Ranma's double bed was a little more crowded
than usual.  Sprawled across it were two figures
competing for space.  One was a tiny, blonde woman
dressed in Chinese clothes with a short pig tail that
was coming undone.  The other was a fairly tall woman
with tangled and matted silver hair wearing an outfit
in multiple loud colors.  The clothes in both cases
were torn, sweat stained and very wrinkled.  The woman
with the silver hair was snoring loudly, while the
other woman seemed to have kicked off her blanket and
was starting to sprawl across the bed.  It was only a
matter of time before one or the other would wake up.
       This is what is known as a dangerous situation.
       Ryo-Ohki was snuggled comfortably between them.
       She was being incredibly optimistic.
       Ryoko reached up to scratch her head and then
let the arm fall back down.  She squinted in confusion
upon hitting something soft other than a pillow.  Of
course, having endured Happosai, Ranma's response was
slightly louder and more violent.
       "Happosai!" Ranma shouted, sitting bolt upright
and looking around for the perverted gnome.  "When did
you get ba--!" She was cut off by a slap to the face.
       "What are you doing in bed with me!?" Ryoko
demanded.
       "ME?!" Ranma shouted.  Then she pointed
angrily.  "YOU'RE the one grabbing me!"
       "Feh," Ryoko said, crossing her arms.  "If I
did something on purpose it wouldn't be such a clumsy
grab like that one."
       "So you have experience with feeling up other
girls then?" Ranma asked angrily.
       "Yes..No! Arg!" Ryoko growled.  "Only as a
joke!  Besides anybody who ends up with you, better be
a little flexible."
       "Oh thanks," Ranma said.  They glared at each
other for a moment.
       "Why did you dump me in this bed with you?"
They both demanded at once.
       "You can be pretty sure that I would be male
right now if I had been up and around," Ranma snapped.
 "Or at least not blonde."
       "Like I'd dump in this bed and go to sleep
there," Ryoko snapped back.  Ranma stared back at her
a few moments.
       "Yeah," Ranma admitted finally.  "You'd have to
have won our match to do that."
       "What are you talking about?" Ryoko asked.  "I
did win."
       "No you didn't," Ranma said.  "I did."
       "You were just about to fall over," Ryoko
reminded her.
       "And you weren't?" Ranma asked.  "The last
thing I remember is taking you down."
       "Same here, punk," Ryoko said.  They growled
low at each other.
       "Iiiaaaooo," Ryo-ohki wailed.  Ryoko hurriedly
dug the dazed looking cabbit out from under the
blankets.
       "What happened to you?" Ryoko asked.
       "I think we did," Ranma said, embarassed.

