Subject: [FFML] [FY][one-shot] Softly Faded
From: Matthew Johnston
Date: 7/8/2001, 6:17 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com
Reply-to:
matthew@kingdomofmel.com

SPOILER WARNING:  Contains spoilers for events in or before 
episode 13.  Please watch through episode 13 before reading.

                         *    *    *    *

This is the story of a boy who made his dream come true after he 
came to possess the love of a young girl.  It is a fairy tale of 
sorts; it ends as many such tales must, and begins as all should:

...Once upon a time.

------------------------------------------------------------------

                         *    *    *    *

                    F U S H I G I    Y U U G I
                       Softly Faded Lullaby

                              *    *

 The anime (c) 1995 Yu Watase/Shogakukan/TV Tokyo/Studio Pierrot
              Licensed by FUJI Creative Corporation.
        Released in North America by Pioneer Entertainment

               Fushigi Yuugi: Softly Faded Lullaby 
                 (c) 1999, 2001 Matthew Johnston
                       All Rights Reserved.

                         *    *    *    *

------------------------------------------------------------------

Once upon a time, on a beaten path, somewhere between a village 
and another, larger village, three cloaked riders sat atop their 
horses, traveling slowly across the frozen desert.  Their 
clothing, which to them seemed normal, probably was.  However, 
they simply could not be sure.  the cold bit at them, even through 
their heavy robes, and so they had, over the course of days, 
decided such clothing was a good and logical thing.  There were, 
however, other issues.
     "Heads," the short one announced, a coin perched on the back 
of his hand, covered by a thick leather glove.  He moved the coin 
back to his other hand, and prepared to flip it again.
     "How many is that?"  The largest of the three riders, riding 
at the back, had lost count early on in the trip.
     "Too many," the old one replied.  His body was thin, but not 
yet frail.  His staff, wrapped to hide its nature, clattered 
against another hard possession beneath the canvas as they rode.  
Their horses were slow, weary from the cold winter ride, yet they 
continued, moving steadily towards the capitol.
     "We'll make it in time, yes?" the large swordsman asked.
     "We will," the wizard replied again.
     The thief flipped his coin again, and caught it in the air 
with the same hand.  Closing his eyes, he pressed the coin flat on 
the back of his other hand.  "Any bets?" he asked again.
     Neither answered.
     The thief lifted his hand slowly.  "Heads," he announced, 
with the same enthusiasm, if tainted by a little more curiosity 
than before.
     And so it went for a number of miles, and a number of hours, 
until they made camp.  They moved silently, slowly, without any 
pressing need, save a nagging feeling in the bones of the large 
one.  They ate, and contemplated silently.  The wizard meditated 
again, hoping to glean something more from the vision he had one 
morning, six days and a journey ago.
     "We were called," he mused.  "This we know for sure."
     The swordsman chewed his bread thoughtfully.  "Do we know our 
names?"
     The wizard shook his head.  "I cannot remember."  He pointed 
his staff at the dwindling fire, and it regained some of its 
former intensity.  There was a small waft of sulfur as the spell 
took hold.  "But we were called."
     The thief scowled, at last bored with the coin.  "There must 
be something else, something more in your head."
     "Blue," the wizard admitted finally.  "I see blue."
     "Well," the swordsman contemplated, "we must be experienced 
at our positions.  I've seen you work sorcery, and I've been able 
to use my sword with ease."  He pointed to the thief.  "Of course, 
you stole my coin, but I'm not sure why I should care."  He smiled 
finally, his winter-red cheeks surrounding a large, white set of 
teeth.
     "This is true."  The wizard nodded.  "And, our abilities must 
be required, else we would not have been called."
     "This is ridiculous!"  The thief stood, and drew his dagger, 
playing with it, maneuvering it acrobatically in his hands.  
"We've been talking this in a circle, making a trench in the 
ground with it.  We don't have a clue why we're here, only that 
we're here."
     "You're right..."  The wizard paused, hoping a name would 
come to his lips.  None did.  "A sign.  We need a signal that our 
progress towards the capitol is the correct maneuver."
     All three waited for a moment, still and silent.
     "Didn't work," the thief grinned.  "Maybe tomorrow."

