That mask
is _not_ entering my house." She pointed at it.
"Dammit, why not?" Asuka demanded furiously.
"Because it looks just like my old boyfriend," Misato said with a lopsided
grin to show she was probably just joking, but she didn't move aside.
"Chikusho," Asuka said ill-naturedly. She turned the mask inside out, until
only innocous grey rubber was showing. "That good enough?" Misato nodded and
stepped back, allowing Asuka into the entranceway.
As Asuka stepped in, she looked around casually. "Wow, it's clean! And I
didn't do anything!" She paused for a moment, then added, "I can't believe
you made Shinji clean on his birthday." Not noticing the small sweatdrop
that appeared on Misato's head, she asked, "Where are you seating the
guests?"
Misato gestured to the living room. "Rei's already there."
Asuka rolled her eyes. "The Wonder Girl. Great. Positively joyous." She
walked into the living room and waved. "Hey, Rei. This isn't a surprise
party after all."
Rei frowned. "darn. what do i do with this then?" She held up a rubber
Richard Nixon mask.
Misato blinked. Then, the doorbell rang again. Without saying anything (for
fear of sounding like Asuka) she turned back around and walked to the door.
This time, there were three people standing behind the door: Doctor Ritsuko
Akagi and Shinji's two friends from school. After a moment's hesitation,
Misato remembered their names as Touji and Kensuke. The both bowed and
chorused, "How nice to see you again, Kisaragi-san!"
"If you're here for the party, it isn't until twenty hundred. You're welcome
to stay and hang out, I guess."
Ritsuko frowned. "I canceled two appointments tonight for this, and I don't
really want to go back to my apartment and have to drive back here later."
She swept past Misato.
Touji and Kensuke bowed again and chorused, "Got nothin' better to do!"
Misato sighed as they swept past her. _Well, I suppose it's nice to have
younger men gaping at me..._
Misato closed the door and was about to head back into the living room when
the doorbell rang _again_. She whirled around and slammed the door open,
prepared to give someone a piece of her mind, but the words died in her
throat.
Now, a girl floating ten inches above the ground is unusual in any
circumstances. The tigerstriped bikini and green hair tripled the weirdness
factor. And when she spotted the horns, the reality of this person hit her,
and Misato almost hyperventilated before calming herself by thinking _I've
seen organic engines of war taller the highest skyscrapers trying to crush
my city underfoot. How much more frightening can one girl be?_ Little did
she know...
The girl asked, "Is Darling here?"
Somehow, that simple question made the whole thing seem even stranger.
Misato asked confusedly, "Who?"
The girl bounced in midair. "Darling said that he'd be crashing a party with
lots of beautiful girls tonight, so I put a tracer on him. The signal is
from somewhere in this building. When I spotted all the people heading to
this apartment, I knew he'd be here." The girl sighed. "I guess I was
wrong."
Misato rubbed her chin again, a habit she was picking up from Gendo. "If
he's looking for beautiful women, he'll end up here eventually anyway. Want
to come in and wait for him like a spider?"
The girl started to say something, then smiled and said, "Why not? I might
as well save my energy for the shock I'm going to give Darling!"
Misato waved her in. "After you."
After Misato reentered her living room, she was treated to an unfortunately
common sight: Asuka Langley Soryuu whining. "Why does _she_ get beer?" The
irate mecha pilot leveled one finger at Rei.
Rei belched cutely, then blinked in surprise.
As Misato opened her mouth to reply, the doorbell rang once more. For just
one moment, Misato could feel herself swelling in pure rage. "Just get one
for everyone." She stomped her way back to the door.
Somehow, she wasn't surprised by the two four-foot-tall men with beards and
jeweled belts standing in her doorway. They both bowed deeply, and one said,
"I am Balin, and this is Dwalin. We heard there was going to be a party here
tonight."
Just as Misato was about to scream at them, Dwalin added, "We brought our
own keg."
Misato's salivary glands broke into action, threatening to drown her in her
own drool. "Keg?" All she could think of was that poor, half-empty fridge
that everyone was going to be snitching beers out of all night long.
_Anything to keep my supply going..._
Both the dwarves nodded solemnly and hefted their keg between them, so
Misato waved them in and said, "Come in, come in! Guests that bring their
own beer are always welcome!"
After they'd filed past her, Misato turned her back to the still-open door
to watch them. She wondered out loud, looking at all the people in her
living room, "I wonder who told them that the party was this early?"
"That," someone behind her said smilingly, "is a secret." By the time
Misato had turned around, the speaker had disappeared, leaving only a
black-tinged wind behind.
****
Gendo hesitated at the door of the changing room, wondering if he should, or
even could, take the final step. Shinji was inside, he knew. Waiting for
something like this? Not even the best security systems could tell you what
someone was thinking. Somehow, the final step was the hardest one to take.
He would never know if he would've had the courage to do it, though, because
just as he was raising his hand to the door release, it slid open, and
Shinji looked up at his father.
Gendo was the first to speak. "Hello, Shinji. How are you?"
Shinji shrugged. "Fine." He tried to step past his father, but Gendo wasn't
moving.
Gendo said hastily, "What were you planning to do this afternoon?"
"Hit the arcade, get my birthday party over with, go to sleep. Not much."
"Can I drive you to the arcade?" Gendo tried to sound casual, but Shinji's
eyes still narrowed.
"Why?"
Gendo most distinctly did _not_ say, "Because you're my only son in a job
that could kill you at any time and I think we need to do a little bonding
just in case," because he figured that approach would only scare the crap
out of his son. Or make him curl up in the fetal position, chanting "mustn't
run away mustn't run away mustn't run away..."
He also didn't say, "I want to watch you more closely because you amuse me,"
because that approach would only piss Shinji off. Instead, he chose a nice,
safe, generic answer. "Because I'm heading in that direction."
Shinji crossed his arms over his chest. "How do you know which one I'm gonna
go to?"
Gendo could literally feel the nice safe genericness of his answer crumbling
around his ears. He froze for just a split second, and he watched a look of
triumph cross Shinji's face. Then, struck with a sudden inspiration, he
said, "I knew because there's only one arcade worth going to in this whole
town."
A small spark of interest lit Shinji's face. "Oh, really. Which one?"
Gendo made an expansive gesture with one hand. "Chun-Li's, of course! It's
the only arcade in town with not only a full compliment of the latest games,
but an entire wing dedicated to the classics!"
Shinji scratched his head. "I don't think I've ever been there." Gendo
chuckled at his son.
"That's not surprising. Chun-Li's is actually a very exclusive club. Come
on, I'll get you a membership." Gendo started for the parking lot (which was
only two miles away from his actual office; rank hath its privileges.)
Shinji stared after him for a moment, trying to decide whether or not he was
hallucinating, then decided _Hell with it_ and followed his father.
Gendo slowed down just enough to
Aaron: Yo.
Aerin: You're back!
Aaron: Yeah, and I must say that this scene with Shinji and his dad, while
slightly touching, has done its job for now. Maybe you should cut it off
here, and get back to Misato and the others. That part has... potential.
Aerin: Really? You think so? I'm not really sure where to go with that part
from there.
Aaron: Oh, I'm sure I can give you a few suggestions...
End Part One
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