[FFML] [Ranma 1/2]Curing of the Cat Fist Part One

I hope too many people aren't hurt by this, my newest story :)

It's going to be short, people, so don't worry too much (and no, I'm not talking ill against short people).

Anyway, on with the story :)

Troy

***

"If I had a million dollars,
I'd build a treefort in our yard,"
Barenaked Ladies

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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: authorthomasctcf1.txt

Curing the Cat Fist
By Troy Thomas

Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creations and properties
of Rumiko Takahashi. Excepting flames, if you have any
comments or criticisms, feel free to send them my way.

***

Part One
Scaredy Cat

It was early in the summer morning, when three people entered
the Tendo dojo.

"Are you sure you've thought this all the way through?" Akane
Tendo asked, following the leader with her hands folded
across her waist. A bead of sweat ran down the side of her
face.

The man she was questioning, Genma Saotome, ignored her
actual question, and answered a question he wanted to hear,
"Akane, I believe I finally have the answer to Ranma's fear
of cats!" He beamed. "After he's cured, you and he can
finally be married!"

"Uh yeah, but what about Ranma? Are you sure he wants to be
cured right now?" Akane enquired. She looked worriedly at the
squirming young man, who was tied up by a thick steel chain
and wrapped in meaty looking bologna, riding on Genma's
shoulder. "It would seem the cure is worse than the
problem..."

"Don't worry about a thing, Akane." Genma patted his son,
Ranma, on the back, and began to smile. "After tonight, Ranma
will have an entirely new opinion about his old man. Right
Boy?"

The young man squirmed in reply, and if weren't for the gag
in his mouth, the young man would've been screaming.

A tear ran down Genma's face. "You see, after I taught Ranma
the Cat-Fist, I never again tried to cure my boy of his
girlish fear of cats..."

"I'm a girl, and I don't fear cats, Mister Saotome..." Akane
warned.

Genma thought for a moment, running a hand over his bandana.
"Then let me rephrase myself...I never again tried to cure my
boy of his cowardly fear of cats.

Ranma spit the gag out of his mouth. "I ain't afraid of
nothing!" He began thrashing his body about, which caused his
father to lose grip on him. After being dropped, the boy
jumped to his feet, and glared at Genma. "And it's all your
fault anyway!"

"Boy, quit complaining!" Genma threw a cat at Ranma, and
began to point at his son, who was a moment later frozen in
place by fear with the cat sleeping on his head.

"You see Akane, tonight, after all these years since that
tragedy..." The tear returned to Genma's face. "I think I
finally have found the answer!"

Akane stared hard and worriedly at the Master of Saotome
School of Anything Goes. The bead of sweat running down her
face's side seemed to be larger. "But how's that..." She
pointed to Ranma, who was still frozen in shock, and the
bologna, which was being eaten by the cat. "Going to cure
anything?"

Shooing the cat away, Genma picked the boy up and tossed him
over his shoulder. "It just will, okay? Now would you mind
opening that trapdoor?" He pointed to the dojo's floor, where
there really was a trapdoor.

"Do I hear cats?" Akane wondered aloud. She crouched, and
then opened the door. "Oh my..."

Before having any chance to comment on the especially hungry
yowling coming from beneath the dojo, Ranma was tossed
screaming into the pit.

"Are you kitties really hungry?" Genma asked, crouching
beside Akane looking into the pit, his voice hollering after
the falling form.

***

She looked down at the mass of cuts and bites. Her eyes were
narrowed and disbelieving. "Why the heck did I even believe
you?" she asked. "Why the heck did you even think bologna
would cure him?"

"Because when he was...six...the fish...stakes,
sau...sausages, and...pepperoni didn't...work!" Genma
replied, before falling into unconsciousness.

Stepping gingerly over the beaten man and around the hundreds
of screaming and frightened cats, Akane walked over to her
fianc�, who in a cat-like fashion was washing his hand, or
paw.

"Here kitty, kitty!" she said, after sitting down, gesturing
for Ranma to sit in her lap. A moment later, he was curled up
asleep on her lap.

***

"Stupid Pop!" Ranma growled. He was sitting at the kitchen
table, having his scratched arm looked at by Akane. "Ow! Be
careful with that stuff. It stings."

"You baby." Akane said to Ranma. "It's peroxide. You need it
so you don't get infected by any diseases!"

Ranma ignored her, and continued to grumble, "Stupid
Pop...Why's he got to be so dumb?"

"An entirely new opinion, hmm?" Nabiki, who was sitting on
the table's other side, asked, her voice directed at Genma.
"Seems like the same old one to me."

Sitting alone, his eyes closed, Genma acted as though he
didn't even hear Nabiki's question.

Kasumi, sitting to Nabiki's left, smiled at Genma. "Don't
forget, Mister Saotome, to buy more bologna. We're all out
after this morning."