The next morning, the morning of the seventh day, came without 
incident.  the horses, still cold, still tired, carried their 
possessions as the three walked them at a casual pace towards the 
capitol.
     The trip was probably unusual -- though none could be 
completely sure, as they had no memory of any trip before this one 
-- in that they had met no other travelers, even though the road 
was well-worn, and obviously some sort of trade route.  The 
landscape itself was barren, the ground cold, frozen beneath them.
 
Everything felt still.  The guarantee of the one-headed coin 
turning up heads each time seemed to confirm the wizard's growing 
suspicions that perhaps they were without time, that they were yet 
to exist.
     The wizard tried to explain as much to the swordsman, who 
shook his head, and said that they existed, but could not give a 
reason that satisfied the wizard.
     If they had indeed not existed, or if they had existed 
outside of experience, what they saw at that moment brought them 
out of that state.  The horses, spooked, backed away.  The three 
horsemen did as well make a small retreat.  This is what they saw:
     A blue flash, blinding, silent, and then suddenly roaring, 
deafening for an instant and suddenly gone with the light.  Unlike 
the wizard's spell, the air did not crackle, nor was there the 
aroma of sulfur.  And, where the flash had touched to ground, a 
scant few paces ahead of them, there lay a small girl.  She didn't 
stir, nor did she seem dead.  She simply did nothing.
     Nobody approached her.  All three were silent until the thief 
spoke:
     "My name is Tensyo."  He stepped forward, handing the reins 
of his horse to the wizard.
     "This is it, isn't it?" the swordsman asked the wizard.  
"This is why we were called, yes?"
     The wizard nodded.  "Yes.  She is why we were called."
     The young girl stirred finally, and the thief, Tensyo, 
kneeled beside her, helping her to her feel.
     "Mi... Miyaka?" she asked weakly.
     "Don't worry," Tensyo murmured.  "You'll be okay."
     She nodded slowly, accepting his words.  "Thank you."  
     She seemed dazed, and her strange clothing only served to 
heighten the group's caution around her.  They knew why they had 
been called.  They were to guard her, or escort her. In each mind, 
each man was not quite sure which it was, or if maybe it was 
something completely different.  Regardless, though, their purpose 
had been established, and, armed with their abilities and their 
meager past together, they would do their best to do that which 
they had been called to do.
     "What is your name, child?" the wizard asked softly as she 
and Tensyo approached.
     "Y-Yui," she began.  "Yui Hongo."  She looked at the old 
man's beard, his darker robes, and seemed slightly puzzled.  
"What's your name?" she inquired.
     Had the moment been any previous, and the question been the 
same, the wizard would have been unable to answer.  However, as 
she asked, the words came to him, and he knew them to be his name.
 
"My name is Chiyou.  I am a wizard."  He bowed slightly, feeling 
suddenly that it was the right thing to do.  
     Impulses of such things, the rightness of an action, seemed 
to this point foreign.  However, he realized that such impulses 
were beginning to flow through him.  That, in and of itself, felt 
right, and so he decided mentally to follow them.
     The girl, Yui, bowed her head in response, but her next 
question was on the heels of the last.  "Where am I?"
     The swordsman, who had to this point been quite silent in the 
presence of the young girl, spoke slowly, definitely, with the 
same confidence of the one now called Chiyou.  That is to say, he 
delivered the words from his mouth, and learned what he himself 
was teaching.
     "You are in Kutou, a league or so away from the capitol."  He 
smiled ruefully, for he did not know his name.  He hoped she asked 
him soon, so he may learn it.
     "I see," Yui murmured.  "And what is your name?"
     The swordsman opened his mouth, but paused.  Finally, with 
great effort, he spoke:  "I don't know."
     All three looked at him, and he felt suddenly powerless.
     "Are you sure?" asked Tensyo.
     "Try again," Chiyou coaxed.
     The swordsman did try, but he could not feel the words inside 
him.  "I'm afraid," he began, "that I cannot remember my name."

