SPOILER WARNING: Contains spoilers for events in or before
episode 13. Please watch through episode 13 before reading.
* * * *
This is the story of a boy who made his dream come true after he
came to possess the love of a young girl. It is a fairy tale of
sorts; it ends as many such tales must, and begins as all should:
...Once upon a time.
------------------------------------------------------------------
* * * *
F U S H I G I Y U U G I
Softly Faded Lullaby
* *
The anime (c) 1995 Yu Watase/Shogakukan/TV Tokyo/Studio Pierrot
Licensed by FUJI Creative Corporation.
Released in North America by Pioneer Entertainment
Fushigi Yuugi: Softly Faded Lullaby
(c) 1999, 2001 Matthew Johnston
All Rights Reserved.
* * * *
------------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time, on a beaten path, somewhere between a village
and another, larger village, three cloaked riders sat atop their
horses, traveling slowly across the frozen desert. Their
clothing, which to them seemed normal, probably was. However,
they simply could not be sure. the cold bit at them, even through
their heavy robes, and so they had, over the course of days,
decided such clothing was a good and logical thing. There were,
however, other issues.
"Heads," the short one announced, a coin perched on the back
of his hand, covered by a thick leather glove. He moved the coin
back to his other hand, and prepared to flip it again.
"How many is that?" The largest of the three riders, riding
at the back, had lost count early on in the trip.
"Too many," the old one replied. His body was thin, but not
yet frail. His staff, wrapped to hide its nature, clattered
against another hard possession beneath the canvas as they rode.
Their horses were slow, weary from the cold winter ride, yet they
continued, moving steadily towards the capitol.
"We'll make it in time, yes?" the large swordsman asked.
"We will," the wizard replied again.
The thief flipped his coin again, and caught it in the air
with the same hand. Closing his eyes, he pressed the coin flat on
the back of his other hand. "Any bets?" he asked again.
Neither answered.
The thief lifted his hand slowly. "Heads," he announced,
with the same enthusiasm, if tainted by a little more curiosity
than before.
And so it went for a number of miles, and a number of hours,
until they made camp. They moved silently, slowly, without any
pressing need, save a nagging feeling in the bones of the large
one. They ate, and contemplated silently. The wizard meditated
again, hoping to glean something more from the vision he had one
morning, six days and a journey ago.
"We were called," he mused. "This we know for sure."
The swordsman chewed his bread thoughtfully. "Do we know our
names?"
The wizard shook his head. "I cannot remember." He pointed
his staff at the dwindling fire, and it regained some of its
former intensity. There was a small waft of sulfur as the spell
took hold. "But we were called."
The thief scowled, at last bored with the coin. "There must
be something else, something more in your head."
"Blue," the wizard admitted finally. "I see blue."
"Well," the swordsman contemplated, "we must be experienced
at our positions. I've seen you work sorcery, and I've been able
to use my sword with ease." He pointed to the thief. "Of course,
you stole my coin, but I'm not sure why I should care." He smiled
finally, his winter-red cheeks surrounding a large, white set of
teeth.
"This is true." The wizard nodded. "And, our abilities must
be required, else we would not have been called."
"This is ridiculous!" The thief stood, and drew his dagger,
playing with it, maneuvering it acrobatically in his hands.
"We've been talking this in a circle, making a trench in the
ground with it. We don't have a clue why we're here, only that
we're here."
"You're right..." The wizard paused, hoping a name would
come to his lips. None did. "A sign. We need a signal that our
progress towards the capitol is the correct maneuver."
All three waited for a moment, still and silent.
"Didn't work," the thief grinned. "Maybe tomorrow."
The next morning, the morning of the seventh day, came without
incident. the horses, still cold, still tired, carried their
possessions as the three walked them at a casual pace towards the
capitol.
The trip was probably unusual -- though none could be
completely sure, as they had no memory of any trip before this one
-- in that they had met no other travelers, even though the road
was well-worn, and obviously some sort of trade route. The
landscape itself was barren, the ground cold, frozen beneath them.
Everything felt still. The guarantee of the one-headed coin
turning up heads each time seemed to confirm the wizard's growing
suspicions that perhaps they were without time, that they were yet
to exist.
The wizard tried to explain as much to the swordsman, who
shook his head, and said that they existed, but could not give a
reason that satisfied the wizard.