Although he acted not hearing Kasumi's comment, a troubled
expression crossed Genma's face at the mention of him needing
to part with money.

"Ow! You're too clumsy!" Ranma said, glaring at Akane.
"That's too much."

"You jerk! Sit still!" Akane shouted.

"I would if you weren't torturing me with that stuff! Ow! Are
you enjoying this, you sadist?" A second later, Ranma was
sitting still, a mark of a fist embedded on his face. His
head was turned to the side, as though something had rushed
past it incredible quickly and turned it.

"Do you need some ice, Akane?" Kasumi asked.

Alone, Genma sat still, paying no attention to the world
around him.

***

"Humph! How can he be so stupid?" Ranma asked.

"Are you still complaining about that?" Akane asked, a bit
tired.

The two were walking down the street during the midday,
towards the beach.

Suddenly, from behind the two, came a series of running
steps. Turning about, they saw it was Genma carrying an
armload of cats.

Opening his mouth to scream, Ranma found his throat wasn't
working. Unable to scream, he opted to begin running instead.

"Damn it! He got away!" Genma said, exasperated. "And I was
hoping differently coloured cats would do the trick too!" He
walked away muttering, "That ingrate! And after I've done all
this work too." The cats in his arms mewled pathetically.

'I hope he isn't going to be doing that all day.' Akane
thought, dreading the knowledge Genma was going to continue
his behaviour.

Ranma began to run by her, but she grabbed onto his pigtail
stopping him immediately. "He's gone now, you know." Akane
said, hoping Ranma would cease his screaming. However, she
noticed something in the air. "What's that smell? Bologna?"

A cat under her feet meowed.

Jumping into Akane's arms, Ranma struggled to move further
away. Unfortunately, his actions only served to tighten his
hold around Akane, which some passer-by's were referring to
as a hug.

"Didn't you take a bath?" Akane demanded.

"Cat! Cat!" Ranma answered. His hold tightened even further.

"Get off!" After booting the pigtailed boy into the air,
Akane turned around and huffed, "Honestly! If he only thought
before going out..."

A moment later, she thought, 'Wait a minute...That dork's got
all the money!' Hastily, she started running in the direction
of Ranma's flight.

***

Genma looked at the salesman with distrust. "So you're saying
you don't have any items like I'm describing?" Genma leaned
forward. "Are you sure? You don't have any magical spells
which will cure someone of their fear of cats, without the
caster having to do too much work?"

"No." Not liking the distrust the customer was showing him,
the salesman leaned forward towards Genma. "I only have
objects of immense and terrible power that the hardworking
can use for their own means."

The salesman leaned back, and blew out a breath of annoyed
air. "I do have an object where no spell is cast at all, but
I don't think it's quite what you're looking for..."

"Is this it?" Genma was standing over the glass counter
looking at a one of kind object, which was labelled one of
kind.

"Yes, but I don't..."

Digging into his pockets, Genma brought out a five hundred
yen. "Will this be enough?"

"Sir, you..."

Genma added another two hundred and fifty to his original
sum.

"I..."

"Fine." Adding another two hundred and fifty yen, Genma
pointed to the object. "Now give it to me."

"No." The salesman sighed. "It is not for sale."

"Daddy, who is this funny man?" a girl asked, bringing out a
plateful of delicious food to the salesman. She was referring
to Genma.

"My, what a wonderful daughter you have." Genma said, an idea
beginning to emerge. "You know, I have a son about her
age..."

***

Half an hour later, walking out of the store, well fed and
content, Genma patted down on his newly bought, 'Mystery
Tiara of Cat-astrophic Proportions'.

He grinned. "Okay Boy. Today, once and for all, I cure your
one weakness."

Strangely, if Genma had heard himself afterwards, he might've
wondered why his laugh sounded terribly evil. Since he wasn't
listening to himself, he was instead cackling as he ran down
the street, until he darkened the late summer day street no
longer.

End Part One

***

Author's Notes:
This is my attempt at writing a Ranma 1/2 flavoured story. I
think I need help, with it, the story I mean.

Anyway, it shouldn't be too long. I think it should only take
two or three more equally paced parts to conclude, 'Curing of
the Cat-Fist'.

For those of you who are wondering (there might be a couple
of people wondering...Of course, I'm really stretching my
presumption saying even one person reads what I write (I
never said they liked it)), I'm writing this, because I'm
making too little progress with Chapter Five for 'Comfort in
the Eye of Chaos', and I need to break the ice so it can be
written.

This is also an idea I've had for quite some time, when I
wondered what it would take to cure Ranma of his one
weakness.

My conclusion included cats, dogs, and magical mayhem.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Another part should be
out shortly (only after it's written of course).

Troy