                         *    *    *    *

After the arrival of Yui Hongo into lives of the three riders, 
time seemed to move faster than before.  The air was no longer 
still, though still chill; each rider gave up a cloak to Yui, 
until she was practically buried in their expanse.  And, though it 
may have been out of sympathy, for that is what he thought at the 
time, she rode with the nameless swordsman, which Yui had decided 
to name "Tamahome".  She said it was the name of her true love.
     This at once pleased and hurt the swordsman, for he could 
feel somewhere beneath his skin a small stirring.  Something 
growing, slowly heating beyond the fraternal warmth of friendship.
 
That she had a true love already bit into this feeling, and filled 
his head with guilt.  
     Though he was a large man, and known for his strength of 
body, he was not without those faculties that made the wizard and 
thief great in their professions.  He was ready to admit that he 
did not have the ability of mental acrobatics that the other two 
had in varying degrees.  However, he was not a giant without a 
brain.
     And so they rode, Yui with "Tamahome", sitting in front of 
him, his great arms on either side, holding his horse's reins.  
The other two rode behind them, and contemplated their newly found 
identities.  Though he did not grudge them their names, the 
swordsman did not think along those lines.  His moved towards 
methods of best protecting the girl Yui.
     As night fell, the three made camp, and the swordsman made 
sure Yui was warm, fed, and protected.  Though he had no name, he 
knew what he was to do, and it was these things that to him felt 
most right.
     "I will keep watch," the swordsman stated plainly, "and when 
we reach the capitol in three days time, you will find your 
friend."
     And this is what he thought through the night as he watched 
her sleep, sitting a few meters away, strong in his constitution 
to stay so vigilant through the night.  He was awake long after 
the camp's fire had become a barely visible glow, and then went 
out completely.
     He moved closer then to view her better.  That was when he 
noticed a figure moving ahead of the camp.
     "Who goes there?" he asked, unsheathing his sword.
     There was no reply.  The swordsman kicked Chiyou.  "I need 
light," he whispered gruffly.
     The old wizard awoke and complied.  In moments, the fire was 
burning again.  There was no figure to be seen, and Yui was still 
sleeping, sound and secure in the blankets and cloaks.  The 
swordsman sheathed his blade, and returned to his watch, closer 
now, prepared for the figure he was sure he had seen moving just 
beyond the shadows of the tundra.

The next morning brought with it the distant light of the sun, and 
a check of the area surrounding the camp, just to be sure.  The 
swordsman could not find anything, nor could the thief, Tensyo 
(the swordsman found it increasingly easy to associate the name 
with the person, though he never said the man's name aloud).  
However, Chiyou the wizard, stopping in the area where the 
swordsman said that the intruding shadow had been, roughly of 
course, closed his eyes, and found a vision waiting.  Upon seeing 
it, he immediately regretted it, and refused to speak of the 
matter in front of the young lady Yui.  In private conference, 
Chiyou confided in the swordsman and thief his vision, which, 
while vague, did hint at events in the future which could be 
construed either as helpful, or hurtful.  
     And thus the beginning of the eighth day of the swordsman's 
life came and went, fading into the long, traveling middle, during 
which the young Lady Yui (as he had come to call her, for she 
seemed pleased by the title) rode with the swordsman, her 
Tamahome, pressing her small form close to keep warm.  And though 
the swordsman's longing for her grew with each of her sleeping 
sighs and waking giggles, he did not break form, nor did he let 
his visage of control and honor crack.
     After the news of the vision, the three riders spoke very 
little to each other, focusing their attention on Lady Yui.  If 
she spoke, they'd respond attentively, for they had come to accept 
their positions as her attendants, something which had come as 
naturally as any of their other traits.  She did not ask for much, 
nor did she take much when things like water or food were offered.
 
For, as much as they had become her attendants, she still felt a 
stranger in the land, and had become preoccupied with her quest of 
finding her friends Miyaka and Tamahome.