If they had indeed not existed, or if they had existed
outside of experience, what they saw at that moment brought them
out of that state. The horses, spooked, backed away. The three
horsemen did as well make a small retreat. This is what they saw:
A blue flash, blinding, silent, and then suddenly roaring,
deafening for an instant and suddenly gone with the light. Unlike
the wizard's spell, the air did not crackle, nor was there the
aroma of sulfur. And, where the flash had touched to ground, a
scant few paces ahead of them, there lay a small girl. She didn't
stir, nor did she seem dead. She simply did nothing.
Nobody approached her. All three were silent until the thief
spoke:
"My name is Tensyo." He stepped forward, handing the reins
of his horse to the wizard.
"This is it, isn't it?" the swordsman asked the wizard.
"This is why we were called, yes?"
The wizard nodded. "Yes. She is why we were called."
The young girl stirred finally, and the thief, Tensyo,
kneeled beside her, helping her to her feel.
"Mi... Miyaka?" she asked weakly.
"Don't worry," Tensyo murmured. "You'll be okay."
She nodded slowly, accepting his words. "Thank you."
She seemed dazed, and her strange clothing only served to
heighten the group's caution around her. They knew why they had
been called. They were to guard her, or escort her. In each mind,
each man was not quite sure which it was, or if maybe it was
something completely different. Regardless, though, their purpose
had been established, and, armed with their abilities and their
meager past together, they would do their best to do that which
they had been called to do.
"What is your name, child?" the wizard asked softly as she
and Tensyo approached.
"Y-Yui," she began. "Yui Hongo." She looked at the old
man's beard, his darker robes, and seemed slightly puzzled.
"What's your name?" she inquired.
Had the moment been any previous, and the question been the
same, the wizard would have been unable to answer. However, as
she asked, the words came to him, and he knew them to be his name.
"My name is Chiyou. I am a wizard." He bowed slightly, feeling
suddenly that it was the right thing to do.
Impulses of such things, the rightness of an action, seemed
to this point foreign. However, he realized that such impulses
were beginning to flow through him. That, in and of itself, felt
right, and so he decided mentally to follow them.
The girl, Yui, bowed her head in response, but her next
question was on the heels of the last. "Where am I?"
The swordsman, who had to this point been quite silent in the
presence of the young girl, spoke slowly, definitely, with the
same confidence of the one now called Chiyou. That is to say, he
delivered the words from his mouth, and learned what he himself
was teaching.
"You are in Kutou, a league or so away from the capitol." He
smiled ruefully, for he did not know his name. He hoped she asked
him soon, so he may learn it.
"I see," Yui murmured. "And what is your name?"
The swordsman opened his mouth, but paused. Finally, with
great effort, he spoke: "I don't know."
All three looked at him, and he felt suddenly powerless.
"Are you sure?" asked Tensyo.
"Try again," Chiyou coaxed.
The swordsman did try, but he could not feel the words inside
him. "I'm afraid," he began, "that I cannot remember my name."
* * * *
After the arrival of Yui Hongo into lives of the three riders,
time seemed to move faster than before. The air was no longer
still, though still chill; each rider gave up a cloak to Yui,
until she was practically buried in their expanse. And, though it
may have been out of sympathy, for that is what he thought at the
time, she rode with the nameless swordsman, which Yui had decided
to name "Tamahome". She said it was the name of her true love.
This at once pleased and hurt the swordsman, for he could
feel somewhere beneath his skin a small stirring. Something
growing, slowly heating beyond the fraternal warmth of friendship.
That she had a true love already bit into this feeling, and filled
his head with guilt.
Though he was a large man, and known for his strength of
body, he was not without those faculties that made the wizard and
thief great in their professions. He was ready to admit that he
did not have the ability of mental acrobatics that the other two
had in varying degrees. However, he was not a giant without a
brain.
And so they rode, Yui with "Tamahome", sitting in front of
him, his great arms on either side, holding his horse's reins.
The other two rode behind them, and contemplated their newly found
identities. Though he did not grudge them their names, the
swordsman did not think along those lines. His moved towards
methods of best protecting the girl Yui.
As night fell, the three made camp, and the swordsman made
sure Yui was warm, fed, and protected. Though he had no name, he
knew what he was to do, and it was these things that to him felt
most right.
"I will keep watch," the swordsman stated plainly, "and when
we reach the capitol in three days time, you will find your
friend."
And this is what he thought through the night as he watched
her sleep, sitting a few meters away, strong in his constitution
to stay so vigilant through the night. He was awake long after
the camp's fire had become a barely visible glow, and then went
out completely.
He moved closer then to view her better. That was when he
noticed a figure moving ahead of the camp.
"Who goes there?" he asked, unsheathing his sword.
There was no reply. The swordsman kicked Chiyou. "I need
light," he whispered gruffly.