*******

       "Listen, I'm a damn sweaty, coconut smelling
mess," Ryoko said.  "I get the bath first."
       "I've got the same trouble, AND I'm the wrong
gender," Ranma reminded her, whispering.   "And stay
quiet or my Mom will wake up and you know what she'll
suggest."  Ryoko flinched.
       "I want the bath, Ranma," Ryoko growled.
       "So do I," Ranma said.  They stared each other
down for a moment, then Ranma smiled.  "Flip for it?" 
Ryoko blinked and then smiled.
       "Sure," she said.
       "Call it," Ranma said, producing a coin.
       "Tails," Ryoko said smirking.  Ranma was about
to flip, but paused.
       "What is it with the tail anyway?" Ranma asked.
 "Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not."
       "Minor shape-changing trick," Ryoko said. 
Suddenly Ryoko split into two people.
       "That question coming from someone who changes
gender," the first Ryoko said.  She was a scholarly
looking woman with her hair pulled back and a pair of
spectacles.
       "Seems rather silly to ask," the second Ryoko
said, looking like a wide-eyed college student.  They
both fixed Ranma with a scathing glare.
       "What the--?"
       "Flip the damn coin," the Ryokos said in unison
before merging into one body.  Ranma shrugged and
smirked before flipping the coin.  She watched the
coin confidently, until it clattered to the ground and
landed, tails up.  Ryoko vanished into the furo,
smirking.  Her voice virtually sung out from behind
the door.  "I won." 
       "Miao, miao" Ryo-Ohki said in a frustrated
manner, shaking her head.  Ranma picked up the still
warm coin.  Ranma flinched a little in surprise at the
sound, but she really was getting better at that.
       "Yeah, I figured it out," he said.  "But then
again..." He flipped the coin again, and then produced
five more coins, and sent them into the air before the
first had landed.  All six coins landed on top of each
other in a tidy column, heads up.  "I was cheating
too."
       Ranma shrugged and walked into the kitchen.  If
she had to wait to clean up, not really all that high
on her list anyway, she could at least heat some water
to change back to normal.  Even if she was merely
indifferent to her female form now, she still vastly
preferred to be male.  Besides, she absolutely hated
being blonde.
       Ranma might say pink hair was worse, but that's
because she felt like she was expected to.  Pink hair
only got her accused of being an Utena otaku, which
was okay because that was a show with some fighting
and such.  Not that Ranma ever watched that it, no
way.  
       It just seemed that whenever her hair was
blonde, people tended to treat her as if her her
intelligence had dropped several degrees.  The
absolute nail in the coffin on that particular color
was when someone had made the mistake of calling her
"Azusa" as a joke.
       Ranma walked calmly, if a little irritably, to
the counter and started fixxing a pot of water.  While
waiting for it to heat up she glanced at the calender.
 Ranma blinked, and leaned away from the counter to
get a closer look at it.  She blinked again, then
leaned back against the counter.
       "I guess that's it then," Ranma said.  She
turned back to the kettle and started drumming her
fingers irritably.

*******

       Ryoko felt somewhat cramped in the
standard-sized tub.  It was a far cry from the
palatial facilities Washu had provided.  Then again,
she hadn't had access to that place since before
Jurai, and she'd relied on worse bath facilities
before.
       "That isn't going away," Ryoko muttered,
fingering the scar from Kagato's attack.  She had few
other scars, her body didn't scar much at all.  She
closed her eyes and remembered freezing when she saw
Yosho had fallen.  She threw one weak blast and then
let Kagato pick her off.
       "Ryo-Ohki," Ryoko called out.  The cabbit
popped into existence on the sink across from her. 
"Have you been scanning the news?"
       "Ma-," the cabbit said shaking her head. 
"Miao?"
       "Not right now," Ryoko said, leaning back.  She
glanced out the window.  "When the sun comes up. 
That'll be it."
       "Miao?"
       "You know what I mean, brat," Ryoko said.