The evening came, and all three riders felt the chill of winter in 
their bones, the biting winds penetrating their cloaks as if they 
were not even being worn. They ate silently, and watched each 
other intently, knowing that, come the morn, one of them would be 
dead, and they would have to continue on.
     Nobody spoke until Tensyo, who had been the most visibly 
frustrated of the three finally announced: "We should ride through 
the night."
     Already half-asleep in front of the fire, the Lady Yui gently 
protested.  "I'm so tired," she explained, "and no matter how 
tired I am, you must be more so.  We couldn't possibly ride 
tonight."
     The swordsman nodded before speaking.  "When danger comes, we 
shall ride.  However, I will not tire our horses and ourselves to 
death..." he paused on the word, but continued, "...simply to 
shorten our quest."  Chiyou agreed with the swordsman, and Lady 
Yui seemed pleased by the idea, and thus slept, secure in her 
swordsman's vigilant gaze.
     The shadowy figure returned as the fire died.  All three 
riders were awake, and all three at the ready.  The figure 
silhouetted before them, a few meters away, spoke.
     "My friends, I mean you no harm.  I am Tamahome."
     The swordsman left his hand on the hilt of his sheathed 
sword, but beckoned the figure come closer.  Chiyou, with his 
staff, re-lit the fire.  Tensyo carved an apple, a midnight snack, 
with his dirk.  Lady Yui remained asleep, for they did all this as 
quietly as possible.
     "We welcome you," the swordsman spoke.  "Please sit and join 
us."
     Tamahome did so, and they talked for a number of minutes, 
until Lady Yui rolled over, still asleep, revealing her face 
clearly to all.  Tamahome saw the girl's sleeping face, and 
smiled.
     "Who is this young girl?" he asked.  "She is certainly unlike 
any I've seen before."
     The swordsman drew his sword and jumped to his feet; The 
shadow's disguise had been found out.  Chiyou stood behind him, 
and Tensyo to his left, both guarding Lady Yui.  "You are not who 
you say you are," the swordsman intoned darkly.  "Reveal 
yourself."
     The figure self-named Tamahome melted, revealing a shadow of 
liquid black that formed itself in the shape of a man, without 
eyes or a mouth, but with an imposing musculature.  The shade 
leapt forward, and slashed at the swordsman, who cut at it with 
his sword.  The creature dissipated, only to reform behind him.  
He slashed at Tensyo, and hit home, opening the thief's chest.  He 
died with a scream that rang out in Lady Yui's ear, awakening her 
to the battle.
     The swordsman, enraged by the death of his friend, attacked 
the shade again, and again it dissipated.  Chiyou, however, was 
ready, already casting a lengthy incantation.  As the shadowy 
death appeared again, it was met with a flash of light that 
removed all shadow from the camp for a short time, long enough for 
the shade to be dispatched, screaming much like the slain Tensyo 
did.
     Lady Yui, in shock from the battle, kneeled beside the fallen 
Tensyo, and wept softly, for she had never before seen someone 
die.  Chiyou and the swordsman gathered their possessions, and 
prepared the horses to ride.  The wizard said a few silent words 
for his friend, and, with the swordsman's agreement, cremated 
Tensyo, lest he be scavenged.
     Chiyou and the swordsman rode on their horses; for a time 
Lady Yui rode on Tensyo's horse.  However, she soon became tired, 
and so they led Tensyo's horse, and Lady Yui once again rode with 
the swordsman.  He did not speak, his great arms around her as he 
held her with one, and reined his horse with the other.  He could 
feel her breathing, warm on his neck as she slept.  The longing 
inside him grew slowly.  He wished to know his true name, or at 
least to know why he did not come to know his own identity as 
Tensyo and Chiyou had.  He wondered if it should have been him, 
the one without a true identity, who was to die at the hands of 
his shadowy namesake.
     Just then, as his mind wandered melancholy, he heard Lady Yui 
murmur the name she had given him.  He looked down, and found she 
was no longer asleep.  And, as she smiled at him, weak with 
fatigue and sorrow, yet still strong beneath it, he felt his 
brooding mood slowly fade into the cold, black night.