The old wizard awoke and complied. In moments, the fire was
burning again. There was no figure to be seen, and Yui was still
sleeping, sound and secure in the blankets and cloaks. The
swordsman sheathed his blade, and returned to his watch, closer
now, prepared for the figure he was sure he had seen moving just
beyond the shadows of the tundra.
The next morning brought with it the distant light of the sun, and
a check of the area surrounding the camp, just to be sure. The
swordsman could not find anything, nor could the thief, Tensyo
(the swordsman found it increasingly easy to associate the name
with the person, though he never said the man's name aloud).
However, Chiyou the wizard, stopping in the area where the
swordsman said that the intruding shadow had been, roughly of
course, closed his eyes, and found a vision waiting. Upon seeing
it, he immediately regretted it, and refused to speak of the
matter in front of the young lady Yui. In private conference,
Chiyou confided in the swordsman and thief his vision, which,
while vague, did hint at events in the future which could be
construed either as helpful, or hurtful.
And thus the beginning of the eighth day of the swordsman's
life came and went, fading into the long, traveling middle, during
which the young Lady Yui (as he had come to call her, for she
seemed pleased by the title) rode with the swordsman, her
Tamahome, pressing her small form close to keep warm. And though
the swordsman's longing for her grew with each of her sleeping
sighs and waking giggles, he did not break form, nor did he let
his visage of control and honor crack.
After the news of the vision, the three riders spoke very
little to each other, focusing their attention on Lady Yui. If
she spoke, they'd respond attentively, for they had come to accept
their positions as her attendants, something which had come as
naturally as any of their other traits. She did not ask for much,
nor did she take much when things like water or food were offered.
For, as much as they had become her attendants, she still felt a
stranger in the land, and had become preoccupied with her quest of
finding her friends Miyaka and Tamahome.
The evening came, and all three riders felt the chill of winter in
their bones, the biting winds penetrating their cloaks as if they
were not even being worn. They ate silently, and watched each
other intently, knowing that, come the morn, one of them would be
dead, and they would have to continue on.
Nobody spoke until Tensyo, who had been the most visibly
frustrated of the three finally announced: "We should ride through
the night."
Already half-asleep in front of the fire, the Lady Yui gently
protested. "I'm so tired," she explained, "and no matter how
tired I am, you must be more so. We couldn't possibly ride
tonight."
The swordsman nodded before speaking. "When danger comes, we
shall ride. However, I will not tire our horses and ourselves to
death..." he paused on the word, but continued, "...simply to
shorten our quest." Chiyou agreed with the swordsman, and Lady
Yui seemed pleased by the idea, and thus slept, secure in her
swordsman's vigilant gaze.
The shadowy figure returned as the fire died. All three
riders were awake, and all three at the ready. The figure
silhouetted before them, a few meters away, spoke.
"My friends, I mean you no harm. I am Tamahome."
The swordsman left his hand on the hilt of his sheathed
sword, but beckoned the figure come closer. Chiyou, with his
staff, re-lit the fire. Tensyo carved an apple, a midnight snack,
with his dirk. Lady Yui remained asleep, for they did all this as
quietly as possible.
"We welcome you," the swordsman spoke. "Please sit and join
us."
Tamahome did so, and they talked for a number of minutes,
until Lady Yui rolled over, still asleep, revealing her face
clearly to all. Tamahome saw the girl's sleeping face, and
smiled.
"Who is this young girl?" he asked. "She is certainly unlike
any I've seen before."
The swordsman drew his sword and jumped to his feet; The
shadow's disguise had been found out. Chiyou stood behind him,
and Tensyo to his left, both guarding Lady Yui. "You are not who
you say you are," the swordsman intoned darkly. "Reveal
yourself."
The figure self-named Tamahome melted, revealing a shadow of
liquid black that formed itself in the shape of a man, without
eyes or a mouth, but with an imposing musculature. The shade
leapt forward, and slashed at the swordsman, who cut at it with
his sword. The creature dissipated, only to reform behind him.
He slashed at Tensyo, and hit home, opening the thief's chest. He
died with a scream that rang out in Lady Yui's ear, awakening her
to the battle.
The swordsman, enraged by the death of his friend, attacked
the shade again, and again it dissipated. Chiyou, however, was
ready, already casting a lengthy incantation. As the shadowy
death appeared again, it was met with a flash of light that
removed all shadow from the camp for a short time, long enough for
the shade to be dispatched, screaming much like the slain Tensyo
did.