*******

       Ryoko walked out of the bathroom to find Ranma
not there.  She blinked in surprise and looked around
for the martial artist.  She glanced down at Ryo-Ohki,
tail swishing in confusion.
       "After all that fuss, he just leaves?" Ryoko
asked.  The cabbit seemed to shrug.  "You're a lot of
help."  She popped into the living room, but didn't
see him there.  At least not inside.  She happened to
catch a glimpse of movement outside, however, and
glided a few feet before vanishing and reappearing
outside.
       Outside Ranma-kun was running katas, and Ryoko
retreated to the roof and settled down to watch for a
moment.  Ranma's head inclined in her direction, but
only for the briefest of moments.  Other than that
almost imperceptible motion, Ranma remained focused as
his Art.  
       It was a quite different art from the Jurai
sword arts practiced by Tenchi and Yosho.  Ryoko could
tell that right off, but it was still Art.  Without an
opponent to face, the moves looked more like a dance
than anything else.  Tenchi danced too.
       "Bath's open," Ryoko said.  Ranma looked at her
directly, in the middle of a flip, while upside down. 
Then righted himself and landed lightly.  Ryoko
blinked and stared at Ranma's feet.  He was standing
on top of the grass, and the blades were hardly
bending.  ~Just how much did he pick up from me?~
       "I noticed," Ranma said.  He glanced towards
the rising sun and then stepped onto the dirt path.
       "If you're going to make a stink about
something," Ryoko said, irritably.  "The least you
could do is not act like its no big deal."
       "Sorry 'bout that," Ranma said, walking towards
the house.  "It's lookin' like its gonna be a long day
already."  He stopped and looked up at her.  Ryoko
watched him expectantly, and Ranma returned the look.
       "RANMA!!" the old man shouted, rushing outside
to meet Ranma.  "How dare you let that woman fight you
to a draw."
       "What draw?" Ranma asked.  "I won."  He ignored
the rock that bounced off his head.  Genma had already
turned away and fallen into lecturing mode, and thus
missed the rock.
       "The report from Ryouga was that he and his
fiancee had found you sprawled over each other,
mumbling about finishing the fight," Genma said.
       ~So it was them,~ Ranma thought.  ~Thought so,
Mom would have changed me back to normal.  Then I
probably would have gotten more than slapped.~
       "They had to carry you back home," Genma said. 
"So again, how dare you let such a sickly weakling
beat you."
       "Excuse me," Ryoko snapped, sticking her head
through the roof to glare at Genma.  "Who are you
calling sickly and weak, old man?"
       "ACK!" Genma flinched back against the wall. 
"What is that?!"
       "I gotta take a bath, Pops," Ranma said,
smirking.  "Maybe you'd like to try her for yourself?"
       "It would hardly be worth the fight," Genma
stuttered.  Ryoko growled, and her disembodied head
vanished from the ceiling, just before she reappeared
completely in front of Genma.  She glared for a long
moment while Ranma walked inside, then leaned back and
smirked.
       "How about I hold back a little?" Ryoko asked,
smirking.  "Would that make it fair?"
       "Fair!?" Genma shouted angrily.
       "Not going to risk it?" Ryoko went on, floating
back into the small yard.  "I don't blame you.  After
all, if your afraid of your wife and her sword you'd
be a damn fool to try me."
       ~Well, she's not human,~ Genma reminded
himself.  He rushed out and leaped into a quick,
flying kick at her.  Ranma paused on the threshhold to
watch.  His eyes widened slightly as Ryoko caught the
kick and threw his father.  She used almost none of
her own motion to turn the attack into a throw. 
Almost no wasted motion or energy at all.
       ~That's not basic Jujutsu,~ Ranma thought. 
~She picked up some of my Saotome-Ryu.~
       Ranma shook his head clear and continued toward
the bathroom.  He could hear his mother humming
pleasantly in the kitchen.  He really did need that
bath, before his mother started picking at him for
smelling up the house.  Besides, it was a lot more
comfortale than being covered in grime.