                         *    *    *    *

The weary, saddened group stopped as the sun passed its apex, and 
had a long rest.  They had decided to travel the majority of their 
miles between their location and the capitol at night, moving as 
the shadows played about, rather than standing and letting them 
take them.  Chiyou had agreed to keep his spell of light-flash at 
the ready, though he noted that he had felt drained after the 
experience of it before.  Thus, they knew that staying still, and 
possibly falling out of wakefulness at night was the worst they 
could conceive of now.
     During their rest, Chiyou and the swordsman asked Lady Yui to 
talk about her past, and why she was looking for her friends.  She 
did so, telling a story they both believed, but could scarcely 
fathom all the same.  For, as far-seeing as Chiyou was, and as 
stout of mind as the swordsman was, neither had seen one with a 
demon's sign on his forehead.
     As Lady Yui napped, leaning on the swordsman as she dozed, 
the wizard Chiyou closed his eyes, and began to meditate.  And as 
he meditated, he saw a vision.  And, as the young girl slept 
beside her chosen guardian, Chiyou intoned this vision to the 
swordsman:
     "I saw a battalion of ninja and cavalry, marching from the 
west towards us.  I saw their leader, a tall man with blond locks 
and blue eyes.  I saw his smile, my friend, and he meant harm.  He 
means to intercept us.  He means to have Lady Yui."
     He whispered this into the swordsman's ear, which flushed red 
with the rest of his face in terrible anger.  "She will reach the 
capitol safely," he vowed.  "I will swear my life upon that deed."
     "I know you do," Lady Yui sighed, still half-asleep.  "I know 
you will."
     The swordsman sighed, his anger of the moment passing, and he 
wrapped his arm around the small girl.  She curled within his 
grasp, and slowly fell back to sleep.  Chiyou smiled, and knew the 
swordsman had meant his vow, for it had become obvious, even to 
the young Lady Yui, that he loved her.
     As the sun continued to trace its slow path across the sky's 
dome, Chiyou and the swordsman fell silent.  The swordsman wanted 
to ask his friend more about the coming battalion, but could not, 
for he knew that anything Chiyou knew, he would tell.  Soon, at 
the base of a small foothill, they chose to rest themselves.  
Chiyou allowed himself a short nap, and the swordsman, still 
holding Lady Yui, fell into a long-avoided sleep.  
     During this sleep, he dreamed...

In his dream, the swordsman saw his hands, and his body, but did 
not feel as if we were moving.  He saw his legs move, on their own 
accord, through the streets of the capitol.  He was running, 
chasing someone.  He felt desire and passion, and a sudden flash 
of brilliant red.  He heard a scream, and knew he was close to a 
struggle, one he cold not see, for his vision was blurring.  He 
heard the names of Yui's friends, and the laugh of the shade.  He 
saw a man with blond hair, and eyes that pierced like twin spears 
of ice.

     ...The swordsman awoke, his body shaking in the fading light.
 
Chiyou looked at him, and whispered a concerned request: "Please, 
tell me what you dreamt, for you were sleeping too restlessly to 
have experienced a peaceful vision."
     The swordsman related to Chiyou what he knew, and the wizard 
nodded slowly, digesting the account.  After some moments, he 
admitted to the swordsman he knew not what it meant, but that he 
considered it information that would step into enlightenment soon.
 