Lady Yui, in shock from the battle, kneeled beside the fallen
Tensyo, and wept softly, for she had never before seen someone
die. Chiyou and the swordsman gathered their possessions, and
prepared the horses to ride. The wizard said a few silent words
for his friend, and, with the swordsman's agreement, cremated
Tensyo, lest he be scavenged.
Chiyou and the swordsman rode on their horses; for a time
Lady Yui rode on Tensyo's horse. However, she soon became tired,
and so they led Tensyo's horse, and Lady Yui once again rode with
the swordsman. He did not speak, his great arms around her as he
held her with one, and reined his horse with the other. He could
feel her breathing, warm on his neck as she slept. The longing
inside him grew slowly. He wished to know his true name, or at
least to know why he did not come to know his own identity as
Tensyo and Chiyou had. He wondered if it should have been him,
the one without a true identity, who was to die at the hands of
his shadowy namesake.
Just then, as his mind wandered melancholy, he heard Lady Yui
murmur the name she had given him. He looked down, and found she
was no longer asleep. And, as she smiled at him, weak with
fatigue and sorrow, yet still strong beneath it, he felt his
brooding mood slowly fade into the cold, black night.
* * * *
The weary, saddened group stopped as the sun passed its apex, and
had a long rest. They had decided to travel the majority of their
miles between their location and the capitol at night, moving as
the shadows played about, rather than standing and letting them
take them. Chiyou had agreed to keep his spell of light-flash at
the ready, though he noted that he had felt drained after the
experience of it before. Thus, they knew that staying still, and
possibly falling out of wakefulness at night was the worst they
could conceive of now.
During their rest, Chiyou and the swordsman asked Lady Yui to
talk about her past, and why she was looking for her friends. She
did so, telling a story they both believed, but could scarcely
fathom all the same. For, as far-seeing as Chiyou was, and as
stout of mind as the swordsman was, neither had seen one with a
demon's sign on his forehead.
As Lady Yui napped, leaning on the swordsman as she dozed,
the wizard Chiyou closed his eyes, and began to meditate. And as
he meditated, he saw a vision. And, as the young girl slept
beside her chosen guardian, Chiyou intoned this vision to the
swordsman:
"I saw a battalion of ninja and cavalry, marching from the
west towards us. I saw their leader, a tall man with blond locks
and blue eyes. I saw his smile, my friend, and he meant harm. He
means to intercept us. He means to have Lady Yui."
He whispered this into the swordsman's ear, which flushed red
with the rest of his face in terrible anger. "She will reach the
capitol safely," he vowed. "I will swear my life upon that deed."
"I know you do," Lady Yui sighed, still half-asleep. "I know
you will."
The swordsman sighed, his anger of the moment passing, and he
wrapped his arm around the small girl. She curled within his
grasp, and slowly fell back to sleep. Chiyou smiled, and knew the
swordsman had meant his vow, for it had become obvious, even to
the young Lady Yui, that he loved her.
As the sun continued to trace its slow path across the sky's
dome, Chiyou and the swordsman fell silent. The swordsman wanted
to ask his friend more about the coming battalion, but could not,
for he knew that anything Chiyou knew, he would tell. Soon, at
the base of a small foothill, they chose to rest themselves.
Chiyou allowed himself a short nap, and the swordsman, still
holding Lady Yui, fell into a long-avoided sleep.
During this sleep, he dreamed...
In his dream, the swordsman saw his hands, and his body, but did
not feel as if we were moving. He saw his legs move, on their own
accord, through the streets of the capitol. He was running,
chasing someone. He felt desire and passion, and a sudden flash
of brilliant red. He heard a scream, and knew he was close to a
struggle, one he cold not see, for his vision was blurring. He
heard the names of Yui's friends, and the laugh of the shade. He
saw a man with blond hair, and eyes that pierced like twin spears
of ice.
...The swordsman awoke, his body shaking in the fading light.
Chiyou looked at him, and whispered a concerned request: "Please,
tell me what you dreamt, for you were sleeping too restlessly to
have experienced a peaceful vision."
The swordsman related to Chiyou what he knew, and the wizard
nodded slowly, digesting the account. After some moments, he
admitted to the swordsman he knew not what it meant, but that he
considered it information that would step into enlightenment soon.
The swordsman agreed, and gathered up their supplies, girding
himself for a long night ride to the capitol.