*******

       "So how was your match?" Nodoka asked politely.
 She refilled everybody's tea.
       "She cheated," Genma answered.  Everybody
looked at him and blinked.
       "I wasn't speaking of that exchange this
morning, dear," Nodoka said.  "So how was the match?" 
Ryoko and Ranma stared at each other, virtually daring
the other to say that they won.
       "She's good," Ranma admitted at practically the
same moment that Ryoko said "He's Good."
       "HELLO!" A voice shouted from the entrance.  It
was followed by a cheerful looking Ran-Ran.  "City
Offices open today!  Is time to fix mistake, yes?"
       Ranma turned his glare to face the Amazon
angrily.
       "You're just waiting for use to sign those
papers so you can get him," Ryoko said, growling. 
"Aren't you?"
       "No, no, no!" Ran Ran said, glancing nervously
at Ranma.  "Ran-Ran just want make sure you know it
time to fix mistake."
       "I know," Ranma and Ryoko snapped back, then
looked at each other.
       ~Great,~ Ryoko thought.  ~Nothing but confusion
today, why isn't he already dragging me off if he knew
already?~
       ~She knew?~ Ranma thought.  ~Why are we still
here?~  Neither bothered to ask the question about
themselves.
       "Excuse me, miss," Nodoka said irritably.  "You
should not enter a person's home without requesting an
invitation.  It is very rude."
       "Umm," Ran-Ran said, confused by the quiet
tension in the air.  "Sorry."
       "I suppose you must be somewhat excused,"
Nodoka said.  "Considering this is not your country. 
Still I must ask that you not barge in here like that
again."  ~And put these silly ideas in Ranma's head.~
       "What are you two just staring at each other
for?" Genma asked.  "Hurry up to the offices."  Nodoka
spared a glare for her husband now.  Ryoko and Ranma
blinked and then stood up, regarding each other
carefully.
       "Yeah," Ranma agreed.  "Why are we wasting
time?"  Ryoko bridled.
       "Wouldn't want to be a burden on your honor any
longer," Ryoko said, glaring at Ranma as he narrowed
his eyes.  They waited a moment and then stomped out
of the room.  Everyone stared after them for a moment.
       Nodoka turned to say something to Genma, a
rather annoyed expression on her face.  She was
stopped, however, when Ryoko and Ranma both appeared
in the room, finished their breakfasts and then
stomped out of the room again.  Everybody blinked,
then Ran-Ran chased after them, probably to make sure
they accomplished their task.
       "Genma, dear," Nodoka said dryly.  "You need to
learn to stop interfering in Ranma's life."
       "Eh?" Genma said, blinking.
       "That is my job," Nodoka explained, walking to
the phone.

*******

       Ranma stopped walking and glanced around
cautiously.
       "What's the matter, fem-boy," Ryoko asked
irritably.
       "Did you feel something just now?" Ranma asked.
       "What do you mean by that?" Ryoko asked,
turning cautious now.  Ranma shrugged.
       "I guess it was nothing," he said, still
unconvinced.  Up a tree several yards away Konatsu
watched them walk away.  He held up a battered piece
of paper and smiled in satisfaction.
       "Ukyou-sama will want to put this in a safe
place," he said, smiling.  He was gone before Nagi
appeared on the scene, following nearly a full block
away from the couple.

*******

       Ran-
Ran frowned as she followed Ryoko and Ranma.  Somebody
else was taking an interest in the couple.  Ran-Ran
wasn't entirely certain the interest was healthy.  The
woman did carry herself like a warrior.  The animal on
her shoulder did look a lot like Ryoko's pet.
       Ran-Ran didn't particularly care if this woman
killed Ryoko or not, but she couldn't let her
interrupt the couple before they anulled their
wedding.  Ranma would feel obliged to interfere.  That
might result in her potential airen beating another
woman in battle. She understood he was prone to that
type of thing, and Ran-Ran felt she had plenty of
competition in the silver-haired women.
       Her mind made up, she dashed forward and landed
in front of the woman following her quarry.
       "Who you?" Ran-Ran demanded.
       "You finally decided to show your face?" the
woman asked from under her hood, smiling.
       "You not interfere," Ran-Ran insisted.  The
woman glanced over her shoulder at the trees lining
the park.  A pair of shadows shifted slightly.  Nagi
looked back down at Ran-Ran with a thoughtful
expression.
       "You might prove useful, girl," Nagi said.  ~As
bait.~
       "Miao?" the animal on her shoulder cried out. 
Ran-Ran could almost swear it was talking.
       "You back off, and I no have to kill you,"
Ran-Ran warned her.  Nagi laughed quietly.