The swordsman agreed, and gathered up their supplies, girding 
himself for a long night ride to the capitol.
     The night brought movement, and as the Lady Yui rode wrapped 
in blankets on the swordsman's horse, the swordsman felt the pangs 
of guilt stab him.  The dream's voices, so urgent and ridden with 
despair, clung to his mind like a child, lost alone in the forest, 
screaming for help from any who would offer it.  He could do 
nothing but envision Yui as the dream child; this stirred within 
him his desire to protect her, and that in turn stirred his 
desire, and soon, the guilt of his name, and the shadow of his 
namesake, which he felt upon his back, suffocating his identity.  
The swordsman felt doubtful of his own existence, and wondered if 
he would inhabit any memory of the Lady Yui once they reached the 
capitol.  Indeed, he wondered if then he would simply cease to be, 
and the world would close in around him, filling the space he once 
occupied with air and earth.  He thought thusly for a number of 
hours, unable to remove the thought from his consciousness.
     His melancholy considerations halted at the rustling of 
shrubs, and the disturbance of the air.  Without thinking, he 
spurred his horse, and yelled to his compatriot: "Now!"  Chiyou, 
at the ready as he had promised, let fly his incantation, lighting 
the environment for a far as his eye could see.  As he looked 
back, the swordsman felt his heart fall, but spurred his horse.  
For behind him lay the battalion, moving like the wind and gaining 
quickly.  Before them, perhaps two thousand yards hence, lay the 
city's walls, previously hidden by foothills and darkness.  He 
felt the Lady Yui grab onto him tightly and hide her face in his 
chest.  
     He heard the laughter of a thousand shades, haunting him as 
Chiyou's arm, once raised skyward to light their path, fell to his 
side.  The swordsman heard the swish of air moving, and saw 
Chiyou's body fall, in pieces, from his horse.  He was now alone 
to save Lady Yui, and face the horde approaching them.
     The walls drew so close now that even in the darkness they 
were visible, monolithic on the horizon. The swordsman held no 
belief that the city walls would grant them sudden and total 
reprieve, but perhaps the young Lady Yui could escape within their 
walls.  He felt his horse faltering, but knew he could not relent 
to save the life of the beast; tonight, two more would die, but 
his self-made vow would never let Yui be one of the two.
     As he reached the walls, a sudden silence fell upon the land; 
his horse, ragged and out of breath stumbled as he led Lady Yui to 
the guardsmen, and pushed her to their arms.  He turned, and saw 
only shadows, moving to overtake all they could.  The swordsman 
stepped apprehensively forward, sword drawn, stance defensive.  
One by one, then in groups ever growing in number, the shades 
attacked, ignoring Lady Yui's cries and the growing number of 
night watchmen witnessing the attack.
     The swordsman, in his last moments, felt the glow of 
realization.  In his heart, he felt his name forming.  As he moved 
to speak his name, he heard Lady Yui's voice, soft, soothing, 
piercing the noise of rushing air and his own pounding heart:

     'I love you.'

                         *    *    *    *

The guards watching the attack would later relate the story to the 
head of the guard, who doubled the night watch for three days 
hence.  They allowed the Lady Yui passage into their city, as she 
was weak and needed rest from her long and perilous journey.  
Strangely enough, as they spoke of the incident, details began to 
slip from the telling, until the story was simply that of a young 
girl who wandered into the city.
     And equally strange was the Lady Yui's memory; as the 
tellings removed the existence of the swordsman, and indeed the 
shadows, so removed were they from her own consciousness, until 
she was simply a young girl who had wandered into a city from the 
desert outside.  She remembered her true origins, that of a 
greater city, and a library and a book that told her story as she 
experienced it.
     She thought later on, in a moment of panic, that she saw 
someone watching from a distance.  She thought, as she struggled 
against a brutal attack, that all her friends had left her, and 
that she was truly alone in the world she had come to by mistake.  
And as she felt her innocence drift from her, ripped away as her 
clothing was, she for a brief moment remembered her swordsman, and 
saw his eyes residing in a new face.

                         *    *    *    *

The swordsman saw himself move, and speak, and breathe, but he 
could do nothing.  For he was a conscience occupying another body 
now, a character removed from existence, only to be transferred, 
soulless but alive, into the body another man.  A man with a name, 
and piercing blue eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This was a story I started back during Christmas of 1999, and 
revisited to finish today.  It serves two purposes for me as a 
writer: one, to tell a story using the language of a fairy tale; 
and two, to experiment with the concpet of rough drafts.  What 
happens to the character or chapter you decide to "rub out" and 
change around before continuing the story?

This story doesn't presume to know the inner workings of Yu 
Watase's mind.  However, the fantasy of "rescuing" Yui is one I'm 
sure more than one Fushigi Yuugi fan has considered.  Naturally, 
any attempt has to be doomed to failure, and indeed must be 
forgotten by all characters involved, if it is to stay in 
continuity.  The "rough draft" concept grew out of that 
requirement.

I did lift from Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are 
Dead.  Such situational imiation is intended as flattery.

I hope you enjoyed the story for what it was: an experiment.  
Please write back with any C&C you have to this list, or to 
matthew@kingdomofmel.com
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