The night brought movement, and as the Lady Yui rode wrapped
in blankets on the swordsman's horse, the swordsman felt the pangs
of guilt stab him. The dream's voices, so urgent and ridden with
despair, clung to his mind like a child, lost alone in the forest,
screaming for help from any who would offer it. He could do
nothing but envision Yui as the dream child; this stirred within
him his desire to protect her, and that in turn stirred his
desire, and soon, the guilt of his name, and the shadow of his
namesake, which he felt upon his back, suffocating his identity.
The swordsman felt doubtful of his own existence, and wondered if
he would inhabit any memory of the Lady Yui once they reached the
capitol. Indeed, he wondered if then he would simply cease to be,
and the world would close in around him, filling the space he once
occupied with air and earth. He thought thusly for a number of
hours, unable to remove the thought from his consciousness.
His melancholy considerations halted at the rustling of
shrubs, and the disturbance of the air. Without thinking, he
spurred his horse, and yelled to his compatriot: "Now!" Chiyou,
at the ready as he had promised, let fly his incantation, lighting
the environment for a far as his eye could see. As he looked
back, the swordsman felt his heart fall, but spurred his horse.
For behind him lay the battalion, moving like the wind and gaining
quickly. Before them, perhaps two thousand yards hence, lay the
city's walls, previously hidden by foothills and darkness. He
felt the Lady Yui grab onto him tightly and hide her face in his
chest.
He heard the laughter of a thousand shades, haunting him as
Chiyou's arm, once raised skyward to light their path, fell to his
side. The swordsman heard the swish of air moving, and saw
Chiyou's body fall, in pieces, from his horse. He was now alone
to save Lady Yui, and face the horde approaching them.
The walls drew so close now that even in the darkness they
were visible, monolithic on the horizon. The swordsman held no
belief that the city walls would grant them sudden and total
reprieve, but perhaps the young Lady Yui could escape within their
walls. He felt his horse faltering, but knew he could not relent
to save the life of the beast; tonight, two more would die, but
his self-made vow would never let Yui be one of the two.
As he reached the walls, a sudden silence fell upon the land;
his horse, ragged and out of breath stumbled as he led Lady Yui to
the guardsmen, and pushed her to their arms. He turned, and saw
only shadows, moving to overtake all they could. The swordsman
stepped apprehensively forward, sword drawn, stance defensive.
One by one, then in groups ever growing in number, the shades
attacked, ignoring Lady Yui's cries and the growing number of
night watchmen witnessing the attack.
The swordsman, in his last moments, felt the glow of
realization. In his heart, he felt his name forming. As he moved
to speak his name, he heard Lady Yui's voice, soft, soothing,
piercing the noise of rushing air and his own pounding heart:
'I love you.'
* * * *
The guards watching the attack would later relate the story to the
head of the guard, who doubled the night watch for three days
hence. They allowed the Lady Yui passage into their city, as she
was weak and needed rest from her long and perilous journey.
Strangely enough, as they spoke of the incident, details began to
slip from the telling, until the story was simply that of a young
girl who wandered into the city.
And equally strange was the Lady Yui's memory; as the
tellings removed the existence of the swordsman, and indeed the
shadows, so removed were they from her own consciousness, until
she was simply a young girl who had wandered into a city from the
desert outside. She remembered her true origins, that of a
greater city, and a library and a book that told her story as she
experienced it.
She thought later on, in a moment of panic, that she saw
someone watching from a distance. She thought, as she struggled
against a brutal attack, that all her friends had left her, and
that she was truly alone in the world she had come to by mistake.
And as she felt her innocence drift from her, ripped away as her
clothing was, she for a brief moment remembered her swordsman, and
saw his eyes residing in a new face.
* * * *
The swordsman saw himself move, and speak, and breathe, but he
could do nothing. For he was a conscience occupying another body
now, a character removed from existence, only to be transferred,
soulless but alive, into the body another man. A man with a name,
and piercing blue eyes.
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AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This was a story I started back during Christmas of 1999, and
revisited to finish today. It serves two purposes for me as a
writer: one, to tell a story using the language of a fairy tale;
and two, to experiment with the concpet of rough drafts. What
happens to the character or chapter you decide to "rub out" and
change around before continuing the story?
This story doesn't presume to know the inner workings of Yu
Watase's mind. However, the fantasy of "rescuing" Yui is one I'm
sure more than one Fushigi Yuugi fan has considered. Naturally,
any attempt has to be doomed to failure, and indeed must be
forgotten by all characters involved, if it is to stay in
continuity. The "rough draft" concept grew out of that
requirement.
I did lift from Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are
Dead. Such situational imiation is intended as flattery.
I hope you enjoyed the story for what it was: an experiment.
Please write back with any C&C you have to this list, or to
matthew@kingdomofmel.com
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