*******

       Ranma and Ryoko stood in the line and tapped
their feet impatiently.
       "You're not a burden," Ranma said after a long
silence.
       "Excuse me?" Ryoko asked.
       "You're not a burden to my honor," Ranma said. 
"You're something of pain in the neck, but you ain't a
burden."
       "Heh," Ryoko laughed.  "Who are you to call me
a pain in the neck."
       "Takes one to know one, right?" Ranma smirked. 
They reached the end of the line.
       "May I help you?" the attendant asked.
       "We're trying to get a marriage annulled,"
Ranma answered.
       "Any reason?" the attendant asked.
       "It was a clerical error," Ryoko explained,
tightly, drumming her fingers against her elbow.  "We
didn't mean to get married."
       "I see," the attendant said.  "May I see the
license and your IDs?"  Ryoko shuffled uncomfortably
at the mention of ID.
       "Sure," Ranma said.  He reached into his
pockets and blinked as he found nothing.  "Eh?"  He
started getting nervous as he continued searching and
continued to find nothing.  "Ummm, I don't seem to
have either."
       "What!?" Ryoko demanded.  "What do you mean you
don't have them!?"
       "I don't have them," Ranma said, sweating.  "I
was sure I had them right here, but they're gone!?"
       "I can't help you without those papers, sir,"
the attendant said.  "Please return when you have the
proper papers."  She looked past them.  "Nex-rrk!?" 
Ryoko pulled the woman up into her face.
       "Listen you miserable little creep," Ryoko
snapped.  "We did not get married on purpose.  It was
a damn accident, and if you don't fix it right now."
       "I...I...I..I can't without the IDs and license
miss," the woman stuttered.  "There's information on
them that I need."  Ryoko growled at her.  "But you
can get new copies."
       "Fine," Ryoko said, dropping the woman. 
"That's another line isn't it?"
       "Uhhh..." the woman felt a little afraid of
what might happen if she answered.
       "Never mind," Ranma said.  "We'll find it. 
Come on, Ryoko."  Ryoko turned to see him walking away
and snorted.
       "You're lucky today," Ryoko said following
Ranma.  The woman in the both slumped against the
counter.
       "Next?" she said uncertainly.

*******

       The man in the window found himself staring
into an angry face, which was not uncommon.  The owner
of the face was tapping their fingers incessantly. 
This was also not uncommon.  The fact that the counter
was cracking under his fingers was.
       "We need ID," Ranma growled.  "To get a copy of
our IDs?"
       "We'd accept any of these other methods of
Identification," the man said nervously.  "If you
don't have a photo ID."
       "And where do we get these?" Ranma asked
coolly, looking over the list for a moment before
handing it to Ryoko.
       "Well," the man said nervously.  "You go to the
second door down on the left..."

*******

       "I'm sorry, sir," the next man said.  "We can't
give you this without some proof of your identity."
       "That's why we want this information!" Ranma
shouted.
       "The idiot here lost his identification," Ryoko
said irritably.  "And I haven't had one for I don't
know how long."
       "Oh," the attendant said.  "Sorry, but if you
can't prove who you are..."
       "Yeah, yeah," Ranma said turning away from the
window and stomping out of the room.  "We'll try the
next office."

*******

       Ranma and Ryoko had taken a break from the
endless run of lines to find something to eat. 
Neither was in an exceptionally good mood.  The sight
of someone working hard to separate themselves from
you was not a pleasant thing, even if you were doing
the same thing.  Add that to the frustration of
dealing with bureaucracy, and you get a powder keg out
of anyone.
       "Hey!" Ranma said suddenly.  "I just thought of
something."
       "What," Ryoko asked.
       "Can Ryo-Ohki do that thing where they make
stuff?" Ranma asked?
       "She can make 'stuff' but I don't think it
would be very useful," Ryoko said snidely.
       "No, no," Ranma said.  "Like on that American
show the reproducers or somethin'?"
       "Material fabrication?" Ryoko asked.
       "Uhh...okay," Ranma said.  "I guess so."  Ranma
and Ryoko looked toward Ryo-Ohki.
       "Miao?"

*******

       "I don't think this will work," Ryoko said,
standing on Ryo-Ohki's bridge somewhere over the
pacific ocean.  She was holding a small card that
appeared on first glance to be plastic.  A microscope
would show that it was actually a flat sheet of
crystal, however.
       "What's wrong with it?" Ranma asked.  Ryoko
hesitated a moment and then showed Ranma the card. 
The martial artist burst out laughing at the image of
Ryoko with whiskers and cabbit ears.
       "Oh, you think that's funny?" Ryoko asked.  She
tossed him another card.  This one with two images, a
Ranma-cabbit-kun, and a Ranma-cabbit-chan.  A blonde
Ranma-cabbit-chan.  "Now those are some funny
pictures."
       "Hey!?" Ranma snapped.  "Let's see about this."
 
       He turned to find one of those floating rocks
that seemed to be Ryo-Ohki.  He leaned to the stone
and started whispering.  A few moments later another
card clattered to the bridge's surface.  Ranma
snatched it up.
       "How's this for laughs?" Ranma asked,
brandishing a picture of a Ryoko-carrot.
       "Ryo-Ohki!!" Ryoko snapped, the crystals
sweatdropped.

*******

       "Look at this one," Ranma snickered, picking up
a card out of the growing pile.
       "Heh, he has hair," Ryoko said, smirking.
       "Pops never looked so good," Ranma agreed. 
"Who's that one?"
       "This is Washu," Ryoko said, pointing at the
Washu-cabbit picture.  "The scary thing is she had a
robot once that looked a lot like that."
       "Really?" Ranma said.  "Weird."
       "Miao," Ryo-Ohki said, the sound carrying a
definite serious tone.  "Miao, Mi."
       "Fighter jets, here we come," Ranma muttered.
       "There aren't any ships around here right now,"
Ryoko said.  She moved to the deck chair and sat down,
calling up a flat screen.  A white and blue
crystalline ship was shown in the screen.  "Nagi."
Ryoko growled.  A second screen appeared filled with
the bounty hunter's face.
       "Enjoying married life, Ryoko?" the image asked
with cool amusement.  "Don't look so surprised.  It
isn't like this world's computers are a match for
Ken-Ohki."
       "I'm not interested in chit-chat, bitch," Ryoko
snapped back.  "You've come to set the duel?"
       "I asked you to take care of her Saotome," Nagi
continued.  "Not take care of her."  She repeated with
a humored twist.
       "I could care less what you want," Ranma said. 
He walked next to Ryoko and leaned over to whisper to
her.  "Will she attack in that thing?"
       "Ken-Ohki won't hurt Ryo-Ohki," Ryoko answered.
       "Neither would Ryo-Ohki hurt Ken-Ohki," Nagi
added.  "As long as we stay on the ships it's a
stalemate."  Ryoko growled angrily at the smug Nagi.
       "Get to the point," Ryoko demanded.
       "Do you know a little girl with green hair that
can't speak the local language?" Nagi asked calmly. 
"Somewhat repetitive name?"
       "Ran-Ran?"  Ranma asked levelly.
       "I had an encounter with her today," Nagi
admitted.  "About the same time the first of the
bounty hunters showed up.  Aside from you of course." 
Ryoko frowned and stood up.  She didn't like the girl
much, but the girl was a kid, with plenty of time to
grow up.  Or at least she was.
       "Where are the bodies?" Ryoko asked coolly. 
Ranma snapped a look at her.
       "Oh, she's still alive," Nagi said.  Another
flat screen appeared showing two figures.  Ranma
flinched away from one, a nekojin with a superior
smirk on his face.  The other looked more or less
human, if a fairly battered one.
       "Those aren't bounty hunters," Ryoko growled. 
"You sold her off?!"
       "What do you mean sold," Ranma asked, getting
near to losing his cool.
       "Carella and Irashi here claim to be bounty
hunters," Nagi said.  "But they have other lines of
business.  If you hurry, you can get to them before
they reach the nearest black market port."
       "You bitch," Ryoko snapped.  "What are you
doing this for?!"
       "I'm just warming up," Nagi said, and her
communication screen finished.  The screen viewing
Ken-Ohki showed the cabbit ship receeding rapidly, and
they didn't have time to chase it.

=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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